FOR THE FANS BY THE FANS

2010 > Issue No. 1 £2.00

BEL19VE
Find Out More info at: [Link]
Editor: J.A.H Writers: Barry Book, Darren Lamb, Mark Seaton, Mike Nolan, Ian Barber, Yorkie,
Sub Editor: Natalie Lamb, Tom Stafford, Sufiyan Kala,Ed Rant, Chris Wrathall and Gary the Goldfish.
Special Thanks to: David May, Andy Ritchie, Shaun Murphy, Steven BIllington, Kev Okell, Jason Pickston, Kallum Nolan,
Steve Brookes and Everyone at Wythenshawe amateurs, and the almighty RawDog @ [Link]

All material unless otherwise stated, is copyright to Red army fanzine . The views expressed are not necessarily those of
the editor and you do have the right of reply to the above email address. Red Army Fanzine is completely inderpendent
of Manchester United football club Ltd. Red Army Fanzine accepts no responsibility for services offered by advertisers.
 Editorial
F irst of all I would like to thank
YOU the fans for purchasing RED
With a solid back five and ample
decent replacements for any of
them, we have to be contenders
ARMY FANZINE’S first ever issue. for conceading the least goals in
Let me take this opportunity to ex- the league, and scholes finding the
plain why we decided to have a bash youthful form we are accustom to
at writing a [Link] started year in year out accompanied with
[Link] a year rooney’s explosive performancies
ago and decided in the close season in the last campaign we as united
that the next step for us would have fans must feel optimistic about the
to be a fanzine and a forum so we, fourth coming months. So lets get
and other fans like us can get to have behind the team, this campaign and
our say. Whilst no one at the mag look forward to a real exciting jour-
is a professional sports journalist, ney through the 2010-2011 season.
PHD or Nobel Peace Prize winner To start on a high this issue we
we are all Manchester united fans speak to mad Manchester United
and feel passionate about what we fan and top sports man Sean
are doing. Murphy about his hopes for this
We aim to inform, explain and have season and future in his view of the
a laugh along the way, and we hope club, we also talk to Englands only
that we can deliver every time. psychic animal about football in
So once again thank you and enjoy. general (honest) and to put it all in
As the memories fade on England’s perspective our
abysmal world cup exploits and the resident “tell it how it is” Stretford
Cockneys and Geordies have finally Ender who will tell us all how we, or
stopped whinging about it we can more importantly, the club should
concentrate on the upcoming sea- think. The fanzines new regulars
son, which promises to go as close to will inform, explain and argue and
the wire as any other year. Although you can debate via our online forum
united hav’nt bought anyone of
[Link]
substance, for some reason I feel we
if they get it wrong (and these
will be favourites for the league this
spirited individuals may do), so on
term, and the feeling I am getting
with the Fanzine on with the season!
off like minded united fans is one of
confidence and excitement.
,

3
 STRETFORD ENDER
We all know one, I know three or four and I’m scared to death of all of them,
even though they’re on my side. The ‘Streford Ender’ is Red Army fanzine’s own
grumpy fan who knows best. This man does not want United to win, he expects
it. The ‘Streford Ender’ not only tells it how it is, but says things the average man
would fear to whisper in the corridors of Old Trafford. As I face him in the dim
light of the back of a local pub, his staunch look and uncompromising pres-
ence over the small wooden table we surround, not only unnerves me but almost
sends a shiver down my spine, I’d better not cross this fellow red.
Alex Ferguson it would seem too. When have
you ever seen that guy win us a game when the
chips are down? (In the way in which Keano or
Bryan Robson would’ve). The answer to that is
never, the way I strongly believe a central mid-
fielder should do. Darren Gibson’s not for me
either (yeah he’s got a good shot on him, but
that’s about it - so did Lee Harvey Oswald and
look how his career went on). The other’s Sc-
holes, Fletcher and Anderson I’m happy with,
so we’ll just have to wait and see I suppose. Like,
the last 5 or 6 years, I think Chelsea will be our
Pre season is something which (like most other main challenger’s, they’re an ageing side but
people I’m sure) bores the arse off me! However still strong enough to push us all the way. (It is
there were some positives to take from the tour out of us or them). Don’t listen to that load of
of America and Mexico, none more so than shite coming from the blue side of Manchester,
Chicarito (Javire Hernandez) of whom I’m very they’ve got more chance of winning the league
exited about. The guy is a born goalscorer (you than I have of
can just tell) and if he along with lazy arse Ber- shagging Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton
botov can chip in with 15-20 goals this season put together (no chance). I mean lets break it
and take some of the burden off Wazza, then down and analyze exactly who they’ve bought
I think we will be in pretty good shape. Mid- this season, Yaya Toure’s an ‘alright’ holding
field is an area which concerns me, I think Fer- midfielder, period nothing more. David Silva,
gie missed a trick in not getting anybody in for for me is too lightweight for the premier league,
that particular area (maybe he can’t afford to?). I mean ask yourself this - why hasn’t any of the
But, there’s no point crying over spilt milk, we’ll big clubs took a chance on him before? He’s
just have to get on with what we have. There’s a been about for a while now. Milners alright, but
couple of players who for me are on their last a superstar he is not!
chance salon times this season, none more so (you only had to look at him in the World Cup
than Michael Carrick who is due a big sea- to see that), and the other
son. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing two - Boatang and Kolarov I’d never even heard
against Carrick, he’s an ‘ok’ midfielder, but at the of until the World Cup, and neither exactly blew
same time he doesn’t pull up any trees for me or me away then! Anyway, that’s enough about
4
them bitter blues, Europa League for them.I mix it with the Barcelona’s of this world. I hope
went to the game against Newcastle the other I’m proven wrong and United go on and win it
night and I’ve got to be honest, for the first 20 - but I just don’t see it. I also think we’re long
minutes or so I thought we were a bit sluggish. overdue a good winning run in the F.A. Cup
Wazza’s walking around, shoulders slumped like and that could be a possibility. As for the Car-
he has the weight of the world on them. He’ll ling Cup, well... lets be honest, who really gives a
come good though, he’s too good a player not fuck about that?
to. After that, it got much better though with Another thing that has caught my attention this
the ageless Paul scholes (who by the way, is one
of my favourite United players of all time) start-
ed to dictate the show. I particularly enjoyed the
3rd goal when the ginger nugget floated a
beautifully weighted pass to Ryan Giggs (anoth-
er great servant to our beloved club). Who dis-
patched it with clinical precision, JOB DONE.
I couldn’t get to the Fulham game, I watched it
in the pub with my mates. How we only ended
up with one point, I’ll never know. What was
Nani thinking taking that penalty, when there
were more accomplished takers on the field of
play such as Ryan Giggs and Michael Owen. I
thought Zomora gave Evan’s a torrid time, say- week, was a comment in the sport section of Sat-
ing that I have high hopes for Johnny Evans and urday’s Mirror, by Brian Reade. Brian basically
I truly believe he will be a star for us in years said that the Scousers may be planning to make
to come. Berbotov missed a hatful and Chicar- a green and gold style campaign, to stop Hick’s
ito, after a bright start faded away. Oh well it’s and Gillett
a point more than we got last year I suppose. attempting to refinance their debt in October.
I think the premier league title is well within The article started well with a David Gill dig
about his reaction to the 2,200 unsold season
tickets saying “that’s pretty good” (nice one Dave
good-spin). The problem I have with his
article, is the next comment in regards to the
Liverpool attempt against their clubs owners
Brian said “The resistance to their debt in Oc-
tober against the American compatriots at Old
Trafford will seem remarkably tame. Liverpud-
lians will not allow their club to be strangled
by these cowboy’s any longer.” Whatever your
views on the Anti Glazer Movement, the point
is whether it works or not, the scouser’s could
not organize a piss-up in a brewery, the fact that
our grasp this year and after a tight race with if nothing, the one thing we will learn this year
Chelsea, I expect us to be crowned champions when we win it for the nineteenth time, is that
come may. I fear the Champions Leagues may the dirty’s can’t do anything better than us.
be a bridge too far this year. Mainly because,
as I pointed out earlier in this piece we haven’t - by Mike N
strengthened enough in the midfield area to

5
 By Ian Barber
exploits began on the streets of
Lisbon, not too dissimilar to both
Ronaldo and Nani, but with an
altogether tougher situation. This
Rags to riches tale as its being
dubbed began when Bebe’s mother
dumped him into the Casa de Gaiato
shelter in Loures where he was one
of 8 homeless children. After his
education from the barefooted
roots of street football, Bebe joined
As the news of Bebe’s signing Loures’ local amateur side from
wandered across the bottom of sky which he was plucked to play in
sports news on a dreary a homelesstournament in Bosnia.
Wednesday morning, the With quick feet and a 6’2’’ frame,
collective response was probably the goals came pouring in, with
the same from M1 through to M90, Bebe grabbing 18 of 19 goals in
maybe with the exception of M16. one particular match. After joining
Who the fucking hell is that?! Bebe, Portuguese division 3 side Estrella
real name Tiago Manuel Dias Cor- in 2009, he found himself heading to
reia was a complete non entity to league 1 outfit Vitoria de
us. No tabloid rumblings, not even Guimaraes only a couple of months
any old blokes down the boozer who ago where he played in just 6
claim to have an insider or even friendlies before being snapped up
Fergie himself on speed dial telling by David ‘Debt is the road to ruin’
everyone they already knew about Gill for a reported 7.6 million. Of
it anyway. However, this is hardly course we have to ignore our dear
surprising when you look at Bebe’s neighbours as the obligatory
background. Growing up in a Portu- comments of, ‘You signed a hobo,
guese we signed Balotelli’ come flying out
orphanage, Bebe’s footballing of each deluded blue the wrong side

