Showing posts with label De La Soul. Show all posts
Showing posts with label De La Soul. Show all posts

Friday, 16 May 2025

Emergency Questions #4: Throwing In The Towel


Another query to help start conversation, courtesy of Richard Herring's essential book, Emergency Questions...

Do you have a favourite towel? What is your best story about it?

While I'm not sure that I have any stories about towels, I do have very definite opinions about what makes a good towel... and it's not a new, fluffy one. 

I'm firmly with Larry David when it comes to towels...


"Towels are better when they're washed over and over again, like a pair of jeans, they dry you a lot better."

Never has a truer word been spoken in jest.

Here are some songs about towels...

The Associates - Straw Towels

I bet they're nice, rough towels that dry you properly.

SLAVES - This Is You Throwing In The Towel

Mom Jeans - I Left My Towel At My Friend's House And Then They Moved, Pt. 1

The Wldlfe - Towel 


Are you with me (and Larry) on the benefits of a nice rough towel? Or do you buy new towels every 6 months because you like them fluffy as heck but don't care whether you're actually dry or not?

Any other towel-related opinions and anecdotes will be gratefully received...


Sunday, 12 February 2023

Snapshots #279: A Top Ten Skating Songs

This week's clues led to ten songs about skating - on rollerskates, ice skates, maybe even a skateboard. Here are the answers...


10. Not entirely tone deaf.

The Deftones - Rocket Skates

9. Slow cherry.

Anagram!

Sheryl Crow - Roller Skate

8. Inside the house, little minx sees all.

...little mINX Sees all.

INXS - Roller Skating

7. French vineyard for fools.

Vineyard in French is La Vigne. April is the month for Fools, Avril in French.

Avril Lavigne - Sk8ter Boi

No marks for spelling.

6. Loverboy gets sad.

Billy Ocean sang Loverboy... then got blue.

The Ocean Blue - Ice Skating At Night

5. The worst way to travel between seas.

On the dire straits...

Dire Straits - Skateaway

4. Napoleon Solo rolls up his trouser leg.

Napoleon Solo was played by Robert Vaughn. I don't think he was a Mason.

Vaughan Mason & Crew - Roller Skate

Or even...

Vaughan Mason & Crew - Bounce, Rock, Skate, Roll

3. Andrew hated elks.

Anagram!

Kathleen Edwards - Hockey Skates

2. This Mr. Trotter was more than just a plonker.

Del was a bit of an a-soul.

De La Soul - A Roller Skating Jam Named Saturdays 

1. A great bond links Steve & Frankie.

Roger was a great Bond. Frankie and Steve are both Millers.

1. Roger Miller - You Can't Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd


Get your skates on - there'll be more Snapshots next Saturday.

Monday, 29 August 2022

Celebrity Jukebox #28: Bill Bixby


Following on from Friday's Lou Ferrigno post, here's his other half...

"Mr. McGee... don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

With all due respect to Lou, the true star of The Incredible Hulk TV show wasn't the big green guy with the muscles... it was his quieter, calmer alter ego, Dr. David Banner. Bill Bixby did the quiet man role masterfully, bottling up his rage until he just couldn't hold it in any more... and then, the pupils went wide. More than that though, he cut a truly tragic figure as a itinerant loner, doomed never to settle down. That was always the final shot of the show, Banner taking that long walk out of town, the emotion turned up to eleven with the help of Joe Hammell's heart-wrenching Lonely Man Theme.

The Incredible Hulk was actually Bill Bixby's fourth major TV role. He'd previously starred in the sitcoms My Favourite Martian and The Courtship of Eddie's Father, followed by the lead role as a crime-fighting conjurer in The Magician. But it was David Banner (changed from the comic book Bruce Banner as the producer didn't like alliterative names) that guaranteed his immortality. Nobody could make a walk out of town seem quite so devastating.   

The fact that, at any second, Billy Bixby could go total Hulk on yo' ass endears him greatly to the rap community. As with Lou Ferrigno, he gets name-dropped by everyone from Ice Cube, Lil Wayne and P Diddy to De La Soul and Public Enemy

And then there's this...


