Issue 12

Editor: Sara Hadfield

Editor-In-Chief: Elizabeth Simos
Produced in USSU,
University of Surrey,
Guildford
Est. 2008

FREE

Student Pub Crawl

Faces Nationwide Ban by Ben Pook pear, leaving student unions, police, and sometimes
This Issue: even the hospitals to pick up the pieces.”

U
nions across the country have chosen to
ban a notorious student pub crawl, amid re- The company, which cannot be identified, has re-
cent outrage following the news that student mained consistent with its policy on responsible
NEW Agony Philip Laing urinated on a war memorial. Excessive drinking. On its website, it states “At the forefront of
drinking has become a norm among many stu- our mindset is student safety”. This seemingly pro-
Aunt! dents. Here in Guildford, pubs and bars freely pro- fessional manner and attitude to responsibility is
mote binge nights by enticing Surrey students with again highlighted, where on the website it cites free
deals of cheap drinks. And despite recent govern- soft drinks are available at every venue and on-site
NEW Track of ment campaigns to improve the situation, including medical services accompany each pub crawl.
the Week! ‘Drink Aware’, the general consensus to get ham-
mered hasn’t changed. However, the NUS believe this still doesn’t consider
the danger posed to students, with vice-president
One Day in the The company, which is responsible for arranging for NUS Welfare, Ben Whittaker, suggesting “Any or-
Life of .... drinking events for an estimated 350,000 stu- ganised bar crawl that has an ambulance following
dents in the UK, is being banned from a number behind it clearly has something deeply wrong.”
The VPs of universities in the 45 towns and cities in which
it operates. Student binge drinking has been in the Some appear to have mixed feelings about how
spotlight since 19-year-old Sheffield Hallam stu- student representatives have handled the situa-
Guildford Heat dent Philip Laing urinated on a wreath of poppies tion. On one hand, some students here at Surrey
Spotlight on at a war memorial. Laing has been found guilty by a question why universities have reacted badly to the
Chad McKnight court, where he described the night as “the drunk- recent news “Why should one idiot prevent thou-
est I have ever been at uni”. He now faces a pos- sands of other students from having a good time”
sible jail sentence. said one student. Others believe binge drinking and
Things Men pub crawls represent an expected environment on
Many stakeholders in student welfare have voiced campuses and in associated towns. The event in
Don’t Talk their concerns about the organisation. Richard Bud- question simply provides a structure, which argu-
About... den, vice president of the NUS, said “There is an ably would be organised by social groups if event
acute and real danger to students who get caught planners weren’t available.
up with these nights, not to mention the danger
Upcoming to members of the local population, and the harm There doesn’t seem to be anything stopping stu-
AGMs: Have done to town and gown community relationships,”. dents from organising independent pub crawls on
a similar scale. For example, student reps from the
Your Say! “An increasing number of campuses want to see School of Management host a yearly event which
the end of these events and are doing all they can includes visiting a number of pubs and bars, where
And much more... to stop them by prohibiting ticket sales and banning students are encouraged to play drinking games
all publicity.” With this in mind, it seems the event and wake up in the morning claiming a mild form
will struggle to continue if all universities agree the of dementia. Do private student events cause binge
organisation is detrimental to the welfare of their drinking and antisocial behaviour? Or, are they pro-
Recycle students. Budden went on to explain, “They take stu- viding a service and a structure to a culture or envi-
dents on pub crawls that degrade the participants, ronment which is already there?
Your Stag! put students’ welfare at risk and lead to antisocial
behaviour. They make their money and then disap- Continued Page 3.....

Issue 12 I 23rd November 2009 I [Link]/thestag

 Editor’s Letter
Hi all!

Hope you’re doing well since

we last spoke!

I would first of all like to apologise In this issue...

for this issue being late. We had
some pretty lengthy technical
issues which I’m glad to report
have now been resolved! News Pages 3 - 5
So what’s happened in the past
few weeks?

For those of you who ventured

Features Pages 7 - 21
out in the pouring rain to watch
the University fireworks, good
Fashion I Page 12
on you! I hope you all enjoyed
them! I decided to enjoy them
Science I Pages 14 - 15
from a much warmer and
comfier environment within the
Health I Page 17
Teaching Block.

I hope you had a great time at

Laser Quest! I’ve been to Laser Societies Pages 22 - 23
Quest twice now and both times our group have had some pretty bad injuries from
misjudging an obstacle. But for some reason, it’s still so much fun! However, I do hope
you all managed to get away injury – free!
Arts Pages 25 - 34
If you want to know what’s happening in the Union in the next few weeks make sure you
pick up your copy of the Events Planner from the Students’ Union Foyer. Music I Pages 25 - 27
For those of you who are eagerly awaiting Fetish ticket sales remember, they will be sold Dance & Theatre I Pages 28 - 29
from the Students’ Union, not the University Bookshop so make sure you don’t make
that mistake! Literature I Pages 30 - 32
I am pleased to report that I have been told that UniK will be re-opening after Christmas
so we will all be able to cure our post midnight munchies once again!
Film I Pages 32 - 34
Christmas seems to be sneaking up on us very fast this year. You start to envy your
parents who have just broken the news to you that they began their Christmas shopping
in May and have just about finished! Not really the sort of thing you want to hear but they
Sports Pages 36 - 38
still seem to enjoy telling you every year, despite knowing this really gets on your nerves!
Don’t worry they know we’ve got plenty of time they just do it to bug us!

Sara x
Well, I hope you all have a great couple of weeks and make sure you check out our
Christmas issue!

Editor I Sara Hadfield : [Link]@[Link]

Deputy Editor (Design) I Steff Lever : [Link]@[Link]
Deputy Editor (Marketing) I Jack McWaters : [Link]@[Link]
News I Ben Pook : newsdeskstag@[Link]
Features I Mariam Nasir : featuresdeskstag@[Link]
Science I David Pugh : sciencedeskstag@[Link]
Societies I Bakita Kasadha : societiesdeskstag@[Link]
Music I Mark Allen : musicdeskstag@[Link]
Dance & Theatre I Rachel Gildea : dancedeskstag@[Link]
Literature I Eunice Njagi : literaturedeskstag@[Link]
Film I Ollie Sim : filmdeskstag@[Link]
Sports I David Holt : sportsdeskstag@[Link]
Copy Editor I Ankur Banerjee
The Stag is an editorially independent newspaper and is published by
the University of Surrey Students’ Union.

The views expressed in the paper are those of individual authors and do not necessarily
represent the views of the editorial team, the Students’ Union or the University of Surrey.

Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited

Stoke Mill House, Woking Road, Guildford, Surrey GU1 1QA

The Stag reserves the right to edit submissions.

Please direct all enquiries to the relevant section editors.
 3
Continued from Page 1....

Furthermore, there is already a strong drinking cul-

Students revolt against
ture in many University sports clubs and societies,
including Surrey. Only a few years ago, a number Guildford bus system
of Surrey students faced permanent expulsion be- by Ben Pook
cause of degrading and selfish acts, fuelled by alco-
hol and presumably peer pressure, while away on The Guildford bus network has come under
an organised sport trip. This strong stance on binge attack by angry Surrey students who are
drinking by both the University and the Union is an fed up of the inconsistent service and the
occasionally rude driver. As winter sets in and
encouraging sign for students. The union is respon-
cold frosty evenings become an expected
sible for the actions of clubs and societies, whether greeting at the end of each day, the last thing
these actions take place on trips or on campus, commuting students want is to be ignored by
and the welfare of the students has to remain as bus drivers and have to wait 30 minutes for
a top priority. the next bus.

The general student consensus agrees with the NUS Unfortunately, this has been the case for
"There is an underlying tone at all of these events, some students here at the University. One
which is to drink as much as possible, as quickly as offered an account of her experience, in which unemployed binge-drinking louts, and while
she queued patiently at a bus stop only to be that might be the case for the majority of
possible” said one student here at Surrey. He con-
‘rudely ignored’ by the approaching driver. the student population, it doesn’t explain
tinued, “As the event organiser, the company has to the negative reaction some of us receive by
This resulted in a group of 33 students having
take responsibility for the actions of the students. If to wait over half an hour for the next bus – hypocritical members of the public. Can this
students are relieving themselves over memorials, she was so bored she tallied the number of prejudice explain the poor service received
then the organiser should take part of the blame.” people waiting. by students waiting at campus bus stops
while on their commute home? Arguably, the
This argument is echoed by the judge presiding Bus companies have been hit hard by the route via the Stag Hill campus is proving to
over Laing’s case, who emphasised the duty of re- economic downturn as firms are finding it make our lives harder, rather than quicken
sponsibility required by the company “Some might difficult due to the ‘financial pressures’ in our journey home from university.
say somebody should be standing alongside you the industry. Counties surrounding Surrey,
this morning”. District Judge Anthony Browne con- including Berkshire, have been noted in There are a number of solutions to this
recent press as withdrawing or reducing problem. I chose to live close enough to
tinued by identifying Laing’s actions as “disgusting
some routes and services. Is the poor service campus to walk, whereas friends who live
and reprehensible”. quality in Guildford a reaction to the suffering further away choose to cycle. Either way, the
transport industry? Or, could there be a more general consensus among my peer group
Meanwhile, as we wait for the fate of the company sinister issue at play? is to avoid public transport at all costs. The
to be decided by universities and not us students, reason? We’re all price-conscious students
don’t forget to look out for notices about student Most individuals who haven’t experienced no matter the quality in service.
pub crawls – organised by students – you’ll surely university culture have a fairly poor opinion
find yourself inundated with invitations. of students. We’re regularly perceived as

Vandals sabotage the stag

by Ben Pook The structure was installed at the start of And while the
this year partly to identify the University’s
vandalism will
The stag statue represents freedom and vigour recognition of its geographic surroundings. be perceived by
for the student community at the University University of Surrey and the Cathedral are some as minor
of Surrey. However, for the second time in positioned on Stag Hill, an area of high-land
and irrelevant,
less than a year, vandals have sabotaged the so called because the Kings of England used the University
unblemished structure by removing letters from to hunt on its plains. “This magnificent newtakes the
its base. creation will be a landmark for many years to
matter very
come,” said the University’s Chancellor. “It’s a
seriously. CCTV
Students have found the news upsetting, with wonderful way to represent the university’s long
images have
some asking for swift action in the university’s connection with Stag Hill.” been recorded
response. “I enjoyed having my photos taken and the
by the stag. I hope the university find whoever The 5-metre tall stag was created by acclaimed University is in
did this sooner rather than later,” said Matt sculpture Allan Sly, who, at the opening talks with the
Barnard, a final year undergraduate. “Now, with ceremony, explained, “Every commission has local police in
some of the letters missing, I feel as if half of challenges and the main challenge with this an attempt to
the photograph is empty.” was taking a small image the size of a postage find a resolution
stamp that is well known to everyone and to the matter.
President of the Union, Elizabeth Simos, said making it so much bigger.”
that this occurence was ‘a great shame’;
however, the University ‘acted swiftly’ to act on
the incident and replaced the missing letters.
 4
Can music help you study?
Many of us listen to our favourite tracks while of psychology and co-author of the study. “Even A recent report determined that ‘background
studying in an attempt to relax our mind or if you learn while multi-tasking, that learning noise’ can aid studying. This noise prevents
possibly increase our productivity. Some is less flexible and more specialised, so you the brain from processing other noises, such
prefer to study in silence. But, is there a direct cannot retrieve the information as easily. Our as people talking or the sound coming from the
relationship between music and studying? And study shows that to the degree you can learn washing machine in the kitchen – at this point
more importantly, is this relationship positive? while multi-tasking, you will use different brain I slowly turned up the volume of Eddy Grant’s
Ben Pook questions why so many of us chose systems”. Electric Avenue. Interestingly, this scientific
to hit ‘start’ on our favourite playlist and gear experiment found ‘slow to medium paced’ music
up for a night in with our overpriced textbooks. “The best thing you can do to improve your is most effective, as well as establishing that
memory is to pay attention to the things you ‘vocals and loud drum beats’ have a negative
A number of studies have taken place to want to remember.” Poldrack continued, “Our relationship with studying. That rules out Run
determine the effect music has on our brains. data supports that. When distractions force DMC’s ‘My Adidas’.
These effects have naturally been related to you to pay less attention to what you are doing,
studying or memory, in an attempt by scientists you don’t learn as well as if you had paid full The genre of music, or structure, clearly has
to calculate whether music can help us store attention.” an effect on how well we study. My favourite
memory for longer and more effectively. Also, genres are hip-hop, dancehall and reggae.
these studies have attempted to establish what In response to scientific findings, it seems
genre or type of music is most useful. I need to reconsider my playlist before I bury
my head in textbooks or journals. Vocals are a
According to one report, music has a positive distraction because our brain attempts to clarify
relationship with a number of general activities. their meaning. This withdraws our focus from
Nina Kraus, a neuroscientist at Northwestern studying as the brain calibrates to determine
University, USA said, “Experience with music the lyrics in a song. Ironically, when I listen
appears to help with many other things in life, to dancehall, I occasionally find it difficult to
potentially transferring to activities like reading understand the meaning because of the strong
or picking up nuances in tones of voices or patois dialect.
hearing sounds in a noisy classroom better.”
It seems the most effective genres of music are
However, the study suggested that the ability classical and jazz. These styles often lack heavy
to retain information was more profound in Music is often digested as a background medium drum patterns and vocals, providing an ideal
participants who had a significant experience – meaning we don’t always pay attention to ‘background noise’ for studying. Jazz is often
with music, for example training in an instrument. how the music progresses or even what track is described as a form of complex improvisation,
“We found our musically trained subjects were playing. Poldrack’s report highlights music and within which the brain shuts off and produces
far better at tracking three different tones than studying as ‘multi-tasking’ and a ‘distraction’. a rejection of control. Arguably, this provides
the non-musicians.” Although, for unbiased However, it seems mistaken to assume music is the perfect music for the brain and allows us to
participants, Kraus concluded, “We think music always consumed at the same level as another productively study.
engages higher level functions in the cortex that activity, for example studying.
actually tune the brainstem”, thus maintaining Taste in music is determined by experiences.
the finding that music, in general, can have a I often study oblivious to what music is playing Listening to ragga vibes from a young age and
positive effect on studying. in the background. While writing this article, I visiting Channel One Soundsystem parties have
hadn’t realised I listened to the same riddim four coupled to establish my adoration for reggae
A number of us find music a hindrance on times in a row. That’s 20 minutes of the same music. Similarly, I have close friends and family
our preparations for exams or while we’re beat and melody, only with separate vocals. It who enjoy listening to heavy metal or simply
preparing coursework. I sometimes find myself was only until writing this section, ironically, did I pop. I still question the effectiveness of the
switching my media player to mute as my mind bother checking my playlist. I can’t comprehend latter.
gradually begins to collapse due to the number how this activity is perceived as a distraction.
of interactions – but that’s because I can’t do Furthermore, it seems more appropriate to Regardless of the scientific proof we’ll all
more than two things at once. identify how the music is consumed to establish remain ignorant, including myself, and chose to
whether it actually involves multi-tasking. listen to whatever the hell we want to. That’s
In 2006, the Proceedings of the National the beauty of music.
Academy of Sciences found multi-tasking has a With this in mind, you should be asking yourself:
negative effect on the brain’s learning systems. “Am I focusing on listening to music more than Ben Pook
“Multi-tasking adversely affects how you learn” I am focusing on my studies?”
said Russell Poldrack, UCLA associate professor

Do you have a news story?

newsdeskstag@[Link]
 5
Government Reviews Tuition Fees: Have an impact with your vote
Student Fees by Wes Streeting, President of the NUS

If your local MP remains silent on fees, hit them

by Ben Pook support, meaning it will be where it hurts – at the ballot box.
at the top of the agenda for
In response to the recent whichever government is Last week, the Government announced its long
review of higher education in power next. Meanwhile, awaited review of university top-up fees. Rather
funding, the National Union universities have urged conveniently for our two main political parties,
of Students has urged the Gordon Brown to increase this review will not report back until after the
government to recognise the maximum top-up fees general election – meaning that neither Labour Students are already graduating with over
the importance of student from £3,225 to as much nor the Conservatives will have to tell voters £20,000 of debt, and even universities
representation. The future as £7,000. However, this where they stand on this key issue. themselves admit that this would rise to over
of the sector is the subject request has fallen on deaf £32,000 if top-up fees were raised to £7,000
of much debate as last week ears because the money NUS, and many students’ unions across the a year. More ‘prestigious’ universities would
the government agreed doesn’t exist to raise the country, are not willing to accept this cosy be able to charge much more than others,
a new set of proposals cost – taxpayers already consensus of silence. effectively pricing poorer students out of the
identifying its policies subsidise loans to pay for fees. top end of the universities ‘market’. NUS and
on higher education; Hundreds of us attended a meeting in the students’ unions will be making it very clear to
specifically tuition fees. Wes Streeting also voiced House of Commons last week to urge our local MPs that we will not stand for this.
Unfortunately, this review concerns about the MPs to consider signing a pledge that they will
will not be published until Government’s proposal of vote against any increase in fees in the next Students have the power to significantly
after the next election. ‘no-fee’ degrees. “While parliament, and that they will put pressure on influence the higher education policies of our
so-called ‘no-fee’ degrees the Government to introduce a fair alternative two main political parties in the forthcoming
These calls by the president might benefit a small to variable fees. election. But we have to be united if we are
of the NUS, Wes Streeting, number of students who to make our votes count. Find out from your
seemed to have been choose to study closer to If MPs do not speak out against higher fees students’ union if your local candidate has
answered when it was home for the right reasons, by signing this pledge, they will be named and taken a stand on fees, and if they have not
announced that a student this proposal could lead to shamed, and students in their constituency will done so, hit them where it hurts – at the ballot
representative was asked to a two-tier system whereby be urged not to vote for them. box.
accompany the panel in the poorer students feel
review. However, Streeting compelled to stay at home
remains concerned about
how the government will
for financial reasons, and
find their course choices
Guildford Lib Dems challenge
react to mounting economic
pressure. He said, “I have
limited as a result.” increase in tuition fees
limited confidence that “It is also problematic by Ben Pook sector,” he said.
this review will do anything because it assumes that
other than give universities students living at home Universities and MPs have lobbied in recent Doughty’s challenge appears fruitless;
the chance to increase fees do not need financial weeks for an increase on student tuition fees. considering next year’s announcement of
after the general election”. help. According to the Guildford’s Liberal Democrats parliamentary the review. However, the Liberal Democrats
Government’s own figures, candidate, Sue Doughty, has challenged the promised to abolish fees in 2005 and the party
“Politicians should students over 25, those with borough’s Conservative MP, Anne Milton, remains consistent with its stance on student
remember the student children and those living at to publicly state where she stands on the finance. Doughty added: “Many students at
backlash in 2004 that home all face higher costs in debate. Surrey are struggling during the recession due
almost brought Blair’s order to participate in their to the difficulty to find part-time work. Guildford
government down and saw course, for instance relating The Lib Dems candidate said, “Anne Milton also presents them with some of the highest
many pro-fees MPs lose to childcare or travel. It is was elected in 2005 on a promise she made to living costs in the country.”
their seats. There will be an therefore wrong to suggest students at the University of Surrey that she was
even greater backlash if the that these groups will be against a hike in tuition fees. Since her party The Liberal Democrats were elected to
review proposes plunging helped by having their decided to agree with the hike, she has been Guildford in 2001 and Sue Doughty became
students into greater debt.” fees and loans scrapped.” silent on the issue. Now that the Conservatives the borough’s first woman MP, as well as the
are not ruling out increasing them, it’s time first non-Conservative MP in nearly 100 years.
This month, Business While it seems we are at the that she got off the fence and told the truth to In 2005 though, the Conservatives won back
Secretary Lord Mandelson mercy of the government’s students whether she supports an increase in the position in Guildford by only 347 votes.
indicated that higher and review of student fees, the tuition fees or not.”
further education sectors NUS remains adamant Surrey students represent a critical group of
must start raising more of that engagement between Earlier this month, Conservative and Labour voters for candidates in the next election. And in
their own funds as they face parliament and students representatives agreed to a review which will reaction to their narrowly lost 2005 campaign,
“increasingly tight fiscal must improve. Contact the categorically outline the next government’s the Liberal Democrats are keen to announce
constraints”. He went on NUS for more information stance on tuition fees. This review will be their position on tuition fees. Therefore, Sue
to say, “We will also have regarding the review released in Autumn 2010. However, it is Doughty’s call for Anne Milton to publicly
to look at the contribution at 0207 380 6600. already speculated that from 2012, students announce her stance seems appropriate and
that individuals make to the can expect to pay more for university courses. important for the benefit of students studying
cost of higher education, This helpless acceptance from the student at the University of Surrey.
which we will do through the community was cemented when business
independent fees review.” secretary, Lord Mandelson, announced his Doughty also said: “It is so important now
support of variable tuition fees: “Variable tuition more than ever that we identify ways of helping
The recent backing from the fees provide institutions with a secure income students get through financial difficulties. It is
Conservatives indicates the stream worth £1.3bn, helping to sustain the simply not acceptable to ignore the problem.”
review now has cross-party long-term financial health and viability of the
 The cheapest food and drink on campus. Pop in.

