HANDLING AND OVERCOMING MALICE IN COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE
SIASAKOSO ATI BIBORI ODI YIYAN(ARANKAN) NNU IBAJORE ATI
IGBEYAWO
BIBLE REF: TITUS 3: 2-6, 1PT 2:1, EPHES 4: 30-32, AMOS 3:3
Introduction: During courtship, there are times whereby either partner
showcases certain behavior or attitude that are against life's philosophy or
values of other partner and many atimes resulted in break off of such
union(serve each other breakfast) and when you look at the main cause of
such break off, one will discover that many atimes it has to do with how
such quarrel and disagreement was kept and processed overtime in the
heart of the intending couple.
Also in marriage, managing disagreement or quarrelling is more severe
because each of the couple will or may want to display their ego and
authority after disagreement by showing their grievances through "MALICE".
Unfortunately, most of this behavior must have been kept during courtship
but now, no more pretence and hiding due to the believe that , they now
have what they wanted and that the other partner is now theres forever
and so they can do what pleases them to show their anger on issues
through MALICE just to make a point.
So today, we want to look at malice as one of the aftermath of
disagreement both in courtship and marriage. i.e We will look at the causes,
the impacts and the solutions.
TARGET AUDIENCE:
1. If after any dis agreement you find it difficult to return to that special
thing you share as a couple, intending couples, friends, e.t.c, you need to
listen to this
2. Also, how soon do you come together after disagreement? how many
hours,days or weeks does it take to restore your groove? how fast do you
reestablish connection after a conflict? if your sincere answers to the
questions is on the negative , this lecture is for you.
Malice is a broad topic with so many synonyms like malevolence, ILL will,
spite, grudges etc but for the purpose of this topic and to be able to
discharge well on the topic as given by God, I will discuss this issue of
malice as related to grudges.
Malice define: it has to do with holding back a thought or ILL feelings in
ones heart against someone. This can be orchestrated by an incidence or
actions that seems not pleasing to you or your values.
CAUSES OF MALICE
1. when either parties refuses to acknowledge their wrong doings nor
accept corrections on their actions.
2. when a partner always finding fault in the act of other partner.
3. when ways or correction looks condemnable.
4. show of arrogance in either parties.
5. it is one of the weapon devil uses to attack a Godly relationship/
marriage. 2 cor2:11
IMPACT OF MALICE ON MARRIAGES AND COURTSHIPS
1. Love will not grow
2. kills love and bond either in marriage/ courtship.
3. it will affect both the spiritual and physical growth of the union.
4. it takes away your joy and replaces it with sadness e.g
a. you will always appear sad
b. sadness makes you looks older than your age
c. you then become unattractive to your partner
d. you always be aggressive and fliring up unnecessarily.
5. On the long run, you will find it difficult to forgive.
SOLUTIONS
1. Talk it out, don't allow the issues to linger.
2. Be ready to let go
3. Don't always react negatively to all issues. i.e Quarrelling all the time to
all issues
4. work on your maturity i.e. grow up by overcoming christian malice.
5. Be accommodating
6. Develop a forgiving spirit
7. pray to God for a fleshly heart through the power of the Holy Spirit. Ezek
36:26
8. Make it a habbit to constantly make him or her happy.
prepared by: Pastor Samuel Adeolu Bankole
