Snapshots #230: A Top Ten "All The Way..." Songs

It's Sunday. Let's Carrey on with the answers to yesterday's Snapshots.

Ten songs that go All The Way...

10. Modestly morphing into someone else.

"Modestly morphing" was an anagram.

The Mighty Lemon Drops - All The Way

9. Questionnaire may contain the answers too. 

Questionnaire may contain the answers too. 

REM - All The Way To Reno (You're Gonna Be A Star)

8. When Homer mixes his drinks, he uses this to the measure the shots.

Simpson stirs a gill (measure of drinks).

Sturgill Simpson - Turtles All The Way Down

7. The King's wives.

The King only had one wife...

The Priscillas - (All The Way To) Holloway

6. Rippling berets.

Raspberry ripples on Raspberry berets.

The Raspberries - Go All The Way

5. I am Jordana Grant.

Anagram!

Joan Armatrading - All The Way From America

4. Graceful antelopes.

The Impalas - Sorry (I Ran All The Way Home)

3. Mulder & Rocky.

Fox Mulder & Sly Stallone.

Sly Fox - Let's Go All The Way

2. Formerly The Doc Thomas Group.

Then they changed their name to...

Mott The Hoople - All The Way From Memphis

1. Give him just a little more time.

The Chairmen of the Board sang Give Me Just A Little More Time.

The Chairman of the Board was...

Frank Sinatra - All The Way

Possibly my all time favourite Frank tune. His voice has never sounded better.

More next week. And in case I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening and good night! 

Saturday Snapshots #96 - The Answers

Saturday Snapshots... the final frontier.

These are the answers from our five year mission to boldly go...

What do you mean he's not a singer?

I can't get behind that.

"Always can do one more..."

Well done to Alyson for a clear victory this week, even stepping away to let others have a go. Thanks for playing, as always. Very quick answers this week because I have to assemble some more bloody IKEA furniture...


10. Interesting snooker player in sou'wester sacrifices his glory days to music.

Steve 'Interesting' Davis was the snooker player.

A sou'wester is a mac.

Mac Davis - Rock 'N Roll (I Gave You The Best Years Of My Life)

9. Curtly flat, Johnny Rotten & Poly Styrene compose a ballad.

Curtly flat is an anagram.

Tullycraft - The Punks Are Writing Love Songs

8. Menace to society complains about computers being left on overnight.

Public Enemy - Shut 'Em Down

7. Goes well with heels, pants and khaki suits (twice) but is often mistaken for somebody else.

In Uptown Top Ranking, all the above items of clothing are worn with Ting.

The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name

6. ☠ Zero chance of misery.

Poison - Nothin' But A Good Time

Charity Chic and Lynchie - proud to call themselves Poison fans.

5. Put together pieces in the stratosphere.

Jigsaw - Sky High

And thanks to CC, I just discovered Jigsaw's other "hit", Journey Into Space. Which is great, because it has almost the same tune as Sky High, with added moog effects.

The above photo couldn't help but remind me of Les McQueen...

4. Telephoto Thom in a muddle about junior Lebowskis.

Telephoto Thom is another anagram.

The Dude is Jeff Lebowski.

Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes

3. Louise pleads with her other half not to go to Texas.

Louise's partner was Thelma.

Thelma Houston - Don't Leave Me This Way

2. Successful conmen with cathode.

A cathode is electronic.

Successful conmen get away with it.

Electronic - Getting Away With It

Lyrics written by Neil Tennant, allegedly about Steven Patrick Morrissey.

1. Johnson's friend isn't bothered now.

Holly Johnson's buddy.

Now that's a pop song!


"I'd fight Shatner."

But once I'm done, I'll be back next week with another set of Snapshots.

Unless I get a better offer.

The United Kingdom of Song #25: Eton

Eton the town is far less famous than the private school that's based there, an upper class breeding ground of famous actors, politicians and pig-fanciers. Not many famous musicians attended Eton... it's not particularly rock n roll, is it? The only famous musical almunus I could find was Frank Turner... which might explain his rather odd political beliefs. No, he's not a Tory... but he's not really the lefty punk rock rebel you might expect either. He's a libertarian anarchist, apparently. He basically thinks we shouldn't have politicians at all... and in the current climate, I think quite a few people may be coming round to his way of thinking.

Anyway, here's a few songs that mention Eton...

The Monochrome Set - The Ruling Class

...which surely has one of the best opening verses ever...

My old man's a Viscount
And he wears a Viscount's crown
He buys me Cardin trousers
Of a tasteful shade of dark brown

And then goes on to add...