The Union Shop Monday to Friday

Opening



Times 10.00am – 6.00pm

 


 

(Subject to change)

We stock all of your

 

morning and lunchtime

essentials and double up as an
international food store on campus!
      Make sure you pop in
   and save pounds!



  

      

     

 
 

 









 7
“This is Halloween...This is Halloween! Pumpkins scream in the
dead of night”
Alas, once again my favourite time of year has come and passed us by drivers that had to deal with
once again. And for those of you wondering, no, I’m not talking about the inebriated zombie hordes
the deadline for our first essays (just how nerdy do you think I am?!) that descended upon bus
but Halloween. Ahhh yes All Hallows Eve, the night of Samuin (summers routes surrounding campus
end) the beginning of the ‘darker half’ of the Celtic year when the spirits to reach the union. I myself
of both darkness and light are able to pass from the ‘Otherworld’ into (deciding to be sensible and
ours blah blah blah. When young children throw on old bed sheets and not rely on a bus to make the
perform poor Casper the friendly ghost imitations for the night to get union before eleven) chose
their hands on free chocolate. Also better known to us students as one to walk there; though in
of the best nights to get inordinately trashed and throw etiquette out the retrospect that may not have
window along with normal forms of clothing. Because, after all, what been the most sensible idea.
happens between batman and the undead nurse behind the library Considering my outfit it was
stays strictly in costume right? a good thing I didn’t run into

But this isn’t the only reason why I get such a kick out of Halloween;
there are so many others I could go on for hours. Like when else are
too many people in dark allies
for their sake. This followed
by visions of me attempting
Campus Boy
girls going to be watching the ten greatest horror films in history to get to explain to the arresting
fashion ideas for a night out? I can also pretty much guarantee this will officers exactly why some elderly woman beat me over the head with
be the only time people will consider buying a pumpkin, just for the sheer her umbrella before hopping a fence (without sounding like a rubbish
enjoyment of carving the scariest face possible out of it. Collectively, I mugger). Anyway when we eventually all reached campus, everyone’s
adore Halloween because to look your best, people never spend so much usual thoughts of “ugh great, queueing” appeared. Yet this presented
time on looking terrible! Even weeks before the 30th my siblings were a new positive outcome from Halloween. If you get bored it’s always
taunting me about how their Jack-O-Lantern was so much better than possible to strike up a conversation when in costume. You’d be surprised
mine was going to be. Of course my immediate and mature response was how fast time flies waiting to get in when you’re discussing with a guy
to drop everything and automatically start plans on the most demonic dressed as the jigsaw doll queue lengths and judging by the girl dressed
Jack-O-Lantern design that had ever terrified the face of this earth. The as some sort of leopard in front, just how little clothing you need to be
same can be said about costumes, I must admit it was annoying that the considered ‘wearing’ a costume nowadays. The answer would appear to
postal strike fell on the Thursday before Halloween. Still, I doubt there be not a lot, not that we were complaining.
was a single fake eyelash left in the party shop on the high street. So
most peoples’ costumes were ready way in advance. Unless of course On top of this I wanted to offer my commendations to those who really
you’re one of those girl’s whose ‘devil’ costume consists of a slutty red
did go out of their way to dress up. Every year I still find myself marvelling
dress and a pair of horns. To those I say shame on you. Go find some at the new and even more imaginative lengths people have gone to come
fake blood, draw on a moustache and don’t you dare come back until up with the most kick ass costumes imaginable. Of course, to remain
you look like Lucifer spat you out of his pit personally! inconspicuous I shall not be revealing my oh-so-awesome costume to
you all, although I did see some that most definitely deserve mentioning.
Of course, for a celebration of this size, a large pre-drinking house Including The Master Chief from Halo, Lion-O, The best Jason X I’ve seen,
party was inevitable. Enter numerous (and far too seriously considered) Undead Cinderella, Zombie Fred Durst plus Sonic and Knuckles. Also I’d
conversations as to who exactly would come out on top in bouts between like to mention a couple of unusual entries even by my standards. Due to
popular imaginary characters. These included “Who would win in a fight? my questionable level of sobriety towards the end of the evening, I can’t
Satan versus Harry Potter?, The Headless Horseman versus Sweeney fully vouch for my account. However, if there were two guys dressed as
Todd? And Matilda versus Corpse Bride?” (That’s Roald Dahl against a giant rainbow and a head coming out from between a pair of inverted
Tim Burton.) I mean that Matilda chick might be small, but surely she legs *shudder*, I take off my hat to you guys.
could levitate something heavy onto the Corpse Bride right? This along
with various cheesy tunes on the iPod speakers. Whilst amid the heated So another Halloween down and the havoc would appear to be over for
arguments of which TV show theme song goes on next, it was hilarious another year. Although I do wonder if any new dark spirits are around
to view the usually normal sight of girls surrounding the mirror and campus. Perhaps Campus Boy needs another side career in exorcism.
‘touching up’ each others make up, with the unusual additions for the Thoughts? Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed themselves as much as I
evening of applying each others dried blood and making sure the hair did. Until next time.
has enough hairspray to attain that ‘freshly dug-up cadaver’ look that
all aspiring zombies are going for. One can only imagine the poor bus C.B.

SPLASH/Royal Literary Fund Fellow

Sometimes you need a second opinion on that essay; bit clumsy. They can show you how to sharpen your style As essay deadlines loom, she’s going to get busy. Drop
sometimes you need to talk your way through an and say exactly what you mean. The scheme’s funded by in with any writing related questions and Jackie will book
argument or a longer piece of writing. cash made by the RLF from  Winnie the Pooh. you a longer appointment if you need one

For the last 10 years the Royal Literary Fund has been Jackie Wills is the Fellow at Surrey.  She’s based in Jackie Wills, Royal Literary Fund Fellow [Link].
putting writers on campuses around the UK to help SPLASH within the Library and is in every Tuesday and [Link]/Skills/splash/students/[Link]
students - postgrad as well as undergrad - with all aspects Wednesday during term-time. She’s a poet, editor, tutor
of their writing. and journalist. She sees students one to one from 9 each
[Link]
morning and offers drop in sessions as well for an hour
Fellows can help students make an essay clearer or at 12.30 on a Tuesday and 2.30 on Wednesday. You
need to book to see her and it’s best to email [Link]@ 01483 683567
structure an argument. They will share tricks of the trade,
like how to cut words to make the required length, why [Link].
it’s worth reading aloud to identify where the writing’s a Tuesday 9-6, Wednesday 9-4
 8
Plagiarism: The Facts
Coursework deadlines are approaching fast and it won’t be tutors whether or not you plagiarise accidentally or on purpose,
long before everyone will be battling with piles of books and the crime is the same and the punishment no different.
online journal articles, researching the endless possible ways to
approach complicated coursework questions. If you are worried that you do not understand what is and is not
acceptable practice, refer to the information provided on Ulearn,
Have you ever had to think quite so much about the subtle speak to your tutors and check your course handbook. The Ulearn
differences between the words ‘discuss’, ‘evaluate’ and module contains a 15 minute tutorial explaining plagiarism and
‘demonstrate’ before? I didn’t think so…but now, your weeks will how to avoid it. 15 minutes well spent. The Ulearn module also
be dominated by words (or numbers, for some of you), and putting enables you to access ‘Turn-it-in’, a piece of software which
those words or numbers together so that all of your studies pay you can access, send your work through the system and have it
off and you end up in a great position for your January exams. returned to you with your work highlighted where it corresponds
to other sources.
As you sit there, typing frantically away on your laptop, formulating
your arguments into coherent sentences, how often do you stop What happens if you are accused of plagiarism? If the person
and question whether or not the words you’re using have ever marking your work suspects plagiarism, they will pass your work
been said, (or even nearly said), by someone else? to an Academic Misconduct Officer, who will check it thoroughly
to see if there are any questions which you need to answer. If the
We hope you will have heard the word ‘plagiarism’ before now, misconduct officer suspects plagiarism, you will be called to an
and been told what it means, but for the benefit of people who Academic Misconduct Panel. This sounds serious for a reason
sit at the back of the lecture theatres, or who might have missed – it’s a formal panel, and if you are found guilty of the offence it
that bit after a study-related injury, here is the full breakdown of can have real consequences for you as a student.
what plagiarism is, how it can be avoided, and what happens if
you fall into the trap. In the panel, members of staff from your department will explain
where you have gone wrong, asking you questions about your
Plagiarism is academic cheating. It means “take (the work or idea sources. You will get the opportunity to provide an explanation
of someone else) and pass it off as one’s own” ([Link]. and ask questions. You also get the opportunity to bring a
com, accessed November 2009). Even if your source is credited representative or supporter with you – the Student Union
in your references or bibliography, you could be committing provides this service to students – contact your Vice President
plagiarism. In basic terms, if you write down someone else’s words for Education, Nick Entwistle, on [Link]@[Link].
(whether word for word or not) without indicating that the words
are quoted from another source by the use of quotation marks,
you are cheating. It also doesn’t make any difference to your

Plagiarism: The Consequences

1st Offence – if this is the first time you have been accused of Students who are found to engage in ”contract cheating”
plagiarism you normally will be awarded 0% for your work. You (securing the services of another person to do your work and
may have the opportunity to resubmit the work (if the module is then submitting it as your own) are committing an act of fraud
failed) but your resubmission will be capped at the pass mark. and are likely to be terminated at first offence.

2nd Offence – second time around you will be given 0% for the Plagiarism is serious business – so while you are working
work, but you won’t get the opportunity to resubmit. If, as a on your coursework make sure you do everything you can to
result, your course at Surrey would be terminated due to a lack organise your research and make a note of all your sources,
of credit, and you would normally have been entitled to a resit otherwise you risk getting caught out and never seeing the
attempt, you could be permitted to resubmit the coursework for results of all your hard work.
credit only.
If you have any questions about plagiarism or other academic
3rd Offence – your programme at Surrey will be terminated. misconduct issues, contact [Link]@[Link]

featuresdeskstag@[Link]
9
whose works I recognised from my research in the lab. It was
Placement amazing to get a first hand look at the forefront of today's
research, which might one day contribute to life-saving medical
Experiences advances”.
By CoLab “My placement gave me a valuable insight into the British media
industry. Working at Pinewood studios, I was able to contribute to
The University of Surrey is well known for its Professional several BBC TV dramas, alongside production of some of the
Training Year and in the current economic climate there are a year's biggest blockbusters. I'll never forget the sight of a bus-
number of good reasons to undertake a placement. Whether load of extras in full medieval costume comparing iPhones”.
you want to gain valuable work experience, to try out a
specific career sector or to delay your graduation by another “I’m constantly surprised by the things I find myself doing for my
year, there are a wide range of placement opportunities out placement. One of the most memorable so far has to be when I
there whatever sector you’re interested in. found myself busking on the high street with a group of people I’d
And don’t be fooled into thinking you can only work in the UK! only met a few hours before. Life doesn’t get much more surreal
There are currently students working in countries such as than that!”
France, Finland, America, Australia and <…..>.
“Working for an Non-Governmental Organisation has been a great
Placements can provide unpredictable opportunities and opportunity to see how society can take action and stand up for
experiences that you would never have thought possible, global justice. A working week for me usually includes dressing up
whether they’re work related or not! The following examples as SuperBadger-the mascot for our online campaigns, and in
depict just a few of the experiences Surrey students have had. December, I have the opportunity to go to Denmark to see
firsthand the UN Climate Change negotiations, where world
“I've had my graphics used on the Microsoft UK homepage for leaders will try to put together a global deal to protect the world
the Windows 7 launch and been able to play a role in a number we live in from the effects of climate change. There's never a dull
of key campaigns. I've also been incredibly lucky and had week in my placement!"
some great perks, from watching England World Cup
Qualifiers, Jay-Z and Coldplay at Wembley, to England v
Australia at Twickenham”. With third years having just returned from
placements and second years currently
“I went to a conference at the top of World Trade Center Tower looking, this is a great time to share your
7 and met a bunch of really influential people in the field my experiences! We have a discussion board
lab is based in. It was a surprise for me because I wasn't up on the CoLab website where you can
paying attention to the address and then I turned up and was post your stories or just have
escorted to the 40th floor, with these stunning views across a read of other peoples!
Manhattan. It was quite a small conference, only about 200
people in total across 3 days, and so it was easy to mingle with
everybody. I was introduced to several of the main speakers, [Link]

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Reception Desk!
 10

A Day in the Life of.....

the VPs
Who are the NICK ENWISTLE MALCOLM HUNT LISA SHAH CHRIS MOFFATT
VPs and what VP Education VP Welfare VP Societies VP Sports
do they do? Making sure that the quality of our Represent student needs Responsible for all societies and Dealing with all sports clubs and teams.
education is the best. Responsible in welfare and wellbeing. their running including AGMs, Managing AGMs and electing new
for course, fees, resources, finance Trying to make sure that the budgets and sponsorships. committees, organising Colours Ball and
and educational development. student experience is better Making sure all societies work making sure that it runs smoothly. Also
Also overlooks all training for and enjoyable for everyone. together. Managing handover of oversees all the distribution of the funds,
academic reps of courses. A direct Direct contact with university committees and arranging the sponsorships and fund raising events.
representative of students to the regarding your university IGala is one of the priorities of
university. experience and how to make this year.
it better.

09:00 Come in and check emails, respond to any urgent issues and prep for meetings that day.

10:00 10:30 – 12:30 Weekly Finance and Opps Meeting: meeting with senior management including commercial, HR, marketing directors and membership
services director. Includes all 5 sabbaticals discussing financial and operational functions.

11:00 10:00 – 11:00 Disability

Advisory Forum

12:00 12:00 – 13:00 Student Parents Meeting

13:00
13:00 – 14:30 Student Experience: Working Lunch: meeting with senior management regarding how to make the student experience better.
14:00

15:00 15:00 – 15:30 Meeting regarding 14:30 – 16:00 Paperwork 14:30 – 17:00 Making voting cards for the
water issues in library. for AGMs, updating Sports standing meeting later. Organising
database and catching membership lists and going over points to
up on emails and society discuss.
16:00 15:30 – 16:00 Student Fine Levels: talk about fines regarding student standings.
residences.

17:00 BBC Interview: Calling for student Meeting with James Newby: Arriva 17:00 – 19:30 AGMs
representation on the Higher buses and timetables. and officiating new
Education funding review committees.
18:00 18:00 – 19:30 Sports Standing

19:00

20:00 Home Go and try a different sport, possibly

badminton.

Aims • Create a better higher • Listen to students Welfare • Have a smooth • Make sure the handover to new
education funding system. issues and improve service AGM handover for sports facility goes smooth as far
Empower students to achieve provision. new committees. as students are concerned.
this and make it sustainable. • Reach out to more students • Organise I Festival • Organise Colours Ball.
• Make students aware of trade than ever before and make which includes • Find sponsorship and funding for
unions, professional legal the Union more important the I Exhibition our sports teams.
help and support. in students lives by making and I Gala.
• Help make the students and them aware of services and • Make sure all
lecturers work together – help we provide in terms of societies work
strong relationship essential. Welfare. together and in
sync with each
other.
 11
España The Official BUCS Charity
‘RIGHT TO PLAY’
What comes to our mind when we think of Spain? Bull fighting, flamenco, RIGHT TO PLAY is an athlete-driven international humanitarian
paella, jamon Serrano… The heat, oh yes the Spanish heat, not just organisation that uses sport and play as a tool for development of
the weather but the people. Mediterranean, fiery tempers, loud, warm, children and youth in the most disadvantaged areas of the world.
affectionate and vulgar. Both the people and the country can be described RIGHT TO PLAY programmes aim to improve the lives of children affected
this way, and not in a bad way, no not at all. But this heat adds to Spain’s by poverty, war and disease. They work closely with communities
passion and patriotism that draws you in. to set up sport and play programmes designed to teach important
skills including leadership, teamwork, conflict resolution, self-esteem,
Like in many countries of the world, Spain’s cities and villages are so
communication, commitment, respect and fair-play. The network and
different to each other both scenery-wise and culturally, mainly due to
infrastructure we set up enable local communities to take ownership
its geographical location. Therefore in this issue, I will be writing about
of the programmes, leaving a long lasting impact.
Spain’s capital, Madrid, as it is not fair to generalize a country especially
one as diverse as Spain. RIGHT TO PLAY uses sport and play programs to build local capacity
in four strategic areas:
Madrid is one of the more traditional cities in Spain. Its architecture reeks
of Spanish history and shows how old and beautiful the city is. In my opinion 1. Basic Education and Child Development
Madrid is a perfect example of ‘old Spanishness’. Walking around Madrid
2. Health Promotion and Disease Prevention
is like a history lesson; every part says something to you and history is
preserved in its people and places. Puerta del Sol is a perfect example of 3. Conflict Resolution and Peace Education
this. 4. Community Development
Interesting Facts:
Puerta del Sol is in the heart of Madrid. It is a historical district filled with
old amazing tapas bars, theatres, shopping and street performances. It is • RIGHT TO PLAY are partners and the preferred charity of BUCS
situated next to one of Madrid’s main attractions, the Plaza Mayor where (British University & College Sport), Chelsea Football Club,
one can have their picture painted. Stay away from the pretentious Spanish Team Columbia - HTC and Royal Parks Half Marathon.
food there though, since tourists are overcharged. If you go to Madrid, be • Athlete Ambassadors include Lance Armstrong, Mark Cavendish,
sure to explore Puerta del Sol as it’s by the main shopping locations such Joe Cole, Alistair Cook, Michael Essien, Haile Gebrselassie,
as Gran Via and El Rastro (a market they have every Sunday). Mark Hunter, Salomon Kalou, Frank Lampard, James Haskell,
Zinedine Zidane and Free-Running founder Sebastien Foucan.
To me one of the main problems I come across when I go to foreign
countries is finding some genuinely good food, not tourist crap. Always look • RIGHT TO PLAY currently work in 24 different countries including
for the holes in the walls, the little hidden restaurants with their vintage the UK.
charm and traditional food. Juana la Loca is one the best restaurants in
Madrid, with some amazing tapas and the best Spanish tortilla that you’ll Azerbaijan, Benin, Chad, China, Ethiopia, Ghana, Indonesia,
ever have. It is situated in one of the oldest neighbourhoods in Madrid, La Jordan, Lebanon, Liberia, Mali, Mozambique, Pakistan,
Latina (right above Puerta del Sol). But remember, in Spain, restaurants occupied Palestinian territory, Rwanda, Sierra Leone, Sri Lanka,
close for siesta - nap- time - from 3-5pm. Dinner is usually at 9pm, and Sudan, Tanzania, Thailand, Uganda, United Arab Emirates and
clubbing starts at midnight. Zambia.

‘We shall not cease from exploration • RIGHT TO PLAY help over 720,00 children each week with their
programmes.
And the end of all our exploring • 1,500 children were vaccinated over a three-day National
Immunization Campaign to fight the spread of measles in
Will be to arrive where we stand Uganda through the help of RIGHT TO PLAY.
• Your change can make change - just £25 can give a child a
And know the place for the first time’ year’s worth of regular, twice weekly, participation in RTP
activities. And with a uk-wide network we can really make a
- T.S Eliot, 1942 difference – together we are many.

