Monzo Bank

What do a customer ops specialist in Cardiff and a software engineer in Newcastle have in common? Usually a very strong opinion about who will win the Champions League final. With Monzonauts working all over the UK and Europe, our hobby Slack channels are the digital water coolers that keep us connected. Some people share recipes in 'cooking', some people celebrate their teams wins in 'football' and others just need to vent in 'YELLING' (you have to type in all caps on this channel, otherwise you get called out). We’re building a bank for everyone, so that means also making a workspace where everyone can find their people. Even if those people are on the other side of the ocean.

WAYS TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE ON FRIDAYS: - stop scrolling LinkedIn

INTRODUCING MONZO CORPORATE DICTIONARY: Breaking down common terms within the corporate world to help office workers everywhere thrive. DEFINITION #1: NOTIFICATION CHICKEN (noun) The high-stakes game played between two (or more) people on Slack. Both parties wait to see who will hit "enter" first. Example: I won a game of notiifcation chicken earlier today against Greg.

OFFICE THINGS MORE STRESSFUL THAN THEY SHOULD BE: - Being the first person to join a Zoom call and having to make small talk with a stranger - Having a cough that starts exactly when your CEO starts talking - The 3 seconds of silence after you say "can everyone see my screen?" - Greg at Monzo asking if you've had the chance to "look at that spreadsheet yet" - The "someone is typing" bubble in Slack that has lasted for 10 minutes

DEAR MANAGERS, Instead of saying "great presentation", try "I am going to submit this to the Museum of Modern Art because the way you use that bar chart actually brought a tear to my eye". SIGNED, DIRECT REPORTS EVERYWHERE

MUNDANE POLL:

It was so much fun to spend our Bank Holiday in Coventry to celebrate Coventry City Football Club's promotion to the Premier League, alongside their win of the Championship. What an atmosphere, what a city. We knew we were on to something when we said hot coral and sky blue would be a great match. Play Up Sky Blues 🩵

COMING BACK FROM BANK HOLIDAY - A TYPICAL ROUTINE: - log on - see your password isn’t working - panic - notice caps lock is on - turn off caps lock - try again - password still isn’t working - panic a bit more - realise you forgot the characters - try again - realise you’ve been trying to log in with your hotmail password from 2004 - remember your work password - finally log on - contact the tech team to moan even though your memory was the problem

While lots of us here at Monzo are excited for the three-day weekend, we know some folks prefer to work on the usual bank holidays, and choose different days off instead. Having time off on a random day in May or August might not make a difference to you. And there could be other important dates you’d rather take off. That’s why we give everyone at Monzo the choice to opt out of the traditional bank holidays. So if you want to work through May Day and take off time to celebrate your birthday instead - you can 👍 In our customer operations teams, you won't get all bank holidays off by default (so we can support our customers), so you'll automatically have 8 days of holiday to book when you'd like. In other areas, it's your choice to be off on bank holidays or opt out if you want.

a special shoutout to everyone who finds knocking on meeting room doors so awkward that even though you booked the room three weeks ago for your important presentation, you end up apologising to the other people when they walk out three minutes late and message them separately later on saying you didn’t mean to be so loud (you lightly knocked on the door once)