2 2 Speaking effectively

The art of speaking

‘Jan, can you spare a minute?’

‘Hi Dave. What’s the matter?’
‘Well, while you were away, the others decided to go ahead with their request for a
crèche. I’m supposed to see the boss about it tomorrow.’
‘Oh?’
‘Well, I’ve thought about it and I think we’d stand a better chance if you come too.
You’re a better talker than I am.’
‘Well, thanks but I’m really not sure …’
‘Oh! Don’t worry, I’ll give you all the details. We decided that …’

Supposing someone did ask you to do this. How would you react? Would you go
along and just trust to luck that the right words would occur to you when
you needed them? Or would you plan your approach? If the boss didn’t give in easily
to your request, would you become aggressive? Or would you keep calm? If Dave
wasn’t presenting a very good case, would you butt in impatiently and take over?
How do you estimate your ability at effective speaking? Not just the formal
occasion but in face-to-face discussions and interviews, at meetings and on the
phone?
Perhaps because we learn to speak before we write, or perhaps because speaking
is so much a part of our everyday life, we are liable to take speaking for granted and
as Chapter 1 implies, ‘open our mouth before engaging our brain’. But it is not just
the ‘big occasion’ which requires care and attention.
In Chapter 1 we looked at the problems in the communication process. The same
principles apply in the countless speaking situations which present themselves at
work. They may involve you in simply answering a phone call; on the other hand,
they may involve participation in group discussion, giving information, instructing
someone new in the procedures of your department, presenting an idea at a

Chapter 1 Speaking effectively 11

meeting, or making oral reports to your manager or head of department. They may
also involve you in giving short talks at work or as part of your social activities. Later
on, they may involve interviewing and acting as chair. In Chapters 1–11 we shall
look in more detail at each of these situations. In each of them you will be drawing
on the range and flexibility of your communication skills as you try to express what
you have to say in clear, precise and forceful spoken English.
Let’s look first in this chapter at the basic skills of speaking which apply in any
situation:

(a) personal qualities and

(b) vocal qualities – enunciation and pronunciation.

2.1 Basic speaking skills

Assignment: First of all, think of someone whose speaking ability you admire.
● What are the qualities and characteristics which contribute to their success
when speaking? Make a list.
● Have they any qualities which distract or irritate you? List these.

Now think of someone you regard as a poor speaker. Add to your list ways in
which you think they could improve their skill at speaking.
Keep this list – it represents what you think constitutes good and poor oral
communication and it should form the basis for all your efforts to increase your
own skills as a speaker.

Personal qualities
Clarity
To be a good speaker you need first and foremost to be able to express your ideas
clearly. Your language should be simple and your material organised so that it can
be easily followed. You should avoid trying to impress by using long, complicated
words. Of course, you may have to use specialised vocabulary or jargon in some sit-
uations but you should take care to explain any terms that may be unfamiliar to
your audience.
As well as clear thinking, speaking clearly also means uttering the words distinctly
so that they are easily recognisable.

Accuracy
You should also make sure that the words you use say exactly what you mean. You
therefore need a reasonably wide vocabulary so that you can choose words with
precise meanings to suit your purpose.
The facts you use should be correct, so you should take care to research your sub-
ject thoroughly and ensure that any authorities you quote are reliable. You should
also avoid making statements which go beyond the facts and which might therefore
be challenged. Statements which begin ‘Everybody thinks …’ or ‘Nobody in their

12 Mastering Communication
right mind would accept …’ are always dangerous and open to challenge, especially
since they are likely to create a hostile reaction.

Empathy
Always try to be courteous and friendly. However angry you feel, try to control your
emotions and at least remain calm. Perhaps the best way to be courteous and polite
is to put yourself in the other person’s place. Try to make yourself feel what the other
person is feeling. Putting yourself in the other person’s place in this sense helps you
to establish empathy for that person. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with
them or their ideas, but it does help you to be understanding and be patient. Facial
expression and tone of voice are obviously important here, especially in group
discussions and interviews.

Sincerity
This really means being natural. There is always a danger when talking to strangers
or people of higher status of becoming stiff and awkward, and trying to put on an act.
This usually stems from lack of confidence. Of course, when you talk to your boss
you may not talk in exactly the same manner as you would when you talk to a friend
or colleague, but you should strive to be yourself as much as you can in all situations.

Assignment: Consider how you normally speak when talking to friends or

members of your family. Then think about how you speak when talking to your
boss or someone very senior to you.
● Does your voice sound much the same in both instances? If so, then you prob-
ably speak in a natural way most of the time. (Of course, your choice of words
and phrases may, and probably should, be rather different.)
● Do you freeze up when talking to certain people?
● Does your voice become higher or lower?
● Does your rate of speech speed up or slow down?
● Do your movements and posture become stiff and awkward?
● Does your accent change?

