Snapshots #425: Furniture Songs

Here's someone with an eye for a nice piece of furniture. Hopefully he'll be impressed by some of the antiques below...

16. Hawaiian Dick. 

Thomas Magnum was a Private Dick who worked in Hawaii.

Magnum - Rockin' Chair

15. County Lineman goes Statewide.

Wichita is in Kansas.

Kansas - Closet Chronicles

14. That’s original.

Genesis is another word for origin.

Genesis - I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe)

13. Up early for a jog.

Morning Runner - Burning Benches

12. A Chandler, and a friend of Bing.

Chas was a famous Chandler. Bing Crosby went drumming with David Bowie.

Chas & Dave – The Sideboard Song

11. They’re knock outs – OK?

KO-OKs.

Kooks - Sofa Song

10. Eric, likes Bruce.

Eric Church sang about Springsteen.

The Church – Shadow Cabinet

9. In the styles of US TV ratings.

US TV ratings are the Nielsen Ratings. Harry brought the Styles.

Harry Nilsson - Good Old Desk

8. Trapped in the Soweto battleground.

SoWETo battLEGround.

Wet Leg - Chaise Longue

 

7. Basil, the Fantastic Doctor.

Basil Brush, the Fantastic Mr. Fox, Dr. Fox (he wasn't a real doctor).

Fox - S-S-Single Bed

6. A young mix of languages and a non-dairy milk.

Kids are young. Mixed languages are creole. Non-dairy milk might be coconut.

Kid Creole & The Coconuts - Stool Pigeon

5. Basic card game for Puff and Toothless.

The Snapdragons - Dole Boys On Futons

4. Elton Johny was very confused.

"Elton Johny" was an angram.

John Leyton - Cupboard Love

3. Partridge: like a small version of a Smith.

Alan (Partridge) is Morrissette.

Alanis Morrissette – The Couch

2. Stevie is a strong, resilient guy… but he can’t spell.

Wonder's tough.

The Wonder Stuff - Welcome To the Cheap Seats

1. Feeling trapped in a shadeless garden.

ShADELEss garden.

Adele - Turning Tables

You'll Love the Joy of more Snapshots next Saturday.

Teacher Songs #3: Home Economics

Bis - Home Economics

I don't remember my Home Economics teacher at all. Not her name, nor what she looked like. Maybe this explains why I'm hopeless in the kitchen and can only just manage to sew a button onto my shirt after stabbing myself in the finger a few times.

Alanis Morissette - You Learn

I can remember most of the other teachers I had at school by either name or face, but there's just a blank when it comes to Home Economics lessons. I vaguely remember having to take ingredients in when we were doing cooking... maybe we made an egg salad one time? Something with pastry? The only thing I definitely remember making was a blancmange. And it was horrible. I've not eaten blancmange since. Does anybody still eat blancmange? When was the last time you had one?

Blancmange - Living On The Ceiling

I wish I had paid more attention in Home Economics. I wish I'd taken it past the second year. Nowadays, boys might be more likely to do so, but back in the Neolithic era, it was very much seen as a girl's subject and the other kids had more than enough ammunition when it came to targeting me, I wasn't going to give them an easy goal like that.

Wings - Girls' School

Because I don't remember the name of my Home Economics teacher, I guess we'll have to call her Mrs Fucking MacMurphy...

Saturday Snapshots #129 - The Answers

I thought I'd get a Doctor to prescribe the answers this week, and this was the first one I could find. We could all use a good doctor right about now...


10. A town like Tokyo.

A town = Alpha Ville.

Tokyo is a BIG town IN JAPAN.

Alphaville - Big In Japan

9. I am Mark Pox. Press here.

" I am Mark Pox" is an anagram.

Maxïmo Park - Apply Some Pressure

8. Where we're all heading... next to the snowball factory.

The Icicle Works - Shit Creek

Some guitars in there which will certainly blow away the cobwebs.

7. Ricky says hello... to God.... one Christmassy dawn?

Rick Nelson said Hello, Mary Lou.

Mary Lou Lord - Some Jingle Jangle Morning

6. Itinerant dance arsonists.

The Trammps - Disco Inferno

5. So What, Pretty Boy? On yer...

Pink sang So What. 

Pretty Boy Floyd.

On yer bike.

Pink Floyd - Bike

4. Amp from Southern L.A., anytime, any place.

Marshall amp.

Crenshaw is in Southern L.A.

Marshall Crenshaw - Someday, Somewhere

3. Be aware: snot materialises!

"Snot materialises" is our anagram of the month.

Alanis Morissette - You Oughta Know

2. I'd like a fraternity smack collection, please.

A fraternity is a brotherhood.

A smack on the lips is a kiss.

The Brotherhood of Man - Save All Your Kisses For Me

I loved that when I was a kid.

