Showing posts with label Tony Joe White. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tony Joe White. Show all posts

Sunday, 14 December 2025

Snapshots #426: Cat Songs


Hey there, all you cool cats and kittens!


15. Take half a Diazepam and Relax for a year.

Diazepam = Valium. Half would be Vali. Frankie said Relax. A year is Four Seasons.

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons – Rag Doll

14. Rubbish collecting Eagle and cancelled Sugar.

Dennis Eagle made dustbin wagons. Brown Sugar was cancelled.

Dennis Brown – Wolf & Leopards

13. Are We Okay? In a way.

"We Okay" was an anagram.

Wye Oak – Siamese

12. The very latest in henchmen.

Brand New Heavies - Sphynx

11. Conventionality belongs to yesterday at police high school.

"Conventionality belongs to yesterday" is from Grease, the high school being Rydell High, and this is a Bobby.

Bobby Rydell – The Alley Cat Song

10. Disregard the big ears on those nuns.

Corn has big ears. Disregard = shed.

The Cornshed Sisters - Ocelot Song

9. Boss visits A&E with genital chafing.

Bruce Cockburn – Wondering Where The Lions Are

8. Splits her time between Blur and Culture Club.

Blur and Culture Club.

Lulu - I'm A Tiger

7. Sorrow's native sons…

That's a line from a song by The Smiths. Which song?

Pretty Girls Make Graves – Wildcat 

6. Found in Orlando, Jackson and the biggest town in Wales.

Tony Orlando, Joe Jackson and Barry... White.

Tony Joe White – Jaguar Man

5. They have cube-shaped poo.

Apparently it's a fact.

The Wombats – Cheetah Tongue

4. Revolting peasant found in football pundit.

Shearwater – The Snow Leopard

3. Buffalo goes to Howard’s End.

Buffalo Tom... Howard Jones.

Tom Jones – What’s New, Pussycat?

2. Hannah dies as a result of mix-up.

"Hannah dies" was an anagram.

Nadine Shah - Club Cougar

1.  Horniest city looks in need of illumination.

"Horniest city" was an anagram. Illumination would come from an All Seeing I.

Tony Christie & The All Seeing I - Walk Like A Panther 

Join us for more of this twaddle next Saturday morning. It's more enjoyable than cleaning out the cat's litter tray.


Sunday, 3 November 2024

Snapshots #368 - A Top Ten Mythical Creature Songs

I didn't really know what to call this week's Top Ten, and I only really settled on "Mythical Creatures" under protest... since clearly everyone knows Bigfoot isn't a myth. 


Apologies, all you sceptics, but I'm 100% Fox Mulder: I want to believe. The alternative is a much more boring world.

Anyway, here are ten songs about creatures I'm willing to be convinced are just as real as you or I...


10. Half a dozen English immigrants.

New Colony Six - Ballad Of The Wingbat Marmaduke (Elf Song)

OK, I'm not saying I believed in Wingbat Marmadukes... but Elves, why not?

9. Bony Beth.

Thin Lizzy - Banshee

8. Blackburn / Ely Riot.

Tony Blackburn and Joe Ely get involved in a White Riot.

Tony Joe White - Even Trolls Love Rock 'n' Roll

7. 15/3.

The 15th of March is the Ides...

Ides Of March - Ogre

6. Influential director and blinking bloke. 

An Auteur and a bloke known for his Rapid Eye Movement...

Luke Haines & Peter Buck - Last of the Legendary Bigfoot Hunters

5. Third Netflix Queen just might...

Three actresses played The Queen on Netflix, the third being Imelda Staunton. 

Imelda May - Little Pixie

4. Conservative Councillor. 

He was in a Conserve (Jam) and also a Council (Style).

Paul Weller - Mermaids

3. They'll give you the hump.

Camel - Sasquatch

2. Logic, Radiator, Guerilla.

Their first three albums were Fuzzy Logic, Radiator and Guerilla...

