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To-Commit-Them-51352442: 4.8 Out of 5.0 (64 Reviews)

Educational resource: (Ebook) Cool to Be Kind : Random Acts and How to Commit Them by Val Litwin; Chris Bratseth; Brad Stokes; Erik A Hanson; Catherine Ryan Hyde; Catharine Ryan Hyde; Catherine Ryan Hyde ISBN 9781554906529, 1554906520 Instantly downloadable. Designed to support curriculum goals with clear analysis and educational value.

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CooltobeKind_LightningSource_Cover_Cool_to_beKind_FINAL_COVER 10/15/09 9:40 AM Page 1

HANSON & BRATSETH


In August of 2002, four 20-something rebels with a cause packed a motorhome in

LITWIN, STOKES
Victoria and embarked upon a three-month non-profit marathon known coast to
coast as The Extreme Kindness Tour. Their mission: to commit as many random acts
of kindness in as many Canadian communities as possible. From Mile 0 to
St. John’s, the boys spent nights on the street with the homeless, staffed soup
kitchens, roofed houses, swabbed decks, delivered flowers, visited hospitals, and
staged protests. Here the Kindness Crew share resources and testimonials to
document their Trans-Canadian adventures (first seen on a global Web show at
extremekindness.com) in a candid tribute to the memorable people and places
sure to offer inspiration to those ready to hit the road with kind acts of their own.

RANDOM ACTS AND HOW TO COMMIT THEM


Val Litwin has a degree in English Literature from the University of Victoria
and ran in a federal election while still in his teens. Erik Hanson is one of
Canada’s top extreme athletes and represented Canada in Brazil at the 2000 World
Surfing Championships. Chris Bratseth has a degree in Geography and is

COOL TO BE KIND
completing his Masters Degree in Wellness Studies at UVic. Brad Stokes
obtained an English Literature degree from UVic as he nursed his mother through
terminal cancer. She became a source of inspiration for the tour and this book. The
Kindness Crew is also planning a 2005 U.S. tour.

“… after reading their first-person accounts in this book I feel as if someone has
opened a door and let me in, helped me see ‘what it was really like.’ This book
magically allows me to feel I was there for all of it. It will do the same for you. In
fact, after you read this book, you might find that it has inspired your very own
kindness movement….”
— Catherine Ryan Hyde, author of Pay It Forward

“A delightfully inspirational book about the power of a small band of people to


make a big difference. Read it and help our world become a better place.”
— Robin Sharma, author of the #1 international bestsellers
The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and The Saint, The Surfer and The CEO

ECW Press
$17.95 U.S., $19.95 Canada
ISBN: 978-1-55022-652-2

ecwpress.com ECW

Trim Size: 5.5 x 8.5” Spine Size:.621


Copyright © Val Litwin, Brad Stokes, Erik Hanson, and Chris Bratseth, 2004

Published by ecw Press


2120 Queen Street East, Suite 200, Toronto, Ontario, Canada m4e 1e2

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored


in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any process — electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise — without the prior written
permission of the copyright owners and ecw Press.

national library of canada cataloguing in publication

Cool to be kind: random acts of kindness and how to commit them /


Val Litwin . . . [et al.].

isbn 978-1-55022-652-2

1. Kindness. i. Litwin, Val

bj1533.k5c66 2004 177'.7 c2004-900107-8

some names have been changed to respect privacy

Editing: Joy Gugeler


Cover and Text Design: Tania Craan
Production and Typesetting: Mary Bowness
Printing: Lightning Source

This book is set in Minion.

The publication of Cool to Be Kind has been generously supported


by the Canada Council, the Ontario Arts Council, the Government
of Canada through the Book Publishing Industry Development Program.

printed and bound in the united states


RANDOM ACTS AND
HOW TO COMMIT THEM

VAL LITWIN, BRAD STOKES,


ERIK HANSON, AND CHRIS BRATSETH

ECW PRESS
Praise for the best-selling Cool to be Kind:

“A powerful corrective to all those who think Canadian


youth is characterized by indifference. Even the jaded
should find these four remarkable young people an
inspiration, if the story doesn’t shame them.”
— The Globe and Mail

“They’re goodlums. I’m with the guys from Extreme


Kindness!” — Vicki Gabereau

“Virtual Angels” — Elle

“Sometimes the stars align and that’s pretty cool.


