Script Title - Charlie

Student Banner ID – B00309769

Section 1: Critical Analysis of the development of your script.

In this section you should critically analyse how your script developed throughout the

module. You should discuss the impact of peer and tutor feedback on your writing and

rewriting. In doing so you may wish to mention some of the following: 1) the

externalisation of internal thought, 2) the process of show don’t tell, 3) the development

of character biographies (internal aspects of character), 4) the writing of your

treatment, 5) the writing of your scene by scene, 6) the development of character wants

and needs, 7) scene structure, 8) three act structure, 9) writing dialogue, 10) writing

action, 11) the process of re-writing, 12) the absence of hot seating exercises, 13) the

table read exercises, 14) the discussion board contributions. You may also wish to

discuss how other scripts, or short artefacts (such as the short films shown in class)

influenced your writing process. You may also wish to discuss how other creative works

have influenced your scriptwriting process.

I would like to see direct quotations from or reference to some of the following: 1) your

script, 2) peer/tutor feedback, 3) your treatment/scene by scene in the construction of

your discussion.

In the very beginning I found it hard to come up with an idea for a screen play because I

found it hard to externalise internal thoughts and put them onto paper. I got past this by

writing a character biography before I had an solid idea. My character biography helped

me come up with a plot and I continued from there. I tossed and turned about writing a

real life piece or an animation. I chose to write an animation and I got inspiration from a
video we watched in class involving little birds. This video of the little birds gave me

great ideas and inspiration for if I were to ever make my animation; The facial

expressions in particular were a favourite of mine. This time around I didn’t use the

discussion board and I found this had a negative impact as I was not able to get

feedback from my peers about my story line and character biography even though I had

done them. I feel like tasks like the discussion boards, hot seating and table reading are

very important for the process and progression of your script and it’s characters. Out of

the two table reading sessions I only managed to produce a script for the first table

read. Due to family issues I had not finished redrafting my script after the first table

reading session. I feel both table reads are vital in your production of your script and my

script is definitely not as polished as it should be because I missed that read. Despite

that in my first table read was great! A lot of my notes involved that I needed to show

everyone what the character is doing instead of telling. One example in my script being

“Emily lives in a small cluttered council flat on the bottom floor” I fixed this by

describing the room and Emily such as “We enter a small living room with shelfs packed

with ornaments and plants.” I feel like making little changes like these made my script a

lot stronger by letting the reader see what the room and character is like through

description instead of telling them what the character or place is. A few notes I got from

my peers were including spelling, structure and information. One of my peers said

they’d like to know what my characters look like so in my second draft I made sure to

have described my characters. One main point I was given was to change my structuring

as my parenthetical positioning was wrong which made it confusing for the readers. The

feedback I got for my second draft outside of class was to add SF instead of describing

the sound in the Action. To improve my script I added in SF: Bang instead of the

previous “She hears a loud bang.” Re-writing my final draft I found difficult due to the
fact I missed out on feed back for my second draft. I edited the script by adding more

action and conflict. By doing this I feel like my script is more interesting to read. During

script writing I came across the difficulty of picturing camera angles for the animation I

was creating. I felt If I were to create this animation I could make my screen play a lot

more funnier. Instead to overcome this obstacle I added more action into my script. One

example would be me making the “Kitten” hit a plate of the dinner table and by showing

that the kitten was the one causing all of the trouble. This time around I found writing

and developing a lot more difficult than my stage play. I feel as though if I had taken

more time to do more exercises with my script that it would’ve improved greatly.

Section 2 Demonstration of contribution to peer writing group(s).

In this section you should discuss how you contributed to the development of the

scripts of those around you. In doing so you may wish to mention some of the following:

1) feedback you provided on treatments, 2) feedback you provided on scene by scenes,

3) feedback you provided via the table read exercises, 4) general feedback you provided

at other times, 5) times when you were not sure how to provide feedback or unsure

about providing feedback on specific scripts.

In our first table read I pointed out a few errors whilst I was reading some of my peers

scripts. One of the main one’s I noticed was in my class mates script about a tin opener.

Basically he had not described what the two main characters had looked like so it was

hard to perceive the character. I gave advice to add some more description of his

characters and their surroundings. Another point I made was to a class mate who’s

script was about caring for a sibling. Whilst reading I picked out that key words such as

characters names and bold descriptions that might be important were not in capital

letters. Names and important verbs are very important so I suggested she capitalised
them so that the readers/performers can pick up on the importance of these items.

There were several silly mistakes which I made myself such as spelling errors and

duplicated words beside each other but once noted my peers knew how to fix them

without anyone else’s feedback. One script I read over in the second table read I noticed

that in continued scenes the writer had not put CONT. or written whether it was day or

night. I suggested so the readers, directors, or performers would know to add in if the

scene was continued on from a prior scene and also what time of day it is. It’s important

for all people involved that we know what time of day it is as it can change the

characters mood and the setting.