Top 10 Pinoy Makeout Songs

Published: February 09, 2011

Forget Barry White and Marvin Gaye. Not only are they tired punchlines for tongue-in-
cheek erotic Hollywood moments. hey!re also culturally inappropriate"universal
language# my ass. Here$s something closer to roots# something closer to what they do
%ack home. &ids# if you!re not familiar with some of these tunes# go ask your folks. 'f
you!re %elow ()# there!s a distinct possi%ility that you might have %een# uh# assem%led to
their rhythms.
Former *resident Ferdinand Marcos!s choice of soundtrack to %edroom %oom-%oom was
the 'locano folk ditty +*amulinawen.+ 'f you were a ,* student during Martial -aw#
you!d know he moaned it like a cow in that controversial .ovie Beams tape"and /ust
the mere memory of that ghastly sound is enough to deflate anyone!s erection. But if you
were dictator# you could actually do anything.
Following are some songs0arranged in no particular order0deemed fit for everyone!s
favorite activity. Basis for selection could include %oth lyrical content and aural
inducement value# %ut ultimately the synergy of %oth. hey are from an assortment of
genres# %ut notice the ma/ority of them are from the !12s# which might say something
a%out how de%auched that decade was. 3f course# it goes without saying that this list is
purely su%/ective" which may or may not %e the result of personal e4perimentation. 3f
course# ' could %e wrong# %ut hey"whatever melts your %utter# right5
ISANG LINGGONG PAG-IBIG (Imelda Papin)0 6ome of the heaviest lyrics ever
written in the history of Filipino pop music. No other song has achieved the feat of
detailing the progression of a week-long romantic affair. 7Lunes nang tayoy
magkakilala..8 goes the immortal first line. 't!s a%out a whirlwind romance"temporary
%ut passionate. 3f course# seven days# man. What do you do in seven days5 9at ice cream
and watch movies5
YUGYUGAN NA (The Advisors-covered b P!O!T:"Funk classic originally %y an
o%scure ;12s %and called he <dvisors. 3f course# anything funky instantly %ecomes a
candidate for this category# %ut this particular track packs the slapped %asslines and the
wah-wah scratches worthy of any ;12s =ohn Holmes classic. Besides# the word Yugyog
sort of has that wicked linguistic resonance. When &arl >oy sings 7Sige na pipowl, lets
get on down/ sige na, sige na, sige, sige naah it %ecomes an e4hortation to a massive
soul train. ?ross reference@ the final orgy scene of Taboo 2.
"IST#$ SU%AB# (Paro&a ni #d'ar)"6ure they may %e poking fun at a lot of
things"%allroom dancing# disco machismo# etc. But when the ;Huy-huy-huy! part kicks
in# you could %e poking a lot of things as well. 6upplies /ust the right energy for furious
humping activity.
A%ITIN "O AT ISASAYA% (O ()ST * +ompan), Hypnotic# pelvis-thumping
vintage disco groove from the ;12s# with a Bee Gees-flavored falsetto chorus that sort of
e4plains why the 6otto Brothers"particularly Aic# even with his reed-thin figure and
whiny singing voice"were such studs. Many decades after its release# the track has
managed to retain its covert se4ual undertow. >anks high up there in the auditory smut
department along with 7Bongga &a ;.ay8 and 7>ock# Ba%y# >ock.8 .isco may %e
cheesy# %ut it!s the reason why the decadent souls of many 6tudio )B ha%itues are now
%urning in hell.
-ON.T (NO% %/AT TO -O ($ic Se're0o), 6uave# smooth# and sophisticated. his
3dette Cuesada classic sent a lot of yuppies necking in the %ackseats of many a %o4-type
Mitsu%ishi -ancer in the ;D2s. No irony here.

NANANABI( (-idi0h $ees)"< %ig /uke%o4 hit in the ;12s. 3ne-hit wonder .idith
>eyes# then a sultry songstress who actually touches herself in the most immodest of
manners while crooning# once performed on national television and her nipples popped
out. 3nce linked to former *resident 9strada. he title alone is a dead giveaway.
O/ BAB#, (Sin'sin')12Esang ngiti mo la! hahahahaaang "awi na ang aking u!
hahahaaaw. <nother makeout classic from the ;12s. he singing still %orrows heavily
from the <ndy Gi%% 6chool of Helium Aocals"the true sound of a man a%out to lose
tremendous amounts of protein.