My old man's an Earl now
And he wears an ermine gown
He sends me an allowance
To spend in Eton town

Elbow - Usually Bright

The fella next to me up there
An Eton educated broker
The happiest man you'll ever meet
Sadly, I’m not even joking

Mott The Hoople - Pearl 'n' Roy

Now I'll tell you something
It seems like the rich dudes live in the sun
And if Eton be a democracy - well I'm gonna get me some

Idles - Never Fight A Man With A Perm

A heathen from Eton
On a bag of Michael Keaton!

And that's it. I can't think of any other Eton songs, can you?

What's that?

Oh... this one...?

Sup up your beer and collect your fags
There's a row going on down near slough
Get out your mat and pray to the west
I'll get out mine and pray for myself
Thought you were smart when you took them on
But you didn't take a peep in their artillery room
All that rugby puts hairs on your chest
What chance have you got against a tie and a crest?

Hot 100 #58

The Beta 58s welcome us to the latest number on our countdown... proof that punk isn't dead, but it hasn't grown any more braincells.

Straight on to your suggestions for this week...

C started the ball rolling, bringing back a band from last week...

You had Blondie for 59 - you can have them again for 58 with I'm On E:

I gave my car to a guy named Vinnie
I feel like gassin' my feet
They've totalled your bill and you skipped a beat
I used to have a car of my own
Twenty eight or fifty eight

That was the b-side of Denis, in case anybody was wondering. Wonder if it'll return in 30 weeks time?

Rigid Digit was on fire this week with 4 top suggestions...

1. Mott The Hoople - Born Late 58 (CC seconded this.)

2. Bruce Dickinson - Born In 58

 

3. Madness - Driving In My Car

 

I drove along the A45, I had her up to 58

 

What do you mean that was only 3 top suggestions? We'll come back to #4.

Then Lynchie joined us, asking...

I suppose 586 by New Order isn't acceptable?

And yes, you would be right. It's not acceptable. For all the reasons. Your second offering wasn't much better, although you did note that it was "a bit heavy on the guitar solo noodling side".

(The) Chicago (Transit Authority) - Poem 58

I'd still rather listen to that than New Order though. I will horrify many of you by saying I'd rather listen to If You Leave Me Now than New Order too. I'm sorry. Old scars run deep.

And while I'm in the business of horrifying you all... and comparing Mancunian icons with cheesy American rockers, here's two suggestions my music library threw up this week...

Morrissey - Munich Air Disaster 1958

 

Styx - AD 1958

New Order fans - feel free to tell me you'd rather listen to Styx. I won't be hurt.

Anyway, then C popped back to bring a little sanity back to proceedings...

Carcass by Siouxsie & The Banshees, of course!

Out of the frying pan
And into the fire
58th variety
Out of the frying pan
And into the fire
Mother had her son for tea

Yeah, there was a bit of sarcasm there, the idea that Siouxsie could restore sanity to anything.

The Swede was late this week, claiming "C got there before me" (not sure if that was Blondie or Siouxsie) "so all I can offer is Ronsard '58 by Serge Gainsbourg." That is actually in my record collection, though I'm worried I'll have to have it deported after Brexit.

All of which brings us to this week's winner, which was firsted by Rigid Digit and seconded by South West Correspondent. I have to admit, I haven't listened to The Bends in ages, so I'd forgotten how good this track was... it has a great opening line too! ("I get home from work and you're still standing in your dressing gown".)

The troubled words of a troubled mind

I try to understand what is eating you,

I try to stay awake but its 58 hours since I last slept with you

  

Next week is an easy win for me. I know exactly who the winning artist will be. Less easy to decide which song though...

Your suggestions, as always, will be gratefully received...

Hot 100 #69

If you're a music blogger, and you choose the records you write about because you think other people will think they're cool... and by extension that you are cool for liking them... then you are being a music blogger for the wrong reason. Go be a music journalist if you want people to think you're cool. Go work for the NME. (Well, what's left of it.) Some people - the ones who follow the crowd - may end up thinking you're cool. The rest of us will probably think you're a tool who occasionally gets it right, but... well, at least you'll be getting paid.

No, if you're a music blogger, you you never choose your songs because of what other people might think - about the songs or about you. You should just go ahead and pick the songs you like, write about them, and please yourself. Screw what anybody else thinks. The really cool people (not the NME journalists) will respect you for that, even if they don't agree with you.

Many fine (and cool) songs were suggested for the number 69. Here's a selection...

Serge Gainsbourge & Jane Birkin - 69 Année Erotique (The Swede)

(I quite like Bad Seed Mick Harvey's English translation too: 69 Erotic Year.)

Liz Phair - Go West (Yes, Swede, cold showers after often needed in this house following a bout of Liz Phair)

Stepping down off my platform shoes

Sixty-nine in the afternoon

And I'm waiting for someone in the know

Like Pirner tells me on the radio

Says "Take it from someone who's been there before,

You go west, young man."

