Snapshots #411: Songs About Minor Ailments

Various songs you might need to consult a doctor about... although they'll probably tell you to stop wasting their time... if you can even get past the receptionist.

15. Flatulent Camberwick Green resident and apocryphal cabin boy.  

The flatulent Camberwick Green resident would be Windy Miller. It's an urban legend though that Captain Pugwash had Roger The Cabin Boy in his crew.

Roger Miller - Lou's Got The Flu 

14. After The Funeral.

The Wake - Heartburn

13. Rebellious Jews.

Check your history books.

The Maccabees - Sore Throat

12. They do not own a copy of that George Michael single.

They are without a copy of Faith.

Faithless - Insomnia

11. Man with the News: Tickling the ivories leads to the Cure.

Huey Lewis was the man with The News. Robert Smith has The Cure.

Huey 'Piano' Smith - Rockin' Pneumonia And The Boogie Woogie Flu Pt. 1

10. I've a mind to let this group make my decisions for me.

A Hive Mind?

The Hives - Constipation

9. ET's friend in a box likes to take long walks with Blind Boy Grunt.

ET's friend was Elliot. Jack in a box. Long walks would be rambling. Blind Boy Grunt was another alias of Robert Zimmerman.

Ramblin' Jack Elliott & Bob Dylan - Acne

8. The entirety & the whole shebang.

Everything Everything - Cough Cough

7. Sue Pollard and tough guy Marvin.

Sue Pollard was Peggy. Lee Marvin was the tough guy.

Peggy Lee - Fever

6. "I'm listening" to the catchiest part of the song.

"I'm listening," was the catchphrase of Dr. Frazier Crane. The catchiest part of the song is usually the chorus.

Frazier Chorus - Born With A Headache 

5. Sodding Teri has me all over the place.

"Sodding Teri" was an anagram.

Otis Redding - I'm Sick Y'All

4. Goes with Delaney & The Creator.

Delaney & Bonnie... Tyler The Creator.

Bonnie Tyler - It's A Heartache

3. A bumpy journey through space.

Cosmic Rough Riders - The Pain Inside

2. Two thousand.

CC are the Roman Numerals for 200. Multiply that by 10.

10cc - You've Got A Cold

At a pinch, you might have had...

Graham Gouldman - Sunburn

1.Found inside notorious dynamos.

NoTORIous dynAMOS.

Tori Amos - Caught A Light Sneeze

Get well soon - hopefully you'll be back to full health by next Saturday, in time for more of this nonsense.

Saturday Snapshots #146 - The Answers

Say hello to my little friend... this week's answers!



10. Restless atheists.

Faithless - Insomnia

9. Too much temptation... time to grow up, lady.

Urge Overkill - Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon

8. Monks found of the streets of Carlisle (etc.)... with bills to pay.

Panic on the streets of Carlisle... Dublin, Dundee, Humberside.

The Panic Brothers - In Debt

7. Western cop compresses heavy rain while boogieing in Birmingham.

A western cop is a Marshall.

Heavy rain compressed = Hain.

Marshall Hain - Dancing In The City

I actually thought Marshall Hain was one person until I did this post. Not Julian Marshall & Kit Hain.

6. Blue bird yanks you towards it.

Blue Jay. Americans = Yanks.

Jay & The Americans - Come A Little Bit Closer

5. This tidy cook adores candy.

A neater baker. There is only one clue worthy of the name Anita.

Anita Baker - Sweet Love

4. Nixon vs. paracetamol; article found between Dave & Fred.

Nixon started The War On Drugs.

Dave & Fred sang Under Pressure. Put an article (the) in the middle of that...

The War On Drugs - Under The Pressure

3. Children like dragonflies and WASPs.

Children are offspring.

Dragonflies are pretty. WASPs are white guys.

They didn't have Ice Cube, so he bought Vanilla Ice...

The Offspring - Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)

2. Edward Mordrake had two: both voted Remain.

Edward Mordrake was The Man With Two Faces.

The Faces - Stay With Me

1. 50 lira found in posh boarding school... Wayne Sleep.

The school was Eton, with an L in it from either Lira or 50 (Roman Numerals).

Wayne Sleep is a tiny dancer.




Feel the Heat again next Saturday morning...

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #44: Sleep Well

I am not envious of my son for the world he will have to grow up in. I don't secretly wish to be as young as him and have it all in front of me again. I'm not even jealous of his innocence... but I regret he'll lose it soon enough.