Something like that can have a lasting effect — it’s
kismet.” — Publishers Weekly

“They were very positive and managed to make that


cool. Their message was very much focused on how we
treat other people and how important that is to who we
are.” — Victoria Times-Colonist

“The book is full of heart-warmth.” — Toronto Sun

“Inspirational, honest, and thoughtful . . . The book’s


optimism is infectious.” — Shared Vision
We would like to dedicate this book to friends and family
whose infinite kindness, love, and compassion allowed
us to realize a grand dream; we took over your homes,
borrowed your cars, ate your food, and still you sup-
ported us: Judy and Devon Stokes-Bennett, Colleen and
Dave Bratseth, Michael and Grania Litwin, Wayne and
Maggie Hanson, Jamie Beuthin and, of course, Lorraine
Wilson. Special love and thanks to our superhuman sup-
port crew of Jonathon Bratseth, David Crow, Kelly
Seaman, and Dan Cox.


fore word
catherine ryan hyde

The day I first got wind of the Kindness Crew, I was in a


nondescript hotel room listening to . I was travelling
extensively, and continuously, to promote Pay It Forward
— both my book and the subsequent film. I was likely
getting ready to attend a city-wide read of the book, or
was on my way to address a school on behalf of the Pay
It Forward Foundation. Cities were declaring themselves
“The Pay It Forward City” of their state, mayors were
proclaiming “Pay It Forward Day” in their towns. The
events and ideas were staggering; I had never seen a
groundswell quite like this.
 Headline News droned in the background as I
ironed an outfit for the event. I snapped to attention
when I heard someone say “Pay It Forward.” I sat and
waited until it cycled around again. There they were:
Chris, Val, Erik, and Brad. They introduced themselves as
ExtremeKindness.com. Erik played little riffs on his
trombone as they stopped total strangers on the street to
serve them food at outdoor tables. They were out there
paying it forward, and planning a coast-to-coast tour. I
would have to drop them a line.
A few months later they were hugging me, one by one


(and all on videotape) at the airport in Halifax, Nova
Scotia. I was at the tail end of a long Pay It Forward run
myself. I’d come from a city-wide read of the book in
New Jersey, several days in New York, and a trip by train
upstate to keynote a Pay It Forward conference at a state
university. After briefly joining the Crew in Nova Scotia,
I would be on to Toronto to speak to the Ontario
Hospital Association on behalf of Pay It Forward
Canada. My life was full of these tributes to real-life Pay
It Forward heroes, but these heroes were different some-
how; they would be the ones who really stood out.
After a few years of The Pay It Forward Movement, I
find I have tons of friends I’ve never actually met in
places I’ve never actually been. People find my email
address on the web and share ideas. I have pen pals all
over the world. When I toured Australia and New
Zealand on behalf of Pay It Forward, I was able to hook
up with two friends I’d never met. It was the same in
Beaverton, Oregon and in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
The Crew and I were joined at the kick-off press con-
ference by my Internet friend and pen pal, Barry. Quiet
and reserved as he seemed, I’ll be darned if he didn’t don
a paper chef’s hat, load up on fresh-baked cookies pro-
vided by the Citadel Hotel, and hit the cold streets with us.
We gave cookies to strangers walking by on the street,
walked up to people in cars. We had scarves from the hotel
with Pay It Forward logos on them, which we gave to
homeless people. (Why are they always so easy to find? In
just about any city, when I’ve been part of any street-based
Pay It Forward plan to aid the homeless with food or


warm clothes, we never have trouble finding them. I long
for the day when we go out to provide for the homeless
and just can’t seem to locate any.) They had cookies that
day, and scarves for a long time to come. Later I would
receive a letter from Barry, telling me what a wonderful
and memorable day that had been for him. Funny how
you set out to save those less fortunate then yourself and
by the time it’s all over, you wonder who saved whom.
There were more adventures, of course. I’d love to tell
you about Spa Day, how it felt to walk down a busy street
in Nova Scotia, at temperatures well below zero, in an icy
wind, accompanied by a group of young men wearing
white terry bathrobes and flip-flops. Oh, yes, and did I
mention they were carrying a sofa? But they’ll tell you
about all of those adventures themselves, quite capably,
before this book is over. In their own words, as it should be.
After three days of changing the world (albeit in small
ways) as a newly formed team, we all sat in the hotel
restaurant having breakfast. Through the window we
could see the hotel sign that advertised the temperature.
It was hovering around zero and it was snowing, hard,
blanketing the Citadel high on the neighbouring hill.
There were predictions that the snow might turn to rain
before I had to fly out. A person could get snowed in and
I didn’t want that, did I? I wanted to go home. Didn’t I?
Erik had just gotten back from giving a free surfing
lesson. The guys were explaining how cranberry juice
had been a big part of staying healthy after so much hard
time on the road. We talked about this book, just a good
idea at the time, and about the upcoming U.S. tour. Kelly


