CHAPTER THREE

SOME OF THE YORUBA CULTURE BEFORE MARRIAGE

3.1 Meaning of Yoruba Culture

Culture is the characteristics and knowledge of a particular group of people,

encompassing language, religion, cuisine, social habits, music and arts. Thus, it can be

seen as the growth of a group identity fostered by social patterns unique to the group.

Yoruba have been traditionally among the most skilled and productive craftsmen of

Africa, Yoruba worked at such trades as blacksmithing, weaving, leatherworking,

glassmaking, and ivory and wood carving.2020

However, an individual is described as “a highly cultured person”, meaning thereby that

the person in question has certain quality's such as his speech, manner, and taste for

literature, music or painting which distinguish him from others people. Culture, in this

sense, refers to certain personal characteristics of a individual. However, this is not the

sense in which the word culture is used and understood in social sciences.21

Sometimes culture is used in popular discussion to refer to a celebration or an evening of

entertainment, as when one speaks of a ‘cultural show’. In this case, culture is identified

with aesthetics or the fine arts such as music or drama, dance. This is also different from

the technical meaning of the word culture.

Culture is used in a special sense in anthropology and sociology. These refers to the sum

of human beings’ life ways, their behaviour, beliefs, feelings, thought; it connotes

everything that is acquired by them as social beings.22

Culture has been defined in number of ways. There is no consensus among sociologists

and anthropologists regarding the definition of culture. The most common one of the

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comprehensive definitions of the term culture was provided by the British anthropologist

Edward Tylor. He defined culture as ” that complex whole which includes belief , law,

morals, knowledge, art, custom and any other capabilities and habits acquired by man as

a member of society's”.

These are writers who add to the definitions of culture, some of the important” other

capabilities and habits” such as language and the techniques for making and using tools.

Culture includes all learned, normative behaviour patterns that are all shared ways or

patterns of thinking and feeling as well as doing.23

Some of the thinkers that are include in non-material parts of culture. For instance,

(Sutherland and Wood word say, “If culture exists only where there is communication

then the content of culture can be ideas or symbol patterns. Culture is then an immaterial

phenomenon only, a matter of thoughts and meanings and habits and not of visible and

touchable material things or objects”).

The “materials element that are made and used in accordance's with socially inherited

tradition” should be called culture objects. Others include in culture all the major social

components that bind human being together in the society. For instance, the British

anthropologist Malinowski included ‘inherited, artifacts, implements and consumer

goods’ and ‘social structure’ within his definition of culture.24

Cooley, Argell and Car say,

“The entire accumulation of artificial objects, conditions, tools, techniques, ideas,

symbols and behaviour patterns peculiar to a group of people, possessing a certain

consistency of its own, and capable of transmission from one generation to another.”25

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Some of the other important definitions of culture are as follows. “Culture is the

expression of our nature in our modes of living and our thinking.

"Culture is the Intercourse in our literature, in religion, in recreation and enjoyment",

says Maclver.

E.A. Hoebel,

“Culture is the sum total of integrated learned behaviour patterns which are

characteristics of the members of a society and which are therefore not the result of

biological inheritance.”26

“Culture is the complex of the whole that consists of everything we think and do and have

as members of society”, says Bierstedt.

“Culture is the total content of the physio-social, bio-social and psycho-social universe

man has produced and socially created mechanisms through which these social product

operate”, According to Anderson and Parker.

Mlinowlski defines culture” as the handiwork of man and the medium through which he

achieves his ends.

According to H.T. Mazumadar,

“culture is the sum total of human achievements, material as well as non-material,

capable of transmission, sociologically, i.e., by tradition and communication, vertically

as well as horizontally”.27

Accumulating several definitions from authors, we may define culture as the sum-total of

human achievements or the total heritage of man which can be transmitted to men by

communication and tradition. It is a way of life of the people in a certain geographical

area. Life style and social pattern of a society being the direct consequence of the

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 combined heritage of ages past distinguish and differentiate one geographical area from

one another.

Culture is spiritual discipline, intellectual and moral for advancement, in accordance with

the norms and values based on accumulated heritage. It is drinking and making our own,

the life style and social pattern of the group one belongs to. Culture can also be said as a

system of learned behavior shared by a group and transmitted among the members of the

group.

Culture is a collective heritage inherit by individuals and passed from one generation to

another. The individual receives culture as part of social heritage and may reshape the

culture and introduce changes in turn, which then become part of the heritage of

succeeding generations.28

3.1.0 Characteristics of Culture:

From various definition, we can deduce the following characteristics as followed:

1. Learned Behaviour: Not all behavior is learned, but most of it is learned; combing one’s

heir, telling jokes, criticizing the President, standing in line and going to the movie, all

constitute behaviours which had to be learned. Most times the terms unconscious learning

and conscious learning are used to distinguish the learning. For example, the ways in

which a child learns to handle a rejecting mother or tyrannical father often affect the

ways in which that child, eleven or seventeen years later, handles his relationships with

other people.