When you go to another country it is important to respect their ideology So why not become a Student Ambassador, gain experience and
and way of life, so immerse yourself. But it’s also about having fun. So if have the satisfaction of having helped thousands of children across
you want to club, be sure to check out Pacha or La Reina Bruja. If you are the world. Try and get involved with the exciting things that will be
looking for something posh however, check out Buddha. However if you happening at the University of Surrey and with ‘Raising and Giving’.
want to do something a bit more Spanish, for example, eat some queso Join us next year for the London Marathon or London to Antwerp
manchego, jamon Serrano and watch some flamenco, you must go to bike ride where we’ll watch the Tour De France! Help RIGHT TO PLAY
Casa Patas. This is an old Spanish restaurant where you can enjoy some achieve its mission to have over 1 million children on regular in RIGHT
good cuisine and then watch some breath taking flamenco performed by TO PLAY programmes in 2012.
real gypsies. So get off your asses people and explore. I’m going to Madrid
this reading week with some close friends and the ticket was only £40
return! Stop making excuses; I’ve just given you some sound advice so run For more Information about the charity:
with it! Peace. ‘Let’s make a difference’ Be Part of the [Link]
Team, become a student ambassador. [Link]
by Elizabeth Pettigrew For more information please contact [Link]/righttoplay
Trung at: m01772@[Link] [Link]/join/Right-To-Play
!
12
1. Grey Studded Bow Back Ankle Boots, £25
2. Black Wool Blend Overcoat, Forevor 21, £24.41
3. Miso Floral Long Vest Top, Republic, £19.99
4. Torque Chains, Forever 21, £7.85
5. Black Rock Facet Studs, Dorothy Perkins, £9
6. Pearl Bangle Set, New Look, £8
7. Black Frilly Umbrella, Miss Selfridge, £10
8. Ziptastic Corsage Brooch, Mansoon, £8
9. Helena Rubinstein Lash Queen Feline Blacks
Mascara Waterproof - No. 01 Deep Black,
£20.86
10. Cut-Out Booties, Forever 21, £15.21
11. Jeweled Zip Front Skirt, Forever 21, £13.98
12. Grey Lace Cup Corset, Topshop, £28
13. Artisat, John Varvatos Parfum, Sephora, £47
14. VANS Box Mens Flannel Shirt, Tilly’s, £21.49
15. Charcoal Superman T-shirt, Peacocks, £8
16. Pom pom Hat, Gap, £11.97
17. Lowlife Belts Lowlife Gems Mini Studded Belt,
CCS, £15.35
18. Men's Shawl-Collar Cardigans, Old Navy, £30
19. VANS Authentic Womens Shoes, Tilly’s,
£25.77
20. Grey Stretch Skinny Jean, Topman, £30
21. Faux Leather Shoulder Bag, Forever 21, £15.29
22. Large-scaled plaid scarf, Gap, £15

It’s been almost a month since school started and we are all struggling with assessment
deadlines and coldly autumn days, but even though temperatures aren’t so friendly at least we
can say that the fashion forecasts looks quite good.

I know that one of the biggest events of the year, Halloween, just passed, but still I
definitely think that we can continue wearing the best costumes every day, right?

Wear moody blue hues but do not forget about the season’s most dazzling thing, the sequins.
Take some over knee sexy boots and you’ll definitely be “the bomb”. And the most important
thing is “be classy and fab”, as Coco Chanel was saying. But, if you are a man, well then
things are different. You’ll look absolutely great wearing plaid shirt and a sob
sober suit jacket.
However, I have to say that I felt in love with louche co co-respondent shoes. They are
absolutely awesome!






 13

would say – the cyber-band connecting us all,

Facebook
Facebook. The very pinnacle of student life some We may all be familiar with keeping one eye at
the back of our heads to anticipate the boss
to. If one is using the internet in a law-abiding,
tasteful fashion, then what is there to get stroppy
with our never-ending variety of backgrounds, catching wind of us updating our page; the very about? Well, for one, yet another infringement
interests, tendencies, beliefs under the umbrella fact that we do this suggests an awareness of of our supposed right to privacy. Endless books
of ‘student’. To meet with a new acquaintance “appropriateness” around usage. We are usually and studies have pre-empted and thereafter
who doesn’t have a profile is shocking, and intelligent enough to work out that our corporate opposed the “nanny state”, and in a country
evokes a kind of snobbish bafflement as to superiors don’t need to know how many shots where the average citizen is captured on CCTV
how this is possible. Contrary to popular belief, we downed last night or the ins and outs of our 300 times a day, it would now be naive to
not everyone is registered, and there exists a personal tragedies (break-ups and Facebook = maintain the view that we by any stretch of the
minuscule, dying minority who have chosen to horrendous status updating) but what many of imagination lead a life uninterrupted and free.
shun it. However, most of us equated uni life us didn’t count on is the increasing intrusion
with Facebook the very moment we became a into our internet use in our personal life. What repercussions does this policy hold for
fresher, and this is a trend not just confined to the average student? Well, like anyone else
students, or for that matter, the young. As students, we already have to allow a certain out there, we too have the right to conduct
level of control as a pre-requisite for being able to our personal lives (within appropriate reason)
Facebook and other social networking sites use ResNet. There are forbidden activities such in a separate sphere from the state. Now, it
such as Bebo, Twitter and MySpace have as downloading unauthorised programmes that would be true to conclude that even at this
become synonymous with communication in affect how we make use of the internet that the very moment in time, we quite clearly are not
this day and age. To our sheer disgust, some of uni provides for us. However, this could be the afforded this luxury in most arenas any longer;
us are logging on to be confronted with a friend least of our concerns... the government’s gaze and power is already
request from our Dad, our Aunt, our Gran if enforced on the nation’s financial status, family
we’re lucky. Sites such as these have become, The Home Office have announced plans to the life, sexual conduct, freedom of speech...the
especially in the last five years, an increasingly tune of £2 billion that will require communication list could go on. But - and this is a big but (no
“essential” mode of connecting with our firms, such as internet and phone providers, pun intended!) – is it not crucial to at least
nearest and dearest; for many of us usefully to monitor their customers’ use of social attempt to prevent yet further compromise of
sidestepping issues of money and time. Instant networking, online chat and gaming. In the our privacy?
gratification...a next to immediate response in face of opposition, the government has been
an age where time has become money. quick to point out that it is not the content of No, the Home Office are not aiming (and I do,
communications that will be stored but simply despite appearances, believe them on this one)
In this vein, the realm of social networking who has made contact with whom and when. to do anything other than what they feel is a
has branched out to the workplace. Employers Minister David Hanson has deemed the plans necessary step in post 9/11 crime prevention,
are awakening to the inevitability of employee as “crucial to the fight against crime”. We, the but the philosophical and social questions this
procrastination using this tool, and have public, are told that this monitoring is essential raises about our rights to not be monitored and
combated this from various angles. Whilst to the (some would say borderline obsessive) scrutinised in what should be very mundane,
some firms have now had to revise Acceptable cause of weeding out terrorist plots, amongst everyday aspects of our lives, is surely food for
Use policies to encompass a perceived threat other crimes such as drug trafficking and thought?...
to productivity, others are embracing the paedophilia.
opportunity for beneficiary use. However, by Vicky Jones
whatever side of the battle companies fall into, Of course, it can be argued that those who have
the issue of surveillance is a constant theme. nothing to hide have nothing to fear or object

Just A Thought
Does reality exist, or is it merely one’s own to reinforce the public that what’s presented is death or a symbol of the female genitalia – but
perception of how they recognise the world real? Are they really meaningful? Let’s use one let’s not go down that route! The reason for the
using their five senses? (Or six for those who of my favourite artists as an example… death notion is that Dali had an experience of
claim to be of the aesthetic kind.) Maybe Neo finding his pet’s corpse covered in ants! (True or
isn’t the only ‘Chosen One’. Salvador Dali (1904 – 1989) expressed False?) Therefore one’s experience can relate
Symbolism in his paintings, providing visual to their expression and how one perceives it, is
At this moment in time, while reading this, you images of objects or figures, which internalised the person’s own reality. Reality can be justified,
could be eating, relaxing in the lounge or the the human mind and the world around it. The but only through your own beliefs. For instance,
library, or even sitting on the bog - but what is ‘soft’ clocks in this painting, suggests Einstein’s what you’ve just read, for some of you, could
it that we do to make us ‘think’ that something theory of time being relative and not fixed. The be complete and utter bull****! Hmmm…
is what it is? clocks appear to be ‘melting’ which derived from So is reality what your five senses perceive or
one of Dali’s twisted dreams of Camembert how you process the perceptions...Because it’s
Each and every single l e t t e r of every single cheese on a hot day; this well-known surreal different with every single individual…so there
word in this feature makes sense to you because piece of art epitomises Dali’s ideology of is no actual reality! True or False?
you’ve been trained and have acquired the ‘softness’ and ‘hardness’ during his time; one
ability to process them as something with a of his central topics was sexual desires! (True or by Roshni Rao
‘meaning’. Knowledge and facts are known to False?) The orange clock covered with ants at
be real, but are they just a perception produced the bottom left, is a symbolic representation of
 14
How space rockets work
O.K, so everyone knows that space rockets are exhaust of the rocket. In accordance with Newton’s and the actual space shuttle strapped to the side.
incredibly cool, but how do they actually work? The 3rd law, as the mass of gas leaves the rocket, the Once the rocket reaches sufficient speed to escape
theory behind them is actually fairly simple. Chances rocket itself feels the reactive force, propelling it Earth’s gravity (24 times the speed of sound), and
are at some point or other, you’ve played with a bottle forward. The faster the gas leaves the rocket (the enters into space, the shuttle detaches from the
rocket, or used a bottle rocket in GCSE Science, higher m1V1), the more force the rocket will feel, and now empty fuel tank, and continues moving based
and if so, you probably remember something to do the faster it will travel. on external thrusters which also work in the same
with a foot pump, a plastic bottle, and some water. way as a bottle rocket.
Most modern rockets don’t quite use foot pumps
and water, but the principle components are pretty Varying Mass
similar.
One thing that may be fairly obvious is that as the
Right, first question that needs to be answered rocket fuel is burnt, and matter is ejected from the
is exactly how a rocket gets its propulsion, what exhaust, the mass of the rocket itself will decrease.
actually makes it move. For this, there’s a very For instance, a rocket with a mass of 100Kg, and
simple principle, Newton’s 3rd Law; 900Kg of fuel, will only weight 600Kg in total after
400Kg of fuel has been used up. Accounting for
“Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” this when calculating the force on the rocket is not
difficult though, especially as most of the time the
What this means is that if one object exerts a force fuel is burnt in a uniform manner. The equation
on another, sending it in a particular direction, then to calculate change in velocity of a rocket is as
that object also feels a force of equal magnitude in follows:
the opposite direction.
Change in V = Velocity out of exhaust
The best example of this in action is with a
wheeled cannon on a ship, as the cannon fires, the
cannonball is propelled away from it at great speed,
however at the same time, the cannon is propelled This is not really any different to a standard bottle
backwards at a far lower speed. Though the cannon rocket. In this case, the mass leaving the exhaust Where m0 is the initial mass of the rocket and its
itself moves far slower than the cannonball, the is not gas from an explosion but water, and the fuel, and m1 is the final mass. Ln is the natural
mass of each multiplied by its velocity will be the exhaust is not a complex network of tubes but a logarithm, an operator commonly used in physics
same, I.E; small bottle opening. Now obviously, water does not and mathematics.
ignite; instead the energy to expel the water from
m1V1 - m2V2 = 0 the bottle comes from high air pressure inside the So ultimately, bottle rockets and stomp rockets work
bottle. As you pump the foot pump, air enters the on the exact same principles as the 350ft NASA
This is precisely the same effect as used in a bottle, and as the volume of the bottle does not grade shuttle carriers. Sure, the internal piping is
standard rocket. Firstly, let’s discuss a rocket using increase, the pressure rises. Once this pressure slightly more complex, and the fuel is a fair amount
combustible fuel. The rocket uses some method reaches a critical point (high enough to force the more volatile, but the physics behind getting a
to ignite its fuel, normally a controlled electrical bung out of the bottle), the water is expelled and rocket moving is still the same.
spark. The ignition of this fuel causes the material the bottle reacts accordingly.
to expand as a gas, just as in any other explosion. See, not too complex! After all, it’s only rocket
This expansion of gas is normally funnelled in some When a rocket takes a shuttle into space, all of these science...
way to increase the pressure of the gas, and thus, processes happen in pretty much the same way,
increase the velocity of this gas as it leaves the rear with a large rocket and fuel tank doing all the work, by Rosh Sellahewa

UKSEDS 2009
The Surrey Space Society hosted the 21 annual UKSEDS 2009 conference here at
st
Spaceport America and SpaceShipTwo. He also mentioned Virgin Galatic’s vision of
the University of Surrey on 7th November 2009. Those of you who were passing through the future, with cheap personal space flights and - to much delight for many in the
Austin Pearce building on that day might have noticed the starry-eyed boffins admiring audience - cheap satellite launch options specifically geared towards small satellites.
spaceship models and whispering “My preciousssss”. Even Surrey Satellite Technology Limited - located on our own campus - are working
with Virgin Galactic!
SEDS - or the Students for the Exploration and Development of Space - is an organization
which, well, does precisely what it stands for. The Surrey Space Society, which is just The Annual General Meeting of UKSEDS was held towards the end of the conference.
about a year-old now, was quite honoured to be given the right to host this year’s Four UniS students, among others, were elected on to the UKSEDS committee: Adam
conference for the UK chapter of SEDS. Stevens and Ameen Ali (both Education Officer), Tom Boulton (Treasurer), Sally Roberts
(Publicity Officer).
There were multiple talks lined up throughout the day at the conference which saw
participation from major companies involved in the field of space exploration and To wrap up the day, there was a social gathering of UKSEDS ‘09 attendees at The Living
engineering, UKSEDS members from other universities in the UK - even delegates from Room; a chance for everyone to discuss their common interests and get to know each
Russia! The good thing about the conference was that there were talks that were of other over drinks. I spoke to new and old committee members of UKSEDS, and they
interest to both people who don’t have a background in this specific subject, and slightly have planned quite a lot for the future: ranging from outreach programmes in schools
more technical talks for the veterans. For undergraduates / postgraduates working to get kids interested in space at an early stage, long term projects related to space
towards a career in this field, a session held by the European Space Agency (ESA) on exploration, to new digital magazines. As a veteran of UKSEDS conference told me,
jobs and placements at ESA was quite popular. ESA also spoke about initiatives started “This conference at Surrey is one of the best ones I’ve ever attended.”
to help university develop satellites of their own (called ‘CubeSats’ because of their
size). In case you’re interested in launching balloons to the edge of space, or laughing in
the face of Hollywood director Roland Emmerich as you conduct studies into saving
Clearly though, the highlight of the day was a presentation by Adam Baker from Virgin the Earth from asteroid collisions, get in touch with the Surrey Space Society at ussu.
Galactic; the same company that our science editor Dave speaks of in his article on space@[Link]
‘Space Tourism’ in this issue. Seating space ran out in the hall as almost all of the 180
attendees of the conference descended to look at pictures of the under-development by Ankur Banerjee
 15
Five People Who Have Shaped the Future of Space Tourism
by David Pugh
With space tourism more than likely to take off on designer handbags, antique rugs or filling his all too well
within our life time, I’m gonna take a look at who we house with leather bound books and giving it a rich
have to thank for even more delays at spaceports, mahogany scent. He chose instead to become the Buzz Lightyear
tacky moon souvenirs and having to use factor 5.0 world’s first space tourist. Buzz is a space ranger from the Intergalactic Alliance
x 1025 Sun cream! and is stationed in the Gamma Quadrant of Sector
Tito flew, with Russian spaceship Soyuz TM-32 on 4. He is the captain of the Alliance’s Team. Lightyear
Dwight D. Eisenhower April 28th, 2001 to the International Space Station is known for his bravery and courage. Buzz believes
President Eisenhower was an active politician from and spent 7 days, 22 hours and 4 minutes up there that following rules are the way people should live
1950-1961, after serving as 1st Supreme Allied orbiting Earth 128 times. their life. Though a great leader, at times he can
Commander Europe during World War II. Since Dennis took his trip (which cost him an be rather unemotional, one of his biggest character
exorbitant $20 million) 7 other tycoons have taken flaws... or so Wikipedia says.
He was the president to sign the National their holidays in orbit. And if our next Space Pioneer
Aeronautics and Space Act - or what we would call is to be believed, We all first met Buzz 14 years ago in Toy Story. A
NASA. This was at the time of the Cold War, and the that number is lonely but fearless spaceman, crash landed into a
space race was in full swing and Russia were in the about to increase, random kids bedroom. Convinced he is the true Buzz
lead. The first man-made satellite, Sputnik I, had a lot. Lightyear, he continues his mission. Though he may
been launched by the Russians, and the Americans not have a real fancy laser, or rocket booster jets, he
were not happy bunnies! Richard does his best, when everything is up against him.
Branson We’ve all seen Toy Story, we know what happens.
NASA began operations on October 1st 1958 with Sir Richard Buzz sees himself on a TV advert, tries to fly and
three laboratories and a budget of $100 million and Charles Nicholas falls, but he doesn’t give up there! He has a mission
a goal - to get to the moon before Russia. It started Branson, the to save all of those disfigured toys, those squeaky
with Project Mercury, and on May 5th 1961 Rear almost celestial three eyed aliens and those weird dolls. And he
Admiral Alan Bartlett Shepard, Jr became the first being of the does it. Against all the odds he saves the day and
American in space. If President Eisenhower didn’t business world, makes it home. He is what every spaceman or
want to beat the Russians so bad, NASA might never there are few woman wishes they could be: fearless, courageous,
have been dreamt up, I might never have written things Rich hasn’t adventurous, heroic and several other adjectives we
this article, and you might be doing something got a business in. would all be proud to put on our personal statement.
considerably more productive right now! Virgin has over 360 brands ranging from cola drinks Buzz is possibly the most important person on this
Neil Armstrong to trains. But Branson’s most recent venture is one list, because he sums up our dreams, our hopes
that’s got quite a few people talking. and our ambitions.
On July 16th 1969 the Yanks won the second
space race and put two of their own onto the The Ansari X prize was a competition with a huge NASA’s mission statement is: “to understand
moon. Neil Armstrong became the first human to prize of $10,000,000 for the first person to and protect our home planet, to explore
walk across the cold dark surface of the moon. launch a non-government organisation, reusable the Universe and search for life, and to
Before NASA Armstrong served as a Navy test manned spacecraft into space. A very friendly chap inspire the next generation of explorers.”
pilot and was a qualified aeronautical engineer. called Burt Rutan won, with his design known as Who sums up their mission better that Captain
So Neil and his buddy Buzz Aldrin went to the moon, SpaceShipOne in October 2004. Mr Branson was in Lightyear? NASA agrees so much that in 2008,
they spend a good deal of time collecting rocks and there like a shot; he immediately convinced Burt to Astronauts took a Buzz Lightyear action figure with
enjoying the relative weightlessness they that they part with the designs for his lovely spaceship, and them on the Space Shuttle Discovery, and Buzz was
had due to the Moon’s weaker gravitational fields. get designing the next one (given the imaginative used for experiments in zero gravity. In total Buzz
Then they came home and paved the way for many name SpaceShipTwo) and thus Virgin Galactic was spent 14 days in space, becoming the first toy to do so.
more manned missions to the Moon and into the born. If that wasn’t enough, we can all look forward to
great black abyss of space. his welcome return to in Toy Story 3, coming July
Although Virgin Galactic is yet to fly any space tourist 2010!
There is much debate between conspiracy out of the sky, you can pre-book your seat (I would
enthusiasts that the Moon landing was a fake. (I’m if I were you, these tickets are harder to come by So there you have it. In a couple of years when you’re
sure you can find many heated discussions on the than Fetish Night tickets at 2100 on the door!) and buying tacky moon souvenirs, and washing your
topic in various online chartrooms.) I’m not here these spacemen will hopefully be ready to fly you up space-ship on a Sunday afternoon, give a thought to
to confirm or deny what really happened, but the in late 2010. the people who made it all possible, the scientists
Apollo 11 Mission inspired the world to think bigger and engineers who put in literally billions of man
and to dream of space! So for a whopping $200,000 you too can experience: hours into making your space vacation possible.
3 days of pre-flight training at Spaceport America,
Dennis Tito 2½ hours of spaceflight at 100,000 km above sea To infinity, and beyond!
I know what you’re thinking, who the @%Ω# is level, going at 2500mph and pulling about 7Gs and
Dennis Tito? Well... he is an American engineer. when you land you get a certificate and a pair of
A former scientist in NASA’s Jet Propulsion Lab Virgin Galactic astronaut wings (not actual wings,
who gave up all that to start up an investment it’s just a badge, like the ones you got in scouts)
management, consulting and technology service.
He is now worth $1.25 trillion (that’s about £74 So your student loan probably won’t stretch as far as
000,000,000,000,000,000 give or take) so he’s a trip into space, but we can dream, and dreaming
a little bit rich. He chose not to splash his cash the dream is something our final space cadet knows

sciencedeskstag@[Link]
 16
This Week in Welfare...
on you with a sustained inevitability normally emails from people unhappy with the level of
set aside for ‘Mr Brightside’ on a Friday night service Arriva are providing to Manor Park,
– you’re thirsty. and to a lesser extent Hazel Farm, residents.

