Snapshots #185: A Top Ten Spider Songs

For a Top Ten Spider Songs, here's three Spider-Men. Rumour has it they may all appear together in the same film at the end of this year. That probably won't mean much to you, but to me it'll be like all my Christmases come at once.

Anyway, some web-spinning songs...

10. Not the French band.

Last week we featured the French band Space. This is the Liverpudlian band who stole their name.

Space - Spiders

9. The front of the ship, that is.

I.E. the bow.

You could have had this...

David Bowie - Glass Spider

But really I was thinking of this...

David Bowie - Ziggy Stardust... and The Spiders From Mars

8. Could be Jack's victims?

Jack was a Giant Killer.

They Might Be Giants - Spider!

7. Join teeth: yow!

Anagram!

Tony Joe White - Stud Spider

6. The sound of Queen's motorbike.

Freddie Mercury's bike goes REV!

Mercury Rev - Spiders & Flies

5. Heaven wouldn't, but...

...hell wood.

(That's Jim White, Johnny Dowd and Willie B, Americana fans.)

Hellwood - Spider In The Bed

4. Heard by Horton.

The Who - Boris The Spider

3. Short gambler makes you go Euurrrghh!

Kenny Rogers was The Gambler. Shortened, he's Ken... and he's ickie!

Kenickie - Scared Of Spiders

2. Place for exercise, halfway between Stoke and Wolverhampton.

Halfway between Stoke and Wolverhampton is Stafford.

Jim Stafford - Spiders And Snakes

1. Muddled moaners.

Moaners, muddled up, gives you Ramones.

More Snapshots swing into to town next Saturday.

Saturday Snapshots #91 - The Answers

There are those who believe that Saturday Snapshots was Made In Heaven and that I Was Born To Love You. Others prefer to think of me as Mr. Bad Guy for turning your Saturday mornings into a head-scratching hell. One way or another, I'm a Great Pretender.

Went to see The Book Of Mormon yesterday so no time for extended commentary today (i.e last night), but congratulations to all of you for some excellent deductive guesswork (particular on songs / artists you'd never heard of) and well done to Charity Chic for the win. 

Here come the answers: Let's Turn It On!


10. Munster lost in Frank Herbert novel hopes to make your acquaintance shortly.

Herman Munster.

Frank Herbert wrote Dune.

Herman Dune - I Wish That I Could See You Soon

Great fun that. If you've never heard it before, give it a spin.

9. English folk-dancer and former Take Thatter both voted Remain. It's in the stars!

Morris dancers.

Robbie Williams.

The Zodiac is in the stars.

Remain = Stay.

Maurice Williams & The Zodiacs - Stay

Nobody puts Baby in the corner.

8. A small number of brunettes & redheads quote Marvin Gaye... but not in the title!

Marvin Gaye sang What's Going On? That's the chorus of this tune... but not the title, strangely. Apparently they didn't want to confuse people. I'm confused.

4 Non-Blondes - What's Up?

7. Opposing currents ascend slowly.

Alternating Current opposes Direct Current.

AC/DC - It's A Long Way To The Top (If You Want To Rock & Roll)

Tough to find a photo of AC/DC without Angus wearing his giveaway school uniform.

6. Penalty for juvenile maneaters: get Cash back!

Young cannibals should be fined.

Fine Young Cannibals - Johnny, Come Home

What is wrong 

In my life

That I must get drunk

Every night?

Reminds me of my twenties.

5. Tilting at your braincells, a festive George.

Tilting at windmills, like Don Quixote.

Noel Harrison - Windmills Of Your Mind

4. Hi ho Silver meets a devout nun in the dark.

"Hi ho, Silver!" is what the Lone Ranger shouted.

In the dark, he might be The Night Ranger.

Night Ranger - Sister Christian

Video of the week.

3. Mixed-up loser Liz makes it to Number One.

Loser Liz mixed up (as an anagram) = Rezillos.

The Rezillos - Top of the Pops

2. Greased heartthrob meets Clint's lucky alpha male. 

Kenickie was a heart-throb in Grease.

Clint asked, "You feeling lucky, punk?" Add alpha to that and you get...