Super Furry Animals - Hometown Unicorn

...and I would have accepted...

Super Furry Animals - Chupacabras

1. Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum.


That's the chorus of If I Were A Richman, of course...

Again, two answers would have been acceptable. Firstly, this...

Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - Rockin' Rockin' Leprechauns

And, more obviously, this...

Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - Abominable Snowman In The Supermarket


Hard to believe, I know, but Saturday Snapshots will return next week...


Tuesday, 20 July 2021

Conversations With Ben #17: Ice Cream Man


Rol: I went into a local newsagents to get some Formula 1 cards that Sam is collecting. Didn't get any. Instead, I got a 5 minute lecture on how he's been a newsagent all his life and he doesn't stock trading cards because he's seen too many kids throw away money on them and blah blah blah blah blah. It was like something out of League of Gentlemen.

Ben: He sounds more like he hates kids. Probably doesn't like them in his shop at all.

I remember the days of collecting stickers for my Beano Panini sticker books and my Simpsons one.

Running around the house desperate to do chores, no matter how small, so I could get another 30p and run to the shop to get another pack.

I'm so old it was Empire Strikes Back.

That dotard in your newsagent's doesn't know what he's on about. I still have my two stickerbooks. Can't bring myself to throw them away because of the memories of putting it together. I only ever see it when I'm moving but it sparks pleasant memories and I spend a good ten minutes looking through. I still remember which ones were so rare and the excitement of finding them.

Yeah, I still have a couple of mine too.

It was a hilarious scene though. He was still lecturing me as I left the shop. I wish I'd said to him, "how many newspapers are you selling these days, mate?"

You should have gone full bell-end and started mimicking him in the most obnoxious voice with exaggerated hand gestures...

I love miserable shopkeepers though. I still remember the local coffee shop I dared to go in at 3.30 (he closed at 4). He audibly groaned as I walked in and said, "I hope you don't want coffee 'cos I'm cleaning the machine now."

Still, we need to support our local businesses!

Definitely. But it's definitely helpful if they aren't dicks.

You work in customer service in an age where you can get almost anything delivered. All I need is a smile and I'm sold.

Did he at least have a mini freezer full of 10p Mr Freezes?

I wasn't about to start inspecting the things he chose worthy of selling: too busy listening to what he wouldn't sell. I bet he had some dodgy magazines behind the counter. He's probably not heard of the internet.

I really want an ice pop now.

One thing that I really miss as a vegan is a choc ice

I can get Magnums and shop own brand ones and luxury style non dairy ice-creams that mimic a Magnum but I want a choc ice.

Something that has no pretensions.

In a paper bag, usually broken. Cheapest shit on earth. I want that.

We had dairy free ice cream this afternoon.

It was horrible

What brand? There's some shockers.

Poncy ice cream shop that's opened up in the centre of the village. Only sells DF.

Homemade?

I guess so. Sam liked the bubblegum flavour, but the mango I had was minging.

Gritty and ice shards?

No, it was smooth enough. Just tasted artificial. I like a nice sorbet, but this wasn't it.

Can't comment as haven't tried it. But I'd say that's less to do with non dairy and more to do with the flavour that the shop uses. Poorly made vegan ice cream usually is gritty or has ice shards in because non dairy milks have xantham gum in to thicken and stop separation which if you don't freeze it properly separates the water and turns it into some weird ice.

Left a nasty taste in my mouth, can still taste it now. Like those drinks full of aspartame.

That'll just be the flavouring. Probably used a low sugar one. Ugh.

I really want a choc ice now.

There's a Top 10 songs for you. Ones that mention choc ices. Or ice creams. No repeating dishes. i.e. no two sundae songs.

I know Kano had a lyric somewhere with Choc Ice in...


Here you go...












 All ice cream songs. Failed miserably on choc ices.

Needs to be more specific.

E.g. Cone.

Sundae.