So what do you do next? Your gruelling schedule You may not realise but the bus route servicing
has emptied your normally trustworthy water Hazel Farm and Manor Park is subsidised by
bottle and you’re in need of a refill. But wherethe University. It is therefore very important
do you go for such a thing? that major failings in service quality are
reported quickly so they can be fed back to
Water, one of the most basic building blocks of The answer: across the room, out of the doors, Arriva and improvements can be made. There
life. Animals drink it, boats float on it, fountains down three flights of stairs, across the foyer, is no way that students should be expected
whoosh it out in pretty patterns. Some cheeky through the barriers, out the doors, along the to spend their cold November nights waiting
individuals even fill balloons up with it and road, round a corner, along another road and over an hour for a virtually non-existent bus
throw them at unsuspecting passers-by. through some more doors. Or maybe you service.
could just walk to Japan, it’s shorter.
The ‘Concise Oxford Dictionary’ defines So that’s what’s happening this week in
water as ‘a colourless transparent odourless And then what? Having travelled all this Welfare - trying to convince the right people
tasteless liquid compound of oxygen and distance I’d expect to be served by beautiful that water isn’t dangerous and that buses
hydrogen’. The ever useful ‘[Link]’ adds people dressed in gold, pouring me my water should actually follow their timetables.
that ‘In a 100-year period, a water molecule out of golden flasks while more beautiful
spends 98 years in the ocean, 20 months people fan me with palm leaves. But alas no, Moment of the week: Helping design a
as ice, about 2 weeks in lakes and rivers, I am simply served by a slightly grumpy man potential new accommodation allocation
and less than a week in the atmosphere.’ called ‘George’ who wants me to pay for my system so there’s less worry about final year
Wikipedia says that water is a small bearded bottle. housing and acting as ‘Lord Paramount’ for
man from Bognor Regis. the Archery club’s tournament at UniSport.
How has this come about; a University that
Water actually makes up about 60% of the prides itself on caring for its every student What do you think? Do you want water to
human body and is instrumental in a huge – failing to provide such a simple service in be available in the library and other busy
number of bodily functions. Not only can such a busy location? Well it turns out the locations around campus? Have you had bad
drinking the correct amount of water improve lovely people in health and safety have an experiences with local bus services? As ever
your concentration and stave off headaches opinion on this. They think water dispensers drop me an email to [Link]@surrey.
but it is also vital in other areas such as are DANGEROUS. [Link] or contact me via my ‘VP Welfare’
weight loss. Facebook page.
Think about it... button pressing, splashing,
All things considered, water is good. drip trays! People could be killed! Until next week...

So picture this common University scene: Sigh... Malcolm Hunt, Vice President for Welfare,
you’re kicking back in the SPLASH centre, Students’ Union
enjoying the highs and inevitable lows of And speaking of sighs, the sigh now seems
your favourite piece of revisional media. Then to be becoming an ever present occurrence
suddenly, as if from nowhere, you’re hit by at our Manor Park bus stops. These last few
that most terrifying of feelings, creeping up weeks I’ve received numerous messages and

Would you like flies with that?

by Stephanie Davies 5. Don’t put a hot dish into a cold fridge or freezer as it will raise the
internal temperature. Wait for food to cool down first.
As a new cohort of students begin to venture into the kitchen, it’s
important to remember basic hygiene so that you don’t poison yourself 6. Make sure that any food stored in the fridge is tightly covered
and your lovely new housemates. Here are ten important tips: with cling film or foil.

1. Always wash your hands before cooking. Who knows where they 7. Always reheat food all the way through, and only reheat it once.
have been? Separate it into the portion that you think you‘ll need - you can
always go back for more.
2. Wash your hands after handling raw meat.
8. Wash up before things start to grow on your plates.
3. Clean your chopping board after cutting raw meat. In fact, it’s
better to have a chopping board you keep just for this purpose, 9. Keep your dishcloth and tea towels clean.
and chop your vegetables and salad bits on another.
10. Don’t reheat anything with prawns. Prawns are nasty.
4. Chicken contains harmful bacteria that will try to kill you - always
make sure you thoroughly wash any equipment that has touched Happy cooking!
it, and make sure any next-day leftovers are heated until they are
piping hot.
 17
Binge Drinking!
Party Hard, the story of fun at a cost!
Patrick (not his real name) was having a ball, Saturday Binge Drinking the Facts Pace yourself, drink water in between alcoholic drinks.
night in the union was a welcome break from books,
notes and deadlines. Little did he or any of those with Binge drinking can be defined as having more than six If you are looking after a mate and you are worried about
him know he would never meet his deadlines! Patrick units in one session for girls and eight units in one ses- them ask for help from a responsible and sober person.
was out with six friends in the student union where it sion for boys. Share the responsibility.
was two for one drinks, Christmas and end of term were
fast approaching. Rounds of drinks and a bit of a boogie Risks of binge drinking include: Eat before you go out, this soaks up the alcohol and not
followed by a few shots there was nothing unusual about only stops you getting so drunk but eases the hangover
this Saturday night, or so they thought. Sexual risks such as Sexually transmitted infections, un- the next day.
planned pregnancy and sexual assault
Patrick’s friends noticed him stumble across the dance If your planning on having more than a kiss, make sure
floor he looked a bit wobbly but who wouldn’t after an Alcohol poisoning, leading to coma or even death you have packed condoms.
evening on the booze with his mates. Spirits were high,
everyone was having a ball. Patrick said he felt ill, he Increased risk of breast cancer in women Plan how you are getting home before you start drinking
went to the toilet and was sick. and ensure you travel with friends when ever possible.
Erectile dysfunction in men
He stumbled back out of the gents just in time for clos- What to do if you need help
ing and was carried back home by his friends. They put Increased risk of being a victim of violence and or sex-
him in bed and crashed out themselves after fixing and ual assault Ask Security for help if you have serious concerns about
demolishing a midnight feast of course. a friend. They will be able to guide you in the right direc-
Relationship problems tion should you need more help and call an ambulance
The morning came with headaches and stories from the in an emergency.
night before. Patrick’s friends thumped on the door of Headaches and hangovers
his room and barged in to see how he was and give him See staff in Student Health Care if you are worried about
a hard time about being sick and having to be carried Law breaking which can lead to driving bans, fines, po- yourself or a friends binge drinking ext: 9051
home. Patrick was found dead having choked on his own lice records and even prison.
vomit. The rest as you can imagine is a grim tale, for his Remember the role of your warden or court life men-
friends and family Christmas without him will never be What can you do to stay safe? tors
the same, University will never be the same, the union
will never be the same, and in fact life without Patrick will If you think your mates have had enough get them a soft For further advice and information take a look at the
never be the same. Patrick’s death was totally prevent- drink or water drink aware website [Link]
able and the outcome could have been so different….if
only him and his mates had thought about responsible Be wary of getting in a round, you may drink more than Look after each other! You would never want to be
drinking! you normally would just to keep up Patrick or Patrick’s family or friends and I can promise
you that.
Don’t accept drinks from strangers.

Low Fat Tuna Pasta Bake Top 5 tips for Alcohol

1. Know your limits: 3-4 units a day if you’re a man,
A very cheap and easy to make filling meal for even the least experienced cook!
and 2-3 units if you’re a woman. Drinking twice that
Ingredients: Method: much is classified as binge drinking.

Tin of tuna in brine or spring water Cook 100g pasta according to packet. 2. Make sure you eat before you go out
1 tin tomatoes Chop onions and peppers into small pieces
and dry in a teaspoon of oil for 5 minutes.
3. Pace your alcoholic drinks with water or soft drinks
1 onion
When pasta is cooked, drain it and put into 4. Keep an eye out for your mates, they'll thank you
1 pepper dish with tuna, onions and pepper. for it in the morning.
portion of pasta Sprinkle cheese over pasta.
5. If you are worried about you or your friend's alcohol
2 table spoons grated cheese Cook under the grill for 5 minutes. consumption, come and see us in Student Health
Care for free, confidential advice.
Serves 2 or a hungry 1!

Chat Health!
Trouble sleeping? Anxious about exams? Worried about STI's? Want to know how alcohol can be affecting
your mood? Want to know more about Cannabis? Want to loose weight? Need nutrition information? Then
mail in your questions all in confidence to studenthealthcare@[Link] to CHAT HEALTH for your reply in
each edition of The Stag.
 18
Things men don’t talk about
(Or, why I’ve been growing a terrible moustache)
by Nick Entwistle doesn’t have to be like this.

I’ve been growing a moustache over the last couple of weeks. I started For diseases like prostate and testicular cancer, it’s about being aware of
growing it on Sunday 1st November. It hasn’t taken a lot of effort; I’ve the symptoms and doing something about them. For even more socially
hardly had to ramp up the amount of carbs I consume or seek specialist taboo illnesses, like depression in young men, it’s about being aware of
advice. Still, I’m exercising a lot of self-discipline in keeping it: it looks
your mates too. At University you’re likely to live, work and play with the
terrible. same group of people, you’ll get to know each other quite well. University
is also a time when you’re likely to go through some changes in your
I am by no means a vain man. Those who know me, know my fashion life - whether they are changes you wanted or not. Men are less likely
sense or have seen my handwriting will know I’m not particularly bothered to recognise or acknowledge that they are stressed, and that’s where
by aesthetics. Nevertheless, a quick glance in the mirror is enough to you come in. Keep an eye out for your mates. Everyone feels a bit down
remind me that I do look like a complete mess at the moment. sometimes, but if that feeling is persistent you should talk to someone
about it. And if you’re the person your mate chooses to talk to, take them
The most interesting thing about all of this is that if I, a male-grooming seriously.
and fashion philistine have noticed this facial travesty, why has no-one
else? Barely a handful of friends have commented on it and in my job I So, much like I want people to challenge the silliness of my moustache,
can meet literally hundreds of people a week. It’s fairly simple; students I’d like you to challenge your approach to looking after yourself and your
and staff at Surrey aren’t unobservant, there are just some things that mates. We have great Student Care Services on campus, including a
people don’t comment on. doctors’ surgery and a centre for wellbeing offering counselling and
other support services. They’re great at what they do; please use them
I started growing my ‘tache because of Movember. It’s a worldwide when you need them.
celebration of all things moustache related but it also serves an important
role of raising money and awareness of issues around men’s health, Movember is an annual, month-long celebration of the moustache,
mainly around prostate cancer and male depression. highlighting men’s health issues, specifically prostate cancer. Movember
works towards helping to change established habits and attitudes
For a variety of reasons, men’s health can be a taboo subject. We rarely and make men aware of the risks they face, thereby increasing early
talk about our own health, and we definitely don’t start up conversations detection, diagnosis and effective treatment. Find it online.
about the health of our mates. We access health services less frequently
than women, and when we do go to the doctors it tends to be later rather Nick Entwistle is normally clean-shaven and can often be found in the
than sooner, making early detection and treatment of common diseases Students’ Union, representing you on academic matters in his role as
more difficult. When you consider that on average British women live 5 the Vice-President Education [Link]@[Link]
years longer than British men this starts to make us look pretty silly. It

by Andy Vale & Ben Coren

Pac-Man’s Wedding Corner fan of Pac-Man’s Wedding on Facebook to know But the secrets were shit (it will be filmed and put
when we’ll be struck by generous urges next. on the Facebook group, 100 free Kanye shades
This Week’s Tip: How To Get Into Fights and it was to be 16+. Lame.) The organiser
lost their laptop. The event never happened.
Fights are fun. We all want more but we don’t However it still caught our imagination. The last
always know how to get into them so allow us secret was never revealed to us. What could it
to help. One way would be to start a mosh-pit. be? It was definitely going to be one of these:
Anywhere. Rubix, Lecture Theatres or even
the queue at Amigo. Start nodding your head, Wes Brown
then start banging it, then begin to violently Farmville LIVE
thrash out and quote your favourite Megadeth Another 100 FREE Kanye Shades
lyrics while leaping into people. Someone will A Dr Pepper Fountain
definitely punch you. Thus you have started a Fingering LIVE
fight. You could also find large strangers and 2 for 1 on all soft drinks
whisper sexual and violent things into their ear, Name Tags
although this could backfire. They could like you This Week’s List: One Big Secret Comes To A FREE 1 year subscription to Bebo
and want to indulge in a consenting act of love. Guildford! What was the final secret? Sting LIVE @ The Boileroom
That’s next weeks tip. Earlier this year a Facebook group called ‘One A photographer from the Surrey Advertiser
Big Secret Comes To Guildford’ was set up. It A Nipple Museum
This Week’s Fact promised a “HUGE, and we mean HUGE” event Cleg & Clem
with international selling artists, top DJs and all Kurt Angle DVD Launch
On our show we recently gave away a Mega Drive manner of Skins-esque madness up and down Jedward (oooooooooooh)
with 2 controllers and 7 games (including Sonic, the country. The details of the event were to be 4 extra MySpace pics
Streets Of Rage and SUPER Wrestlemania). If released as secrets when the group hit a certain Fighting
you missed it then don’t cry because we give number of members. A good idea in theory. KISS
away a games console every month. Become a
 19
Halloween Tickets Sold Out Mega Quick,
But Some People Were Clever And Got Them For Free
by Andy Vale The O2 and is a big event in the media calender sponsored by Radio
1 and Global Radio (Capital FM, Heart, XFM, Classical FM....) We have
We give away a pair of Flirt tickets every Friday between 4-7pm and been nominated in the categories of Best Female for Josie Standbrook,
Halloween was no exception. All you had to do was guess the number of and Best Chart Show for Phill Nathan, Bex Wood and Andy Vale. Last
people in the queue at Rubix and they could’ve been yours. Next time year we had dance-offs, stage invasions and even moderate success.
you miss out, give us a listen and try to win. Also, saying “I won my tickets (Bronze in Best Newcomer for Andy Vale.)
on the radio” is a much better story than “I queued in the bookshop for 3
hours behind a hot girl that I didn’t have the guts to speak to.” Since coming back from summer we have been inundated with new
talent starting shows. Take a trip to the website ([Link]) to see
Speaking of give aways, we now give away a retro games console every our current schedule and find something you’d rather like to hear. If
month. Our first was the Mega Drive and for December we are torn you’re not in when it’s on then you can always use our new Listen Back
between a NES and a Game Gear - can’t decide. Make sure you become feature to listen to the latest episode of any show.
a fan of Pac-Man’s Wedding on Facebook to find out about it.
In other news, we are hoping to hold an Anne Summers party at the
In late November there is the UK Student Radio Awards. This is held at Union very soon. Look out for updates!

“I’ve Done 3 Years At Uni, Got My Degree

and Want A Job In ‘Media’”
Well well well, don’t we all? But getting a job anywhere in the media is did look over so I got some recognition.
incredibly tricky. I often hear old heads in the industry lamenting about
the amount of times when some fresh-faced young graduate pops out Anyway I was taken to the BBC Asian Network sets and taken to the
and tells them that they’d love to get involved with the Media, but they studio where I met the top Asian network presenters Raj & Pablo and
don’t know what they want to do in it and they’ve not got any experience. their editor Rajni from the ‘Love Bollywood’ show, who rub their shoulders
What this says to people who’ve made a living out of radio/film/TV/press with the most famous of A-listers in the Bollywood industry on a regular
is that here is a young upstart who just wants meet famous people and basis. I was quite star-struck as I’ve been listening to and admiring these
have a relatively easy life. Not the sort of impression you want to make to guys on the radio ever since I can remember.
a jaded old pro who is very careful about who they give jobs to.
Once in the studio I see these guys operating with great perfection. I not
University is one of the best places to gain experience in media and only admire the excellent studio and the technology that they work with,
student radio has led to full-time employment and exciting careers for but also the quality and precision of how the show is executed.
hundreds of powerful people in the industry. It doesn’t just look good on
your CV - it gives you skills, memories and experience that no amount of When the live interview began, initially I was nervous but these guys Raj
CV workshops could ever give. It’s easy to get involved either on or off air; & Pablo were so welcoming and made me feel so comfortable, as if I had
right now we are looking for chatty people to fill daytime slots but there known them for ages. Also I must say they were hilarious! Furthermore
are numerous other roles. I do believe because of my understanding and passion for Bollywood, I
was confident and comfortable in what I was saying.
One of our presenters, Hannah Pike, has been on a two-week work
placement at Absolute Radio, which would’ve been very difficult to get The review I felt had gone very well; I had done my homework thoroughly
if it weren’t for her involvement with GU2. Another example of where on the particular movie and feel that I expressed my views clearly with
student radio can take you in the very near future is provided here, Kiz the support from my research.
Ahmed used his experience on GU2 to get a slot reviewing London’s
Dreams on the “Love Bollywood with Raj & Pablo” show on BBC Asian Moreover I do believe that Raj, Pablo and their editor were also very
Network. Here is his diary of the day: pleased on how it went, which is fundamentally more important to me
as my greatest ambition is to present a Bollywood-oriented radio show
“I was waiting to go on air with the top BBC Asian Network presenters to on a national level, specifically for the BBC Asian Network. This has been
review the latest film released from Bollywood superstar Salman Khan - even more compelling from the feedback I have received from my peers
‘London Dreams’. who have listened to the show.

Whilst waiting to be seen I was sitting in the reception chatting with the For your local dose of the best of Bollywood, Bhangra and Desi hits along
coolest security guard EVER!! Billy, who is such a dude! Billy was filling with gossip catch me on GU2 every Sunday from 3pm! “
me in on his experiences with celebrities who have been in and out over
his 10 years on the job. Whilst chatting to the main man Billy, guess who Listen to us on air: 1350am
walks in … none other than the top gameshow host, radio DJ, funny man Listen to us online: [Link]
Vernon Kay. He casually walks into the BBC (Radio 1) building, I was Text the studio: 07575 073 400
going to ask for an autograph or photo but he was on the phone, but he
 20

Ask Angelique Anything..... Get it off your chest

Hey everyone, hope you’re all enjoying
your time at Uni. I’m your new Agony Aunt. I don’t want to cheat on my girlfriend
Ask me anything - and I do mean anything Dear Angelique, Dear Chris,
- and I will do my best to answer you. You
can talk to me about money issues, re- I’ve got a girlfriend back home but I You made the decision when you came here
lationships, sex, drugs, music - whatever like someone here. It’s so tempting to to stay with your girlfriend, either stick to your
you want to. I'll give you the best advice cheat on her but I don’t wanna be that word or tell her that it’s not working. You sound
kind of guy. I have to admit that the like you’re in deep with your girlfriend back
I can possibly think of, but remember - I
attraction to this girl at Uni is purely home so personally I don’t see why you would
will say exactly what needs to be said. I physical but I just can’t help myself. want to ruin it. You say you don’t want to be
won't water it down so if you want some- Help. ‘that guy’ well I’m pretty sure no girl would want
one to be brutally honest with you drop to be with ‘that guy’ so quite simply.. Don’t be.
me an email. Chris If you’ve got the power to resist then you’ll be
one more great catch on this earth, if not.. Well

I’m feeling homesick.... I’m sure you can figure that out.

