PSYCHLINGO

EXPLORING ENGLISH THROUGH PSYCHOLOGY MARCH 2024

ISSUE NO. 4

What’s so Beneficial
About Reading to
Children?
Learning through Literature.

Nurture Assumption
What Makes Us the People We Are?

Thou Childhood Shalt

Be Beige!
The Phenomenon of "Beige" Parenting

Unmonitored
Internet Access
and its Effects on Children

Introjection
The Mechanism of (un)Fortunate SpongeBob
Impersonation

Sharenting and
Artificial Intelligence
The Problem of Digital Age Parenting

Parentification
When a Child Becomes a Parent

How do Children Learn

Language so Fast?
Genetic Rules of Speech

Interview
with a Special Needs Teacher

Sephora Kids and the

Red Pill
How Does Social Media Influence Young
Children?

Join us!
Read more on page 40
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 IN THIS Letter from the Editor 5
6
ISSUE
What’s so Beneficial About Reading to Children?
Learning through Literature.

Nurture Assumption
What Makes Us the People We Are?
7
Thou Childhood Shalt Be Beige!
The Phenomenon of "Beige" Parenting
10
Unmonitored Internet Access
and its Effects on Children
12
Introjection
The Mechanism of (un)Fortunate SpongeBob Impersonation
16
Sharenting and Artificial Intelligence
The problem of digital age parenting
18
Parentification
When a child becomes a parent
24
How do Children Learn Language so Fast?
Genetic Rules of Speech
27
Sephora Kids and the Red Pill
How Does Social Media Influence Young Children?
29
Interview
with a Special Needs Teacher
32
Lifestyle Corner
Dive into the fun and culture
35
Language exercises
Test yourself!
40
Glossary
All important vocabulary in one place
42
Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash

We extend our gratitude to the Rector of the Maria Grzegorzewska University, Professor Barbara
Marcinkowska for her support and contribution towards subsidising the printing of this magazine.

Our Staff
Editor-in-chief Article writers
Jan Wolicki Amelia Anielska-Mazur
Daria Fruń
Deputy Editors-in-chief
Gabriela Gawłowska
Martyna Lekan
Kazimierz Kwiatek
Editorial assistants Martyna Lekan
Amelia Anielska-Mazur Joanna Łukasiewicz
Joanna Łukasiewicz Julia Nowakowska
Julia Nowakowska Weronika Piebiak
Karolina Tomczak
Graphic and layout design Wiktoria Wiśniewska
Martyna Lekan
Jan Wolicki
Julia Nowakowska

Editorial and linguistic supervision

Anna Treger, MA and the Maria Grzegorzewska
University Professor Bronisław Treger, PhD

Cover photo: Allison Archer on Unsplash

Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash 3

 Pho sh
to b
y Tay s pla
lor H eery o n U n

Letter from the Editor

Dear Readers,
Welcome to the fourth issue of this magazine. This month, we touch on an important
issue, as always. But this one is of particular importance because it's where everything
begins – childhood. We explore the problems of raising children, including their
development and disturbances, the fast-developing technology and how it affects
them, and the difficulties of institutional education.
We will also take a closer look at the child's mind and how it works and then explain it
briefly. Additionally, we want to direct your attention to needs that have always been
there, like being a child and not a public domain or part of an advertisement
campaign, which sometimes happens to be the case.
Of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg of childhood development, with
fluctuations and educational, institutional, biological and ideological changes. It is
impossible to cover everything; there is too much of it. However, we hope to arouse
your curiosity and concern about our feature – the little ones.
I want to thank my mom, a special needs educator working in a kindergarten for
children with special needs, who saved this issue's interview at the last minute by
giving it when two people got sick just a few days before the interview. Lastly, I want
to thank the whole team for their hard work and effort.

Editor-in-Chief

5
 What's so Beneficial
About Reading to Children?
By Daria Fruń
Did you know that a child learns around ten new words Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
daily between the first and sixth years of life? As it is the
fastest time humans learn during their lives, it is
important to stimulate language development during that
time. We should allow the opportunity to be fully
exploited before it passes.

One of the best tools to do so is literature. Children can

greatly benefit from being read aloud to and from shared
book reading. This practice especially helps improve
children's emergent literacy ability, which consists of oral
speech, phonological awareness, knowledge of written
material, letter knowledge, and print awareness concepts.
Acquiring those skills leads to learning to read and write
and directly impacts children's later success in this field.

During shared book reading, children are especially able

to familiarise themselves with the shapes of letters and
print concepts – idea that symbols can be associated with
sounds and the process of reading a book itself (dividing
into chapters, page-turning, etc.). Reading aloud supports
the development of phonological awareness – the ability
to manipulate speech sounds and listening
comprehension. It may help improve children's
concentration, as understanding a story requires focusing
on it and remembering already gathered information.
Furthermore, people often pay less attention to using
correct grammar while speaking, and written language
tends to be stricter.

But reading is not just about language and learning.

Contact with literature has other great benefits. This
includes stimulating children's imagination and
creativity, as stories allow them to explore experiences
beyond their own. The same thing can also be
instrumental in supporting the development of empathy,
as children are presented with perspectives, behaviours
and decisions of characters that significantly differentiate
from their own and are crucial to the story's direction.
Moreover, reading to or with a child can be a wonderful
time to spend together.

Sources:
Duursma E., Augustyn M., Zuckerman B. Reading aloud to children: the evidence
Glossary
[Link]

emergent – just beginning to appear or develop

exploit – to take advantage of something in a way
that's not fair or ethical
literacy – knowing how to read and write

6
NURTURE
Assumption
By Kazimierz Kwiatek

Why do people behave the way they do? Why are they the
way they are? Is their behaviour determined by biology or
environmental factors? These questions may seem trivial,
but they are the core of many fields of study; finding the
right answers is crucial for psychotherapists and
psychiatrists, but also lawyers, teachers and – last but not
least – parents.

The question of whether people are influenced more by

natural traits or more by the social and cultural
environment is quite old. It was asked and answered in
the works of many philosophers. John Locke's idea of
tabula rasa proposes that humans are born with no innate
habits, talents, or traits, likening them to a blank slate.
On the other hand, René Descartes asserted the existence
of an inherent idea of God that is universal to all human
beings.

The problem took its modern shape somewhere around

the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries. Francis Galton –
a cousin of Charles Darwin – is often said to be the
author of the catchphrase "nature vs. nurture". He was
most likely inspired by William Shakespeare, who
probably got the idea from a British priest and
pedagogue, Richard Mulcaster.

Most of the time, the nurture theory was the preferred

one (Locke, for example, was harshly criticised for his
ideas). That was probably the derivative of the way of life;
since parents bring their children up, they are also
responsible for what kind of people children turn out.
However, the real father of the nurture assumption (the
idea that the upbringing of children is a decisive factor in
shaping their personality and character) is Sigmund
Freud. According to him, every psychological illness or
disorder can be traced back to one's childhood or
adolescence. Even though the behaviourists disagreed
with Freud on the vast majority of issues, they
perpetuated that idea.

In 1998, Judith Rich Harris published a book called "The

Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way
They Do." It featured a critical review of the dominating
theory based on a few key points. Harris challenged the
idea that adults' personalities are mainly influenced by
their upbringing.

Photo by Amy Humphries on Unsplash

7
 Photo by Nikola Radojcic on Unsplash

She claimed that studies which are supposed to show the When David was fourteen, his parents told him the truth
effect of the parental environment usually fail to control about his sex, and he decided on de-transition. Reimer
genetic factors. Imagine an aggressive child. The child went public with his story to discourage other scientists
may have learned aggressive and dominating behaviour from such unethical research. He committed suicide at
from parents, but it may also be an effect of the genes the the age of thirty-eight due to severe depression.
child and the parents share.
Harris not only highlighted the importance of genes in
In addition, studies of identical twins show that they personality development but also partially defied the role
share many traits; identical twins who live in the same parents supposedly play in it. Think of a family of
environment share up to 86% of personality traits, immigrants. The parents usually speak with a strong
whereas identical twins who live in different foreign accent, behave somewhat differently and
environments share up to 76% of them. In comparison, generally stand out from the crowd. On the other hand,
biological siblings reared together share 47% of traits, children seem to be well integrated into the local society;
and those reared separately – approximately 24%. they speak without an accent, they behave quite normally,
and one can hardly tell whether they are children of the
There is another, rather drastic, example of the
"natives" or the newcomers. Why is that? Harris wrote
importance of genes in human psychological
that it happens because the major role in the child's
development. David Reimer had been born a man, but he
development is played by the child's peers rather than the
lost his penis due to a botched circumcision operation.
parents.
David had a twin brother, Brian. Their case was found
The author also pointed out that it's a mistake to
interesting by an American psychologist, John Money,
associate the environment with nurturing, as nurturing is
who decided to persuade Reimers' parents to raise David
done by parents, and the environment is a much more
as a girl, as he believed that sex was malleable in the first
complex thing than just family.
two years of life and sought scientific proof for his theory.

8 Photo by Åsmund Gimre on Unsplash

 Photo by Amy Humphries on Unsplash

The book received mixed reviews. Some predicted that it

would become a turning point in psychology. Some,
however, criticised the book for overinterpreting some of
the data and accused Harris of being inconsistent in her
conclusions.
Despite the negative feedback, the book reached the final
round of the Pulitzer Prize for nonfiction and influenced
many modern psychologists.

Even though Harris made some good points and her

hypotheses are worth checking, she and other scientists
who decided to challenge the "nurture assumption" were
mostly misunderstood. Think of all the articles that say,
"American scientists discovered the aggression gene" or
"First speech gene identified" or "Two genes linked with
violent crime"; they are all wrong and absurd. Even
though the answer to the question of what makes us –
ourselves is still inconclusive. We have some knowledge
about the topic, we should think of human beings as the Photo by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash

canvas where the influences of both genes and the

environment interfere and create a unique person rather
than perceive it in terms of a fight for dominance between
those two.

Sources:
[Link]
[Link]
_r=3scp=3sq=socialization%2520of%2520childrenst=cseoref=slo
[Link]
[Link]
Judith Rich Harris' The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do'
[Link]
[Link]

Glossary
blank slate – a concept that people are born with no
innate characteristics or predispositions, and their
development is shaped by their environment and Photo by Henry Be on Unsplash
experiences
botched – messed up, badly done
defy – to openly resist or refuse to obey
de-transition – the process of reverting to one's
original gender identity
inherent – existing as an essential characteristic or
quality within someone or something
malleable – adaptable or easily influenced
nature vs. nurture – the age-old debate that
considers the impact of genetics (nature) versus
environmental factors (nurture) on human behaviour
and traits
rear – to bring up and care for (a child)

9
 By Gabriela Gawłowska

THOU CHILDHOOD
SHALT BE BEIGE!
THE PHENOMENON OF "BEIGE" PARENTING
In the sea of never-ending social media content, filled with and primary colours used to catch attention. With humour,
eye-catching images and displaying different aesthetics, she dubbed this move a "sad beige" aesthetic, highlighting
aoparticular trend among mothers has emerged not so long how melancholic and bland children in those pictures look
ago. Filled with different shades of beige, children dress in like.
linen or cashmere clothes of the same colour and play with
So what exactly is "beige" parenting then? "Beige" parenting
wooden toys. These women have decided to share their
is when a mother who enjoys a beige aesthetic lifestyle pours
perspectives on raising children in a very different
it onto the lives of her children. It includes painting their
environment than we've grown to know. But is it a good
rooms in creme and generally toned-down colours,
change?
exchanging plastic toys for those made out of wood or other
Tracing back to when this trend was given a name, many natural materials and doing the same with their clothes.
people point at Hayley DeRoche – a writer, social media Some mothers even go as far as pouring their children's
content creator and a mother of two. Known on TikTok as shampoos and cosmetics into aesthetic-looking containers or
That Sad Beige Lady, she was the one to point out how painting children's toys to match the overall aesthetics. But it
nowadays marketing for children's essentials seems to focus is worth keeping in mind that those are extreme cases, and it
more on cream-coloured palettes instead of the usual vibrant doesn't mean every mother does that.

aige Cody on Un
byP sp
to la
ho s
P

10
This move raised many concerns from mothers all around
the world. Many claims began to appear from different
sources, but the most concerning was how it can be harmful
to children by stalling their development. However, in
September 2022, the Wall Street Journal pointed out that
there was no proof supporting those claims. Thus, it comes
down to parents' preferences.