Not to mention this dude...


And this one...


You get the picture. (Yes, we see.)

Meanwhile, David Banner's famous catch-phrase also crops up all over the place, most notably here...


And considering Prince's boss was called Mr. McGee in the track below, I'm betting the Purple One could well have turned Green... if he hadn't been a bit too leisurely.


However, right back at the beginning of this post (in the late 1970s), I proclaimed Bill Bixby the winner over his large green alter ego. And the reason for that is the tune below, a far better Bill Bixby song than any I could find that mentioned Lou Ferrigno. 

Bill Bixby died of prostate cancer in the early 90s, but he lives on in my record collection thanks to another Bill, Mr. Callahan of Smog, a man who clearly appreciates the power of a slow stroll of out of town.

You know I used to share a tailor
With David Bruce Banner
That's the Hulk
Traveling jackets and traveling bags
Future rags
And shoes good for walking highways
But never quite far enough away
To see how good and easy it could be
If I just got angry
But I never got angry
Maybe I should have
I could have cleared some things away
In those old Bill Bixby days



Tuesday, 30 June 2020

Hot 100 #3

Yes, the Fun Boy Three had to be the band who represented 3 on our countdown.

Fun Boy Three - The Lunatics Have Taken Over The Asylum

Although we could also have gone with...

Alabama 3 - Too Sick To Pray

Juliana Hatfield Three - Spin The Bottle

Three Degrees - When Will I See You Again

The Dirty Three - The Restless Waves

Three Dog Night - Mama Told Me Not To Come

Spacemen 3 - Lord Can You Hear Me?

Mojave 3 - Love Songs On The Radio

3 Colours Red - Beautiful Day

Robyn Hitchcock & The Venus 3 - Adventure Rocketship

Steve Wynn & The Miracle 3 - Amphetamine

3 Doors Down - Kryptonite

The Three O'Clock - Jet Fighter

The Three Johns - Death of the European

Third Eye Blind - Semi-Charmed Life

Unique Three - The Theme

The Len Price 3 - Swing Like A Monkey

And probably a load more. I've reached the stage where I've accepted defeat when it comes to making these lists exhaustive.

Onto the songs, and Charity Chic opens the bidding this week...

The Commodores - Three Times a Lady

Going once, going twice...

Patsy Cline - Three Cigarettes in an Ashtray 

Eddie Cochran - Three Steps to Heaven or Showaddywaddy

I think we'll stick with Eddie, thanks.

Next up is Martin, who I had to edit for reasons that will become apparent below, though he did offer the following...

Ian Dury and The Blockheads - Reasons To Be Cheerful, Part 3

The Wedding Present - Three

And I even got artist and song title round the cut'n'paste-able way :)

Always appreciated. Thank you, Martin. Although I didn't expect you to miss this...

Martin Rossiter - Three Points On A Compass

Next up is C...

I'd go for...

The Selecter - Three Minute Hero

Also, if you'll let it count, how about a song that's very evocative for those of us of a certain age:

Pentangle - Nightflight (Theme to Take Three Girls)

"TV theme from the late 60s series about three 'swinging chicks' sharing a groovy pad in London."

I'm too young to remember that, but I bet it was groovy.

OK, deep breath everybody... here comes The Swede!

(I should add that I have edited The Swede's list this week, but only to remove the Christmas songs, because we're about as far away from Christmas as it is possible to get.)

Thin White Rope - The Three Song

Juniper Tar - Three Words

Trinity - Three Piece Suit and Thing

Double points for that one.

The (fake) Clash - Three Card Trick

I should probably ask why they're fake... I'm sure there's a story there.

The Faces - Three Button Hand Me Down

Okkervil River - Stand Ins, Three

More of an instrumental break, really, but I do love the album this comes from. I am not going to allow you The Stand Ins, Two & One over the next two weeks though.

The Good, The Bad & The Queen - Three Changes

The Ink Spots - We Three (My Echo, My Shadow & Me)

That's lovely.

Joanna Newsom - Three Little Babes

Sunset Rubdown - Three Colours

Sounds like a knocking shop, as my mum wouldn't say.

