Another Day #6: National No Smoking Day

IV and The Strange Band - Cigarette Ends

I think I've smoked about three cigarettes in my life, and each time was to impress a girl. The same girl. I suppose I kind of liked the buzz, but not enough (thankfully) to become addicted or have any desire to spend any of my own hard-earned cash on the things. How many fewer CDs would have I have been able to afford, if I'd developed a habit? How many comics would I not have been able to buy?

Arctic Monkeys - Cigarette Smoker Fiona

My dad smoked cigars when I was a kid, and I always loved the smell of them. As he got older, and had less money, he switched to a pipe and tobacco. I've probably mentioned this before, but one day in his early 60s, a doctor told him, "you keep smoking that pipe and you won't be here in ten years time". So my dad quit, cold turkey, and lived another 30 years... although arguably some damage had already been done, and he struggled with emphysema and other bronchial disorders, and (old age aside), those were probably what got him in the end.

Pink Floyd featuring Roy Harper - Have A Cigar

My Mum only smoked the occasional cigarette, at parties. Whenever I saw her with one in her hand, I became upset. I grew up watching some pretty graphic smoking ads on TV... from an early age, I was pretty well indoctrinated against fags... unless I thought I might use one to get a girl to like me.

Hawksley Workman - Jealous of Your Cigarette

It's hard to believe now just how much the smell of cigarette smoke used to be everywhere when we were teenagers... and how rare it is to smell them these days. It's all bloody vapes with the kids these days. Horrible things, with their claggy, artificial scents. Makes me feel a certain nostalgia for fag smoke... and definitely for cigars.

Tex Williams - Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette)

Here are a few more songs about smoking... 

Squeeze - Cigarette of A Single Man

 

Bryan Ferry - Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

Nick Nicely - 49 Cigars

Hefner - The Hymn For The Cigarettes

Golden Earring - Smoking Cigarettes

Robert Fripp & Daryl Hall - You Burn Me Up Like A Cigarette

What about you? Are you a reformed smoker? Or still sneaking one down a dark alley when nobody's looking?

Sequel Songs #9: Mrs. Avery

Here's one I've featured on this blog before... but time is tight, so you'll have to excuse me.

The original, of course, is a Shel Silverstein song made famous by Dr. Hook. To steal a chunk from my post on another famous Dr. Hook tune, which mentioned this in passing...

It turns out Sylvia's Mother is a true story too - Shel was in love with a woman called Sylvia Pandolfi, but she ran off with another man and ended up as a curator at the Museo de Arte Carrillo Gil in Mexico City. Shel tried desperately to rekindle that romance, but the only contact he had for Sylvia was her mum, and she wasn't having any of it. Nowadays, she'd probably report him as a stalker. I guess "Please, Mrs. Pandolfi" didn't quite scan, so Avery it was.

Yes, Mrs. Avery made quite the impression on us. So much so that she (or her Namesake... though surely there can be only one true Mrs. Avery) also shows up here...

Who are we to wonder, Mrs Avery

Who are we to wonder about Beverly

Evergreen girl

Beverly

Why did you leave me?

Why did you leave me in 1955?

Nick Nicely - Beverly

And here...

Back home on the street

After 10 at night

Mrs. Avery walks her dog

Checks to see what's going on

She doesn't lock the door

She lives here in good health

You don't hear the horn

When Mrs. Avery walks her dog

Meredith Brooks - My Little Town

And perhaps her final fate is revealed here...

You took me for a drive

And you said how Mrs. Avery died

The chilly golden sky

Seemed not to have been notified

Harrison Lemke - Going To Heaven

David Rotheray, former songwriting partner of Paul Heaton in The Beautiful South, produced a whole album worth of "answer songs" back in 2013, including this...

David Rotheray - Mrs Avery's Song (feat. Jackie Oates)

...though I have to confess, I'm not sure if there's any connection to the original there. More appropriate is this...

David Rotheray - Sylvia's Song (feat. Bella Hardy)

Likewise, I can't make out any direct continuation of the story here...

John Watt - Mrs. Avery

Our best hope for an official sequel to Sylvia's Mother comes from The Men They Couldn't Hang, on their 2009 album Devil On The Wind. Here, Mrs. Avery has to deal with the young man who kept pestering her over the phone in the original song. He's now camped out in her garden, bemoaning the disappearance of Sylvia, so Mrs. A has to call his dad to come sort him out... I'm not quite sure how she reacts when dad then puts the moves on her. But let's be charitable and hope for some kind of happy ending...

Snapshots #249: A Top Ten Field Songs

Gracie Fields introduced this week's quiz yesterday. I was most disappointed that I couldn't find a photo of Sally Field holding a camera... so you'll just have to do with a picture of a camera in a field. 

Everyone who takes part in this quiz is Outstanding in their Field.

10. Steal in a pleasant or attractive manner.

Nick Nicely - Hilly Fields (1892)

9. What Electric Jeff uses to tie up Othello's people.

Jeff from ELO would use a Lynne Knot, when tying up a Moor of Venice.

Gary Moore & Phil Lynott - Out In The Fields

8. LSD + MDMA.

Apparently if you take the two illegal substances above, you will experience a candy flip.

Candy Flip - Strawberry Fields Forever

Even worse than the original, which is annoying enough as it is.

7. What the Great Duke of Hell goes home in.

One of the archdukes of Hell is Dantalian. Apparently.

Dantalian's Chariot - Madman Running Through the Fields

Look, if you think I'm making this quiz easy for you after 250+ weeks, you can think again.

