Friday, 20 March 2026
Fun Fact Friday #6: If I Had Words...
Sunday, 16 June 2024
Saturday Snapshots #348: A Top Ten Oxymoron Songs
When I was a kid, I thought that an oxymoron was an idiot with spots. Then I went to an English lesson and learned that an oxymoron is actually "a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction". Like Biggie Smalls, above... or Fatboy Slim, who introduced yesterday's post.
Here are ten songs that feature oxymorons in their titles...
10. What do you get if you cross a Folksinger and Man U?
Otis Rush, Bobby Rush, Jennifer Rush...
8. Jerry Lee meets another Piano man.
Jerry Lee Lewis meets Huey Piano Smith...
Huey Lewis & The News - Hip To Be Square
Or I would have let you have...
Huey Lewis & The News Some Of My Lies Are True
7. Woody is a Plonker.
Woody Allen meets Rodney from Only Fools & Horses...
6. 25th Century debtors.
Buck Rogers went to the 25th Century, and came back Owen a lot of money...
5. Man, that's a jazzy label.
Verve is one of the top labels for jazz records. Nice.
The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony
Incredibly, this is the first time the Verve have appeared on Saturday Snapshots. I probably thought Richard Ashcroft was just too easy to recognise.
4. What makes your writing distinct?
The Stylistics - Break Up To Make Up
3. Captive journalist.
Terry Anderson was an American journalist held hostage in Lebanon for 6 years.
This isn't that Terry Anderson. Instead, it's the one who originally wrote Battleship Chains, among other fine tunes like this one...
Terry Anderson and the Olympic Ass-Kickin Team - Found Missing
2. I can almost remember their funny faces...
That's the opening line from Jet, obviously.
Joan Jett - I Hate Myself For Loving You
1. Theft of a Pet Shop Boy.
Nick Lowe - Cruel To Be Kind
A few others that I couldn't squeeze in...
(That video never grows old.)
Hall & Oates - So Close (Yet So Far Away)
They Might Be Giants - Everything Right Is Wrong Again
Three Dog Night - Easy to Be Hard
Parting is such sweet sorrow, but Snapshots returns next Saturday...
Sunday, 23 July 2023
Snapshots #302: A Top Ten Dollar Price Songs
10. Stuck in your bottom, and in Iowa itself.
Stuck in your bottom, and in Iowa itself.
9. The Prodigy, in a patriarchy.
Prodigies are young geniuses (google it - it's not genii). In a patriarchy though, they would only recognise the smart boys. Although the lads don't even know how to use capital letters, so what hope is there?
This one was specially for CC.
8. Discotheque that only plays A Horse With No Name.
That would be a Club that only plays Music by America.
American Music Club - $1,000,000 Song
7. Goes with Vera and Betty.
Aloe Vera and Black Betty...
6. Slain rain.
One of Jack White's many diversions...
The Dead Weather - Three Dollar Hat
5. Pig home, inventory, spasms.
Sty + list + tics...
4. Where a Flashy actor goes to buy sable.
I've not been a big fan of recent movies based on DC Comics, but I thought The Flash was OK... despite being a box office bomb. It was good to see Michael Keaton back in the Batsuit, and the Nicolas Cage cameo was worth the ticket price alone. Controversial star Ezra Miller was rather irksome though... I doubt they'll be back.
If Ezra wanted to buy some sable though, they'd probably go to the fur man.
Ezra Furman - Maraschino Red Dress $8.99 at Goodwill
3. Throw him on a bonfire with Joni.
Guys are made to be thrown on the bonfire. Never do that to Joni Mitchell.
Guy Mitchell - A Dime And A Dollar
2. Mrs. Paragons gets in a kerfuffle with Raoul Shimmery.
Two anagrams, un-kerfuffled...
Gram Parsons & Emmylou Harris - $1000 Wedding
A grand probably wouldn't even pay for the dress these days.
1. Tommy, in chains.
It never ceases to amaze me that we're now healthily into the 300s, and I'm still discovering big name artists who have never appeared in Snapshots before. Even more incredible is when it's artists I actually like.
Above is a young Vincent Furnier, and his puppy, before he adopted his more distinctive stage persona...
