Preparation for Godly Wedding with Scriptural

Moderation
Gen2:18; 24; Eph 5:21-33; Phil 4:5-6, 1Con10:31
Marriage, being an honourable institution, is launched through a Christian
wedding in a solemn and moderate manner to glorify God who is the
originator. Undoubtedly, wedding ceremony is the climax of initiating a
Christian home, therefore, excesses, worldliness and carnality that have
pervaded our society today must be avoided and scriptural patterns must be
embraced without any reservation. For singles aspiring to have a Godly
wedding, scriptural moderation plays a crucial role, we look into Biblical
principles and teachings to guide us in planning a wedding that honours God,
maintains purity, and observes moderation in all aspects. Bible says let all
our moderation be made known to all men God is at hand. Everything we do
should be done decently and in order. Even when we want to enter into
Christian wedding, everything should be done to glorify God. Christian
wedding should be conducted and celebrated according to God’s precepts.
In life, preparation and planning largely determine success. An intending
couple must follow and comply with the directives as well as guidance of the
marriage committee. In preparing and planning for a Christian wedding, the
following are necessary:
Physical Preparation: (I Timothy 5:8); It is important, among other
things, that the brother must have suitable accommodation of at least a room
furnished with chairs, a bed and cooking utensils. He must also be gainfully
employed either as a salary earner or a businessperson. The sister should as
well be a woman of resource, not idle but industrious for a glorious home.
There must be emotional maturity and willingness to leave family, friends,
fans, and cleave to his/her spouse for the rest of their marriage life.
Spiritual Preparation: (Matthew 24:41; Philippians 4:6); Prayer must
be given priority to breakdown every barrier of resistance from parents and
others, financial difficulties and other stumbling blocks. The intending couple
must also pray that God’s name be glorified in every area of the wedding and
thereafter in the family. One should be spiritually alert to maintain convictions
and consciousness of keeping themselves pure before the wedding by
rejecting any tendencies or looseness that may lead into defilement via
careless moves and touches or any sin that will displease God. Prayers should
precede every decision in planning for the wedding and be mindful of the
counsellors you listen to and freelance mentors who will want to lure you into
carnal and worldly lust that gratify the flesh to please men.
Parental Consent: Gen24:37-38,47-51; After successfully praying for
knowing and accepting God’s will in marriage, the next step in Christian
marriage is to seek parents’ consent after which courtship commences. From
Biblical records of marriage, the process begins with obtaining parental
consent which reinforces the importance of seeking family (parents) approval
in the union before proceeding with any marriage plans.
Courtship Period: 1Thess 4:3-7; Ideally courtship period should not go
beyond nine months. The period of courtship is a solemn period sandwiched
between consent to get married and starting a Christian home (holy
wedlock). It is also a major prerequisite in the marriage institution. Courtship
is a period of waiting when a brother and a sister that have agreed to marry
seek God and carefully study each other to understand each other, discuss
plans and lay solid foundation in their preparation for holy wedlock. It is a
time of praying, planning, discussion and sharing for the purpose of
harmonizing different individual goals into one set of family goals. All is
directed and channeled to glorify God in their marriage. At the end courtship,
as advised, between 6 and 9 months in our church, the brother and sister are
expected to get married.
The Engagement: (Genesis 24:53; I Corinthians 14:40). The
Engagement is an important preparation for a Christian wedding. During the
engagement, the bride price is paid. However, no ungodly material such as
alcohol or cash equivalents must be given. No harmful or idolatrous items
must be given or used for bride-price payment, no matter the pressure that
will come from the sister’s family, both should be united in maintaining their
convictions on what to accept for the name of the Lord to be glorified. It is
very instructive that the sister should not join her family in projecting their
ungodly demands by pressuring the brother.
The Wedding Ceremony: (John 2:1-11): The wedding ceremony should be
scriptural in its entire ramification. It must be solemn but joyful, spiritual but
lively, and show forth the glory of God. The wedding garments must be
beautiful and moderate. It must not depict worldliness, carnality or undue
demonstration of wealth.

