Tips for Leading a Family Retreat

With Sample Schedule and Prayer Models

We've done these retreats, with 3-5 kids ranging from 1-11. About every other year it's been a different

mix.

We've done this as a stay at home retreat and when away in the mountains. We particularly like doing a

2 day retreat because it seems to work well with tempo. We have time to linger, and we have a clear

"start" and "finish" day.

Our way of doing things is to be "modular" in planning. We have a set of things we'll do, but they are

flexibly implemented. Or, we may have some things we always do at set times, and others that may be

long or short, included or dropped.

Philosophically, some key things drive our atmosphere. We believe in family retreat, not setting

something up for kids, but something we are all engaging. We are also all about invitation. The kids are

free to engage or disengage prayer times as they like. If they do so they play quietly in another space, or

maybe go outside. For the under 3 kids this is of course not totally possible, but we find ways for them

to be in and out without it being chaos. And when they need us to disengage, we can hit the pause

button on prayer and come back after a situation is settled.

We also have some times for us all together, some times for mom and dad, and some times for personal

quiet space. In between we are just together having fun with whatever your family enjoys.

Regarding content, our family bedrock is daily morning and evening prayer, and Sabbath day which we

take on Mondays. Often our retreats will include a Sabbath day. We use a family customized version of

the daily office from the Book of Common Prayer that takes 20-30 minutes. The core components are

centering on God's presence, time in the scripture with reflection, prayer, and worship. This remains our
daily start and finish during retreat days.

Components that we almost always include in a retreat day are:

Family discussion. We talk a good deal about what's happening in life and dreams/frustrations we are

all experiencing. This is a safe zone to talk about anything, and sometimes past hidden sins will surface

in this safe place to be publicly set before the Lord without fear of punishment. We highly value each of

us being heard. We also love to walk out an earthy spirituality, embracing who we are and what's

happening in life, not going in and out of "spiritual" modes for prayer. And getting into each person's

dreams is quite powerful... this draws them into the heart of God in powerful ways. This will usually take

1-2 hours.

Listening prayer. Much like Nicole described, we will practice inquiring of the Lord, listening, and

sharing. Over the years we learned how to make things concrete and accessible to the various ages. We

will often make plans as a family based on what the Lord is speaking to us. We just did a 2 day retreat on

New Year's Eve and New Years day. We have implemented a big change in school, made a significant

change in my/Amber's relational dynamic, and focused on corporately growing in dance because those 3

things are what the Lord highlighted on those days. This will usually take 1-3 hours, depending on the

tone of the retreat.

Affirmations. We do this every Sabbath day, and we include it in every retreat. We have a time for the

family to affirm/appreciate each family member. We light a candle, turn down the lights (we usually do

it at night), and speak the affirmations over the candle holder before passing it to the next person. The

next eldest family member closes each time with a blessing over another. Since I'm the old one, the

littlest one gets to bless me! This usually takes about 30 minutes.
Dance/Worship time. We'll just put on some music - not always worship proper - and dance or sit or

sing before the Lord. It's a freestyle time. This usually takes about an hour.

Fun and games. We do all kinds of things from board games to playing with any toy in the arsenal to fort

building to outdoor activities. It's definitely key to break up the day with chill time, both to process

what's going on in prayer times and not to get overloaded. A note is I do this on my private retreats as

well, it's super important. We do this for several hours a day, filling in all the gaps where we aren't

actively engaged in a family activity. The kids also carry on if us adults are having a time to pray.

Nap time. Oh, the glorious nap time. Everyone embraces it on the retreats even though naps aren't

always the most popular thing in normal life. It does a lot to keep up our energy and focus. I also

admonish the marrieds to find some time to enjoy one another as lovers. Learned that one from Jewish

traditions. We practice this most Sabbaths as life allows. It does wonders to attune us to God's presence

and set him as the center, and opens doors for trust filled marital, family and heavenly intimacy. This

usually takes 1-2 hours.

Intercession. This varies greatly depending on the focus of the retreat. Our retreats are usually about

slowing down and listening, so intercession is toned down. We further use models of prayer that are

much more about worship, praise, thanks, listening, etc. Most of the intercessory time is more about

petitioning God to hold our hand as we set out to walk out his directions. We also often pray for one

another. This isn't usually a module of the day, it more fits in where appropriate. Still, it's always there

are a part of the ongoing dialogue with the Lord.