Sociology Of Culture

Some behaviour is obvious people can be seen going to driving automobiles, eating with

forks, or football games, such behaviour is called “overt” behaviour. Other behaviour is

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 less visible. Such activities as planning tomorrow’s work (or) feeling hatred for an

enemy, are behaviours too. This such of behaviour, which is not openly visible to other

people, is called Covert behaviour. Both may be, of course, learned.

2. Culture is Abstract: Culture exists in the minds or habits of the members of society.

Culture is the shared ways of doing and thinking. These are degrees of visibility of

cultural behaviour, ranging from the regularized activities of persons to their internal

reasons for so doing. In other words, we cannot see culture as such we can only see

human behaviour. These behaviours occur in regular patterned fashion and it is called

culture.

3. Culture is a Pattern of Learned Behaviour: The definition of culture indicated that the

learned behaviour of people is patterned, each person behaviours often depends upon

some particular behaviours of someone else. The point is that, as a general rule,

behaviours are somehow integrated or organized with related behaviours of other

persons.

4. Culture is the Products of Behaviour: Culture learnings are the products of behaviour.

As the person behaves, there occur changes in him. He acquires the ability to swim, to

feel hatred toward someone, or to sympathize with someone. They have grown out of his

previous behaviours. In both ways, then, human behaviour is the result of behaviour. The

experience of other people are impressed on one as he grows up, and also many of his

traits and abilities have grown out of his own past behaviours.

5. Culture includes Attitudes, Values Knowledge: There is widespread error in the

thinking of many people who tend to regard the ideas, attitudes, and notions which they

have as “their own”. It is easy to overestimate the uniqueness of one’s own attitudes and

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 ideas. When there is agreement with other people it is largely unnoticed, but when there

is a disagreement or difference one is usually conscious of it. Your differences however,

may also be cultural. For example, suppose you are a Catholic and the other person a

Protestant.

6. Culture also includes Material Objects: Man’s behaviour results in creating objects.

Men were behaving when they made these things. To make these objects required

numerous and various skills which human beings gradually built up through the ages.

Man has invented something else and so on. Occasionally one encounters the view that

man does not really “make” steel or a battleship. All these things first existed in a “state

nature”. Man merely modified their form, changed them from a state in which they were

to the state in which he now uses them. The chair was first a tree which man surely did

not make. But the chair is more than trees and the jet airplane is more than iron ore and so

forth.

7. Culture is shared by the Members of Society: The patterns of learned behaviour and

the results of behaviour are possessed not by one or a few person, but usually by a large

proportion. Thus, many millions of persons share such behaviour patterns as Christianity,

the use of automobiles, or the English language. Sometimes the people share different

aspects of culture. For example, among the Christians, there are – Catholic and

Protestant, liberal or conservation, as clergymen or as laymen. The point to our

discussion is not that culture or any part of it is shred identically, but that it is shared by

the members of society to a sufficient extent.

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8. Culture is Super-organic: Culture is sometimes called super organic. It implies that

“culture” is somehow superior to “nature”. The word super-organic is useful when it

implies that what may be quite a different phenomenon from a cultural point of view.

9. Culture is Pervasive: Culture is pervasive it touches every aspect of life. The

pervasiveness of culture is manifest in two ways. First, culture provides an unquestioned

context within which individual action and response take place. Not only emotional

action but relational actions are governed by cultural norms. Second, culture pervades

social activities and institutions. According to Ruth Benedict, “A culture, like an

individual is a more or less consistent pattern of thought and action. With each culture

there come into being characteristic purposes not necessarily shared by other types of

society. In obedience to these purposes, each person further consolidates its experience

and in proportion to the urgency of these drives the heterogeneous items of behaviour;

take more and more congruous shape”.

10. Culture is a way of Life: Culture means simply the “way of life” of a people or their

“design for living.” Kluckhohn and Kelly define it in his sense, ” A culture is a

historically derived system of explicit and implicit designs for living, which tends to be

shared by all or specially designed members of a group.” Explicit culture refers to

similarities in word and action which can be directly observed. For example, the

adolescent cultural behaviour can be generalized from regularities in dress, mannerism

and conversation. Implicit culture exists in abstract forms which are not quite obvious.

11. Culture is a human Product: Culture is not a force, operating by itself and independent

of the human actors. There is an unconscious tendency to defy culture, to endow it with

life and treat it as a thing. Culture is a creation of society in interaction and depends for

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 its existence upon the continuance of society. In a strict sense, therefore, culture does not

‘do’ anything on its own. It does not cause the individual to act in a particular way, nor

does it ‘make’ the normal individual into a maladjusted one. Culture, in short, is a human

product; it is not independently endowed with life.

12. Culture is Idealistic: Culture embodies the ideas and norms of a group. It is sum-total of

the ideal patterns and norms of behaviour of a group. Culture consists of the intellectual,

artistic and social ideals and institutions which the members of the society profess and to

which they strive to confirm.