1 Scriptural Foundations for a Godly wedding -Psalms11:3

A godly wedding is one that honors God, reflects His design for marriage, and
sets a spiritual foundation for the couple’s life together. The Scriptural
foundations for such a wedding are rooted in the Bible’s teaching on marriage
as a covenant, not just a social contract. Some of the scriptural foundations in
Godly wedding include:
A. Marriage is God’s Design Institution: Marriage is not man-made but a
divine ordinance meant for companionship, love, and godly multiplication.
Genesis 2:18, 21–24 – God Himself divinely instituted marriage when He
made Eve for Adam and declared: “Therefore shall a man leave his father
and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one
flesh.”
B. Covenant Relationship Before God: A godly wedding acknowledges
this covenant, not just a ceremony. Couples enter into marriage with the
understanding that it is sacred and binding before God. Malachi 2:14–15;
Marriage is called a covenant with God as a witness.
C. Christ and the Church as the Model: Husbands are to love sacrificially
as Christ loved the Church. Wives are to submit and respect their
 husbands as the Church submits to Christ. A godly wedding emphasizes
this spiritual symbolism. Eph 5:22–33 – Marriage symbolizes the
relationship between Christ and the Church .
D. Purity and Holiness in Marriage: A godly wedding is founded on purity,
where the couple enters marriage committed to sexual faithfulness and
holiness. Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed
undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge
E. Love as the Foundation: 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 – Love is patient, kind,
selfless, and enduring. A godly wedding is not centered on status,
competition materialism, appearances and status but on genuine love
rooted in Christ.
F. Prayer and God’s Blessing: John 2:1–11; Jesus’ presence at the
wedding in Cana shows that inviting God into a marriage brings blessing
and joy. A godly wedding involves prayer, dedication, and blessing from
spiritual leaders.
G. Leaving and Cleaving: A critical step of post wedding involves leaving
one’s parents to forge to a new Union, new family, new home this is based
on the principle found in the scripture, Gen2:23-24. A godly wedding
marks the beginning of a new, independent family unit, bound by God.
Matthew 19:5–6 – Jesus reaffirmed Genesis: “Therefore shall a man leave
father and mother and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one
flesh. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore
God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
H. Fruitfulness and Godly Offspring: A godly wedding establishes a home
prepared to nurture children in fear of the Lord. Genesis 1:28 – “Be
fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth…” Malachi 2:15 – God
desires “godly offspring” from marriage.

2 Sundry and firm security of a stable home

Psalms 37:4-5,115:11, 118:8; Gen 2:18-24; Prov 3:8, 18:22
The foundation of a stable home begins with the selection of a marriage
partner with total dependence on God for a suitable help meet. Marriage is
considered as God's institution as emphasized in Gen 2:18-24. For this
reason, it is vital or very important to depend on God to guide us in choosing
the right partner rather than resorting into worldly methods like sampling or
picking and choosing by sight. God's desire is to lead individuals to their
perfect fits, ensuring that we are mature, sensible and ready for the
responsibilities of marriage. It is God that knows best partner for us, He
knows every man. He is the one that instituted marriage from the garden of
Eden and not man. A stable home is built on strong spiritual, emotional, and
moral foundations that allow the family to thrive in love, unity, and peace. For
a true child of God, the stability of the home is not just about finances or
social status, it rests on God’s principles for family life. Firm security of a
stable home includes:
 I. Faith in Christ as the Cornerstone: Family prayer, devotion, and
commitment to God establish unshakable spiritual roots. A stable home
begins with Christ at the center, His Word, His Spirit, and His principles
guiding decisions. Psalm 127:1 – “Except the Lord build the house,
they labour in vain that build it.”
II. Fearless and Genuine Love: Marital love should be selfless (agape),
spousal love should be faithful (eros + agape), and parental love
should be nurturing (storge). Love is the glue that holds the home
together. 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 – Love is patient, kind, forgiving, and
enduring.
III. Focus on Mutual Respect and Submission: When respect is
practiced, strife is minimized and unity grows. Ephesians 5:21 –
“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” Husbands
must love sacrificially (Ephesians 5:25), wives must respect and
support (Ephesians 5:22), and children must obey (Ephesians 6:1–3).
IV. Frank and Effective Communication: Open, respectful, and honest
communication strengthens trust. Couples and parents must listen,
share, and resolve conflicts peacefully. Prov 15:1 – “A soft answer
turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
V. Forgiveness and Reconciliation: No home is free from
misunderstandings, but forgiveness prevents bitterness and builds
stability. Col3:13 – “Forgive one another if any of you has a grievance
against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
VI. Financial Responsibility: Stability requires wise financial
management, budgeting, and avoiding debt. Transparency,
accountability, financial discipline and agreement in money matters
strengthen trust and security in the family. 1 Timothy 5:8 – “But if any
provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he
hath denied the faith…”
VII. Faithful Training and Discipline of Children: A stable home
nurtures children in godliness, discipline, and moral values. Both
parents should be involved in teaching, correcting, and encouraging.
Prob 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go…”
VIII. Firm Unity and Team Spirit: The family must function as a team,
sharing goals, supporting one another, and standing together in
testimonies and trials. Amos 3:3 – “Can two walk together, except
they be agreed?”
IX. Fairly Severance from Parental and Family Dependence: 1
Con12:21, Ps68:6-Once a man or woman gets married, they are no
longer primarily dependent on their parents—emotionally, financially,
or in decision-making, but instead form a new, independent family unit
with their spouse. This concept is deeply rooted in biblical teaching. For
example, in Genesis 2:24, it is written:
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and
 shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
Severance from parental and family dependence in marriage ensures
that the new couple leaves behind the dependent structure of
childhood and establishes a new, self-sustaining family, where their
primary loyalty and dependence is on each other, not their parents.
Catalogues of key dimensions of severance from parental and family
dependence involve:
a) Emotional Severance-The couple should primarily lean on each other
for support, encouragement, and companionship, rather than
depending on their parents for constant affirmation or guidance. This
does not mean abandoning parental love but shifting the center of
emotional priority to the spouse.
b) Financial Severance-Marriage ideally involves financial
independence, where the couple manages their own resources and
makes joint financial decisions. Overreliance on parents for financial
support may undermine the authority, unity, and growth of the new
family.
c) Decision-making Severance- Couples should make their own choices
about careers, children, housing, and lifestyle, while still respecting
parental wisdom. Over-involvement of parents can create tension and
weaken the bond between husband and wife.
d) Spiritual/Social Severance-Spiritually, the couple should establish
their own family altar, prayer life, and moral direction. Socially, they
should be recognized as an independent unit, not as an extension of
their parents’ household. Thus, the couple must live in a separate
apartment of theirs and not stay under the roof of parents.
It is important to note that severance does not abandon them but should be
balanced. Honour, respect, and love for parents remain biblical and cultural
obligations (e.g., Exodus 20:12 – "Honour your father and mother"). The goal
is healthy independence, valuing godly parental counsel while ensuring that
the marital bond is primary.

