Z
ero is a beautiful number. Not because it is round and cute (that could
be an argument for it nevertheless) but because what it signifies. It marks
the beginning of something. It marks the lowest something, or someone can
go. It is the ultimate foundation to build anything upon.
Over last several years, I’ve started several things from scratch and have
failed at many (thus going back to zero), and I’ve realized there’s nothing
more liberating than being at zero because the only way from zero is
upwards. A very good friend once told me, “Don’t worry if you’ve failed.
Rockets that touch the sky always launch from the ground.”
As J K Rowling, one of my favorite authors
says, “Rock bottom became the solid
foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”
While zero is liberating, thrilling and exciting, it sometimes also is daunting
and overwhelming. Sometimes, I have found myself afraid to do something
because I was comfortable being at zero and the task to go from zero to one
seemed unnerving. This challenge of writing twenty-six stories was one
such adventure. I remember it was the first of April when I decided to pen
down a story for each letter of the alphabet. I was afraid if I was
unknowingly planning to fool myself on April 1st.
I had no clue what to write even for the first letter of the alphabet. I was
afraid I’d ruin twenty-six stories if I begin writing them just for the sake of
writing.
What gave me the courage to take up the challenge was to lower the
expectations that I’d have from these stories. My purpose was not to write
twenty-six bestseller stories. Mine was to make it a habit of writing every
day. Some days everything that came out of my pen was garbage, and on a
few days, I loved what my hands typed on the blank paper. And today, with
this last story, I am back at zero — a solid foundation for the next
adventure.
Writing has become my daily habit, and I can remember to write even
without my calendar sending me a reminder. I am curious what could I
make out of this habit. Shall I start another writing adventure? Will it be a
similar series? Will be a novel (long due now)? Or something different
altogether?
Whatever it’d be, I guess I’ll be little less nervous to begin whatever comes
next. I am at zero again, and the only way to go from here is upwards.
Realizing that there’ll be one less thing in my daily routine, I feel a
particular kind of guilt. It’s the kind of guilt that you feel when you have an
ice-cream without telling your younger sibling about it. You kind of like it
that you had the ice-cream but also feel guilty for hiding it from them.
On the new adventure, whatever it’d be, it’s time to buy an ice-cream for
them this time.
