Shiduchim Talk

1. Chullin 139b:12
‫ כג) מר דרור‬,‫ יח) ואנכי הסתר אסתיר מרדכי מן התורה מנין דכתיב (שמות ל‬,‫אסתר מן התורה מנין (דברים לא‬
:‫ומתרגמינן מירא דכיא‬
They also asked Rav Mattana: From where in the Torah can one find an allusion to the events
involving Esther? He replied to them that the verse states: “Then My anger shall be kindled
against them on that day, and I will forsake them, and I will hide My face from them, and they
shall be devoured, and many evils and troubles shall come upon them; so that they will say in
that day: Have not these evils come upon us because our God is not among us? And I will hide
[haster astir] My face on that day for all the evil which they shall have wrought, in that they are
turned to other gods” (Deuteronomy 31:17–18).

2. Esther 4:14
‫ִּ֣כי ִאם־ַהֲחֵ֣ר ׁש ַּת ֲחִר יִׁש ֮י ָּבֵ֣ע ת ַהֹּזא֒ת ֶ֣ר ַוח ְוַהָּצָ֞ל ה ַיֲע֤מ ֹוד ַלְּיהּוִד י֙ם ִמ ָּמ ֣ק ֹום ַאֵ֔ח ר ְוַ֥אְּת ּוֵבית־ָאִ֖ב יְך ֹּתאֵ֑ב דּו ּוִ֣מ י יֹוֵ֔ד ַע ִא ם־ְלֵ֣ע ת‬
‫ָּכ ֹ֔ז את ִהַּ֖גַעְּת ַלַּמ ְלֽכּות׃‬

3. Shabbat 150a:12
.‫ ֶחְפֵצי ָׁש ַמ ִים מּוָּת ִר ין‬,‫ ״ִמ ְּמצֹוא ֶחְפְצָך ְוַד ֵּבר ָּד ָבר״ — ֲחָפֶציָך ֲאסּוִר ים‬:‫ָאַמר ְקָר א‬
And Rabbi Shmuel bar Naḥmani said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: One may go to theaters
[tarteiot], and circus performances [kirkesaot], and courthouses [basilkaot] to attend to
communal affairs on Shabbat. And one of the Sages in the school of Menashe taught: One
may make the necessary arrangements to pair off children so that they will be betrothed on
Shabbat, and one may likewise make arrangements for a child by finding someone to teach
him how to read books and to teach him a craft. If speaking about monetary matters is
prohibited on Shabbat, how is it possible to participate in all these activities? The Gemara
answers that although speaking about similar things is generally prohibited on Shabbat, it is
permitted in these cases because the verse said: “Nor pursuing your business, nor speaking of
it” (Isaiah 58:13), which indicates that your business matters are prohibited to speak of on
Shabbat, but the business of Heaven, matters which have religious significance, is permitted to
speak of.

4. Deuteronomy 10:20
‫ֶאת־ְיהָ֧וה ֱא ֹלֶ֛היָך ִּת יָ֖ר א ֹאֹ֣ת ו ַת ֲעֹ֑ב ד ּוֹ֣ב ו ִת ְד ָּ֔ב ק ּוִבְׁש ֹ֖מ ו ִּת ָּׁש ֵֽבַע׃‬

5. Hasagot HaRamban on Sefer HaMitzvot, Shorashim 1:8

.‫והתשובה ג' היא שמנה בעל ההלכות ניחום אבלים וביקור חולים וקבורת מתים והלבשת ערומים‬
6. Shabbat 133b:6
.‫ ָמ ה הּוא ַחּנּון ְוַר חּום — ַאף ַאָּת ה ֱהֵיה ַחּנּון ְוַר חּום‬,‫ ״ְוַאְנֵוהּו״ — ֱהֵוי ּדֹוֶמ ה לֹו‬:‫ַא ָּבא ָׁש אּול אֹוֵמ ר‬