BALONG "ALALI" (34an dela +r45 Band)1he riff is /ust pure pounding se4# and
so is the rather pointed am%iguity of the lyrics F7Gusto pang kumainE hindi naman
na%u%usog sa kanyang kinain8:# made even more potent %y the %luesy guitar intro lick#
and the heavy# lum%ering drums. hen you hear Mike Hanopol!s voice.

$4nners-4p6
7"#"O$I#S8 ($ico 3! P4no)"he ultimate macho guwapito taking on a 6treisand
classic and deftly infusing it with massive doses of testosterone. High point@ when he
shifts linguistically mid-way through the song"#$laala.. nung tayoy mag!sweethea%t
pa namamasyal pa sa may Luneta at walang pe%a8 9ven has a narrative interlude
"years %efore it was called spoken word.
U"AGANG (AY GAN-A (Tillie "oreno and $e-An 94en0es)1< song so
%eautiful it can get seriously transcendental at times# you!d /ust want to get up from the
%ed# hold hands# and stare at the sunrise. 9ww.

/A$ING SOLO"ON (Bo S4llivan)1*lease don!t tell me you!ve never heard of this
song &#Si 'a%ing Solomon, may alagang pagong(. <nyone who owns a *orkchop ?.
might have this delightfully bastos record.
BASANG-BASA SA ULAN (Ae'is)"With voices high and powerful enough to spook
the most neurotic Wagnerian opera divas# the singers of <egis have voices capa%le of
shattering every ceiling mirror in a *asig motel.

IPAGPATA%A- "O ()ST * +o!) "Aic 6otto in full sensitive high-pitched male
mode. 9nough already.
SAYANG (+laire dela 94en0e)"Before she %ecame a multi-millionaire %us line
empress# she crooned like ?rystal Gale and &aren ?arpenter. Her rolling vi%rato can
spark intentions most vile. 'ncluding staging a %us strike.