Kenickie - Punka

1. Kinks first roofers mixed up about landing tomorrow a.m.

Two anagrams in the same week? Sorry. You try coming up with a clue for Kris Kristofferson!

Pre-beard pic might have delayed the recognition for ten seconds or so.

There Must Be More To Life Than This... but Snapshots will be back again next Saturday anyway.

Hot 100 #60

A couple of fine 90s / 00s indie bands illustrate our feature this week as we reach one of those number with loads of great options...

Walter opened proceedings with this cheery lyrical offering from the Manics - Nostalgic Pushead…

One two three four five six seven eight

I am the raping sunglass gaze

Of sweating man and escort agencies

60's alienation the anthem of care

Bet you feel better about your day already.

Next came The Swede who suggested a bit of early Elton John (can't go wrong with early Elton John):

Elton John - Sixty Years On

The Swede also reminded us of a song that got a mention last week due to one of its b-sides…

Sixty Minute Man' by Billy Ward & The Dominoes

That's another of those song that claims to be the first rock 'n' roll record ever (there are hundreds of them). Brian seconded The Swede's suggestion... and Alyson thirded it. But I swore no more peer pressure this week.

The Swede also directed us back to the aforementioned Bonnie Prince Billy' cover... "or preferably the first version I ever heard of the song by The Trammps - discotastic!" I'll throw in this country version by Roberta Lee & Hardrock Gunter from my own collection. I'm sure there are many more. (You may prefer Rigid Digit's suggestion of Ivor Biggun's version... or maybe not.)

Finally, The Swede wondered, "lyrically, how about 'Glam Racket' by The Fall?"

You post out sixty-page computer printouts on the end of forests,

All the above will come back to you and confirm you as a damn pest

Great opening line to that one too. If Mark E. Smith tells you to stop eating all that chocolate... well, I reckon it's time to start the diet.

Lynchie was up next, with one of those songs that just keeps giving to this feature...

The Incredible String Band - Way Back in the 1960s

(I'm gonna have to use that as a Grumpy Old Man song very soon.)

And then this bluesy gem...

Jimmy Reed - Where Can You Be

Ev'ry 60 seconds, of ev'ry minute
Ev'ry 60 minutes, of the hour
Ev'ry twenty-four hours of the day
I just sit a-round an' pray.

Jim then sent us these two suggestions, all the way from Dubai...

Audio Deluxe - 60 Seconds

Tight Fit - Back to the 60s

(Guess which of those I preferred. I know. I need to get a life.)

And then Jim remembered this old favourite, getting its second mention on this feature... with a third still to come...

Bow Wow Wow - C30 C60 C90 Go!

From Dubai to Canada next, welcoming new player Douglas McLaren, who hit the ground running with these fine suggestions...

As a Canadian, may I suggest Gowan - 60 Second Nightmare?

Ah, gowan then. (See what I did there?)

Or to dig into lyrics, my Scottish heritage prompts me to suggest

Fairground Attraction - Mystery Train.

Train arrive, sixty minutes gone
Whoo-ooh train arrive, sixty minutes gone
Well I ain't seen my baby, he's been gone so long

We're always ready for a bit of Eddi round these parts. Thanks, Douglas.

Alyson then came back with two more...

60 Miles An Hour by New Order and Sixty Mile Smile by 3 Colours Red, the first of which breaks my No New Order rule, while the second reminded me how much I liked 3 Colours Red for about 5 minutes back in the day.

Once Rol's No New Order rule had been broken, it seems only right that Rigid Digit comes along to break Rol's other big rule... No U2.

U2 - Sixty Seconds In Kingdom Come

More of Bono's God Complex there, if you ask me.

Much more palatable was RD's second suggestion...

Bruce Springsteen - The Rising

How far I've gone, how high I've climbed
On my backs a sixty pound stone
On my shoulder a half mile of line

Finally from you guys this week, Martin got very excited...

Wahey, I get to pitch a song by The Vapors - 60 Second Interval (live, studio).

That would have been one of my suggestions, but not the winner... because a quick trawl through my own music library produced loads of contenders...