13. Culture is transmitted among members of Society: The cultural ways are learned by

persons from persons. Many of them are “handed down” by one’s elders, by parents,

teachers, and others [of a somewhat older generation]. Other cultural behaviours are

“handed up” to elders. Some of the transmission of culture is among contemporaries.

14. Culture is Continually Changing: There is one fundamental and inescapable attribute

(special quality) of culture, the fact of unending change. Some societies at sometimes

change slowly, and hence in comparison to other societies seem not to be changing at all.

But they are changing, even though not obviously so.

15. Culture is Variable: Culture varies from society to society, group to group. Hence, we

say culture of India or England. Further culture varies from group to group within the

same society. There are subcultures within a culture. Cluster of patterns which are both

related to general culture of the society and yet distinguishable from it are called

subcultures.

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 16. Culture is an integrated system: Culture possesses an order and system. Its various

parts are integrated with each other and any new element which is introduced is also

integrated.

17. Language is the Chief Vehicle of Culture: Man lives not only in the present but also in

the past and future. He is able to do this because he possesses language which transmits

to him what was learned in the past and enables him to transmit the accumulated wisdom

to the next generation. A specialised language pattern serves as a common bond to the

members of a particular group or subculture. Although culture is transmitted in a variety

of ways, language is one of the most important vehicles for perpetuating cultural patterns.

To conclude culture is everything which is socially learned and shared by the members of

a society. It is culture that, in the wide focus of the world, distinguishes individual from

individual, group from group and society.29

3.1.1 FUNCTIONS OF CULTURE

Among all groups of people we find widely shared beliefs, norms, values and

preferences. Since culture seems to be universal human phenomenon, it occurs naturally

to wonder whether culture corresponds to any universal human needs. This curiosity

raises the question of the functions of culture. Social scientists have discussed various

functions of culture. Culture has certain functions for both individual and society.

Following are some of the important functions of culture:30

1. Culture Defines Situations: Each culture has many subtle cues which define each

situation. It reveals whether one should prepare to fight, run, laugh or make love. For

example, suppose someone approaches you with right hand outstretched at waist level.

What does this mean? That he wishes to shake hands in friendly greeting is perfectly

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 obvious – obvious, that is to anyone familiar with our culture. But in another place or

time the outstretched hand might mean hostility or warning. One does not know what to

do in a situation until he has defined the situation. Each society has its insults and

fighting words. The cues (hints) which define situations appear in infinite variety. A

person who moves from one society into another will spend many years misreading the

cues. For example, laughing at the wrong places.

2. Culture defines Attitudes, Values and Goals: Each person learns in his culture what is

good, true, and beautiful. Attitudes, values and goals are defined by the culture. While the

individual normally learns them as unconsciously as he learns the language. Attitude are

tendencies to feel and act in certain ways. Values are measures of goodness or

desirability, for example, we value private property, (representative) Government and

many other things and experience. Goals are those attainments which our values define as

worthy, (e.g.) winning the race, gaining the affections of a particular girl, or becoming

president of the firm. By approving certain goals and ridiculing others, the culture

channels individual ambitions. In these ways culture determines the goals of life.

3. Culture defines Myths, Legends, and the Supernatural: Myths and legends are

important part of every culture. They may inspire, reinforce effort and sacrifice and bring

comfort in bereavement. Whether they are true is sociologically unimportant. Ghosts are

real to people who believe in them and who act upon this belief. We cannot understand

the behaviour of any group without knowing something of the myths, legends, and

supernatural beliefs they hold. Myths and legends are powerful forces in a group’s

behaviour. Culture also provides the individual with a ready-made view of the universe.

The nature of divine power and the important moral issues are defined by the culture. The

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 individual does not have to select, but is trained in a Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim

or some other religious tradition. This tradition gives answers for the major (things

imponderable) of life, and fortuities the individual to meet life’s crises.

4. Culture provides Behaviour Patterns: The individual need not go through painful trial

and error learning to know what foods can be eaten (without poisoning himself), or how

to live among people without fear. He finds a ready-made set of patterns awaiting him

which he needs only to learn and follow. The culture maps out the path to matrimony.

The individual does not have to wonder how one secures a mate; he knows the procedure

defined by his [Link] relationship between society, culture and personality is

stressed by Ralph Linton: “A society is organized group of individuals. A culture is an

organised group of learned responses. The individual is living organism capable of

independent thought, feeling and action, but with his independence limited and all his

resources profoundly modified by contact with the society and culture in which he

develops.

3.1.2 Society and Culture

The relationship between society, culture and personality is stressed by Ralph Linton: “A

society is organized group of individuals. A culture is an organised group of learned

responses. The individual is living organism capable of independent thought, feeling and

action, but with his independence limited and all his resources profoundly modified by

contact with the society and culture in which he develops.

A society cannot exist apart from culture. A Society is always made of persons and their

groupings. People carry and transmit culture, but they are not culture. No culture can

exists except as it is embodied in a society of man; no society can operate without,

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 cultural directives. Like matter and energy, like mind and body, they are interdependent

and interacting yet express different aspects of the human situation.31

One must always keep in mind the interdependence and the reciprocal relationship

between culture and society. Each is distinguishable concept in which the patterning and

organization of the whole is more important than any of the component parts.

