Snapshots #424: Songs About Weights & Measures

Yesterday we had Emma Stone, today it's Sharon. Two Stones!

Here are a few more weights and measures... 

15. Wolfed me taco… but ended up feeling out of sorts.

"Wolfed me taco" was an anagram.

Fleetwood Mac – The Chain

14. Capital resident, eh?

The capital of Canada (where I've heard they say "eh" a lot) is Ottawa.

Ottowan - Hands Up

13. Dip a digit in the flour.

Powderfinger - The Metre

12. There’s nothing Large about the Little Tramp.

No L in Chaplin leaves us with...

Harry Chapin – 30,000 Pounds Of Bananas

11. Inventive mother, mostly.

Frank Zappa was a Mother of Invention. Most of Zappa is...

Zapp - More Bounce To The Ounce

10. Country Goth.

Goths wear black. He'd grow up to do the same...

Johnny Cash - Five Feet High & Rising

9. Bladdered bladder (for bile).

Bile is in the Gall bladder. So that gives us Gall on drunk. Or...

Gallon Drunk - Gallon Drunk

8. So long, Traitors.

So long, Marianne, said Leonard. Traitors fans will get the rest. (I don't watch it, but everyone else seems to.)

Marianne Faithfull - Full Fathom Five

7. City of Bulls and Bantams.

One for sports fans!

Bradford - A Pint Of Bitterness

6. Lazy gits.

Idles - Gram Rock

5. Red grave dug for extinct TV company.

Vanessa Redgrave & Carlton TV.

Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles

4. Greek Valhalla.

Elysian Fields - Black Acres

3. Met Jesus in the Wilderness.

Temptations - Papa Was A Rollin' Stone

2. Horse.

A Man Called...

Richard Harris - The Yard Went On Forever

I'll have some of what Jimmy Webb was smoking.

1. Inspiration for the original No Kings protests.

I understand the other dinosaurs were all up in arms about their tyrannical king...

Tyrannosaurus Rex - One Inch Rock

Oh, and in case you're wondering, I left this one out because it would have made the whole thing far too easy...

Tennessee Ernie Ford - Sixteen Tonnes

More of this nonsense next Saturday... will you measure up?

Teacher Songs #4: Season of Mists...

The Korgis - Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime

My first school teacher was Mrs. Kaye. She was a grand old dame, that's the only way to describe her. Posh, but lovely. Very theatrical. She wrote her own school plays, adapting Tom Sawyer, Charlie & The Chocolate Factory and The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe into scripts that could be performed by 8-10 year olds. I guess she saw some hidden talent in me as she cast me in major roles in the first two - Huckleberry Finn and Willy Wonka... though it was quite a come-down to only appear as Mr. Beaver in the latter. I've no idea what I'd done to deserve that.

The Rare Earth - Is Your Teacher Cool?

I've probably mentioned this before, but years later, when I decided I wanted to be a DJ and a couple of people at the radio station suggested that my Yorkshire accent was a little strong, I went back to Mrs. Kaye for elocution lessons. She'd retired by then, but was happy to get me to read Keats over and over, softening my vowels and slowing my inflection. I can't think about Mrs. Kaye without remembering those summer evenings in her conservatory, picturing ripe fruit, plump hazel shells and vines that round the thatch-eves run... the words from the poem somehow transforming her home into an idyllic country cottage, when it was probably anything but. 

Wide Boy Awake - Slang Teacher

Toyah - Elocution Lesson

Sleaford Mods - Elocution

Nat King Cole - The Rain In Spain

Celebrity Jukebox #132: Marianne Faithfull

The first song that popped into my head when I heard about the sad departure of Marianne Faithfull was this...

Leonard Cohen - So Long, Marianne

I don't know why: it's not even about her, is it? 

Ironically, on the day Marianne died, I featured Wild Horses, a song many people believe Mick Jagger wrote about her... though Mick denies it.

The Rolling Stones - Wild Horses

Before we get onto the songs most people will remember Marianne for, here are a few more lyrical nods...

And I don't mind the nights and the low light

We spin 'round like records in the apartment

You still remind me of Marianne Faithfull

Lookin' like a picture taken outta the sixties

Brian Fallon - Among Other Foolish Things 

Her first breath

Is drawn through a cigarette

Her first drink

Last night's scotch

Just to wet her cracked lips

She looks at the man beside her

Lying in the bed

She doesn't know his name

She only hopes he's not dead

She feels like

Marianne Faithfull

Marianne Faithfull

She hopes at the end of the day

Someone remembers her name

Art Bergmann - Remember Her Name

And, of course, you know you're a legend when you end up in a Half Man Half Biscuit song...

I saw a young professional couple playing Poohsticks on a Cotswold bridge

I watched them walk along the banks of the Windrush eating jasmine ice cream

Before heading north to Warwick Arts Centre and Marianne Faithfull

Splendid

Half Man Half Biscuit - Twydale's Lament 

Anyhow. The song that most of the obituaries want us to remember by is her timeless Stones cover...

Marianne Faithfull - As Tears Go By

There's no denying she made that song her own. 

For me though, it doesn't get any better than her performance of this Shel Silverstein classic. This is the one I'll remember her by.

 

So long, Marianne.

Hot 100 #37

Back after exam-related delays, we turn to Number 37 on our countdown, illustrated by an album cover that will throw the fear of god into many of our resident musos, but I couldn't find any decent bands with 37 in their names, so sorry about that. Here's the title track from the above album, along with a choice selection of the lyrics... which may well have me agreeing with the musos for once.

Train - California 37

It's all good 'cos I'm happy as a flea

On a mountain of dogs, you see

Sting would be jealous.

Onto your suggestions for #37, and Martin set the ball rolling this week...

How about We Do What We're Told (Milgram's 37) from So by Peter Gabriel?