Despite this, Dr Sally Augustin, an environmental design

psychologist, stated her opinion during the interview for the
article titled: "What is 'sad beige,' and why do some parents
love it so much?" for [Link] that:

children need primary colours in their

lives to produce "higher generated
energy levels" required for things like
exercising, for example
Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash

On the other hand, "beige moms" and some parents not

belonging to this particular group don't seem to see harm in
a child's exposure to this type of decor preference. This party
focuses on the fact that toned-down colours can have
[Link] effect not only on children but also on the rest of
the household. Additionally, it promotes eco-consumption,
it's genderless, and materials are safer for children.

Dr Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, a psychologist and professor

at the University of Delaware, also spoke about this subject in
the same article as Dr Sally Augustin, giving her opposing
view by saying:

"This is not a trend that I can

endorse, but it's not a trend that
would be harmful to children."
This recent trend paints parenting in beige and still leaves so Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash
much uncharted waters to explore in the future. As calming
as the colour is, it certainly brought some controversy among
the people, who are ready to throw in their own few cents. Is
there a right or wrong side to stand on? Ultimately, it all
Glossary
comes down to parents knowing boundaries and not crossing boundary – the limit of what is acceptable
them. dub – to give an unofficial name or nickname to someone
or something
endorse – to declare one's public approval or support of
something
essentials – necessary personal belongings, such as
toiletries or clothing items
exposure – the state of being exposed to, e.g. risk or harm
Sources: genderless – not conforming to traditional gender roles
[Link] or distinctions
IR=T
[Link] stall – to stop making progress, typically due to a lack of
[Link] movement or activity
[Link]
[Link] uncharted waters – a situation or area that is unfamiliar
innocent-joke
[Link]
[Link]

11
 Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Unmonitored
Internet Access
and its Effects on Children
By Amelia Anielska-Mazur

The Internet is an incredible tool of our current Internet spaces, children easily notice trends and
reality. Worldwide availability is quite literally at our terms exclusive to online user bases, including
collective fingertips, anytime, all the time. It provides Internet slang. I would like to discuss one instance,
us with such a wonderful variety of uses! Whether you which is the phenomenon of "cringe culture".
need a quick way to access a paper for reference in
your work, check the weather, or simply shoot the
breeze and relax a little by entertaining yourself is one
Cringe – by Cambridge Dictionary's
of the many ways you can do so, thanks to the World
definition – is a state of embarrassment
Wide Web! Or one would think so. about something.
Reality is harsh when you peer through the visage of
greatness that envelops the Internet. Unfortunately,
not enough people acknowledge that side of it, and
most tragically, plenty of them are parents. In this Cringe culture, however, is an online phenomenon of
article, I would like to shed some light on how stigmatising certain things (whether it is a behaviour,
exposure to unrestricted Internet usage affects interest and so on) and considering them to be
children – strongly based on my personal observations embarrassing to indulge in. Some of those things may be
and experiences, as well as research on the topic. perceived as childish and, therefore, "cringe".

Social media, "cringe culture", parasocial

behaviours

It is hard to deny that most Internet traction focuses

on social platforms. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and
TikTok dominate the scene. While most of them
mainly target an adult audience, children under the
age of 13 – who are below the minimum age
requirement for most platforms – are active users.

Their activity varies from simple viewership to

engaging in various communities, sharing posts and
interacting with other users. By being active in
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
12 Internet
 Photo by Barbara Jackson on Pixabay
An example of this is taking an interest in media targeted
towards children, having a hobby which is not deemed
"cool" by the masses, simply enjoying a trend, or
something as simple as being considered "basic" (a term
describing a person who lacks interest or appeal because
they do not stand out based on their hobbies, appearance,
etc.).

Truth be told, there could be a separate article written

about the logistics behind cringe culture, but I digress.
Once children are aware of this phenomenon, they
actively modify their behaviour and interests, fearing to
be perceived as "cringy". That leads to them abandoning
things meant for their age to appear cooler or more adult-
like. This, unfortunately, results in children consuming
content that is not meant for them – in the worst-case
scenario, one that might ultimately be harmful.

In the case of minors being a part of an active user base,

especially one that is centred around a content creator –
that being a person creating some sort of media which
they share with an audience – they might form an
unhealthy, parasocial relationship with their idol. While
parasocial relationships are not exclusive to well-known Exposure to sensitive and pornographic content,
people, they most commonly happen with such exploitation, grooming
personalities. A parasocial relationship is a bond involving Regretfully, unmoderated content, including that on
a person and someone they do not know personally. popular social media platforms, exists across the Internet.
Alchild is prone to developing deep emotional bonds with The most common type of sensitive media is shared for
things and people who bring them comfort, thus making shock value for the unknowing viewer. That includes, but
this a common occurrence in online spaces. It is is not limited to, content containing gore, graphic
important for a guardian to discuss online personalities, violence, terrorism, explicit footage released by soldiers
such as content creators, with children and explain how partaking in gruesome behaviour towards hostages and
to maintain a healthy distance between them as a persona more. The last example is notorious for a website known
and the child as a viewer. as "LiveLeak" founded in 2007. "LiveLeak" hosted real
political, war and citizen journalism footage. The
website's purpose has been severely abused throughout
the years of its functioning, earning it a notorious
reputation as one of the most well-known gore sites on
the surface web (a portion of the Internet we use in our
day-to-day lives), ultimately leading to its shutdown in
2021. Being exposed to triggering sights as depictions of
real-life violence impacts children's mental development,
increasing their chances of becoming desensitised to real-
life tragedy.

Pornography is yet another type of media that minors risk

encountering online. In recent years, the over-
sexualisation of internet content has been on the rise.
While this content may be accessed through specific
websites, it also finds its way to platforms where it is
prohibited as well. It is not that uncommon for a child to
encounter pornography for the first time by being
exposed to it by a friend their age, whom they trust.
Altrusted adult should discuss what content is not safe for
the child to witness online. When hearing about media
that is not meant for their age from a peer, a child should
be assertive enough to refuse the content and notify
Photo by Adrian Swancar on Unsplash trusted adults on the matter.
13
 Grooming consists of befriending a minor and gaining
their trust, intending to abuse the dynamic between the
perpetrator and the abused. It can come in the form of
requesting pictures, recordings, and even planning to
meet up with the victim's child; all of this usually involves
sexual content or is intended for sexual satisfaction.
Ajpredator can try to talk with the child about their
personal life and try to show that they are trustworthy
adults. They will gradually start bringing up sexual topics,
influencing the child's perceptions and behaviours. By
doing so, they desensitise a child to sexual content,
making any attempts at sexual misconduct easier for the
perpetrator. Grooming is a tactic used by predators both
online and offline. It is a crime and should be taken
seriously in all regards.

When a situation of that nature arises, the minor should

immediately notify their trusted adults about it; legal
action should be taken in any case of sexual exploitation
of a child. Educating kids about Internet safety and what
behaviours to watch out for ensures the detection of
criminal behaviour and prevents the situation from
escalating further.

Oversharing of personal information, Internet

safety

In the early days of the Internet, information about cyber

security and safe Internet use was everywhere – websites,
PSAs (Public Service Announcements – a form of
spreading awareness about a certain topic), and lessons
dedicated to safety on the information superhighway. For
our Polish readers, some of you might remember an early
2000s Internet safety programme – "Sieciaki". They were
promoting safe and responsible Internet usage among
children.

One of the most talked about matters was, "Do not share
information about yourself with strangers". Rightfully so!
Anyone, let alone a child, should never give away their
personal information to an unfamiliar Internet user. All
information can be used against you, whether it's for
blackmail or identity tracking. In the era of online
personalities, people more often steer towards using their
Photo by Andras Vas on Unsplash full names on social media. They also share a plethora of
information about themselves and their personal life.
Sexual exploitation is a hard yet crucial topic to discuss.
While that is their own decision, a child should never,
Online anonymity allows ajplethora of deviants to target
under any circumstances, share their personal
others on various platforms, most commonly on social
information online.
media. Children may be easy to target by their
demeanour, making them one of the most susceptible
groups to manipulation and exploitation. Exploitation
happens when a person takes advantage of someone in
almore vulnerable position than them, using the fact that
they are in a better power position than the other party.
Exploitation can happen in many ways, sexual
exploitation being one of them. A child can be sexually
taken advantage of online by an adult conducting
a”strategy called grooming.
Photo by Dixit Dhinakaran on Unsplash
14
 Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

What about spaces for children? especially when with strangers. While all of that is true,
the key action, besides proper moderation and
The early 2000s – something I can vouch for – provided
monitoring your kid's activity, is educating them.
children with an overflow of websites with simple
Adequate knowledge about the dangers of the Internet
entertainment – web browser games. Names like "Cool
and the situations in which they should say "no" to peers
Math Games", "Club Penguin", "Neopets", and more are
should be the starting point for all children on the
cult classics for English-speaking Internet users. "[Link]"
Internet.
and "Friv" or games on the portal "Nowa Klasa" are much
Additionally, speak out on the importance of safe spaces
more recognisable in the Polish communities. Most of
for children online! Do not forget that the Internet gives
these Internet sites hosted "Flash games" – deriving their
kids the potential for self-expression, indulging in their
name from Adobe Flash Player's plugin, which were
creativity and developing skills such as critical thinking.
ajfundamental part of children's Internet usage. In
January 2021, Adobe officially stopped supporting the Children are and always will be the future; let us educate
plugin, leaving many of these childhood relics behind. and aid them!

