Modern Life Is Rubbish #4: Teenage Lobotomy

We're having a training session tonight about the use of AI in education. Prior to that, I was sent a questionnaire probing my thoughts on the subject. The last question was, "What is one task you would like AI to help you with?" 

My answer?

"Making AI go away."

Gary Numan - Are 'Friends' Electric?

There was a big article in The Grauniad earlier this week in which academics relayed horror stories on the effect AI is already having on university education. You can read the whole thing, or if you can't handle the horror / your brain can't handle long-form information any more... here are a few choice quotes...

“I now talk about AI with my students not under the framework of cheating or academic honesty but in terms that are frankly existential,” said Dora Zhang, a literature professor at the University of California, Berkeley. “What is it doing to us as a species?”

Phoebe Bridgers - I Know The End

Michael Clune, a literature professor and novelist, said that, already, many students have been left “incapable of reading and analyzing, synthesizing data, all kinds of skills”. In a recent essay, he warned that colleges and universities rushing to embrace the technology were preparing to “self-lobotomize”.

The Ramones - Teenage Lobotomy

...several professors spoke about concerns that AI will exacerbate a widening divide in US higher education and that small numbers of elite students will have access to a more traditional, largely tech-free liberal arts education, while everyone else has a “degraded, soulless form of vocational training administered by AI instructors”.

REM - Losing My Religion

...when it comes to its impact on students, early studies point to potentially catastrophic effects on cognitive abilities and critical thinking skills.

Manic Street Preachers - Critical Thinking

I asked the AI Overlords, "How can we make AI go away?" and they responded with lots of suggestions about how to "reduce AI’s influence on daily life", "advocate for regulation" or "limit AI access to your data". 

Underneath all that, it added:

If you’re asking something deeper like:

“Can we stop the development of AI entirely?”

“Can society reverse the AI trend?”

…then the honest answer is: probably not, at least not completely. Once a technology is widespread globally, it behaves like the internet, electricity, or cars — we can regulate and restrict it, but we can’t make it disappear.

But you absolutely can control how much AI is part of your world, and even influence the broader conversation about its role in society.

So I'm writing this blog post. Because that's all I've got left.

People like to say that we're insane

But AI will reward us when it reigns

Pledge allegiance to the world's most powerful computer

Simulation: it's the future

What will it take to make you capitulate?

We appreciate power

We appreciate power

Elevate the human race, putting makeup on my face

We appreciate power

We appreciate power, power

The Enigma of CD87: Part 1

Thank you to everybody who chose a CD number for me to write about from the 174 I have created for our in-car entertainment since Sam was born. I will endeavour to look at each CD in turn, so we’ll start with Martin’s choice of CD87.

I’ve grown to enjoy this feature because it takes me back to the music blogging basics. And the randomness of it means I’ll write about things I might otherwise never get to comment on. I’ll try not to let the comments become too repetitive and find something interesting to say about all the songs that feature.

Let’s see how CD87 kicks off…

Track 1: Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers – Here Comes My Girl

Tom Petty crops up on these CDs with surprising frequency… or perhaps not surprising when you consider his songwriting philosophy of “"Don't bore us - get to the chorus!" Tom’s back catalogue of catchy FM rock songs are perfect for driving because they easily hook into the minds of casual listeners. But there’s a depth to his songwriting too, something that a lot of his peers can’t quite equal.

Here Comes My Girl was from the third Heartbreakers album, 1979’s Damn The Torpedoes, the one that really broke them in the US. Unlike the two singles that preceded it (Don’t Do Me Like That & Refugee), it didn’t crack the Top 40, but I guess it still racked up a lot of airplay at the time and kept the album in the public consciousness.

I like the fact that Petty talks / shouts the verses, then sings the chorus. It feels a bit bluesy in that – though iffypedia suggests he stole the idea from either Blondie or the Shangri-Las.

I didn’t get into Tom Petty until he released his first Greatest Hits compilation in 1993. Since then, he’s rarely been far from my speakers.

Track 2: The Manic Street Preachers - Australia

It might seem hard to believe now, but there was a time when the Manic Street Preachers were the biggest band in Britain. It started in '96 with the Everything Must Go album, which delivered four Top Ten hits in 1996. Australia was the last of these, but the fact that it still got to #7 in December (after 3rd single Kevin Carter only got to #9) shows that they were pretty much unstoppable back then. 

