ADHD &
Self-Esteem
6 Ways to Boost Your Child’s
Self-Esteem & Build
Confidence
UNIQUE LOGIC AND TECHNOLOGY, INC.© 2021
Self-Esteem
Healthy self-esteem is one of the most important things we can give to
our children. Kids with good self-esteem aren’t afraid to ask for help
and are more willing to stick with tasks or situations they find difficult.
They’re more likely to develop a healthy growth-oriented mindset
because they feel confident and secure in themselves and proud of
their accomplishments.
ADHD & Self-Esteem
Children with ADHD have a lot to be proud of. They’re bright, energetic,
enthusiastic and creative. But a lot of the time, a diagnosis of ADHD
can have a negative effect on a child’s self-esteem.
Executive function issues like difficulty initiating a task and sustaining
attention to see it through to the end are often misinterpreted by
teachers or parents as lack of motivation or defiance.
You may constantly receive calls from the teacher stating that your
child forgot to turn in their homework, got into an argument with their
classmates, was unable to complete the daily class assignments, and
performed poorly on a test. When your child experiences this much
failure - despite being as bright or brighter than their peers - you can
understand why their self esteem is negatively affected.
These experiences often lead to
avoidance. Your child may
avoid starting assignments,
trying new things, or engaging
with peers due to fear of failure
not because of defiance or a
lack of motivation.
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Self Esteem Impacts Your
Decision-making process
Relationships
Emotional health
Overall well-being
www.verywellmind.com
6 Ways to Boost Your Child’s
Self-Esteem & Build
Confidence
6 Ways to Boost Your Child’s Self-Esteem & Build Confidence
1. Talk to Your Child
The first thing we can do is think carefully about
how we talk to children about ADHD.
If you’re a parent of a child with ADHD, and
you have ADHD yourself, talk openly and honestly
about what it’s like for you, how you cope with it,
and both the good and bad aspects of it.
It’s important for children to know that ADHD doesn’t
define them, and that it won’t prevent them from
reaching their full potential. One way to look at it is
that ADHD isn’t something wrong with our brains,
it’s simply that you may learn differently.
Another helpful topic of discussion for children
with ADHD might be all the famous people who
have ADHD that they probably don’t know
about. American Olympians Simone Biles and
Michael Phelps have ADHD. Recording artists
Justin Timberlake and Solange Knowles, and
billionaire Richard Branson also have ADHD.
None of these people let ADHD prevent
them from taking advantage of their natural gifts.
2. Highlight Your Child’s Natural Talents
Everyone has natural talents, and emphasizing your
child’s, or helping them discover them is a great way
to build self-esteem. Most children, especially those
with ADHD, crave new experiences and thrive when
allowed to explore. Providing children with
opportunities to explore new things, like playing
sports, going to museums, exploring new places
or trying new hobbies, gives them a chance to discover new talents.
Highlighting those natural talents and supporting them will give them an opportunity to
shine, which will naturally boost their self-esteem.
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3. Recognize and Reward Effort
When your children explore their natural talents, it will also help their self-esteem if you
give them praise.
However, simply telling them they did a good job is not enough. Effective praise focuses
on effort. Praising effort, even if a child doesn’t do as well as they would have liked, can
help build self-esteem. It also helps to ask them what contributed to their success. So if a
child tries their hardest but doesn’t succeed, praise their effort, and ask them what they
learned.
If your child succeeds, praise the results, but also praise their effort, and discuss their
process. Ask them how they succeeded, or what they did that helped. Even if they aren’t
sure, talking about it helps contribute to the type of healthy introspection that leads to
learning.
4. Motivate
Motivation is also key, but like praise, it has to be the right kind of motivation.
Setting goals is a great way to motivate kids. Effective goals are specific and time limited.
“Read ten pages this week” is a better, more motivating goal than “Read more books.”
Another great form of motivation is to put your child in charge. If you have a chore you
need them to do, make them part of the process. Ask them how long it should take, let
them plan out how to do it, then let them go. See if they were right about how long it took,
talk to them about how it could have gone better, and make a plan for the next time.
And finally, we can give them actual rewards. There are two kinds of motivation, intrinsic
or internal, and extrinsic or external. We all want our children to internalize the feeling of
accomplishment to help them develop internal motivation. But external motivation,
rewards, are shown to be very effective for children with ADHD. The important thing to
remember is that according to research, external rewards work best for short term goals.
A reward for getting all their homework done in one sitting will work better than a reward
for something vague or longer term, like “improve your grades.”
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5. Develop Emotional Connections
Developing emotional connections is also an important factor to building healthy self-
esteem. Healthy, open, loving relationships with family are of course very important, but
it’s just important to build connections with friends and the community.
You can help a child with social deficits build closer friendships by planning smaller
playdates. Children with ADHD may take longer to develop the skills of managing
relationships or responding appropriately to social cues. They often find it easier to deal
with one or two other children at a time.
To build a stronger sense of their connection to the community, look for volunteer
opportunities that speak to your child’s interests. If they like animals, they can volunteer at
a shelter. If you have the kind of child who craves physical activity, volunteer at a park
clean-up, or some other community service project that will keep them moving, but also
help them feel their connection to the greater community.
One landmark study showed that lack of social connection is a greater detriment to
health than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure.
People who feel more connected to others have lower levels of anxiety and depression.
Moreover, studies show they also have higher self-esteem, greater empathy for others, are
more trusting and cooperative and, as a consequence, others are more open to trusting and
cooperating with them. In other words, social connectedness generates a positive feedback
loop of social, emotional and physical well-being.
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6. Improve Executive Function
It is critical that we take steps to improve executive function. Weak executive function,
which includes poor impulse control, weak emotional control, diffused attention,
decreased ability to reason, and poor organizational skill, undermines one’s self-esteem
by weakening the very foundation of our ability to learn and maintain positive
relationships.
Weak executive function, which includes:
• poor impulse control
• weak emotional control
• diffused attention
• decreased ability to reason
• poor organizational skill
These challenges undermine one’s self-esteem by weakening the very foundation of our
ability to learn and maintain positive relationships.
Play Attention can help! Play Attention is specifically designed to strengthen the
cognitive skills that lay the foundation for strong executive function.
Our NASA inspired technology and cognitive exercises improve executive function
and self-regulation. Each program includes a Lifetime Membership and a Personal
Executive Function Coach to customize your plan along the way.
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