The truth is children nowadays do not have spaces

dedicated to them. There are no websites that allow
children to interact with one another in a safe, moderated Glossary
environment. Social media platforms dominate the
bond – a strong connection or relationship between
Internet. That is the root of the problem. Kids are
people
exposed solely to social media, bombarded with trends, desensitise – to make someone less sensitive or
consumerism, and daily short-form content. Instead of emotionally responsive to something, often through
engaging in fun platforms tailored to their entertainment repeated exposure
needs, their brains are being essentially fried by the fast- explicit – clearly stated or shown
paced, adult-targeting content. As a result, they become gore – graphic and bloody violence or content
gruesome – extremely unpleasant or horrifying
users in a sea of strangers, surrounded by sensitive media
indulge in – to allow oneself to enjoy something,
that will impact their psychological growth. Kids may
often considered luxurious or pleasurable
become isolated and depressed because of the time they Internet traction – a level of attention, interest, or
spend online, choosing the Internet over quality time popularity that something gains on the internet
with their peers and family. This may affect their need for notorious – widely known, usually for something
socialisation and stimulation from the outside world. negative
parasocial – relating to a one-sided relationship,
typically between a viewer or fan and a media
As adults, we must speak up about the state of the
personality
Internet that is available to children. They deserve spaces plethora – a large amount of something.
made for them where they can utilise the possibilities the quality time – dedicated and meaningful time spent
Internet can provide them with for their development. with someone
Nowadays, the Internet is just as convenient as it is shoot the breeze – to chat casually or have a relaxed
dangerous. It is easy to forget how crucial it is to monitor conversation
children's access to this tool. They risk developing stigmatise – to unfairly label or mark someone or
something as shameful or undesirable
unhealthy online and offline relationships and being
exposed to inappropriate or even dangerous content,
onversing
15
 INTROJECTION
The Mechanism of (un)Fortunate SpongeBob Impersonation

By Joanna Łukasiewicz
Last year, the winter did not rebel against the rules of
reality. It brought the darkness surrounding the
university during my last Thursday lecture. The
symbiosis between my professor and Mr. Freud was
knocking on the doors of perception – my perception.
Fortunately, I managed to let them in and learn about
defence mechanisms. One of them, introjection, was
particularly memorable and reminded me of a book
Iireviewed in this issue. Today, I invite you to learn about
introjection – the curious mechanism reminding me of
books, sponges and a quote from a minister of
propaganda for the German Third Reich.

Sigmund Freud came up with the idea of the defence

mechanisms in the 19th century. His daughter, Anna
Freud, continued his work and increased their number by
ten, including the introjection. During an introjection,
you adopt the behaviours and beliefs (feelings, ideas, etc.)
of another person, who is usually an authority figure to
you, without realising it.¹ This unawareness of a person
makes me think of a sponge – it mindlessly absorbs the
liquid.

Now that we know what introjection is, the time has come
to extend our definition to include key elements of
Sigmund Freud's theory. You might wonder what you
would defend yourself from something like this. The
answer is anxiety. One of the reasons you feel anxious is
the constant conflicts between the parts of your mind
representing different needs. The id, ego and superego
constantly argue inside you, willing to become a
primadonna.²

16 Photo by Valeriia Neganova on Unsplash

 Photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash

The id is the wild one! You can associate this structure

with all your memories of severely drunk people you've
"A lie told once remains a lie, but a lie told
seen when returning from... the study session in the
a thousand times becomes the truth"
– Joseph Goebbels
library on the weekend. The id is always willing to get
involved in sexual activity or use violence against Allan learned that the best option for him would be to
somebody. Its priority is to feel the pleasure as soon as stay alone. Introjecting his mother's voice helped him
possible. The superego is the one that focuses on with his parent's emotional neglect but kept him from
ensuring that you behave in compliance with societal following his dreams and getting involved in deep
norms and moral standards.³ The superego can be relationships.⁵ Fortunately, the therapy helped him.
associated with a gossip girl – always willing to point Even though he did not eliminate that voice completely,
out any flaw of yours to the extent that you're afraid to he learned how to live his life despite hearing it.
breathe too loud around her. The poor ego does its best
to balance the demands of the id, superego, and reality.⁴ Although introjection helps us deal with an excessive
The id and superego are the extremities that are unable amount of anxiety, it can also cause us to adopt
to acknowledge the reality surrounding them without aubehaviour that is harmful to us or even to others.
this hard-working part of you. Fortunately, one is not sentenced to spend their whole
life unable to enjoy it. I encourage you to consider
The story of Allan is a great example of introjection. whether or not you have introjected some of the beliefs
During therapy, he wanted to learn how to talk to other or behaviors of the people that were important to you. If
people. On the hiking trips, he was able to be a part of yes, what are the results?
the group during activities like cleaning, etc., but he Feel free to share your experience in an email to
avoided getting involved in conversation with others. psychlingo@[Link]
He felt stuck when he wanted to talk about himself.
Turns out, he introjected his mother's criticism. She did
not provide a safe space for him to express his feelings
during his childhood. She believed he was a naughty Glossary
and incorrigible child, even though he was a kid who
authority figure – a person who is seen as having power,
caused an average amount of trouble.
influence, or control, such as a parent, teacher, or boss
defence mechanism – ways people unconsciously protect
themselves from uncomfortable feelings or situations
Sources:
flaw – imperfection
[1] Penco, D. (2022). OVERALL OVERVIEV OF DEFENSE MECHANISMS [Bachelor dissertation,
Selinus University]. [Link] in compliance with – following rules, regulations, or
[2] Bailey, R., & Pico, J. (2023, May 22). Defense mechanisms. StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf.
standards
[Link]
[3] Penco, D. (2022). OVERALL OVERVIEV OF DEFENSE MECHANISMS [Bachelor dissertation, incorrigible – incapable of being corrected or improved
Selinus University]. [Link]
introject – to internalise or take in the ideas, beliefs, or
[4] Kokoszka, A. (2015). Nasza psychika. In Psychoanalityczne ABC (pp. 25–26).
[5] Erskine, R. G. (2022, January 8). My Mother’s Voice: Psychotherapy of Introjection: Part 5 of a 5- attitudes of others, usually without conscious awareness
Part case study of the psychotherapy of the Schizoid Process. Erskine | International Journal of
Integrative Psychotherapy. [Link]

17
 Sharenting and
Artificial Intelligence
THE PROBLEM OF DIGITAL AGE PARENTING AND HOW TECHNOLOGY
CAN RUIN MODERN FAMILIES IN CONSEQUENCE.

By Martyna Lekan Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

With the digital age came the Internet, the incredibly of missing out on things that are currently trendy and
versatile tool nobody knew was going to take over the considered cool, aesthetically pleasing, or beautiful (when
world. Almost every single aspect of our lives is already it comes to beauty standards) have infiltrated parenting
connected to the Internet or is going to be in a span of as we know it, elevating it to an entirely new level beyond
ajfew years. From contactless and online payments, recognition.
digitalised bureaucracy, many companies having
employees work remotely, streaming services to
interpersonal interactions slowly moving into social What is this sharenting, again?
media, almost completely phasing out other forms of Sharenting is a fairly new term used to describe
communication. Even family time is now transferred into a very specific phenomenon regarding parents
the online universe – nowadays, the world is "supposed" who choose to show excessively and often
to know every detail of its existence. Even things, monetise their children online. It's mostly
Ijguarantee, you have never anticipated to see online. common among popular Internet personalities
who start their families and recognise that they
The phenomenon I just mentioned has been caressingly not only create a new life but also a new
called sharenting, derived from the words sharing and influencer, someone who they don't have to pay
parenting, which accurately represents what is at the core to star in their videos but will surely make them
of the issue. With vlog (video blog) culture becoming more clickable.
immensely popular over the past dozen or so years, the
urge to casually show the daily aspects of our lives has
raised so significantly that even ordinary people with To help you understand it more, imagine this: you are
little to no social media following now regularly share just a 3-year-old child of, just so happened, a couple of
their experiences with others online. It almost became successful influencers. Like every baby in existence, you
[Link] of who will appear to have the most exciting and have your needs. You cry, eat, digest, have temper
desirable life in comparison to other "marathoners". This tantrums, play, make a mess, and do all the completely
need to stand out, .desire to be .recognisable, and the fear normal things for your age. Your parents decide to record
-
18
all the moments of your united journey, create a sort of
diary, and take the opportunity to show it to the Internet
regardless of what it consists of because they know people
love family content. It's ALL out there: the happiest and
cutest, but also the most distressing, embarrassing,
vulnerable scenes of your life are now streamed and
available for everyone who wishes to see them. You may
not realise this just yet, but this will possibly have dire
consequences on your future mental health and safety.
You don't understand yet what it means to be popular, to
be recognised on the streets, to have people know
everything about you while you don't know them at all.
Well, even if you did realise all that, what were you
supposed to do? You're just a child who has no power
over your parents, who own the rights to your image as
well as every other matter regarding you. You and your
privacy are supposed to be protected, but instead, not
necessarily with bad intent. You're used for views and
monetisation of content revolving solely around you, and
you have no say in it whatsoever.

That seems absolutely terrifying if you look into it deeply.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
And it all often starts even before the birth of the "main
character". Countless videos of pregnancy
announcements, gender reveals, baby showers, entire existence of their kids but show them here and
decorating nurseries, all the way to the birth itself. Not there in videos that regard some unrelated matters, put
exaggerating, many women filmed and published their them on thumbnails and in titles, so the video seems way
birth stories and footage online, sometimes with more appealing and generates tons of views. Based on
thorough details. This means that some kids start their that viewership, creators get paid from the YouTube ad
Internet career before they even get to experience their revenue system and frequently accept brand deals from
first breath. And indeed, birth experiences are important companies producing baby clothes, toys, carriers,
to share and hear. It's valuable knowledge I am not furniture, etc., which are included whenever possible.
opposed to. Obviously, new parents are excited to welcome a new
addition to their family, and there's absolutely nothing
wrong with that. It's difficult to value whether or not any
With article limitations, although it's surely of these practices are concerning, as it seems to be quite
deserving of a whole book about it, let's dissect ajgrey area. Certainly, many people have mixed feelings
this issue into smaller bits because it's too about children being included in these ads and often very
important and not talked about enough to only reasonably when they are almost treated like free actors
rush through it briefly. ready to promote one product after another.