6
of Ardwick. But this could be one of we have options, being able to be
Sir Alex’s masterstrokes. A transac- deployed as a target man or a speedy
tion based solely on instinct, as he winger should allow the lad to have
admitted that Bebe is the first player a fair crack of the whip even if its
he’s ever splashed the cash for limited to cold Carling Cup nights
without ever seeing play. Makes you away at Oakwell while our boys tuck
wonder how we have signed such a into some courtesy Pies. Learning
shower in the past if he the language maybe a slight problem
actually watched them before. for him, but with fellow countryman
Naming no names. You already know Nani on hand and the help and
who I mean. This is a gamble. In fact, support that Fergie is
this summer’s transfer shenanigans renowned for giving to youngsters
are a huge (No Pick and Mix involved Mr
gamble. It’s so big that it’s sat right Wenger), Bebe may begin to feel at
on Las Vegas Boulevard with a home possibly for the first time. I’m
gigantic red flashing neon sign sure we’ll all welcome him with open
saying Mr Ferguson; this is a massive arms. Who knows maybe
fucking gamble! If the rumours of Fabio will take note and call up 23
Bebe’s fee being in the region of 7/8 East London Big Issue vendors for
million are on the money, then that European qualification? The chances
takes our summer spending to over are that they’ll do a better job, and
25 million on virtually complete un- have a better attitude.
knowns, plus we’re still lacking that
attacking midfielder that we all crave Although JT will be fuming, the
which could have been filled by the Wags wouldn’t be up to much...
likes of Ozil or Sneijder. But in Bebe

Send your story to: newsdesk@[Link]

Don’t worry dear, i’m

going out with John
Terry and Ashley Cole

7
Our Man Stateside
Home of the free, more importantly home of the owners
of the worlds biggest sports team Manchester United.
Mark Seaton spends a year in the biggest, richest and
fastest up and coming football league in the world.
Cheerleaders, fireworks and increased exposure of players and
‘soccer’ mad Americans we have staff to millions of fans across the
just witnessed a country revelling in globe has its effect in other areas
the fact that the biggest clubs in the of business life. Kumho, a leading
world visit for their pre-season tours tyre company used the club for one
and to the Americans, there is no reason – to increase their sales. With
bigger than Manchester United. The many United fans feeling discontent
business life of the Glazer family towards the new regime of heavy
provides a major contrast where their sponsorship and the constant feel-
US shopping mall empire appearing ing of being used to develop another
to be in a coma whilst owning a ‘busi- companies brands, it cannot be
ness’ which is booming in America – ignored that in the current climate
Manchester United. The US tour has these financial developments can
proved to many Reds who recently only further the clubs progression.
watched the events unfold stateside Bearing this in mind, despite intense
that there is a massive scope for criticism of the owners, the US tour
expansion of the Manchester United has highlighted the only positive of
‘brand’ – albeit a term I and many having them in charge; their ties to
other united fans disagree with. While the wealthiest nation in the world is
having success on the pitch with at something which can only help the
times high-quality performances and future of the Manchester United and
entertainment, off the pitch we saw a is an essen-
further improvement from the US tour tial concept
of 2004 which Sir Alex described as in modern
“the perfect pre-season”. The team football.
was welcomed with open arms by America is
the nation that we share the ‘special something
relationship’ with and no doubt did that as a
plenty to strengthen the relationship student I
between the club and the US. This now know
8
plenty about, the history, the culture the other competitors couldn’t hit a
and even the politics have filled much barn door which makes me wonder
of my time during the past two years if the jocks were concentrating on
yet I am particularly intrigued to learn their traditional American sports. I
more about both American sports have often concluded from this that
and the perception of British sports even just eight years ago, two years
across the pond. As a young lad, I before United first US tour, football
visited America and found myself in America was largely unrecognised
immersed in ‘The Wide World of by the American people. Thankfully,
Sports’, ESPN’s sporting complex in as we saw from both the previous
Orlando, Florida, a massive expanse tours to the States, the club has
been welcomed by a huge amount
of fans and press yet from my per-
sonal experience, I question whether
what we have seen on MUTV is the
true American view on the beautiful
game?
As a season ticket holder since the
age of eight, I embark on a year in
the United States; narrowly missing
the Reds tour but experiencing its
aftermath and leaving me with the
unenviable task of trying not to miss
the club too much. I will attempt to
of land which holds numerous arenas understand long distance support,
and pitches to cater for all sports. the American sporting culture and the
Quickly becoming bored with Ameri- aim of Manchester United to spread
can football, baseball and basketball I its fanbase in one of the biggest
was able to track down a sport which countries in the world. While aiming
I was far more familiar with, a sport to watch every game through any
they called ‘soccer’. As a football means possible, no doubt the recep-
fanatic, I could not resist taking part tion I get as a United fan will surprise
in the skills event that they had on me. Will I feel aggrieved at so called
offer and ended up winning a signed ‘die hard’ American United fans, who
MLS shirt for what I thought was a claim the Premiership is a ‘soccer’
relatively mediocre score. What I later league? Furthermore, seeing a Tot-
realised about that particular day was tenham shirt in the crowd and fans
that despite the masses of sports doing a Mexican wave at the game in
enthusiasts flooding into the complex Houston makes me wonder whether
to watch and play sports, the soc- they know what supporting an Eng-
cer centre was often vacant despite lish club really means. I will no doubt
its prime location. I was also later to learn the answer to these questions
be informed by my dad that many of very quickly.
9
 WYTHENSHAWE AMATURES
We at The Red Army Fanzine, believe that the future of the beautiful game is in the youngsters who, if taught correctly
could well become the next Wayne Rooney or Rio Ferdinand. (Almost quoted Whitney Houston there.. almost). This
is why we our sponsoring local Manchester children’s teams to encourage and improve Manchester’s fluorescing future
in high-end football. This month we start with a team that is based just a few miles from our office, Wythenshawe
Amatures Under 11’s. Last year this unknown and untested team played in the league and cup for the first time and
unbelievably won everything they went for. This coming season the league are even planning to move them up two
divisions to make it fairer on the other clubs. Due to this unrivaled success and the fact (of course) that our name is on
their shirts, we went to meet them..

THE MANAGER:
NAME: RAY GIBSON
Manager of Wythenshawe Amatures Under 11’s.

FAVOURITE HOW DO YOU THINK HOW DO YOU THINK

MOMENT OF LAST YOUR NEXT SEASON MANCHESTER
SEASON? WILL GO? UNITED WILL DO
Probably the play-off final, THIS SEASON?
just the fact that our centre It’s difficult to say, because
forward (Tyrell Burke) who we have been told that the I think we stand a good
scored sixty-plus goals all lower divisions are not that chance of winning it. Be-
season, had not scored once difficult in comparison to cause, to be honest with you,
against the opposing team in the higher ones, so if we get I think we (United) were the
previous games, somehow a reasonable level of consist- best side of last year. It was
managed to score 5, it was ency going, I think we will only the fact that we were
phenomenal. It shown what be alright. We’re aiming for without a defense for half a
he is capable off, and the fact top half, at the very least. season, and then we were left
that he didn’t produce in WIth going up two leagues, playing catch up for the rest
some games, but pulled out the kids may need to get of the season. Hopefully, this
the trumps when we needed used to the fact that they are season we will start off with
it. Burke gave us a big relief, going to lose some games a full squad. Hands down,
as it was the game we really next season, but hopefully I still think we’re the best
wanted to win, and his 5 we won’t. team in the league.
goals made that happen.

10
THE CUP FINAL
As well as winning the Under 11 Division 4 league, Wythenshawe Amatures also won the
Under 11’s Division 4 cup and they done it, in some style. The match was played at Trafford
Football Club’s ground against Huff-End Griffins. The game was extremely even and neither
side would give any space for the opposition, hence the full time score 3-3. Extra time brought
1 more each team, and with an even score of 4-4 right at the end, Hollywood Film style,
Amature’s Simon Pilling ran down the left side, saw it all the way to the box and scored. “The
amount of noise from the fans at our end, you would have thought that there was thousands of
us cheering” said one spectator. Making it a final score of 5-4 to Wythenshawe Amatures..

THE PLAYERS...
NAME: Jake O’Sullivan
POSITION: Left Wing
SUPPORTS: Manchester United
GOALS SCORED LAST SEASON: 11
PLAYS LIKE: Ryan Gigg’s
THINKS THAT NEXT SEASON: be alot harder than last sea-
son, as we are going up. I think we’ll finish second.