Relaxation
The best way of getting rid of these unnatural speech characteristics is to relax.
When our muscles are tense, we have difficulty expressing ourselves naturally.
Awkward movements are also the result of tension.
Try taking a deep breath. This may help you to relax. If you freeze up with tension,
you probably begin holding your breath without realising it. If you can remind your-
self to breathe in a natural manner, or even more deeply than usual, your muscles
will be more relaxed, and you will be too.

Eye contact
In Chapter 4 which looks at the importance of body language, we will see that
direction of gaze and length of gaze are important factors in synchronising speech

Chapter 1 Speaking effectively 13

and signifying desire to be friendly, but it is worth reminding ourselves here how
crucial eye contact is whenever people are speaking to one another.

Assignment: Have you ever been in conversation with someone who seems
unwilling to look you in the eye and intent on looking almost everywhere but at
you? How does this make you feel? Write down your feelings and/or discuss them
with others in a group.

A speaker who never looks at his or her listeners may be conveying messages like
‘I am not very interested in you’, ‘I don’t like you’, ‘I am not very sure of myself’, ‘I am
not sure about what I am saying’ or even ‘Don’t believe what I am saying’.
So when you are speaking give your listeners their fair share of eye contact. Don’t
keep your eyes on the desk, or in your lap or out of the window, and when you are
talking to a large group move your eyes around the room, treating your audience as
individuals. They will prefer a slightly hesitant speaker who shows interest in them by
looking at them, to a highly fluent speaker who reads with head down over their notes.

Appearance
How you look can affect how well others understand you. Your appearance reflects
how you see yourself – ‘self-image’. Since your listeners cannot help but notice your
appearance they will receive metacommunications from the way you dress and
your general grooming. In most speaking situations (apart from phone conversa-
tions and the radio) people see the speaker and form judgements about them even
before they speak.
Attractive dress and good grooming are obviously important in formal situations:
the public meeting, the job interview and so on. But being ‘dressed up’ or ‘dressed
formally’ is not always practicable or even appropriate and in some jobs it would be
absurd. Supposing you are in the middle of a dirty job and you are called to the
manager’s office or asked to explain something to a visitor, what then? Well, your
personal appearance should commend you. Even oil-stained overalls can convey
the impression that they are well cared for and that you consider personal cleanli-
ness and tidiness are important even when you have a dirty job. There are therefore
two important things to consider
● personal cleanliness and tidiness
● dress and appearance appropriate to the situation.

Even as a new employee, you should realise that the way you look affects the impres-
sion you make. Take your cues from the others around you and dress accordingly.
This doesn’t mean losing your individuality completely but it does mean being flex-
ible and ready to adapt your appearance to suit particular circumstances. So, if you
go for extremes in fashion when you are not at work, tone things down for work.

Posture
Good posture is also important. Someone who props up the wall or slouches in
their chair as they speak conveys a message to their listeners which may surprise

14 Mastering Communication
them. Their attitude is showing. They are either tired or bored or careless, or all
three! And the listeners are not likely to be impressed.
Another important reason for examining your posture – how you sit and stand
when you are talking – is that posture is related to voice quality.
If you slouch over, hang your head or let your shoulders droop, the quality of your
voice will not be good, because your breathing is affected. You cannot draw as much
breath into your lungs, nor do you have complete control over how you let out the air.
Furthermore, if you slouch or bend your head down, your throat muscles, jaw
and vocal chords do not operate as freely as they should, with the muffled, poorly
pronounced results we have seen.
Poor posture also affects your voice psychologically as well as physically. The
sense of not caring about yourself or about anything – communicated by poor
posture – creeps into your voice as well. If you have a hangdog look, your voice will
probably have a hangdog sound. It will be listless and spiritless. A whining quality
which most people find unpleasant may very well colour the tone of your voice.
By improving your posture when talking, you can do much towards instilling in
your voice and your whole manner four characteristics of good voice quality.

Check-Points: Characteristics of Good Voice Quality

● alertness
● pleasantness
● distinctness
● expressiveness

Vocal qualities
Don’t think that you can’t change the way you speak. You can and do control your
voice all the time. Listen to the way you use your voice in different situations, rais-
ing and lowering the volume, adjusting the tone to suit particular circumstances
and so on. You can improve your voice if you want to, but you have to work at it. The
first step is to be aware of the factors which affect the sound of your voice.