Angelique x
Hiya Angelique,

I’m a first year international student. I’m

having a hard time fitting in with my house-
mates and I don’t really have many friends
I want a fresh start....
out here. I’m feeling a bit homesick, I don’t Ok let’s talk serious,
mean to sound sappy but it’s really bothering
me. Can you offer any advice? I need your help. Before I came here I had a bit of a reputation and now I’m here I want
to make a fresh start. I did everything you could possibly think of and I got ridiculed for it
Mr Unsociable constantly. A few people from my old school came here with me and I’m scared they will tell
everyone what I used to be like. What can I do to stop this?
Hey Mr Unsociable,
Troubled
There are plenty of opportunities for you to
Welllll,
make some friends. Have you tried talking to
your flatmates? I’m sure they’ll be more than
willing to go out, organize something, a night That’s an interesting situation. I commend you for wanting to turn over a new leaf but I’m
out at Rubix won't hurt. As an international afraid you can’t keep running from your past. I’m not going to tell you to lie your way through
student there are many group events that Uni ‘cause there is no point. Think about it. These people don’t know you; if you don’t want
happen to help you to meet new people. It’s them to know all of your business then I suggest you simply don’t tell them. As for the people
never too late. Take every opportunity you’re that came here with you, you should be chuffed that they’re so interested in your life. This
given to make new friends. Trust me, you’ll is a new start for you all. If you’re really worried that they’ll say something you don’t want
find your way soon enough. them to then maybe you should try having a talk with them. Tell them that you would really
appreciate it if they could forget the past and allow you to start anew. That’s about all the
Angelique x advice I can give you. Good Luck!

Angelique x
Useful Websites:
Need someone to talk to? Get it off your chest
[Link]

Ask Angelique Anything.....

General advice
[Link]
Drug advice
[Link]
Self harm and Abuse advice
Email: [Link]
Sexual health advice
askangeliqueanything@[Link]
21

Aries (20th March – 20th April)

Horoscopes they are not acting this way because they don’t have time for you, and it
is because you don’t have enough time for them. Just give them a little
This week you need to put your thinking cap on and do some catching attention and things will be back to normal.
up and studying. It has been one big party for you since you arrived and
it’s about time you took the backseat for a while. If you don’t start now, Libra (20th September – 21st October)
you will become agitated and easily angered due to stress. Make a list
or go buy a planner, it’s all going to be fine once you have organised Sometimes accepting that you are wrong can be the only right thing to
yourself. do. Not easy but necessary. Being overbearing is part of your personality
and just taking a step back and letting other people have control can
Taurus (21st April – 20th May) do a lot for you.

Being a team leader and bringing people together to work effectively Scorpio (22nd October – 21st November)
is like second nature to you. This week will bring you good news from
something which you have been working hard on and you will be greatly Take what life throws at you with a pinch of salt. Not everything has
praised for your excellent effort. Try not to become too full of yourself to be the problem-of-the-century; sometimes just letting things be the
and you will be liked as well as respected. way they are is the best thing you could do. If you are already in a
relationship, it is worth it to treat the special someone to some fancy
Gemini (21st May – 20th June) dinner, “just because it’s November” is a good reason.

Rocky times are ahead for you this week, whether it’s with your friends Sagittarius (21st November – 21st December)
or loved ones. Tread carefully and remember to be level-headed and
lend to support to those who need it most. An important decision will Money matters will torment you this week but don’t be disheartened
have to be made, don’t be too hasty! Things brighten up by the end of because it is only the beginning of the year and you have plenty of time
the week, maybe a loved one returns or you meet a special someone? to stop yourself from getting into overdraft. Be sensible; if you don’t
Remember, there’s a silver lining on every cloud! NEED it then don’t buy it. It is as simple as that, self control is vital near
Christmas time!
Cancer (21st June – 21st July)
Capricorn (22nd December – 20th January)
Your feisty and flamboyant nature can get you into trouble. It’s only
sensible to keep it in check. If you like this person, just let them know Keeping your wits about you will be crucial this week, it going to be
because acting out like this may get you attention but it also may a tough week with emotions running wild. Keep a clear sight of who
ruin your only chance at this. Sometimes being calm and looking at your friends are and don’t be misguided by false smiles. Work will be
situations from their point of view can solve the problem, it may hurt a challenging endeavour but determination will get you through this
your pride but your relationship will grow. week. Be positive and remember handwork always pays off.

Leo (22nd July – 22nd August) Aquarius (21st January – 18th February)

You may feel like you are on top of the world this week, but don’t be Being level-headed and always being right can be tiring. It’s time you
lulled into a sense of false security. Be ready for the unexpected and took a break and let you lose control. Just get out there and be the
stay one step ahead of the game. That said, your personal life will be confident, loud and fun person you are, you deserve a break. Just
disturbed by a new character. Don’t judge too freely and keep an open remember to take aspirin and water and you will be good to go the next
mind. Who knows that person may end up becoming someone special. day. Sweet.
Love is written in the stars for you this week.
Pisces (19th February – 19th March)
Virgo (23rd August – 21st September)
It’s time to take control of your life and be the person that you want to
This week is THE week for you. Not only is stuff looking up studying be. New friendships and beginnings are written in the stars for you this
wise but you are drawing attention love life wise as well. A bit of drama week. Try to not lose sight of who you are and keep your mind open to
should be expected this week from some close friends but remember - all possibilities. Keep your aims clear because soon you will be making
your dreams into reality if you try hard enough.
Surrey Life CHASE Carol Concert
A special evening of musical performances, popular carols and celebrity readings to raise money for CHASE hospice care for children.

Tuesday 15 December 7pm

Holy Trinity Church, Trinity Churchyard
Guildford GU1 3RR

Tickets: £15 each including entrance to the post concert wine and canapés reception.
Early Bird offer: Book before 23 November and pay just £12 per ticket.

Call CHASE Fundraising Office 01483 454213 to book tickets.

 22
The Creative Writing Society
The Creative Writing Society is for all those interested in writing, from any subject background. We play word games, look at new ways of combining
words, write poetry or prose, and of course, socialise. We will have trips to places of inspiration to write. We will go to poetry recitals and showcase
our work in a big event at the end of the semester. This really is an opportunity for all those who are interested in writing, and who knows, maybe
your work will even appear in The Stag!

We meet every Monday at 5pm; the next meeting will be on Monday 23rd November in Wates House. For more information email mk00112@surrey.
[Link] and join our Facebook group ‘Surrey CW Soc’.

ACS Presents: NEW SOCIETY

‘Believe, Hope, Motivate’
by Bakita Kasadha “I really enjoyed it, I learnt a lot
and laughed a lot and it was a
RATIFICATIONS
October is National Black good evening out. Definitely The Societies Standing was to help those with their
History Month and to recommend it; I will be back held on 2nd November 2009 concerns. The society is
commemorate this, the next year.” - Eunice Njagi where eight new societies open to people who are
Surrey African Caribbean were approved. These include: interested in Asperger’s
Society (ACS) held Believe I personally enjoyed and/or working with
Hope Motivate, ‘an evening Emmanuel the Magnificent, 1. The Cheese Appreciation
celebrating black history the acrobats from Ghana who those with Asperger’s.
through an array of cultural could wind their waists and
Society - A light-hearted
performances’. This tribute to balance spinning buckets society whose President 6. Banking, Investment
black history involved many on the end of umbrellas Jeremy says, “We really and Finance Society -
acts including Miss London supported by their chins...now like cheese, we like to Interested in analysing
(a children’s TV presenter), who says men can’t multi- eat cheese and go to and discussing
dancing by Dee and Alarpe, task?! cheese-related places!” financial markets.
songs performed by Cynikal,
Seyi and Natalie May, and Charlie’s poems (one written 2. Ahul Bayt (aka Shiite/ 7. Engineers Without
a special appearance from by her and the other by
MOBO award winner Victizzle Marilyn) gave an interesting Shi’a) Society - A branch Borders - Aims to
(to name but a few). A classy, insight on ‘Why God Made of Islam. They represent train students to
colourful and vibrant fashion Me Black’. I loved the dancing 15% of those who follow work in developing
show - which displayed casual, by Persuasive who popped, Islam and are mainly countries and help
evening and traditional outfits locked and did things I couldn’t found in the Middle East with water sanitation.
- alternated between acts. and wouldn’t dream of doing, and parts of Pakistan.
The evening was hosted by but did thoroughly enjoy. The 8. Jazz Band: “For
comedian Simply Andy. performances by Seyi and
Cynikal were fantastic (it is 3. MTO Sufi Society - This all grades...to
“This [night] was excellent. nice to see some home grown is a form of Sufism; develop new skills.”
Things like this need to happen talent) and they are currently a method/discipline
more often; with the Uni in touring England promoting to self-knowledge The Societies Editor of ‘The
support.” – Ishmael (Vice- themselves. by asking questions Stag’ would like to give a
President of ACS 2008/09) such as “Who am I?” huge welcome to these new
It was great to see a collection societies and hopes they will
“Black History Month was one of high-spirited talents
the most amazing nights I have from an African/Caribbean 4. Saudi Society - Aims be a successful over the next
experienced. It was a night all background. The ACS reminds to represent the 150+ academic year and beyond.
black people from different everyone to celebrate Saudi students in the
countries came together to their heritage, while being University of Surrey. Furthermore, a warm welcome
celebrate this special month. mindful of the hard work of back to the Creative Writing
The organisers of this event their ancestors. We must 5. Asperger’s Society - Society, which after some
were bang-on with each appreciate our opportunities “Run by people with time in dormancy has been
diverse talent, especially and place in this world while
with the stand up comedy. giving something back to it so
Asperger’s, for people revived by Mel Kerrison.
The stand up comedy [Simply that in turn, with time, we too with Asperger’s”. This
Andy] was so hilarious. He will be celebrated. society aims to educate
could make us laugh between people, eradicate
every act. ” - Moses Kasule Well done to the Surrey African prejudice and would like
Caribbean Society!

societiesdeskstag@[Link]
 23
Do>more Volunteering
Keep an eye out for the society around the University, as we will publicise
volunteering opportunities through various media.

Have an idea? Come share your ideas and suggestions with us and we can
work with you to make it happen! Whether you want to organise a fundraising
event or volunteer abroad, we want to hear from YOU.

Whether you are new to volunteering before or do it regularly, we want to hear

from you.

Do>More is all about providing you with access to volunteering opportunities

that will enable you to learn life skills. Do>More also brings opportunities to
make friends, have fun and settle into the University and local area.

Whether you can spare a month volunteering overseas, an evening a week or

attending just one of our events your talents, skills and enthusiasm will make
a difference.

English Literature Society Upcoming AGMs

Annual General Meeting (AGM) Wednesday 25th November – Korean Society
12:00pm, Students’ Union Committee Room
The English Literature Society AGM was Treasurer – The person who looks after
held on 10th November 2009. There the funds and monetary issues. Thursday 26th November – Ahlul Bayt Society
was a good turnout of around 45 people 5pm, TB01
but “more 1st years please!” These positions have been filled by
Ollie Latham (President), Sarah ‘Gulli’ Monday 30th November – Nepalese Society
The main positions available at this AGM Gulliford (Vice-President/Secretary) 5pm, Students’ Union Committee Room
were: and Mariam Nasir (Treasurer). Two new
positions have been created and filled Tuesday 1st December - Banking, Finance and Investment 5pm, Rubix
President - Someone who acts as the face by Kim Harris (Chief Events Officer) and
of the society. A general organiser of Kervan Blair Gordon (Freshers’ Liaison Tuesday 1st December – Cheese Appreciation Society 5pm, TB01
events and the first point of call for Officer).
Thursday 3rd December – Entrepreneurs Society
information
5pm, Student’s Union Activities Centre
For more info about this society search
Vice-President / Secretary – Someone for ‘The English Literature Society of the Monday 7th December – Aspergers Society
who creates briefs on what is University of Surrey’ on Facebook 5pm, Students’ Union Committee Room
discussed at meetings so that they
are available to those who could not
attend. Have your say!
Run for a position or come along to vote!

How many light bulbs does it take to change a planet?!

Hello from the People and Planet Society! We are the Surrey branch of
People and Planet, the largest nationwide student network campaigning Now pay close attention - the first screening is this Wednesday 18th
on global poverty and the environment. Our main aim is to campaign, November at 2pm in 01AC01 (opposite Amigos), and the second is
spread awareness, educate and have FUN (all in the name of making the this Thursday 19th at 6pm in 02AC01. Entrances to both can be found
world a better place). opposite the bike shed next to Amigos. After each screening, there
will be a couple of short speeches, including one from the University’s
We are a friendly, welcoming group; run democratically without hierarchy. Sustainability Officers, followed by an organic wine reception with other
Every member has as much power as everyone else! If you turn up to our ethical refreshments.
meetings* you will learn lots and gain loads of skills such as organising,
networking, negotiating, designing etc. Moreover, you will have a chance Join the People and Planet Society if you want to make new friends, learn
of meeting many lovely new people. The joining fee is a grand total of £0; and take action on poverty and the environment! The society can be
so you have no excuse! what you want it to be so come along to the meetings and TAKE PART!

We are holding two free film screenings of ‘The Age of Stupid’, one of the * We meet every Wednesday at 6.30pm in TB 20B!
most talked about films of the year. Ken Livingstone states, “Every single
person in the country should be forcibly made to watch this film.” For further information please contact Nat Harding on nh00044@surrey.
[Link]
We will be raffling off 10 Fetish night ticket reservations, for the Union,
during both the 2 screenings. Surrey’s People and Planet Society
 Stationery and cards

Fairtrade gifts

University Souvenirs

Branded University Clothing

T: 01483
Lunchtime Meal Deals, Snacks689169
and Drinks
E : bookshop@[Link]
[Link]/bookshop
[Link]/bookshop
Friendly staff will help you find what
you are looking for

Opening Hours:
Monday to Friday
Opening Hours 8.30am - 6pm
Monday to Friday Stationery and cards
8.30am - 6pm
Fairtrade gifts
T: 01483 689169 Stationery & cards
University Souvenirs
Fairtrade gifts
E:bookshop@[Link] Souvenirs
Branded University Clothing
Branded Clothing
[Link]/bookshop Lunchtime Meal Deals
Lunchtime Meal Deals, Snacks and Drinks
[Link]/bookshop Snacks and Drinks
Breakfast essentials
Event tickets
Friendly staff will help you find what
you are looking for

Opening Hours:
Monday to Friday
8.30am - 6pm
 25

Music
What have some of our writers been Robbie Williams “Reality
listening to this week? Killed the video star”
Andy Vale / Eels - Eels with Strings: Live At Town Hall (2006) Released: 9th November

I’ve been having a fetish for Eels lately. Not quite sure what it is that grabs me, While the last two years have been spent holding our
the song-writing is exceptional, instrumentation is often interesting and striking breath, hoping that Robbie’s next album isn’t as much of
and the concert as a whole takes a number of emotional turns before dumping a disaster as the wonderfully slated ‘Rudebox’, It’s time to
you into a calm place with the optimistic reflective fade-out of Things The relax and remember; everyone makes mistakes. Robbie
Grandchildren Should Know. and his ego have returned to form with the ironically titled
‘Reality Killed The Video Star’, and it looks like he’s back.
Recommended Tracks: It’s A Motherfucker, Trouble With Dreams, Girl From The There’s something separating this album from Robbie’s
North Country previous releases and it’s down to producer Trevor Horn
who’s added a lot more variety and given him the material
Faye Carpenter / Paramore – Brand New Eyes (2009) to show us that he’s a lot more than just an entertainer.
From the haunting and enigmatic opening to ‘Bodies’ to the
Paramore are an American alternative rock band from Tennessee, band members much more personal ‘Deceptacon’ that sounds something
are Hayley, Josh, Zac, Jeremy and Taylor. I particularly like the single Misguided reminiscent to the phenomenon that was ‘Angels’. We’re
Ghosts on the album, also check out there Kings of Leon ‘Use Somebody’ cover! even surprised to hear Robbie give a hand at recreating
Available on YouTube. 80’s electro with “Difficult For Weirdo’s” which edgy
undertones give the song a much more contemporary feel
Rich Beddington / Fink - Sort of Revolution (2009) letting us know he has actually been in touch with reality
all this time.
...because I’ve had many a long, late night drive this week and it’s chill and
brilliant. Without a doubt his greatest success on this album is the
much darker ‘Do You Mind’ which achieves a completely
Mark Allen / Tera Melos – Self Titled (2005)
different Robbie altogether, giving a Mick Jagger-esque
Finding this band pretty much out of nowhere, their jazzy math-rock amazes me as performance in order to create a track far from the pop
much as it confuse me. Insanely complex riffs that fly in and out of time make for ballads we’re used to hearing and going back to sounds
some pretty interesting listening. of 70’s classic rock. Look out for ‘Last Days Of Disco’,
his second release of the album, a chorus of violins and
For fans of: Tubelord, Fall of Troy (but not as intense) or This Town Needs Guns a mix of electronics cement the opening line ‘Don’t call it
a comeback’ because if anything this is a debut from a
Andy Flowers / Charlotte Gainsboug – 5.55 (2006) completely different artist.

Loving the downtempo Zero 7/Air style. Its sonically lush and has some heavenly by Faye Carpenter
vocals. Perfect for a rainy day.

Hail Animator – We Live In Boxes EP

Hail Animator hail (see what I did there?) from the opening track Simple Yet Wise really started the mix. How Are You? is a heart-filled slower
Leeds, and this is their debut EP. Pop/Rock can to grate on me, as they just sounded out of key number, with great melodic shifts and starting
get a bit stale sometimes, and it’s clear that to me. Maybe it’s been done for effect? Catchy soft but ending with a bang.
these guys are trying to keep things simple, guitar riffs and creative drum work makes up
by writing well written, epic-sounding songs. for it once the song gets going, and there are Overall this is a great EP, and has some really
Massive synth lead lines play over lead singer some great vocal harmonies in the chorus. well written pop/rock tracks. Creative guitar
Richard’s Leeds infused accent, whilst solid work and simple sing-a-long melody lines are
drumming holds it all together. Working is the one I would call a the ‘single’ all at play here, so keep an ear out for these
track, as it has all the elements of any great guys.
Studying music at University we are trained to pop song. Low key verses with thoughtful vocals
analyse songs to the point of almost losing the go crashing into epic choruses seamlessly, by Mark Allen
reason or meaning you started the thing in the all supported by a piano tinkling away in the
first place. Even if I don’t want to, I’ll notice tiny background. The List has some great riffs in it
details in songs, and some of the vocal notes in as well, even bringing some cross rhythms into

musicdeskstag@[Link]
 26
Foo Fighters Muse Birmingham National Indoor Arena
10/11/2009
“Greatest Hits” Set list, Show, Rage Riffs (Riffs in general), Drum and Bass solo,
Intro....