Other times, it gets quite overwhelming, and children are

As a Polish saying goes, "If you don't understand literally portrayed as cartoonish characters who not only
what something is about, it's about money." play a leading role on those channels but also very
effectively advertise every toy under the sun to millions of
When influencers are asked why they even show their
other kids.
children in the first place, they often reply that they wish
to create that sort of video diary I mentioned earlier for
their offspring to have and be able to look back on in the
future. While this may be true most of the time, when you
actually take a closer look at their social media accounts,
you can very clearly tell that this is not only about
TheŸe aŸe |aÖ ÊeŸÖ œ‹œ¸saŸ œaŸe²©, h‹ÏeÊeŸ, Ïh‹ decide
memories. A great portion of their content includes paid
²‹ ©h‹Ï ²heiŸ chisdŸe ‹ ²heiŸ ‹Ï ²eŸ|© bef‹Ÿe ‹²heŸ
partnerships, even when it's just a photo of them holding
œe‹œse d‹, e©œeciassÖ faa²ic fa©, Ïh‹ |aÖ œ‹©©ibsÖ s¸Ÿp
a baby, and the promoted product is very difficult to spot
aŸ‹¸d ²heiŸ h‹|e© ad ©ch‹‹s© j¸©² ²‹ fid ‹¸² h‹Ï ²heiŸ
immediately. So sometimes it's a little bit more on the
pid© s‹‹p, Ïha² ²heiŸ a|e© aŸe, e²c.
subtle side of how parents monetise their children or the
fact of being a parent. They may not necessarily vlog the
df
19
 This may sound absurd, but the fourth-highest-earning
creator on YouTube in 2023 was a child-led channel –
Ryan's World. The face of the brand is 12-year-old Ryan
Kaji, while his parents manage the channel behind the
scenes. Most of the videos include the boy showcasing his
new toys, playing with them, play-pretending, and doing
sports or science experiments. All of this is obviously
catered to other kids, generating hundreds of thousands
of views, especially with YouTube Kids available
nowadays and the unhealthy amount of unmonitored
screen time parents allow their offspring. His account's On the other hand, there are unquestionably simply
net worth is estimated to approx. 100 MILLION dollars. harmful ways parents approach their offspring. One
What's interesting, running shortly after with 90 million mother with a successful family-focused channel
dollars, is Vlad and Niki, another child channel whose recorded and uploaded a video announcing their family
main stars are two brothers with content similar to Ryan. dog passed away and showing her children mourning to
This phenomenon sparks a lot of discussion about her 500,000 subscribers. The disturbing part was when
whether it's even ethical to, at least to some extent, use she aimed the camera at her crying son and, with
your children for money in this nuanced way. Because we complete seriousness, said, "Act like you're crying, make
need to understand that young kids not only can't decide a face like this," then proceeded to demonstrate an
for themselves but also don't understand what they exaggerated expression, to which the child replied:
actually partake in. Child labour is cruel and highly "Mom, I'm actually crying." She kept ignoring him and
prohibited in most countries. Many argue that what posing for the video thumbnail instead of comforting her
parents of those child stars do also falls under that own child in such great distress after his first loss. This
umbrella, although not to the same extreme as hiring absurd behaviour didn't go unnoticed, and soon after,
children in factories. people fired at her. Later on, she actually admitted her
fault and said she deleted her whole channel, losing all
the monetisation, and got her and her son into
counselling. Still, the scarring such prolonged treatment
could leave on this boy's mental health is only to be
imagined.

There are many sad and terrifying stories like this. Still, I
want to share this one more particular example to paint
the picture of how money-driven individuals who
probably also struggle with mental health may hurt
innocent children for content and views. A mother of six
who gave online parenting advice via a popular YouTube
channel, whose name is easy to find but I won't share it,
verbally and physically abused her children on camera
and willingly posted it on YouTube. Footage included her
denying those kids food as a consequence of their
allegedly bad behaviour, forcing them to clean floors,
sleep off beds, denying them school access, and much
more other unsettling treatment. It kept happening and
gaining popularity, for some inexplicable reason, until
one day, one of the boys escaped, ran to their neighbours'
house in a malnourished state, and begged for help to be
freed from his abusive mother. Only then did the police
step in, and the woman was arrested, subsequently losing
her parental rights. The channel has been deleted, the
woman pleaded guilty to second-degree aggravated child
abuse and was recently sentenced to four prison terms of
between one and 15 years each. When police came to
their doors, her oldest daughter posted a now-deleted
Photo by Vanilla Bear Films on Unsplash picture on her Instagram with the caption, "Finally."
20
It's more common than you think

The problem we face now is way broader than expected

because the publication of children's images doesn't only
apply to popular and rich parents – ordinary people do it,
too. You've probably already seen pictures of your cousins
on your aunt's Facebook profile, maybe your friends
spam your timeline with loads of baby photos, or even
you posted pictures with your siblings, children, or other
family members, not thinking of it twice. It's not
ajcoincidence.

According to a report commissioned by Clue PR, 40% of

Polish parents share content starring their own offspring
online. On average, it accounts for 72 photos and 24
videos annually. The even more worrying part is that not
many of them, maybe you included, realise they might
own a public profile that everyone can access. Maybe it
seems completely harmless – just some pictures on
Photo by Kelly Sikkema
someone's random page, right? Who would consider this on Unsplash

information valuable or misuse it? Paedophiles do,

scammers do, and anyone possibly could.

It doesn't mean you should lock up in an isolated house

with no internet connection and, under no circumstances,
ever show yourself and your loved ones online. However,
being mindful and aware of your internet presence and
the footprint you permanently leave is essential for your
safety and those around you.

Is it even legal?

The short and disappointing answer is "yes". At least for

now, while the legislative world is still crawling in the
Internet reality. Many countries hand over the rights to
children's image to their respective guardians, which
seems logical at first. However, in our case, it only leaves
Photo by KAL VI
SUALS on Unsp
room for the abuse of these laws and potentially even the lash
exploitation of those children. Parents don't question it
either, and an astounding 57% declare that if the parents
decide on the child's privacy, there's nothing wrong if
they post those pictures themselves. Of course, legally
Photo by Caleb
speaking, they have every right to do so, but just because on Unsplash
Woods
you have that right, does it make it right?

Consequences of online upbringing

Most adults are not able to healthily handle fame and

everything that comes with it. It's even difficult to
comprehend that thousands and millions of people watch
your every move and know who you are. We can only
imagine how bizarre this concept is to a child who
probably still believes in Santa Claus. Personally, I don't
even have any idea how I would begin to explain to aj5-
year-old that such enormous numbers of strangers know
not only their name, which would probably already blow
their mind, but also very private and fragile details about
their life. We also sometimes forget that children
eventually grow up and become more and more aware of
-
21
 the world and its principles. They may eventually decide tell you. The Internet is not a safe playground anymore
they do not agree to be publicly shown and do not wish to where all your actions could escape consequences
participate in their parents' channels. What then? What because "It's only Internet, not real life", and nothing is
has been done cannot be undone. The digital footprint so serious here. I believe it's better to learn from others’
has already been left permanently. Once something mistakes, and the sooner we realise that this has already
enters the Internet, it never leaves it again, and young become a huge part of today's world and it's not possible
minds like to dig, gossip, and, unfortunately, bully, to separate from it anymore, the more aware and
especially pushed by peer pressure. subsequently safe we can be navigating this new reality.
However, the upsetting part is that you may still, maybe
Imagine your whole school having seen your almost fully
with lower risk, become a victim of such a scam even if
naked bath photos, your first poop, or how you cried
you have never participated in the hardcore sharenting
before the doctor's appointment. Those are real examples
yourself.
I have seen myself. It's uncomfortable enough to even
think about this, but that is the reality of the children that While saying all this, I don't mean to demonise Artificial
some parents now actively create for them. And they have Intelligence. After all, it's just a tool. It is an excellent,
little to no say in it. state-of-the-art tool with limitless possibilities and
completely revolutionary for many fields, which,
Artificial Intelligence: a double-edged sword unfortunately, is being used with malicious intent, by the
wrong hands.
It may be a bit confusing why AI has its own passage in
this whole story, but this topic is unbelievably important
to discuss and spread awareness about. There are ways to protect yourself and your family to
minimise the risk of getting involved in such precise fraud:
Limitations of artificial intelligence will soon be reduced
only to the imagination of its users. And believe me, some
scammers are incredibly creative in their ways. By now,
Create a password. Find a word simple enough for every
you have probably heard about some grandparents falling
family member to remember in stressful situations but
for the "by grandchild" fraud scheme. Most of the time, it niche enough for strangers to be impossible to guess.
is a real person pretending to be a relative in need of a Under any circumstances, DO NOT disclose this
quick cash infusion. Now, the rules have changed. They password to anyone outside your closest family. When
no longer need to enact anything, AI does this for them. an emergency happens, you can ask for the password
The newest technology (let's remember it's constantly and and make sure it is the real person. Many banks and
companies use this strategy to verify their client's
rapidly developing) allows for generating whole speech
identity.
prompts based on very small samples of a person's voice;
a few photos are enough to teach the program and create
a video of any human in any desired scenario. It's safe to Hang up and call again. It is possible to overwrite your
number to show up as any given one, such as your
say that we currently witness the beginning of the sci-fi
mother, child, bank consultant, or internet service
nightmare that many futuristic writers pondered about provider. It is often advised even by those companies to
for decades. There have already been instances when just simply hang up. Find the correct, trusted number
many women who have never shown their bodies online and call again to make sure you know who you are
are being depicted in a sexual manner and posted for the talking to.
world to see. Families are getting calls from their
supposed loved ones, hearing their voices as clear as day, Moderate your Internet presence if that's possible.
trembling in stress and fear, and begging for help, usually Especially protect the privacy of those you are
monetary, sometimes even appearing as their real responsible for. Don't spam your child's pictures on
number, while it's the AI text-to-speech generator they social media, don't post videos of every word they say
and everything they do. Cherishing those achievements
communicate with.
in the safety of your home, where you can invite only
Sharenting is essentially hand-feeding the Internet with trusted individuals, is always the best option.
enormous amounts of content, including your and your
child's voice in various tones, emotions, and volumes, as If you are unsure of something or someone's credibility,
well as your body and face in all imaginable angles. By ask your trusted ones for help. If you are the younger,
doing this, we are giving up the child's right to privacy more digitally fluent person, educate your family, have
alserious talk with them, and remind them not to trust
and exposing them to dangerous AI-based attacks,
everything they see. It may be very difficult for older
identity theft, and potentially compromising your safety
generations to comprehend that their own eyes fail them
as well. Someone may utilise it to extract your children's and that what they see is only a fraud. Have compassion,
voice that is present in these *publicly uploaded* videos patience, and care for them so they don't become victims
and use it to vocalise any message they wish your child to of such crimes.
-
22
 Photo by Maik Jonietz on Unsplash

Glossary
baby shower – a party thrown to celebrate and
prepare for the arrival of a new baby
digitalisation – changing information or
activities into digital form, using devices such as
computers or smartphones
On ending note dire – very serious or urgent
dissect – to carefully examine and analyse
I want to summarise this by saying that nothing is black something by taking it apart
and white, and neither is this matter. It is doubtful that distress – extreme anxiety, sorrow, or pain
any of those parents had bad intentions when starting inexplicable – something that can't be
and running those channels. Most parents want the pure explained or understood
malicious – intending to hurt or be mean
best for their children, and that's the moral value that malnourished – not getting enough food or
leads to many of their choices, but good intentions don't nutrition
always make the action good itself. There are many monetise – making money from something
potential dangers that sharenting may result in, and most nursery – a special room in a house where
babies or young children sleep, play, and are
people don't even take that into consideration. Many
taken care of
influencers get very defensive when confronted about offspring – kids or babies of a certain parent or
these matters, and it's neither productive nor any better animal
for those kids. Eventually, we need to spark a larger peer pressure – feeling pressured by friends to
conversation, including specialists, and find the safest do something or act a certain way
postpartum – relating to the period of time
middle ground because the voices that are currently after a baby has been born
rising are highly polarised and critical towards each scarring – emotional marks left on someone's
other, with little to no actual understanding. Meanwhile, feelings or memories after a difficult or
the children's safety is still being compromised. traumatic experience
showcase – to display something to show off its
I also believe it needs recognition; all respect is due to best parts
parents who create family-oriented content that aims to spark – to create a sudden burst of energy or
inspiration
be educational and excludes or minimises the kids' image.
temper tantrums – a sudden period of
The amount of knowledge many women would have uncontrolled anger
never acquired otherwise about birth, postpartum, and unsettling – causing feelings of discomfort,
early motherhood that these creators share is undeniably anxiety, or unease
the positive side of this whole story. Also, sharing one or
two pictures, here and there, on special occasions such as
birthdays or holidays is absolutely not a vicious thing to
do. I want to leave you with many doubts, questions, and
concerns because I believe that's the only way we can stop
the mindless digitalisation of our lives without us even
knowing when we have nothing left to be only ours.