The Vines - 1969 (Lynchie)

The Incredible String Band - Way Back In The 1960s (also Lynchie... but one I think we should save for another 9 weeks' time)

Mott The Hoople - Saturday Gigs (Rigid Digit's last hurrah with that one)

Sixty-nine was cheapo wine,

Have a good time,

What your sign

Float up to the Roundhouse

On a Sunday afternoon.

Stiff Little Fingers - 78 RPM (RD again, and the second mention for this one... although it could have been running for longer than The Hoople has)

Sixty-nine, it was fine

You say, but by seventy-nine it's gonna be mine

Iggy & The Stooges - 1969 (RD, C and Swiss Adam went for this... the cool choice!)

Sonic Youth - Death Valley '69 (C and Swiss Adam both going for the really cool choice)

Sandi Thom - I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair) (Alyson - I was going to say the "contemporary" choice, but then I realised this is 13 years old)

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

In seventy seven and sixty nine, revolution was in the air

David Holmes - 69 Police (Swiss Adam with another "contemporary" offering... from 18 years ago)

REM - Star 69 (C and Swiss Adam with my runner-up)

Oh, and of course, Charity Chic had to throw in a mention for this lot, who would have been at the top of the page were it not for my favourite Magnetic Fields album...

Other contenders from my own record collection included...

Booker T & The MGs - Soul Clap '69

Babes In Toyland - Sweet 69

Adam Ant - 1969 Again

Mouse & The Boys -- Xcedrin Headache #69 (not sure where that came from - some old psychedelia compilation)

The Fuzztones - Highway 69

Rick James - She Blew My Mind (69 Times)

Albert Collins - 69 Underpass Roadside Inn

...and... wait for it... wait for it...

Ministry - Psalm 69 (a godawful racket, but it makes me smile)

Phew - 69 appears to be an inextricably popular number with popular musicians. Go figure.

In the end though, I refer you all back to my opening paragraphs. There could only be one winner this week, even though I knew it wouldn't be a particularly popular choice in many quarters. It's a song I've written about before here and may even do so again. Sorry if you don't like it: your loss.

(Oh, and in case you're going to accuse me of choosing a year song when there were some fine non-year tracks I could have had instead... well, Bryan himself claims this song isn't about 1969 at all...)



68 next week, and an equally obvious choice for me. We'll see if you agree...

Hot 100 #70

This week's image is taken from "New York's leading 70s DANCE/DISCO/FUNK group performing to packed dance floors every week". Only a wedding band then, but from watching their corporate video, they seem pretty slick... and very appropriate for this week's edition of the Hot 100 Countdown as virtually all the songs I had - or that you suggested - were about 70s. In fact, the only ones that didn't were these from Jim in Dubai...

Simple Minds - 70 Cities As Love Brings The Fall

Yeah... nice try, Jim, but you've still not convinced me on Simple Minds.

A much more likely choice was this...

City Boy - 5705

...which is a great tune... but one I'll have to save for when I do the Hot 10,000 Countdown, I'm afraid.

The only other song I could think of that wasn't related to a year (or years) was this...

Brand New - Seventy Times Seven

...but despite being pretty good, it was disqualified on two fronts: firstly, it's really a song about 490; secondly, the lead singer disgraced himself recently. You can read about that elsewhere if you want to, but I have a friend whose favourite band was Brand New... and when all that came out, he took his albums down the charity shop.

The rest of this week's entries fall into two camps then - songs about the year 1970... and songs about the 70s decade. Let's start with the year... and get our token Mott The Hoople mention out of the way first thing...

In Seventy we all agreed
A King's Road flat was the place to be
'Cause Chelsea girls are the best in the world for company

Only one more week of that to go.

Rigid Digit also offered the obvious choice...

Iggy & The Stooges - 1970

...and I Feel Alright with that suggestion.

Others I had in mind...

Robin Hitchcock - 1970 In Aspic (if The Swede wasn't working so hard at the moment, I'm sure he'd have suggested this.)

Bastard Sons Of Johnny Cash - 1970 Monte Carlo

Ringo Starr - Early 1970... which, if you've never heard it, is definitely worth a listen as it tells you just how Ringo felt about the Beatles breaking up... and it's really quite touching.

Onto the 70s decade then...

Martin set the ball rolling with this... which was quickly seconded by Lynchie…

Mike Watt - Against The 70s

Never heard that before - and hence it's not in my record collection (yet) and can't win... but I like the sound of it.

The kids of today should defend themselves against the 70’s

It’s not reality, just someone else’s sentimentality
It won’t work for you

Baby boomers, selling you rumors of their history
Forcing youth away from the truth of what’s real today

Maybe so, Mike, but from where I sit, the 70s look like a pretty peachy place to be right now.