Of course, Oasis would soon eclipse them, but the fact that the Manics returned in '98 and went straight to Number One with the least radio-friendly track on the follow up (If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next) showed they weren't about to be cowed by the Manc knuckle-draggers.

Were the Manics Britpop? They appeared on the same compilations, but always seemed one step removed. They didn't specialise in kitchen sink dramas or 60s throwbacks like most of the Britpop gang. Instead, they combined 6th form poetry with Guns 'n' Roses riffs... doesn't sound too appealing when you put it like that, does it? But they made it work. 

Apparently Australia was written shortly after the disappearance of Richey Edwards. The lyrics express Nicky Wire's desire to get as far away from the pain that came from that as he possibly could. As always, James Dean Bradfield took those words and made them transcendent. That's the power of a good frontman, and James is one of the best.

Track 3: Lloyd Cole - Perfect Skin

Here Comes My Girl was the 12th Tom Petty song to make it onto one of these compilations. Australia was the 8th song by the Manics. By contrast, Perfect Skin was only the third Lloyd Cole song to feature... this despite the fact that Lloyd is one of my absolute favourite artists. I'm not making these CDs for myself though, and I knew Lloyd was going to be a hard sell for an under 10. There's some out there who would accuse Lloyd of writing the same 6th Form poetry the Manics do... but Lloyd is getting consistent As in his Literature mocks, Nicky Wire is happy with the occasional B. In contrast though, Lloyd isn't all about the big singalong pop hooks that the Manics manage to effortlessly weave into their singles, so it's hard to find the tunes for an audience that isn't going to obsess over the lyrics like I will. 

Perfect Skin was the first Lloyd Cole single to make the charts, back in 1984. He never set those charts afire, never got close to the Top Ten, because he never really tried to write a pop song. He was always too cool to bother trying any of that. Those of us who love him, love him for that. And maybe despite that. A reviewer in Record Mirror at the time of Perfect Skin's release wrote, "If Lou Reed had ever sung the lyrics to a spaghetti western, this would have been exactly how he'd have done it." Lloyd, on the other hand, admitted to being obsessed by 'Subterranean Homesick Blues' at the time, and the wordplay clearly owes a sizable debt to Mr. Zimmerman...

I choose my friends only far too well

I'm up on the pavement

They're all down in the cellar

With their government grants and my IQ

They brought me down to size

Academia blues

More of CD87 soon.

Another Day #1: Nothing Day

Teachers love their Awareness Days' Calendar. Black History Month. World Environment Day. International Literacy Day. There’s always something to build a lesson on if you go searching.

Along the way, I’ve come across some truly ridiculous awareness days… and so… you can guess the rest.

What better day to start than January 16^th? 

It's National Nothing Day!

National Nothing Day is an "un-event" created in 1972 by newspaper columnist Harold Pullman Coffin and observed in the United States annually on January 16 since 1973.

Its aim is “to provide Americans with one National Day when they can just sit without celebrating, observing or honouring anything”.

We need this day in the UK too!

Here are some sweets nothings to help us celebrate….

Sinéad O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U

Diana Ross & The Supremes - Nothing But Heartaches

A - Nothing

Lee Hazlewood & Lula - Nothing

Dire Straits - Money For Nothing

I Want My MTV… but not anymore, I guess. 

The Specials - Do Nothing

John Cooper Clarke - Nothing

Manic Street Preachers featuring Traci Lords – Little Baby Nothing

Gilbert O'Sullivan - Nothing Rhymed

Roddy Hart - Nothing Is Broken

Metallica - Nothing Else Matters

John Grant - All That School For Nothing

Gwen Guthrie - Ain't Nothing Goin' On But The Rent

The Donnas - Nothing to Do

Echo & The Bunnymen - Nothing Lasts Forever

The Decemberists - Everything I Try To Do, Nothing Seems To Turn Out Right

Bachman-Turner Overdrive - You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet

Let’s rock!

My Top 25 of 2025 #7

Almost done!

I thank you for your patience during this difficult time... year end countdowns can be such a drag, can't they?

6. Manic Street Preachers – Critical Thinking

The best Manics album in some time is a strange beast, because with one notable exception, the best song are sung by Nicky Wire, not James Dean Bradfield, and to quote Ben...

Not really a fan of [Nicky's] voice. I mean, when you've got JDB, why ever would you let anyone else sing?