Sources:
Bierca M., Wysocka-Świtała A., (2019). „Sharenting po polsku, czyli ile dzieci wpadło do sieci?”,
In order to stay consistent with the message of this Wydawnictwo: Clue PR.

article and true to what we stand for, as a design team, Guardian News and Media. (2024, February 20). Ruby Franke, YouTube mom vlogger, sentenced to
prison for child abuse. The Guardian. [Link]
we decided to include only pictures of kids where their franke-youtube-vlogger-prison-child-abuse
Lefkowitz, A. (2024, February 1). The 10 richest YouTubers. Tasty Edits.
faces aren't directly shown, even if the licence and law [Link]
On Reddit: Mom forces her son to take a thumbnail ... (n.d.).
allow us to do so. [Link]
umbnail_for_her/
Sharenting I Wizerunek Dziecka w Sieci - Nie Zagub dziecka W Sieci - portal [Link]. Nie zagub dziecka
w sieci. [Link]

23
 Parentification By Julia Nowakowska

When a child
becomes a parent
Growing up in a dysfunctional family can cause many a parent instead of focusing on their feelings. Their
problems – especially mental health issues, such as emotions are put on the back burner, making them less
depression, GAD (General Anxiety Disorders), trauma, critical. This can include situations where a child is
and a lot more, leaving kids with struggles in adulthood. required to provide comfort to their parent, solve their
Sometimes, children are left on their own and have to conflicts or care for them during and after fights. As
deal with their troubles without any support. This can airesult, the child's emotions are often ignored.
happen due to various circumstances. For example, some
adults find life's problems more difficult than they The second type, instrumental parentification,
thought and just can't handle them. Some parents may occurs when children take on not age-appropriate
also be absent because of work or other obligations. Then, responsibilities, such as paying bills, taking care of
the kids have to take care of themselves, and in cases siblings, or doing weekly shopping. It is perfectly normal
where there are younger siblings, the oldest child often to assign age-appropriate chores to school-aged children
takes on the role of a parent. or even preschoolers), such as cleaning their room or
washing the dishes. Moreover, they can observe and help
What exactly is parentification, and when can it adults in more demanding activities, depending on the
happen? type and difficulty of the task.

In a typical family system, a parent is responsible for

aichild – adults must provide kids with food, shelter, and
safety. Unfortunately, sometimes it is not that simple.
Some parents just can't take responsibility due to various
conditions. For example, a parent's illness may force
aichild to care for an adult instead of living their own life.
This case doesn't depend on the parent, but there are
many more! Sometimes, a parent can be absent due to
working hours or even being in prison! There are also
situations connected to a parent's addiction. For example,
parents addicted to alcohol, which is common and easily
accessible, can struggle with basic household chores.
Then, a child can automatically take responsibility for the
family's functioning and care for younger siblings. The
case of growing up too fast can cause excessive damage to
a child's psyche, leading to problems in teen and adult
life.

Types of parentification

When discussing the phenomenon of parentification, we

can face different types of it. The first one, emotional
parentification, is strongly connected to fulfilling
[Link]'s emotionalineeds. .In this case a child comforts

24
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
 Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

The family behind a parentified child As a teenager, a person realises that their family
problems are more complicated than they thought as
We've already discussed the conditions among parents aikid. The sense of a lost childhood is pervasive in this
that can lead to parentification. But what about other case and can even lead to depression. As we discussed
family members? What roles do they play in before, a parentified child learns to ignore their feelings,
parentification? Parentification can be categorised into which can result in the inability to express their
two types, which do not exclude each other. They are emotions. It can also lead to feelings of self-blame, guilt,
based on the primary focus of parentification. When one and low self-esteem. All of these factors can contribute to
child takes care of their sibling due to illness or disability, depression, the development of addictions, and many
we are talking about sibling-focused parentification. other struggles.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

On the other hand, when a parent makes a kid their
caretaker, it is an example of parent-focused
parentification. But what about a more distant family?
Unfortunately, the phenomenon we discussed is not
always apparent. From the outside, some issues are not
obvious, even worse ones – for example, alcoholism. To
an observer, the family might appear to be functioning
well. Nobody expects that a child could be credited for
this.

The consequences of parentification

The consequences of parentification can vary depending

on a person's age. A child may experience severe anxiety,
stress, and fear often caused by concerns about the
family's dysfunction coming to light. Children need
family so much that usually, to such an extent, they may
choose a dysfunctional family over none at all.
Additionally, parentified children may suffer from
physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach pains
without any discernible cause, sometimes described as
neuralgia. Parentified kids can also show disruptive
behaviour, such as learning difficulties, social issues, and
aggression. Some children may develop slower than their
peers.

25
 What about adulthood? When a parentified child
becomes an adult, they can suffer from many long-term
problems, such as trust issues, relationship problems

Glossary
(which are caused by the lack of knowledge of how they
should work) or severe mental and physical health issues
that may have an impact on the rest of their life.

Prevention and treatment

acknowledge – to recognise or admit the
existence, truth, or validity of something
BE AWARE! Sometimes, it is hard to acknowledge
discernible – something you can see, hear, or
something, but we should always be careful (for our
notice easily
children and others). Allow your children to see your disruptive – messing up or stopping things
feelings and explain that such emotions are perfectly from going smoothly
normal, even if they are hard. But what if parentification neuralgia – a medical condition characterised
has already occurred, and we have to deal with its by intense, stabbing, or shooting pain that follows
consequences? Well, the best treatment in this case is the path of a nerve or nerves
psychotherapy (especially CBT [read about it in our parentified – a parentified child is forced to
take on the role and responsibilities of a parent
January issue!], which can help you with harmful
put on the back burner – postpone or delay
patterns). There are also many exercises to take care of
something, usually because it's not currently
your inner child, such as writing a letter to them and a priority
talking to them in a friendly way. Eye Movement
Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy –
aimethod for recovering from trauma – can also be
beneficial.

Let a kid experience childhood

As we can see, parentification is a phenomenon that can

harm a child, leaving them with severe problems for the
rest of their lives. Good for us, professional methods are
available to help people overcome their problems and
ultimately heal. What can we do? We should be aware of
these issues and exercise caution for every child. But, if
you think that you might have been parentified during
childhood, don't be afraid to reach professional help. You Source:
deserve to be healthy and happy. [Link]

Photo by Max Goncharov on Unsplash

26
How do Children Learn
Language so Fast?
Genetic Rules of Speech By Weronika Piebiak

About 30 years ago, in Nicaragua, a group of experts

made an effort to create the first Nicaraguan school for
deaf children. While they were debating how to
communicate with them effectively and what language
they should use (sign languages differ per country), the
kids invented their own. It took only three generations
for it to have a fully-formed grammar. As it passed from
one generation to another, the language progressed and
became more sophisticated. Today, it is an official
Nicaraguan sign language that is taught to deaf How is it that kids can invent a new language and learn it
Nicaraguan children all around the country. As the faster than adults? In the 60s, the leading theory
language was still developing, it became fancier, and its suggested that kids learn language by being conditioned
original creators had difficulties with later versions. As to do so. For example, when the child says, "milk", it is
they aged, they lost their exponential ability to learn and usually rewarded with what it asked for, and that's how it
create a language. learns how to speak. The theory has limits, such as how
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash can you condition a child to generate a sentence it has
never heard before or tell their parents about their day?
An alternative theory proposed by a renowned linguist
Noam Chomsky suggests that language is innate. He says
that our brains are programmed to learn and understand
language. Chomsky hypothesised that there are
genetically coded rules of speech. He called it "universal
grammar". All the languages follow those rules in the
world, there can never be one that doesn't follow them.

They determine what kind of words we can build, what

type of sentences we can make, and what sorts of
interpretations we can come up with. Every language has
nouns, verbs, and ways to ask questions. It indicates
aidifference between singular and plural and has a list of
obligatory distinctions like male-female or light and dark.
Those are only a few examples of universal grammar
rules.

So, the kids are born with a set of rules that help them
learn pretty much any language out there. But what
about adults? Why do they lose this ability? When a baby
starts to learn a language, he or she specialises in it. It
starts to lose its ability to hear subtle differences in
certain sounds. Young children can differentiate between
the tones in Mandarin, although you won't be able to do
that.

27
 Photo by Marisa Howenstine on Unsplash

It's an indication of a broader phenomenon of general

neuronal loss. Young kids go through something called
pruning. It's a process in which they lose most of their
brain cell connections. The ones that aren't used as much
degenerate, leaving only the useful ones. This is a reason
you won't be able to speak with a perfect Mandarin accent
and why Japanese people have difficulty differentiating
"R" and "L".

Moreover, the second language (learnt after a child is 12)

is coded in a different place in the brain than a native
one. When a baby grows up bilingual, both languages are scan and see some
coded in the centre of Broca's and Wernicke's area. Those language statistics!
are our "language centres". One is responsible for
language generation, and the other for language
comprehension. When the language isn't getting coded in
the centre of those structures, learning it becomes less
effective.

All those factors make up for the fact that children better
understand, comprehend, and learn a new language.
Glossary
Remember, if you want your child to be fluent in it, it's
degenerate – to decline or deteriorate
better to start as early as possible. physically, mentally, or morally
differentiate – to recognise or ascertain what
makes someone or something different
distinction – a difference between two
similar things
exponential – growing or increasing at a very
fast rate, often becoming much larger or more
over time
innate – existing in one from birth
pruning – removing or cutting out

28
SEPHORA KIDS
& THE RED PILL
How Does Social Media
Influence Young Children¨
By Karolina Tomczak

According to Digital Voices' study, 55% of Gen Alpha Selling insecurities

want to buy something their favourite star promotes, and
Where does the root of the problem lie? The American
49% of kids trust influencers as much as they trust their
Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry states that
friends and family.¹ Young girls in the USA are rushing to
children aged 8-12 spend up to 6 hours on their
Sephora to buy hundreds worth of products that are
electronic devices (phones, tablets, etc.). However, teens'
typically marketed towards much older consumers. It is
screen time can reach as much as 9 hours per day.³ By
almost satirical to see young kids showing their collection
scrolling through social media, kids and teens are
of anti-ageing and exfoliating products. On the other side,
exposed to overly edited pictures or clips. Naive children
we see boys exclaiming, "Fuck women!" As we all know,
will look at a highly edited skincare vlog and think,
children are the easiest to influence. Mature individuals
"Iiwish I had skin like that!' not knowing it is fake.
would stop for a second and think, "Do I really need this
Fortunately, the influencer shows his whole routine, so
product?" "Are those the virtues I want to claim?"
they are advised to buy overpriced products that will
Unfortunately, a child's brain cannot sense manipulation
guarantee clear skin like that, right? Well, not really, but
or rationally evaluate the content they see. But what
how are they supposed to know that? Indeed, the UK's
exactly is the problem? How can Gen Z and Gen Alpha be
one third of teenagers report shame connected to their
so deeply influenced and harmed by social media?
body image, and 40% say that the stuff they see on social
media is the reason they have doubts about themselves.⁴
Sephora Kids
That would explain the never-ending pursuit of the (so-
At the beginning of 2024, we brought a wave of 9-12- called) perfect appearance.
year-old girls showing off their skincare routines to the
social media platforms. Children are now investing in
expensive creams, serums and cleansers. It involves
products potentially dangerous to young, inexperienced
kids, like retinol or heavy exfoliating acids. Kids, while
not knowing how to use such substances properly, end up
having heavy burns and causing damage to their young
(and frequently flawless) skin. Retinol is used to recreate
lost collagen cells that disappear with age. However,
dermatologists point out that the substance used as
aichild can damage this process, which naturally occurs
in the teenage body without any external support.² The
Young body produces enough collagen. It doesn't need
help. Apart from that, immature skin has a lot of thinner
skin barrier. It's more susceptible to irritation and
damage.