Kenickie - 60s Bitch

The Dead Weather - 60 Feet Tall

America - 1960

Jeff Rosenstock - Pietro, 60 Years Old (Could have been one of my < 40 Seconds Songs)

Neil Young - Crime In The City (Sixty To Zero, Pt 1)

Black Box Recorder - Jackie 60

Rose McDowell - Sixty Cowboys

My Top Three for this week though goes like this...

3. The Indelicates - Julia, We Don't Live In The 60s

"We've never had it so good!"

2. Death Cab For Cutie - 60 & Punk

Already featured here as one of my 2018 contenders.

This week's winner was chosen as a rebuttal to all those many, many posts I write about growing older, sharing my Mid-Life Crisis with you all. It might also cheer up those of you who are a good few years older than me... or perhaps not, if you listen too closely.

Nils Lofgren - 60 Is The New 18



There's an obvious winner for next week in my head... and a less obvious runner-up. I'll be interested to see what you can come up with for 59 though...

My Top Ten 5am Songs

So there I was, just a few weeks back, complaining about having to get up at 6am. I should have remembered that in the summer, when the wood pigeon outside my bedroom window gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning, 6am is a lie in...

Here's ten bleary-eyed tunes to celebrate the light mornings.



10. Blur - Tracy Jacks

As with much of Parklife-era Blur, I loved Tracy Jacks at the time... but I find Damon's barking gets on my nerves these days. Still, for the good old days, it's worth pointing out that Tracy left home at 5 o'clock in the morning. And the bits where Damon sings rather than shouting are still quite nice.

From the same era (but aging slight better), I also offer Kenickie - 5 a.m.

9. The Village People - Five O'Clock In The Morning

In the early 80s, even The Village People had to accept that disco was dead. Their new wave change of direction (minus their signature costumes and camp) was greeted by derision (yeah, I know the idea of The Village People being treated with derision is hard to grasp) with one critic commenting the album was "simply an embarrassment that never should have seen the light of day." I've not heard the rest of the record, but I do like this song. Which only goes to prove that critics are... and I am... The video is brilliant.

8. Charlotte Gainsbourg - 5:55

You'd never guess that Charlotte was Serge and Jane's daughter. Not from watching this video, anyway. No siree. Maybe there was a mix-up on the maternity ward.

Sarcasm aside, you can pretty much imagine what she gets up to at 5:55. She's not doing the ironing.

Where do the French get their energy from? That's what I want to know.

7. Aphrodite's Child - Five O'Clock

Greek prog with Demis Roussos. I'll play this one for The Swede. Imagine A Whiter Shade Of Pale sung by the Go Compare man. And yet, I love it.

6. Mark Knopfler - 5.15 a.m.

Mark goes back to his Geordie roots. He will mostly be remembered as an axe-man. His lyrics deserve more attention.

The one armed bandit man Came north to fill his boots Came up from cockneyland
E-type jags and flashy suits Put your money in
Pull the levers Watch them spin Cash cows in all the pubs But he preferred the new nightclubs

5. Michelle Shocked - 5 am In Amsterdam

How does Michelle tell the time in the Netherlands? Listen to find out.

4. The Persuaders - A Thin Line Between Love & Hate

A soul classic which is also a hilarious tale of hell having no fury like a woman scorned. When he gets home at five, his lady is all sweetness and light, even offering to make him some toast. Cut to the next verse...

Here  am in the hospital
Bandaged from fee to head
In a state of shock
Just that much from being dead
Didn't think my woman would do something like this
Didn't think my girl had the nerve
Well, here I am
I guess actions speak louder than words...

Hitchcock would be happy with that twist.

3. Lily Allen - Who'd Have Known?

And this is why Lily Allen deserves to be mentioned in the same sentence as Kirsty MacColl.

My Top Ten: proud to have been irking the musos since before 2012.

2. Billy Bragg & Cara Tivey - She's Leaving Home

Apparently this was originally recorded by some obscure 60s combo: sadly I'm not enough of a muso to be familiar with their outfit and obviously their version couldn't have been as good as Billy and Cara's because it didn't even make the chart, unlike this smash hit Number One from 1988.

I'm sorry... Wet Wet Who?

1. Rialto - Monday Morning, 5.19

One of a clutch of classic Rialto singles from the Britpop era which has aged far better than Tracy Jacks. Heartbreaking too.




Which one sounds better than a 5am wood pigeon?