Manic Street Preachers - Critical Thinking

I've been trying to work out why Nicky would choose to croak so many of these songs himself, rather than letting James be his proxy voice as his usually the case. Maybe James is finding a full concert of belting them out is starting to put a strain on his vocal chords, so the band want a few Nicky tracks in their catalogue to give him the occasional break?

Manic Street Preachers - Hiding in Plain Sight

Or maybe these were a particularly personal batch of Wire lyrics, and he felt the only way the band could do them justice was if he stepped up to the mic?

Manic Street Preachers - OneManMilitia

Whatever the reason, the songs that Nicky gives to James (still the majority of the album) don't feel as personal or as raw... they feel more like standard Manics songs... with that one notable exception...

I've written about Dear Stephen previously, and I probably said everything I had to say about it in that post, but it's still one of my songs of the year. And it's not the only time the band steer into Smiths territory on this record. You'll hear a very Johnny Marr guitar sound on this track too...

5. Pulp – More

I've also written before about the perils of impossibly high expectations... but here's a prime example.

The first Pulp album in 24 years was a record I'd only ever dreamed of. A little context here - every Pulp album from the1993 compilation Intro to their final, Scott Walker-produced, unappreciated epic, We Love Life in 2001 - every one of them was my album of the year.

Pulp - The Hymn of the North

'93, '94, '95, '98, '01 - five years, five albums, nothing to touch any of them. The penultimate disc, This Is Hardcore, is also my favourite record of the 90s. So you see what an impossible task Jarvis, Nick, Candida and Mark had set themself by making a new Pulp record? Was it always doomed to be an ever-so-slight disappointment?

Pulp - Grown Ups

The crazy thing is, More gives you everything you could ever want from a Pulp record, starting with a wonderfully Jarvisian confession about why they went away, and why they chose now to come back.

Something stopped me dead in my tracks

I was heading for disaster and then I turned back

I was wrestling with a coat hanger, can you guess who won?

The universe shrugged, shrugged then moved on

Not a shaman, or a showman, ashamed I was selling the rights

I took a breather and decided not to ruin my life

I was conforming to a cosmic design, I was playing to type

Until I walked back to the garden of earthly delight

I was born to perform

It's a calling

I exist to do this

Shouting and pointing

No one can ever understand it

And no one will ever have the last word

Because it's not something you could ever say

So swivel

Far more of the wit and wisdom of Mr. Cocker is to follow, including the usual meditations on sex, death, growing old, grubby backstreets and old girlfriends who might have been the one...

Pulp - Tina

They even threw in a genuine pop hit... or it would have been a hit, if they'd released it three decades ago, when they originally wrote it...

More then, is a truly great comeback record. It's everything you could want from a Pulp record, and only a Pulp fan who was a complete idiot wouldn't make it his album of the year... but clearly I was expecting More.

 

4. Craig Finn – Always Been

Craig Finn - Fletcher's

By contrast, it's much easier to write about the new Craig Finn album. The main man from The Hold Steady always places towards the top of my countdown for his superior storytelling skills, creating heartfelt vignettes of the people who fall through the cracks. Always Been is no different.

Craig Finn - Bethany

What does make this one different though is that this time Craig enlisted Adam Granduciel and The War On Drugs to be his producer / backing band with the clearly intent of making a big 80s-sounding L.A. record. And they succeed on every level, crafting an album that shimmers in the heat haze like The Boys of Summer... with that unmistakable Craig Finn voice shining through the smog. 

Craig Finn - Luke & Leanna

I've always found The War On Drugs to be a very frustrating band - being a child of 80s American rock, I love the sound they make... but they never seem to have anything to say lyrically, so their records rarely catch with me. Here though, they're working with one of the premier lyricists of their generation, and the result is pure magic.   

Only three more to go...

Self Help For Cynics #43: Family Fury

The Cranberries - Ode To My Family

A couple of years ago, I was in a charity shop with Sam. I was flicking through an uninspiring rack of CDs while Sam was looking at the kid’s books. When he found nothing to interest him, he came to get me – because I’m only allowed to stay in any shop as long as there’s something in it for him, after that we need to get out of there asap. When I didn’t immediately jump (there might have been an obscure CD by the Colourblind James Experience hiding in those final few CDs… that has happened to me before… once… it could happen again) Sam leant against a nearby shelving unit and demonstrated his boredom with a hefty sigh.

