Date with Disaster (Comedy – 500 words)
Jenny had been on a string of disappointing dates, but this one was shaping up to be the weirdest.
His name was Damien—tall, charming in a slightly sinister way, with a British accent that felt
more "Dracula" than "Downton Abbey." They met on a dating app where he listed his job as
“Freelance Apocalyptic Consultant.” She’d laughed, thought it was a joke. Now she wasn’t so
sure.
Dinner was at a dimly lit bistro downtown. He ordered steak—rare. She went with pasta.
Conversation flowed well at first, until he casually said:
“Just so we’re being honest—I’m technically the Antichrist.”
Jenny blinked. “I’m sorry…what?”
“The literal one,” he said, sipping his wine. “Son of the Fallen, heir to the pit, destroyer of
worlds. Though only part-time now. I’ve scaled back.”
She stared at him.
He looked sheepish. “I do part-time consulting for end-of-days scenarios. Earthquakes. Plagues.
The usual. But honestly, I’m more into art now. Watercolor, mostly. End-of-the-world stuff was
getting…stale.”
Jenny took a slow bite of fettuccine.
Damien kept talking. “I get it, it’s a lot to drop on a first date, but honesty matters, you know?
Especially with my…lineage. I just wanted to be upfront before you got emotionally invested.”
Jenny chewed thoughtfully. “You’re not seriously expecting me to believe this, right?”
Damien smiled. “Would it help if I summoned a rain of frogs right now? Or turned your wine
into blood?”
She sighed. “No, that’s just unhygienic.”
They paused. Waiter came by. Dessert?
Jenny looked at Damien. “Do you deserve dessert?”
“I haven’t ended the world…yet.”
“Fine. Chocolate lava cake.”
They shared it. It was excellent.
Afterward, Damien walked her to her car.
“Look,” he said. “I really did enjoy tonight. You’re…refreshing. Most people scream or try to
convert me.”
Jenny shrugged. “You’re not the worst date I’ve had.”
Damien raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Oh yeah. Once went out with a guy who thought lizard people ran the government. At least
your story’s original.”
He grinned. “Would you go out again? No pressure. Just—no global cataclysms during dinner, I
swear.”
Jenny considered. “I’ll think about it. Maybe if you bring me one of those plague frogs. I’ve
always wanted a weird pet.”
He bowed dramatically. “Your wish is my apocalyptic command.”
She drove off into the night, shaking her head and laughing. The guy might’ve been nuts, but he
was interesting.
Weeks passed. The sky stayed blue. No horsemen. No rivers of fire. Just the usual traffic and
rent hikes.
Then, one morning, she got a text:
DAMIEN:
Hey. Just wanted to say thanks. Been taking time off. Picked up yoga. Still haven’t ended the
world. :)
JENNY:
Proud of you. Keep it up. Don’t smite anyone.
DAMIEN:
Only mildly tempted.
She smiled.
Maybe the Antichrist just needed a good date and someone to believe in his better half.