NAME: Owen-Paul Rawdy

POSITION: Essentially Mid Field but can adapt anywhere
GOALS SCORED LAST SEASON: 39
SUPPORTS: Another team....
PLAYS LIKE: Wright-Phillips
THINKS THAT NEXT SEASON: We will win, we always do.

NAME: Connor Gibson

POSITION: Striker/Left Wing
GOALS SCORED LAST SEASON: 42
SUPPORTS: Manchester United
PLAYS LIKE: Rooney
THINKS THAT NEXT SEASON: Will go quite well, we are going
up two divisions but I still think we’ll finish in the top 3.

If you know a tiny team that want’s to be

sponsored by Red Army Fanzine email us!
newsdesk@[Link]
11
 THE HEADLINES
To prick
or not to
prick?
Used Bottles of
Malaria have been
found outside the
Chelsea training
ground. We asked
mosquito dick himself as he left
training if he knew anything about
this revelation, but obviously he had
Arsene Wenger was disappointed when his ticket nothing to do with it, as that would
to Tottenham vs. the Young boys was not what he be liable. But I think he did?
had expected.

Check this for value!

Our inside information at old Trafford has informed us of
something, we all knew was coming. As we have all heard
there is no value in the market and signings have been hard
to come by with no buget. Well Sir Alex as he always does
has found a way around this problem and not only saved the
club money but improved the team ten-fold. The new United
signing’s have cost the Glazers a total of zero pounds and
observers have already said the young lad is “united though
and though”. The new centre forward playing in the number
68 shirt, goes by the name of Alexander Chapman-Ferguson
and looks very promising. As the market is very narrow at
present, Sir Alex has looked at the options he has open to him
and dusted off his boots to restart his career as a player. Other
jobs the Glazers have laid on for Fergie are: a hotdog vender,
a bar man and a manager if he has any time left. Now that’s
value and then some!
Niel Warnock - Two Seperate People or one and the same?

es there then.
We all knew it. No supriss
he lives a lie and he
We have asked Neil why
”. It would seem that
replied “it just feels good
eens Park Rangers to
Neil took the title of Qu
different?
Miss Doubtfire Neil Warnock mean something totally
12
In the business world, unwise men take more working out its inexorable certainty.
than they give. They do not realize that they Empires built by might are dissolving. Rich
are breaking the Universal Law which will world treasuries are disgorging their gold and
eventually break them to an equal extent. It piling up debt. The blood of every man killed
may not be balanced in the form of dollars by the sword has been paid for by ten – per-
and cents but in the loss of good-will upon chance ten times ten – of those who killed.
which their future Nations which have fattened on the food
business depends. taken from others are starving amid the ruins
Man’s ignorance of the Law of Love in of palaces in which they feasted.
personal and world relationships will not A new world – one world – cannot grow out
serve as an excuse to save him from disaster. of a universe built on the foundations of hate
Wealth cannot be acquired from others by and fear by unbalanced taking.
might, for wealth thus taken will impoverish A new world must have new foundations. An
him who takes anything which is not given. eternal foundation is not built as one whole –
Nor can power be thus acquired, for the it is built lovingly stone by stone. Thus must
weakness of the despoiled will prevail against man rebuild his world.”
the might of the despoiler.
Everywhere in the world this law is seen

Although it was written some forty not for one minute did I ever sit back
years ago, from multi-million pound and really think about what trouble the
co-operate takeovers, platinum plates in club, “our” club was in, as long as I get to
Yugoslavia, blood diamonds in Africa see my beloved reds play beautiful foot-
and oil in Iraq ,Afghanistan and further ball with passion and pride sod the back
a field. It’s words and meanings ring true ground politics and all those involved.
in so many aspects of modern day life. However after reading these
Take from this what you will you may, words it really got me thinking, can our
think nice piece or you may think what!! club really be ran from a purely business
But I think, most people who read this point of view or does it need to be ran
3 or 4 times like me, will not be able to by a person or group who feel passionate
help but see the relevance to our cur- about the club and who really care about
rent situation. I say ‘our’ meaning ‘us’ as the people who work for and support
Manchester United fans. The first Manchester United.
time I read this I instantly thought of
Manchester united, the Glazers, the fans, Have your say about this at:
ticket prices and debt, also my love for
[Link]
the team and how the club is being op-
pressed by tyrants of the business world.

13
 We arrived at walk about bar in the centre of Manchester and immediately there was a united feel to
the place. When David May kindly invited us down to see his new project ‘United Nights’ - The theme
of the event is fans meeting players and the first thing I would say was how friendly the ex-players
were. The whole thing is Well worth a looking for a true red and a great night. With players like Paddy
Crerand,Frank Stapleton, Andy Richie and David May plus Pete Boyle entertaining the crowd, United
nights was fantastic and I can’t wait for the next one.

David May, ex-united player Thomas , Quinton fortune, just of always had time for everyone. Ab-
and creator of United Nights the top of my head. Also, we are solute gentleman!....against ..Sparky
always working on getting more and was a hard bastard you could kick
spoke to us about his night, the nights are always getting bigger him all day and he’d still come back
his career and his views on and better. for more. I also loved playing against
the season ahead... Shearer because the fans used to sing
What reaction have you had back the song about him, and I’d just look
from fans and players about the at him and laugh.
nights ?
What is your most memorable mo-
We’ve had a fantastic response, every ment at Manchester United?
fan whether they are from England,
Norway, Sweden, Africa, Malaysia Scoring at borough and winning my
or anywhere, have all said it’s been first medal. Then, beating the Scous-
a great night, singing songs, having ers in the final and them all looking
photos and just chatting with players like pricks in those suits
Your song is still sung by fans on the
terraces from time to time, how does A lot of the ex-United players who
it feel hearing that? played under Fergie, have gone into
management. Have you considered
I love hearing my song, it still gives it?
me goose bumps when I hear it ..I
Tell us about United Night’s and am very privilaged and proud Nope, I have never thought of going
where you got the idea from? into management or coaching
Out of all the trophies and medals
United Nights is really about the you won with Manchester United, What is your view on this year’s
United fans meeting ex players, which has pride of place in your signings?
having a few beers, and just hearing home?
stories and tales from their playing I like this year’s signings, I didnt re-
days. It’s not often fans get the op- All my medals are in the bank, I’d ally think we needed a-lot to add to
portunity to get close to the players, hate some Scally to get hold of them, our team. If it wasn’t for injuries last
and so I thought it would be a good they mean the world to me and season we’d have pissed the league
idea to start organising the nights when I’m older they will go to my and won the European Cup, I’m sure
and making it possible. children of that

What names can we expect to see on Who is your favourite player you Will we win it this year, to make
the up-coming events? played with and who was the hardest number 19?
opponent you have played against ? City won’t anyway, and that’s for
Most of the players are from the sure.. Haha. I think we’ve a great
80’s, 90’s and of-course the 68 team. I’ve had the pleasure of playing with chance of winning the 19th title, if
Alex, Paddy crearand , Viv anderson some fantastic players but, the one I we stay clear of injuries and the old
Clayton blackmore , Lee martin, loved playing with was Eric, what a heads keep playing like they are do-
Lou Macari, Andy Ritchie, Micky player and a fantastic person he was, ing, then yes, we have a great chance
indeed.
14
 ANDY RITCHIE
We Spoke to Ex-United and Oldham legend Mr Ritchie and he kindly
took a moment to talk to us.

Played at Manchester United: 1975-1980 (He was

signed from school at 15, was an apprentice at 16, and
was professional at 17) and scored 33 games > 13 goals

SO WHAT’S YOUR up screaming and dancing when we looks really promising, and I think
FAVOURITE GOAL? won, maybe even the whole street, looking at Nani last season and how
and apart from my son breaking his he has come on. Plus, Valencia will
A couple of hat-tricks while at toe in the excitement of it all, it was a be a big help this season, he’s got his
United, first one was at Leeds and bloody brilliant night. first season under his belt, and will
then Tottenham. The second game grow, I think he was fantastic in The
at Tottenham was the best goal I DO YOU THINK THE LEAGUE Community Shield. Last season, we
scored, because it was left-footed, I WILL BE DAMAGED, WITH THE were only one point off and the big
wouldn’t say it predominantly right, WAY IN WHICH MANCHESTER decisions we needed, we did not get
but that’s my favourite foot. It was CITY ARE THROWING MONEY i.e: against Chelsea, we got beat 2-1
quite a hard volley from the outside AT THE PLAYERS? and Drogba’s goals were a mile off
of the box, I was quite pleased with side. Plus, the result at Blackburn,
that one. I can’t remember every sin- I think it’s already damaged football, if that had gone our way I believe
gle goal I have scored in my career, if you like. Before the shakes took we might have won it and noone
but obviously I can remember every over, they were on a bit of a slippery would have said anything, Ronaldo
one I have scored for United. It was a slope anyway, but this just accelerat- had gone, plus Tevez, it was a really
dream to play for my home team in ed it anyway. They should have been good test.
Manchester, who also happened to beaten at Tottenham and should’ve
be the biggest team in the World. An been out of sight by half time, so it IN YOUR OPINION, WHO’S
amazing feeling, really. shows, it is not a guarantee of suc- UNITED’S GREATEST EVER
cess. The sums of money that teams PLAYER?
are now paying, especially City or
WHAT HAS BEEN THE BEST Chelsea when they first started it, I did not see alot of them, at least not
UNITED GAME YOU’VE EVER is just blowing everything out of in the flesh, people like George Best
SEEN? the water and will inflate prices for and Bobby Charlton, so I think it
everybody else. would have to be Cantona. Cantona
I wouldn’t say it was the best game had everything, he scored goals but
I have seen, but I think winning the HOW DO YOU THINK UNITED also created play. I like to think of
treble, the 1999 game against Bayern WILL DO THIS SEASON? myself of a player like that, not just
Munich was pretty monumental. The a in-out goalscorer, but to Eric’s
sheer emotion watching that game I’ve got a really good feeling about standard.. If only!
was incredible. We woke my wife it, I think that Hernandez coming in