At this point, an elderly gentleman / fellow customer / Grumpy Old Bastard came storming over and shouted something at us both to the effect that if we weren’t careful, “that’s boy’s going to pull the whole shelf off the wall!” I turned, considered my response, then said to Sam – with a volume that turned heads across the shop – “Right, buddy, we’re going – we have to get as far away from this rude man as possible!”

Peter Gabriel - Family Snapshot

Afterwards, I did consider whether my reaction was setting the best example to my son, but frankly it’s not the first time Sam’s seen me lose my rag in a shop, and I doubt it will be the last. However, unlike more general frustrations about people blocking the aisle or pushing past me or spending ages reading the ingredients on a can of beans, this particular burst of rage was clearly triggered by the third letter in Dr. R. Douglas Fields’ angry acronym, LIFEMORTS. F… is for FAMILY.

Eels - I Want To Protect You

Now before you start thinking, yep, nothing more likely to get me wound up than certain members of my family… this isn’t about the anger we feel when our (pre-)teenage child ignores our wishes and does whatever the hell they want, specifically the thing we told them not to do. It’s not the anger we feel when our other half replaces the toilet roll so that the front sheet hangs down the back when any sane person in the world knows it should hang down the front – beard good, mullet bad! It’s not even the anger we feel when a previously level-headed sibling suddenly decides to stick flags up outside their house and starts telling us how that Nigel Farage has some quite interesting things to say, actually. 

Bennet - I Hate My Family

No, the Family trigger in LIFEMORTS is actually the complete opposite of all that. It’s the anger we feel when someone or something attacks, threatens or even insults someone in our family. Because our brains are genetically hardwired to protect those close to us. This is something scientists have noticed in many different species – often they characterise it as “maternal aggression”, where a female animal will act aggressively to protect its offspring from harm. But clearly it’s not just a female trait – mothers and fathers are both conditioned to keep their offspring safe. Not just from physical threat – but even from the threat of insult. (As to why we consider insult a threat, I refer you back to the last post in this series.) Scientists tell us that our brain does this because it’s fighting to preserve our genetic lineage. The survival instinct doesn’t just cover us as individuals, we also want to ensure “species survival”. 

Simon & Garfunkel - Save the Life of My Child

But I don’t think those are the only reasons we get angry when someone threatens our family. I think it also has a little to do with that key emotion science still has trouble with properly accounting for: love. And when it comes to a threat against our children… well, there’s no greater love. I was watching some TV show a while back – I wish I could remember what it was – and one of the characters said something about how all fathers secretly wish they could die to protect their child. The idea being that there would be no greater expression of paternal love. When I heard that – just a line in a TV show, nothing I can find any scientific research about – it connected with me. 

Marvin Gaye - Save The Children

The Family anger trigger isn’t just about parents and their children though. We feel a similar sensation whenever anyone in our immediate tribe is threatened. You may well have someone in your family circle who, in your opinion, is a complete dick. You may even have had occasion to tell them this to their face. And that’s fine. That’s just families. But if someone from outside your tribe upsets, attacks or insults them… you’ll probably still feel the urge to leap to their defence. Because our brains recognise that family units offer protection – safety in numbers, yeah, but numbers that are bonded together by blood or time or proximity… that’s even safer. This might even explain why people in abusive relationships might still feel the urge to protect their abusers from outside forces. And it definitely explains why otherwise non-aggressive kids get into fights at school because some big doofus has just insulted “your mum”. Or, as the wonderfully foul-mouthed Dr. Faith (remember her?) puts it…

“It’s the likely precursor for why we may hate everyone we are related to, but we still beat the shit out of anyone outside the family that messes with them.”

Wet Leg – UR Mum

How do we deal with this then? I’m not sure I’ve found an easy solution in my research other than the general piece of advice that always comes up when tackling our responses to emotion: recognise it, acknowledge it, understand it. So when that Grumpy Old Bastard came over and had a go at my son in the charity shop (while also casting aspersions on my own parenting), what I should have done is taken a step back – recognised that I was feeling anger because I saw this incident as a threat against my family and that my brain was conditioned to release the relevant stress hormones in a situation like this in order to facilitate a fight, flight, freeze or fawn response due to an ingrained, genetic predisposition to protect my child. And then I should have calmly assessed whether or not my reaction was valid or whether my brain was actually displaying an archaic evolutionary threat response which really wasn’t relevant in the modern world. And if I decided that to be the case, then the very best reply would probably have been to smile, defuse the situation with a vague apology for any unintentional upset caused, and carry on about my day.