Photo by Juliane Liebermann on Unsplash

29
 Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash.

Boys swallowing the Red Pill Do boys really hate women?

Have you ever seen a TikTok or an Instagram reel As mentioned earlier, there is an example of a young boy
showing little boys screaming how they hate women? saying horrible things about women in general to his
Well, the Red Pill epidemic has also reached the youngest somewhat of an ideological mentor. It doesn't prove that
audience. A few months ago, a clip went viral of a famous boys do hate women. It just shows how easy it is to
Red Pill influencer, Sneako, meeting his adolescent fans. influence kids. They see things online and mindlessly
Boys during the meeting started saying, "Fuck women!". repeat them. An adult will have the intellectual capacity
Sneako, agitated, corrects him by saying, "What? No, no, to think, "This cannot be real" or "I don't think it's true".
wait, wait, we love women!". It purely shows how harmful Adults will have the ability to analyse or find the middle
the Red Pill ideology can be to young boys and how it can ground critically. Kids can't do that. The brain fully
distort their thinking. develops between the ages of 25 and 30. We're not here to
shame children for that. We simply should acknowledge
The movement itself and its effects it and protect them from the dangerous materials seen
online. Those ideas about women, sex and relationships
But what exactly is the Red Pill movement? It focuses on
could deeply damage young people's beliefs in that field.
promoting self-improvement, highlighting physical or
Entering adulthood, they could face many difficulties
psychological differences between genders and
when forming intergender relations. How can we expect
encouraging men to adhere to more traditional roles. It
boys to have the ability to form healthy relationships
points out the physical strength of men (often pictures
when growing up when they've seen messages on social
them as more decisive and more intelligent than women)
media suggesting that women are inferior to men?
and encourages them to pursue it and, all in all, progress.
The Guardian titled its article about the movement as
ai"heart of modern misogyny".⁵ Unfortunately, the title is
not far from the truth, especially for the most radical
voices. The ideology often states women are less
competent, suited for running the household, and deep
down, being submissive to the stronger (both physically
and mentally) men. However, aside from promoting
healthy lifestyle and physical activity, the movement is
filled with sexual topics and contributes to the rape
culture. As the icon of the movement, without names, the
"top G" said, "Women don't really want freedom. They
say they do, but they don't. Women want to be led, they
want to be dominated, they want to be guided." Aside
from any feminist sets of beliefs, I think we can all agree
that exposing young kids to topics related to sex and
objectification can be highly damaging. These ideas teach
boys to view not only women but also sex in general in an
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.
objectifying manner.
30
In conclusion, the emergence of Gen Z and Gen Alpha on
social media platforms has unveiled concerning trends in
their behaviour and beliefs. Does this mean that

Glossary
everything found on social media will cause harm?
Absolutely not. However, parents should watch their
children and not abide by everything they take from
TikTok or Instagram. The situation in which the children
adhere (to) – to stick firmly to something,
rush to follow their favourite star and influencer is
such as a rule, belief, or principle
alarming. We should be aware of the psychological toll
capacity – the ability to do a particular thing
that social media has on the youngest. The overly edited distort – to change or affect something,
images and videos on social media platforms contribute especially in a way that makes it worse
to distorted body image perceptions among children and irritation – slight pain and discomfort of the
teens. Additionally, harmful ideologies like the Red Pill skin
among young boys show the importance of parental objectifying – treating someone as an object
monitoring of online content that the kids consume daily. rather than as a person with feelings, thoughts,
and autonomy
We should educate the children about critical thinking or
overly – too much or excessively
media literacy and limit their exposure to negative role
pursuit (of) – chasing after or trying to get
models. something
screen time – the time spent in front of a
screen
submissive – doing what others say without
arguing
Sources: suited (to) – appropriate for a particular
¹ [Link]
² [Link] purpose or situation
[Link] susceptible (to) – likely to be affected by
³ [Link]
[Link]
something
⁴ [Link] toll – the bad effects of something
and-identify-social-media-key-cause-new-survey-mental
⁵ [Link]
manosphere-men

Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash

31
 Photo by Lucas Alexander on Unsplash

Interview By Jan Wolicki

with a special needs teacher
This month, conducting the interview was not easy. Two JW: What are the biggest challenges in working with the
of my interviewees got sick, one of them just a few days youngest children?
before the scheduled interview. (It's often said that when
one teacher gets sick in preschool, it's not long before MW: I mainly work with children with disabilities,
others follow suit.) So, I panicked a little bit, but then I intellectual, physical, or multiple. With children, there
remembered someone who helped me out of a few tight usually isn't a problem; children usually actively
spots in the past: my Mom. She's a special needs teacher participate in all activities. The problem usually lies with
who has been working in a preschool for children with the parents, who often do not understand the child's way
special needs for several years. She also has experience of functioning and setting their boundaries. If a preschool
working with people with disabilities ranging from 0 to education teacher sets certain requirements for the child
30 years old. I thought that she might have some and the child is able to learn certain norms and rules,
valuable insights for me. This short interview is what often this work is thwarted at home where the rules and
came out of it. I hope you find it interesting. norms we have taught them are broken, and the work
becomes somewhat desynchronised, incomplete. The
Jan Wolicki: Who is a child for you in a professional child divides preschool and home into two worlds mixed
context? in an incomprehensible way.

Małgorzata Wolicka: Well, it is an individual who JW: So, is this difference in rules at home and preschool
requires guidance and direction to understand their caused by parents?
needs and solve their problems. Above all, it is an
individual who needs to be loved and accepted. MW: Parents look at the child completely differently.
After all, it's their child. Of course, it sometimes happens
JW: And what do you consider most important for the due to a lack of knowledge. However, the parent perceives
youngest children? the child's needs differently emotionally because they
love their child. The person who cares for the child in the
MW: Emotional development and acceptance in every institution (especially a child like the ones I work with)
possible environment, including family, school, and so wants to develop action patterns to help the child
on. Motivation, well to motivate them and praise them. function better. And that means a different dynamic in
Developing all functions: physical, mental and manual. A perceiving their needs. If we don't develop these patterns
preschool-aged child is a very absorbent being who has in the child, the child will have difficulties in functioning
the potential for tremendous development of these in society. So, the biggest challenge is not working with
functions, and we need to ensure that. the child but with the parent.

32
 Photo by Anton Sukhinov on Unsplash

JW: What exactly does working with a child entail,

because, as it turns out, it's not just working with the
child?

MW: Working with a child is working with a parent, with

a group of specialists, with the educational system, and
each child is an individual entity. You want to enable the
child to function well while also realising yourself – your MW: The preschool programme provides the child with
goals and ideas, and incorporating them into one. The the opportunity to develop in many areas, allowing for
classes have to be conducted in a way that they do just creative development. In the first grades of primary
that. At the same time, these classes should allow the school, it's not bad, but then you work schematically.
child to develop in all possible areas. Working with the There is a lesson plan, a programme. The teacher often
parent involves making them aware that the child should forgets that there is a child there. From my experience
be given as many opportunities as possible, offering working with people with difficulties, I know that this
aiwide spectrum of options to meet their needs and for programme is different and there is room for creativity.
the parent to spend time getting to know and developing Many areas are being developed. The problem is also the
together with the child. size of the classes. It is difficult for the teacher to
approach each student individually. Each is an individual
JW: You have worked in institutions where you have entity. This sometimes leads to conflicts between teachers
dealt with both young children and adults. What and students. There is no understanding.
characterises the dynamics of working with people of
different ages? JW: Has this changed over the years?

MW: In preschool, it is evident that children are being

raised with technology. They get a phone, tablet, or
laptop and can operate them. You can see that they spend
a lot of time with these devices.

JW: And how does it impact the teacher's work?

MW: Children are definitely overstimulated. They can't

focus. But I haven't noticed any drastic problems.
However, these devices are really helpful when it comes
to working with children with disabilities. For example,
someone who doesn't speak communicates with us via
tablet. Some children wouldn't be able to function
without these devices. They have become routine for
them and part of their lives. Of course, we don't allow
children in preschool to use mobile phones, etc. However,
we use them at work, even for mundane things like
playing music.

JW: What motivates you to work or demotivates you?

What burns you out?

MW: I encounter new challenges every day. Each day is

different, and you have to adapt or even change. Adjust
the classes and conduct them according to children's
needs. In preschool, children are eager to participate. In
older grades, it looks different. There is resistance. Not
burnout, but rather fatigue. Working with children, where
each is different and needs slightly different activities
requires flexibility and is mentally exhausting. However,
it's also training. I like to look at it that way.
Discouragement sometimes appears when, after a long
time working with a child, there are no results or even
regression occurs. Such things happen, it slightly
demotivates.
Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash 33
 JW: And what then motivates you?

MW: The need to be there for them, to make them aware

that they are needed. Also, help.

JW: What is the most important?

MW: That the child is happy, that they want to

participate in activities, and that they cooperate with the
group. The child says they want to have classes with you.
It's a relationship that develops after some time of
working with the child when I accept the child, and they
accept me.

JW: What is lacking, on the other hand?

MW: Teachers who are passionate about their work.

There is a big deficit of that. Of course, it's not a job for
everyone. There is also a lack of equipment – audiovisual,
toys specifically adapted to the needs of children,
playgrounds adapted to the needs of children with
difficulties, and green space, one that would allow
working with children outdoors. Also, in my opinion,
innovation is needed to meet parental needs. For
example, I see a lack of flexibility. It's unnecessary to
drop off the child only from 8:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., but
for example, from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. There is a lack
of additional activities offered by preschools in one place,
so parents have to travel across the town. It's also difficult
for children to adapt to a new group and place. I think
that's all.

JW: Thank you very much.

MW: You're welcome. It was a pleasure speaking with you.

Glossary
entity – something that exists as a separate and
distinct unit
guidance – help or advice given to someone to
help them make decisions or show them the right
way to do something
mundane – ordinary, routine, or not
particularly exciting or interesting
regression – a return to an earlier or less
advanced state or condition
thwart – to prevent someone or something from
achieving their goal or purpose

Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash

34
LIFESTYLE CORNER

35
 DOOMED
Generation
Throughout history, elders have criticised younger generations, a tradition dating back to Aristotle
or even earlier. My generation was criticised by the older, so I decided to stop this never-ending
cycle and not criticise youngsters. They are raised in different conditions than we were, and some of
these changes may present unique challenges for them.