7. Bereshit Rabbah 68:4

‫ ַמ ְטרֹוָנה ָׁש ֲאָלה ֶאת ַר ִּבי יֹוֵסי ַּבר ֲחַלְפָּת א ָאְמ ָר ה לֹו‬,‫ ֱאֹלִהים מֹוִׁש יב ְיִחיִד ים ַּבְיָת ה‬:)‫ ז‬,‫ַר ִּבי ְיהּוָד ה ַּבר ִסימֹון ָּפַת ח (תהלים סח‬
‫ ִּכי ֵׁש ֶׁש ת ָיִמים ָעָׂש ה ה' ֶא ת‬:)‫ יא‬,‫ ְּכִד ְכִת יב (שמות כ‬,‫ ָאַמ ר ָלּה ְלֵׁש ֶׁשת ָיִמ ים‬,‫ְלַכָּמ ה ָיִמ ים ָּבָר א ַהָּקדֹוׁש ָּברּוְך הּוא ֶאת עֹוָלמֹו‬
‫ ִּבּתֹו‬,‫ ַהָּקדֹוׁש ָּברּוְך הּוא יֹוֵׁש ב ּוְמ ַזֵּוג ִזּוּוִגים‬,‫ ָאַמר ָלּה‬,‫ ָאְמָר ה לֹו ַמ ה הּוא עֹוֶׂש ה ֵמ אֹוָת ּה ָׁשָעה ְוַעד ַעְכָׁש ו‬.‫ַהָּׁש ַמ ִים ְוֶאת ָהָאֶר ץ‬
‫ ַאף ֲא ִני ְיכֹוָלה ַלֲעׂשֹות‬,‫ ְוָד א הּוא ֻאָּמ נּוֵת יּה‬,‫ ָאְמָר ה ֵליּה‬.‫ ָמ מֹונֹו ֶׁש ל ְּפלֹוִני ִלְפלֹוִני‬,‫ ִאְׁש ּתֹו ֶׁש ל ְּפלֹוִני ִלְפלֹוִני‬,‫ֶׁש ל ְּפלֹוִני ִלְפלֹוִני‬
‫ ָקָׁש ה ִהיא ִלְפֵני ַהָּקדֹוׁש‬,‫ ִא ם ַק ָּלה ִהיא ְּבֵעיַנִיְך‬,‫ ָאַמ ר ָלּה‬.‫ ְלָׁשָעה ַק ָּלה ֲא ִני ְיכֹוָלה ְל ַזְּוָגן‬,‫ ַּכָּמ ה ֲעָבִד ים ַּכָּמ ה ְׁש ָפחֹות ֵיׁש ִלי‬,‫ֵּכן‬
‫ ֶמ ה ָעְׂש ָת ה ָנְטָלה ֶאֶלף ֲעָבִד ים ְוֶא ֶלף ְׁש ָפחֹות ְוֶהֱעִמ יָד ה אֹוָת ן‬,‫ ָהַלְך לֹו ַר ִּבי יֹוֵסי ַּבר ֲחַלְפָּת א‬.‫ָּברּוְך הּוא ִּכְקִר יַעת ַים סּוף‬
‫ ְלָמ ָחר ֲאתֹון ְלַגָּבּה ֵּד ין מֹוֵחיּה‬.‫ ְו ִזְּוָגה אֹוָת ן ְּבַלְיָלה ַאַחת‬,‫ ָאְמָר ה ְּפַלן ִיַּסב ִלְפלֹוִנית ּוְפלֹוִנית ִּת ַּסב ִלְפלֹוִני‬,‫ׁשּורֹות ׁשּורֹות‬
‫ ְוֵד ין ֲאַמ ר ֵלית ֲא ָנא ָּבֵעי‬,‫ ָּד א ֲאָמ ָר ה ֵלית ֲא ָנא ָּבֵעי ְלֵד ין‬,‫ ָאְמ ָר ה ְלהֹון ַמ ה ְּלכֹון‬.‫ ֵּד ין ַר ְגֵליּה ְּת ִביָר א‬,‫ ֵּד ין ֵעינֹו ְׁשִמ יָטא‬,‫ְּפִציָעא‬
‫ ֱאֶמ ת ִהיא ּתֹוַר ְת כֹון ָנָאה ּוְמֻׁש ַּבַחת ָיֶפה‬,‫ ָאְמָר ה לֹו ֵלית ֱאלֹוַּה ֶּכֱאָלֲהכֹון‬,‫ ִמ ָּיד ָׁש ְלָחה ְוֵהִביָאה ֶאת ַר ִּבי יֹוֵסי ַּבר ֲחַלְפָּת א‬.‫ְלָד א‬
‫ ַהָּק דֹוׁש ָּברּוְך‬,‫ ִאם ַקָּלה ִהיא ְּבֵעיַנִיְך ָקָׁש ה ִהיא ִלְפֵני ַהָּק דֹוׁש ָּברּוְך הּוא ִּכְקִר יַעת ַים סּוף‬,‫ ָאַמ ר ֹלא ָכְך ָאַמ ְר ִּת י ָלְך‬. ‫ָאַמְר ָּת‬
‫ ֱאֹלִהים מֹוִׁש יב ְיִחיִד ים ַּבְיָת ה מֹוִציא ֲאִסיִר ים‬:‫ ֲהָד א הּוא ִד ְכִת יב‬,‫הּוא ָמ ה עֹוֶׂש ה ָלֶהן ְמ ַזְּוָגן ְּבַעל ָּכְר ָחן ֶׁש ֹלא ְּבטֹוָבָת ן‬
‫ ָאַמר ַר ִּבי ֶּבֶר ְכָיה ַּכָּלׁשֹון ַהֶּזה ֱהִׁש יָבּה‬.‫ ַמ אן ִּד ְבֵעי אֹוֵמ ר ִׁש יָר ה ּוַמ אן ְּד ָלא ְבֵעי ָּבֵכי‬,‫ ְּבִכי ְוִׁשירֹות‬,‫ ַמ הּו ַּבּכֹוָׁש רֹות‬,‫ַּבּכֹוָׁש רֹות‬
‫ ֱהֵוי אֹוֵמ ר‬.‫ ּומֹוִר יד ָלֶזה ּוַמֲעֶלה ָלֶזה‬,‫ ַהָּקדֹוׁש ָּברּוְך הּוא יֹוֵׁש ב ְועֹוֶׂש ה ֻסָּלמֹות ַמ ְׁש ִּפיל ָלֶזה ּוֵמ ִר ים ָלֶזה‬,‫ַר ִּבי יֹוֵסי ַּבר ֲחַלְפָּת א‬
,‫ ִיְצָחק ָּבא ִזּוּוגֹו ֶאְצלֹו‬,‫ ֵיׁש ֶׁש הּוא הֹוֵלְך ֵאֶצל ִזּווגֹו ְוֵיׁש ֶׁש ִּזּוּוגֹו ָּבא ֶאְצלֹו‬,‫ ֱאֹלִהים ֹׁשֵפט ֶזה ַיְׁש ִּפיל ְוֶזה ָיִר ים‬:)‫ ח‬,‫(תהלים עה‬
.‫ ַוֵּיֵצא ַיֲעֹקב ִמ ְּבֵאר ָׁש ַבע‬:‫ ֶׁש ֶּנֱאַמר‬,‫ ַיֲעֹקב ָהַלְך ֵאֶצל ִזּוּוגֹו‬,‫ ַוֵּיֵצא ִיְצָחק ָלׂשּוַח ַּבָּׂש ֶד ה‬:)‫ סג‬,‫ֶׁש ֶּנֱאַמ ר (בראשית כד‬