(ATA%AN (/a'ibis),=ust try not to think of the outfits. ,nless you have a fetish for
leather and 3lympian mustache.
Panic in the Streets of Manila
Lourd de Veyra | Published: February 03, 2011
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, along with a couple of Valentines Day movies !ut can you really
"lame us# These $ays, you cant ri$e a "us on %$sa without getting paranoi$ a"out "eing blown to
smithereens &ou cant stop at a re$ light without fear of someone su$$enly pointing a gun to your
head &ou cant park in front of your own house without worrying that your car might vanish in thin air &ou
cant elect a congressman an$ not think that he might "e snorting cocaine &ou cant turn on the TV an$
not look at the 'm"u$sman without wanting to punch the $amn screen !ut we $igress
Philippine society is more than (ust a police report hea$line on a ta"loi$ !ut media splashes blood on
our consciousness so persistently we cant help "ut cower in a"solute terror &ou$ think this was Iraq or
Afghanistan.
)Dog "ites man* is not news !ut )man "ites $og* is news +lthough on this si$e of the worl$, )man bites
and eats dog* is nothing surreal ,t is a culinary fact-an e.perience ma$e even more $elightful with ginger
an$ gin /+ practice , con$emn, "y the way0 !ut what if the )man "ites $og* part "ecomes an or$inary
every$ay thing# Thats essentially the story of Philippine society for the past few $eca$es The one 1 an$ five
2s /who, why, what, where, what-the-fuck0 no longer suffice ,n these times of ten thousan$ ca"le news
programs clawing for your attention, there must "e $ramatic scoring an$ special "umpers an$ title car$s
replete with hysterical graphics 3rime reports an$ "i4arre features get more mileage than politics ,
remem"er seeing-gasp5-"usiness reports on primetime news "ack in the 670s 8ow you wont see any
num"ers an$ charts on these programs unless it $eals with prices of pan de sal an$ (eepney fare 'r
comparative "oasting of ratings
!ut in spite of all that puffing a"out pu"lic service, media is essentially business. 9or every show that
features impoverishe$ lepers an$ tu"erculosis patients, theres a one that highlights gruesome crimes an$
toothless cross:$ressers slapping each other silly ;nash your teeth an$ pull your hair all you want over the
very, very, very late airing of the aptly title$ late:night news, "ut it seems the ma(ority of viewers want to see
$rama, gossip, an$ people winning a house an$ lot an$ a car all the way till mi$night This is an in$ustry that
gives the people what they want instea$ of what they nee$
!ut an.iety an$ unease is e.actly the inten$e$ effect of a terrorist act The body count doesnt matter
The goal is to inconvenience if not paraly4e society as it goes a"out every$ay living This is manifeste$ in
little hassles like security guar$s poking into your "ag with a stick an$ ten$erly touching your "utt, not to
mention ;erman shepher$s sniffing your luggage ,f youve ever trie$ carrying a wrappe$ gift on the M<T,
you know what , mean
>ecently *-Noy chided 0he media :or :oc4sin' on 0he ne'a0ive and ignoring the %right
gains of his very young administration"among the negatives %eing his 4n:or04na0e
0as0e :or l4;4r vehicles! he news media is essentially a %usiness and the cold hard fact
is that crime# conflict# and controversy sells. ?all it conditioning or whatever you want#
%ut it!s human nature. 't!s the same instinct that makes us step on the %rakes when we
pass %y a car crash. 't!s the same instinct that makes us ride roller coasters and fall in line
for the horror train# the same thing that stops us from pressing the remote to linger at the
pi4elated %lo% on the screen.
Fear makes us more alive. Fear elicits an immediate physical response. Fear is the
ultimate motivator. <s children we have %een constantly threatened %y #bebenta kita sa
)umbay or #*ay lalabas na t%en sa sugat na yan pag hindi mo hinugasan. But now#
is it media scaring us5
+arnappin' and car<ac&in'"now those are real threats. While it is slowly turning out
that the 9vangelista--oGano murders are pure vendetta straight out of a Martin 6corsese
plot# you can!t help %ut %e spooked %y the sight of a charred corpse. =+ar<ac&ers> pl4s
=charred corpse> instantly sends a frightful message to everyone. 't!s not enough that
they get your car"they also make sure that you!re charred to a crisp. Maca%re as that
may sound# it is not as frightening as the recent report of a (2H2 Mitsu%ishi Montero
stolen directly from the owner!s garage. Now that is scary shit. 'f your wheels ain!t safe
in your own home# then what5 *olice visi%ility5 ?heckpoints5 *roactive enforcement5 o
Iuote Nelson MuntG from The Simpsons@ haa-haaaah.
But should we %e alarmed5 -ast time we checked# we could still go to the malls and
many of us are still a%le to en/oy e4pensive steak dinners. 't has happened %efore. he
?@@@ $i5al -a bombin's saw a series of five deadly e4plosions in different parts of
Metro Manila in a span of less than an hour@ one in *laGa Ferguson in Malate near the ,6