Massive Attack ft. Tracey Thorn - Protection 

Or maybe I should have decked the old bastard, pushed him into the very furniture he was so desperate to “protect”. “Oh, look what you’ve done now – you’ve made a right mess of those shelves.” Hulk smash threats to Hulk’s people. F can stand for more than just Family.

Emergency Questions #13: Conspiracy Theory

The Higsons - Conspiracy

Another conversation starter from Richard Herring's book Emergency Questions...

Which conspiracy theory do you think might actually be true?

Rich thinks Paul McCartney really was replaced by a lookalike in the late 60s. You may well agree with him, but I'd argue that the replacement was far more interesting in that case.  

Wings - Live And Let Die

These days, conspiracy theories get rather a bad rep. I blame the internet and all the right-wing loonies who have ruined the good old conspiracy theory for everyone. I used to love a good conspiracy theory... nowadays, I'm more likely to keep that to myself in case people think I'm a Trump supporter.

The Black Crowes - A Conspiracy

Steve Earle - Conspiracy Theory

Jimmy Buffett - Peanut Butter Conspiracy

Peanut Butter Conspiracy - No Communication

But if I had to choose a conspiracy theory that I still feels needs further investigation... despite all the (redacted) files that have been released in the intervening years, I would go for the JFK assassination every time.

Lambchop - JFK

Lou Reed - The Day John Kennedy Died

Look, I know the Oliver Stone movie was a bit dubious in places, but there were still far more questions than answers. Do I really believe Lee Harvey Oswald was a lone gunman? What about the shots from the grassy knoll? Why did Jack Ruby kill him before he could be properly interrogated? 

The Fall - Oswald Defence Lawyer

Camper Van Beethoven - Jack Ruby

Snow Patrol - Last Ever Lone Gunman

Come on... the guy was a Patsy! Even the Manic Street Preachers think so...

What about you? Were the moon landings faked by Stanley Kubrick? What about the Roswell Incident? Was there something in David Icke's Lizard People rantings? Is the Illuminati controlling our every move? Go on, we're all friends here... 

Positive Songs For Negative Times #86: Bigmouth Strikes Again

Every time Morrissey speaks, I shudder.

You can't have failed to miss the latest desperate plea for attention from the deluded mind of the once great SPM, entitled A SOUL FOR SALE. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Sparks - Lighten Up, Morrissey

Where do you begin?

Any serious investors should make contact:

eaves7760@gmail.com

The Associates - Stephen, You're Really Something

Rol: I'm waiting for Morrissey's reply to my offer. £5.54 and a vegan pastie. Reckon I'm in with a shout.

Ben: I considered throwing a quid at him.

Ben: And a boiled egg sandwich.

Rol: Does a boiled egg sandwich trump a vegan pastie? Damn you for using your insider knowledge!

Ben: That's what they had to eat with him, wasn't it? I think I read an article a few years ago that he made them all eat only boiled egg sandwiches when they were touring the early years in the van. I think it was an interview with Rourke.And he was saying it smelt worse eating the sandwiches than the farts it would make them do.

Manic Street Preachers - Dear Stephen

The 'eaves' business email address has been switched off due to the colossal response to Morrissey's announcement of his wish to pass his "Smiths" interests over to an investor. Although Morrisseys' love for the songs of the Smiths era will never waver, he is tired of the disagreeable and vexatious characters involved in "The Smiths" business. After thirty-eight years of insults and abuse, Morrissey has had enough. All (or most) of the 'eaves' emails will be answered in time.

That's good. I await my reply.

In all seriousness though... those songs are priceless. Such a pity that the one man most desperate to tarnish their memory is their co-creator. 

Often, when I'm forced to discuss this subject, I end up quoting the lyrics to Rubber Ring...

The passing of time and all of its crimes

Is making me sad again

The passing of time and all of its sickening crimes

Is making me sad again

But don't forget the songs that made you cry

And the songs that saved your life

Yes, you're older now and you're a clever swine

But they were the only ones who ever stood by you

Today though, this one seems far more appropriate...

Madness in (formerly) great ones must no unwatched go.

 

Listening Post #30: Dear Stephen

You're still my bad habit

My dark little secret

My illicit unseen drug

My secret hidden love

There's a track on the new Manic Street Preachers album about Morrissey.

Dear Stephen, please come back to us

I believe in repentance and forgiveness

It's so easy to hate, it takes guts to be kind

To paraphrase one of your heartbreak lines

Songwriter Nicky Wire has gone to great pains in interviews to state that the song has nothing to do with Morrissey's controversial public persona these days, his nasty opinions that have driven away so many long-term fans.