So-called Generation Alpha, or those born after 2010, are often referred to as iPad Kids. In short, it
means these kids were growing up using new technologies – smartphones, tablets, laptops. While
watching a cartoon from time to time is not bad, when it comes to Gen Alphas, they seem to be going
too far. They are more likely to play games or watch game plays, which are often inappropriate for
their age and don't really teach them anything new. Also, concerning the consumed content, it's
often meaningless, inane and incorporates harmful or suggestive themes.

Surprisingly, in an age when information is widely and universally accessible, and it's relatively easy
to learn new things, Gen Alpha struggles with reading and writing. Here's an example from my
friend's sister and her peers. The girl is having problems with learning due to her disabilities, but
she still does her best to read and write at a level that is appropriate for her age. It's definitely not
easy for her. She and her family are investing much effort and time into practice. And, well, it works.
However, some children in her school have much more trouble with basic academic skills. Of course,
everybody has their own limits and pace. Nevertheless, children at the age of 8 or 9 failing their
classes and struggling to pass to the next grade is concerning, to say the least.

Maybe the parenting styles of Gen Alpha's parents are to blame? Maybe we need a balance between
criticism and acceptance? Watching every step a child takes isn't the best idea. The same goes for
leaving a child without any care, which can lead to educational problems. As Aristotle said – it's best
to find the golden mean.
Wiktoria Wiśniewska

Pa un
Ple se I can tell when you're
lying just by looking at
you. I can also tell when
you're standing.

My therapist told
me I have problems
expressing my
emotions. Can't say
I'm surprised.

36
 Whimsical
LANGUAGE
Idioms
A close-knit family
A family that is very close and
supportive of each other.
Proverbs
A chip off the old block
A child who is very similar to their parent in Blood will tell
personality or behaviour.
A person's true character or qualities
(often bad ones) will eventually become
apparent over time.

(Own) flesh and blood

Someone's (own) flesh and blood is that It takes a whole village to
person's close relative.
bring up a child
For a good upbringing, a child should have
positive and nurturing interactions with
people outside their immediate family as well.
To run in the family
If something like an illness or quality runs in the family,
then members of that family are prone to it.
Love makes a family
The belief that love and care truly define
a family, regardless of blood relations.

A shoulder to lean on
Someone who provides emotional support
and comfort in difficult times. Like father, like son
Like mother, like daughter
Said when a son is similar to his father and
Skeletons in the closet a daughter is similar to her mother.

Hidden or secret problems or embarrassing

facts about a family.

Where there's smoke,

there's fire
Babe in the woods If something seems wrong, it probably is;
there is usually some truth to a rumour.
An innocent, naive, or inexperienced person in
a dangerous or challenging situation.

37
 Parenting
Types
by Julia Nowakowska

According to studies made by Diana Baumrind, there are

4 main types of parenting. What are they about and how
do family relations look in those cases?

The authoritarian type refers to a

situation when a parent wants a child to
obey their strict rules without any
discussion. Also, this type includes severe
punishments for breaking those rules.

The permissive parents let children do

what they want and don’t set any limits at
all. They usually seem like they are not
controlling the situation.

The neglectful type involves not

interacting with children much. These
parents don’t give children many rules and
also don’t show much attention.

The authoritative type is the most

beneficial one. In this case, parent
provides children with support and
understanding but also sets some rules
that are well thought out.

38
 Introduction to Mother-Tongue

Glottodidactics

Mother-tongue glottodidactics has been developed by the

remarkable Polish speech therapist Prof. Bronisław Rocławski
who specialises in preschool and early childhood education.

Glottodidactics foundations are based on scientific research

and had their beginnings in the 1970s. It aims to give children
the most efficient and enjoyable learing experience to equip
them with neccecary skills of writing, reading and counting.

Glottodidactics postulates include for children to enjoy

learning and be eager to acquire new knowledge, for
teachers to recognise the right time and way to teach their
pupils, every small step and success of the child is reinforced
which supports their development. Teachers who fail as
pedagogues blame only themselves – never the children, and
there shouldn’t be any homework because everything the
child should learn is taught at school.

Teachers following glottodidactic’s objectives are often

called modern or “teachers of the 21st century” because,
indeed, these ways are “cutting-edge” in comparison to long
overdue pre-war education system that still functions in
Poland today.
By Martyna Lekan

39
 Let’s embark on a journey together!

Join us in the
wonderful world of
language education,
psychology, and
creative expression!

“Reading is to the mind what

exercise is to the body.”
Joseph Addison
Photo by Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

Scan the QR code to submit your application or email us at: PSYCHLINGO@[Link]

Two Glottodidactics
"Glottodidactics" is a term used in science with at least was very demanding when examining students. To score
two different meanings. The name is derived from well in linguistics, one had to be prepared for a thorough
ancient Greek: "glotta" – language, "didaskein" – to examination – primarily of the theoretical views of de
teach, didactics – knowledge about teaching and learning Saussure and Chomsky.
methods.
Secondly, "mother-tongue glottodidactics" about which
Firstly, glottodidactics – a subfield of applied linguistics more is written by Martyna Lekan in this issue is
developed in Poland (as written by Prof. Magdalena associated with broadly understood speech therapy and
Olpińska-Szkiełko in the article "Anthropocentric related fields. The author of the idea of mother-tongue
Glottodidactics") in the early 1960s of the last century at glottodidactics, Professor Bronisław Rocławski, focused
the Institute of Applied Linguistics at the University of mainly on teaching reading and writing. Obviously, in its
Poznań. Since 1966, a scientific periodical, development, he used the achievements of linguistics,
Glottodidactica. An International Journal of Applied especially phonetics and phonology.
Linguistics has been published in English by the
Barbara Borowska, PhD, briefly presents the said concept
University Press.
as follows: "In B. Rocławski's method, learning to read
The development of linguistic glottodidactics was and write requires meeting two fundamental conditions,
significantly contributed to by Professor Franciszek i.e., a good, passive knowledge of the entire alphabet and
Grucza (a full member of the Polish Academy of Sciences the ability to synthesise and analyse the phonemic
and recipient of honorary doctorates from Polish and structure of words".
foreign universities). According to the Professor, "the
Professor Rocławski was the head of the Department of
subject of glottodidactics constitutes those skills of
Speech Therapy at the Maria Grzegorzewska University
people, based on which they can learn and teach (foreign)
from 1994 to 2003. You can read about it in an
languages". The Professor's understanding of the subject,
interesting article, "Warsaw Speech Therapy. History and
tasks, and research results of glottodidactics is presented
Contemporary Times", co-authored by Danuta Emiluta-
in volumes 5 and 6 of his Collected Works titled "On
Rozya, PhD.
Language Learning and Glottodidactics I, II".
It's worth mentioning that PsychLingo magazine draws
As part of an individual course of study, I had the
inspiration from anthropocentric glottodidactic within
opportunity to participate in a fantastically-conducted
the meaning of the Poznań School and Professor
seminar by the Professor dedicated to general linguistics,
Franciszek Grucza.
applied linguistics, and glottodidactics. The Professor
was
BT
40
 Culture
Club
"Captain
Fantastic"
In 2016, Matt Ross gave us a fantastic drama Captain Fantastic that unfortunately went unnoticed by many. The film raises some
thought-provoking questions, which is rare in today's film industry. It is not a conventional story but rather about an old hippie who
raises his children outside of society in a way that would make Rousseau proud. However, when the mother dies, problems arise. The
beauty of this film lies in its simplicity. It doesn't force overcomplicated meanings onto its viewers through dialogue or scenes that
one must catch to make sense of the story. It is what it is, and because of that, it gives us time to ponder the questions that arise. Is
this the way we should be living our lives, raising our children? Are we robbing mankind of its natural way of living and thinking? Or
is it all just a big disaster?

From the perspective of the knowledge that the father instils in them and the critical thinking he nurtures (if not coerces), it would
seem so. However, upon closer observation, we notice subtle hints of uncertainty, surprise, and struggle when they try to reenter
society. This uncertainty makes us question whether our way of life is merely a necessity or whether it is disastrous. Is knowledge
more important than socialisation? Is morality learned through reading about it, or is it shaped by living in a diverse society and
learning from others every day?

Captain Fantastic isn't a masterpiece that leaves Titanic far behind, but it is a movie that invites contemplation, a reminder that
nothing is black and white. All of this unfolds in the context of raising six children by one man, illustrating the dilemmas of both
approaches to guiding children into adulthood – the "normal" and the "abnormal". It leaves you without an answer but with a call to
find it.
By Jan Wolicki

"Trapped in
parents' words" How to break free
from the spells cast
on us in childhood

I am a bookworm, so when I find the right book, I become so immersed in reading it that I can't help devour
the text for hours or even days. I'm (not so) afraid that the condition is incurable, so there are just a few
circumstances in the world that can stop the process and even fewer that can inhibit my favourable review to
my friends... Well, today, my friend, I'm encouraging you to read a book written by a psychologist, Agnieszka
Kozak, and a sociolinguist, Jacek Wasilewski. The magical title of it is "Trapped in a parent's words: How
to break free from the spells cast on us in childhood". According to it, words formed in sentences act as a
charm. It might influence you even for decades without you realising it, acting as a trap.
The first part of the book revolves around those who have a negative effect on your life. The author of a
chapter gives you valid reasons to acknowledge the harmful influence of the saying or should I say, belief
that is, at a glance, well-known and harmless. Before you receive the explanation, you get to read a story of a
person under the effect. For me, it was a moment to think about the topic and remark on the feelings I
experienced from what I read. I took my time and continued reading. At the end of a chapter, you receive the
promised ways to break free. The tips make it easier to stand up for yourself and encourage you to stop
ignoring the signals from your body and your needs.
The second part of the book teaches you to consciously use words that break the spell, such as "sorry" or
"please". You could call it the rules of white magic. This type of spell can help you maintain valuable
relationships and strengthen the bond between you and others. The book comes with multiple cultural
references, which must result from a vivid imagination and the great intuition of the writers. It surely makes
the reading more enjoyable.
I think the book is a great invitation to become a philosopher for a moment and rethink some of our choices,
focus on the sources of our beliefs, and ponder the words we tell the little ones. I believe everyone should
make a place for it on their bookshelf. Especially if their plan is to expand the family. Break free, my friend.
By Joanna Łukasiewicz

25
41
 Language Exercises
Exercise 1.
Guess the idioms and proverbs based on the given images. Answers on page 46

1. 2. 3.

4. 5. 6.

Exercise 2.
Complete the sentences below using the appropriate verb forms from the list provided.

stigmatise desensitise introject indulge rear stall

1. Exposure to aggression in media may ________ kids to real-life violence and make them less considerate of other people.
2. Parents should create healthy and safe environments for children to explore and ______ in their creativity to ensure their
emotional and cognitive development.
3. By not addressing mental and psychosocial issues, parents can involuntarily ______ children's development by depriving
them of resources to do well in the world outside.
4. Ted _________ his parents' demands, internalising their expectations and choosing a medical school instead of drama
college, which he truly wanted.
5. Kids who don't have the latest gadgets or appear worse in any way may be _________, as well as those who behave
awkwardly due to their shy nature.
6. Children ______ in nurturing environments usually exhibit greater empathy and compassion.