had an idea for a Pay It Forward documentary. Their
tour was almost done; tentative energy hung in the air.
You know the stuff I mean: “It was great, but it’s almost
over. It’s almost time to return to our lives the way they
were before this happened. What was that like again?”
I had to go back to my room and work on my speech
for Toronto. Throughout the morning, one by one, the
guys came to my room to exchange a few last thoughts
and say goodbye.
I realized that I envied them for what they’d experi-
enced; this tour had been a complete life-changer for
them and I’d missed the vast majority of it. They’d go on
to Newfoundland, and I was on my way home.
My association with the Crew didn’t stop there,
though. It was shortly after the end of the tour that I got
a follow-up letter from Chris. “On a tragic note, someone
has pirated our Web site and put it up for auction on
eBay.” I looked on eBay, and sure enough, there it was:
Extemekindness.com. I remembered my first glimpse of
them on  saying in unison, “and we are . . .
ExtremeKindness.com!” That’s who they were. Nobody
should be able to take that away.
I bid on it, hoping to win it and give it back, but the
pirate threw us a curve. He ended the auction early and
cancelled all the bids. In a panic, I contacted him. It
turned out he was getting better offers directly, off eBay,
so I tried to be one of those better offers. It didn’t seem
to be working, though. The price was getting danger-
ously close to the “more than I can manage” level.
I called Erik and said, “I don’t know if it’ll work or


not, but I tried. I’ve done everything I can do.” We would
just have to wait.
But, while I was waiting, it hit me. Maybe I hadn’t
done everything it was in my power to do; I hadn’t told
the pirate why it was so important, why I wanted the site
so badly. He didn’t even know who Val, Chris, Brad, and
Erik were. He knew nothing about the Crew. Would he
even care? I had no idea. But I also had nothing to lose,
so I sent him the following message by email. I saved it,
so this is verbatim:
Let me just tell you why it is I want the site so badly.
Maybe it won’t make any difference, but I have to at
least try. The guys that owned this site are the
Kindness Crew. They quit their jobs, ran themselves
ragged to get funding, gave up their rented homes,
and travelled all across Canada doing acts of kind-
ness. They were inspired by my book, Pay It
Forward. The reason the site is so hot is because of
their good work, because of the really positive content
they created. It made people feel good. Of course, the
site will cool down when people realize it doesn’t
belong to them. Maybe your other buyers are smart
enough to figure it out, maybe not. But, just so you
know . . . You say you are an ethical man. As far as I
know, I am the only one trying to buy the site to give
it back to the Kindness Crew. You would make a good
profit, and there is a lot of good karma involved. If
you care about stuff like that. Maybe you don’t.
Maybe an extra hundred means more to you. If so,
maybe I could even cough up an extra hundred. I


just wanted to take one last chance, to see what kind
of guy you are. This Web site means everything to
the Kindness Crew. And I really love those guys. I
spent three days with them on their tour in Nova
Scotia. They are the best. I am trying to buy this as
a present for them. If that makes any difference. I
just thought I’d take one last shot, and say my piece.
Thanks.

He responded with a private auction, selling me the


site. I guess even Internet pirates are moved by this stuff.
There’s really only one exaggeration in that letter —
when I said they were inspired by my book. These guys
don’t need inspiration; they are inspiration. I think the
book and movie may have played some small role and it’s
great they used the phrase to deputize others to increase
acts of kindness in the world, but any attempt to take
credit for their actions would misrepresent us both. I
didn’t teach these guys to be kind, nor did I need to. The
rest of what I said is true: they are the best and it’s easy
to love people who put so much love into the world.
The point of the story is that what started out as the
least kind, least altruistic note of the entire Kindness
Crew project became another of its real triumphs. What
could have been a terrible lesson in human nature had a
happy ending. Kindness won out again.
I have a couple of souvenirs from the tour: a warm
knit hat, and a scarf with a Pay It Forward logo, a photo
of me doing a live national  television interview on a


freezing Halifax street corner while Val, dressed in just a
bathrobe and toque, gave me a shoulder massage, and
the sense that I was brought in to be a tiny part of it all.
The Crew and I still keep in touch and though I missed
most of this life-changing tour, now I don’t mind. I feel
better after reading their first-person accounts in this
book. It’s a great feeling, as if someone opened a door and
let me in, let me experience it for myself, helped me see
“what it was really like.” This book magically allows me to
feel I was there for all of it. It will work for you, too. In
fact, after you read this book, you might find that you are
there, experiencing it for yourself. Maybe your own
kindness project will be smaller than what you’ll read in
this book, but it doesn’t matter. There’s no wrong way to
commit acts of kindness; a little bit from all of us would
change the world. Let yourself be inspired, you might be
surprised.