15
 Star in a reasonably priced bar!
WHY?
Have you seen her?

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR LAST SEASON IN

SNOOKER?
My last season was a mixed bag, I played my best in the tour-
naments that don’t carry any major ranking points. I played
in the Premier League, for only the second time, which is a 7
man invitation event, and I ended up winning that. O’Sullivan
had won it about five years running, so to even take part
was an honour, but to win it was pretty big. I won another
in China, and seemed to be off to a good start to the season,
but then I played the World Championships and lost in the
quarters. The UK Championship title, which I was defending,
I also lost. In my favour, I was seriously ill, and done well just
to make it to the venue, Ding Junhui played a great game, and
deserved to win. Last year, I feel I did not do myself justice
and this year I am hoping to do much better. You win some,
you lose some, that’s the nature of the sport, and I am still
here every Sunday, practicing to keep getting better.

IS THAT YOUR PLAN FOR THIS YEAR THEN?

I hope so, it seems like yesterday since I won the World
ASIDE FROM SNOOKER, WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? Championships, and believe me, they’ve gone by like a flash.
I play some golf and tennis and I am learning to play the I have never had a good run at The Masters in Wembeley,
piano, though to be honest, spare time away from snooker is which is our third Major, so the plan this year is to give that
quite limited. We have a new chairman of our sport, who is one a good crack.
making us alot busier then we have ever been. Last year we
only had 15 tournaments, this year we have 24. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE SNOOKER PLAYER?
Steve Davis, But Mark Selby is a good friend of mine, so when
WHAT’S YOUR HANDICAP IN GOLF? I am not playing I like to watch his matches and support
6 him, and him me. Ricky Walden is also a good friend, and
a few other lads in the game I am quite close to. But, it’s a
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BAND? competitive sport, and it’s hard to have a beer and a joke with
Coldplay at the minute, I am trying to learn some of their someone and then go and play them the next day.
songs. It’s getting me in trouble with my neighbours, when
I’m drunk singing and playing my piano late at night, I am WHAT DO YOU THINK, WAS YOUR BEST GAME TO
convinced I sound like Chris Martin... It seems they disagree. DATE?
The final of the UK Championships two years ago, because it
WHAT’S YOUR KAREOKE SONG? went right down to the last frame and to some of the last few
I have never done Kareoke in my life, but I think I were to, it balls. To go so close to the line, in any major championship is
would be something like Spandell Ballet, as I think I could hit massive. I gave myself a pat on the back as it was my second
the high one. major title and I felt it proved to me, that I was not just a flash
in the pan. But, I mean... Obviously, top of the list has got to
WHO IS YOUR ALL TIME HERO? be The World championships.
Growing up it was always Steve Davis. He was the person I ASIDE FROM YOUR OWN, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS
wanted to be like, emulate and follow in his footsteps. Now, I THE BEST SNOOKER MATCH OF ALL TIME?
look up to people like Roger Federer, he’s the ultimate at his
sport a true professional and role model. I do watch alot of snooker on Youtube and stuff, alot of peo-
ple say that the ‘85 World Final with Davis and Taylor where
WHO IS YOUR DREAM DATE? it went on until Midnight and 18 Million people tuned in,
Cameron Diaz. but I’m not sure about that. I watched a match the other day,

16
I think it was the ‘97 Liverpool UK or something. O’Sullivan
against Hendry, Hendry was 8-2 up, and O’Sullivam came
back to 8-8 and Hendry had a maximum in the last frame to
win it. It was seriously fantastic, and yeah.. Maybe, that’s one
of the best matches I’ve ever seen.

WHERE WOULD YOU BE IF YOU WEREN’T A SNOOKER

PLAYER?
In a lot of trouble to be honest. I left school early, at 13 to
pursue snooker. I never really gave it the thought ‘if it doesn’t
work out, i will do this..’ I put all my eggs in one basket. The
stuff people tell you not to do, is what us Murphy’s did as
a family. I did once think about giving snooker up, about a
month before I won The World Championships, I had lost alot
of matches and was at a low point in my life and career. I went
to Mercedes Benz for a job in Sheffield, selling cars where NOW, UNITED WINNING THE TITLE FOR THE 19TH
I was living at the time, but when I went on and won The TIME, OR YOU BAGGING ANOTHER WORLD CHAMPI-
Championships, I told them I wouldn’t be taking the position. ONSHIP?
I think I am still in the early part of my career, so I wouldn’t
WHO IS YOUR BOGEY MAN? mind sacrificing The World Championships for United to get
I would stick Shelby up there just because we are friends, and one over on the Scousers.
we have both used that friendship to try and get one over on
one another, be it joking at the wrong time or having a laugh DO YOU WISH YOU COULD GET TO MORE GAMES?
with the crowd and trying to put each other off. It’s always Me and my manager have tickets and go when we can, but due
with a wink and a smile and we always know we’re ‘at it’. We’ve to my commitments it’s not always easy. I somehow always
known each other since we are ten, and it’s hard to care about make sure I watch it though. When we were in China, we
someone you have grown up with, but still want to beat them searched for hours and found this bar, that had it on at 5am,
and play well, but that’s just the way it is. you’ve gotta do, what you’ve gotta do.

WHAT IS YOUR FIRST MANCHESTER UNITED WHICH GAME THIS YEAR ARE YOU MOST LOOKING
MEMORY? FORWARD TO?
Since I can remember, I have watched and supported Man- I am looking forward to playing Chelsea the way in which
chester United, my manager is a life-long time fan too. The they have started the season. I mean we have the Manches-
best memory I have of all the games I’ve been to, is Rome ter Derby and Liverpool. But, for me.. it’s all about Chelsea,
Champions League final, even though we lost. It was a great They’ve started the season like they mean it, and I can’t wait
experience to watch them abroad and to watch them come for us to take them down.
out, you never get to the final and think you’re going to lose,
and when we did, it was devastating. When you watch on ONE LAST QUESTION, WE HAVE TO ASK.... PINK OR
TV and see all the fans crying, you think ‘get a grip!’ But, BROWN?
when you’re there and lived and breathed it, every emotion is Pink, definitely pink!
amplified and gets to you. Coming home, we were all sobbing
like babies.

WHO IS YOUR ALL TIME FAVOURITE UTD PLAYER?

Cantona. People said he was quite arrogant. I think people
who are arrogant and don’t back it up are idiots, but the you
get people that are ‘arrogant’, but can back it up with this
amazing talent, I think when that happens you have to step
back and appreciate it as confidence.

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE CURRENT PLAYER?

I couldn’t look any further then Rooney. I get the impression
Rooney would play football for £50 a week, with the same pas-
sion he does now, and as a paying fan, I love that.

WOULD YOU PLAY FOR £50 A WEEK?

Haha, yes, of course!

REALLY?
100% hand on heart.

17
Over Seas Supporters
with: Łukasz Chrobok

In 1991 Legia Warsaw played in UEFA Cup I have to tell you here about the man who
Winners’ Cup against Man United. That made a huge work in developing of polish
was first moment when Polish Fans could musc. WithoutMateusz Barwa vel Shadow-
to see United live. MUSC PL(Manchester Winter we wouldn’t be where we are today.
United supporters club ploland) consider Also important was our chairman Wojtek
this match as unofficial beginning of our Pielok vel Prezes. This guys are the biggest
branch. The years before were like in Mid- united fans as I’ve ever met. One year af-
dle Ages of supporting. Internet was unde- ter that, after we were registered we had
veloped and the news about MUFC we were our first travel to Manchester as Support-
taking mainly from tv and from teletext. ers Club. By Wojtek Pielok who organized
Nobody even dream’t about traveling to ticket at the game against WHU in October
Manchester, only a few people in that time 2008 we had chance to be at old Trafford.
had the possibility to realized this dreams. Before that day of course, people were vis-
Today in age of cheaper air lines it is totally iting stadiums in UK, in other countries
different. In 2007 few lads from Silesia in at champions league but never before in
Poland decided to register our activity in so big group! 20 polish reds spent about 3
administrative court. It was result of our days in Manchester. That was something
meetings in cities and watching together amazing, being together in the Bishop
United’s matches. We had got small but and chanting with mancunians chants,
very strong group of people with passion. which we were singing before only in Po-

18
land, watching matches in tv in pubs. Our
flag has been on SE. I had the honour with
about 5-6 my lads to seat, wrong, to stand
at Stretford. That was unbelievable. My first
match at OT and straight away on this leg-
endary stand. We were chanting all match.
Nowadays we count about 200 members
and we are official fan club authorized by
old Trafford in last year. Main of our mem-
bers are adult and posses One United what
is required by OT. How much is cost of be
member in MUSC PL? We have member-
ship fees in about 200 zlotych what is 40-45
[Link] main of this is cost is from One
United membership which MUSC PL buy
each year for every adult member. Every
year in vacations we’re organizing meeting
of our members in small town in central
of our country. In next week about 60 of
us will be drinking beer, chanting, playing
football, talking and having a great time in
Sulejów. A great moment was a Audi Cup in
Munich. We were there in very strong count
about 50-60 lads. Munich is about 800 km
from Katowice from where we started our
trip in rented bus. We made good mood in
Allianz Arena on our stand. We’re traveling
also very often to Manchester last time, af-
ter we had been official SC. In each month
someone from Polish MUSC is on Old
Trafford. Our dream is possibility to getting
ticket on away matches in Premier League.
Why? There is the best atmosphere! Unfor-
tunately modern football is killing chant-
ing on stadiums, standing… it’s horrible.
Glazers time is hard try for fans. Lot of our
members is also supporting FC United. If
we are in Manchester, and FC is playing
somewhere where we can go, always we are
there.