I'm still ill, I'm cursed to stay

Under your spell for all my days

I'm still a prisoner to you and Larkin

Even as your history darkens

Wire claims, “The only moral judgement on this album tends to be about me...”

“The song is about many things and it’s multi-layered. It’s about me critically looking at my own reliance on the past – about why those years were so scorched onto me. It goes for a lot of people, to be honest, but being between 12 and 18, I don’t think I’ve ever shaken them off for the imprint they’ve had on my aesthetic appreciation of music, literature and film. It’s an investigation of that.

“The idea that I had this postcard off Morrissey as well that said, ‘Get well soon’ and I kept it, it was quite a worthless thing that I imbue with so much meaning. It’s about so many different things but mainly about not being able to get out of that, and the amazing comfort and joy it brings. It’s a love letter to my former self as much as it is everything else.”

Which is all very well, and I can see why Wire might want to tow this particular line in the press (particularly the NME), but it's blatantly obvious that there's another meaning to these lyrics, a meaning that goes beyond Wire's past and one that will touch the heart of lapsed Morrissey fans everywhere. Maybe not those who have cut him off completely, but those for whom his work meant so much in our earlier lives, that however we might want to hate the singer, we cannot hate the songs. I'm thinking of myself, of Martin, and of JC particularly here. 

The passing of time and all of its sickening crimes

Is making me sad again

But don't forget the songs that made you cry

And the songs that saved your life

Yes, you're older now and you're a clever swine

But they were the only ones who ever stood by you

The Smiths - Rubber Ring

Earlier on in my blogging career, I spent many hours trying to defend Morrissey's slow descent into fascism as a mis-reading of his intentions. I was wrong, and I've got to own that now. But I still can't let those songs go, those songs that meant so much to me, that spoke to me like nobody else's ever have...

Morrissey - I Have Forgiven Jesus

Yes, Nicky, songs are about many things and [they're] multi-layered. But this one is clearly saying what so many old Morrissey fans are thinking. Although the very fact that you steal a line from I Know It's Over suggests you know it's all just wishful thinking... too late, was the cry.

The Smiths - I Know It's Over

Still - thank you for writing it.

I've been the boy with the thorn in his side

I want you vivid in your prime

Dear Stephen, please come back to us

I believe in repentance and forgiveness

It's so easy to hate, it takes guts to be kind

To paraphrase one of your heartbreak lines

Snapshots #393: Natural Disasters In Song

Call the National Guard - this week's Snapshots has been a disaster!

15. A fetching skyline.

Bring Me The Horizon - Avalanche

14. Definitely not The Numbers!

They're not numbers - they're free men!

The Prisoners - Hurricane

13. Frankie in a submarine.

Frankie Valli goes deep...

Deap Valley - Drought

12. Shades of sadness.

Bluetones - Mudslide

11. Their story's seldom told.

"I am just a poor boy, though my story's seldom told..." is the opening line of The Boxer.

Boxer - Blizzard

10. Imprisoned businesswoman found in lad's navel.

Martha Stewart ended up in the nick. "Lad's navel" was an anagram...

Martha Reeves & The Vandellas - Heatwave

9. Stargazing tools.

The Telescopes - Tornado

8. This fishtank's in a right state!

State, as in United States...

American Aquarium - Wildfire

7. Important component in both telecaster and stratocaster guitars.

TeleCASTer and stratoCASTer...

Cast - Sandstorm

6. Lancaster con man invests in Lou Reed libretto.

Burt Lancaster played the religious con man Elmer Gantry. Lou Reed was in the Velvet Underground. A libretto is the words from an opera.

Elmer Gantry's Velvet Opera - Volcano

5. Luggage for a German Underground singer.

Still with the VU, that would be a Nico case...

Neko Case - Middle Cyclone 

4. Cook up some Manchester rat recipes.

"Manchester rat recipes" was an anagram...

Manic Street Preachers - Tsunami

3. How Travolta expressed his love for Cortinas.

John ❤︎ Ford.

John Hartford - California Earthquake

2. Bloodsuckers move across your eyeline.

Transvision Vamp - Landslide Of Love

1. Turn the terrible page...

"Terrible page" was an anagram...

Peter Gabriel - Here Comes The Flood

It'd be a disaster if you weren't back here next Saturday for more of this nonsense...