Rabbi Yehuda bar Simon began: “God settles the individuals in a home” (Psalms 68:7) – a
noblewoman asked Rabbi Yosei bar Ḥalafta, she said to him: ‘In how many days did the Holy
One blessed be He create His world?’' He said to her: ‘In six days, as it is written: “For in six
days the Lord made the heavens and the earth”’ (Exodus 20:11). She said to him: ‘From that time
until now, what has He been doing?’ He said to her: ‘He is sitting and matchmaking; the
daughter of so-and-so to so-and-so, the wife of so-and-so to so-and-so, the property of so-and-so
to so-and-so.' She said to him: ‘That is his vocation. I, too, can do so. I have several slaves and I
have several maidservants and I can make matches between them in a single moment.’ He said to
her: ‘If it appears simple in your eyes, before the Holy One blessed be He, it is as difficult as the
parting of the Red Sea.’ Rabbi Yosei bar Ḥalafta went on his way. What did she do? She took
one thousand slaves and one thousand maidservants and stood them in several lines. She said:
‘So-and so-man shall marry so-and-so woman, and so-and-so woman shall marry so-and-so
man.’ She made matches between them in one night. The next day, they came to her. This one,
his head was wounded, this one, his eye was gouged, this one, his leg was broken. She asked
them ‘What do you want?’ This one said: ‘I do not want that one.’ That one said: ‘I do not want
this one.’ Immediately, she sent and brought Rabbi Yosei bar Ḥalafta. She said to him: ‘There is
no God like your God. Your Torah is True, [it is] fine and praiseworthy, You spoke well.’ He
said to her: ‘Is that not what I said to you? If it appears simple in your eyes, before the Holy One
blessed be He it is as difficult as the parting of the Red Sea.’ What does the Holy One blessed be
He do for them? He matches them against their will, not to their liking, as it is stated: “God
settles the individuals in a home; He liberates prisoners in chains [bakosharot]” (Psalms 68:7).
What is “bakosharot”? It is with weeping [bekhi] and with song [veshirot]. One who is willing,
with song, and one who is unwilling, weeps.
Rabbi Berekhya said: In this language, Rabbi Yosei bar Ḥalafta answered her: ‘The Holy One
blessed be He sits and crafts ladders, and humbles this one and raise that one, lowers this one and
elevates that one.’ As it says: “But it is God who is the Judge; He humbles this one and raises
that one” (Psalms 75:8). There are instances where one goes to his match and there are instances
where one’s match comes to him. Isaac, his match came to him, as it is stated: “Isaac went out
walking in the field…[Behold, he saw camels coming]” (Genesis 24:63). Jacob went to his
match, as it is written: “Jacob departed from Beersheba.”