Other notable 70s tunes...

Something Happens - A 70s Wedding

Aberfeldy - 1970s

Cheap Trick - In The Street (That 70s Song)

Luke Haines - NY In The 70s (more from him later in the week)

Hall & Oates - 70s Scenario (from War Babies, the most mental Hall & Oates album, the one that Todd Rundgren produced)

This week's winner though was identified by Rigid Digit. One of my favourites from Mr. Harcourt... which I appreciate as a child of the 70s myself... although I'm a little older than Ed.

I was born the year punk broke
Days before the king was dead
It was the year of the snake
I was a red-faced child
Who stumbled where he tread
Was kept in orderly file
My parents name me Ed
I tried my hardest to smile

Can't we just skip 69 and go straight on to 68? No? Oh well, I guess I'll see you next week then for the inevitable... your suggestions are welcome regardless.

Hot 100 #71

The band SR-71 (named after a Lockheed fighter plane) have actually featured on this blog before as they recorded the original version of my favourite Bowling For Soup Song, 1985. They also had a couple other minor hits, most notably Right Now. Worth a listen if you like the early noughties American guitar band sound of Blink-182 et al.

Songwise, the number 71 proved much trickier for you guys. In fact, this is the closest this feature has yet got to...

Alyson tried her best with '71 I Think I'll Make A New World by the Magnetic Fields, from one of my favourite albums of last year, but as I may have mentioned when I began this feature many, many weeks ago, I'd ruled that album out; otherwise I could have featured one of its songs every week so far. Each track on the album is about one year in Stephin Merritt's life, so I could have chosen this glorious gem for '78 or this belter for '77 or this euphoric classic for '76... well, you get the picture. Time will sadly run out for this as an option come '66 Wonder Where I'm From, the opening track on 50 Song Memoir. Until then, you're welcome to suggest them even though technically they're disqualified.

The only other suggestion this week came from Rigid Digit - and yes, it was another one that could have satisfied multiple entries on this countdown: Saturday Gigs by Mott The Hoople...

In Seventy-one all the people come

Bust a few seats but it's just in fun

Take the Mick out of Top of the Pops

We play better than they do

That one's only got a couple more weeks to run too.

What else did I find lurking in my record collection for Number Seventy-One then?

The final track on the album Black Cadillac by Roseanne Cash is called 0:71. The record was written while Cash was dealing with the recent loss of her mother (Johnny's first wife, Vivian Liberto Cash Distin), stepmother (June) and father, but 0:71 isn't actually a song... it's 71 seconds of silence. One second for every year of Johnny's life. A cool tribute, but hardly a "song" I can choose to represent 71 in the Hot 100.

Fortunately, I didn't have to rely on it because I also found this, from the late Jason Molina's second band (his first was Songs: Ohia). Some nice, laidback Americana for a Tuesday morning...



Which brings us to 70. Hopefully there'll be less tumbleweed next week, though I still expect some Mott The Hoople...

Hot 100 #72

To illustrate this feature, I always try to find a band with that week's number in their name. It's not always possible, and most weeks I end up choosing a band I've never heard of. This week, however, here's an artist I actually own a couple of records by, the delightful JJ72. Where are they now, eh?

1972 was the year of my birth and so I've already done a Top Ten 1972 Songs. Well done to new commenter MisterPrime (unless it's someone else using an alias) for correctly identifying the top song in that list.

A couple more 1972 suggestions did trickle in this week though...

I think it may have been Mr. C who suggested this...

The Delegates - Convention '72

...which you really need to click on because you'll never have heard anything like it before. Unless you have.

Rigid Digit returned with this week's token lyrical mention of Saturday Gigs by Mott The Hoople, which I'm happy to keep mentioning for the next three weeks as it's great. However, RD didn't stop then with his Hoople...

Ballad of Mott the Hoople (26th March 1972, Zürich)

Anyone who thinks this band were Young Dudes needs to think again.

The Swede stayed lyrical with this...

Bob Dylan - Sitting on a Barbed Wire Fence

...which may well explain why he sings the way he does.

I paid fifteen million dollars, twelve hundred and seventy-two cents
I paid one thousand, two hundred twenty-seven dollars and fifty-five cents
To see my bulldog bite a rabbit
And my hound dog's just sittin' on a barbed-wire fence

Some confusion there also as to how much Bob actually paid. Seems rather a lot, whatever it was.

(Personally though, I think that song's just a riff.)

Furry Boots City Boy, The Artist Formerly Known As Lynchie, offered this pleasant little number...

NoFX - 72 Hookers

...which makes a... let's say "interesting"... suggestion about how to achieve world peace. I like the guitars though.