Knickerbocker Glory.

Choc ice.

Solero.

Strawberry split.

I'll need more time for that.

I'm sure Kelis must have a song about licking ice creams...

Just trying to challenge you...

I will accept cone and waffle cone as two separate ones.

Also a tub of ice cream.

Not something like "two scoops" as that doesn't define the sort of ice-cream.


Magic Whip is the worst Blur album. So I'm not going there.

I'd completely forgot that one exists.

If you struggle, I will also accept half of them to be ice lollies, but they must refer to the product itself and not just use the word. I.e. "fab" and "zoom" must refer to the ice lolly Fab and not an adjective and zoom must refer to that bitching ice lolly and not the verb.


Also, please don't say "bitchin", even ironically.

Zooms are pretty good though, aren't they? Do they still make them?

I've no idea what you're talking about.


Those and fab lollies fuelled my childhood.

And Mini Milks.

Never liked a Feast.

Nobbly Bobblies were a treat when the ice cream van came, though.

Bennet - Mum Has Gone To Iceland contains a reference to "ice cream topping"...

Don't suppose you'll allow one of the Top Five Greatest TV Theme Tunes of all time?

There's a Cadbury's Flake here... the most important bit of a 99...


I feel like a 99 is ubiquitous enough to be referenced as a whole...

Ian Dury's Blackmail Man has Raspberry Ripple in it... but he's using rhyming slang to refer to himself


That's one. 


That's two.

John Grant - Marz... lots of ice cream flavours in that, surely?

I'll accept that one grudgingly.

It's more confectionery but, yeah.

Vanilla Ice, obviously...



If that's a link explaining sexual practices, I'm not clicking on it.

John Cougar Mellencamp - Jack & Diane... behind the Tastee Freez...

Tastee freez is a shop.

Selling soft scoop ice cream.

We're on about frozen desserts. Not locations to buy frozen desserts.

Otherwise Rabbit would count as it mentions Sainsbury's.

Sainsbury's isn't an ice cream shop.

They sell ice-cream.

I'm not playing unless you allow me Jack & Diane.


You can have Jack and Diane.

That's the only one involving an ice-cream shack allowed.

Thank you. I will move on from that source now.



I feel like you're too focused on generic ice cream. I don't want a Farm Foods Neapolitan. I want a variety of frozen treats.

The King Blues - Getting Out Of Here has Cornettos in it. Your sort of band. Very political. I saw them supporting Bragg once.

I saw them a number of years ago. They changed direction I think. I think the singer became a rapper.

Yeah. I think he got sick of nobody listening.


That's me done. I've exhausted this topic.

Banana Splits?

Louise hated when I introduced Sam to the Banana Splits.

Love the Banana Splits. When I was about 7 they reran their Saturday morning show on cartoon network. With all the skits and the shows within them.

I can't say I ever got the appeal, beyond the theme song.

I think it's the chaotic nature of them.

Especially when every other presenter was trying to be more cool.

Even at an early age you were rebelling against the system.

I think I've said but I loved the slapstick nature of The Three Stooges, Mr Bean, Tom and Jerry. And this was a set of shows that were presented by these silly creatures. The go kart bit always cracked me up.

I found them a bit scary. Still do.


Sunday, 18 April 2021

Snapshots #185: A Top Ten Spider Songs

For a Top Ten Spider Songs, here's three Spider-Men. Rumour has it they may all appear together in the same film at the end of this year. That probably won't mean much to you, but to me it'll be like all my Christmases come at once.

Anyway, some web-spinning songs...


10. Not the French band.

Last week we featured the French band Space. This is the Liverpudlian band who stole their name.

Space - Spiders

9. The front of the ship, that is.

I.E. the bow.

You could have had this...

David Bowie - Glass Spider

But really I was thinking of this...

David Bowie - Ziggy Stardust... and The Spiders From Mars

8. Could be Jack's victims?

Jack was a Giant Killer.