9m%assy# one in the cargo area of the N<'<# one in the Blumentritt 6tation of the ->#
one in Makati across .usit Hotel# and one in a %us travelling along 9.6<. otal death
toll@ ((. In ?@@A on )alen0ine8s -aB three separate e4plosions in General 6antos#
.avao# and Makati Fwhere an >?G? %us liner was reduced to a twisted heap of metal:
killing at least four people and in/uring J2 others.
he headlines screamed %loody gore. But life went on. We still rode %uses and trains.
hose %lasts have faded into the haGe of memory. 't!s either we!re a tough people or our
attention span is such that we /ust wallow the ne4t %ig controversial issue. <nd ' have no
dou%t those %lasts will happen again# in the face of haa-haaaah law enforcement. <ll you
can do is pray to not %e at the wrong place at the wrong time. <nd# oh# %y the way#
/app )alen0ine8s -a!
Ang Tunay na Lalake, Walang Abs*
Lourd de Veyra | Published: January 26, 2011
<yon sa kumpare at idol kong si Norman Wilwayco at lahat ng kasapi sa mala-alamat na
N- %log # ito ang ilan sa katangian ng mga tunay na lalake@ H.: <ng tunay na lalake# ay
hindi nag-te-te4t %ack# mali%an na lang kung pasahan mo ng load. <ng tunay na lalake#
walang a%s. (.: <ng tunay na lalake ay hindi sumasayaw. K.: <ng tunay na lalake ay
laging may tae sa %rief.
Mag-focus tayo sa pangalawa.
7<ng tunay na lalake ay walang a%s.8 3f course# pag sina%i kong 7a%s#8 i%ig sa%ihin ay
a%dominal muscles"yung mga mala-pandesal na um%ok-um%ok sa tiyan# gaya ng
nakikita sa mga %ill%oard ng Bench. Hindi naman puwedeng walang a%s ang tao"
otherwise# may malaki kang %utas sa tiyan F6aan mo naman ilalagay yung mga
pinagkakain mong ham%urger at pansit# di %a5 *agtitinginan ka ng tao pag naglalakad ka
sa mall. 6i Ga%e Mercado lang ang puwedeng gumawa nun. 3key ka %a# tiyan5:. <ng
tinutukoy natin dito ay yung kumikinta% at nagtitigasang tumpok-tumpok ng mga masel.
6a linggwahe ng mga miyem%ro ng Badingky 6oliman Foundation"a.k.a %erde ang
anino# ka-Federacion# o plain and simply# %ading"7illegal logging.8
Natatawa lang ako pag kumakain kami sa restaurant ng mga kai%igan ko at sasa%ihin
nilang hindi sila magkakanin. <yaw lang nilang sa%ihin out loud pero ang su%te4t ay
gusto nilang magpaliit ng tiyan. 7'was car%s8 sa lingwahe ng mga nage-ehersisyo at
nagda-diet. Hindi ko alam ang moti%asyon ng mga mokong na ito. Huli kong
pagkakaalam# ang tra%aho nila ay hindi naman pagmo-model ng salawal na gawa ng
Bench.
6o %akit sila nagpapaliit ng tiyan5 Bakit sila nag-enroll sa gym5 Bakit ayaw na nilang
magkanin5 Hindi naman krimen ang pagkakaroon ng a%s at karapatan ng %awat tao na
mag-desisyon kung ano ang isasaksak nila sa lalamunan nila. *ero medyo nakakatawa na.
Hindi siyempre maipagkakaila ang epekto ng mass media sa pag-iisip ng tao"kahit sino
pa man# kahit ano pa ang tra%aho mo# mayaman o mahirap# lalake o %a%ae# tom%oy o
%akla# may ipin man o wala. .ahil ang su%te4t# ang puno!t dulo ng mga naglalakihang
%ill%oards sa 9dsa at mga sandamakmak na slimming products sa tele%isyon ay iisa lang@
se4. Health5 *uwede rin# dahil may nagsasa%i na ang laki o liit ng tiyan daw ay
repleksyon ng estado ng kalusugan. *ero higit sa lahat# se4. -umilikha ito ng pananaw na
pag maganda ang a% muscles# dadami ang iyong tsiks.
6iyempre# ang tunay na lalaki# mahilig rin sa se4# mahilig sa tsiks.
<no ang pagkakapare-pareho nitong mga pangalang ito5 Bukod sa %inago nila ang tak%o
ng kasaysayan# lahat sila ay walang a%s.
Masyadong %usy ang tunay na lalake sa pakikipagdigma sa larangan ng %uhay para mag-
a%dominal e4ercises. <ng tunay na lalake kadalasa!y walang panahon sa gym dahil
okupado ang katawan at isip nila sa paglikha--- paglikha ng mga siyantipikong teorya#
mga o%rang makasining# mga prinsipyong pang-re%olusyon para ma%ago ang lipunan.
Wala silang oras para sa pang-araw-araw na H22 sets ng crunches# B) minutes ng cardio#
at dalawang oras ng pagtitig sa kanilang katawan sa salamin.
*uwera na lang kung ang iyong ka%uhayan package ay may kinalaman sa pagkakaroon
ng maskuladong sikmura. 6uwerte ka na lang pag ganoon@ %ina%ayaran ka para maging
seksi F*ero di %a ganun din ang /o% description ng mga dalagitang nagtatra%aho sa
CueGon <venue5: 6iyanga pala# yung mga construction workers at kargador sa pier#
magaganda rin ang mga a%s. *ero suwerte nga %a talaga sila5
6iguro. 6ino ang may ayaw ng Hummer# mansion# at li%o-li%ong nagsisigawang mga
tagahanga5 <ng mga artistang yun# milyon-milyon nga ang kinikita sa mga
endorsements# pero ano naman ang kapalit5 <raw-araw na almusal-tanghalian-hapunan
ng kamote at nilagang itlog lang5 &angkong at tokwa5 Meryenda na 6ky Flakes at
tu%ig5 <ng saya# no5
6o nagtagumpay %a ang aking mga kai%igan sa kanilang misyon na magpaseksi at
magkaroon ng a%s5 9wan. Huli kong pagkakaalam# wala pa rin silang mga tsiks. Hindi pa
rin sila kinukuhang maging Bench underwear endorsers o para mag-pose %ilang ?osmo
Hunks. &aya# mga $tol# mag-kanin na lang ulit kayo. <ndaming nagugutom sa mundo#
a%s pa rin ang pro%lema niyo.