Tommy Cooper + Alice In Chains =
Alice Cooper - Billion Dollar Babies
Sunday, 16 April 2023
Snapshots #288: A Top Ten Weekend Songs
This gentleman is The Weeknd. I can't pretend to be familiar with his work, but I do know that the French don't have a word for him. Here are ten songs that have nothing to do with him...
10. Most of a Slayer meets Sky Saxon's mob.
Most of Buffy the Vampire Slayer would be Buff.
Sky Saxon was in The Seeds.
The Buffseeds - Who Stole The Weekend?
9. Shorter than the King of Pop.
The King of Pop was Michael Jackson. This is Mick Jackson, who coincidentally wrote Blame It On The Boogie which was then a big hit for his slightly longer namesake.
8. Alias Gibson & Basinger.
Mel Gibson & Kim Basinger never made a movie together or this clue would have been a lot cleverer.
Mel & Kim - Showing Out (Get Fresh At the Weekend)
7. He'll never be an old guy.
He'll always be a new gent.
6. They'll have you fuming.
The Vapors - Waiting For The Weekend
5. Great minds thought alike in the summer of '96.
In the summer of 1996, there were two big chart hits with (virtually) the same title...
Super Furry Animals - Something 4 The Weekend
The Divine Comedy - Something For The Weekend
4. It's less titchy when you shake it about a bit.
"It's less titchy" was an anagram. Shake it around a bit and you get...
The Stylistics - Funky Weekend
3. Hyacinth Bouquet's favourite band.
2. Discontinued chocolate bars.
Sadly, they don't make Drifters anymore.
The Drifters - Another Lonely Weekend
Or you could have had...
The Drifters - Don't Cry On The Weekend
1. Coolly, Del makes lots of noise.
Anagram + a right commotion...
Lloyd Cole & The Commotions - Lost Weekend
Thursday, 27 October 2022
Guest Post Thursday #14: A Top Ten "I Can't..." Songs (Part 1)
It's been a while since I ran any guest posts here, and the only reason for that is that nobody has offered any. Fair enough, most of you have your own blogs to worry about. Fortunately, George has got sick of reading my interminable ramblings day after day, or perhaps taken mercy on me after yesterday's bumper post, and offered not one, but two guest posts to give me what Huey Lewis would call a Couple Days Off. So Guest Post Thursday is back!
Here's George...
I was listening to one of the three cds in the Sick, Sorry and Sober set recently and I heard this:
Today I passed you in the street, And my heart fell at your feet, I can’t help it if I’m still in love with you
And I thought that it was genius: a simple lyric, a simple tune, that Hawaiian-sounding guitar, that reedy, plaintive and painful voice, combining to make an unforgettable song. I can understand why some 70s and 80s country music puts people off, but I will never understand how people could not like and admire this song.
Hank Williams - I can't help it if I'm still in love with you
And if you can get hold of that 3 cd set I would urge you to do so.
A while later, whilst sitting around not doing much, just singing those lines, I thought of this, another simple intro, builds up a bit, that “ooo” the drum roll, then Levi Stubbs’ voice...
The Four Tops - I can't help myself
I’m spoiling you, two utterly brilliant songs, it’s got to be downhill now. There’s a lot of song titles that start “I can’t”, and an amazing number of them are great. And then there’s that abomination by crap prog turned crap pop group with that drummer-singer. So, to cleanse your ears after just polluting them with the thought of that song, here’s some hard-rock blues.
Led Zeppelin - I can't quit you baby
You’ll be pleased to now know that I have been having the sleep of the just of late, obviously not a care in the world, unlike The La’s...
And Mr Mavers was somehow not satisfied with that album?
Onto more genius lyrics...
Is it day, is it night, Am I losing my sight, I can’t see me without you
Yes, another country song. Really, how can that start not make you at least smile (or laugh out loud)?
Conway Twitty - I can't see me with you
And after a busy morning eating, the goats are having a lie down, chewing their cud. They are obviously telling me to include this song:
The Velvet Underground - I can't stand it
Anita is on heat as I write this, has been for a couple of days, so much bleating round these parts, and it’s difficult to get her in the goat shed. Parsley goes in no problem, a bit of bread, corn, he’s there, but at times like these, not Anita. FORTY minutes it took on Tuesday. She’s bleating for Francisco’s young male goat:
It was very frustrating, he bleated.