Possible Selves - Three Birds

Snailhouse - Three Nights

Simplicity People - KG's at Halfway Three

McCoy Tyner - Lee Plus Three

Emily Portman - Three Gold Hairs

Rachel Newton - Three Days

One Eleven Heavy - Three Poisons

Fire on Fire - Three Or More

Jake Xerxes Fussell - Three Ravens

White Hills - Three Quarters

Nick Drake - Three Hours

At last! One I actually own!

Wire - Three Girl Rumba

Followed by one that Elastica clearly own.

Amon Duul II - Three Eyed Overdrive

Followed by one I'm betting only The Swede owns.

Gary US Bonds - Quarter to Three

Dillinger - Three Piece Suit and Thing

Wonder if it was khaki?

Bill Anderson - Three AM

Grizzly Bear - Three Rings

Bob Marley - Three Little Birds

That was a serious contender. Can't believe nobody else suggested it.

Walter Bishop Jr - Three Loves

Bert Jansch - Three Dreamers

Orange Juice - Three Cheers For Our Side

Hip hip hooray!

Herbie Hancock - Three Wishes

Herbie Hancock - Three Bags Full

Tangerine Dream - Sunrise in the Third System

Two weeks in a row for Tangerine Dream.

BeBop Deluxe - Third Floor Heaven

Khruangbin - Evan Finds the Third Room

I could have done without watching that video.

Marc Bolan - The Third Degree

Terry - Third War

I put that into youtube and this is what came up.

Brian Eno - Third Uncle

No Age - Third Grade Rave

Michael Gibbs - And on the Third Day

Roj - Attaining the Third State

Wow. You really outdid yourself this week, Swede. Although I was surprised you missed this...

Bob Dylan - Three Angels

What do you say, Swiss Adam?

Fucking hell, Swede!

Well, there's no need to swear.

(But, quite.)


You might not expect it of me, but I always loved the KLF. While most other dance music in the late 80s / early 90s made me want to put my head in the oven, Bill Drummond always made me smile.

Over to John Medd...

I'll go for anything off Squeeze's Packet of 3 EP, though 'Cat on a Wall' would be my lead track. Doesn't count, you say? Breaking some sort of code violation? Can't you invoke a Mornington Crescent style override? Go on, you know you want to!

With only two weeks (three if I can be bothered with a zero postscript - the jury's still out) left, I'm feeling charitable.

Squeeze - Cat On A Wall

Over to Rigid Digit for some fine suggestions...

Manic Street Preachers - 3 Ways To See Despair

Lightning Seeds / Baddiel & Skinner - Three Lions

(I might as well throw this in as a response: Los Campesinos! - Every Defeat A Divorce (Three Lions))

Van Halen - Sucker In A 3 Piece

From the gloriously named OU812.

Pink Floyd - Pigs (3 Different Ones)

This is the point at which Pink Floyd floats off into space as far as I'm concerned.

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Gimme Three Steps

Emerson Lake and Palmer - The Three Fates

I bet that one will go down well with certain correspondents.

Lily Allen - Three

The White Stripes - The Big Three Killed My Baby

and a special one to finish off with:

Dawn - Knock Three Times

That would definitely have been in my Top Ten.

By the way, if anyone wants to know what my hair looks like in Week 732 of Lockdown, I suggest you take a look at Tony Orlando in that video. I keep my chest hair under wraps though.

I also think that video was shot in Greenhead Park in Huddersfield.

Time for Jim in Dubai to step up to the mic...

Belle & Sebastian - The Power of 3

Jamie Wednesday - We Three Kings of Orient Aren't (Pre Carter USM)

The Royal We - Three is a Crowd

The Look - Three Steps Away

They Might Be Giants - Number 3

Always loved that one.

The Lambrettas - Another Day Another Girl (Page 3)

That's a historical artefact.

Ten Pole Tudor - 3 Bells in a Row

Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #3

All of which brings us to Douglas, who's still smarting that I compared one of his suggestions last time to his less than distinguished countrymen, Nickelback...