6. Short, cherubic communications satellites.

The abbreviation of communications satellite is ComSat.

Comsat Angels - Field of Tall Flowers

5. A Ronnie and a Tina, with what the bargain basement angels are wearing this year.

Ronnie Barker and Tina Turner, with a Red Clay Halo.

Emily Barker & The Red Clay Halo featuring Frank Turner - Fields of June

4. Yeah, so, BBC?

Anagram!

Beach Boys - Cottonfields

3. Abstract expressionism, beginning with Rothko.

That's Colourfield, art fans.

The Colourfield - The Colourfield

2. Rugby Tonic.

Anagram!

Big Country - Fields Of Fire

1. A spate of super-absorbent avatars hides the answer.

A sPATe of super-absorBENt avATARs hides the answer.

Pat Benatar - Love Is A Battlefield

More fields of fun next week...

Hot 100 #18

Only one song by one band named after the number 18 in my record collection... but it's not a bad one at all.

The Eighteenth Day of May - Casey Jones

Welcome back to the Hot 100 as we come of age - backwards - with only 17 more weeks to go before I get to have a lie down. As has become customary in recent weeks, there's a ton of songs to get through... so let's get cracking.

Let's start with Martin...

18... I imagine there must be a bucketful. Can't think of too many off the top of my head though, so will just have to go with:

The Stray Cats - 18 Miles to Memphis 

Art Brut - 18,000 Lira  

So no, I don't expect to be winning again next week...

I dunno - that second one was in serious contention.

Next up is Lynchie...

Kathy Mattea has a decent country song called: "Eighteen Wheels And A Dozen Roses"...

Kathy Mattea - Eighteen Wheels And A Dozen Roses

Like that.

Speaking of 18 wheels, Rigid Digit offered this beauty...

Alabama - Roll On (Eighteen Wheeler)

RD also threw these into the ring...

Everyone needs a bit of hair metal once in a while:

Skid Row - 18 And Life

That's like a Silvikrin commercial.

How about electronica?

Moby -18

A bit of headbanging stuff?

Megadeth - Hangar 18

Pardon?

Over to Jim in Dubai next...

This week I am leading with: 

The Associates - 18 Carat Love Affair 

Brian seconded that. And then added a couple more of his own...

Bubblegum Splash - 18:10 to Yeovil Junction 

You do know my affection for anything on the Subway Organization label.

Yes, indeed, and while we're doing time of day songs...

Bloc Party - Waiting For The 7:18

Brian's other suggestion was one from my own shortlist...

Grandaddy - A.M. 180

Jason Lytle's first great song but nowhere near his last.

Love that how that cheesy intro cuts into the guitars.

Back to Jim, who also offered...

The Cygnet Ring - 18 Daze

I do like that.

18 Wheeler - Stay

Look - Jim found another 18 band!

Assuming... 

Momus - London 1888 

...doesn't qualify but certainly worth a mention.

Funnily enough, I did say 19th Century songs would be allowed Jim, because I had a few of my own...

Frank Black - 1826

The Pine Hill Haints - Spirit of 1812

Sparks - It Ain't 1918

The Handsome Family - Emily Shore - 1819 - 1839

Television - 1880 Or So

That is where The National got their entire at from!

Nick Nicely - Hill Fields (1892)

And that's where Damon Albarn got his from.

One more date - a day rather than a year though.

The Deep Dark Woods - 18th of December

Great video.

Alyson made it through my defences to drop these two...

Bobby Darin - Eighteen Yellow Roses 

Bryan Adams - 18 Til I Die

OK, before we get to this week's head to head, here's a few more from my hard-drive of horror...

5 Seconds Of Summer - 18

Nils Lofgren - 60 Is The New 18

Think that probably featured in week 60. Here's another one from Nils, from back when he was closer to 18...

Grin - 18-faced Lover

Client - Diary of an 18 Year Old Boy

Reverend & The Makers - 18-30

Theaudience - Now That You Are 18

Roy Orbison - Almost Eighteen

Consider that an uncomfortable taster of the next couple of weeks.

And finally, a top track from last year's long-awaited reunion album...

The Hold Steady - Star 18

All of which leaves us with two choices for this week.

In the red corner, here's Charity Chic...

I'm eighteen with a bullet

Got my finger on the trigger, 

I'm gonna pull it

And Lynchie...

Fascinating facts about Pete Wingfield (I bought "18 With A Bullet" in 1975 - fantastically fun lyrics):

He produced Searching for the Young Soul Rebels the first album by Dexys Midnight Runners - and also produced The Proclaimers "Sunshine on Leith".

He's played keyboards for Van Morrison, The Everly Brothers, The Housemartins and many more.

Sadly however, he did play piano for The Alan Parsons Project, but nobody's perfect.


In the blue corner, here's... erm... Lynchie...

...and then there's the great Alice Cooper song: "I'm Eighteen".

And C...

I definitely second FBCB's suggestion of Alice Cooper's 'I'm Eighteen'.
A few years ago Mr SDS did his best Alice Cooper impression at a fancy dress party (it was so hot his eyeliner ran and the great thing was that it didn't matter...) Somewhere out there now there's a priceless photo of Alice, Slash and Ozzy together in a scout hut in Essex.



And this week's winner...?

Well, it's obvious really, isn't it?

Well done, Lynchie.

Next week - 17. Off the top of my head, there can be only one winner. You may seek to persuade me otherwise...