The mechanics of speech – speech involves many mechanical skills. It requires a com-
plicated manipulation of the diaphragm, the lungs and muscles of the chest as well
as vocal chords, mouth, tongue and lips.
The vocal chords are rather like rubber bands stretched across the interior of a
kind of box called the larynx behind what we call the Adam’s apple. As the air in your
lungs is forced up through the larynx and past the vocal chords, sound is produced.
The sounds are affected first by the vocal chords, and then successively by the posi-
tion of the jaw, the interior of the mouth, the tongue, teeth and lips. Of course, you
are not aware of all this when you speak, unless excessive speaking, tiredness or
emotion draws your attention to your voice.
To ensure that the sounds you produce are clear, your throat muscles must be
relaxed, your jaw must not be taut or rigid and your lips must be flexible and capa-
ble of assuming a variety of positions. If you have ever had an anaesthetic injection

Chapter 1 Speaking effectively 15

at the dentist you will know what it does to your ability to move your lips properly
to pronounce the words.

Pitch – a person whose voice has a high pitch may sound thin or squeaky or shrill.
A person with low pitch will sound deep or throaty. When your vocal chords are
stretched tight, the sound will be higher as the air is forced past them causing them
to vibrate (like plucking a tight elastic band).
When people are frightened or tense, their vocal chords stretch tight and their
voices tend to squeak. One way to relax your throat muscles is to practise this sim-
ple exercise:

Practice

Take a deep breath then, as you breathe out, say several short syllables, for
example:
‘She gave us all a short talk on art.’
Try it. Notice how the tightness disappears as you exhale. It is in fact, physically
impossible to breathe out and keep the muscles tight at the same time. This is
why deep breathing can help you relax.

Volume – volume is more easily controlled than pitch, but practice is still required
to get the right volume. Proper breathing is essential to volume control and good
speaking. Practise taking deep breaths and letting out the air with just enough force
to generate the right volume. Learn how to project your voice so that you can be
heard at great distances without yelling or sounding strained.
If you can control your voice and speak clearly without appearing to strain or
shout or run out of breath, you will impress your listeners by the quality of your
voice alone. They are very likely to assume that you also know what you are talking
about and will find it worth their while to listen to you.
The right volume depends on the situation. You should therefore note:

– where you are speaking (in a small room or a large lecture room; in a room where
sound carries well; in a room where sound echoes; indoors or out in the open), as
the location will affect how well your words can be heard;
– the size of the group to whom you are speaking;
– background noise, for example the noise of air conditioning.

Diction and accent – diction is the way in which you say or pronounce words, and is
acquired. To some extent it is affected by your accent. Someone from the north will
have different diction from someone who comes from London or the South. Diction
depends on ‘articulation’ and ‘enunciation’, which are terms used to describe how
you pronounce words:

– articulation refers to the way people pronounce consonants

– enunciation refers to the way people pronounce vowels.

If people articulate and enunciate well, that is clearly, they will have good diction.
Good diction is generally considered to be the result of being well educated and well
informed.

16 Mastering Communication
 However, it is important not to confuse diction with accent. Whatever your
accent, you should pronounce your words clearly. Listen to television and radio
announcers to hear the difference between accent and diction. There was a time
when ‘BBC English’ was held up as ‘the way to speak’. Nowadays, every possible
regional accent is represented and is quite acceptable because the speakers pro-
nounce their words clearly; so like your accent, your diction will tell your listeners
something about you.
If you mispronounce words, for example, ‘labratry’ instead of ‘laboratory’, ‘nucular’
instead of ‘nuclear’ or drop your ‘h’s’ or ‘t’s’, as in ‘Ave you go’ the le’er?’, or slur your
words, you won’t impress your listeners. In some situations this may not matter.
In others, such as a job interview, it could mean the difference between getting
something you want or need and not getting it.

Assignment: Record your voice and think about the way you speak – the physical
process you use to produce the sounds.
Now write a short critique of your speaking style. Include good and bad points.

Vocal tension – blurred, indistinct speech can be caused by a tight, rigid jaw or tight
lips. If your throat is tight, it is almost certain that your jaw will be tight. The jaw
should be relaxed and ready to open and close freely as required. If it doesn’t do this,
the sounds come through a half-closed mouth and consequently are unclear. It is
also impossible to get expression into a voice produced under these conditions and
the result is a voice which lacks vitality and sounds monotonous.

Practice: Testing your Jaw Movement

Test your jaw movement for yourself. Tighten (i.e. half-close) your jaw and say, ‘A
cleverly devised scheme’. Notice that your teeth and lips hardly moved.
Now relax your jaw and let your teeth and lips move freely while you say the
phrase again. You should be able to detect the difference quite easily. If not, try
it again with a tape-recorder. Repeat the exercise and see if you can detect the
difference.

Practice: Jaw Relaxation

Grit your teeth and tighten your jaw. Hold this position for a few seconds.
Then let your lower jaw sag. (It may help to let your mouth drop open as you
do this – best done in private perhaps!) Note that while your lower jaw is sagging
you can put your tongue between your teeth. This tells you that your jaw is
relaxed.