Onto the tracks I had shortlisted for this week, the first of which was suggested by nobody...

Drive-By Truckers - 72 (This Highway's Mean)

...further proof that American highways will continue to provide fodder for this series if all else fails.

Rigid Digit identified this week's runner-up, and I'd fully second his statement that, "there is so much more to this band than "Sit Down" - creators of consistently fine albums"...

James - 72

...although, to be fair, Tim isn't a million miles away from NoFX in that one.

It was down to Alyson to identify this week's winning song then - well done to her.



71 next week. Over to you...

My Top Ten High Street Retailer Songs Vol. 2

Following on from last week's post featuring songs about defunct retailers, I felt I had to do a post about the ones that are still going strong... well, as I type this, anyway.

No supermarkets are included in this list as I already did them.


10. Pet Shop Boys - Legacy

Can you ever imagine Neil Tennant setting foot in a Carphone Warehouse?

That Carphone Warehouse boy
Has been on the phone
He wants to upgrade
The mobile you own
Have you realised
Your computer's a spy?
Give him a ring
He'll explain why...
The bourgeoisie
Will get over it
Look at me
I'm SO over it!

9. Jeff Bridges - Ikea

For anyone who thinks William Shatner is the maddest actor to make records, may I present The Dude himself. He abides.

When I die there will be no burial or cremation.
I have contracted with spacementary.
To store my remains on board an eternal satellite.
My body will forever loop around the planet and omit a flashing light whenever it passes over a memorable location.
Like that bar at Roundel Beach where we first met.
Or IKEA.

See also Grandaddy - Elevate Myself...

I don't want to stare at stacks of paper all the while
While the world goes by
Tradin' out the weather for a clever lyric
Written by an IKEA light

8. Soft Cell - It's A Mug's Game

In which Marc has a very bad day. Can Boots help?

And you're standing at the chemist in Boots
Coughing up your guts like you're at deaths door
All this for a packet of Do-Do's
And the assistant gives you a wink and you turn bright red
It's at time like this that you wish you were dead
And you take the whole packet and you feel like you've drunk
A bottle of bleach
And you tell yourself 'Never, never again Well, not until next week anyway'

7. Carter USM - Stuff The Jubilee

They don't just sell fridges, they sell Carter USM records too. Well they did. Probably.

It's the last tango at the palace
Christopher goes down on Alice
A make-up girl from Selfridges
Unaccustomed to such privileges

Of His Majesty's secret services
The kind of secret services
Usually confined to circuses

Excuse my rudery
But stuff the jubilee!

6. Art Brut - Am I Normal?

Too long since Eddie Argos and his gang have featured here.

Another time I'd overheard you saying you were going into town
And at the time I lived right in between two towns, but I wasn't quite sure which one you meant
So I bought a bus pass, I went to both of them, and frantically looked for you everywhere
And when I finally saw you at WH Smith's, I got scared

Yeah. I've been there, Eddie.

5. Arctic Monkeys - Still Take You Home

Meanwhile, Alex has his eye on a girl from Topshop...

I fancy you with a passion
Oh, you're a Topshop princess, a rockstar, too
But you're a fad and you're a fashion
And I'm having a job trying to talk to you

See also Art Brut - Bad Weekend, their second entry this week for more Topshop shenanigans.

4. Belle & Sebastian - Expectations

It doesn't get much more kitchen sink than this... (Do Debenham's sell kitchen sinks?)

Monday morning, wake up knowing that you've got to go to school
Tell your mum what to expect, she says it's right out of the blue
Do you want to work in Debenham's because that's what they expect?
Start in Lingerie, and Doris is your supervisor

See also The Courteeners - Are You In Love With A Notion...

Run away from this godforsaken place
And hide away from everybody's prying face
You told Deborah that he is the one
You're going to quit Debenham's
Elope and get married in the sun

3. The Undertones - Mars Bar

If you really want a Mars Bar, Feargal suggests you raid the Spar. And I'm sure that by "raid" he means form an orderly queue and purchase it with your hard-earned money.

2. Half Man Half Biscuit - National Shite Day

Thanks to Rigid Digit for suggesting this last week, but believe me, it was already guaranteed a place. Boots and Primark also get a mention in this classic, but it's Millets who take the prize with one of the greatest lines ever written in a pop song. And yet they still gave Bob Dylan the Nobel Prize for Literature instead of Nigel Blackwell.

There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millet's 

Try saying that five times fast without your teeth in.

1. Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes

M&S started life as a market stall in Kirkgate Market, Leeds, not that far from me, way back in 1894. Since then, they've done all right for themselves... at least in term of getting noticed by songwriters.

I could have chosen any of the following (and there are probably more)...