3 Surest Signpost of promoting holiness and

righteousness
Mt19:10-11; 1Corth7:2,9-11; 1Tim5:9-15
Promoting holiness and righteousness among Christian couples means
encouraging couples to live according to God’s Word in their relationship,
marriage, and daily lives. It is about ensuring that their union reflects Christ’s
love, purity, and faithfulness, and that their marriage becomes a testimony to
others. Promoting holiness and righteousness among Christian couples is
anchored living in obedience to God’s Word, keeping Christ at the center of
the marriage, maintaining purity and faithfulness, forgiving one another, and
being a living example of God’s love to the world. The foregoing highlights
some key patterns to promote holiness and righteousness in marriage:
 i. Christ-Centered Marriage: Couples should recognize that marriage
is a covenant before God, not just a contract between two people.
Making Christ the foundation of the marriage helps keep love pure and
intentions righteous (Matt 6:33 – “Seek ye first the kingdom of God
and His righteousness…”).
ii. Daily Devotion and Prayer Together : Setting aside time for prayer,
Bible study, and worship strengthens both spiritual life and marital
unity. Couples who pray together are less likely to allow bitterness,
immorality, or division to creep in.
iii. Sexual Purity and Faithfulness: Remaining faithful to one another
promotes holiness in marriage. Hebs 13:4 says, “Marriage is
honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and
adulterers God will judge.”
iv. Mutual Love and Respect: Practicing sacrificial love (Ephesians
5:25) and respectful submission (Ephesians 5:22–24) nurtures
righteousness in the relationship. A couple who honors each other
reflects the relationship between Christ and the Church.
v. Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Holiness is maintained when
couples quickly forgive and reconcile instead of harboring anger,
bitterness, or resentment. Ephesians 4:26–27 warns against letting
anger give place to the devil.
vi. Accountability and Fellowship: Belonging to a strong/sound
Christian ministry that believes in the undiluted truth, attending the
same church, and joining couples’ fellowship provide accountability and
encouragement. Proverbs 27:17 – “Iron sharpeneth iron; so, as man
sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”
vii. Raising Godly Seeds: Couples should promote holiness by teaching
their children biblical values, modeling righteousness in their home,
and resisting worldly influences- Malachi 2:15, Prob22:6.
viii. Witnessing Through Marriage: A holy and righteous marriage
becomes a light to the world (Matthew 5:16). When couples live in love,
purity, and faithfulness, they encourage other believers and win
unbelievers to Christ.