Chapter 1 Speaking effectively 17

Often when we are lying down and think we are relaxed, our jaw is tight as a result
of inner tension. Practising this exercise when trying to get off to sleep can be very
effective.
Tight lips, or lips which do not move very much during speech also affect the
sounds which are made. Billy Connolly, a Glaswegian, when asked if he made an
effort to change his accent when he came south of the border said ‘No! I just open
my mouth more. Glaswegians have mouths like letter-boxes. They don’t open their
mouths much when they speak.’
This emphasises the difference between accent and diction. If you have a strong
regional accent don’t try to change it, but do make sure you open your mouth and
use your lips flexibly to pronounce your words clearly.

Practice

Try this experiment. Set your lips in a straight line (like a letter-box!) and try to
say the words ‘bit’, ‘team’, ‘fill’, ‘kite’, ‘see’ and ‘chap’ without changing the position
of your lips. Now try ‘hip’, ‘load’, ‘murmur’, ‘no’, ‘rain’, ‘yet’ and ‘weigh’.
Notice how the pronunciation was affected. This is because the lips should take
a different position in order to produce the first letters in each of these words.
Now try saying the words again naturally.

The good speaker would have ranged through all the lip positions. A small range of
movements automatically means that some consonants and vowels become diffi-
cult to distinguish and this results in poor communication. Even listeners with good
hearing rely more than they think on ‘lip-reading’. If the speaker’s lips do not move
very much, the words can be more difficult, if not impossible to understand.

Practice

If you are aware that you don’t move your lips very much when you speak,
practise this exercise.
Say ‘soon’, ‘seen’, ‘sand’, ‘sawn’, ‘sow’, ‘side’, ‘such’ – concentrating on putting
your lips in clearly different positions.

At first you will find it helpful to exaggerate each movement, but don’t exaggerate
your lip movement when you are talking to other people. However, when you are
speaking in a very large room to a very large audience, it may be helpful to make
your lip movements slightly more pronounced than normal, to cope with the dis-
tance your sounds must carry.

Speed
The speed at which you talk will also affect the message you are sending. Speaking
very quickly conveys a sense of urgency to the listener. This may be useful at times,
but speaking rapidly all the time, pouring out your words in a great rush, may cause
your listeners to switch off because they have learned that the implied emergency

18 Mastering Communication
does not really exist. Speaking too quickly may also make it difficult for you to be
understood, and you probably won’t pronounce each word clearly and carefully.
Most people who speak in public actually speak at a slower rate than they do in
normal conversation. But, of course, this depends on their normal speed, and they
cannot afford to speak so slowly that the minds of their listeners wander, or their lis-
teners become bored or lose track of what they are saying.
The good speaker varies their pace according to the relative importance of what
they are saying; thus unimportant words and phrases are spoken quickly while
important words or phrases will be spoken more slowly.

The use of the pause

If you spoke with long pauses between each word or series of words, you would very
quickly lose your audience. However, the pause, carefully used, can be a very effec-
tive device for getting your message across.
A good speaker will pause briefly at the appropriate places to give their listeners
the opportunity to take in what they have said. They will also occasionally pause
before or after a word to give it emphasis, or before making a particularly important
point.

Tone
The inflection, or ‘up-and-down’ movement of your voice – tone also affects the way
in which your message is received. Variations in tone are often associated with pitch
and speed in giving interest and emphasis to your speech.
However, quite apart from the words you are saying, tone can betray your atti-
tudes and emotions. Your attitude to your listener or listeners and to your message
or subject is often indicated by the tone of voice you use.
Your tone can convey whether you are happy or angry or sad. You can sound
humble and frightened, or commanding and patronising. You can even make the
same word mean several different things by the tone you give it:

‘I’ve finished all those letters.’

‘Good.’
‘They’re being typed now and should go out this afternoon.’
The word ‘good’ could mean ‘I understand’ or ‘Well done – you’ve worked amaz-
ingly fast’ or ‘It’s about time too!’ depending on the tone of voice used.
It is easy to give the wrong impression by carelessly using the wrong tone and, of
course, it is easy to convey what you really think even when you don’t want to.
Just as tone is important in informal speaking, so it is an essential part of a talk
given in a formal situation. If you are speaking on a subject which is of no interest to
you, it is easy for the listeners to detect this in the tone of your voice. Of course, if you
are enthusiastic about it and pleased to be speaking on a particular subject, it is good
to let the audience recognise this. But negative, adverse feelings should be disguised.
If the subject really is a bore, then concentrate on doing a good job in spite of it, and
you will find the tone of your voice will work with you and not against you.
In other words, it is important to guard against letting your tone betray your
attitude and feelings unless you want it to do so.