19
 STEVE
BROOKES
What happens when you’re in the pub and some idiot makes a point about something
you know is wrong. The sort of quote or information that only a stupid child would
believe (the sort of slow, lame, incredibly large cretinism that only a window licker
with the brain of a brick would go with). Don’t you just hate it when you know better,
but there is no way to prove it? We have all been there, me twice a week at least. It’s
the moment when the moron say’s “Paul Schole’s has scored 180 goals for united” or
“I was there when we scored 9 goals against villa”, they are far fetched but you get the
idea. Well here is a good way to solve this problem, Steve Brookes has wrote all the facts
down in a…wait for it because it’s brilliant …A BOOK! The publication has upon its
pages every result since 1992, every league table, every squad list, manager
profile, player profiles, chairmen, profiles, history and background, trophies, head to
head v Man City since the beginning and a lot more. So, should you need to win that
argument or just use the figures to remind you of the games and seasons you saw, this
is the book for you. The book is available in all good bookshops or you can get your
copy by going to:
[Link]
On which you can use PayPal or other methods. so go-on, get quoting!
for a signed copy tel: 07917 175 808 email: sbpublications@[Link]

Below is a Extract from the Book....

First Games of Every Season

English Premier Sheff Utd 2-1 Man Utd 15-08-1992

English Premier Norwich 0-2 Man Utd 15-08-1993
English Premier Man Utd 2-0 QPR 20-08-1994
English Premier Aston Villa 3-1 Man Utd 19-08-1995
English Premier MK Dons 0-3 Man Utd 17-08-1996
English Premier Tottenham 0-2 Man Utd 10-08-1997
English Premier Man Utd 2-2 Leicester 15-08-1998
English Premier Everton 1-1 Man Utd 08-08-1999
English Premier Man Utd 2-0 Newcastle 20-08-2000
English Premier Man Utd 3-2 Fulham 19-08-2001
English Premier Man Utd 1-0 West Brom 17-08-2002
English Premier Man Utd 4-0 Bolton 16-08-2003
English Premier Chelsea 1-0 Man Utd 15-08-2004
English Premier Everton 0-2 Man Utd 13-08-2005
English Premier Man Utd 5-1 Fulham 20-08-2006
English Premier Man Utd 0-0 Reading 12-08-2007
English Premier Man Utd 1-1 Newcastle 17-08-2008

20
Euro Flag Nights...
Stretford End Flags (SEF) is a independent supporters group who’s aim is to improve the
colour and atmosphere within Old Trafford.
SEF was initially set up to provide new banners for the front of the Stretford End and while this is still the
main aim of the group, SEF encourages ideas for improving the colour and atmosphere accross all of Old
Trafford.
For the European home games, SEF encourages supporters to bring along their own flags. On Uniteds Eu-
ropean away trips we see a great array of supporter flags and encourage
supporters to bring these along to Old Trafford.
For the European home games, SEF provides volunteers to wave the groups large Tifo flags on the pitch.
All supporters are encouraged to get involved with SEF, by submitting designs for banners, ideas for mosa-
ics and other ideas aimed at enhancing the Old Trafford atmopshere.
In recent years SEF have come up with the ideas for the “BELIEVE” mosaic as seen accross Old Trafford,
Wembley and Moscow as well as the “FOR SIR MATT” mosaic that was seen at the 2009 Champions
League Final and European Cup mosaics for the Streford End, as well as the “20LEGEND” mosaic seen at
Ole Solskjaers testimonial. SEF encourage YOU the supporters to submit ideas for future mosaic designs.
This season, SEF plans to introduce an array of 2 stick flags for the European and large cup home games and
more details on these will be announced soon.
In order to provide banners, TIFO flags and other ideas, SEF relies on donations from YOU the fans, on av-
erage a Stretford End banner costs SEF £450 to produce. To find out how to donate or to submit your ideas
visit the SEF website at [Link] or contact SEF via email at stretfordendflags@hotmail.
com Together “We’ll Keep the Red Flag Flying High”

19
 newsdesk@[Link]
22
 Gary the Goldfish
Blows Paul the Octopus out the water!
Gary the Goldfish is Red Army Fanzines very own psychic

Now im sure most of you have and true miracles. That’s why the goldfish was
heard of Paul the octopus and we are pleased to have come owned and raised by
yes he is very talented. But may- across an honest prophet, a Paddy Crerand. Paddy
be fame has gone to his head. straight-talking, in-to the future bought Bob the goldfish at the
many people, including myself, seeing, real psychic. Now being age of eight years old (Paddy
are a bit skeptical about his a united fan he is reluctant to go not the fish) and he never spent
background, maybe just maybe against united United but he will a minute away from Bob even
he’s a normal always pick the scores he truly listening to Manchester United
cephalopod that every now and believes will be the outcome of on the wireless together every
then eats from the right bowl. each game. He’s name is Gary weekend. Bob The Goldfish did
We at Red Army Fanzine have the goldfish. WE at Red Army rub off on Paddy, it must be said
had the please of meeting and Fanzine always get behind what- Paddy Crerand was a little bit
bringing on board our own ever Gary predicts and already biased after his time with Bob
result predictor and he’s amaz- he has predicted correct scores the Goldfish. We came in pos-
ing and we believe he is United’s for some of our resent games session of Bobs grandson Gary
answer to Paul. Yes folks he not apart from Fulham but who via the gypsy that put the curse
only predicts who will win but could have predicted that? Paul i on Maine Road so Gary’s a red
he’s able to predict the scores don’t think so. and he knows the future.
[Link] at Red Army Fanzine be- Gary The Goldfish comes from
lieve in only printing real fact’s good stock, his granddad Bob

Gary’s
Predictions
We asked Gary what the result would be
against Liverpool and Bolton. In regards
Liverpool he instantly went over to the
United flag and preceded to blow two
bubbles from his mouth then
sheepishly over to the dippers flag and
blew 1 bubble which we read to mean
2-1 for United. Bolton was much more
optimistic as he blew four for united
and only one for Bolton
(United 4 Bolton 1). Thanks Gary!

23
24
... a race for life:
In it’s forth year the Northenden
Boat Race is one of South Manches-
ter’s big summer event’s. This year
Red Army Fanzine backed the race
and for the first time in its history,
ran the event for charity. Christie’s
Charity received over £3,000 from
the 27 boats involved, plus a charity
auction after the days race.
From the first year to now, the leap in peo-
ple rolling up and raising money for Chris-
ties is great and Red Army Fanzine’s help
has been fantastic”. High points of the day
included a cross-dressing team called ‘two
oars in a boat’ who won best effort though
they came in second to last. Ex-Crew and
Altrincham player, now on the training
staff at Manchester United, Colin Little
turned up with the smallest boat ever, en-
tered into the competition. Not much big-
The day went to plan and most of the boats ger than a lilo, the boat completed a whole
got to the end, though one or two people 5 or 10 yards before deflating, sinking and
had to swim back. 27 boats started the
race, 54 competers, and thousands of spec-
tators, showing how far the race has come,
from the original 2 boat race 4 years ago.
The winner was one of our own, Darren
Lamb (Red Army Fanzine) and Anthony
Macmillan (Southport FC) who, even if we
say so ourselves, had a 50 yard (plus) lead
over the second place. We spoke to Andy
Cameron and Mark Chapman two of the
Boat Race organizers about this years
event “the turn out this year was great and knocking him out of the race. We look for-
the result was as controversial as ever. I was ward to next years race on bank holiday
told some cheating went on at the start by Sunday in August at high noon.
the winning team but the judges let it go.

