What does the speaker advice about the 'otherness of lovers' in

the poem Advice to Women

Eunice de Souza’s “Advice to Women” guides women to learn the art of being
stoic in relationships. De Souza’s adroit use of an extended metaphor where she
urges women to learn the art of haughty detachment from a cat adds a certain
uniqueness to the poem. In this piece, she shows the way a woman, internally
weak and mentally dependent on her partner, is treated. The main theme of this
piece taps on “otherness of lovers”. The poem “Advice to Women” begins with
a short, prickly remark: “Keep cats”. De Souza tells them to pet cats if they
badly need to learn the art of coping up with a break-up. She compares the
heartless attitude of the lovers to the idea of “otherness”. Otherness is a quality
of being different. So, the phrase “otherness of lovers” refers to the change of
mind when men find a better-looking material in exchange for an old, worn-out
piece placed carelessly in their attic. She ironically says that the otherness of
lovers does not always convey a sense of neglect. It is not that the heartless
lovers do not care for their partners. They do care for a specific need only. She
uses the metaphor of a cat and says that they always return to their “litter trays”
when they feel hungry. Cats are often portrayed as a symbol of selfishness and
mischief. She says that there is no need to be sad one only has to accept the fact
that cats will always be surprised perhaps forgetting that that someone is there
and why they should be cared for. Lovers, obviously do the same thing leaving
one until the end. De urges women to be happy with themselves as cats are and
to handle romantic breakups to the same indifference to the world of cats when
lovers behave unjustly rather than being indifferent. The poet uses a metaphor
of a “stare of perpetual surprise” in order to portray what happens with women
when they become too engrossed in the affairs of their partners. They get a cold,
surprised look from their heartless lovers if they do so. The “perpetual surprise”
stands for their emotional detachment and internal coldness for their former
partners. Furthermore, the poet uses the visual imagery of “great green eyes”.
The colour “green” stands for rejuvenation and new life. It also portrays the idea
of passivity. This symbol is used to signify how men move on with their new
partners. Their eyes glisten with the amazement of a new relationship. This
passive look will teach a woman that it is better to stay alone than finding
another partner. Such an incident makes a woman stronger from the inside. She
becomes fearless of death. Most importantly, she does not feel insecure about
being lonely or single anymore.
Comment on theme of religion and individuality as reflected in
the poem Bequest.
Eunice De Souza, being a feminist poet, explores the nuances of conventional,
patriarchal society and its impact on a woman’s mind through her poem
“Bequest”. Through this piece, de Souza reveals how a woman speaker’s
mindset is shaped, revised, and amended from an early age. The way she learns
everything naturally is also monitored to shape her mind according to the
patriarchal structure. She used to think showing one’s true emotions is
symbolically portrayed by the image of Christ holding his heart. But she tried to
follow the same, society made her follow the standards. Finally, as a grown-up
woman, she thinks she is like a “plastic flower”, devoid of truthfulness,
selfhood, and most importantly her true identity. The important themes of
“Bequest” are patriarchy, feminine identity, womanhood, and convention vs
individualism. She writes this piece from the perspective of a speaker whose
mind is shaped from an early age. The patriarchal society has made her change
her openness and truthfulness in order to be a “Wise Woman”. Now, her smile
does not reflect the true happiness of her heart. Rather it shows the fakeness of
her emotions. In the last lines, she says that she has only her heart to bequeath to
her partner as a form of sacrifice.
The poem “Bequest” begins with an idea that is similar to the overall theme of
the poem, sacrificing oneself, hence loosing one’s true individuality. De Souza
presents a cliche image of Christ holding his bleeding heart out in his hand. This
image has two facades. Firstly, it is a religious symbol of Christ’s sacrifice and
passion. On the other hand, it portrays the speaker’s bleeding heart inflicted by
the norms of patriarchy. However, the poet interpreted this image of Christ
differently. She sees it as a symbol of openness and truthfulness. Holding one’s
heart out to someone is a symbolic gesture of being true to others. It means
Christ holds out his true emotions to the world. The speaker learned this idea
from this image. So, she remained true to everyone. There is no fear in
revealing her true self to others. But society did not allow her to be herself.
Some recommended following the stern, unrelenting and authoritarian standards
of patriarchy. Some of them told her to float along with other women. In this
line, the poet uses a metaphor for floating downstream. So, the stream stands for
the patriarchal standards. In order to belong to this society, she has to float
along, not knowing where this stream will lead her.
In the poem one of the lines allude to the saying of Christ. In his testament to
mankind, Christ advised humans to accept whatever comes their way. They
have to always be ready for the things that the creator sends them, be it good or
bad. Furthermore, the speaker emphasizes the fact by using the expression “of
course”. It seems that the poet is depicting Christ as a symbol of patriarchy in
these lines. The speaker expresses her wish to be a “Wise Woman”. Who is a
“Wise Woman” from society’s point of view? A woman who knows only the art
of smiling, not the art of being self-satisfied, is the one who is “Wise”. She is
“Wise” as she has taken the deliberate decision of accepting the norms
unquestionably. And now the society has made her a “plastic flower” devoid of
any reality or life. Finally, the speaker ironically says that she is going to
perform an “act of charity” like Christ accepted crucifixion for the sake of
humankind. But the speaker is performing a sacrifice not for others, but for
redeeming herself from her mental sufferings and shackles the chains of
patriarchal morals and values.