Chapter 1 Speaking effectively 19

2.2 Qualities to aim for when speaking
● Alertness gives your listener the impression that you are aware of and interested
in what is happening around you and what you are saying. They are more likely
to feel it is worthwhile to listen to you.
● Pleasantness is partly being polite, but also striving to give a friendly tone to your
voice by smiling and looking pleasant.
● Distinctness is speaking clearly so that your listener can hear and understand
your words without straining. This includes pronunciation, of course. It requires
you to breathe properly, to move your lips, tongue and jaw freely and easily. It
also requires you to talk directly to the listener.
● Expressiveness is putting feeling into your voice. To be expressive, you must avoid
the low droning monotone which will turn off your listener. It is easier to be
expressive when you maintain good posture, and are interested in your subject
and concerned about your listener.

Summary – good speaking

Effective speaking is therefore the result of several things over which you do have
control. First, Personal Qualities – clarity, accuracy, empathy, sincerity, relaxation,
eye contact, appearance and posture which have a lot to do with what you say and
how you behave; and second, Vocal Qualities – the mechanics of speech, pitch, vol-
ume, diction and accent, vocal tension, speed, the use of the pause and tone, all of
which affect the way you use your voice.

Assignment: Choose a passage from a book or magazine article and read it aloud
(tape-recording if possible) four times: first concentrating on sounding alert,
then concentrating on sounding pleasant (smiling helps!), then concentrating
on sounding distinct, and finally, aiming for expression.
Now play back the four versions of the passage. Can you hear any difference
between them? Did you succeed in emphasising each of the four qualities?
Finally, read and record the passage again, aiming for all four qualities this
time.

Further reading
Bradbury, Andrew, Successful Presentation Skills, Kogan Page, 2000

20 Mastering Communication
 3 Listening

Speaker and Listener

We have all met them:

● the person who looks at you with glazed eyes, so intent on working out what
they’re going to say next that they hear nothing you say and cut you off in mid-sen-
tence to say something that bears very little relationship to what you have just
been saying;
● the manager who says: ‘Never hesitate to come and see me if you’ve got any prob-
lems,’ and when you do make an appointment to see them they spend all the time
talking about their own problems;
● the student who complains about every lecture, switches off after about the first
five minutes, barely stays awake and says everything is boring and a waste of time;
● the person next to you at the conference who, as the last speaker sits down, says:
‘Well that was pretty awful. The man didn’t know what he was talking about and
anyway I can’t stand people who wear their handkerchief in their top pocket!’

Perhaps you are one of those people!

So, how good at listening are you, and why is listening important anyway?

3.1 Listening – the neglected skill

We have already seen that in an attempt to meet the increasing demands of people
to be kept informed, and in an attempt to improve morale and productivity, there
has been a fever of activity in many organisations aimed at increasing the quality
and quantity of written communications. Yet we have also seen that merely sub-
jecting people to more and more information does not necessarily improve the
communication climate in organisations.
Much of this activity stems from two beliefs. First, to judge from the contents of
most training courses aimed at improving communication skills, the answer lies in
improving people’s ability to transmit information more effectively – to write more

Chapter 3 Listening 21
clearly and concisely and to speak with more confidence and sensitivity to their
audience; and yet those who study the way in which human beings communicate
have discovered that it is our ability to receive information which is just as much in
need of improvement.

Check-Points: How Well Do We Listen?

● Listening tests have shown that the average person can remember only 50 per
cent of what they have heard immediately afterwards, and only about
25 per cent two months afterwards.
● Worse still, one study has shown that only 10 per cent of the original message
remains after three days!

The second belief – very commonly though perhaps unconsciously held – that has
led to this concentration on producing more and more written and printed infor-
mation, is the belief that the higher up the ladder of success we go and the more we
find ourselves in positions of responsibility, the more our activities shift from lis-
tening and receiving messages to giving out and telling others what to do and even
how to do it. In fact, this is exactly the opposite of the observable fact.

Check-Points: How Much Do We Listen?

● One study which looked at how white-collar workers spent their day, by log-
ging them at intervals of fifteen minutes over a two-month period, discovered
that seven out of every ten minutes awake were spent in some form of com-
munication activity. It broke down like this:
9% writing
30% speaking } ⫽ 39% transmitting
16% reading
45% listening! } ⫽ 61% receiving
● If this statistic is correct, and there have been many other studies which sup-
port it, the average white-collar worker spends 45 per cent of all communicat-
ing time listening and about 31.5 per cent of all time awake listening.