Released: 2nd November 2009 Muse are undoubtedly one of the

biggest bands in Britain at the moment
It was about time that this band got to showcase all their finest and if you use traffic congestion as
accomplishments, and since forming in 1995, this album has some sort of meter for popularity (and
been long overdue. The two new unheard tracks - ‘Wheels’ and who doesn’t use this universal method)
‘Word Forward’ - will keep fans on their toes while taking a long
deserved break. The two CD compilation includes monster hits then they are perhaps the biggest. As
such as ‘Best Of You’, ‘Learn To Fly’ and suitably titled ‘Big Me’ I made it across the threshold into
this definitely sells the band to someone who has yet to hear the standing area I was fully prepared
the incessant talents of drummer, singer and songwriter Dave to let any traffic-related stress wash
Grohl. The history of this band lies in this one album where you away and fully immerse myself in a gig
can hear perfectly crafted rock songs, leaving the band’s 14 year that I had been looking forward to for
legacy something to be admired. some time. Unfortunately however,
the support band for the evening Big normally associate with a Muse gig.
Setting off the album comes the recognisable rhythmic guitar riff Pink did nothing to allay my high blood
of ‘The Pretender’ followed by a personal favourite - ‘Long Road Perhaps everyone was watching the
pressure - to have Muse supported by epic light show and visuals that were
To Ruin’ - which invites even the haters of the rock genre to enjoy
something mid-tempo with a far steadier dynamic in comparison a drone-pop band when elsewhere in tightly and innovatively synced to each
to many of the other numbers. Europe they are being supported by song, or perhaps it was that frontman
Biffy Clyro seems a bit of a farce. They Matt Bellamy wasn’t able to go quite
Although it seems ages ago since their finest album ‘The Colour may well turn out to be the biggest as crazy as usual - instead moving in a
and the Shape’ was released (in 1997) the familiarity of ‘Walking band of next summer but if I have to very choreographed fashion between
After You’ and ‘Monkey Wrench’ stay fresh in the mind long after hear the word ‘Domino’ sung by them a number of plinths. Despite the lack
the songs have finished and we are reminded why the Foo’s have one more time, it’s highly unlikely I will of total crowd engagement they threw
sustained their increasing credibility. make it to next summer. in their fair share of Rage Against The
The band is praised for being in their element performing live, Machine riffs, released their giant
Nevertheless, when the lights did balloons and jammed massive riffs
‘Greatest Hits’ album is about the closest you’ll get to the eventually go out for Muse I finally
intensity of one of their gigs…minus the mud, sweat and beer after Stockholm Syndrome in their first
soaked tees. This album is nothing short of what we have come to managed to forget about the Vauxhall encore - all of which are customary and
expect of Grohl, who uses his guitar to fuse melodic undertones Corsa that had blocked that box were well appreciated. The evening
with much harder and edgy components thanks to Goldsmith junction for three successive green came to a climax in the second encore
and Hawkins’s master hand at uncompromising drumming. For lights. The introduction featured some when they rocked Knights of Cydonia
a fan, this album finishes off an unblemished collection; for a haunting music accompanying an and here finally came the electricity
beginner it’s the introduction to one of the most established endless march of silhouetted people and the goosebumps as the crowd
bands in music. climbing up three arena-sized mocked sung the refrain in unison before it all
up tower blocks before the bodies finally got a bit messy with that massive
started falling slowly from the top. All ending riff.
the while these three tower blocks
by Faye Carpenter
retained a small unlit section about All in all it was a great gig and featured

Track of the week...

halfway up and when finally a cloth stunning visuals, Muse’s first ever live
cover was pulled from the towers we performance of MK Ultra and all the
saw our heroes for the evening stood standards that make their gigs great.
Beat! Beat! Beat! - Fireworks atop these three plinths, immediately In addition, with a back catalogue as
launching in to Uprising. vast as Muse’s there are always going
Free tracks for the NME can vary a lot sometimes, but to be favourites that will be missed out.
I’d like to say that from then on in it The slight issue of a lacklustre crowd
this weeks German indie rockers Beat! Beat! Beat! was a total classic, but it appeared wouldn’t ever stop any true Muse fan
may have a bit of a strange name, but this catchy that much of the audience was appreciating this gig and I just envy the
track is sure to be heard all over dance floors. It does unfamiliar with the new album and it lucky Europeans who get to see them
Sound a lot like Foals though, so we’ll see how it all was only on old favourite’s like New with Biffy.
goes down over here... Born and Plug In Baby that you could
really feel the electricity that you would

Johnny Depp to play Babybird Gig

Music News....
loves the band is apparently also making an the band at Hoxton Square Bar and Kitchen
appearance in the video. London on the 12th of November! Hmm, a once
Depp recently directed the comeback video for in a lifetime gig right there, kudos to the 450
Babybird, who you’ll probably know for such Brit pop band Babybird stopped recording in people who got tickets!
songs as ‘You’re Gorgeous’ (1996). He was 2000, but reformed in 2006 announcing a new
photographed by paparazzi in Hertfordshire album and comeback tour. For one of the gigs by Mary-Ann D’Ambrosio
filming on the set. Johnny Depp reportedly Johnny Depp will be playing guitar alongside
 27
Air feel to the album, but it’s still very much in an
Air-ish style. “Love” takes a step back and slaps
in a traditional Air bass groove over a rather
If Air would have kept writing songs similar
to their Moon Safari days I would be happier.
It’s not to say that this album is bad, quite the
Love 2 simple electronic bossa nova beat. The lyrics opposite in fact, but it just doesn’t achieve
consist of the word ‘Love’ repeated 40 or 50 any attention like their previous releases. You
Many of you will be familiar with the times, but still, it works. can listen to Air’s back catalogue and the new
breakthrough hit ‘Sexy Boy’, a track from the release for free on Spotify and We7.
French duo’s 1998 album Moon Safari. Hooky There are a few off songs on the album. “Tropical
downtempo electronica heaven. A decade later Disease” honestly sounds like the soundtrack 3.5/5
sees the welcome release of their sixth studio to a 1960’s espionage/detective show, I was
album Love 2. half expecting Ironside to wheel into the room. I by Andy Flowers
was left disappointed, both by the track and the
Love 2 is a slight return of the band’s Moon lack of a wheelchaired detective. “Night Hunter”
Safari style with soaring synths over simple but contains a synth that has a similar timbre to a
pleasant key changes with catchy bass hooks. cat being strangled. If it weren’t for this it would
“Do the Joy” kicks off the album with new rocky make a decent track, particularly the section
intentions and ambient synths. Straight away towards the end.
they have gone with a crafted mainstream pop

Who: The xx are a two guy (Oliver Sim and

The xx
describes The xx as “nothing less than stunning. background.
Jamie Smith) two girl (Romy Madley Croft and The xx are after your soul-let them have it.”
Baria Qureshi) indie/pop band from South West When: They have gigs in the UK during March
What: indie rock, pop. Their MySpace page 2010 and a few in Ireland this December. They
London. They are all 20 years old which is pretty
young considering they were given number 6 in describes the bands sound as pop/soul/ new will be going on tour mid November (this year) in
NME’s 2009 Future 50 list and from 17th of wave. Their music can’t be easily defined; it’s The US as a support band; they’re also playing
November will be gigging in America supporting thoughtful, harmonic, different, and pretty some gigs by themselves whilst out there.
Friendly Fires. The band played at Reading and damn awesome! Most of the album is pretty
Leeds Festival ’09 and supported Florence and quiet in a soulful emotional way, including the In my opinion definitely a band to look out for!
the Machine in Sept ’09. The band members hushed but thoughtful vocals. I really like the
went to the same school as two members of tracks ‘Islands’ and ‘Crystalised’ which can Their album is available now, I picked up my
Hot Chip, Burial’s William Bevan and Four Tet’s be found on their album. What is unusual but copy from HMV recently for a fair £9.99, and
Kieran Hebden. sounds really good is the fact that both Romy it’s an album worth buying!
and Oliver are vocalists, as well as guitar
The xx formed in 2009, and their 1st single player and bass player, respectively, and duo [Link]/thexx
‘Crystalised’ was released this year, and their in various songs in the album. The understated
self-titled album ‘The xx’ was produced by the style of the band and its music reflects in the by Mary-Rose D’Ambrosio
band and released in August 2009. The NME simple album covers’ large white x over a black

Dananananaykroyd with Dinosaur Pile Up

@ Kings Cross Scala - 27th October 2009
Dananananaykroyd are one of those bands the band weren’t feeling on top form, and dancey-jumpy songs like Pink Sabbath got
that once you see live, you will want to see throwing a Beatles cover into the mix, it felt much everyone off their feet jumping around. Slipping
them again the next day if you can, because more like a low-level warm up act rather than a in little bits of Scottish accent here and there,
you feel lost without it. These Glaswegian fight- band up to the height of Dananananaykroyd. it’s great to hear a band sing in their accent
indie-poppers know how to put on a live show, rather than some fake Texan effort. The fat
and this date was part of their dates around They often get rapped for their unpronounceable riff in Infinity Milk even had fans singing along,
the country, and they had proved extremely name, but with the help of Google, just slap making David grin a little bit. They paused and
popular, with the Scala nearly selling out. Having some ‘anananan’ in and you’ll find them. interacted with the crowd through the art of
seen them at Offset earlier this year, it would Glasgow’s Dananananaykroyd take the whole hi-fives and handshakes, and even instigated
be interesting to see what they could bring to genre pigeon holing to a new level. Helping their renowned ‘Wall of hugs’ where people run
the audience this time. Sadly, we arrived late, to create such genres as Posi-core (Positive- at each other and embrace. Pretty emotional
missing Calories, but I’m sure they would have Hardcore) or Fight-Pop, they blend screaming stuff...
been on top form, so go and listen to them. and distorted guitars with catchy pop melodies,
creating intense but definitely happy music. This Tonight’s performance was tight and energetic,
I thought grunge had disappeared into the gig was a big deal for these guys, particularly with the whole band enjoying the intimacy of the
dark and dusty shelves of adults and emo in London, a place they do not come down to venue and the huge turnout. In times of despair,
kids, and certainly didn’t expect to hear some that often. They made sure the audience knew these guys know how to make everyone feel
here. Dinosaur Pile Up were supporting the how grateful they were for the turnout and better. They put on one of the best live shows
lads throughout the tour, and typical fraught reception, and it was good to see some genuine I’ve seen, and with two singers jumping into the
with ‘warm-up act’ sound, they played grunge appreciation going down. crowd, your bound to get struck by a pasty and
influenced rock to a fairly unenthusiastic crowd fairly sweaty Scottish man.
with a sound that could be compared to bands Fans were ready to lose it tonight, pulling out
like Nirvana or Weezer. Illness had also meant all the stops to make them feel welcome. Their by Mark Allen
 28
Dance and Theatre......
Calling Dance and Theatre lovers! CDI
The Stag is delighted to • …And lots more! Contemporary Dance Initiative
welcome a brand new
section to the Arts pages… What’s in it for you as Teacher changes!
Dance and Theatre! We are writers…
now looking for a group of First of all, thank you all for the great support to CDI! It is lovely
regular writers for these • Free tickets!
to see so many dancers every time.
pages. • Chances to meet
Due to a bad injury, Iris Chan is still not able to dance, and
You may be a Dance or and interview the
therefore cannot teach the CDI class on
Theatre student or you may professionals in the
just take a real interest in industry The 26th of November
the art forms and would • The experience looks
like the opportunity to write { Keep an eye on the CDI programme after Christmas though,
great on the CV as she might teach a class then. }
for the newspaper.
• A chance to write and However, the class is not cancelled! Sarah Lewis, who is a final
You could find yourself think about the arts
doing the following… year Surrey Dance student, will be teaching the class. Don’t
outside your subject miss out on this opportunity of an excellent contemporary
• R e v i e w i n g of study dance class.
performances • Being part of the Stag As usual:
• Writing book reviews team
Thursday 5pm-6.30pm
• Interviewing visiting • Getting your name
dance/theatre in the paper which is PATS Dance Studio
artists read by over 8,000
people! FREE for all Surrey Dance students
• Taking photos 19th of November: Karen da Silva
For more information or if
• Researching current you’d like to send something
in for forthcoming issues 26th of November: Sarah Lewis
debates/ideas/
issues/conflicts in please email Rachel Gildea 3rd of December: Lucy Teed
dance/theatre world (Dance & Theatre Editor)
at dancedeskstag@gmail.
• Citing interesting com Look forward to hearing
articles to be from you! I hope to see you there!
reprinted that you
have seen elsewhere Julie Havelund,
in national papers or CDI Coordinator
on the web Jh00111@[Link]

ACTUAL SIZE DANCE COMPANY EVENT

‘Your body MOT: Self maintenance and injury prevention through stretching, strengthening, and self massage.’
Wednesday 18th.
We are excited to invite Optimum Fitness A sign up sheet will be up in the Nodus (building “You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives
(based at UniSport) to come in and deliver opposite the gym), upstairs by the space you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away,
a self massage session. This is open to all, booking chart this Thursday (12th Nov) no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang
although there is a maximum number of 16 in museums, no poems to be printed and sold,
due to size of space and as they are specialists For more information or to find out more about nothing but that single fleeting moment when
in a particular field the cost will be a little more ASDC please contact Tara Baker tb00029@ you feel alive. It is not for unsteady souls.”
at £5.00 each. [Link].
Merce Cunningham
 29
‘Sense of Self’
Laila Diallo (Bristol, UK) and Melanie Demers (Montreal, Canada)
Having both had impressive careers as dancers true masterpiece can. on the floor, hidden
– Demers with Ginette Laurin’s O Vertigo and behind the gorilla
Diallo with Wayne McGregor’s Random Dance, Immediately, we were plunged into their mask. These layers
both women have come to prominence with tormented world as we were met by a figure in we hide behind, do
their respective choreographic work. But here a gorilla’s mask swaying slowly on stage with they console us?
they join forces to conjure up the multilayered fixed gaze following us to our seats; it silenced
world of identity. Created between Kenya, us. The ‘sad party’
Cananda and the UK, Sense of Self has already was full of
left its mark on the world. On 28th of November A sensual duet: so lyrical and beautiful. c o n t r a d i c t i o n s ,
2009 they came to Surrey… Two bodies moving effortlessly in harmony. bringing the piece
Individually: supple and compliant, together: to a close, but in no
Outside the box potent, strong and utterly convincing. Pushing way an end. Black
against one another, as if mere contact would balloons sunk
‘People say I’m too humble… People say I look not suffice, using the floor to hold them, to down, spilling out
tired… People say I’m magical… People say I try contain them. Lying down, rolling, moving across the stage,
too hard… People say I should read the bible… together as one entity. Moments of rapid and the climatic music became increasingly
People say I’m arrogant… People say I’m a synchronised movement melted into yielding uncomfortable to listen to: industrial, repetitive,
desperate romantic… People say I don’t stand stillness and quiet. cold.
straight…’ (Laila. Sense of Self))
Whilst their use of their own bodies evoked Suddenly an explosion. It sounded like a
Who are we? resilience, their use props highlighted our firework, a celebration, but as my eyes met with
helpless dependency on material objects. The the collapsed figure whose head was hidden in
Who decides, ‘people’ or you? high heels, the animal skin, the masks, the box, a box and body was rattling violently within it,
the cocktail dress represented ways in which we I realised it may have been a gunshot. Do we
Identity: A deeply complex and problematic hide behind a façade, dress ourselves up, put commit a sort of suicide by staying within the
subject, full of struggles, contradictions, on a protective skin to face the world. Demers box? Sense of Self surely exposed the ‘still sad
changes, but Demers and Dialli confronted it writhed helplessly on the floor in the supposed music of humanity’. (Wordsworth)
boldly. Their powerful duet A Sense of Self left powerful red heels, she shook violently in the
us feeling both moved and disturbed, confused elegant long dress whilst Diallo smashed plates by Rachel Gildea
yet reassured, happy but sad the way only a

dancedeskstag@[Link]
Interview with Laila Diallo and
by Rachel Gildea
Melanie Demers
Your piece is called Sense of Self which from different perspectives. We had a lot of work…and family life too!
investigates the idea of identity. What conversations – rich conversations.
inspired you to create this particular Melanie: I live in Montreal so I have my
piece? Melanie: It was important for us that we made company there - I too have to find a balance
it together, that it was a duet….sometimes I feel between living there and working abroad.
Laila: We have an interest in the delicate like we are the same person; it’s like looking in
questions which surround identity and wanted the mirror. Laila: I certainly do have desires to put my
to explore them. We both read a book by artistic and social preoccupations into an
Amin Maalouf – he talks about identity which Laila: We had to find common ground, the interesting form, to relate them to an audience
is plural, always changing…individuals are playground. Melanie works a lot with props through dance
complex things, multi-layered. We wanted to which played a great part in shaping the work.
explore this. What is dance about for you?
Melanie: It was the first time we’d worked
Melanie: It felt natural for us to arrive at this together, we’ve been friend since we were Laila: What fascinates me is that there is such
topic. It’s so open and is always evolving. We’ve teenagers and always said we would. We put an inherent capacity to be expressive in the
been friends a long time, but how do we define our worlds together. body, to say something about who we are. For
ourselves? How much of identity is from the me, dance is a constant research.
inside and how much is imposed? Do you have any ambitions for future
projects? Melanie: Dance is the medium I chose and it
Laila: Yes…we needed to find physicality to chose me. Sometimes I struggle with it because
some of those questions. (Both look at each other and laugh) its so ephemeral, but at the same time I can
do anything and call it dance – it’s a body on
How did the collaborative nature of Laila: (To Melanie) We talk about this a lot! (To stage. There is a fine line between total freedom
the choreography shape the creative Rachel) I like doing my own work. The biggest and the vanishing aspect of it… I call it a ‘sad
process? challenge in the future for me is balancing beauty’, just one moment in time… Then it’s
everything…perfecting that balancing act gone.
Laila: Greatly! It allowed us to look at things between making my own things and collaborative
 30

Literature Get those creative juices flowing....