They Might Be Giants - Spider!

7. Join teeth: yow!

Anagram!

Tony Joe White - Stud Spider

6. The sound of Queen's motorbike.

Freddie Mercury's bike goes REV!

Mercury Rev - Spiders & Flies

5. Heaven wouldn't, but...

...hell wood.

(That's Jim White, Johnny Dowd and Willie B, Americana fans.)

Hellwood - Spider In The Bed

4. Heard by Horton.

The Who - Boris The Spider

3. Short gambler makes you go Euurrrghh!

Kenny Rogers was The Gambler. Shortened, he's Ken... and he's ickie!

Kenickie - Scared Of Spiders

2. Place for exercise, halfway between Stoke and Wolverhampton.

Halfway between Stoke and Wolverhampton is Stafford.

Jim Stafford - Spiders And Snakes

1. Muddled moaners.

Moaners, muddled up, gives you Ramones.


More Snapshots swing into to town next Saturday.


Friday, 26 June 2020

Elvis Fridays #2: Salad, Chips & Cookies


I had to start this week's Elvis Friday with the Sesame Street version of the Elvis Costello song I posted last week. Thanks very much to Rigid Digit for bringing this to my attention. It was too good to stay languishing in a comment box though...




The purpose of Elvis Fridays is to cheer me (and maybe you too) up after another long hard week of lockdown working. And that certainly did the trick.

Which other Elvis might I call upon to put a smile on my face this morning?

How about this one...?



And what about the King himself? What has he got that can compete with Kirsty and the Cookie Monster?

How about this rare live recording of Elvis singing Tony Joe White's classic Polk Salad Annie in his Vegas years. People make fun of the Vegas years, but I watch a performance like this, and damn it, what I wouldn't give to have been in that audience. From a 2020 perspective, 1970 looks like the place to be...



Sunday, 13 January 2019

Saturday Snapshots #66 - The Answers


Ground control to Major Tom - check your Saturday Snapshots answers and put your helmet on...

Let's hope Brexit (if it happems) doesn't put an end to our European friends from taking part in Saturday Snapshots... because this week saw our Danish and German blog-friends take a clear victory. Well done to Chris and Walter, who got seven of the answers before any of our U.K. contenders even got out of bed. Charity Chic, Rigid Digit and Mr. C solved the rest, but the hard work had been done by the time they (and Alyson) arrived.


10. Undetached hedgehog calls last orders.


Sonic the hedgehog.

An undetached house might be a semi.

Last orders comes at Closing Time.

Semisonic - Closing Time

9. American revolutionary soldiers visit Chinese medicine man.


Check your history books.

The Minutemen - Dr. Wu

8. DNA Friendly Bing, doubles the aristocracy.


DNA = Gene.

Chandler Bing was in Friends.

Duke & Earl are two titles of the aristocracy.

Gene Chandler - Duke of Earl

7. Afternoon cinema blackout starts World War.


WWI began when Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assissinated.

Franz Ferdinand - The Dark of the Matinee

6. Homer in space; Brooklynite.


Homer wrote the Odyssey... but not the Space Odyssey.

Odyssey - Native New Yorker

5. Old rope from terrible circumstances.


Dire Straits - Money For Nothing

(Yes, that really is Dire Straits... at  their first ever gig!)

4. Feline superhero at home in the pub.


Cat Power - Lived In Bars

3. Broadway coffee award-winner found in Hammersmith Palais, eating greens with a gator girl.


A Tony is a Broadway Award.

Coffee is Joe.

White Man In Hammersmith Palais.

Listen to the song for the rest...

Tony Joe White - Poll Salad Annie

2. I am on swirl: the object of my desire.


I am on swirl is an anagram...

Mari Wilson - Just What I Always Wanted

1. Bob's future is in hand: great detective work.


Palm-readers tell the future.

Detectives look for clues.



Let's Dance again next Saturday morning...


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