Snapshots #375: A Top 15 Songs About A Christmas Carol

Bah! Humbug!

Fifteen tunes dedicated to Ebeneezer Scrooge, and the cast of A Christmas Carol...

15. Himalayan utopias.

The Shangri Las - Past, Present & Future

That'll be the best song you hear today.

14. Mark Strange.

Mark Strange, as I'm sure you're all aware, is the current Primus (the presiding bishop) of the Scottish Episcopal Church.

Primus - Bob

This was as close as I could get to a song about Bob Cratchit.

13. Cloned man is an aberration.

"Cloned man" is an excellent anagram.

Don McLean - Marley's Song (Save Yourself)

12. Venus slippers?

Venus Slippers are a type of Orchid.

The Orchids - Mr. Scrooge

11. Shoemakers from Bromley.

Keston Cobbler's Club - Marley

10. Wendy, Etta, Tommy and Sonny get together.

The James Gang - Fred

Fred, as I'm sure you're all aware, was Scrooge's nephew.

9. Exciting times follow the commercials.

After the ads come...

The Ventures - Scrooge

8. Did Yves Saint make shampoo?

Laurent Garnier - Greed

7. Aussie woman known for doing one's drugs.

The Aussie woman would be a Sheila. This week's number one act were known for liking their E.

Sheila E - The Belle Of Saint Mark

Belle, as I'm sure you're all aware, was Scrooge's former fiancée.

6. A watery grave for bloke who upsets middle-class women of a certain age.

Greg Wallace is the scoundrel deserving of being buried in a Lake...

Greg Lake - Humbug

That's the B-side to a rather more well-known Christmas tune.

5. Shirley's Happy pal makes a lovely cake.

The Happy Days spin-off show featured Laverne & Shirley. A baker makes cakes.

Lavern Baker - Tiny Tim

4. Parenthetic Screamers (Mr Agana).

Parenthetic Screamers was an anagram... as was Mr Agana.

Manic Street Preachers - The Ghost Of Christmas

3. A superhero with the powers of Rigby, MacDonald and Winehouse.

Sounds like a job for Amy-Man!

Aimee Mann - Jacob Marley's Chain

2. Poor Cecelia, so befuddled.

"Poor Cecelia" was an anagram...

Alice Cooper - Make That Money (Scrooge's Song)

1. Sounds like Halifax Town.

Halifax Town, as I'm sure you're all aware, are also known as the Shay-Men.

The Shamen - Ebeneezer Good

A great philosopher once wrote: Naughty naughty, very naughty...

And to all, a good night.

More (less-seasonal) Snapshots next Saturday.

Snapshots Spillover - More Cryptozoological Songs

Damn it - I missed that conference. If I'd known about it before, I'd have been there like a shot. 

Cryptozoology is the study of animals that are legendary, extinct, or unknown, and whose existence is disputed or unsubstantiated. Not that anyone in their right mind would dispute Bigfoot or Nessie... but there are some crazy folk out there.

Here's a few more appropriate tunes...

Queen - Dragon Attack

That's Huey Morgan's favourite Queen song. He used to do a Radio 2 show in the middle of the night between Friday and Saturday that I always used to listen to (one of the last Radio 2 shows I bothered with) and he'd play that every other week.

Lalo Schiffrin - Enter The Dragon

Squirrel Nut Zippers - The Kraken

The Kraken was a famous many tentacled sea monster, who probably hung out with this (surprisingly popular) underwater cryptid...

Nick Cave - Leviathan

James - Leviathan

Manic Street Preachers - Leviathan

Edwyn Collins - Leviathan

Back onto dry land now for the scary prospect of a half-dragon, half-chicken hybrid...

Shearwater - Open Your Houses (Basilisk)

Even scarier - part-Lion, part-man, part-eagle, part-scorpion... it's the Manticore!

Momus - The Manticore

And next, we have a best straight out of the old testament, And next, we have a best straight out of the Old Testament, whose "bones are tubes of bronze, his limbs like bars of iron”... 

The Shadows of Night - The Behemoth

To be honest, I think I'd rather find a bunch of these guys at the bottom of my garden...

Lisa Germano - In The Land of the Fairies

Black Sabbath - Fairies Wear Boots

Magnetic Fields - I've Run Away To Join The Fairies

But I've saved the best till last today... well, it had to be, didn't it? 

From the album Loch'd & Loaded, of course...