‘2666’ by Roberto Bolano CHARITY is a word associated with generosity
‘2666’ by Roberto Bolano is an impressive nine hundred page novel
and goodwill. This month has seen charities

Word
that consists of five sections: ‘The part about the critics’, ‘The part
about Amalfitano’, ‘The part about fate’, ‘The part about the crimes’ and being brought to the forefront of the social
‘The part about Archimboldi’. These parts represent five independent conscience. ‘Children in Need’ is one of many
but interlinked novellas, that were originally separate volumes, but
after Bolano’s death, the publisher decided to combine all five, which charities that has been brought to our attention

Of
I think does and doesn’t work. and like many of you I plan to enjoy watching the
Part of the reason that it could work is the novellas do share a fundraising festivities on 20th November and
common thread – the German writer Archimboldi. The first novella donating to this cause. There are also many
is about three academics that search for Archimboldi, who is a writer
of incredible books. These academics travel to a Mexican City called
other causes that would benefit from your help

The
Santa Teresa where Archimboldi has been spotted - this interlinks with - financial or otherwise. If you are struggling for
section two which is set in Santa Teresa. Although the first fifty pages Christmas ideas, Oxfam unwrapped is full of
are reasonably slow, you gradually get into the novel, and the following
pages are very readable. Not knowing much about the novel before excellent ideas for presents. Last year I bought
I started, I didn’t realise that the sections divisions would affect my everyone in my family a gift from Oxfam, such

Moment
reading. The change of perspective and character focus in section two
and all consecutive sections at first just confused me, and I became
as safe water for 10 people. Also try www.
almost an agitated reader wanting to learn about one or two main [Link], which has links to top retailers
characters, rather than trying to focus on five different ones. That and you raise money for charity with every
said, once you have read the first thirty pages or so, it is easy enough
to get into the certain sections again.
purchase. And remember guys, charity begins
at home.
In my opinion each section was quite interesting and reasonably well
written, apart from the fourth - ‘The part about the crimes’. A lot of this
section was riveting but overcrowded with information, and at times
by Laura Bright
it was too much to take in. Page after page of different murders and
rapes, where the victims were all women and most of them prostitutes Memories
was sometimes very gruesome to read, and depending on the reader
it’s either taken as positive or negative. However, the murders were As I was walking to a Peter Barta (legend) lecture once, I had a memory
based on real crimes in Ciudad Juarez, where more than four hundred flash that I hadn’t thought about in, well, ever. When I was between
women had been killed, which definitely adds some interest. Judging the ages of about 5 and 13 I, like a lot of boys that age, had a massive
wrestling fixation. In the memory I was about 10 years old doing a
the whole section, moments of it were actually the most interesting ‘Rock Bottom’ and a ‘People’s Elbow’ (wrestling move specialities by
parts in the entire novel, but the section was too swamped with

Thought
The Rock) on my then 7 year old brother on our parents double-bed.
events, making it hard to keep up with. It may just be that action stuff looks better when you’re a kid, but I
remember it looking awesome!
Nevertheless, many critics have claimed this novel as a masterpiece

of the day
and perhaps it is, but for me there wasn’t enough resolution to the This short memory had a kind of domino effect and made me remember
story as a whole. Only hints were given – this could be due to Bolano all the times me and my brother ‘played’ WWF wrestling. This mostly
consisted of me convincing my brother it was fun to be thrown about,
having only ‘nearly’ finished the last novella before he died, and thus
so that actually I got to do all the moves on the gullible idiot. It wasn’t
if he had, maybe there would have been a greater sense of resolution. until my dad heard us break a wooden slat under the bed that he
Therefore, in my opinion the novel’s form didn’t work and it should not only banned us from playing wrestling, but he banned us from
have either been five separate novels or merged more as a whole, as watching it too.
at present it lacks the clarity of purpose and ease of reading essential
for a great novel. It’s strange how these seemingly insignificant memories are nearly
always ones that make you laugh, smile, or at the very least make you
feel warm and fuzzy inside. Feels nice doesn’t it.
by Steff Lever
Mr Marshmallow

How to Cure Writer’s Block

Step One: Open Microsoft Word Step Two: Wait Step Three: Forever
literaturedeskstag@[Link]
 31
Lest We Forget “Her” The Mishaps of
The eerie echo of the trumpet, the lapel-pinned poppies
and the solemn faces of contemplation are all memories
that many of us associate with Remembrance Day, the
anniversary that commemorates those sacrificed in the line
I sit alone wondering
where you are
Jennifer Lee
The Skirt The Size The Squeeze
of duty throughout the ages, which took place earlier this
month. Hoping, dreaming forever Jennifer sat and stared. Those colours
Whilst no war is free of condemnation, The Great War of seemed to mystify her into a sort of
For that one day when the trance. Today was not a usual day,
1914-1918 is held in many people’s mind as the iconic pieces
template of horror, brutality and unimaginable waste of today was made different - all because
human life. So that we may learn from such unnecessary Will finally fit together. of that one moment. Those fantastic
bloodshed, more recent writers have attempted to convey colours, and yes, the cut and fit exceeded all Jennifer’s
the devastation of the conflict, most famously in Pat Barker’s expectations, causing her to gaze longingly. Courtney was
1991 novel Regeneration and again in Sebastian Faulk’s wearing the new skirt of her dreams.
Birdsong, both of which are now common staples of the A The days repeat
Level Literature course. themselves One second later and a momentary thought of bribery -
Yet to gain an accurate insight, sometimes it’s best to discover Jennifer asked the lethal question. She stopped Courtney
Lying on my bed, watching walking any further into the office; and whispered in such
the works of those who lived and breathed the trenches in
the night sky move shame, “Where did you get that skirt!!” It was almost in
which they fought. Below are some of the famous writers
who, through tragic circumstance, are responsible for the a helpless voice, and no later than thirty seconds after,
With a hopeless hope that
poignant poetry we still read today: Jennifer received the ‘confidential information’.  For the
maybe, just maybe
rest of the day she counted down time.
Siegfried Sassoon (1886 – 1967)
You’re watching the same
star. Late night shopping – this is a rule made for the
A Cambridge educated officer serving on the Western Front; Shopaholic’s Survival Guide. Jennifer always followed it,
Sassoon was deeply cynical of the War during his time in the
trenches. In his controversial letter to The Times, Sassoon especially when she had a mission. She headed straight
stated, “I believe that the war is being deliberately prolonged to her ‘destination’. The name in big bold lights TOPSHOP
by those who have the power to end it” and was confined to ‘Cherish the scent, cherish greeted her at the entrance. ‘This is my fate’ she declared
Craiglockhart War Hospital on grounds of shellshock, where the smile, cherish the to herself. After twenty minutes of looking for the fated
he met fellow poet Wilfred Owen. He was wounded upon memories.’ skirt, Jennifer began to feel uneasy, but she knew what
returning to the front and spent the remaining year of the she had to do. Now a less welcoming sign greeted her
war in England. Sassoon was often deeply satirical of those Nothing but desperate
acts of reassurance. - Customer Services. She knew now that she was probably
in command, demonstrated in his famous poem Counter-
Attack.
doomed never to find the skirt, but still there was hope.
The customer assistant tapped on the computer keyboard,
Wilfred Owen (1893 – 1918) and made what Jennifer would call ‘the frown of doom’,
But how long can one “Unfortunately madam this skirt is now out of season”.
Often regarded as the best known of the war poets, Owen hope Jennifer stood silent, almost as if she hadn’t heard a word,
left the trenches in 1916 suffering from shellshock. Whilst and to make it worse the customer assistant gave a final
recovering in Edinburgh he met Sassoon, who became a How long can one dream
“Sorry”.
profound influence on his writing. During his time at the
Hospital, he wrote the poems Anthem for Doomed Youth How long can one await
Two weeks passed, and as a last attempt, she tried a
and Dulce et Decorum Est, the now infamous account of a the other half
mustard gas attack. Owen returned to the front, much to
different Topshop store. As if it was fate, she saw the print,
the disapproval of his friend, where he died a week before Of what makes them a the beautiful colours, amongst the rest of the dreary looking
the war ended in 1918. perfect, divine being. sale items; she felt her heart skip a beat. ‘Two skirts, maybe
two sizes’ she thought to herself, and prayed that they had
Edmund Blunden (1896 – 1974) her ‘perfect size’. Grabbing the labels she revealed a size
8 and a size 6, neither of which were Jennifer’s size, but
Whilst famous for his 1928 memoir The Undertones of Well I wait here as I always
she had picked up the size 8 hoping for the best. But in the
War, Blunden was nonetheless a regarded war poet who have
was sent to the front in 1916. Surrey was lucky enough end the size was a size too small.
to receive esteemed modernist poet JH Prynne last month, And await the day you
who lectured on Blunden, commenting on the infantile
Exiting  the changing room with practically no hope,
realise
excitement of his poetry and the calm recollection of his Jennifer glanced at the ‘tried it on rack’ and lo and behold
prose. Blunden remains the most prolific writer of the War, That I’m everything you’ll another skirt was hanging up… could it be her size? Yes!
who continues to gain attention for his gradual change in ever need. She almost shouted at the top of her voice, it was in fact
mood and style. her ‘perfect size’, and once again she hurried into the
Everything he’ll never be. changing room. Now ladies, this is what us Shopaholic’s
It is important that the world continues to rediscover call ‘The Squeeze’, following the rule she pulled the skirt
these poets and the many lesser-known ghosts, whose
dedication cost them their lives, that by listening to their passed her hips and began to do up the zip; she squeezed
words, we discourage such horrors from being repeated in in her stomach muscles and to her delight managed to do
by Shervin Hejazi
this century. the zip up. Who said faith ever hurt anyone?

by Tom Goulding by Steff Lever

 32
Six Characters in Search of an Author
Luigi Pirandello’s play Six Characters in search of characters themselves. It is their story, it cannot thus we act in a certain way to respect and accept
an Author is a play about searching oneself, how be performed by the professional actors as all ideologies established by the cultural circles we
we play a part in society and wear masks to have elements of authenticity and reality will be lost as belong to. If we do not conform to these ideologies
more than one identity and conceal our true one, to reality comes from within the characters. we result as victims of hypocrisy. A fundamental
therefore be accepted in society. Pirandello makes distinction between life and appearance is the
this clear distinction within the play between the The characters relive their story as they tell it, essence of the play.
characters who are represented as real and the inviting the audience to participate in their drama
professional actors who are seen as unreal. There where consequence and coincidence go hand in Pirandello uses this play as a tool of self analysis,
is a clear distinction between life and theatre. hand in a series of events which eventually lead to leaving us with questions of who are we? what are
heart ache and the destruction of a person; morally our roles in life? He introduces the role of perception.
The drama unfolds in a theatre where professional and physically. The role of perceivers is more important, as life is
actors are about to start rehearsals for a play. It is like theatre; thus reality does not exist in itself. If
then that they are interrupted, as the title suggests, The truth lives within all of us and many times we nothing is real then hypocrisy is forever present as
by six characters in search of an author. The throw about the term “the truth hurts”. This term we are constantly professing different identities
characters are composed of a family; I use the term according to Pirandello should not be used lightly, it contrary to ones real character or actual behaviour.
loosely as they are not a family of the conventional takes great courage to reveal the truth and accept a The main reason for hypocrisy can be blamed purely
kind. reality which can be dark and disturbing. on society as we wear masks, debating that public
identity is more important than a true one.
The father and step-daughter are desperate to tell A recurring theme in Pirandello’s plays and novels
their stories, which can only be performed by the are the use of masks that society forces us to wear, by Maria Luisa Genco

Film Get the popcorn ready......

My 5 Guilty Pleasures
Whilst packing my suitcase for University I period drama. The guilt comes in when I the entire 122 minutes. Although the
was faced with a dilemma…what DVDs would consider the unhealthy number of times darker undertones of this film never
I bring? Although we live in the golden era of I have watched this movie! fail to register, the overall theme is a
Internet where nearly every movie ever made hopeful one, and I can see myself still
can be accessed electronically, the appeal 2) The Shawshank Redemption (1994) – being addicted to this movie in 10 years.
of owning films has never been lost on me. Although a man’s wrongful imprisonment (It’s that good!)
(Although in the past friends have ‘borrowed’ for the murder of his wife may not seem
DVDs that were never seen again.) I struggled to like the most optimistic start to a movie, 5) Sound of Music (1965) – I KNOW I’m not
decide between picking films I know would look this film always falls into the feel good the only person who has all the words
impressive if someone saw them in my room category for me. The dramatic depiction to Edelweiss memorised. The Ultimate
(“Why yes, that is 1942 Special Edition of Citizen of human will-power in my mind musical experience, High School Musical
Kane*”) and films I would actually watch. This outweighs all the negative extremes really just can’t compare to this classic
internal dialogue ran for a few minutes, until my shown, making this the perfect movie love story that shows singing really can
dad shouted up that the car was leaving with for a night in with Morgan Freeman’s make you feel better. Anyone who has
or without me. In that instant I grabbed five calming voice. yet to watch this film should try and get
movies I hoped would keep me going through hold of it straight away – those who have
the year and dragged my suitcase downstairs. 3) Thirteen (2002) – In hindsight I do seen it should watch it again, as either
The following films made the cut – slightly regret buying this movie, as after way it’s guaranteed to make you smile.
having seen it once, I can’t bring myself
(Just because Little Miss Sunshine and Hard to watch it again or give it away. The Perhaps in that moment of quick decision, the
Candy are not in this list, don’t assume this starkly realistic portrayal of ‘the allure of films selected were a representation of me as
means I’m not compelled to watch them cool’, this movie definitely stays in your a person. (Deep, I know!) Whatever the reason,
whenever they air, I just haven’t found them in head long after the credits roll, which is my Guilty Pleasures always manage to succeed
any second hand shops recently.) one of the reasons I’m reluctant to put in making my laugh, smile or cry, no matter
myself through what will definitely be a how many times I watch them. However I know
1) Jane Eyre (BBC 2006) – This was a very emotional two hours again. That I’m not the only person with a movie they’ve
slight compromise between films to said, the rollercoaster ride is probably watched 20+ times stashed somewhere in
impress strangers and films I actually the reason I enjoyed it so much I brought their room. So what I want to know is…what is
like. Based on the classic Bronte novel it with me in the first place. your Guilty Pleasure? (It’s only fair, I did tell you
about the quintessential plain-Jane and mine!) Write into the filmdesk, all entries will be
her relationship with the mysterious Mr 4) American Beauty (1999) – Strangely, I completely anonymous and the top films you
Rochester, I genuinely enjoyed this series recently had a strong craving to watch this secretly love will be printed in a future issue.
when it aired, and it has the advantage movie. There are several scenes in this
of acting as a very sophisticated chick movie about a dysfunctional suburban *I have not watched Citizen Kane, the only
flick. With more romance than both American family that I am obsessed reference I’ve heard to it has been on Friends,
Bridget Jones combined, simply because with, but in the film that brought one of but it is a very highly acclaimed film.
everything is so epically portrayed, the first ‘beautiful-weirdo’ characters to
this is a definite must see for lovers of the screen, I usually end up watching by Eunice Njagi
 33
A Christmas Carol (PG)
Robert Zemeckis uses the motion capture technique he used in The
Polar Express and Beowulf to re-create Charles Dickens’ popular
novel. Jim Carrey is Ebenezer Scrooge, Ghost of Christmas Past,
Present and Future. If this technology seems creepy to you, then the
film uses it to its full potential. The hazy, cold streets of London are
haunting and the dark, gothic feel makes me think that this movie is
more for Halloween than it is for Christmas.

It does have a huge opportunity to truly serve Charles Dickens’ tale,

but there are times where it has to resort to dramatic, zany action
sequences. There is no need for filler, because it is already there in
the novel. All that partially ruins what should be the most ambitious
and interesting attempt at adapting Charles Dickens’ A Christmas
Carol. Children should take caution as the movie is quite scary.

*****

by Ollie Sim

filmdeskstag@[Link]
Bright Star (PG) Moon (15) behaving in an
almost human-
like manner;
It is the hardest thing to go against the barrage of Cast: Sam Rockwell, Kevin Spacey displaying
critics, especially when the film being judged is that of sympathy
Jane Campion. Everyone fawned over The Piano and Directed by: Duncan Jones towards Sam
frowned over In The Cut. Both works of Jane Campion, Bell and helping
but have a totally different effect on me. I came to know about this off-beat movie him flout the
called Moon when it shot up about 800% rules of the
The Piano was a bore-fest for which Andrea Dworkin on the IMDb MovieMeter in the past few c o r p o r a t i o n
would have taken pride in observing. On the other weeks. It seems that fans of Sam Rockwell he is working
hand Jane Campion also made In The Cut, which was have been running an online campaign for. GERTY is
a more radical exercise in producing what was (in to get him nominated for an Oscar for nowhere close
disguise) straight-to-video trash. So give me trash any his performance in this movie made on a to displacing
day than preaching to me that what I am watching is shoestring budget. HAL 9000, but
self-important feminist hooey. it sure will get ‘honourable mentions’ in
Moon is set in the future, where companies future ‘Best AI in Sci-Fi Movies’.
Bright Star, rather than being centred on John Keats, are mining Helium-3 from the moon to
focuses on his lover Fanny Brawne. Fanny is successful supply Earth’s energy needs. Sam Bell The director enhances the sense of
though repressed and John is moderately famous (played by Rockwell) is the lone manager desolation and loneliness of the character
though a financial and critical failure. As Keats’ health of the moon base where the automated in outer space: making huge living quarters
deteriorates, both struggle to express their affection. mining takes place; his job being to see for a single inhabitant, using Chesney
that everything is in order. As you can Hawkes’s song The One and Only as the
Bright Star, like The Piano is well shot and impeccably figure out by now, Moon is pretty much a wake-up alarm, and working in ‘no contact
acted. The lovely aesthetic shots of lavender and one-man show. with Earth’ into the story. Periods where
treetops are all fine. The main achievement of the film no background score is present add to
is its many inclusions of John Keats’ poetry such as The In the first half hour of the movie you this feeling of being stranded too, with the
Eve of St. Agnes. I’m glad that the original work had wonder, “Why would people even think that viewer being made to focus purely on the
been cleared and it pays off on its own. Sam Rockwell will get nominated for this?” character. In other scenes, Clint Mansell’s
So it’s a bit slow off the starting block. As score gels in well with overall feel of the
Also, like The Piano, it is a film that feels like it is made the plot takes a twist around that point, you environment.
by a feminist English professor. The high-brow critics begin to truly appreciate what Rockwell put
are quick to shower it with praise, but I dare you to find into this movie. You, the viewer, can almost Although in all probability Sam Rockwell will
an audience member who does not slump to one side sense the despair and agony of a man not win an Oscar for this, his performance
during the two hour marathon. It is not because you are stuck all alone in this hellhole of a job on is, indeed, quite moving. Moon certainly is
stupid; it is because it’s a mind-numbing film where (to the moon for three long years. one of the better sci-fi movies made in the
be brutally honest) hardly anything is being said. vein of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
The only company he has is the moon
***** station’s robotic / computer assistant *****
named GERTY (voiced by Kevin Spacey).
by Ollie Sim As the movie progresses, we see GERTY by Ankur Banerjee
 34
Jennifer’s Body
If Bright Star is hell bent on making the audience feel like a bunch of philistines, then you
are with me in thinking “I’d rather watch vampirism, ancient curses, and grungy high school
horror”. What did put me off earlier is the fact it stars actress/stripper/model/cleavage/you’ve
been tangoed Megan Fox. I can say with much confidence that this is her best film to date (and
that is saying a lot).

The film is on familiar territory, where the high school clique meets Ginger Snaps. Megan Fox
is a fiery, sexual, high school teenager who ‘offers’ herself for fellow male classmates. Here
is the catch: she is evil. Not “high school evil”, but “actually evil”. Her diffident ‘best friend’
(Amanda Seyfried, with glasses) tries to explain to everyone how Jennifer (Megan Fox) is not
what she seems.

Ironic how the snot-nosed critics sneer at this and bland Bright Star is showered with confetti.
Diablo Cody (Juno) obviously knows her horror and this film is less for the ‘fanboy’ audience
than it is for the more mainstream audience. There are many references to Slumber Party
Massacre, Carrie and to a certain extent The House on Sorority Row, but that does not matter
because it is a fun-filled romp that will last for just those minutes on screen.