It is listening, then, which in most organisations carries a large part of the com-
munication burden.
If we compare the rather alarming findings about the quality of our listening with
this tendency to rely more and more on oral methods for transmitting information
both in our social lives and at work, we can see that, far from being an unimportant
and automatic skill, it is perhaps the most important area in communication, and
desperately in need of some attention.

Were you taught to listen?

‘I do wish you’d listen!’ ‘Do you ever listen to anything I say?’ or just simply ‘Listen!’
probably sum up, for most of us, all the help and instruction we were ever given in
this very important skill.

22 Mastering Communication
 At school, you were probably taught to write, from the first day to the last; you
were taught to read and speak, at least up to a basic level of ability. Whether you
received any more instruction on reading and speaking once you could ‘do it’ prob-
ably depended on the particular school you went to, but most of us were left to our
own devices, perhaps refining our skills a little, more by luck than judgement.
As for listening, it seems to be assumed that as long as we don’t have a physical
hearing deficiency, we are automatically capable of listening from the day we are
born, and do not therefore need to be taught. Yet a few minutes’ thought will proba-
bly enable you to recall many instances when people you talk to, and you too (if you’re
honest), seem to go through the motions of listening but, in reality, are either think-
ing of other things or, more particularly, thinking of what they are going to say next.
Listening, therefore, seems to be sadly neglected, and is sometimes written off as
a merely passive skill, about which we can do very little. But it is crucial to good
communication, for as we have seen it is really the receiver – the listener – who
communicates, rather than the speaker.

Unless somebody listens to the message and understands it, there is no communi-
cation, only noise.

3.2 Reasons for improving listening

Effective listening produces many salutary results:
● Encouragement to others – when others note that you listen to them in a non-
threatening manner, they in turn lose some or all of their defensiveness and will
usually try to understand you better by listening more effectively to you; thus
your effective listening often results in making others good listeners.
● Possession of all the information – to solve problems and make decisions more
effectively, it is necessary to obtain as much relevant information as possible.
Good listening helps you to get as much information as the speaker possesses.
Your careful listening will usually motivate them to continue talking and to cite
as many facts as they can. When you have as much information as possible, you
are in a position to make accurate decisions.
● Improved relationships – effective listening usually improves relationships
between people. It gives the speaker the opportunity to get facts, ideas and hos-
tile feelings off their chest. You will understand them better as you listen; they
appreciate your interest in them; and friendship may therefore deepen.
● Resolution of problems – disagreements and problems can best be solved when
individuals listen carefully to each other. This does not mean that they must each
agree with the other’s point of view; they must merely show that they understand
the other person’s point of view. Everyone wants understanding, and there is no
better way of expressing this quality than through sensitive listening.
Listening may also help the other person to see their own problems more
clearly. Usually when any of us can talk through a problem, we can more easily
work out possible solutions.
● Better understanding of people – listening carefully to another person will give
you clues on how they think, what they feel is important and why they are saying

Chapter 3 Listening 23
 what they are saying. By understanding them better, you will be able to work
better with them, even if you do not particularly like them. Knowing that Jan is
an extrovert, that John is an introvert, or that Mike needs frequent praise, leads
to better understanding and thus harmony.

The good listener gains four things.

Check-Points: Benefits of Listening

● information
● understanding
● listening in return
● cooperation.

We all need to listen

Finally, then, listening is vital for students whose success depends on how well they
retain ideas, and for managers who must know what is taking place in many areas
if they are to make intelligent decisions and ensure the morale of staff. Sales staff
must listen to their customers. Parents must listen to their children. And there are
several professional areas where effective listening is the main stock-in-trade: psy-
chiatry, educational and marriage guidance, personnel interviewing. In medical
training, too, increasing emphasis is being placed on the skills of listening, since
patients are the main source of information on which their doctors base much of
their diagnosis.
This is not to say that we should all become full-time listeners, or that those who
tend to be very quiet, diffident people can afford to pat themselves on the back, for
as one writer commented:

A man who listens because he has nothing to say can hardly be a source of inspira-
tion. The only listening that counts is that of the talker who alternately absorbs and
expresses ideas.

How, then, can we train ourselves to really listen to what we hear? Or, perhaps,
you think you already do!

3.3 Are you a good listener?

Assignment: If you are interested in finding out how well you listen as a matter
of habit, answer the following questions. This ‘test’ is easy to ‘beat’, and if you are
happy to cheat, go ahead, but don’t be fooled by your answers. However, if you
are honest with yourself, you have a chance of estimating your listening ability.
Just answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

1 Do you place yourself in the room so that you are certain you can hear
clearly?
2 Do you listen for underlying feelings as well as facts?