The Temptations - I Can't get next to you
My thoughts on this?
The White Stripes - I can't wait
Yes, I can’t wait for this bleating to be over. And one more tune...
The Stylistics - I can't give you anything but my love
Insert your own goat-on-heat joke.
So a Top Ten “I Can’t” songs. Yes, some obvious ones not there, some deliberately excluded on grounds of taste, but not Barry Manilow, oh no, but because the song is Can’t Smile WIthout You, and not I Can’t Smile Without You.
Thanks of course to Rol for allowing this to be posted. Feel free to leave your inane comment.
And I’ve just been informed that I can write a part 2. I bet you can’t wait!
Wednesday, 28 November 2018
My Top Ten Sing Songs
Sing something simple. Here's ten songs where singers tell us to sing. Lazy buggers: they want us to do our job for them. Or... maybe they just want to remind us how good it feels to sing sometimes.
Ten songs that celebrate singing. Go!
10. Mel Tillis - Come On & Sing
A recent discovery... from the distant past... by a country songwriter perhaps more famous for the songs he wrote than for singing them.
9. My Chemical Romance - Sing
A much-missed band. Well, by me, anyway.
8. Stylistics - Sing Baby Sing
A song celebrating the fact that the world is getting better every day...
Wait, come back!
7. Blur - Sing
From the soundtrack to Trainspotting.
6. Kevin Ayers - Sing A Song In The Morning
Kevin Ayers' backing band on this track is The Whole World. It's nice to have friends.
5. Travis - Sing
Travis at their most singalong.
If you can't handle that, you may prefer the Glen Campbell version. If I were Fran Healy, I'd consider my job done once Glen Campbell had recorded one of my songs.
4. Aretha Franklin - Sing It Again - Say It Again
Funky in the extreme - sounds like the theme to a 70's cop show with added Aretha.
3. Martin Rossiter - Sing It Loud
The other day, Martin (not Rossiter) was lamenting the fact that this Martin has only ever recorded one solo album. I couldn't agree more. This was a cracker. We demand more!
2. Morrissey - Sing Your Life
Could this be the happiest song Morrissey ever recorded?
Well, maybe not...
It always makes me happy though.
1. The Carpenters - Sing
Come on, it had to be, didn't it?
(What else were you expecting? REO Speedwagon?)
Sing to me in the comments, if you will...
Sunday, 25 March 2018
Saturday Snapshots #25 - The Answers
Here we go with this week's answers...
I think we can safely say that The Swede is this week's winner!
10. Lost your afterlife? Ask Syd's heartbreakers.
Syd Barrett recorded a song called Gigolo Aunt, which Urban Dictionary defines as "A Girl who is usually very cute and pretty that seduces men makes them madly fall in love with her using her specific ways".
The Gigolo Aunts - Where I Find My Heaven
The Swede #1.
9. Irish operas make for rubbish poetry.
Gilbert & Sullivan becomes...
Gilbert O'Sullivan - Nothing Rhymed
One of the saddest song ever written.
The Swede #2.
8. What you need when you're ill in Niagara.
TLC - Waterfalls
Lynchie!
7. Toothpaste flavoured Irn Bru.
Spearmint - Scottish Pop
Martin and a holidaying Charity Chic.
6. Chicks sing on the white lines.
Where's your mama gone?
Middle Of The Road - Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep
Forgotten how good this was. I just ordered a copy of their Best Of.
Alyson got this - of course!
5. Skinny Spaniards play it safe.
Delgado means skinny in Spanish.
The Delgados - No Danger
Another one for Martin.
4. Buddies waiting for the Number 73.
The Hollies - Bus Stop
The Swede #3.
3. Fashionable jigsaws.
The Stylistics - Let's Put It All Together
George & Lynchie - nice try from Rigid Digit.
2. Bicycle thieves get chased by a neighbour.
BMX Bandits - Kylie's Got A Crush On Us
The Swede #4.
1. Russian dolls in the topiary.
Chris got the Early Bird glory this week...
Be still, my pre-teen heart... never did so many young men dream of being a double bass...
Thanks for playing. More next week.
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