Manic Street Preachers - Valley Boy

Here I am in Amsterdam
I like it here, they speak my language
Even though it's not my own
It's got BBC for comfort zone
And best of all, it's got Marks and Spencer's
Equality for the masses never felt better

Belle & Sebastian - The State I Am In

So I gave myself to God
There was a pregnant pause before he said okay
Now I spend my days turning tables round in Marks & Spencer
They don't seem to mind

John Lennon - Serve Yourself

Well, you may believe in Jesus, and you may believe in Marx
And you may believe in Marks and Spencer's and you maybe believe in bloody Woolworths
But there's something missing in this whole bloody stew

But really, there was only ever going to be one winner this week...

And Wendy's stealing clothes from Marks & Sparks
And Freddy's got spots from ripping off the stars from his face
Funky little boat race
Television man is crazy saying we're juvenile delinquent wrecks
Oh, man, I need TV, when I've got T.Rex

Although the version they played on the radio at the time made them change the lyric to "And Wendy's stealing clothes from unlocked cars" so as not to breach advertising regulations!


Anyone got a copy of Bob Dylan's tribute to TK Maxx? Do let me know...

Hot 100 #74

I think we'll call this week pretty much unanimous, shall we, and just spend the rest of the morning sat out in the garden?

With apologies to The Connells, who were cheated out of a place on the countdown for the second week running, and Mott The Hoople who had a great lyrical offering with Saturday Gigs... although, as Charity Chic pointed out, they can enter this song again for the next five weeks.

C was the first to suggest this week's winner, but she soon found support from Lynchie, Charity Chic, Rigid Digit and Alyson. I don't think any song has ever received so many votes on this feature, and while that wouldn't always sway the judge... I have to admit, Teenage Lament '74 may well be my favourite Alice Cooper song (although I do also have a soft spot for his cheesy 80s output).

Here's something you might not know about Teenage Lament '74. (I didn't, until now.) Who sings backing vocals?

Only Ronnie Spector, Labelle, the Pointer Sisters... and Liza Minnelli. No, I'm not making that up.

 

I ran into my room
And I fell down on my knees
Well, I thought that fifteen
Was gonna be a breeze
I picked up my guitar
To blast away the clouds
But somebody in the next room yelled
"You gotta turn that damned thing down!"
 

Will '73 be as easy to call? I doubt it. Your suggestions welcome...

My Top Ten Songs About Chuck Berry

After Tuesday's Top Ten Chuck Berry Songs, The Swede asked if there was any danger of a Volume 2. I'm sure this isn't quite what he meant, but hopefully it'll do...

It was inevitable Chuck would find his way into the lyrics of some of the musicians he influenced. Here are ten of the best Chuck references I could find...



10. Mott The Hoople - Honaloochie Boogie

Ian Hunter gets converted to rock 'n' roll...

Now my hair gets longer as the beat gets stronger
Wanna tell Chuck Berry my news
I get my kicks outta guitar licks
And I've sold my steel-toed shoes

9. Garland Jeffreys - Hail, Hail, Rock 'n' Roll

Jeffreys had been making music for over 20 years when a racist insult led him to record this track asking for a little acceptance, reminding the bigots that the black fathers of rock 'n' roll such as Chuck, Little Richard, Bo Diddley and Fats Domino paved the way for Elvis, Gene, Buddy and Jerry...

8. The Rainmakers - Downstream

Hey - remember the Rainmakers? Let My People Go-Go? Those guys. They didn't just have one record, you know.

Well, we're rounding St. Louis and heading for the coast
When we pick up Chuck Berry in a little rowboat
With one oar in the water and one in the air
A lightning rod for a white guitar
And lightning struck once, and lightning struck twice
And I said "If there's a God, He sure ain't nice"
And Chuck said "God is an Indian giver
I don't trust nothing but the Mississippi River"

7. Dar Williams - I Won't Be Your Yoko Ono

Obviously more a song about John Lennon than Chuck Berry ("I could sell your songs to Nike"), but Chuck does play a very important part...

When John called the wind an opera
Making love with every chakra
When he said her voice would carry
And when he whispered old Chuck Berry
Only then would Yoko set him free 

6. Tom Petty - My Life / Your World

Another top guitarist name-drops a tribute...

They came this mornin' with a dog on a chain
They came and took my little brother away
His generation never even got a name
My momma was a rocker way back in ´53
Buys them old records that they sell on T.V.
I know Chuck Berry wasn't singin' that to me

See also Christmas All Over Again, in which little Tom sends Santa his list...

Now let's see
I want a new Rickenbacker guitar
Two Fender Bassmans
A Chuck Berry song book
Xylophone

5. The Beach Boys - Do You Remember?

Brian Wilson remembers "the guys that gave us rock 'n' roll"... just a handful of years after it happened!

