Snapshots #347: A Top Ten Tree Tunes

Ten tunes named after different types of trees. Did any remain a mys-tree?

10. French Maid caught in defensive dealings.

Joan was the Maid of Orleans. I'm unsure as to whether she ever traded her armour.

Joan Armatrading - Willow

9. Marconi holds it up, like Rod.

Marconi made the radio. Rod Argent told you to Hold Your Head Up.

Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees

8. To the point, in an apple meadow.

To be frank, he's in an i-field.

Frank Ifield - Angry At The Big Oak Tree

7. They're so blue.

If you'd asked me before I wrote this clue, I'd have said indigo was more purple than blue. Iffypedia tells me otherwise...

Indigo Girls - Cedar Tree

6. Heard on the Kid Jenson Show, and found in Dalek Management Journals. 

Heard on the Kid Jenson Show, and found in Dalek Management Journals. 

Jens Lekman - Maple Leaves

Or you could have...

Jens Lekman - The Cherry Trees Are Still In Blossom

5. Wish You Were Here, on the Wear?

Judith Chalmers presented Wish You Were Here? I'm not sure if she ever got to Durham...

Judith Durham - Olive Tree

4. He does everything he can.

That's a line from the song he was named after...

Dr. Robert - Sycamore Tree

3. Royalty for fences, now banned in the UK.

I only just discovered that creosote had been banned. Another icon of my youth banished. What next, asbestos?

King Creosote - I'm Up A Plum Tree 

2. Junior nags.

Foals are young horses. But you knew that.

Foals - Birch Tree

1. Discovered in Indiana, and within the Crossroads Motel. 

Indiana, and within the Crossroads Motel. 

Diana Ross - Theme From Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To?)

There were plenty more I could have gone with, some of which were a bit too obvious for you clever clogs...

Tony Orlando & Dawn - Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree

Glenn Miller - Don't Sit Under The Apple Tree

Fools Garden - Lemon Tree

The Black Crowes - Cypress Tree

Nick Cave - Lime Tree Arbour

Van Morrison - Redwood Tree

More Snapshots next Saturday.

My Top Ten Spy Songs

Last week, when Alyson revealed that she had 83 blog post ideas pending, I was forced to check my own drafts folder. I was ashamed to discover 345 posts waiting to be completed. Some of them are no more than a title and a couple of songs, others are drafts of posts I've already published (so they need deleting) and others I've been reluctant to tackle because I was finding it hard to narrow the list of songs down to just 10.

Well, I'm going to try and tackle a few of these over the summer, to see if I can cut my drafts down to a least... I dunno, 330? Let's start with ten songs about spies... with a special mention, of course, to the very first Billy Bragg album, Life's A Riot With Spy Vs. Spy, from which this is a superb way to kick off your recording career...



And now, onto the real spy songs. Be careful... they're watching you!


10. Coldplay - Spies

Oh no - he started with a Coldplay song! The horror.

Surely that first album's allowed though? Even in spy circles? 

9. T'Pau - Bridge of Spies

Quick, Rol, restore you cred after Coldplay!

Oh, forget it.

8. Jamo Thomas & His Party Brothers Orchestra - I Spy (For The FBI)

Phew! Cred saved. (Just.)

7. Was (Not Was) - Spy In The House Of Love

They didn't just walk dinosaurs, you know.

See also The Doors - The Spy (In The House Of Love)

And even Blue Öyster Cult - Spy In The House of Night.

6. King Creosote - Spystick

She's one of a dozen
Yet you've seen the state
Of the other eleven
So hold onto her
Stay focused
Don't let your eyes stray low
And watch her with interest
Keep the springtime at bay

5. Super Furry Animals - She's Got Spies

She's got spies and they're looking out for me
But it's not like the KGB, it's just a game we play
She's got hooks meant for catching fish at sea
And she's casting them out and about to catch me unaware

Some kind of kinky role play thing going on there.

4. Paul McCartney - Spies Like Us

Oh no! As if Coldplay wasn't bad enough... here's Macca taking the soundtrack dollar!

I loved this song back in 1985 though, even though I never really cared for the film.

3. Gene - Spy in the Clubs

That Martin Rossiter could be a bit creepy at times...

Honey are you listening?
I'll make you stay at home
Can't afford the risk
I want us to go on
As a sign of my love
I've a spy in the clubs
So I'll know if you go
I will know

...then again, he was probably just trying to keep his lady safe from this lot...

2. The Persuaders - Thigh Spy

You wouldn't get away with that nowadays, lads.

1. Pulp - I Spy

It has to be said that Pulp's ultimate Spying Song is Babies, in which Jarvis hides in the wardrobe of his mate's sister and spies on her until she discovers him. There are a couple more twists in that story.

But I Spy is pretty special too. And once again, only Jarvis Cocker could get away with lyrics like these...

And it's just like in the old days
I used to compose my own critical notices in my head
"The crowd gasp at Cocker's masterful control of the bicycle
Skilfully avoiding the dog turd next to the corner shop"

Imagining a blue plaque
Above the place I first ever touched a girl's chest

But hold on
You've got to wait for the best
You see, you should take me seriously

Very seriously indeed.

Cause I've been sleeping with your wife for the past sixteen weeks
Smoking your cigarettes
Drinking your brandy
Messing up the bed that you chose together

And in all that time I just wanted you to come home unexpectedly one afternoon
And catch us at it in the front room

You see I spy for a living
And I specialize in revenge
On taking the things I know will cause you pain
I can't help it
I was dragged up

My favorite parks are car parks
Grass is something you smoke
Birds are something you shag
Take your "Year in Provence" and shove it up your ass!

As mentioned earlier, I could easily have gone another ten of those. Which top secret tunes would you have included?

Kenny Wednesday #7: King Kenny

7. Kenny Anderson (a/k/a King Creosote)

I have to admit, when I started this Top Ten, I didn't immediately think of King Creosote. It took Charity Chic to give me a gentle reminder that his real name is Kenny Anderson. One of the reasons KC didn't immediately jump to mind is that he's been on my Get Round To Listening To Eventually pile for a while now. That pile's one step over from the Bottomless Wishlist Pile: it's for those artists I've actually got round to acquiring music by... just not got around to listening to yet. Am I the only one who does this? Acquire more music than it is humanly possible to consume? Is it a sickness? Why can't I set myself some ground rules: don't buy any new records until you've listened to all the ones you've not listened to yet? Would that be so hard?

The weird thing is, I actually own more songs by King Creosote than I do by Kenny Loggins, Kenny Wells and Gerard Kenny put together. Bloody hell - I better start listening to some of them.

Well, I've done just that. And they're pretty good. But as I've just discovered King Creosote has released over 40 records, it may take me a while to work my way through the rest. Thanks for that, CC.

I've chosen the following track because I have cats and first thing in the morning, when there's furballs on the kitchen table, urine on the floor and a very bad murder in the litter tray, I often want to jump on at them. Plus, it makes me smile. (The song, not the litter tray.)