*****

by Ollie Sim

The Worst Animated Feature Ever Made

For anyone that thought James Cameron’s The story is about an upper class, handsome, When the film finally gets to the sinking,
Titanic was bad, Titanic: The Animated Movie young man named Sir William (knighted for his everyone on board dies, sorry, survives. That’s
will tarnish those bad memories. good looks) who falls in love with a poor, delicate right, as a children’s film, the Titanic sunk, but
girl named Angelica. Both trying to seek love at least everyone got off fine, including the huge
Whenever I leave a cinema screening, one of aboard the Titanic, both suspiciously looking breasted opera singer. My personal favourite
the most common reactions I ever hear from like Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. comes in the form of an officer who repeats
an audience member is, “Wow, that was ‘The the line, “You can’t go through this way. Don’t
Worst Film Ever’!” To a certain extent, it does Not that the Italian animation company which force me to resort to violence” a head banging
annoy me because I always have to question the made this are going to face their biggest lawsuit three times. All the while, the passengers in
integrity of the statement. How many bad films from 20th Century Fox. No, that would be Disney. the background are marching in place, going
does an average audience really see to make Why? Because every single character is placed nowhere.
the judgement that the film they just saw was and drawn like a game of Where’s Waldo.
the worst? No, Australia is not the worst film There is an evil stepmother in the movie that So everyone gets off the boat, we come to the
ever made. No, The Happening is not the worst looks exactly like Curella De Ville. Look out for end of the film. An incredibly annoying child, who
film ever made. And no, Batman and Robin is mice that look like the mice in Cinderella, and narrates what has happened to the characters,
not the worst film ever made by a long shot. geese that look exactly like the geese in The treats us to a prologue. There is even one point
Aristocats. Seriously, that is just the beginning. where she is tongue-tied and cannot finish the
There is a popular saying among cinephiles It is like watching a smorgasbord of plagiarism. sentence, but still the studio could not afford
and it is this: it is not how many good films you editing equipment, so it is left in. The last words
see, it is how many stickers (bad films) you What next? A rapping dog? Well, at least it does of the film haunt me to this day, “Bye for now
see. So in other words, to be able to judge a not stoop to…oh, wait a minute. It DOES! If most and see you soon!”. Cue the torturous keyboard
film more reliably the question is NOT whether of the film consists of you watching it between synthesiser that stands in for the score.
have you seen Casablanca, Citizen Kane or The your fingers, then this is clawing your face off.
Godfather? More to the point, have you seen This part of the film comes after a moment The credits roll with endless names that even
Surf Nazis Must Die, Troll 2, Galaxy of Terror, where the dog saves a family of mice from the smartest detective cannot figure out. How
The Trial of Billy Jack, J.D.’s Revenge or The being eaten by a cat. Just after the little mouse were these people involved? I cannot translate
Thing With Two Heads? The more bad films you says with twee, “If it haven’t been for you, I the Italian, but I bet that it is a list of people who
see, the more you appreciate films. would have been in somebody’s digestion” funded and distributed the film. Well, they did a
(The translating department’s budget had great job because there are few DVDs out there
In terms of Titanic: The Animated Movie, I obviously been slashed.) We have the dog lead of the original copy. The good news is that you
struggle to find an animated film that is as lame, into an induction rap. Then comes a hilariously, can see the uncut copy on YouTube. It’s party
unimaginative, badly written, badly drawn, gruesome montage with the dog wearing an NY time!
hilariously voiced, excruciatingly scored as this baseball cap, jersey and sneakers, along with
Italian-made atrocity. Why? Well, where can you the usual repeated sequence out of sync. by Ollie Sim
start and how much time have you got?
 THE HOTTEST
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 36
Sports in Guildford
by David Holt
Guildford Heat Spotlight on....
The Guildford Heat basketball team this week
saw themselves lose out to Everton Tigers 84-
72 in Liverpool despite Joseph netting 24 points
Chad McKnight
by David Holt
and Drakeford and Martin adding 15 and 13
respectively. The Heat had given themselves a We’re almost spoilt for choice with sport around the south-east
lot to do when they found themselves 25 points area, but right here in Guildford we are privileged to have one of the
down going in the final quarter, but they still sit in top basketball teams in the country in the Guildford Heat. In what is
5th position in the British Basketball League and about to become a weekly segment I am going to shine a spotlight
sit just two points behind the leaders Newcastle, on what makes them up, starting with Heat’s fan favourite player-
Milton Keynes and Sheffield - although these coach, Chad McKnight.
teams have all played at least one extra game.
Heat’s next home game is against Plymouth 26 year old McKnight from Lancaster, Ohio was a member of the
Raiders on 22nd November. For more details visit inaugural Heat team in the 2005/06 season and almost instantly
[Link]. became a hit with the fans as he appeared in all 40 of the teams
games that year, average over 11 points per game, but it was during
Guildford Flames Ice Hockey team have had a the following seasons Championship winning year that he averaged
slightly more successful time of it recently, beating his career best of 12 points per game.
both Swindon and Basingstoke in the last two
weeks. Playing away to Swindon in the League-Cup, It was during the 2006/07season that Chad looks back fondly on
the Flames managed to pick up a hugely impressive his favourite match for Heat, where he netted a career high of 39
5-2 win, with goals coming from Smital, Clarke and points in the BBL Cup Quarter Final against Plymouth, and he took
Lamey in the first period, Masa in the second and to the court during Heat’s BBL Cup triumph against the Scottish
Plant in the third. This was followed up by the home Rocks, the Heat’s first ever silverware.
fixture against Basingstoke with Rempel scoring
a brace and Smital adding the other, lifting the McKnight rightly claims that basketball is in his blood, with his three
team to third in the league despite having played brothers Phil, Chris and Brett all either coaching or playing back in
fewer games than Manchester Phoenix and Milton the States, with ex-Heat director Phil Hardy having predicted great
Keynes Lightning who currently sit above them. things for the younger McKnights on the court. Like his brothers,
The Flames upcoming home games are against Chad has been playing from a young age, but it was during his time
Swindon on the 22nd November and the following at Morehead State University in Kentucky that he really took off as
Sunday against Slough on the 29th. See www. a player, representing the Eagles in the top flight of college basketball in the States, even winning the
[Link] for more details Conference Championship in his second season, playing in 28 games and averaging 7.3ppg, followed by
10.6 and 16.9ppg for the next two seasons when he then joined the Heat to pursue his dream of playing
Aldershot Town have announced 49 year old professional basketball.
Kevin Dillon as their new manager, replacing
caretaker manager Jason Dodd in the Shots hot Despite suffering a season long ankle injury in 2007 and playing for the Leicester Riders during the
seat. Dillon raked up 564 appearances in his 07/08 season, McKnight returned to the Heat last season, playing in 44 games and averaging 9.9ppg,
career for the likes of Newcastle and Birmingham but McKnight isn’t done yet in following his life’s passion. He says he hopes to either coach or own a
and also made appearances for England Under professional team once he has retired from the game, as well as currently coaching the University of
21s. Dillon is joining the shots following roles at Surrey’s girl’s team, but for now he’s just trying to enjoy his dream come true. “All my life, all I have wanted
Reading as First Team Coach, Youth Coach and to do is play basketball.” McKnight told Ignite, the Heat’s game night program. “My biggest success is
Reserve coach and has spoken out at his pleasure having the opportunity to play basketball.”
to be Aldershot’s new manager.
And while he continues to show such good form for Guildford Heat, long may it continue.
The Shots are in to the Second Round of the FA

Surrey Stroll to Success

Cup following a 2-0 win over Bury, and now face
an away trip against either Tranmere Rovers or
Leyton Orient, both of whom are currently sitting
in the bottom half of League One. The Shots are
by David Holt Retter and Evil, Katherine Rattle, Catherine Walkin
also still within a point of the play offs in League
and team captain Nicola Vernon all added two goals
Two following a 0-0 away draw with Rotherham,
Guildford Women’s First 13-0 Kings College each while Phillipa Cordey and Benjamino Avro
and the next home match is against Northampton
Women’s Thirds both added goals themselves. Perhaps the only
Town on the 24th November. See [Link].
sour note was Katherine Rattle not only performing
[Link] for more details.
The University of Surrey Women’s Hockey First Team a cartwheel after one of her goals, but also getting
strolled to success in their latest cup match against blood on the new white kit, scrapping her knees and
King’s College with Madeline Retter and Rose Evil falling over, and therefore quite deservedly earning
both grabbing hat-tricks, with Retter doing so on herself “Dick of the Day”!
her debut for the first team.
Together with the Students’ Union we strive to provide So while Evil and Retter may grab the thrust of the
you with the best opportunities to participate in sport The Varsity’s nickname of “The Fortress” has plaudits, with the latter getting Man of the Match
whilst you are studying at Surrey. perhaps never seemed quite as apt as each on her debut, the whole team deserves credit for a
T: 01483 (68)9201 (Sports Centre) member of the team turned on the style to blow brilliant performance, one that they will be looking
T: 01483 (68)9242 (Varsity Centre) away their visitors, including a 5 minute spell to replicate for the rest of the season.
E: enquiries@[Link] / [Link] of a goal a minute. Alongside hat-trick heroes
If you are interested in getting involved with the

sportsdeskstag@[Link] University of Surrey Hockey team please contact

nv00012@[Link] for more details.
 37
Inside Sport 28th October 2009
Results Football
…with David Holt
Badminton Men’s
In this feature I’ll meet with people from University sports teams to try and gain an insight
in to their sport. This week I met with a member of the Women’s Football team. Men’s Surrey 1st 5-0 St Mary’s 4th
How many of you are there involved in Women’s Football at Surrey? Surrey 2nd 1-7 Reading 1st Surrey 2nd 3-0 Royal Holloway 2nd
In total I’d say there are probably about 25 of us, including the coaches. Football South Bank 2nd 3-2 Surrey 3rd
What ability level are you all at? Surrey 1st 4-2 Chichester 5th Surrey 4th 4-1 UCL 3rd
It’s a mixed level to be honest with you. Some of the girls are really talented, whereas I’m Reading 3rd 3-1 Surrey 2nd Surrey 5th 1-4 Kingston 2nd
pretty rubbish! But it is still great fun and I really enjoy going.
Surrey 3rd 3-4 UCL 4th Women’s
How has the team been doing this year?
Brunel 3rd 10-1 Surrey 4th Brunel 2nd 0-3 Surrey 1st
I’d say we are doing pretty well so far. We have a completely mixed ability group, so it takes
a while to get everyone playing together, Hockey Hockey

How often do you play - be it training, matches or whatever? Men’s Men’s

We mainly just have our training sessions on Thursdays, but we play our matches on University of the Arts 1st 0-6 Surrey 1st 0-3 Reading 2nd
Wednesdays. Surrey 1st
Women’s
What is the social life like and how often do you go out? Surrey 2nd 0-20 Canterbury
Christ Church 1st Surrey 2nd 15-0 Royal Holloway
We’re all pretty close and enjoy going out together and having a good time, but the centre 3rd
of the football social life is going out pretty much every Wednesday! Women’s
Netball
If anyone is interested in joining, how do they get involved in playing Women’s Surrey 1st 13-0 Kings College 3rd
Football at Surrey Uni? Surrey 1st 32-23 Brighton 3rd
UCL 1 14-0 Surrey 2
st nd

I believe they can get involved by signing up with Unisport or by contacting Missy on Rugby
me00029@[Link] Squash
Surrey 1st 6-3 St George’s 1st
Would you like to be interviewed and get the important information about your sport out Surrey 1st 5-0 Brunel 1st
there? Email David Holt at sportsdeskstag@[Link] if you would and we can organise Portsmouth 4th 26-10 Surrey 2nd
31 October 2009
st
an interview for future editions.
Squash
Hockey
Surrey First XV Edge to Victory Men’s
Sussex 1st 1-4 Surrey 1st
by Matthew Allen Brunel 2nd 1-2 Surrey 2nd
Leatherhead 2 4-0 Surrey 2
nd nd
Surrey University Rugby 1st team continued their good form this week, sporting for the Tennis
first time the new all white Nike kit courtesy of Surrey Sports Park. On a particularly Women’s
wet and cold Wednesday afternoon the first XV put in a very mature performance, Men’s
winning the game 6-3 thanks to the boot of fly half Matt Ody who kicked two crucial London Edwardians 3rd 6-2
penalties, meaning the team is moving further up the table and closer to promotion. Surrey 1st Brunel 1st 8-0 Surrey 1st
The team was cheered on by a strong following on the sidelines for which the team is
very grateful, knowing that this pushes the team on when the going gets tough. 4th November 2009 Surrey 2nd 3-7 Portsmouth 2nd

The second team put on an extremely good performance away to Portsmouth, Badminton Women’s
narrowly losing despite a 10-8 half time lead and excellent performances from the
likes of Callum Baines and Marcus Luxon. The second team has vowed to come out Men’s Surrey 1st 4-5 Royal Holloway 1st
stronger from the loss and are looking to put their season back on track in their next
Medway 1st 4-4 Surrey 2nd 7th November 2009
home game against LSE.
Women’s Hockey
In addition to their highly competitive league matches, the two men’s teams combined
for the first inter-squad match, captained by James Roberts of Team Yellow and Dave Surrey 8-0 Royal Holloway Men’s
Nolan of Team Blue. Equal teams were selected, but with bragging rights and the
Inter-Squad Trophy on the line tackles flew in hard and fast ensuring both teams Basketball Barnes 4th 0-4 Surrey 1st
played to their best. It was a hard fought match, but ultimately Team Blue came out
on top following an outstanding performance and surged to a 26-5 victory. Men’s Surrey 2nd 0-6 Old Reigatian 2nd

If you would like to get involved with the University of Surrey Rugby Team please Portsmouth 1st 70-44 Surrey Women’s
contact [Link]@[Link] for more details.
Fencing Merton 2nd 0-5 Surrey 5th

Surrey 135-130 UCL 2nd

 38

by David Holt
The World of Sports
back from a 3-1 deficit to draw with CSKA Moscow. weighing seven stone more than the London-based
Fulham’s hard work in their first game against Roma champion. Haye now looks likely to come home and
Chelsea have extended their place at the top of was partly undone in the Europa League when they defend his championship against John Ruiz at the
the Barclaycard Premier League following their 1-0 lost 2-1 to the Italian team, meanwhile Everton O2 Arena in Greenwich.
home win against Manchester United, courtesy of a stammered to a 2-0 defeat against Benfica, with
goal from captain John Terry, and it is now Arsenal Oscar Cardozo impressing again. It was Sebastian Vettel who finished as runner up
who are leading the chasing back after emphatic in the 2009 Formula One Drivers Championship as
wins over local rivals Tottenham Hotspur and Peterborough have parted ways with their manager he raced to victory in the last race of the year at
Wolverhampton Wanderers. Liverpool’s stuttering Darren Ferguson as the club sit bottom of the Abu Dhabi. Lewis Hamilton has qualified in first but
start to the campaign, emphasised by the fact that Championship following a 3-1 loss to Newcastle at had to retire early, handing the lead to the young
Voronin is still getting in their team, has only been the newly named “[Link] @ St. James’ and hugely impressive Vettel. Rubens Barrichello
worsened after losing comfortably to Fulham 3-1 Park Stadium” while Ipswich climbed above them has been announced as joining Williams for the
and scraping a draw against Birmingham which following their first win of the season against Derby upcoming season and will be joined by rookie
featured a very fortunate penalty going David County. Gordon Strachan has overseen two losses Nico Hulkenberg, who has been likened to former
N’Gog’s way. Yes, he is making the team too. out of two as manager of Middlesbrough as they champion Hamilton.
came unstuck against Plymouth and Crystal Palace,
Aston Villa are piling on the pressure on the top four while in the huge Welsh derby it was Swansea England’s Rugby Union Autumn tour has further
after a 5-1 demolition of Bolton while Manchester City who came out on top against high flying Cardiff in been plagued with injury over the last two weeks with
and Burnley battled out to a 3-3 draw at Eastlands a brilliant 3-2 victory. Southend United narrowly Barnes and Wilson dropping out of the squad, and
and Everton’s stuttering start to the season finally avoided going in to administration shortly after are to be replaced with inexperienced Gloucester
picked up with a 2-1 away win over West Ham. It is beating beat Gillingham 1-0 at Roots Hall, but it Prop Paul Doran-Jones. England are looking to pick
the Hammers, along with Hull, Bolton, Wolves and is Leeds who are still running away with it at the themselves up against Argentina after going down
Portsmouth who are predominantly battling it out top of League One by 7 clear points over Charlton 18-9 against Australia on Saturday, with the main
at the bottom of the league, but Pompey, after a after comfortably beating Oldham and Yeovil, while positive being the scoring of the returning Johnny
slow start to the season, have finally begun to hit struggling Brighton have announced Gus Poyet as Wilkinson despite a strong second half performance
their stride following a 4-0 win over Wigan, perhaps their new manager. Cash strapped Bournemouth from the Wallabies.
attempting the tried and trusted “slow and easy are still the leaders in League Two but Rochdale are
wins the race” technique. Well, it worked with the closing in on them following a 4-0 away win over the American Phil Mickelson has picked up the Golf
turtle. leaders on Saturday. HSBC Championship in China, finishing up 17 under
par, just one better than Ernie Els who had chased
It has been a largely disappointing week for British David Haye is the new WBA Heavyweight Champion him all the way. Meanwhile, closer to home golfing
teams in Europe with only Arsenal picking up a win in Boxing following his win over Russian giant legend Nick Faldo has received a knighthood from
following their 4-1 smashing of AZ, while Chelsea, Nikolay Valuev in Nuremburg. Haye, who is now the the Queen. The most successful British golfer of the
Rangers and Celtic drew against Athletico Madrid, first British Heavyweight Champion since Lennox modern era was given the award in recognition for
Unirea Urziceni and Hamburg respectively. Liverpool Lewis, beat the leviathan on points after sticking to his contribution to the sport.
have it all to do now in the Champions League after his game plan and eventually overcame the odds,
conceding a late equaliser to Lyon in France while being awarded the win 116-112, 116-112, 114-
Manchester United themselves left it late to come 114 despite his opponent standing at 7 feet and

The End of the World..... Almost

by Bjorn Singh proportions by itself. He attacks in explosive spurts and again. Haye was faster than Valuev, more agile
of left-right-left combinations (it almost seems than Valuev and just seemed to bully the Russian
On the night of November 7th 2009, millions of people comical watching Haye nearly having to jump just in a way he’d never experienced before. Valuev’s
around the world almost witnessed the greatest to reach the ‘Beast’s’ head), moving in and out too calm and expressionless face seemed like that
catastrophe to ever hit the earth. On this day, or fast for Valuev to catch. The Great Russian jabs and of a defeated school kid, resigned to the fact that
rather night, we humble beings of this planet were swings a multitude of times, but it seems that Haye every time he walks onto the playground a bully is
almost ended by a global earthquake of immense sees the punches before they are even thrown and definitely going to take his lunch money and there’s
magnitude. What would have been the cause of this is easily able to duck and weave and move out of nothing he can do about. I almost felt sorry for him
bringer of destruction and death? David Haye, that’s reach of those monstrously sized fists. To Valuev, as, quite frankly, all Haye did was exploit his obvious
what! David Haye and his explosive left hand in the for 11 rounds Haye seems like an annoying fly that weaknesses (his lack of speed and movement) to
12th round, which almost saw the most gigantic keeps bumping into him which he just can’t swat. show what a bad boxer Valuev really is when he
heavyweight to ever step into a boxing ring hit the The only problem for him is that all these little doesn’t have his strength and size to fall back on.
canvas. And let me assure you, this tiny planet can’t bumps, though not painful, are scoring points. David Haye deserved to win that fight and what a
handle that kind of impact; even if every British night it was for him, but more so, what a night it
boxing fan was aching to see it happen. 12th round and Valuev clearly needs a knockout. For was for British heavyweight boxing. Frank Warren
nearly two minutes Haye avoids Valuev’s jabs and for was right in suggesting that Haye’s real test will be
Let me just briefly set the scene. It’s the 12th round nearly two minutes the world was resigned to ‘just’ a from now on when he actually has to fight boxers
of the modern day battle between David & Goliath points victory. Then a left-right and another massive that can box as, though it may detract from the
and both fighters are still standing. Flashback - after left and Valuev’s legs are almost gone. Haye follows Russians great achievements in the sport, the only
2 rounds, unknowingly to anyone but himself, David up like a rampaging, rabid animal trying to finish off reason he’s done what he has is because of his
Haye suffers a suspected broken right hand by his prey, but the Russian just manages to hold on size. Let’s hope that now Haye is a world champion,
landing what would have been for any other fighter until the bell. David Haye, against all odds, is the heavyweight boxing will be known once again for its
a devastating right hook to the left side of Nikolai new WBA heavyweight champion of the world. quality of boxing and not the size of the boxers; let’s
Valuev’s face – Valuev shrugs his shoulders unhurt. hope that Haye can start his own boxing legacy and,
For 11 rounds Haye circles Valuev; with his hands Truth be told, after watching Haye’s performance it’s like Lennox Lewis before him, do what he says he’ll
hanging by his side and his head jutted forward, a wonder why anyone ever doubted him. Throughout do and ‘clean up the division’.
enticing Valuev to swing, he seems more like a the fight he used his clever boxing brain to just be
tiger circling his prey, trying to calculate whether it’s conservative and land his punches in spurts and
capable of taking down an animal of such gigantic then throw in a quick jab to the body and head now
 Football Focus
FA Introduction to Futsal
Saturday 12 December,
9am-3pm
The course will provide an introduction to:
• Game play
• The techniques of Futsal
• Game of Futsal
• Principles of play
• Rules of Futsal

Price: £40.00
Register by: 11 December 2009, 10am
Venue Detail: UniSPORT, Sports Centre
Contact Person/To Book: Craig Hicks, Tel: 01372 387 092
Email: [Link]@[Link]

Futsal Workshop
Sunday 22 November - Sunday 6 December,
11am-12noon
Price: £4, Free UniSPORT Full Members
General Information: Led by FA qualified coach
Venue Detail: UniSPORT, Sports Centre

FA Basic Referee Course

Struggling to get part-time work?

How about getting qualified as a referee and earning money being

involved in a sport you love?
Funding available to get you started!
Courses happening Feb 2010
For more information email: enquiries@[Link]

BUCS Football
Leadership & Volunteering Programme

Whatever you do for your team at University or in the community you

could be rewarded by BUCS and the FA.

Sign up at [Link]/football
or on Facebook at [Link]/bucsfootball
Monthly prize draw plus work towards funding towards FA courses
or vouchers for Nike kit & equipment

For further details on any of these initiatives contact:

T: 01483 689201
E: enquiries@[Link]
[Link]

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Make sure you check
out our Xmas issue!