25
 Gibson spat exposes home truths by Ed Rant
Darron Gibson’s very public ar- son. Departure seemed inevita- “It’s understandable why this is
gument with Ireland coach Gio- ble until Ferguson’s late-summer so because he plays for Man-
vanni Trapattoni over his role in intervention. Last season, 12 chester United and that’s differ-
the national team offers plenty of starts, with 23 games in all and ent to playing for Stoke because
insight into the midfielder’s state five goals tells a story of some you are attacking more whereas
of mind. Gibson says that he is progression at least. with Stoke, or a team outside the
not ready to step down a level to Some say it is time for the player big four, you always have to put
get more game time. The Italian to repay that faith at club and in- men under pressure to win pos-
coach, meanwhile, says that the ternational level. Indeed, Gibson session.”
Manchester United player must has reached a turning point in It’s a suggestion that summaris-
add to his game. his career. Perhaps critical even. es the core argument of Gibson’s
Perhaps each is right but Gibson If the midfielder, who has built a critics. The midfielder, so say
is the party who stands to gain reputation for spectacular long- those most frustrated with him,
most from heeding the advice of range shooting, cannot make is too flash, too young. Almost
as if he has already bought into
unjustified hype, based not on
consistency of performance but
isolated incidents of the spec-
tacular that has masked failures
in the mundane.
True, Gibson has already scored
both the breathtaking and the im-
portant for United in his short ca-
reer to date. None more so than
the clean strike that put Fergu-
son’s team into the lead against
Bayern Munich is last year’s
Champions League quarter-final
at Old Trafford. But the player’s
inconsistent passing and first
touch are matched by a casual
approach that is rarely tolerated
by the Old Trafford crowd.
a genuine coaching legend. it at Old Trafford now, he may “What I told him was that, for
Turning 23 next month, Gibson never do so. him, the action is not finished
is no longer the callow youth, al- Yet the month-long dispute when he does not have the ball,”
though the player’s limited expe- with the Irish management of- said Trapattoni yesterday.
rience to date – just 21 starts with fers some insight both into the “I told him that in this great team
United – tells a slightly different player’s technical shortcomings (United) it is not easy to play in
story. But the player has enough and his state of mind. After all he this situation because he plays
attributes for United manager Sir is now on the sidelines for both with ten great players and when
Alex Ferguson to have fought to club and country. these great players have the ball
keep the Derry-born midfielder “Gibson is a young player but they play.
at the club when his contract ran maybe he needs to improve “He must ask for the ball, he
out last summer. more in terms of putting pressure must want the ball. That is impor-
After a mediocre spell on loan at on the opposition,” said Trap- tant. He has to work to get the
Wolverhampton Wanderers dur- patoni’s assistant Marco Tardelli ball. He has fantastic vision and
ing the 2007/8 season, Gibson last month, who has picked the the long ball and he has a good
returned to Old Trafford making Irish team after his manager’s personality with the ball.”
just nine starts the following sea- recent operation. Roy Keane’s long-standing as-

26
sertion that hard work comes of winning anything, then I who is yet to make it in the
first, then talent takes over is just don’t know,” said Gibson. game, his dismissal of advice
even more applicable to those on “At what club, other than Man- from one of the world’s great
the team’s edge. Gibson should chester United, could I go to coaches is a genuine concern.
take [Link], Gibson’s dis- improve my game? To be hon- He need not leave Old Traf-
missive reaction to legitimate est, if he’s trying to say that I ford but Gibson must work
criticism from Ireland’s team should move somewhere like harder at his game than those
management has bordered on Stoke City and change my with greater natural talent.
the arrogant and is unlikely to game to winning tackles and Perhaps Darren Fletcher’s is
attract a positive response. It not winning games, then he’s the example that the Irishman
is not the first time that the having a laugh. should follow most keenly.
midfielder has courted con- “To move on from Manches- From pariah cruelly dubbed
troversy. ter United just doesn’t make ‘The Scottish Player’ to, quite
“If Trapattoni wants me to sense to me.” literally, United’s most impor-
move on from a club like Man- It’s an attitude many United tant midfielder in 200 games.
chester United to better my supporters will endorse. Af- Gibson could yet make it.
game, move to somewhere ter all, they say the only way Judging by recent comments,
like Stoke where I’ll get more is down when a player leaves the only person holding him
games but have little chance the club. But for Gibson, back is the midfielder himself.

Sponsors back Rooney over prostitute claims.

Actual slogans for his sponsors.
Jokes Coca-cola have said “You can’t beat the feeling”
Nike responded “Just do it”
Where as EA sports have changed theirs to “She’s on the Game”

Apparently man city were trying to sign Frank Ribery

Two Scousers race off the pre season. The bid was dropped because, if Ribery was
edge of a cliff. playing with Tevez, any televised matches would have to be
Who wins.....Society shown after 9pm

Q: Why dont you get a cup of tea at More match fixing allegations emerged
anfield? today after man city players were
A: Because all the mugs are on the accused of deliberately playing shit for the
field and all the cups are at old traf-
ford. last thirty four years

Alex Ferguson is walking down Sir Matt Busby way when he

sees Rio and his brother messing around in the hedges next
to him. Well that’s why he signed him………..
Because a Ferdinand is worth two in a bush
Q: How can you tell a level headed Liverpool
fan?
A: He dribbles on both sides of his mouth
— at the same time

27
SONGS FROM THE TERRACES
Who’s that knocking on the closet?
Who’s that knocking at the door?
It’s Mancini with his broom,
Come to sweep the trophy room,
Cos they haven’t won a thing in 34
Forget about Ronaldo, and Carlos Tevez too.
Cos we have got a man, he’s United through and through.
He may twat your groundsmen, or bomb down the left wing.
He’s French, He’s fast, He’s fucking class so hear United sing.
Tra La La Laaaa, Patrice Evra

Huray!, Huray!,
It’s a BeBe holiday,
He used to live in a dirty skip,
now he’s on ten grand a day!

34 years just waiting for a chance to win another trophy

give silver wear a glance coz for 34 years i bin living next
door to city CITY WHO THE FUCK ARE CITY

HARISH VISHRAM
CHESTER ROAD NEWS
selling newspapers, magazines and other
goods, including greetings cards, stationery,
cigarettes, sweets and cold drinks

674
Chester Road
Stretford manchester
Why i love The European Cup by Tom Stafford

Let me set the scene. The same ‘Soccer AM’ inspired won it five times” or maybe
date is Tuesday the 10 of nonsense that away fans even six or seven. We were
April 2007, the venue is a aim at us, but we know that the first English side to win
buzzing Old Trafford with in Europe, we can look for- the European cup in 1968
an atmosphere so electric ward to different nationali- and the last to do so in
you could be mistaken for ties of fans bringing their 2008.
someone who has just put countries terrace culture
their finger in a plug sock- to our stadium. Whenever It saddens me when you
et. With less then twenty people ask me who brings see so much apathy to-
minutes on the clock, Alan the best fans to Old Traf- wards the group stages of
Smith has just fired United ford, my answer is always a the Champions League
into a two goal lead on the European team. now. I know that growing
night and turned the ag- ticket prices and the credit
gregate score on it’s head. European football has al- crunch have made it hard-
Roma were stunned. You ways been a big part of er for many Reds to make
could sense this was going Manchester United. Start- every game and the emer-
to be a special European ing with Sir Matt Busby gence of the Automatic
night and fortunately for championing British teams Cup Scheme hasn’t helped
United fans, we get our fair entering The European matters at all. We’ve been
share of them. Cup and ending up where very fortunate over the last
we are today. Three Euro- twenty years to be as
Every year when the draw pean Cups to our name out successful as we have been
comes around, United of the four finals we have and maybe qualifying for
fans, particularly match played in. Not to mention The Champions League
going ones, crowd around The Cup Winners’ Cup suc- has become something we
the Television to see which cess in 1991. We’ll never now take for granted. All I
teams are going to be vis- forget the young men who know is that you don’t real-
iting O.T and which weird lost their lives represent- ly miss something until it’s
and wonderful cities we ing our football club in the gone and when Old Traf-
can look forward to visit- Munich air disaster. Many ford is rocking like it was
ing on our travels. In the older Red’s assure me that that night against Roma,
Premier League we are without that day we would there is no place on earth
subjected to much of the be the ones singing “we’ve I’d rather be.
 T he Daily mirror. Whether
patting United on the back
with hand and stabbing them
in the same place with the
other as in 2000 or whether
totreat Rooney as “non human” will know that. But this is part
employing someone whose for no other reason than dislike, of the celebrity culture we live
CV must read of just “I hate one has to wonder where the in and the constant accessibil-
Man Utd and I car not rite Mirror will stop. The unpleasant ity that players both court and
very wel”, the Mirror have for thing is that you would imagine feed from often comes back to
a long time been the scourge they won’t stop until they’ve gone bite them. Rooney’s every move
of Britain’s most popular too far. And, sadly, splitting a throughout his career has been
football club. Their Wayne family up doesn’t seem like a step under a microscope; this year
too far. Publishing the story with alone has seen the majority of
Rooney expose – published
just a few days to go until Rooney the media almost willing him to
with no direct quote or evi- heads to a venue – Goodison – get injured for 4 months (ending
dence from anyone with a where he is likely to come un- with the inevitable) and castigat-
name, and published despite der extreme abuse, is asking for ing him for daring to indulge in
Rooney having obtained a something else. normal young man activities like
“super injunction” – showed having a night out.
the lengths they will go to in I implore all United This shouldn’t matter to the
order to attack Manchester supporters reading this and hav- 70,000+ match goers every other
ing the same thoughts on their week and those millions around
United. conscience to do s the world who want to watch
omething about it. Stop him play 90 minutes for United
Coming just 18 months after a
reading or buying the Mirror, or and concern themselves with
former Mirror journalist who
write to complain. Read on, for supporting the club only. But
now writes for Football365
why. the intended vitriol focussed on
proudly admitted to his part in
Rooney is done so with the one
encouraging the burning effi-
It matters not whether the story purpose of detracting from his
gies of Beckham in 1998 (though
is true, in this instance. If it is club form so they can revel in
backtracks with a “I didn’t tell
true, then Wayne Rooney has United’s subsequent probable
them to do it!” style comment)
been a very silly boy indeed. He lack of success. Rooney is a shy
and implored England supporters