In Yoruba land, one of the most important traditions observed is ‘orúkoàmútọ̀runwá’ the

naming of a newly born child. Names are given to children by their parents, grandparents

(paternal and maternal) and some other close relatives. A typical Yoruba child can bear

as many as 16 different names. The circumstance surrounding the child’s birth also plays

a significant role to the naming of the child. For instance, a female child born after the

death of her grandmother is called Yetunde – meaning ‘mother has come again’.

The institution of marriage is also a very big deal for the Yoruba people, because it is

considered to be a union of not only the husband and wife but of both families and

extended families. When a young man and woman meet, they fall in love and both decide

whether they’d spend the rest of their lives together. If yes, they let their parents know.

The man’s parents arrange to meet with the bride’s parents for an introduction. After the

approval from her parents, they ask the man and his family to provide certain items to

pay off her bride price.

3.2 Concept of Marriage in Yorubaland

3.2.0 Marriage in Yoruba Culture

The child that is named will grow to adulthood. The Yoruba culture provides for the

upbringing of the child by the extended family. In traditional society, the child is placed

with a master of whatever craft the gods specify for him or her(although, this rarely

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happens nowadays). Or he may take to the profession of the father, in the case of a boy,

or the mother, in the case of a girl. The parents have the responsibility for his/her

socialization into the norms of the larger society, in addition to giving him a means of

livelihood. His or her wedding is also the responsibility of the parents.32

The wedding ceremony is the climax of a process that starts with courtship. The young

man identifies a young woman that he loves. He and his friends seek her out through

various means. The young man sends messages of interest to the young woman until such

a time that they are close enough to avoid a go-between (alarina). Then once they both

express mutual love, they let their parents know about their feelings for each other. The

man's parents arrange to pay a visit to the prospective bride's parents. Once their consent

is secured, the wedding day may be set. Prior to the wedding day, the payment of bride

price is arranged. This secures the final consent of the bride's parents, and the wedding

day is fixed. Once the day has been fixed through either consultation of the Orishas by a

babalawo (in the case of followers of the Yoruba religion) or the decision of a man of

God (in the case of the Muslims or Christians), the bride and bridegroom are warned to

avoid travelling out of town, including to the farm. This is to prevent any mishap. The

wedding day is a day of celebration, eating, drinking and dancing for parents, relations,

the new husband and wife and their friends and, often, even foes. Marriage is not

considered to be only a union of the husband and wife, it is also seen among the Yoruba

as the union of the families on both sides. But before the bride goes to her husband's

house, she is escorted by different people i.e. family and friends to the door step of her

new home in a ritual called Ekun Iyawo.33

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A Yoruba bride hugs her mother on her traditional wedding day. This is a farewell hug

from mother to daughter meaning 'The cry of the new bride', this is to show that she is

sad leaving her parents' home and signify her presence in the new home. There she is

prayed for and her legs are washed. It is believed that she is washing every bad-luck that

she might have brought into her husband's house away. Before she is finally ushered into

her house, if she is an adherent of the Yoruba faith, she is given a calabash (igba) and is

then asked to break it. When it breaks, the number of pieces it is broken into is believed

to be the number of children she will give birth to. On the wedding night she and her

husband have their first meeting and he is ordinarily expected to find her to be a virgin. If

he doesn't, she and her parents are disgraced and may be banished from the village where

they live.

While this is the only marital ceremony that is practiced by the more traditional members

of the tribe, Muslim and Christian members generally blend it with a nikkah and registry

wedding (in the case of Muslims) or a church wedding and registry wedding (in the case

of Christians). In their communities, the Yoruba ceremony described above is commonly

seen as more of an engagement party than a proper wedding rite.

Marriage is one of the oldest institutions among Yoruba, it marks the end and the

beginning of a new era between two different individuals, who agreed to live together,

and through their union creates everlasting friendship between homes of their birth.

In times past, marriage matters were never left in the hands of prospective couples,

rather, families’ affairs. Several steps were required before marriage could be

consummated, although, things have really changed; yet, some of these steps are still

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 valid and observed in a marriage journey by couples, because of their cultural

relevance.34

3.2.1 Steps In Marriage

Search for spouse initiated by males (Ifojusode), Wall-scratching time (Idẹgiri),

Acceptance /Voice-opening (Iṣiun), Family soliciting (Itọrọ), Betrothal (Idana),

Marriage proper and bride hand-over (Igbeyawo) Search for spouse begins with a man,

when he is of age. The potential groom begins visiting night market, local streams (where

laundry is done, mostly by maidens), Public Square, female centers.

Another search method is through friends, who have female siblings. Also, through

potential groom sisters, these individuals serve as-go-between-brother-and-female friend.

At times, parents do the search, by looking out for a well-behaved child from a reputable

home; and sometimes, in order to create lasting friendship, parents arrange for a union

between their wards.