Chuck Berry's gotta be the greatest thing that's come along
He made the guitar beats and wrote the all-time greatest song...

I wonder which one he meant?

4. Amy Rigby - Don't Ever Change

Dar Williams and Amy Rigby in the same post... that's the power of Chuck Berry. Wreckless Eric fans, you'll find Mr. Rigby accompanying here too.

I saw my baby sitting there at the breakfast table
His hair a mess and he forgot to shave
And I wished that he would get up, make it all better
Stop drinking so much, learn how to behave
Then the radio was playing a Chuck Berry song
And he was looking at me asking what was wrong
I made a list of the things I could say
But he gave me a wink and it all went away, I told him
Hey I love you, you're perfect, don't ever change
Don't ever change

 First person to point out that Don't Ever Change was a Crickets song loses a point.

3. Richard Thompson - Guitar Heroes

The greatest guitarist I've ever seen play live is Richard Thompson. It was a solo show, but I swear it sounded like there were three of him. I've seen some amazing guitar players before and after, but nothing that quite matched RT.

Here he is showing his chops, playing tribute to some of his own guitar heroes... including Les Paul, Django Reinhardt, The Shadows and Chuck Berry. 

2. Jim Steinman - Love & Death & An American Guitar / Wasted Youth

Jim Steinman is, officially, as mad as ten lorries, so when I say to you that this spoken word story, first featured on his ill-fated solo album and then rechristened and reused many years later on Bat Out Of Hell II... when I say to you that this is Jim's greatest moment of pure insanity... that's saying something. Obviously inspired, in part, by Jim Morrison's lyrics to The End, this features Young Jim S. bashing the shit out of his guitar till it bleeds the colour of wild berries... yes, it's "Chuck Berry red"... before taking the poor guitar upstairs to his father's bedroom to bash the shit out of his old man.

The story doesn't end the way you expect.

1. ELO - Rockaria

Jeff falls for an opera singer....

She's sweet on WagnerI think she'd die for BeethovenShe loves the way Puccini lays down a tuneAnd Verdi's always creeping from her room

And she ain't gonna rock 'n' roll. How will he convert her?

Well we were reelin' and a rockin' all through the nightYeah, we were rockin' at the opera house until the break of lightAnd the orchestra were playin' all Chuck Berry's greatest tunes...

Roll over, Beethoven, indeed.





And that is why Chuck Berry will live forever.

My Top Ten Dude Songs

Can't believe I've never thought of doing this one before. Ten songs dedicated to The Dude... or his Dudeness... or Duder... or El Duderino, if you're not into that whole "brevity" thing. Because... he abides.


10. Adam Green - Hey Dude

Adam Green's lyrics often crack me up. No idea what he was smoking before he wrote this one though...

Bob Dylan was a vegetable's wife
Game over, hope you had a good life...

9.  Scatterbrain - Don't Call Me Dude

I don't know a lot about Scatterbrain and I've no idea where I first came across this track. Described by iffypedia as an "American thrash metal band", this is probably their most poppy and commercial number - a Top 20 hit in Australia back in 1990. They're a band with an obvious sense of humour... and that always wins my attention.

8. Sonic Youth - Dude Ranch Nurse

Let Kim Gordon give you a shot and take your pulse... it's something to do.

Taken from the 2004 album Sonic Nurse, this track was named after a piece by artist Richard Prince who also provided the album cover.

7. Curtis Mayfield - A Heavy Dude

If the first three seconds don't hook you, you ain't got no funk in your soul. And if Curtis whets your appetite for groovin'... try this:

6. Quincy Jones - The Dude

Who is it
That ain't got time for foolish talkin'?
Who is it
That looks so clean you can't ignore him?

Featuring Michael Jackson, James Ingram and Patti Austin on backing vocals, they don't get much dudier than this one!

I'm a stone cold taker,
I'm a piggy bank shaker,
An' I don't waste my time talkin' trash...
So if you go to my school,
You gotta learn this rule —
Don't let your mouth write a check
That your body can't cash!

5. Kula Shaker - Hey Dude

Poor old Crispian Mills, forever cursed to be known as Hayley's annoying Britpop son. Give Kula Shaker some credit, musicologists - they were far less derivative than Oasis! This is their biggest original hit (their only other Number 2 was a cover of Deep Purple's Hush) and it stands the test of time pretty well.

4. Steely Dan - Any Major Dude Will Tell You

The album this came from, Pretzel Logic, is currently on rotation in my car. Great driving music - keeps the road rage at bay... unless you find yourself face to face with a wild squonk along the way.

Have you ever seen a squonk's tears? Well, look at mine
The people on the street have all seen better times

A squonk, in case you're wondering, is a mythical Pennsylvanian creature that looks a little bit like a turd on legs (according to google images).