8. Genesis 1:27

‫ַוִּיְבָ֨ר א ֱא ֹלִ֤ה ים ׀ ֶאת־ָֽהָאָד ֙ם ְּבַצְל֔מ ֹו ְּבֶ֥צֶלם ֱא ֹלִ֖ה ים ָּבָ֣ר א ֹא֑ת ֹו ָזָ֥כר ּוְנֵק ָ֖ב ה ָּבָ֥ר א ֹאָֽתם׃‬
And God created humankind in the divine image,
creating it in the image of God—
creating them male and female.

9. Shabbat 31a:11

?‫ ָנָׂש אָת ְוָנַת ָּת ָּבֱאמּוָנה? ָק ַבְעָּת ִעִּת ים ַלּתֹוָר ה? ָעַסְקָּת ִּבְפִר ָּיה ּוְר ִבָּיה‬:‫ אֹוְמ ִר ים לֹו‬,‫ ְּבָׁשָעה ֶׁש ַּמ ְכִניִסין ָאָד ם ְלִד ין‬:‫ָאַמ ר ָר ָבא‬
.‫ ִא י ָלא — ָלא‬,‫ ִא י ִיְר ַאת ה׳ ִהיא אֹוָצרֹו — ִאין‬,‫ִצִּפיָת ִליׁשּוָעה? ִּפְלַּפְלָּת ְּבׇח ְכָמ ה? ֵהַבְנָּת ָּד ָבר ִמ ּתֹוְך ָּד ָבר? ַוֲאִפיּלּו ָהִכי‬
:‫ ֵעיַר ְבָּת ִלי ָּבֶהן ַק ב חֹוְמ טֹון? ָאַמ ר לֹו‬:‫ ָאַמ ר לֹו‬.‫ ָהַלְך ְוֶהֱעָלה לֹו‬.‫ ַהֲעֵלה ִלי ּכֹור ִחיִּטין ָלֲעִלָּייה‬:‫ָמ ָׁש ל ְלָאָד ם ֶׁש ָאַמ ר ִלְׁש לּוחֹו‬
.‫ מּוָטב ִא ם ֹלא ֶהֱעֵליָת ה‬:‫ ָאַמ ר לֹו‬.‫ָלאו‬
With regard to the same verse, Rava said: After departing from this world, when a person is
brought to judgment for the life he lived in this world, they say to him in the order of that
verse: Did you conduct business faithfully? Did you designate times for Torah study? Did
you engage in procreation? Did you await salvation? Did you engage in the dialectics of
wisdom or understand one matter from another? And, nevertheless, beyond all these, if the
fear of the Lord is his treasure, yes, he is worthy, and if not, no, none of these
accomplishments have any value. There is a parable that illustrates this. A person who said to
his emissary: Bring a kor of wheat up to the attic for me to store there. The messenger went
and brought it up for him. He said to the emissary: Did you mix a kav of ḥomton, a
preservative to keep away worms, into it for me? He said to him: No. He said to him: If so, it
would have been preferable had you not brought it up. Of what use is worm-infested wheat?
Likewise, Torah and mitzvot without the fear of God are of no value.

10. Bava Kamma 92a:15

‫ הּוא‬,‫ ׇּכ ל ַהְמ ַבֵּקׁש ַר ֲחִמ ים ַעל ֲחֵבירֹו ְוהּוא ָצִר יְך ְלאֹותֹו ָּד ָבר‬:‫ ְמ ַָנא ָהא ִמ יְּלָת א ַד ֲאמּור ַר ָּבַנן‬:‫ֲאַמר ֵליּה ָר ָבא ְלַר ָּבה ַּבר ָמ ִר י‬
.‫ ״ַוה׳ ָׁש ב ֶאת ְׁש בּות ִא ּיֹוב ְּבִהְת ַּפְללֹו ְּבַעד ֵר ֵעהּו״‬:‫ ִּד ְכִת יב‬:‫ַנֲעֶנה ְּת ִחיָּלה? ֲאַמר ֵליּה‬
§ The Gemara cites a series of questions that Rava asked Rabba bar Mari, the first one being
related to the previous topic of discussion. Rava said to Rabba bar Mari: From where is this
matter derived whereby the Sages stated: Anyone who asks for compassion from Heaven on
behalf of another, and he requires compassion from Heaven concerning that same matter, he
is answered first? Rabba bar Mari said to him that the source for this is as it is written: “And
the Lord changed the fortune of Job, when he prayed for his friends” (Job 42:10).