Regardless of the search method, should a suitable spouse be found, the male child will

tell his father.35

The male spouse continues his visits to the lady (to seek consent); the lady as it were

without a word may have agreed, but still playing hide game (Idẹgiri). At this time, the

lady never look at her would-be-spouse face, rather, she keeps looking on the floor or

wall-scratching; probably in the presence of a chaperone.

The next marriage step is, “Iṣiun” meaning “I have accepted your proposal” after many

visits to the prospective bride home, exchange personal of gifts. At this time, all family

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 members of the lady have known their future son-in-law, background search on character,

family reputation is already done and known. The lady feels it is time to consent, and

move the relationship further after seeking parental advice and blessing on the matter.

When the lady agrees, marriage journey moves to the fourth and most important level

“Itọrọ” that is soliciting for the prospective wife from father’s house. This stage in

marriage steps is undertaken by the most senior males in the two houses, if the requests

are granted, then the groom’s family moves to the next crucial stage of marriage called

Betrothals (Idana), the second to the last leg in a Yoruba marriage.

Idana is the first public request of a female child, for hands in marriage from her father’s

house. At this occasion, items of both spiritual and social values are presented to the

bride’s family. These items are:

1. Honey (Oyin): A bottle of wild honey, the symbolic value of this item is that, couple’s

life will be sweet like honey; and be blessed with promising children.

2. Alligator Pepper (Atare): It comes in a pod with multiple seed, it symbolizes blessing,

healthy and prosperous children for the couple.

3. Ground-nut Cake (Adun): It is a local cake made from ground nut; it signifies

sweetness, blessing and prosperous future for the couple and their children.

4. Local wine (Ọti-Ṣẹkẹtẹ): This represents water, which is life, treasured for its multiple

use. Since no one ever dislikes and speaks evil of water, so the couple will live a peaceful

life, free from hate and dislike.

5. Kola-nut (Obi-Abata with four halves, 42 or 100 pieces; in some cases it can more):

Kola-nut has several social and spiritual values in Yoruba land, when it comes to

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 marriage, it symbolizes fertility. The kola-nut brought on this day will be used to pray for

the fruit of belly.

6. Traditional-Wedding

7. Bitter-nut (Orogbo, 42 pieces; in some cases it can be more): Represents old age,

prosperity and trouble-free world; this means, the couple will live a long life in good

health, and see generations of their children.

8. Palm oil (Epo-pupa): It has several uses, one of which is the antidotal value. The palm

oil suggests that, no evil will befall, or over-reach the couple.

9. Salt (Iyọ): Is used as a preservative and as a sweetner; symbolically, salt in the life of the

couple will represent joy and trouble-free life.

10. Yam (between 30 and 100 tubers): This will depend on the status, wealth of the

groom’s family.

Prayers are said by families and other well-wishers. The ceremony legitimizes the

couple’s relationship, and at this point, none of the party without a well-founded reason

can back out of the relationship.

The final step in marriage is the solemnization of the couple in the presence of all

families and well wishers (Igbeyawo). On this day, the bride is told the simple truth

about her new, and permanent home. As a home-school where she will never graduate

(ile-eko); she will be advised and counseled on how to live, and to care for her husband,

and her relationship with other family members. The husband is advised on how to be a

good provider, a kind, loving and caring husband. The ceremony is concluded with

prayers, bride is handed over to the most senior male in groom’s family.

3.3 Importance of Introduction and Engagement in Yoruba Culture

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The Yoruba Traditional Wedding Ceremony, also known as the Yoruba Engagement

ceremony, or Igbeyawo in Yoruba, usually takes place days, weeks or even months

before the white wedding ceremony. Some families choose to hold both weddings on the

same day. The bride’s family is typically responsible for covering the ceremony costs,

but some families choose to split the costs as they please. The entire ceremony is

orchestrated by two representatives who are chosen or hired by each side of the family.

The groom’s family is represented by the Alaga Iduro/ Olopa Iduro (standing policeman),

while the bride’s family is represented by the Alaga Ijoko/Olopa Ijoko (sitting

policeman).36

The Yoruba traditional wedding ceremony usually kicks of with the bride’s family seated

and waiting for the groom’s family to arrive. Both the groom and bride are absent at this

point. Once the groom’s family arrive, the Alaga Ijoko welcomes them at the gate in the

company of the the housewives of the bride’s side of the family. The Alaga then asks the

groom’s family to state their reasons for coming before collecting an entry fee from them.

Finally, she introduces them to the bride’s family before some prayers are said. After the

introduction, the groom’s family kneel and prostrate before for the family of the bride.

The two families then sit at opposite sides of the room, while the Alagas sit or stand in

their midst.

Once seated, the Alaga Iduro presents the proposal letter to the Alaga Ijoko on behalf of

the groom’s family. This letter is read out loud by a younger female representative of the

bride’s family, such as the younger sister or cousin. An acceptance letter is then presented

to the groom’s family before some prayers are said.37

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 In the Yoruba culture, an “Introduction” Ceremony is held so both families can meet

officially. The idea behind this is to introduce key members of both families so they

know their son or daughter’s new relatives. It’s usually a small affair, but these days, it’s

like a mini traditional wedding ceremony.