This song also gave its name to one of the greatest music blogs on the internet. If you've never paid that dude a visit, I recommend you do so immediately!

3. Aerosmith - Dude (Looks Like A Lady)

Originally titled 'Cruisin' For A Lady', Steven Tyler was persuaded to change the title by openly gay songwriter Desmond Child (Tyler thought it'd be offensive to the gay community, Child said 'bollocks' to that). Apparently the inspiration came when Tyler saw a hot blonde in a bar that he was about to hit on... until he realised it was Mötley Crüe vocalist Vince Neil...

Never judge a book by it's cover
Or who you gonna love by your lover
Sayin' love put me wise to her love in disguise
She had the body of a Venus,
Lord imagine my surprise!

Hey, take it as a compliment, Vince.

2. Creedence Clearwater Revival - Looking Out My Back Door

The Dude's own personal favourite (until his car is broken into and they steal his tape deck AND his Creedence); some may dispute its inclusion here since the "dudes" of the chorus are often interpreted as "doo doo doos". But after The Big Lebowski, it's impossible to hear it any other way. I really hope The Dude got his tape deck back. And his Creedence.

1. Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes

If anyone ever pauses to question the prolific genius of peak period Bowie, consider this: one of his best songs, and he happily gave it away to save the career of Mott The Hoople. ATYD begins with one of the most memorable guitar hooks in the history of rock before the triumphant end of the world as we know it lyrics kick in - but we feel fine. A rallying call for a generation that rejects the Beatles & Stones in favour of T-Rex, this had to be re-recorded for BBC airplay because Wendy stole her clothes from Marks & Sparks. (It was the advertising they didn't like, not the shoplifting.) Apparently there's a version where Wendy steels her clothes from unlocked cars... but I don't think I've ever heard that.



Those were my favourite Dude songs. Which one takes you bowling?

My Top Ten Songs About (The) Rolling Stones

As Mick Jagger turns 70 (and I already did My Top Ten Rolling Stones Songs), here's ten songs about Rolling Stones... and Stones that Roll.

Happy birthday, Mick!


10. Maroon 5 feat. Christina Aguilera - Move Like Jagger

Don't expect either Maroon 5 or Christina Aguilera to be making regular appearances on this blog, but as it's Mick's birthday and he apparently finds this track "very flattering", I pretty much had to give it  spin.

I actually used this in my class to demonstrate the use of simile in pop song.

9. Tim Hardin - Rolling Stone

The only song on this list that officially doesn't gather any moss.

8. The Verve - The Rolling People

A slight cheat, but The Verve were famously sued by Andrew Loog Oldham for sampling his cover of The Last Time (by The Stones) on Bittersweet Symphony with the credits on that track being forcibly changed to Jagger / Richards / Ashcroft and 100% of the royalties ending up with Mick 'n' Keef.

The Rolling People comes from the same album, and presumably was written and recorded before all that kicked off. It still sounds pretty cool...

7. Cloud Control - The Rolling Stones

This song by Australia's Cloud Control has very little to do with Mick 'n' Keef, but it is quite lovely.

6. Dr. Hook - Cover of the Rolling Stone

About the magazine, not the band, obviously.

I got a freaky old lady name o' Cocaine Kitty who embroiders on my jeans
I got my poor ol' grey haired daddy, drivin' my limousine
Now it's all designed to blow our minds but our minds won't really be blown
Like the blow that'll getcha when you get your picture on the cover of The Rolling Stone

Worth checking out Poison's cover version too... if you're a glutton for hair metal punishment (as I am).
5. Mott The Hoople - Roll Away The Stone

Ian Hunter gets born again. Top guitar and sha-la-las.

4. Carly Simon - You're So Vain

There is great debate over who this song is actually about... and Mick Jagger is only one of many suspects (Warren Beatty, David Geffen and Nick Nolte are also likely candidates). Whether Mick is the vain one (he probably thinks this song is about him), he did sing backing vocals on Carly's biggest hit... and it's too good a song not to include here. Amazing lyrics...

3. The House Of Love -  The Beatles & The Stones

 If I ever get round to doing a Top Ten Songs About The Beatles... expect this to make a return appearance.

The Beatles and the Stones
Sucked the marrow out of bone
Put the V in Vietnam
The Beatles and the Stones
Made it good to be alone
To be alone

2. Bob Dylan - Like A Rolling Stone

Ooh... controversial. Hands up if you thought this would be Number One?

How does it feel...?

1. The Temptations - Papa Was A Rolling Stone

Better than Dylan? I'll leave that to the musos to argue over. For me, this is the Temps finest hour, one of the greatest basslines in the history of pop, and the intro alone gets it to the top spot.




Which one would you dedicate to the birthday boy?