Cnut Songs #26: Boy Racers

King Cnut could not hold back the tide, and I cannot hold back society's full-throttle descent into dystopia. All I can do is watch helplessly from the sidelines, and nod my head sagely when others hold a mirror up to the madness. 

We live on top of a moor looking down on the picturesque Yorkshire town jumped-up village of Holmfirth. By the way, before I begin today's rant, I discovered my first Holmfirth song earlier this week...

The Watersons - The Holmfirth Anthem

I do like folk music, but that's probably a bit too folky even for me. And it makes the town village sound even more yokely than Last of the Summer Wine managed, which is going some. We are way more cosmopolitan than the Watersons give us credit for. The police were called to investigate a couple of weekends back because some Huddersfield gangster fired a gun outside one of the local hostile-ries. They shut the road for over 24 hours while forensic teams combed the area for a bullet. I'm not sure they found it, but they probably found lots of dog shit. Clearly we're less sedate than Chatteris...

Car crime's low, gun crime's lower,
The town hall band CD, it's a grower,
You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce,
Although there was a drive by shouting once.

Half Man Half Biscuit - For What Is Chatteris

I'm getting sidetracked. Today's post isn't about local gun-toting hoodlums... if it's about hoodlums of a different variety.

Morrissey - Boy Racer

The Haywains - Boy Racers a Go Go

Squid - Boy Racers

The Wolfhounds - Boy Racers, Rm1

Metronomy - Boy Racers

Boyracer - I've Got It And It's Not Worth Having

Who knew there could be so many songs relating to this particular kind of social irritant? 

Do I need to add much more? We live up on top of a moor, and though the road that passes our house is just a link connecting two main roads, the boy racers still love to floor their pedals as they pass us by. I'll never understand this, or why your car needs more than one exhaust pipe, or why you prefer a car that rumbles like a jackhammer. If my car made that kind of noise, I'd be taking it to the garage. 

Anyway, the purpose of this post isn't just to whinge about boy racers. It's to highlight another excellent song by Wolves of Glendale. Be warned, I will probably find any excuse to feature this band over the next few months. Those of you who feel that comedy and popular music should never mix, feel free to look away now. The rest of you... well, all I can add is that Louise generally has very little time for much of the music I feature on this blog, but she loves this. Then again, she hates boy racers even more than I do. Here's a tip - don't switch it off until it's well past the 90 second mark...

Record Collection Recollections #7: Tribalism

Ben bought me the C86 book by Nige Tassell last Christmas and I finally got around to starting it over the summer. It's an absorbing read, with a chapter devoted to every band who featured on the NME's legendary C86 cassette, catching up with them, finding out where they are and what they're up to now. Beyond the ones that are obviously still around - like Primal Scream, The Wedding Present and Half Man Half Biscuit - many of the others are still involved in music in one form or another, and most (with the exception of Bobby Gillespie, natch) are very down to earth about it.  

The Bodines - Therese

Most music books deal with the big names, the stadium giants who live a life we can't imagine and talk about music like it's a kind of alchemy (and I guess if it takes you to that level of success, it is). The interviews here feature everyday people having a cup of tea in their front room, walking their dog in a graveyard, or getting up early to go bird-watching... and as such, it demystifies the music industry and you realise that pop stars are just like you and me. Some of them get lucky, but most of them enjoy (or completely bungle) their 15 minutes and then shuffle off to get on with the rest of their lives. Amusingly, quite a few of the bands lament the song they chose for the C86 compilation, saying they feel they had far better tracks to offer, but either didn't realise how significant C86 was going to be or just couldn't be bothered. (Stump, for example, blew most of the £500 the NME gave them on nights out, then recorded a really crappy version of one of their best tunes which didn't do it any justice.) 

Stump - Buffalo

(That's not the version they gave the NME.)

Although I'm not even halfway through the book due to my usual snail's pace at reading anything these days, the most interesting observation thus far came from Dave Newton of the Mighty Lemon Drops who was explaining why he thought his band went on to enjoy more success in the States (where he now lives) than in their home country. He put this squarely down to what he calls "tribalism"... 

"Over here, it's amazing how many people who like us or the Bunnymen also like Van Halen. I don't get that. Some Americans think I'm not telling the truth about bands like that - or that I'm some kind of snob. No, it's just not conceivable that in the UK you'd like Wah! Heat and Bon Jovi. But you see it here on kids' schoolbags where they've written both Rush and the Sex Pistols. Really?! How can you love both?"

And as soon as I read this, I realised where I went wrong as a kid. And where I still go wrong today, as a blogger. The closest I can get to tribalism is to say that I don't really care for dance music post 1987, but I think that's more to do with the way I process music - lyrics first. When I was a kid, I liked most pop and rock music, from any era. Then, as I began to discover alternative music, I kept on enjoying all the other stuff. I didn't go off down one path and close the door to all the other stuff. And while I wasn't cool enough to be buying the NME when C86 came out, one thing that surprised me from reading the book was how many of the bands didn't really see themselves as particularly alternative anyway, they just wanted to make pop music and have a good time.

The Wolfhounds - Feeling So Strange Again

Anyway, I figure this is why the musos don't get me, and why this blog will never really find its niche. Because one day I might be writing about Pulp, and the next I'll be writing about Barry Manilow. And there's no distinction in my head. If I like something, I like it. And all these years, I've been made to feel guilty about that, like it's a bad thing. Maybe I should have grown up in the states...

Snapshots #257: A Top Ten Pronoun Songs

This is Ezra Furman. They have a new record out. It's pretty good. Not yet sure if it's as good as Transangelic Exodus, but I'll let you know. Ezra once said, "I am trying to figure out why I as a trans person don’t care about gendered pronouns, and so many people do. Why I’m fine with he/she/them and others have strong preferences." I can't answer that question for them. But I can answer these pronoun questions for you...

10. Careful - you can cut yourself on this number!

No, it's not Rocky Sharpe & The Replays.

It is a sharp number ten though.

Ten Sharp - You

9. This is what happens when your dating app freezes.

When Tinder sticks...

Tindersticks - Her

8. Does Liam Love It?

Liam Gallagher is partial to a bit of Lyle Lovett, apparently.

Gallagher & Lyle - We

7. Big Irish Dogs.

The Wolfhounds - Me

6. Reagan & Clinton, perhaps?

Ron & Bill - It

5. What Captain Kirk sings at Christmas.

It's a carol, Jim, but not as we know it.

Jim Carroll - Them

4. Richard Hall's wine producer.

Richard Hall is Moby. Grapes produce wine.

Moby Grape - He

3. Miner 7th.

Bit of a stretch this one, but it worked for me. Miners dig coal, and get very black doing so. The 7th day is...

Black Sabbath - I

2. Where Murdoch lives.

Rupert Murdoch presumably has multiple homes.

Rupert Holmes - Him

Until very recently, the only copy of this tune I had was transferred from a scratchy 7 inch I pulled out of a skip. Listening to the digital version now, it doesn't sound right without the crackles.

1. Zane's rural havoc.

Only one anagram this week? Shocking!

Charles Aznavour - She

You would be right to expect more next week. I will deliver. Unless they stop me.