Lastly, each member of both families was introduced and we were done! The rest of the

evening was spent mingling and getting to know the family members we hadn’t met yet. I

changed into a more comfortable outfit and enjoyed the rest of my night.38

The Yoruba culture of western Nigeria is full of folklore, color, and pageantry. People are

easy-going, friendly, very cosmopolitan, and contemporary, inventing clever ways to

combine old traditions with more modern themes. Having the advantage of being

exposed to western ideas, Yoruba people integrate modern customs into their traditional

marriage ceremonies.

The Yoruba traditional marriage ceremony, though a serious affair, is full of playfulness,

rich contemporary Nigerian music, graceful colors, and sumptuous meals. Weddings are

occasions to show best outfits, handbags, jewelry, and even dancing styles.

The traditional wedding is an occasion to alleviate the drudgery of normal life and are

greatly anticipated by friends and well wishers.39

3.2.0 The Introduction of the Bride and Groom

Long before any engagement ceremony takes place, the groom visits the family of the

bride in the company of his father and some family members. The occasion is an informal

introduction without fanfare but has a cordial atmosphere so they can get to know one

another.

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 The informal introduction does not require much preparation, except for offering some

tubers of yam and a few bottles of wine. The family of the bride is purview to the visit

and hosts the visitors with a simple meal of rice and mineral water. Apart from the

introductions, the group might discuss when the event would take place. This is not a

hard and fast rule, and such discussions might take place later.40

3.3.1 Invitations and Venue

After the date is set, the bride and groom choose an invitation card that appeals to both

families. Details included on the card include the date of the wedding, the venue or

venues, the name of bride and groom, RSVP information, and, most importantly, the

color code for the day. The bride’s family may choose a different color code from the

groom’s family and friends so that on the marriage day each family is represented by a

color.

The couple may select their own venue or the bride’s family may choose. One interesting

thing about choosing a venue is that it is usually a compromise between both families.

Even the meals served on the occasion are agreed upon by both parties. Sometimes the

more financially capable family contributes a larger portion, but traditional wedding

parties are a combined effort by both families.41

3.3.2 Yoruba wedding hall, Event Planner, Caterer, and Drinks

The venue could be an event center, a large hall, an open canopy, or an open field. The

decoration is contracted to an events planner, whose job is to interpret the colors chosen

by using decorations to complement the joyful union. The guest list could number over

250 guests, so proper consideration of seating arrangements, cutlery, and decorations is

of great importance.

52
 Decorations usually consist of floral arrangements, colored balloons, tapestries of both

color schemes, white tablecloths, and chairs covered in lace and ceremonial colors. The

planner decorates the high table for dignitaries and places two prominent chairs in front

of the crowd for the bride and groom. Other features could include flower vases and

cutlery. The catering is also serious business. Again, this can be done by both families.

The contracted caterers should be professional in their conduct and able to make assorted

meals including jollof rice and moin moin, which is beans that has been washed,

grounded, and steamed.

The chicken could be fried or roasted. There can be fried meat, fresh fish, and catfish as

well as small chops like sausages and meat pies. Small cakes, chin chin, and other small

delicacies are also traditional. Traditional foods like pounded yam, amala (yam extract),

fufu, and wheat meals may also be served, along with a variety of vegetable dishes.

Sometimes family members from both sides also cook additional meals to entertain their

immediate guests, such as neighbors and family friends.

The drinks could be the responsibility of the caterers or can be contracted out to

wholesalers or drink suppliers. Their duty is to refrigerate drinks and serve the guests.

The type of drinks could be alcohol, juice, punch, fine wines, brandy, mineral water, and

bottled water. The drink handlers and food caterers supply attendants who see to the

needs of the guests.

The ceremony is incomplete without young elegant girls (that could be friends of the

bride or graduate students) who usher the guests to their tables.42

3.3.3 Traditional Clothing

53
 The bride's outfit is a reflection of what the female guests will wear. She might choose

damask, lace, Nigerian wax fabric, or any fabric that appeals to her. The outfit consists of

gale which is the head tie, the buba tank top, and an IRO, which is a large, ankle-length

piece of material tied round her waist.

The colors she chooses reflects the color theme her family has chosen but should also

complement the groom's outfit and look identical. She can wear accessories like gold

chains, beads, bangles, gold earrings, and shoes to match. Her face would have gone

through a beauty regime with professional makeup artists, hair stylists, and color

coordinators.

The groom could decide to wear an Agbada, which is a two-layered piece of material of

heavy dimensions like the aso oke. It might be cotton and damask or he might wear lace,

wax fabric (Ankara). The color combination should complement the bride's and reflect

the color his family has chosen.43

3.3.4 The Engagement Ceremony

The traditional engagement is carried out by a contracted professional called the Alaga

ijoko which translates to traditional master of ceremony. This person could be a member

of the bride’s family or a complete stranger. The Alaga Ijoko is always a woman. Her

duty is to properly officiate and coordinate the proceedings so that each provision of

tradition is strictly adhered too.