The one thing I do envy him for though is his ability to sleep through the night, undisturbed, in any position he nods off in... without waking up stiff and grumpy, or tossing and turning, trying to find a position that's even remotely comfortable.

A quick google search under "sleep anywhere" will reveal hundreds of pictures that prove children (and cats, it seems) can sleep anywhere... and oh, how I wish that I could too.

I usually start the night on my back, but often wake myself up within an hour or so snoring. So I move onto my side, but need a pillow to raise my upper arm or I'll soon be waking again with pins and needles or a completely dead arm... one of those horrible floppy ones that feels like you've got a huge lump of Playdough hanging from your shoulder. Then I need a smaller cushion, or at least a bit of the duvet, between my knees, which have somehow become too bony to just lie together like they did for the first 30+ years of my life without complaint. And that's before I even start on the hip and lower back pain that wakes me most mornings around 5 and screeches with laughter at the idea that I'll be able to grab another hour without reaching for the Paracetamol.

How do you sleep?

I was going to choose a cool, hip blogger song to accompany this post, honest. I honestly considered all of these fine tracks...

Ballboy - Where Do The Nights Of Sleep Go To When They Do Not Come To Me?

The Silver Seas - Another Bad Night's Sleep

The Numbers - I Can't Sleep At Night

Spearmint - I Can't Sleep

Or even this, the really obvious one...

Faithless - Insomnia 

But as I lay awake at 3.15am, choosing music that will bring comfort to my churning mind, I often end up been drawn back to the songs of my youth. Hence this, from the time went TV stations around the world played the National Anthem every night before they went off air... which in itself seems like a lifetime ago...

My Top Ten Stephen King Songs

My favourite writer has inspired, and been inspired by, all kinds of interesting songs... here's a few that share a title with the greatest hits of Stephen King's back catalogue.

By the way, I already did a Top 10 Misery Songs back on the old blog. Search that one out for Kathy Bates and her sledgehammer. 


10. James - The Shining

Stephen King stole the title of The Shining from Lennon's Instant Karma ("We all shine on...") James stole the title from King, as did Badly Drawn Boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

9. Murder By Death - Holy Lord, Shawshank Redemption Is Such A Good Movie

No idea why they decided to call this track what they did, since its only lyrics are...

You're all the way over there but we can dance to your music from here.

...but nevertheless, points for the title.

8. The Ramones - Pet Sematary

The first King novel I read, back when I was only 14, and the one that got me hooked. This track was written for the less-than-great movie adaptation by a past-their-prime Ramones. Still. You take what you can get.

7. Bob Dylan - From A Buick 6

Despite his love of music, this is one of the few King novels to steal its title wholesale from a rock 'n' roll song. But if you're gonna steal, you might as well steal from Saint Bob. Everyone else does.

6. Cliff Richard - Carrie

The first, but I'm sorry to say, probably not the last time Sir Cliff will find his way onto this blog. I have a shameless soft spot for his mid-70s output... though I'm sure he'd be horrified at the suggestion that his song might have any connection to King's pig-blood drenched heroine.

5. Faithless - Insomnia

I can't get no sleep

Serves you right for reading SK just before bed, Maxi. 

4. House Of Love - Christine

I'm sure the Christine in question had very little in common with King's killer car... but this is a cracker nevertheless.

3. The Prodigy - Firestarter

Backstage at the V96 Festival, a mate of mine pulled Keith from The Prodigy round on a child's ride-on tractor.

Firestarter isn't one of King's best novels, but the movie adaptation was better than some. Good cast, at least, including Drew Barrymore, David Keith, Martin Sheen, George C. Scott and Heather Locklear (who was contractually obliged to appear because it was 1984).

2. Ben E. King - Stand By Me

The movie of the same name was adapted from King's novella 'The Body', so he didn't steal the title of Ben E. King's classic soul heartwrencher himself. But it was a perfect fit.

1. The Alarm - The Stand

Directly inspired by King's magnum opus.

Oh I have been out searching 
With the black book in my hand 
And I've looked between the lines that lie on the pages that I tread 
I met the walking dude, religious, in his worn down cowboy boots 
And he walked liked no man on earth 
I swear he had no name 
I swear he had no name 

Got a favourite song with the same title as a Stephen King book? Celine Dion's Tommyknockers, perhaps? Share it with the class...