For structuring these times, we have a long list of ways we like to do prayer. Often the kids lead the

times of prayer, and we are always inventing new ways to pray. Favorites are Lego prayer, dice prayer,

drawing/painting, praying in rooms, charades praise, topical thanks, maps, and more.
Last, here is an outline of a typical day 1 of the retreat. Day 2 would be similar, the main difference is

what activities we are doing. We usually start and end on thanks and worship notes, heavy listening in

the middle.

Family Retreat Schedule

8:00 Breakfast
8:30 Morning Prayer
9:00 Discussion Time
9:30
Prayer Activities, one or many
10:00
10:30
Outdoor Activity
11:00
or other fun
11:30
12:00
Lunch
12:30
1:00
Nap Time
1:30
(3-4 Mom and dad alone time,
2:00 private prayer)
2:30
3:00
3:30 Prayer Activities, one or many
4:00
4:30 Debrief
5:00 Fun time
5:30
Dinner
6:00
6:30 Affirmations
7:00 Quiet fun time
7:30 (mom and dad prayer)
8:00 evening prayer
8:30 Kids Bed Time
9:00 Adult/older kids relax
9:30 or followup time
 Involving Families in Prayer
All of these are useful for “adult” prayer times. Family friendly models are universally accessible!

Pray over a map

 Wall or floor maps are great, the bigger the better
 Variation to write prayers on sticky notes and place them on or around the map
 Can also draw outlines of maps on butcher paper and allow people to write or draw pictures
directly onto the map, do other tactile acts of prayer
Wave banners
 Speak a blessing/prayer over banners, then using them as a symbolic waving of that prayer
 Fun to use various colors and correlate the color to the blessing/prayer
 Could wave them over maps, people, or during worship
Sing and dance
 Emphasize freedom of voice and movement, to do as one prefers
 Emphasize that these movements in themselves can be ways to pray, prayer and worship are
intimately linked and blend naturally
 Perhaps talk about using different tempos for different prayer styles, some are best for
individual prayer, some for group prayer, for specific prayer topics, etc.
Write a poem and pray it out
 Can use many forms of poetry, even assigning short things like a haiku for a group to create and
pray out can work well with a sharing time at the end to “pray through” over certain topics
 Countless ways to utilize this in personal and group experiences, has a real power to bring forth
the creative side of people and release passionate prayers
Give specific prayer assignments for flurry prayer
 The entire group prays out loud together at the same time, this has many names with perhaps
the most common title being “Korean prayer”
 specific direction very helpful for kids and adults, lead this in short targeted bursts
Prayer of Examen
 Can be done in simple ways with a group, important to emphasize the listening component and
then leading into group expressions of prayer
Keep prayer journal
 Largely a personal thing, but also great to have group prayer journals at events
 Useful to do a “two-way” journal where listening is recorded after personal entry, want toward
a dynamic conversation with God
Compile prayer notes and share
 Gather notes from a prayer gathering and find a way to distribute them, this is great at
generating more prayer, discerning things God is saying, and giving something for continued
post event prayer
Thankfulness activity, scrapbook, journal, collage etc.
 Use magazines and craft materials to find or create images representing points of thankfulness,
petition, etc. use those for events or as an ongoing tool in the home/prayer room
Make prayer collages
 Same as above using magazines or pictures
 Digital projects are great for computer backgrounds, such as weekly meditations and a
background image that represents that focus
 This is particularly useful for “big picture” prayer foci
Draw pictures
 for any kind of prayer expression, to creatively put it down on paper, wonderful to use for
ongoing prayers and remind kids of things to pray for, also significant medium for the visually
oriented prayers to express themselves
Prayer walk in city or nature
 can simply be movement while praying, kids are often very engaged despite the surroundings
 have very open environment of “inspiration”, let anything be an idea generator for praying
 can be used far more extensively when an area is well researched and you know key sites,
streets, etc.
 if you can get into nature, it’s a great to especially focus on the attributes of God and practice
listening, stations of a sort are useful for this, with older kids good to disperse in smaller groups
and let them pray freely in a designated boundary
Pray a scripture
 Key point is limiting them to pray within the focus of the verse, depending on age
ABC prayers
 Take turns praying over something that starts with each letter of the alphabet, Start with “A”
and move on to next letter for the next prayer. Great for popcorn prayer
Write a letter to Jesus
 Excellent for personal use and to do it as someone from a host people or friend
Draw circles
 This is a great thing for blessing/removing. Jump in and out of a circle to add or take away things
from a situation
 alternate is to form up in the outline of a country or region and face all outward or all inward for
same prayers
 good to do over a sick person, particularly if you want the kids not making contact!
Wall of bricks
 use for just about anything, great one is praise, you write a name or praise of god on an index