I will start by facetiously suggesting for your consideration a trinity of provocative suggestions that are designed to get revenge for your Nickelback allusion of last week, which on behalf of all Canadians I express offence taken at (but you knew that was coming because you were already ducking):

U2 - The Three Sunrises (who of course also have an album entitled "Three", don't they? Sure to get them extra points...)

Looked all over for that one, but couldn't find a link anywhere. It wasn't in my garbage disposal unit or the u-bend on my toilet, which seemed the most obvious places to look.

Sting - Three Steps To Heaven (or what of his critically acclaimed performance in the Threepenny Opera?)

That, on the other hand, I had to look for, just to confirm my worst fears. On the positive side, the clip I found was less than a minute long and sing sang for almost half that time.

(I should clarify at this point that I don't hate Sting in the same way as I hate Bonio and The Hedge. I liked many Police songs and even the occasional sing solo tune - I featured my favourite in this week's Saturday Snapshots. Despite that, he's too easy a target for mockery.)

Oh, and in case you were wondering, here's another clip that's less than a minute long...

Sting in The Threepenny Opera

Phil Collins - Three Brothers (from Disney's Brother Bear soundtrack, no less, though sadly Phil does not actually sing on this one)

I'm sure many people will take issue with your use of the word 'sadly' there, Douglas... but anyway, onto your proper suggestions. Now you've had your revenge...

Now that I have got that off my chest,with greater seriousness, I would offer you a few better selections from what my hard drive pulled up in the following:

Real Estate - Three Blocks

Fleet Foxes - Third of May/Odaigahara

Last leaves - Third Thoughts

For those who do not know this last band, but may be fans of the late Lucksmiths, check them out. They are three of the four original band in Marty Donald, Mark Monnone and Louis Richter but with Noah Symons newly added on the drums. They have a more lo-fi chaotic sound than the polished harmonies of the Lucksmiths, but much of the same sophisticated and wry lyrics. Interesting.

You all realise at this point that I need to invite Douglas to contribute a Guest Post Thursday sometime soon, don't you? (Not just to stop him adding to my workload on the Hot 100, because, let's face it, there's only a couple of weeks of that remaining.)

Then, of course, the Canadian in me, still smarting from the mention of Chad Kroeger, would like to represent our country a lot more palatably with the consideration of:

The Tragically Hip - Three Pistols

(And while I'm cross-promoting, you should have been here a couple of Saturdays ago, Douglas, when it took everyone a bloody long time to guess The Tragically Hip on Saturday Snapshots... even with my hilarious 'dem bones; clue.)

The Great Lake Swimmers - Three Days at Sea (Three Lost Years) (Bonus points again, surely?)

Absolutely. Anything else?

And if you insist on the labelling Canada with the alt-rock/alt-metal brush, we have a band called Three Days Grace you should check out. Perhaps the following, which has garnered 264 million views on Youtube, would adequately express your thoughts on the genre:

Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You

You know what, I quite liked that. Although a little bit of research revealed that their current lead singer was in another band previously who were discovered and signed by Chad Kroeger. Small world, eh?

Still, I preferred the Ugly Kid Joe song.

Oh, wait, Douglas ain't done yet...

...And just to let you know that you are doing a good service to promote great music, a couple of weeks ago, Brian suggested the song "7 Compton Street" by a group I confess to never having heard of before, Me and Dean Martin. Your comment that they sounded a lot like the Smiths intrigued me and I gave the link a listen, and rather liked the track a goodly bit, leading me to check out whatever other selections were on Youtube, and eventually ordering a copy of the album "Let's Romanticise Our Youth". The shiny piece of vinyl arrived in the mail today, and it is turning on the table as I write. Very enjoyable. So in honour of the service you are doing, I propose that the band gets a second chance at stardom, from the same LP:

Me And Dean Martin - Life And Death Issues In Three Minutes

And they still sound like The Smiths. But thanks again to Brian. Speaking of whom...

Thanks for taking the time to type that, Douglas. This makes my day. Some stellar threes on this list. I especially wish I had been the first to suggest Wire, Orange Juice, Ian Dury and the Selecter. My winner, as suggested by Adam, would be Television Personalities with Three Wishes. Here are a few more I like...