There are different stages she coordinates. Each stage might involve collecting cash

which the Alaga keeps. The groom and his friends are formally introduced to the bride's

family. This involves bowing to the family and formally requesting their daughters hand

in marriage.44

54
 The groom’s people also hire a professional called the Alaga iduro, which means a

master of ceremony who follows the groom and family to beg for the hand of their

daughter. The Alaga iduro is also a professional custodian of Yoruba wedding tradition.

She could be a family member or hired for the occasion.

Other festivities include the letter reading, which is read by a young lady from the

groom’s family and which also asks for the bride's hand. The bride's family also responds

with a letter of their own.

The engagement is an integral part of the traditional marriage. As the ceremony proceeds,

items listed for the engagement are presented. The items vary slightly in each Yoruba

traditional wedding, but the general articles are the same.

1. A bag of sugar

2. A bag of rice

3. Alligator pepper

4. A large number of bitter kola

5. A bag of salt

6. Kola nut

7. If Muslim a Qur'an and if Christian a bible

8. A keg of honey

9. About forty large tubers of yam

Non edible items could include expensive materials like lace, several pairs of shoes, a

wristwatch, a gold engagement ring, and a head tie.

The groom and friends prostrating in front of the parents and elders of the bride.45

3.3.5 The Bride and Groom

55
 Some of the engagement protocols officiated by the Alaga ijoko are carried out in the

absence of the groom. The professionals go through a question and answer format, where

the bride's moderator puts the representatives of the groom through some hoops. At one

point the groom’s presence is needed and he comes forward to be introduced to the

bride’s family and parents.

When all requirements are met, the groom is allowed to sit in one of the two large chairs

conspicuously placed in from of the guests. The chairs are artfully decorated in the

ceremonial colors chosen by the wedding planner.

The bride is then heralded into the hall, followed by her friends and bridesmaids. This is

another example of similarity with western culture, the difference being that the ladies

wear ethnic outfits like buba and IRO and join in a boisterous dance down the hall. The

bride also goes through a few protocols, but money is only given to her and not taken, as

in the case of the groom.

She is introduced to the groom’s family and assumes her place beside the groom. At this

stage they may consider themselves married. The wife feeds the groom some cake and

wine and even gives him a kiss, to the amusement of the guests.46

Yoruba Traditional Gifts and Edible Items

Bride's Gifts

1. Gold wrist watches

2. Gold earrings

3. Wax fabric

Traditional Edibles

1. Alligator pepper

56
2. Bitter kola

3. Kolanut

Edibles

1. Bag of rice

2. Bag of salt

3. Cow

Gift items at the traditional wedding.

The Cake and Entertainment

The entertainment might consist of a celebrity master of ceremony who could be a

member of the family or a professional. He or she is different from the traditional female

masters of ceremony on the groom and bride's sides. This master of ceremony

coordinates the entertainment by introducing the live band or disc jockey, and adheres to

the prearranged program. The marriage has been contracted and all that is left is to dance,

feast, and make merry.

The band is usually ethnic but combines contemporary popular songs blending with both

English renditions, Yoruba native tongue, and talking drums. The most popular music

genres played at such traditional marriages are juju music, afro juju music, high life

music, gospel music, hip hop, and current Nigerian sounds.

The cake is the responsibility of the bride. She chooses one that best complements the

joyful occasion. It could be chocolate or multi-layered butter with regular icing. The cake

might have small figurines of the couple or a simple inscription of the bride's choosing.

The cake-maker tells the guests about and the cake's contents just before the cutting. The

57
 bride and groom's dance ends the traditional wedding. The ceremony may be recorded on

video and photos taken while the occasion is in full swing. The end is characterized by

taking photographs the families, guests, friends, and well-wishers.

Yoruba traditional marriages are seen as occasions for family members to reunite and

catch-up on current happenings. They are fun-filled and meticulously planned events that

announce to the world the union of loved ones.

The couple can choose to include a civil union involving a court wedding and also a

church wedding with a separate wedding reception. Muslims, who also form a large

number of Yoruba people, have a more simplified wedding protocols, involving Islamic

scholars and religious leaders who offer prayers to the union followed by merriment in

the form of a party.47

3.4 Role of Both Bride and Groom Parent before and after Marriage

3.4.0 Traditional Roles for the Bride's Parents

The bride's parents' role as host and hostess of the reception is foremost. This honor is

theirs because traditionally they pay for part, if not all, of the festivities. As such, their

names have historically gone at the top of the invitations, and they play a special role at

the reception of making guests feel welcome and ensuring that everything runs smoothly.

