Profile for selphie
- Display name
- Selphie Habasa
- Username
- @[email protected]
About selphie
Fields
- pronouns
- she/her
- main
- @maddie
Bio
🇵🇭🇦🇺🏳️🌈 plural
just a silly little catgirl :3
even *before* we knew we were plural. i think our natural inclination when entering new spaces was whether we wanted to use a different identity because the space may seem quite alien to us, but a potential home for some part of us. and intermixing things didn't feel quite right.
there could be a lot of things at play here. people may simply choose to present in different ways depending on the group of people. there are deeper things like code switching, autism masking, and other things in the ND category. and fact is, all of these are actually valid to us in various degrees. plurality has many answers to this too. along with that are also framing which people could derive bad faith from, and yeah, i do fear this (see other long thread), but living in constant fear of being misconceived gets in the way of living and growing
@valeria in the interest of another System project of ours (self-exploration and finding our own individualities), we have also been considering whether we all each just wanna choose our own instances and have one collective account somewhere that boosts each of us.
we don't all have to exist on the one instance.
this way we may find communities that are aligned with each of our interests and vibes
we are figuring out ways we can collectively present while also creating personal spaces (beyond social media accts) that highlight our individualities, w/the hope that interested ppl can get to know us more as individuals. tho these are first & foremost, tools for our self-exploration & expression.
instinct tells me to just add a brief icymi intro, before getting straight into my thoughts. doing anything else pulls me further away from myself, & in a space where we're already half-out & there are ppl who have our backs, just further undos all the work me & my fellow headmates have been doing
mention of hypothetical remark coming from a shared space of plural-aware and plural-unaware folks
i'm glad we have friends who know we are plural and interact with and acknowledge us individually. we also share some spaces where we interact openly as plural with these folks while mixed with less active ones whom which level of acquaintance with us vary, who may have missed us coming out.
and so i'm in this space where i feel real, while simultaneously doubt myself. i'm more personally attached to the name Roses, more than our singlet presenting name. it doesn't come naturally to me to say "I'm also ML", which is my own problem
when i say things, i default to trying to figure out how the other person is going to perceive it, and when it's someone where i'm not sure what their awareness of plurality is, i can't help but imagine "who is this Selphie, and why is she claiming she is this other person/my friend"
and this is kind of a flow on problem of being half-out, and not having told every friend or close acquaintance before coming out in a group we share a space with, nor following up after the fact to be sure they saw it
i worry that unless i turn off the proxies and just post as ML, there's a high chance i will get ignored, dismissed, not taken seriously, when what i have to say (general thoughts that aren't plural related at all) is actually really important and personal.
in order to be heard i have to forego my individual self and speak collectively and exclusively as ML. and like, framing things collaboratively and less individualistically is important. but there's still a big part of me, and my other headmates, that want to be seen
nope. it's still broken
guess @valeria has a LOT of admins she has to talk to if we really want to keep using this instance
wait actually, elk.zone has the best, or at least most plural-friendly, account switcher out of every social media UI i've seen so far? a quick grid of icons, single click to switch. no submenu (unless you want it, thru the kebab icon).
not counting multi column. i know that is a popular style of UI on microblog social media, but i'm not looking for that, thanks. too overwhelming for us (and yes i found it overwhelming on mona desktop too)
also, i am using elk.zone now for desktop (abandoned mona here too) and it seems like some of those broken interactions are... not broken here? yay?
oh my god i am free from the fucking 300 char limit and i can edit my posts its a breath of fresh air
i think she wants it because she wants to post nsfw and you just don't have those features on bsky (at least, not without having to post an image and put the adult label on it and alt text), and even then, bsky australia policy is in now and unless you fork over your ID (which we are *not* doing for any of our 10 accounts), none of those labeled posts appear anyway !
and i guess yeah, its kinda good to have this bc if we need to do spoiler tags / nsfw we can cross post it from here