30
lad, but has still made himself ac- nightclub DJ incident the Mir- ness charter is “constant harass-
cessible to the media, so it begs ror launched a hard defence of ment of Manchester United”
the question, why pick on him? Gerrard; one only imagines what their paramount objective? Over
There are other players with kind of childish insults resident at Football 365 the writer who
“injuctions” out, one “allegedly” fool Derek McGovern is conjur- was working for the Mirror at
a Liverpool player. No-one of ing up in his mentally challenged the time (whose name evades
course can touch that. Liverpool cranium considering his illustri- me, I think it was Nick Miller but
are currently afforded an indefi- ous past. Please bear in mind I’m I can’t be sure as the article has
nite blanket of media protection not comparing the incidents, I’m since been deleted) openly con-
post-Hillsborough, where the comparing the Mirror’s treat- fessed with writing a piece after
Sun and the News of the World ment of both stories at similar the World Cup in 1998 with the
daren’t publish anything truly stages. intention of getting up Fergie’s
negative about the club and the back. Outstanding professional-
Mirror, having curried favour As I said, though, it’s the contin- ism. Proudly describing the in-
with them as a result for the last ued dedication to attacking Man- spiration for the headline of “our
20 years, revel in the fact they can chester United that is going too duty to taunt Beckham”. Why
do things to destabilise United. far. The alleged affair took place would any right thinking indi-
Why would they want to ruin the almost a year ago; the injunction vidual write such a thing?
relationship with Liverpool now? talk has been around since April.
One can only look at the way The Mirror have chosen to go Why, after seeing what happened
they reported on the Gerrard / DJ against the injunction because with Beckham in the following
incident and the angle they have filth sells; that’s no big surprise months, would they think it’s
chosen to pursue the Rooney sto- and my reaction isn’t one of na- right to try and put another play-
ry. With Gerrard, the Liverpool ivety. But choosing to reveal the er through it? Why choose NOW
player was described as “gentle” story now, with Rooney look- to release a story that has been
and the DJ as “foul mouthed” ing like finding form and with around the blocks for a while,
despite the video evidence from Everton away as his next game? with no evidence to support it?
Radio City revealing an unpro- Choosing to go with the story It’s less than soulless, it’s vindic-
voked attack. Rooney has been now, with Rooney’s kid almost tive. It’s seeing what happened in
portrayed as the villain of this a year old, knowing that you’re 1998 and hoping for similar or
piece against an “innocent” pros- sending the man into a lions den worse results.
titute! The video “interview” with next Saturday. Very classy, fel-
said prostitute consists of no in- las. Fergie is faced with two op- Wayne Rooney might well be a
formation whatsoever save for tions, drop Rooney to save him silly boy; but it’s those at the Mir-
an answer of “yes” to the ques- the incredible level of abuse he ror that should be ashamed of
tion “did you sleep with Wayne is destined to face, or field him themselves even more. They were
Rooney”, which is followed by a and put him through it. I’ve no responsible for encouraging and
stupid smile. Without wanting to problem with Everton supporters inciting the behaviour towards
question the cast-iron credibility as a whole but let’s face it, there Beckham in 1998. They’re just
of someone who charges money will be one or two trying to get as responsible for doing so now,
for sex and willingly sleeps with very personal with him when he’s with the knowledge of how their
expectant fathers, the beaming within earshot. And that’s the writing can influence the behav-
smile at answering the question best case scenario. iour of thousands of morons.
screams of someone not quite be- When will they stop? Sadly, the
ing completely honest. Is this kind of incitement what answer clearly seems to be, “not
helps the people at the Mirror go until they’ve gone too far”.
In the following days of the to sleep at night? On their busi-

31
 Is it all that bad?
I’m not sure which bit gets proper one) he has commit- when Rooney has done his
on my nerves more? Is it the ted is in his personal life and thing, kids all over the land
fact that even after the World should not and I’m sure will instantly fail at every target
Cup shambles, the papers not affect his professional in life ?
and TV are still scrambling career. Take for instance, The cricketers somehow
to show and cover every those don’t fall under the same
moment of The National cricketers who if proven firing line, even though they
side whether it is important guilty not only shamed their not only cheated at their
or not, or is it the point that sport, own names but also game but made some good
Wayne Rooney yet again is their own country. These money out of it too, how’s
the talk of the town. What players have not been put that for a role model? Well
ever your views on what through the same coverage Wayne better get used to this
he did or did not do with a as Rooney by a mile. Ok, I’m as it looks like the press has
prostitute, The part of the not saying they have been got his number marked and
whole ordeal that get’s me ignored but the coverage every time he slips our great
annoyed is the way in which was on a smaller scale and national papers will pull him
the press rally together to was one sided. The reason down as far as they can. How
have a dig at him. With the the press target footballers would they have covered it if
story on the front and back is because of the role model we had won the world cup?
of every paper across the theory. Using the point that Don’t worry Wayne your real
land, the crime (which by young kids look up to them fans at United are with you.
the way is not a crime, well a and want to be like them,

32
 Crossword
ACROSS DOWN
2. what is Manchester United kit man called
1. Aganst which club did Mark Hughes score
who starred in an advert with Ronaldo 6,6
his first senior hat trick 5,5
5. Where was Ryan Giggs born 7
3. Who scored the goal that is said to have
7. How many times united won the fa cup 6
saved sir Alex’s job 4,6
8. Who was sir Alex Ferguson’s first signing
4. Who was United manager before sir Alex
as united manager 3,8
3,8
9. What is United new signing Bebe’s First
6. Which team ended United’s 40 year
name 5
unbeated home record in European compe-
10. Which club signed Paul Ince from
tition 10
United in 1995 5,5
11. What was Brain Mc Clairs nickname 6
12. Who was united goalkeeper in the 1989-
90 fa cup final win 3,6

answers on [Link] 33
 What’s going on folks?
By Sufiyan Kala

Newcastle at home. First been a louder place, the first crime because the husband
day of the season and the match versus Hull was quite and wife who’ve only been
second song in, “Who’s that a vocal one with the scarves coming since 2003 can’t
t**t from Argentina”. How being twirled and the songs see from behind you! Old
uplifting it must be for the being sung. Our results also Trafford’s atmosphere has
players when after all that proved that the atmosphere had some
happened last in the stands was channel- cynicism thrown
season; narrowly missing ling out onto the pitch. So towards it over the
out on the league, why some of our fans previous years with there
unluckily getting knocked feel need to sing being too many ‘prawn
out of the European Cup about players who sandwich brigadiers’
and the bad luck with no longer play and the ‘funeral’
injuries at the wrong times for us or players type atmosphere
of the season we sing about who aren’t on the described by Fergie
somebody who no longer pitch or even on the after
wears the famous red. Our bench just mystifies
support never fails to amaze me! Where’s the
me at times! originality gone?
Even at the end of last Whenever
season at crucial times in the Calypso
matches the once-great- is sung, it’s
now-become-s**t Wesley almost a race to
Brown song was being sung see who can
for no apparent reason. finish it first.
Sometimes Wesley wasn’t Sweat drips from my
playing and sometimes he head every time I clap along
wasn’t even on the bench al- to it. “Take me home” is al-
together. Our support needs ways sung with half a heart
a kick up the backside. and the holding of scarves
Since the rise of the G&G whilst singing “We’ll Never
campaign, Old Trafford has Die” has become almost a

34
the dreadful performance ner. We can reclaim the I intend to make as much
off the pitch against Bir- rivalry between each stand noise as possible’. Now I’m
mingham in 2007. But we’ve to see who’s loudest. How do not say this will definitely
proved on so many occa- we do that? Well getting in change the atmosphere
sions, against Roma, Milan, early for starters helps the from rather dull at times to
Liverpool (in 2007), Barce- atmosphere build, the JCL’s a cauldron or noise but it
lona ( in 2008), Arsenal ( in don’t help one bit. The airing will somewhat improve it. It
2009), Milan, Bayern (for of more original songs, U- doesn’t matter if we’re
the first 43 N-I-T-E-D (although it in- playing Barcelona or
minutes anyway), City, Liv- volves City is a good one to Bristol City, Liverpool or
erpooland a few more last get the atmosphere going), Hartlepool. Old Trafford
season that if the fans are slower versions of the Ca- should always be a cauldron
given a kick up the backside, lypso and more songs about of noise, an intimidating
if the fans are given the fir- players. But mostly we need place for away fans and
ing up that is needed then to change the attitude of the players to come. We’ve done
we can reclaim the ‘louder United fans that come week it for the odd game now
than a jumbo jet’ roar of the in week out from ‘it’s just we need to aim to do it for
Stretford End when Rooney another match’ to ‘this could nearly every game!
heads in a last minute win- be my last United match and