The June Brides - Three Days

(That's actually a solo effort by frontman Phil Wilson. The June Brides have performed it though.)

fIREHOSE - Disciples of the 3-Way

Very nice, but they lose points for their sins against typography.

The Elvis Brothers - Count to Three

Ooh! a contender for Elvis Fridays!

(Maybe it occurred to me that as this series will be over soon, I should signpost people to a few of the other series on this blog.)

The Very Most - Dodged Ev'ry Bullet Pt. 3

Very nice, but they lose points for their sins against grammar. You can't intensify a superlative.

The Servants - Faithful to 3 Lovers

Nice bit of Lloyd Cole guitar on that.

The Decemberists - Crane Wife 3

A strong contender.

Friends Again - Moon 3

Northern Picture Library - Untitled No. 3

Paul and Linda McCartney - 3 Legs

Heavenly - Three Star Compartment

Dolly Mixture - Three O'Clock Rhapsody

Nope, couldn't find that one anywhere.

Are ordinal numbers a rule breaker? (If they were, a third of the songs on this list would be gone.) If not, Ramones should take this thing with 53rd and 3rd.

Sadly though, that does fall foul of The Tom Robinson Rule, which we've done pretty well to avoid breaking this far this week.

OK, that's almost it for your suggestions this week. Here's a selection from my own hard-drive not mentioned above. We'll start with a very strong contender...

The Browns - The Three Bells

And then there was this...

Frank Sinatra - Three Coins In The Fountain

Or, if you prefer the British version...

Alan Klein - Three Coins In The Sewer

Lovely.

Here's a load more...

Carly Simon - Three Days

The Charlatans - Opportunity Three

Drive-By Truckers - The Three Great Alabama Icons

Worth a listen if you want to find out more about why Lynyrd Skynrd wrote Sweet Home Alabama, and what Neil Young thought of it.

Fats Domino - Three Nights A Week

Patti Smith - We Three

Jimmy Buffet - Door Number 3

Magnolia Electric Company - The Last 3 Human Words

Miaow - Three Quarters of the Way To Paradise

Red House Painters - Three Legged Cat

The Cure - Three Imaginary Boys

High Llamas - Three Point Scrabble

The Wallflowers - Three Marlenas

Craig Finn - Three Drinks

Eric Church - Three Year Old

(That one will choke up any dads reading this.)

JJ72 - Half Three

Richmond Fontaine - Three Brothers Roll Into Town

Rilo Kiley - Three Hopeful Thoughts

Sinead O'Connor - Three Babies

Chumbawamba - Morality Play in 3 Acts

Interpol - No I In Threesome

Jack White - Three Women

Jenny Lewis - Aloha & the Three Johns

Lucinda Williams - Those Three Days

The Courteeners - Three Months

The Divine Comedy - Threesome

The Divine Comedy - Three Sisters

The Faces - Three Button Hand Me Down

The Lemonheads - Rule of Three

The Proclaimers - Three More Days

The Superman Revenge Squad Band - Paulie in Rocky Three

William Bell - The Three Of Me

Jesse Malin - The Three Martini Lunch

The Breeders - Only In 3s

Eels - 3 Speed

Finally, I'd just like to point of that the Tom Robinson Rule has prevented this from taking the trophy both this week and next. Damn that Tom Robinson Rule!

Meat Loaf - Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad

Which brings us to this week's winner.

Or winners.

And for that, we have to go back to Martin, who began his suggestions this week thus:

I like how you teased De La Soul in your closing line, Rol, but that's just called "The Magic Number", isn't it, so I can't pitch that one.



What Martin appears to have forgotten, however, is this...



Which is a more direct cover of the original song (that De La Soul adapted), by Bob Dorough (also suggested by The Swede), which was originally written for an educational TV show called Schoolhouse Rock...


And so this week, we have not one winner... but three. Which seems rather appropriate.

Will there be two winners next week?

You tell me...