24 Mastering Communication
 3 Do you take no notice of a speaker’s appearance and watch out only for the
ideas they are presenting?
4 Do you ‘pay attention’: do you look at the speaker as well as listen to what
they have to say?
5 Do you allow for your own prejudices and feelings as you evaluate what the
speaker has to say?
6 Do you keep your mind on the topic continuously and follow the train of
thought being presented?
7 Do you try consciously to work out the logic and rationality of what is being
said?
8 Do you restrain yourself (you do not interrupt or ‘stop listening’) when you
hear something you believe to be wrong?
9 In discussion, are you willing to let the other speaker have the last word?
10 Do you try to be sure that you are considering the other person’s point of view
before you comment, answer or disagree?

● If you answered all the questions with a definite ‘yes’, then you were not being
honest with yourself. You may like to believe that you do all those things, always,
or you may intend to do them, but – be honest! – listening as well as that is hard
work and none of us can keep it up all the time.
● If your score was around 5 then you were probably being honest and are pre-
pared to admit that even the 5 to which you answered ‘yes’ cannot be maintained
without frequent lapses when you forget to try. However, you obviously make
some attempt to remember that, despite what your real opinions are, everyone
is entitled to a reasonably fair hearing. Which ones did you answer ‘no’? What
does that signify about you as a person? Do you find it difficult to concentrate?
Can you only listen effectively when you like someone or agree with their views?
Do you tend to switch off if you don’t like their appearance, or at least tend to let
their appearance affect your assessment of their ideas?
● If you scored under 5 then you are either being disarmingly honest or falsely
modest, but you are in danger of being the sort of person you don’t like –
self-centred, only interested in your own ideas, narrow-minded and unwilling to
accept that other people’s views may be just as valid as your own, unprepared to
recognise your own prejudices and … well, just not very keen on making much
effort to listen to other people.

Assignment: Now, go back to those ‘listeners’ at the beginning of the chapter and
use your imagination about how they might have answered the questions or,
rather, since they may not be too honest, answer the questions on their behalf.

As you work to improve your listening performance, the preceding ten questions
should be your guides, for they include the most significant listening problems
which occur in personal and organisational communication.
However, here are some more practical suggestions which, if seriously practised
in organisations, might double or treble communication effectiveness, and help
you to become a more effective part of any organisation.

Chapter 3 Listening 25
3.4 Ten aids to good listening
Perhaps the simplest way of ensuring good listening is to concentrate. ‘Easier
said than done’, you might say; ‘but how does one concentrate?’ The guidelines
suggested here include ways of improving concentration.

Be prepared to listen – listening is not a passive skill but one that requires active hard
work. Communication is a two-way process and so we must share the responsibil-
ity for effectiveness with the speaker: try to think more about what the speaker is
trying to say than about what you want to say.
Being prepared also means getting into the right mental attitude – ready to main-
tain attention, increase awareness and elicit comprehension – and having the right
background knowledge to understand what is being communicated. This means
doing some homework for the meeting, the interview or the lecture, so that you
start off with a common frame of reference.

Be interested – ‘If they can’t make it interesting, they can’t expect me to listen!’ is a
comment frequently heard after lectures or speeches. Remember – the listener is
equally responsible. Look for ways in which the message might be relevant to you,
your job, your interests. Any message, any time, could be relevant. Ask questions
like: what is being said that I can use? How can I use this information to give
a better service, improve morale, be more efficient, learn something about myself
or other people?
And look interested – after all no one wants to speak to a ‘blank wall’. Put yourself
in the speaker’s shoes and imagine how you would feel.

Keep an open mind – being open-minded means being aware of your own prejudices
or you may ‘tune out’ those messages that don’t fit your bias. Don’t feel threatened,
insulted or resistant to messages that contradict your beliefs, attitudes, ideas and
values.
Being open-minded also means trying to ignore a speaker’s appearance and
manner of presentation. Just because you don’t like the look of them, don’t be put
off their ideas. If you know your own prejudices, you are more likely to control them
and take them into account.
Never jump too quickly to conclusions about the speaker’s personality, their main
message and your own response. You may be wrong and if you make up your mind
too soon, you may block out any chance of hearing the truth. In other words, delay
judgement.

Listen for the main ideas – poor listeners are inclined to listen for the facts only. Learn
to discriminate between fact and principle, idea and example, evidence and argu-
ment.
The ability to extract the main ideas depends on your ability to recognise the con-
ventional methods of structuring a message, transitional language and the speaker’s
use of repetition. The main points can come at the beginning, middle or end of a
message, so you must always be alert. If the speaker gives a preview or a summary,
listen especially carefully.

26 Mastering Communication
Listen critically – you should be critical, in an unbiased way, of the assumptions and
arguments the speaker is using, and weigh up carefully the value of the evidence
and the basis of the logic behind the main message.

Resist distractions – concentrating is only another way of saying ‘resist distractions’.

