Self- Care
During Tough Times
We all go through challenging times at various points in life—whether it’s a health crisis, the
end of a relationship, family issues, financial difficulties, academic problems, or the death
of a loved one. Self-care is very important when going through such experiences.
Here are some ideas to help you get through challenging times:
Stop, breathe, and tell yourself: “This is hard and I will get through this 1 step at a time.” During an un-
expected event or crisis, we are faced with dealing with a new reality and it takes time to incorporate
what happened into our everyday lives. Identify the steps you need to take first, write them down, and
focus on each step one at a time…if you look at everything you have to do, you will become over-
whelmed. Remember you can only do 1 thing at time and focus exclusively on that 1 thing.
Acknowledge to yourself, what you are feeling. All feelings are normal so accept whatever you are
feeling. Once you recognize, name, and accept your feelings, you feel less out of control. You can
then find a comfortable place to express your feelings. During periods of extreme stress and grief, it is
very hard to hold back your feelings, particularly your tears and anger. This is normal so describe this as
grieving or sadness or anger…you are not falling apart…you are grieving or feeling angry-sadness. It is
important during this time of intense feelings to reach out for support to a trusted person or
professional.
Find someone who listens and is accepting. Look for the brightest light in the darkest night. Cry, talk,
hug, and just rest in the company of someone safe, someone you trust. Consider getting professional
help, if you need it. Sharing our stories is how we begin to accept whatever happened and integrate
it into our new reality. It may be that we just need to let go of our expectations of how things should
be and talking about your feelings and beliefs is the beginning of that process.
Maintain your normal routine as much as possible. Making everyday decisions…deciding to get
dressed, do the dishes, or go to work, for example, gives you a sense of control and feels comforting
as it is a familiar activity. Be realistic with what you can do and remember everything right now will
take you longer to do. Avoid making major decisions based on the stress you feel right now.
Allow plenty of time for a task. You will not be as productive as you normally are. Accept how much
you are able to do right now and recognize it will not be this way forever. During periods of extreme
stress, prolonged stress or after a crisis, your ability to concentrate and focus on tasks is diminished and
it will take time for your concentration to return so give yourself extra time and…
be gentle and accepting of yourself with what you can do.
Get enough rest and sleep. Sleep at least 6 hours and not more than 9 hours. If you are having
difficulty sleeping, listen to peaceful, slow music and/or do progressive relaxation just before you
go to sleep. Sleep is how our body heals and strengthens our immune system. If you have
continued difficulty, consider seeking help from a University Counseling Center staff or other
professional.
Eat regularly and make healthy choices. Skipping meals, particularly breakfast, contributes to
fatigue, mood swings, and poor concentration. Healthy choices (foods not high in simple sugars or
caffeine) maintain your blood sugars and therefore your energy and concentration.
Know your limits. Some problems are beyond our control. If something cannot be changed, work
at accepting it for what it is. Resist the urge to fix the unfixable or try to control the
uncontrollable. Remember, adjusting to change takes time. If you are holding on to something
and need to let go, journal about it, or talk about it with a professional or someone you trust.
Identify or create a nurturing place. A nice view, finding a favorite spot on campus, rocking in a
rocking share, and soothing music are important components to a nurturing place. Twenty
minutes of rocking in a rocking chair can reduce both your physical pain and anxiety. It is like
giving yourself a hug. Music and nature sounds nurture our being and lifts our spirits.
Escape for a while through meditation, a book, a movie, or taking a short trip
Practice relaxation or meditation. Go to your nurturing place and listen to guided relaxation tapes.
Time spent in meditation or prayer allows your mind and body to slow down and let go of the
stress. Take a mental vacation in the midst of stress by relaxing your body, shutting your eyes and
visualizing yourself in your favorite vacation spot or quiet haven.
Consider seeking professional help. Many people find counseling to be very helpful with the healing
process. The University Counseling Center offers individual counseling, consultation, and support
groups. “Let’s Talk”, our consultation service, is another option to speak with a Counseling Center staff
on campus. All services are free and confidential.
You are not alone.
Contact us or Just Stop by: Let’s Talk
University Counseling Center Speak with Counseling Center Staff.
400 Patroon Creek Blvd., Suite 104 On-campus Locations.
between the hours of 9AM and 4:30PM , No appointments Necessary.
Monday through Friday.
Locations and Times on our website
518.442.5800 albany.edu/counseling_center
[email protected] We are located near the uptown campus. You can also call the
Free Shuttle Bus service from 2 locations: Middle Earth Peer Assistance
Social Sciences and Collins Circle.
Hotline
Look at our website for more information: A Peer Resource: “Students Helping Students”
albany.edu/counseling_center 518.442.5777
M-Th: 1PM-12AM, Fridays & Weekends: 24 hours