Wednesday, 12 October 2016

October #6: De La Soul


6. De La Soul (featuring Snoop Dogg) - Pain
Your music means everything to you...
Are you concerned about the status of your playlist 
And precious collection?
We feel you
And we're here to help...
Have no fear: De La Soul is here!
I'd be lying if I claimed to be an expert in hip hop. I like some of it, mainly the stuff that tells interesting stories or has a witty undercurrent and isn't just about (to quote Scroobius Pip) "guns, bitches 'n' bling".

De La Soul are one of those groups I've always admired from a distance, enjoying (even loving) some of the singles but never really immersing myself in a whole album. However, a couple of intriguing reviews and the fact that it was available on eMusic led me to take a punt on their new crowdfunded offering, ...And The Anonymous Nobody, and I've found myself drawn back to it quite a lot over the past couple of weeks.

Pain seems to be the "impact track" (apparently singles don't exist anymore) of the moment and it's definitely a stand-out, due to the laid back beat, chiming chorus and guest appearance by a certain Mr. Dogg (no long a Lion, it seems: I try to keep up on these things). But it's by no means the only high point on the album: other ecletic guest stars include Jill Scott, David Byrne and Justin Hawkins (no - it works: it really works!), while even ubiquitous hipster Damon Albarn manages not to grate too much. Yep, I'm pleasantly surprised by how much I'm enjoying this record...




Friday, 23 September 2016

My Top Ten Maths Songs (Volume 4: Multiplication)



Almost finished our Maths lessons now... how well do you know your times tables?


10. Bobby Darin - Multiplication

Always start with the obvious one. Bobby Darin is seen as the safe side of rock 'n' roll, and most of his tracks do have all the rough edges filed off. But if you're a fan of the era (as I am), it's still fun to give songs like this a spin every now and then.

9. Doc & Merle Watson - Three Times Seven

Ah, the arrogance of youth, perfectly expressed by Doc Watson, covering an old Merle Travis song from the 40s with his son, also called Merle.
I'm three times seven and I do as I doggone pleaseThere ain't no woman this side of heaven gonna get me on my kneesI'm three times seven, gals, and that makes twenty oneLord, I just won't tame, I'm gonna be the same 'till I'm three times twenty one
8. Mr. Hudson & The Library - 2 x 2

Mr. Hudson & The Library were guilty of that aggravating mix of beats and guitars I tired of very soon in the decade they will forever refer to as The Noughties (even though there was very little naughtiness involved). They redeemed themselves through evocative lyrics: 2x2 is a fine example of this. I understand Mr. Hudson himself is still in the go, but sadly the Library closed down. Sign of the times...

7. Ride - 0 x 4

Where shoe-gazing meets power-pop. Ride split in the late 90s but reformed recently to ride (punintended) the seemingly bottomless wave of nostalgia tours catering to middle-aged men desperate to recapture their misspent youth for at least one night a week... of which I would surely be a part if I had the time or the money.

6. Cake - Multiply The Heartaches

Cake's cover of the George Jones / Melba Montgomery country song was renamed to include 'Subtract One Love' in the title, so feasibly I could have included it in last week's chart. I stuck with the original name so we don't confuse our budding musical mathematicians.

Hard to believe Cake have been baking up tracks like this for over 20 years now, and they're still going... though there hasn't been a new album since 2011.

5. Commodores - Three Times A Lady

Definitely one to irk the musos due to its sheer ubiquity. I don't listen to Steve Wright's Sunday Love Songs, but I'd be disappointed if I turned him on and he wasn't playing this. However, as monumental Ă¼ber-ballads go, this one is in a class of its own and Lionel Ritchie is a legend.

If it's still too soppy for you, you might try the Cobra Starship version... but that only really works if you appreciate the original.

4. Silver Sun - 17 Times

James Broad's Silver Sun were one of my favourite bands of the Britpop era - although they weren't Britpop at all. Pure power-pop mixed with Beach Boys harmonies and James's angelic lead vocals; guitars so chunky they give Yorkies a run for their money. 17 Times is a b-side but it doesn't deviate from the template one jot. Like the Ramones, most Silver Sun songs sound exactly the same... but it's such a great song, who cares?