card and then start building a wall of prayer, brick by brick
Wall of prayer
 use butcher paper to cover an entire wall and use it for writing prayers, can be developed over
time or used for a specific prayer time
Prayer Dice
 have a paper cube with a prayer focus written on each side, roll the cube and pray over
whatever is face up
 great example is social groups – moms, dads, kids, poor people, rulers, etc.
Power prayer for short times like 1-5 minutes with timer
 have a set time and everyone tries to cram as much prayer into that time as possible, rotate
topics and emphasize that we want to get all the pray out that we can over a topic, this one can
be great fun and effectively teaches the value of praying simply
Times to only praise/bless
 Set a parameter to only praise, or only bless, helpful in exposing to different forms of prayer and
not just petition, emphasizes our authority in Jesus
Makeup a song and play or drum if possible
 creative lyrics or phrases and put it to a beat, even have partners help eachother, and repeat the
melodic prayer over the people, nation, etc.
Do some kind of rotation through stances of prayer, physically moving your body
 Pray the 7 Hebrew meanings/positions of praise
 Do Salat or variation
 Positions like prostrate, laying down, bended knees, hands folded, eyes closed, eyes open,
standing, walking, holding hands, etc.
Keys and a door
 making statements using the “keys” we are given, and unlock or lock the door accordingly, this is
best done as a declaration or expression coming out of listening prayer
Scavenger hunt for prayer papers/objects
 could be people, prayer points, people groups, etc. Hide papers in the prayer space and people
go out looking for them, then pray when they find them
Pray a color
 Everything you can imagine that color give thanks, can be fun for thematic prayers
 Variations can be textures, temperatures, sizes – endless possibilities with this one
Use sounds instead of words
 Encourage them to do any sound they can imagine as a prayer
 Examples: crying for injustice, whooping for victory, all manner of war sounds for spiritual
warfare, gasps for awe at god, etc.
 Variation is to play a sound as an idea starter for prayer
Build a house of prayer
 Use popsicles or other wood or paper and write prayers on it, glue things together to construct
the house of prayer, can be a simple design or more detailed if you have a project manager
 Can use this at an event when superglue is present, other adhesives take a while and will usually
need several days to complete a project, the key is to have this well planned out
Prayer quilt
 For an event have sections prepared, or have people bring fabric that can be used for the quilt
 this one takes careful planning for an event and/or a group that enjoys quilting, generally this
one is best done with a small group over time
Praying with food
 Use symbolic meaning like bread hunger for Jesus, sweets for God is good, etc. great if you can
use significant or ethnic food for people groups or friends
 As a family discipline, fasting instead of eating these things is an effective way to train in prayer
and have fasting that is accessible to kids
Praying through the senses
 This is an excellent way to open up creative new avenues of prayer!
 Engage all of the sense, one at a time. Good to prepare some props such as images, various
fabrics, things that make sound easily, strong smelling items, sweets, etc.
Paper prayer chain
 Use as a blessing tool or a breaking exercise, one strung up to stay another to be torn apart
 For blessings write down the blessings/prayers and build the chain, for curses write down things
to be removed and tear the links apart
 Variation if linking two locations, such as adopting a region by a community, use a map or
country outlines and create a link with the chain
Prayer Requests/prayers of encouragement
 These can be written by people present or collected from whoever is being prayed for
 Mix them all up and the pass them out with small groups praying over whatever they receive,
then write short notes of encouragement to the person/situation being prayed for
 Physically send them to individuals local fellowships to encourage them
Pray in random weird spots
 No spot is too weird! Fun way to teach a lifestyle of unceasing prayer
 Can pray over objects in that spot or over things that happen in that space
 Variation to think up places important to host culture and go to those spots physically if possible
or symbolically, most spaces can be recreated with props and used as a station
Musical chairs prayer
 Play the normal game and when each person is out they say a prayer
 Variation to the game like normal except there are prayers sitting on or taped to each chair, as
you are “out” you lead out in praying the thing on your seat
 Can be good to allow others to join in on each topic prayed over
Research and prayer
 Have child do some research on s specific social reality or people, and pray out of what is
learned, excellent way to teach a marriage of mind and heart in prayer
Use starter prayers
 Have some kind of short phrase that is the beginning of a pray, eg. “Lord, I bless X with…” then
let the kids fill in the rest
 good for little ones and can cycle through various phrases for variety and focused engagement
Balloon prayer