35
 As the boo’s and jeers echoed around Cape Sunderland at home last season? Blackburn
Town’s Green Point Stadium in late June, away? The latter featured some of the most
a dejected Wayne Rooney trudged off to vicious victimisation of a player in recent
the dressing room, making his feelings memory. It was clear to see that Dimitar
know to ITV’s waiting cameras. ‘’Nice to was having an absolute holocaust, as Carl-
see your own fans booing you, that’s loyal ton Palmer might say, but the abuse hurtled
support’’, muttered our number 10, much his way was horrific. For one reason or an-
to the disgust of a nation of misguided other, the laxydasical Bulgarian hasn’t ex-
once every four year football fanatics. actly enamoured himself to us, but let’s at
‘’We’ve paid good money to come here, least respect the shirt.
they should at least beat Algeria’’, cried
hosts of cretins across South Africa. And As far as I’m concerned, I’m proud as fuck
this is the reason why they’ll never realise to be a Manchester United fan. The sound
what it’s like to be a United fan. of ‘’we’ll keep the red flag flying high’’ ring-
ing in my ears during the very occasional
Or at least it should be. The pain of losing bad result makes me happy to be a red. It’s
to Leeds last term was bad enough, but to not just about winning trophies, it’s about
hear large portions of the so called Old feeling part of your club, so much so that it
Trafford faithful booing and hissing at the feels like it runs in your veins. This is what
eleven men in red at half time was outra- keeps us coming back each week, and foot-
geous. I’ll admit we were awful and Well- ball fans all over the country as they flock
beck was woeful, but if you think that boo- to a most of the time windswept ground in
ing your team is the perfect tonic to being the pissing down rain every Saturday.
humiliated for 45 minutes by your rivals
then seriously, fuck off to Eastlands. For us, with our success, comes evil. The
day-trippers, the glory supporters, the
The simple fact is that we are United. You’ve prawn sandwich eaters and the tourists that
all seen the banner, not arrogant, just bet- have been fragmenting our support for the
ter. We have the best team, the best man- last decade. Sure, they pump money into
ager, the best ground and the richest his- the club, although at the moment that’s not
tory in the land. I’d dearly love to write that necessarily a good thing. With this new
our fans are leagues above every other club, breed of United fan comes an overriding
but we’re increasingly being let down by a expectancy with about as much patience
‘booing’ minority. Leeds, unfortunately, is as Stevie G with a shit DJ. These types will
just the tip of Iceberg. Care to remember scream and shout, boo and jeer, or even

36
have a wander into the team’s dressing to London was electrifying. We could have
room to have a nice little chat about where been trounced by the dippers that day and
it all went tits up. it wouldn’t have mattered.

At the end of the day you have to ask your- The standards at this club have been set so
self what is your reason for supporting Unit- high by those who have preceded us that
ed? I was born a red, and was taken down to we must continue to strive to maintain our
Old Trafford only a couple of years later for honourable history. With this in mind, at
my first taste of M16 and Warwick Road. I’d the time of going to press, Wazza’s actions
dearly love to remember my first match but are scattered all over the red tops with pret-
I was too young to probably know where ty incriminating evidence of his infidelities.
the hell I was. Unfortunately, I’m not old While many of us seem split on the issue,
enough to proclaim that I was there for Di- here comes my two pence. While I will not
vision 2 football, or the wilderness years of be booing or abusing Wayne for his pretty
Sexton, but I’d like to think my attitude has fucking stupid actions, I sure as hell won’t
always been the same. Win, Lose or Draw, act in the pathetic way Chelsea fans did
it doesn’t matter, because I’m here enjoying when Mr Chelsea himself was revealed
watching the team I’ve followed all my life. to be the terrible twat we knew he was all
along. We shouldn’t sink to their level and
Personally, one of my greatest memories condone that kind of behaviour, as I’m sure
of following United was the 96 FA Cup Fergie will agree.
Final, probably still up there as one of the Let’s face it, 2010-11 is going to be as tough
best days of my life. Having dragged my ex- as ever, but the unwritten rule which every
tremely pissed off Dad to Wembley at 9am manchester United fan sould know and
for a 3 o clock kick off, the atmosphere and adhere too is WIN, LOSE OR DRAW you
the feeling of following my local team down never EVER boo a united player.

h!
a-laa
ooh la
 Statistics
Two great players...

38
 Statistics
..One great team

39
 Big Brother is watching you...

I didn’t see any of the final series of Big

Brother. I’m sure it’s been great though. and Burnley, requiring the travelling sup-
Anyway, as BB viewers are no doubt porters to report to their team’s ground at
aware, the concept of an all-seeing, all- the crack of dawn and be ferried on official
dancing “Big Brother”, with his beady coaches, taking their seats hours before
eye on the fall of every sparrow, comes kick-off. He may’ve talked about Leeds
from George Orwell’s chilling ‘1984’. and Millwall having to deal with the same
Written in 1948, it warns of a not-so- sort of stuff, while he’d have mentioned
distant future where the state controls the hundred or so Stoke fans who were
everything, and nobody is safe from its rounded up in a Manchester pub, given
all-encompassing glare. Orwell report- Section 28 orders, and put on a bus back to
edly planned a sequel, ‘2010’, but never Stoke without getting anywhere near Old
got round to writing it. It was about foot- Trafford. “But what about the game and
ball fans who were criminalised and de- these tickets we’ve paid for?” “We’re the
humanised for the offence of wanting to police, go swivel.” These assaults on foot-
go and watch their team. Maybe. ball fans’ civil liberties are baffling and ex-
tremely worrying.
If he’d written it he probably would’ve
predicted recent games such as the East And so we turn to the “Battle of Brit-
Lancashire derbies between Blackburn ain” (yawn) which was thrown up by

40
 whose position denotes that he is a repre-
the Champions’ League draw, and it’s the
sentative of football supporters everywhere
turn of Glasgow Rangers fans to be herd-
happily accept these ridiculous measures,
ed about like animals. This is because the
and worse yet to see it as an opportunity to
Rangers fans had a right old time when
“prove to the world” how cuddly and nice
(reliable estimates suggest) the best part of
Rangers fans are is sickening. This is how
100,000 of them descended on Manches-
it starts. The rot will slowly set in until, one
ter for the Uefa Cup final in 2008. (I think
day, supporters will have to travel on offi-
they claim the number is closer to about 6
cial club trips for every away game. There’ll
million – like how City had 250,000 fans
be a compulsory purchase of a replica shirt,
on that hill behind Ewood Park when they
half-and-half scarf (sponsored by Sky) and
got promoted.) I was away in America at
hot dog and coke. There’ll be cheerleaders
the time so missed them throwing up, fight-
and there’ll be penalty shootouts to end ev-
ing among themselves and all the rest of
ery game. It’s the football Sepp Blatter and
it. (“Town stank of piss for about a week”
Tim Lovejoy have been dreaming of. Yet
is one assessment I was given recently.)
we continue to let it happen.
As a result, the Rangers fans heading to
Manchester – in spite of the fact there’ll be
The police and the authorities in general
about five percent of the number there was
honestly believe that, come Saturday, foot-
last time – have quite a day planned out for
ball supporters are a subspecies who can
them: official club coaches will take them
be pushed, pulled, slapped, locked up,
from Glasgow to Wigan’s DW Stadium,
sent home or whatever, for the simple rea-
where they’ll spend the day – I know, tell
son that we’re football fans. An attempt to
me about it – with “refreshments”, before
avoid being videotaped while stood in a
being ferried to OT for the match. It’s quite
pub or leaving a ground is met with “well
a price they’ll be paying to be treated like
if you’ve nothing to hide you won’t mind
crap all day long. And if any of them don’t
being videotaped” and similar drivel. It’s
fancy this arrangement, they can’t go to the
time for football supporters everywhere –
game. Simple.
regardless of affiliation – to stand up and be
counted. The signs aren’t good: the pathetic
It’s amazing that the authorities can get
inability of United and Liverpool support-
away with imposing such stringent, dispro-
ers to put aside rivalry in order to help shift
portionate and over-reactive methods, but
our respective owners is testament to that.
the thing is, they do. Some complete door
Our game is falling apart. It’s time for ac-
knob called John Macmillan, Chairman
tion and direction, but at the moment it
of the Rangers Supporters’ Association,
seems there’s neither.
described it as a “necessary precaution”
– what a complete top hat. He goes on to
The only thing necessary for the triumph of
say it gives Rangers fans “an opportunity
evil is for good men to do nothing...
to show they can behave”. Well, no priz-
es for guessing who was Chief Prefect at
Glasgow School For Girls. To see a person - Chris Wrathall

41
 Turn out was as good as match day

42