3. Cinerama - 7x

The 7x ingredients for Coca-Cola were a closely guarded secret, although the formula was allegedly revealed a few years ago.

Only David Gedge could use the Coca-Cola formula as a metaphor for a mysterious lady who won't talk to him anymore...
"It's 7X," and that's all that they'll say about Coke And you're just as circumspect and I didn't mean that as a joke
Because I know everybody's got a secret deep inside But you, oh you must be quite unique, the things you hide
2. The Doors - Love Me Two Times

We need more harpsichords in rock songs.

1. De La Soul - The Magic Number

Schoolhouse Rock was a series of educational songs that ran in and amongst Saturday morning kids shows on American TV in the 70s. These included a song for each of the times tables up to 12, the most famous of which was Bob Dorough's Three Is A Magic Number. This has been covered by a variety of pop and rock acts over the years, most notably Blind Melon, Jeff Buckley and Embrace. They're all fine versions (I'm particularly fond of the Embrace one), but they all stick very closely to Dorough's original. De La Soul, on the other hand, took the basic track and made it their own.
Shake, rattle and roll to my magic number...



Which is your multiplication fixation?


Monday, 21 January 2013

My Top Ten Answering Machine Songs


Ten great songs left on answering machines...


10.  Ben Folds Five - Your Most Valuable Possession

So, apparently, Ben Folds' dad suffers from somniloquy, a condition where you talk in your sleep... which makes you, apparently, ring up your rock star son and leave garbled messages on his answering machine which he then sets to music and uses to pad out his records. Or so the internet would have me believe.

9. Dandy Warhols - Phone Call

I don't know the story behind this disturbing series of answer phone messages set to haunting music... but it scares the hell out of me nevertheless.

8. Laptop - End Credits

If you came home to an answering message like this one, you'd probably never sleep again.

7. Blake Shelton - Austin

Big-stetson C&W at its most shamelessly cheesey. Nothing wrong with that.
If you're callin' 'bout the car, I sold it
If this is Tuesday night, I'm bowling
If you've got somethin' to sell,
you're wastin' your time, I'm not
buyin'
If it's anybody else, wait for the tone,
You know what to do
And P.S. if this is Austin, I still love you
6. Cinerama - Maniac

On the other hand, some exes leave rather less romantic answerphone messages. This one drives David Gedge to call back... no doubt making matters much worse. You've got to learn when to let it drop, Dave.
And when I made that stupid oath
About how I was going to
Pay for someone to kill you both
It was just my way of showing you

That I wasn't playing

Oh yeah, you're right, I sounded like a maniac
But that's just what I'm saying
You'll only see how much I've changed

If you come back
5. Shirley Lee - The Reservoir

Not the first time I've found a way to include this song in a Top Ten... doubt it'll be the last. A tribute to Shirley's dear departed dad, it's one of the most emotionally devastating songs I've ever heard. Never fails to bring a tear to my eye*, especially when he plays that answerphone message at the end.

the reservoir by Shirley Lee on Grooveshark

(*As proof, I just listened to it again now and my eyes are streaming.)

4. Paul Evans - Hello, This is Joannie (The Telephone Answering Machine Song)

Wow. Not heard this for years, but it does remind me of my childhood. Guess they must have played it lots on Radio 2 when I was 7.

Evans was an old rock 'n' roller from the 50s - he had a hit with the original version of Seven Little Girls (Sitting in the Back Seat). This was a surprise comeback hit in 1979, another excellent car crash song... with a morbid twist. The answerphone chorus is sung by Lea Jane Berinati. In case you were wondering.

3. De La Soul - Ring Ring Ring (Ha Ha Hey)

You know, the one that Curiosity Killed The Cat... borrowed.

2. Pulp - Ansaphone
Are you really not at home?
Or are you there but not alone?
Screening calls you don't want to receive
Meaning calls... calls that come from me.
If you weren't such  perv, Jarvis, she'd pick up.

1. The Replacements - Answering Machine

Raw and beautiful, Paul Westerberg and co. at their best.
How do you say goodnight to an answering machine?




Leave your favourite after the bleep.

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