Or, very different, 37 by DEVO, lamenting someone's enviably low IQ?

Perhaps 37 Push-Ups by Smog? I can only find this ropey live cover version, but you get the idea...

Lyrically, Femme Fatale by The Velvet Underground has the line You're put down in her book, you're number 37, have a look.

And, er, Volvo Cowgirl by Sheryl Crow has a line along the lines of 37 million's what Larry Parker got me...

Nearly forgot 37 Hours by Kristin Hersh.

That's enough, isn't it? More than I thought.

Can't complain about any of those, Martin. Peter Gabriel & Smog were both in consideration here.

(Rigid Digit seconded a couple of those.)

Lynchie was up next...

Ricky Nelson - Ain't Nothin' But Love

When you kiss her goodnight 37 times
That ain't nothin' but love

It might also be a bit annoying, Ricky... especially if she just wants to get in the house and watch Celebrity Love Island. Have some consideration, sir.

Jim in Dubai was next to arrive, with two very strong contenders from my own record collection...

The Beautiful South - Straight in at 37

Well, Simon le Bon stayed round my house before
And he was sick on the plants and he was sick on the floor
And he wouldn't go home until he'd sung his song
With a backing harmony from Paul Young

Grandaddy - Aisle Seat 37 D

Finally, in what proved to be rather a tough week, Alyson offered...

Tim McGraw - Number 37405

...to which I may as well respond with...

Squeeze - 853-5937

A couple more that were thrown up by my own hard-drive...

Car Seat Headrest - 1937 State Park

Jonny Cola & The A-Grades - Hideaway 37

However, I think we're all in agreement over what this week's winning song should be... even if there's some debate over which version is best. Lynchie recommended the Dr. Hook original while Charity Chic and Alyson preferred the Marianne Faithful cover. Alyson was correct in spotting that the track in question has already featured on this blog as one of my old Mid-Life Crisis Songs.

Here's both versions so you can decide amongst yourselves...



Three dozen next week. Suggestions, please!

My Top 90 Mid-Life Crisis Songs #6: Remember when 37 was middle-aged?

At the age of 37
She realised she'd never ride
Through Paris in a sports car
With the warm wind in her hair

The chorus of Dr. Hook's The Ballad of Lucy Jordon (sic) is surely one of the saddest collection of words ever set to music. The song was written by poet and country songwriter Shel Silverstein, telling of a tired and jaded housewife who puts her husband and kids ahead of her own freedom and happiness... to the point that she's either driven insane... or to suicide, depending on your reading of the song's final lines.

One person who thought Lucy ended up in the loony bin was Marianne Faithful, who covered the song in the late 70s. You may prefer her version, but for me it's too much a product of its time and the tinny synths spoil Faithful's otherwise powerful vocal performance. (That said, I prefer the heartbreak in Dennis Locorriere's own vocal... that guy always sounded like he was on the verge of a breakdown, even when he was trying to get Sylvia's mother to persuade her daughter to take his call.)

6. Dr. Hook - The Ballad of Lucy Jordon

This is a song about realising that your best years are behind you, and in the 70s, that came at age 37, apparently.

What's the new 37 then...?

My Top Ten Gluttony Songs (Seven Deadly Sins #2)

The Seven Deadly Sing Songs continues...

Gluttony comes second. As greed is third, and the two are somewhat intertwined, I've tried to draw a line between them. Chances are, if you don't hear it here, I saved it for the Greed Top Ten. Gluttony songs tended to be more about overdoing it...

Special mention to INXS, naturally. 


10. Toto Coelo - I Eat Cannibals

The 17th biggest selling single of 1983... in South Africa.

That seems pretty gluttonous to me.

9. Marianne Faithfull - Gluttony

Marianne tells the story of a model who loves to eat but signs a contract to stay slim...

There's no market for hippos in Philadelphia!

You'll have to take my word as youtube's never heard of it.

8. Ash - Palace of Excess

Dancing with the trustafarian girls...

Yes, I had to google "trustafarian". But it fits.

7. Motörhead - Eat The Rich

Get well soon, Lemmy!

Eat the Rich: there's only one thing they're good for
Eat the Rich: take one bite now - come back for more
Eat the Rich: don't stop me now I'm goin' crazy
Eat the Rich: that's my idea of a good time baby

Verges on the Greed Top Ten, but I chose to include it here.

6. Hey, Elastica! - Eat Your Heart Out

From 1982, in case you were thinking they were saying hello to Justine Frischmann.

See also Eat Your Heart Out by Dio which is also from the early 80s but might as well be from a different planet.

5. Art Brut - Just Desserts

Whenever Eddie gets hurt, he skips dinner and has a big dessert...

I know I should take better care of my health 
But when I'm down, vegetables don't help...

4. Jellyfish - Glutton of Sympathy

I know this probably gets boring, but I can't help it: this song is 20 years old.

Now I'm officially depressed.Not enough to eat a Jellyfish though.

3. Ben Folds - All U Can Eat

Son, look at all the people in this restaurant
What d'you think they weigh?
And out the window to the parking lot
At their SUVs taking all of the space

You know the sort of people he's singing about.

2. Peter Gabriel - Big Time  

Hi there! 

Peter overdoes it in every area of his life... his belly's getting bigger - and his bank account.

My parties have all the big names
And I greet them with the widest smile
Tell them how my life is one big adventure
And always they're amazed
When I show them round the house to my bed
I had it made like a mountain range
With a snow-white pillow for my big fat head
And my heaven will be a big heaven
And I will walk through the front door

1. Buckcherry - Gluttony

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Also: ROCKS.

From the new album Confessions which features a song for each of the 7 deadly sins. We may return to that at a later date. No promises. 



Please, sir, can you have some more?