Snapshots #329: A Top Ten Musical Death Threats

If you feel you've been affected by any song that has threatened your life or the life of someone you know, please call our helpine.

10. Tom calls Ricky about a mix up.

"Tom calls Ricky" is an anagram.

Kirsty MacColl - Can't Stop Killing You

9. What Hulk does.

Hulk Smash!

SMASH - (I Want To) Kill Somebody

8. Lightly slap the long eared bunny. 

Pat the hare.

Pat Hare - I'm Gonna Murder My Baby

Sadly, in December 1963, Pat Hare made this song a reality when he shot his girlfriend and a policeman who came to question him. He spent the last 16 years of his life in prison, where he formed the band Sounds Incarcerated.

7. Suicidal ideations.

They wanna die. But they want you to die first.

The Wannadies - Kill You

6. Inventive mother.

He was a Mother of Invention.

Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama

5. Getting bored with the hot weather?

Another Sunny Day - You Should All Be Murdered

4. Part of Marvin's hearing aid and a bit of a dick.

Marvin Heard It Through The Grapevine. Moby was a dick.

Moby Grape - Murder In My Heart For The Judge

3. That Peter Gabriel album is a Knock Out.

The Peter Gabriel album was So. It was KO.

Soko - I'll Kill Her

2. Find mayhem in Emmental cheese sandwich. 

...mayhem in Emmental cheese sandwich. 

Eminem - Kill You

1. Not suitable for vegetarians.

Meat Loaf - I'll Kill You If You Don't Come Back

If you survived this one, I'll see you back here next Saturday...

Snapshots #284: A Top Ten Grandparent Songs

It's my birthday today, but now that I've passed the half century, we don't celebrate them anymore.

It's also Mother's Day though, and my mum's a great grandma... as well as a great-grandma. 

Here are ten songs about grandparents...

10. Easy access acorns.

Squirrel Nut Zippers - Good Enough For Grandad

9. Bernau, Dessau, Weimar artists.

Three cities where you would find the Bauhaus school of art.

Bauhaus - Watch That Grandad Go

8. Mr. Pageboy in a muddle.

"Mr. Pageboy" was an anagram.

Moby Grape - Hey Grandma

7. Musical Miles, in the Mile High City.

John Miles made Music.

The Mile High City is Denver.

John Denver - Grandma's Feather Bed

6. Strong odour on the tracks.

There's a grand funk on the railroad.

Grand Funk Railroad - Look At Granny Run Run

5. What Billy keeps waiting for.

Billy is waiting for The Great Leap Forward.

The Great Leap Forward - My Grandfather’s Cluck

4. Mr. Owen / Anderson is finished.

Clive Owen / Anderson is done.

Clive Dunn - Grandad

And no, I couldn't bring myself to include the St. Winifred's School Choir. I do have some standards.

3. Mine king gets a peerage.

King Solomon had some mines. Burke's has a peerage.

Solomon Burke - Be Bop Grandma

2. What's new... and what's shakin'?

What's new, pussyCAT... and Shakin' Stevens =

Cat Stevens - Granny

1. It's Brew Hill!

Anagram!

Bill Withers - Grandma's Hands

More of this nonsense next Saturday.

Snapshots #257: A Top Ten Pronoun Songs

This is Ezra Furman. They have a new record out. It's pretty good. Not yet sure if it's as good as Transangelic Exodus, but I'll let you know. Ezra once said, "I am trying to figure out why I as a trans person don’t care about gendered pronouns, and so many people do. Why I’m fine with he/she/them and others have strong preferences." I can't answer that question for them. But I can answer these pronoun questions for you...

10. Careful - you can cut yourself on this number!

No, it's not Rocky Sharpe & The Replays.

It is a sharp number ten though.

Ten Sharp - You

9. This is what happens when your dating app freezes.

When Tinder sticks...

Tindersticks - Her

8. Does Liam Love It?

Liam Gallagher is partial to a bit of Lyle Lovett, apparently.

Gallagher & Lyle - We

7. Big Irish Dogs.

The Wolfhounds - Me

6. Reagan & Clinton, perhaps?

Ron & Bill - It

5. What Captain Kirk sings at Christmas.

It's a carol, Jim, but not as we know it.

Jim Carroll - Them

4. Richard Hall's wine producer.

Richard Hall is Moby. Grapes produce wine.

Moby Grape - He

3. Miner 7th.

Bit of a stretch this one, but it worked for me. Miners dig coal, and get very black doing so. The 7th day is...

Black Sabbath - I

2. Where Murdoch lives.

Rupert Murdoch presumably has multiple homes.

Rupert Holmes - Him

Until very recently, the only copy of this tune I had was transferred from a scratchy 7 inch I pulled out of a skip. Listening to the digital version now, it doesn't sound right without the crackles.

1. Zane's rural havoc.

Only one anagram this week? Shocking!

Charles Aznavour - She

You would be right to expect more next week. I will deliver. Unless they stop me.