Attention is fluctuating and selective. Your own experience will tell you that it is very
easy to ‘switch off’. Of course the speaker has a very real responsibility to attract
attention and to keep it. But the best orator in the world can fail if the listener is not
prepared to make an effort.
The natural attention curve for most people is quite high, drops off as the mes-
sage continues and increases again at the end. You should try to combat this ten-
dency by making a special effort in the middle of the message and trying to keep it
constant.
Don’t be distracted by the speaker’s dress, appearance, vocabulary, style of pres-
entation, use of visual, oral and written aids. Above all, don’t let other people in the
audience distract you. They may not be good listeners; prove you are.

Take notes – if the message is essential to you, you will need to make an outline of
the speaker’s main ideas and particular examples which you might otherwise for-
get. But, remember that note-taking can be a distraction, so be flexible. It might
be better to listen attentively and then make notes after the speaker has finished.

Help the speaker – we have already noted that it helps the speaker if we try to look
interested, but in conversation there are other ways in which we can encourage the
speaker. These ‘listener responses’ are very brief comments or actions that the lis-
tener makes to the speaker, which convey the idea that you are interested and
attentive and wish him to continue. They are made quietly and briefly so as not to
interfere with the speaker’s train of thought – usually when the speaker pauses.
There are five types of listener response.

Self-Check

Can you think of typical ‘listener responses’ which convey your interest in the
speaker? Picture the last conversation you had. What did you do while you were
listening?

Check-Points: Listener Responses

● nodding the head slightly and waiting
● looking at the speaker attentively
● remarking ‘I see’, ‘Uh-huh’, ‘Really?’ etc.
● repeating back the last few words the speaker said (but be careful – if this
becomes a habit, it can be irritating)
● reflecting back to the speaker your understanding of what has just been said
(‘You feel that …’)

Chapter 3 Listening 27
How many did you get? The value of listener responses is that they provide
feedback to the speaker and tell them that you are still with them and want them
to continue.

Reflect back – the last of the listener responses mentioned. It is such an invaluable
tool for the good listener that it is worth a special mention.

Check-Points: Reflecting Phrases

If you don’t understand what has been said or you want the speaker to elaborate
on a point, try to introduce the thought with a reflecting phrase, such as:
● ‘you said’
● ‘you mentioned’
● ‘you suggested before’
● ‘you described’

After repeating the idea, follow with a question beginning with

● ‘who’
● ‘what’
● ‘where’
● ‘when’
● ‘why’
● ‘how’.

Reflecting phrases are designed to give you a second chance of receiving some-
thing you missed the first time round.

Reflecting back the speaker’s own ideas in this way has the added advantage of
showing the speaker that you are really listening to what they are saying. In addition
it allows you to check that you have really understood what the speaker meant to
say. Most of us are so intent on how we are reacting to the speaker’s words that we
don’t really listen to them. One psychologist was so aware of this problem that he
developed a game to delay argument and encourage people to really listen to one
another. He suggested that before people can make a point in a discussion, they
should first be able to summarise the last person’s contribution to that person’s sat-
isfaction. Try playing this game and see for yourself how very difficult it is not to
prepare mental arguments while the other person is talking, with the result that you
miss most of what is really being said.

Hold back – Perhaps the hardest thing about being a good listener is trying not to
interrupt. Even when there is a pause, it doesn’t always mean that the speaker has
finished, so be patient.

Listening is a process of self-denial

(A.C. Mumford)

28 Mastering Communication
 Exercise 3.1

1 What percentage of communicating time does the average white-collar

worker spend listening?
2 What proportion of the original message is remembered after three days,
according to one study?
3 List and explain the five ways by which we can show we are listening.
4 How can a listener resist distractions?
5 Now look back at the four ‘listeners’ at the beginning of the chapter. Which of
the aids to good listening would be particularly helpful for each one?

Summary – good listening

● Results of effective listening
1 Encouragement to others
2 Possession of all the information
3 Improved relationships
4 Resolution of problems
5 Better understanding of people
● Aids to good listening
1 Be prepared to listen
2 Be interested
3 Keep an open mind
4 Listen for the main ideas
5 Listen carefully
6 Resist distractions
7 Take notes
8 Help the speaker
9 Reflect back
10 Hold back

Assignment: For your next face-to-face listening situation, write down the ten
aids to good listening on a card and intentionally practise each and every one.
Try the same exercise on a televised party political broadcast, preferably that of
a party you would not normally support.

Assignment: Try the listening game. Have a discussion with a friend but institute
the rule:

Each person can speak only after they have first restated the ideas and feel-
ings of the previous speaker accurately and to that person’s satisfaction.

At the end of 20 minutes, discuss the difficulties of this method and the advan-
tages in terms of effective listening.

Chapter 3 Listening 29