 write praise on balloon and say it every time you hit that balloon up, close with a fun balloon
popping amen
 variation can be putting pieces of paper with prayers inside the balloons and popping them,
then praying
Ball prayer
 Have a prayer topic, a person prays and then tosses the ball to the next person, that person
prays before passing it on, great way to get the introverts speaking out loud
Weapon prayer, swords, guns etc.
 Great for “battle” oriented prayer or prayer for breakthrough, best if done with good
preparation and clear boundaries so kids don’t wander into arenas of prayer to invite demonic
retaliation on them or a gathering – but God can lead them along much surer than most adults!
Lego Prayer
 Setup Circles and build trash/presents like the activity mentioned above, praying over people,
encircling a nation, etc.
 Good guys and bad guys, using them and moving around or knocking them down for opposite
spirit, endless ways to use minifigures
 Use it like any artistic expressions of prayer, anything can be built, acts recreated
 Can use for individual prayer build or groups, fun to have a team build a prayer together
 Build a tower of prayer, have people say a prayer and then place a Lego on a flat plate, as each
person prays they add another brick, fun to have several groups praying/building and see who
ends up with the tallest tower
Use or create liturgies of prayer for repeat activities of the day
 Home or group use is good, if there are key verses place these at dining and snack locations,
bathrooms, entry ways, etc. and ask everyone to pray a quick prayer whenever they visit
 Can be more involved letting the group help craft the posted prayers, or some short liturgy they
can use at the start of every meeting
 Can be very useful in bringing understanding between different streams of faith
Make a family daily prayer
 Same as liturgy idea but useful for home/family prayer times
 If families/teams are praying together at a gathering, can be neat to have time for them to start
building up a daily family prayer if they don’t have one already
Prayer place mats
 Similar to a collage, but laminate the final product and use it as a place mat to encourage
ongoing prayer, maybe use them sometimes as prayer starters
Just about any prophetic act
 More or less anything can be done, so long as it’s safe and legal, the key idea is to do some sort
of symbolic act as a prayer
 Examples are pouring out perfume, constructing and breaking things, doing things with your
body, walking to certain places, eating a certain meal, swinging a sword, etc.
 Great to create a physical act for things being sensed or shared in prayer
Stations of the cross
 Great to do this as stations around a room
 Can prepare specific prayers from event topic that are relevant to the station
 Variation to have a living station at the front of the space where drama team acts out that
specific moment of the passion, then the group can pray as small groups, mic, etc.
Dress up as someone/Use Props
 This can include friends, people group representatives, biblical characters, etc.
 Dressing up in a mantle someone has heard from the Lord, so if someone says “a spirit of david”
over someone they can dress up as David, or if someone will be a “deliverer” maybe hold a staff
like Moses, many more to choose from!
 Note to be careful with known friends, protect against slander and joking
 Variation to make a paper mask for the sake of “standing in”
 Can become a drama to live out a prayer over a people
Look at faces of friends or people group and pray over them
 Place faces of a people on printouts or PP slide, choose them as is relevant to the prayer topic,
of it’s a broad topic such as a people group or town, select a variety of individuals, pray over
these faces as they are shared with the group
 Variation to have someone stand in for the face so people are able to pray with a laying on of
hands, best to select a similar person in gender, age, etc.
Charades Praise
 Take turns acting like an animal while the group guesses. Once the animal is guessed praise God
for anything that comes to mind because of the animal
 Can also act out other objects, though guessing is much tougher so you need the person to
share what they are before too much time passes
Frogger Thanksgiving
 Everyone assumes a four legged frog position. A leader then points to one or more of the “frog”
and that person must leap and say something they are thankful for. If it last more than a short
time, rotate the facilitator
Pin the Tail on the Donkey prayer
 Play the classic game of a donkey on the wall, blindfolding a person and placing the tail on the
wall. Divide up the donkey into various prayer points, including the area outside the donkey.
Whatever they land on, they pray for that topic
Prayer Tree
 Have a physical or paper tree with branches on a table wall. Below the tree have paper leave
people can write prayer requests on. Whenever God responds to that prayer, hang the leaf on
the tree. A great visual for celebrating God’s interaction with our prayer
Denarii and Sheep Prayer
 Hide paper or toy coins and/or sheep throughout a room. Read the parable of the lost coin and
lost sheep, then send people to find the items. When they find one, have them give thanks and
praise to the Lord
 Variation, write a prayer request on one side of the coin and a testimony on the other. Have the
group celebrate the testimony and pray into something