Exercise 3.
Complete the sentences below using the adjectives below. Some adjectives are redundant.

1. When faced with challenging situations, some children may become ________ and
malnourished submissive assume the role of their parents.
2. Young minds are highly ________ to negative influences. Therefore, it is crucial to
instil the best behaviour patterns in them.
gruesome parasocial 3. Paul grew up spoiled by his parents and, as a result, turned out to be a(n)
________ teenager. He frequently disobeys requests and, at times, does the exact
opposite.
susceptible parentified 4. Katy was evidently ________, with her ribs and hip bones sticking out. However,
she ate a little because all her friends were slim.
5. Despite limited interactions, many people form a(n) ________ relationship with
incorrigible innate their favourite media personality, feeling as if they were close friends.
6. Exposing children to ________ content on TV or the Internet can harm their
mental health and produce insensitive and selfish adults.

42
 Exercise 4.
Complete the crossword puzzle using the provided clues. The solution is indicated by the numbers in the pink squares.

6.▾ 7.▾
2.▸
5.▾

2.

9.▸
1.

3.▸ 1.▸
3. 10.

6.

8.▸
4. 5. 8.

7.

4.▸
9.

Solution

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

1. [...] culture is an online phenomenon of stigmatising certain things (whether it is a behaviour, interest and so on) and considering them to be
embarrassing to indulge in
2. [...] relationship is a bond involving a person and someone they do not know personally
3. [...] parenting is a trend among mothers who use toned-down colours instead of vibrant and primary ones in their child’s decor
4. a defence mechanism causing one to unknowingly adopt the behaviours and beliefs (feelings, ideas, etc.) of another person.
5. a part of your mind that focuses on ensuring that you behave in compliance with societal norms and moral standards
6. is a phenomenon regarding parents who choose to show excessively and often monetise their children online; mostly common among popular
Internet personalities
7. Generation Alpha, or those born after 2010, are often referred to as [...]
8. a phenomenon of a child taking responsibility for the family's functioning and care for younger siblings
9. [...] assumption – the idea that the upbringing of children is a decisive factor in shaping their personality and character

Exercise 5.
Pair the words from each column to form collocations, and then use them to fill in the blanks in the sentences provided below.

A B 1. Experiencing traumatic events or situations during childhood may

take a heavy ________________, affecting their mental health
temper mechanisms later in life.
2. __________________ occurs when a child is forced to
intellectual parentification emotionally care for their parents when they are unable to take care
of themselves.
authority tantrums 3. The concept of a child as a ___________ suggests that they come
to this world without any inborn content and that they are yet to be
shaped by their environment.
defence toll
4. Usually, children use immature ______________ when they
can't otherwise defend themselves against pain or anxiety.
blank capacity 5. Children with oppositional defiant disorder typically have no regard
for their parents, teachers and other _____________.
psychological figure 6. As they grow older, children's _____________ expands, allowing
them to use adult-like logic and understand complex concepts.
emotional slate 7. Many people frown upon children throwing _____________, not
realising that they are a normal part of child development.

43
 Glossary
What’s so Beneficial About Reading to Unmonitored Internet Access and its Effects
Children? on Children
emergent – just beginning to appear or develop bond – a strong connection or relationship between people
exploit – to take advantage of something in a way that's not desensitise – to make someone less sensitive or emotionally
fair or ethical responsive to something, often through repeated exposure
literacy – knowing how to read and write explicit – clearly stated or shown
gore – graphic and bloody violence or content
Nurture Assumption gruesome – extremely unpleasant or horrifying
indulge in – to allow oneself to enjoy something, often
blank slate – a concept that people are born with no innate
considered luxurious or pleasurable
characteristics or predispositions, and their development is
Internet traction – a level of attention, interest, or popularity
shaped by their environment and experiences
that something gains on the internet
botched – messed up, badly done
notorious – widely known, usually for something negative
defy – to openly resist or refuse to obey
parasocial – relating to a one-sided relationship, typically
de-transition – the process of reverting to one's original
between a viewer or fan and a media personality
gender identity
plethora – a large amount of something.
inherent – existing as an essential characteristic or quality
quality time – dedicated and meaningful time spent with
within someone or something
someone
malleable – adaptable or easily influenced
shoot the breeze – to chat casually or have a relaxed
nature vs. nurture – the age-old debate that considers the
conversation
impact of genetics (nature) versus environmental factors
stigmatise – to unfairly label or mark someone or something
(nurture) on human behaviour and traits
as shameful or undesirable
rear – to bring up and care for (a child)

Sharenting and Artificial Intelligence

Thou Childhood Shalt be Beige!
baby shower – a party thrown to celebrate and prepare for the
boundary – the limit of what is acceptable
arrival of a new baby
dub – to give an unofficial name or nickname to someone or
digitalisation – changing information or activities into digital
something
form, using devices such as computers or smartphones
endorse – to declare one's public approval or support of
dire – very serious or urgent
something
dissect – to carefully examine and analyse something by taking
essentials – necessary personal belongings, such as toiletries
it apart
or clothing items
distress – extreme anxiety, sorrow, or pain
exposure – the state of being exposed to, e.g. risk or harm
inexplicable – something that can't be explained or
genderless – not conforming to traditional gender roles or
understood
distinctions
malicious – intending to hurt or be mean
stall – to stop making progress, typically due to a lack of
malnourished – not getting enough food or nutrition
movement or activity
monetise – making money from something
uncharted waters – a situation or area that is unfamiliar
nursery – a special room in a house where babies or young
children sleep, play, and are taken care of
Introjection offspring – kids or babies of a certain parent or animal
authority figure – a person who is seen as having power, peer pressure – feeling pressured by friends to do something
influence, or control, such as a parent, teacher, or boss or act a certain way
defence mechanism – ways people unconsciously protect postpartum – relating to the period of time after a baby has
themselves from uncomfortable feelings or situations been born
flaw – imperfection scarring – emotional marks left on someone's feelings or
in compliance with – following rules, regulations, or memories after a difficult or traumatic experience
standards showcase – to display something to show off its best parts
incorrigible – incapable of being corrected or improved spark – to create a sudden burst of energy or inspiration
introject – to internalise or take in the ideas, beliefs, or temper tantrums – a sudden period of uncontrolled anger
attitudes of others, usually without conscious awareness unsettling – causing feelings of discomfort, anxiety, or unease

44
Parentification Whimsical Language
acknowledge – to recognise or admit the existence, truth, or a close-knit family – a family that is very close and
validity of something supportive of each other
discernible – something you can see, hear, or notice easily a chip off the old block – a child who is very similar to their
disruptive – messing up or stopping things from going parent in personality or behaviour
smoothly (own) flesh and blood – someone's (own) flesh and blood is
neuralgia – a medical condition characterised by intense, that person's close relative
stabbing, or shooting pain that follows the path of a nerve or to run in the family – if something like an illness or quality
nerves runs in the family, then members of that family are prone to it
parentified – a parentified child is forced to take on the role a shoulder to lean on – someone who provides emotional
and responsibilities of a parent support and comfort in difficult times
put on the back burner – postpone or delay something, skeletons in the closet – hidden or secret problems or
usually because it's not currently a priority embarrassing facts about a family
babe in the woods – an innocent, naive, or inexperienced
How do Children Learn Language so Fast? person in a dangerous or challenging situation

degenerate – to decline or deteriorate physically, mentally, or

morally
Blood will tell. – A person's true character or qualities (often
differentiate – to recognise or ascertain what makes someone
bad ones) will eventually become apparent over time.
or something different
It takes a whole village to bring up a child. – For a good
distinction – a difference between two similar things
upbringing, a child should have positive and nurturing
exponential – growing or increasing at a very fast rate, often
interactions with people outside their immediate family as well.
becoming much larger or more over time
Love makes a family. – The belief that love and care truly
innate – existing in one from birth
define a family, regardless of blood relations.
pruning – removing or cutting out
Like father, like son./Like mother, like daughter. –
– Said when a son is similar to his father and a daughter is
Sephora Kids and the Red Pill similar to her mother.
adhere (to) – to stick firmly to something, such as a rule, Where there's smoke, there's fire. – If something seems
belief, or principle wrong, it probably is; there is usually some truth to a rumour.
capacity – the ability to do a particular thing
distort – to change or affect something, especially in a way that
makes it worse
irritation – slight pain and discomfort of the skin
objectifying – treating someone as an object rather than as a
person with feelings, thoughts, and autonomy
overly – too much or excessively
pursuit (of) – chasing after or trying to get something
screen time – the time spent in front of a screen
submissive – doing what others say without arguing
suited (to) – appropriate for a particular purpose or situation
susceptible (to) – likely to be affected by something
toll – the bad effects of something

Interview
entity – something that exists as a separate and distinct unit
guidance – help or advice given to someone to help them
make decisions or show them the right way to do something
mundane – ordinary, routine, or not particularly exciting or
interesting
regression – a return to an earlier or less advanced state or
condition
thwart – to prevent someone or something from achieving
their goal or purpose

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

45
 Last but not least...

What do babies think?

Alison Gopnik, July 2011

"Babies and young children are like the R&D division of the
human species," says psychologist Alison Gopnik. Her
Watch here! research explores the sophisticated intelligence-gathering and
decision-making that babies are really doing when they play.

How can you check

Linguistic Tidbit
if a movie/show is
The term “portmanteau word” was conjured
children appropriate? up by Lewis Carroll in the adventures of Alice in
Through the Looking-Glass. Humpty Dumpty,
Have you ever been struggling with gave the following definition of such a creation:
checking age restrictions of movie or a TV
show? Or, if you are familiar with PG
ratings, have you ever wondered why the
movie is rated like that? It’s like a portmanteau –
– there are two meanings
There is a useful website, [Link], packed up into one word.
where you can check movie’s rates in several
categories, like violence. Also, you can see in
which way they appear in the film, because Linguists, less poetically, refer to this phenomenon as
all of the scenes with, for example, violence a “blend”, which occurs as a result of the merging of two
are described! linguistic elements. There are quite a lot of such well-
-established portmanteau words in English: for
Scan and see! example, vlog — from video and blog, smog — from
smoke and fog, sheeple — from sheep and people, that
is, people are very easy to lead and manipulate.

Answers to exercises

Exercise 1. Exercise 2. Exercise 3. Exercise 4. Exercise 5.

1. babe in the woods 1. desensitise 1. parentified 1. psychological toll
1. cringe 6. sharenting
2. blood will tell 2. indulge 2. susceptible 2. emotional parentification
2. parasocial 7. iPad kids
3. (own) flesh and blood 3. stall 3. incorrigible 3. blank slate
3. beige 8. parentification
4. skeletons in the closet 4. introjected 4. malnourished 4. defence mechanisms
4. introjection 9. nurture
5. like father, like son 5. stigmatised 5. parasocial 5. authority figures
5. superego
6. a shoulder to lean on 6. reared 6. gruesome 6. intellectual capacity
Solution: upbringing 7. temper tantrums

46
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