PREFACE — Chris

At noon the nurses called us to her room. Devon, Brad’s


sister, was already inside stroking her mother’s forehead.
Brad moved to the other side of the bed and held Judy’s
weak hand. Her breathing was shallow, a rattling in the
back of her throat. Her skin was pale and her body
emaciated. Death was moments away. Her breath slowed,
then stopped. Silence inhabited the sterile room.
We looked at each other uncertainly — we’d never
done this before. Brad groaned in pain and collapsed by
Judy’s side. We faced the reality of the situation: how
were her children going to cope? Brad and Devon had no
family — no father, no grandparents — we were their
family.
Silently, I promised Judy that her life would move me
to make a difference. Throughout our years in university
together, Judy was a mother figure to all of us, her affec-
tion and advice knew no bounds. I wanted to return her
kindness to the world, to give back rather than give up.
Judy embodied kindness. She was love while she lived,
and was returned to love in death. Her spirit would live
on in every act of love and kindness we committed.


Introduction — Chris

Erik, Brad, and I grew up together playing high school


rugby in Powell River, a small coastal mill town, five
hours north of Vancouver. We attended university
together in Victoria and for four years we held tight to
our friendship through rugby scrums, late-night road
trips, and many, many term papers. Like most starving
students, we worked nights at restaurants looking for a
free meal and money for the month’s rent. That’s where
I met Val. Although our academic backgrounds differed
(Val was an English Literature major and I was in geo-
graphy), we discovered a mutual interest in pursuing
careers in media. We were both committed to the goal of
using television to improve lives. With Erik we began to
define a vision that would eventually allow us to change
the world through kindness. Brad was there to share the
dream and, after taking care of his ailing mother for two
years, he was ready to join the team.
At the time, “reality television” was just beginning to
grow in popularity, but after witnessing the distorted real-
ity presented in these series, we were even more inspired
to develop a show that discouraged conflict (“if it bleeds it


leads”) and was grounded in social change. We believed
we could create television that inspired and informed
while entertaining; television that focused on solutions
rather than problems; television that empowered people
by giving them tools to change their lives.
Together, we strived to develop a “reality” show based
on a group of real friends rather than one contrived for
the purpose of building drama and conflict. We wanted
to create an opportunity for audiences to witness real
people who wanted to make a difference in the world
and who were doing it in fresh, entertaining ways. With
a hand-held camera we began to shoot an Internet Web
show with the express purpose of helping others to “seize
the day.” It featured four segments, the first, “Urban
Active Extreme,” offered urban adventures to parking
police, stockbrokers, and anyone willing to be kidnapped
from work to play tennis or head into the heart of the
city for skateboarding lessons. All participants embraced
our guerilla filmmaking and people marvelled at the
release of breaking away from the norm.
In the segment “Top  Experiences,” we helped
people realize one thing they dreamed of doing in the
course of their lifetimes. Cameras rolling, we interviewed
a taxi driver who had always wanted to eat peanuts at a
Yankees game, a child who wanted to ride an elephant
bareback, and a university student who wanted to travel
to Everest’s base camp. With our $ camera and ¢
budget we couldn’t help too many financially, but we
were hopeful that our own dream of having a television
show would be fulfilled and perhaps then we could make


a few of theirs come true. Our Web site was soon inun-
dated with requests from dreamers who shared their
stories with other like-minded Internet adventurers from
around the world.
During the segment “Random Travels,” we dug into
our shallow pockets and with $ travelled on the cheap
to Mexico to prove that adventure could be completely
spontaneous and low-cost. With the cheapest flight
coming in just over $, we would each have less than
$ to survive the week. While travelling in Mexico we
experienced the kindness of strangers as locals sheltered
us from torrential downpours under their tin roofs, or
helped us navigate the jigsawed streets.
On one of the last days in Mexico, after a knee-buckling
ride up the Pacific coast to the small village of Yelapa,
Erik, in his broken Portu-Spanish ( per cent Portuguese
from his time spent in Brazil and  per cent Spanish),
tried connecting with the locals under the sun-shaded
roofs of a café. When he saw bricks being tossed from the
hull of a wooden fishing boat sitting in a foot of water,
Erik volunteered us for a couple of hours of back-breaking
labour. (The locals were building a school and needed
help stacking the bricks into piles on the beach.) Erik’s
misadventures almost always involved something physi-
cally extreme and often painful. He stood on the gunnels
of the boat and hurled bricks while Val added each brick
to a growing block. We bellowed rugby songs that
announced for the first time that we were the Kindness
Crew. The locals couldn’t help but laugh at the “gringos”
who would rather sling bricks than Coronas and they


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