Task 1: The table and charts below give information about doctors in
Australia between 1986 and 2006. Summarize the information by selecting
and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The two charts show data about doctors working in Australia in the period of 1986 to 2006.
Overall, it can be seen in the table that the number of doctors had increased throughout the
years. In the bar chart, there is an opposite in the figure of male and famale doctors, as well as
the original birthplace of them.
In the table, the number of doctors in Australia stood at the highest position at 35450 in the end
of the period, followed by that of 1996. Additionally, compared to the figure in 1986, doctors in
Australia presented a significant rise in the 20-year period.
Moving to the bar chart, the percentage of doctors in both gender had notable changes as the
male ones though remained in the highest status, it had decreased considerably from 78% to 61%
from 1986 to 2006. While the figure of female doctors could not surpass that of male; however,
the percentage of them kept rising throughtout the years and ended up at 39% in 2006. In terms
of doctor’s birthplace, the ratio of Australia-born doctors was at the first place in 1986 of 61%,
before notably declining to 50% in 2006, while foreign doctors’ percentage increased throughtout
the period and had the same figure with the previous one.
Thank you for submitting your Task 1 essay. Below is my detailed evaluation based on the
IELTS Writing Task 1 assessment criteria.
Task Achievement
Band Score: 6.0
Your essay provides an overview of the data and describes the main trends, such as the
increase in the number of doctors and changes in gender and birthplace proportions.
However, some details are either unclear or not fully developed. For example, the
description of the bar chart trends, such as "the percentage of doctors in both gender had
notable changes," could be more specific. Additionally, the comparison of birthplace data
in 2006 ("had the same figure with the previous one") is vague and needs clarification. To
improve, ensure that all key features are clearly explained and supported with precise data
from the charts.
Coherence and Cohesion
Band Score: 6.5
Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
The use of linking words such as "Overall," "Firstly," and "While" helps to organize your
ideas. However, some sentences lack clarity and disrupt the flow. For instance, "there is an
opposite in the figure of male and famale doctors, as well as the original birthplace of
them" is confusing and could be rephrased for better coherence. To improve, use a wider
range of cohesive devices and ensure that sentences are grammatically correct and
logically connected.
Lexical Resource
Band Score: 6.0
Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like "percentage," "notable changes,"
and "significant rise." However, there are frequent spelling errors, such as "famale"
(female), "throughtout" (throughout), and "afect" (affect), which reduce the overall quality
of your writing. Additionally, some word choices are awkward or repetitive, such as
"highest position" and "notable changes." To improve, focus on expanding your range of
vocabulary and ensuring accurate spelling and word choice.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Band Score: 5.5
Your essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are
frequent grammatical errors that hinder clarity. For example:
"the number of doctors had increased throughout the years" should be "the number
of doctors increased steadily over the years."
"doctors in Australia presented a significant rise" should be "the number of doctors
in Australia showed a significant rise."
"the percentage of doctors in both gender had notable changes" should be "the
percentage of doctors in both genders changed significantly."
Additionally, some sentences are overly complex or lack proper punctuation. To
improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and using a mix of simple and
complex sentences accurately.
Final Scores
Task Achievement: 6.0
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
Lexical Resource: 6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5.5
Overall Estimated Band Score: 6.0
Concluding Feedback
Your essay provides a good overview of the data, but it needs more precise descriptions
and better grammatical accuracy to achieve a higher score. Focus on avoiding spelling
errors, improving sentence clarity, and providing more detailed comparisons. With
practice, you can enhance your writing and achieve a higher band score.
Would you like to submit another essay for evaluation? Please type "yes" or "no."