This also means it falls on the parents of the bride to determine, roughly, the guest count

and to allot fair portions of this total to the groom's parents. Because the final head count

essentially comes down to expense which can be a sensitive topic -- clear and considerate

communication between both families is essential.48

In many cases, paying and being hosts means that the parents of the bride want certain

things done their way. Parents have been known to insist that the location, date, or menu

58
of a wedding meets their specifications or at least accommodates their interests. Ideally,

compromises are reached that everyone can live with: The reception menu includes

dishes for vegetarians as well as meat eaters, and the seaside location features a sheltered

indoor space with comfortable seats for guests who don't care to stroll barefoot on the

sand.49

But frequently, the "paying versus influence" issue requires a delicate balancing act on

the part of the couple, especially now that more and more couples are sharing wedding

expenses with the bride's parents. Even when the bride's parents don't contribute

financially to the reception, they may still be called upon to act as cohosts, and many

brides and grooms find they appreciate this gracious help during the celebration.

Long before they take their turns as host and hostess, the parents of the bride have duties

to attend to, beginning with sending the engagement announcements to the local

newspapers. If the groom is from another town or if his parents live farther than a local

paper away, the bride's parents should find out whether they would like the

announcement to appear in their hometown paper as well.

Once plans are afoot, things can get very busy for the parents of the bride -- particularly

her mother. This is especially true if a bride no longer lives in her hometown but plans to

marry there, because it is usually her mother who becomes the unofficial wedding

consultant for the upcoming production. The mother of the bride also typically helps the

bride with coordinating the invitations, and the ceremony and reception details -- offering

as much or as little advice and assistance as her daughter requests.

She is also a good person to act as the liaison among the different parties involved in the

planning. Particularly useful are her updates with the groom's family, which can also help

59
 both sides forge closer ties before the event. As for the wedding-day outfits for the

mothers of the bride and groom, historically, the first pick has gone to the mother of the

bride, who in turn informs the mother of the groom of the color and style of her selection.

The idea is that the groom's mother will not choose a color that clashes or a style that

seems to outshine the bride's mom.50

The father of the bride has fewer designated tasks, which makes him available to step in

and save the day whenever his daughter or wife needs him. Besides his duties as host,

which may include a stint in the receiving line (though this is optional for the fathers of

both bride and groom) and a welcome toast at the reception, his next most high-profile

assignment is to escort his daughter on her last walk as a single woman. (In Jewish

ceremonies, this honor goes to both parents.)51

During the wedding reception, the father's duties also call for him to dance with his

daughter, keep an eye on the food and drink supplies, and write last-minute checks to

suppliers and vendors. Finally, the parents of the bride should aim to be the last to leave

the reception, perhaps making arrangements for gifts to be taken to the new couple's

home, and generally overseeing the winding down and closing out of the party.52

3.4.1 Traditional Roles for the Groom's Parents

The groom's mother and father have duties that begin as soon as the engagement is

announced. Traditionally, it is the groom's parents who reach out to the bride's to

introduce themselves if they haven't already met, share formal congratulations, and try to

arrange an in-person visit, if it's feasible. If they haven't had the opportunity to

congratulate the bride in person, a warm, welcoming note is also in order.53

60
 While they do not mastermind the biggest party, the groom's mother and father do get to

throw a few of their own. At the outset, some parents choose to host an engagement party

for their son and his intended, for the express purpose of welcoming her and introducing

her to their friends and extended family. Although this isn't a requirement, it can be a

wonderful way of getting future wedding guests together to establish a rapport before the

event -- familiar faces always make for a more convivial affair.54

The groom's father can also have a hand in planning the bachelor party, if he chooses to.

And, of course, both the groom's parents traditionally organize (and pay for) the rehearsal

dinner. This can range in size from a small occasion for members of the wedding party

only to a grand soiree (never to outdo the wedding, of course) that includes half or more

of the wedding guests.55

A final word on costs: There are many expenses that usually fall to the groom, such as the

marriage license, flowers for the women of the wedding party and the mothers, clergy

fees, and the honeymoon. Although it is not at all an obligation for them, his parents

might decide to assist him with any of these.56

3.5 End Note

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Cooley, Argell and Car :[Link]
characteristics-and-functions/9577
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E.A. Hoebel:[Link]
functions/9577
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H.T. Mazumadar:[Link]
and-functions/9577
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Https://[Link]/culture/culture-the-meaning-characteristics-and-functions/9577
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Https://[Link]/culture/culture-the-meaning-characteristics-and-functions/9577
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Https://[Link]/culture/culture-the-meaning-characteristics-and-functions/9577
31
Https://[Link]/culture/culture-the-meaning-characteristics-and-functions/9577
32
Yorùbá Online Yorùbá People And Culture: Yorùbá Language
33
Yorùbá Online Yorùbá People And Culture: Yorùbá Language
34
Baba Ifa Karade, The Handbook of Yoruba Religious Concepts, Weiser Books, [Link] 0-
87728-789-9
35
Ogunyemi (Prince), Yemi D. (1998). The Aura of Yoruba Philosophy, Religion and Literature. New
York: Athelia Henrietta Press. ISBN 1-890157-14-7.
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