"Even though you're only three."

1. Valuation of William Cody Simpson's hometown.

William Cody was Buffalo Bill.

The Simpson's hometown is Springfield.

A valuation tells you what something is worth.

Paranoia strikes deep

Into your life it will creep

It starts when you're always afraid

Step out of line, the men come and take you away!

Will Saturday Snapshots be back next week?

Who knows?

Hot 100 #21

Yes, I could have chosen the logo of Twenty One Pilots to illustrate this post, but I don't think they ever recorded a song as good as this. Feel free to disabuse me of that notion should you wish. Jim In Dubai also suggested another 12 group...

Jim's Twenty One - Throwaway Friend

...which I don't think is his own bad, but it's pretty good regardless.

Welcome to the 80th post in this series (look, I did the Maths, you work it out)... which means The Key To The Door: Number 21.

Let's start with Martin, who appears to be struggling somewhat this week...

Erm. 21. Feels like there should be loads.

Well, I found a fair few.

So Solid Crew - 21 Seconds

That... wasn't one of them.

Alanis Morrissette - 21 Things I Want In A Lover

Neither was that. Although it's a step up from So Solid Crew.

Sigue Sigue Sputnik - 21st Century Boy which is probably the first time they've rubbed up against Alanis...

Blimey, you really are scraping the barrel this week.

The Who - 1921

That's more like it.

ELO - 21st Century Man

That's not bad either. Not a winner though.

While we're in the 21st Century, we might as well get these out of the way too...

The Soundtrack of Our Lives - 21st Century Rip Off

Mike Peters - 21st Century

Laptop - 21st Century World

Toto - 21st Century Blues

Frank Hamilton - 21C

Glenn Frey - Love In The 21st Century

Frank Turner - 21st Century Survival Blues

Jamie Cullum (yes, Jamie Cullum, deal with) - 21st Century Kid

Midland - 21st Century Honky Tonk American Band

Jim in Dubai offered Luke Haines - 21st Century Man

C tried King Crimson - 21st Century Schizoid Man

The Swede had T.Rex - 21st Century Stance and The Membranes - 21st Century Man, but curiously not The Mebranes - The 21st Century Is Killing Me.

And Rigid Digit supplied Green Day - 21st Century Breakdown, which hails from the same album as Green Day - 21 Guns. Not their best, no, but no their worst either.

Finally, Douglas offered...

Bad Religion - 21st Century (Digital Boy)

But... well, let's face it: the 21st Century is pretty horrible, so I think we'll skip all those, fine songs though they may be.

Back to The Swede...

Luxuria - Lady 21

Bon Iver - 21 Moonwater

Juana Molina - Wed 21

Sounds like John Shuttleworth on the keyboards there, Swede.

Snailhouse - Twenty One Years

Personally though, The Swede concludes, I'd like to suggest Twenty One by The Apartments. What a truly wonderful band they are.

That is very nice, I have to admit it. Doesn't exist in my own record collection (yet), which is the one stipulation to be a winner on this series. But I definitely have to investigate it further.

Where's Lynchie? Putting all his eggs in one basket this week, it seems...

Well, it's obvious the winner is Twenty-One by The Eagles.

I was very tempted, I'll admit it.

Here comes Brian, who's backing The Swede's final suggestion, but also throws in this...

The Flaming Lips - One More Robot / Sympathy 3000-21 

...which I'm glad he did, because somehow the trawl through my own 21s missed that. Here's a few more of those, if you're at all interested...

Jim Bob - Coach A Seat 21

Dave Gahan - 21 Days

Frank Black - 21 Reasons

The Charlatans - Come In, Number 21

Ash - Death Trip 21

Blink 182 - 21 Days

The Divine Comedy - 21st of May

Jeff Rosenstock - June 21st

And finally, Douglas had a couple more suggestions...

The Cranberries - 21

(Which owes quite a debt to Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time, if you ask me.)

Chuck Berry - 21 Blues

These lead us quite nicely into the subsection "Songs about being age 21", to which I can add...

The Paddingtons - 21

Jack White - Freedom At 21

Wilko Johnson & Roger Daltrey - Turned 21

The Shirelles - Twenty-One

The Lonesome Pine Fiddlers - Twenty One Years

And... of course... this, which was our opening suggestion this week, from Charity Chic, who almost begged...

The Adverts - No Time to Be 21, please, Rol.

C seconded that too, and, well... why not?

Life's short, don't make a mess of it
To the ends of the earth, you'll look for a sense in it
No chances, no plans
I'll smash the windows of my box
I'll be a madman
It's no time to be 21
To be anyone

To be honest, even though I'm not particularly enjoying 47... I don't think I'd fancy being 21 again. Would you?


And so we finally reach the Top 20. On your marks... get set...

Go!