52 Chapter 4: Results MMO CHARACTER DESIGN: CREATING THEMSELVES One of the themes that stood out in my interviews was

the players choice of character. The character a player creates and chooses to play can have meaning. Some play a character once, just to see how it feels. Some play the same type of character in each MMO they play, creating almost a carbon copy of their last creation. Others choose mostly unique creations, but tend to have one small but important aspect remain the same. Still others claim that their character creation does not follow any trends, and they create characters according to what they are feeling at the time. Investment in a character can sometimes reach thousands of hours of playtime, so players rarely create a character without putting serious thought into it. The strong link between the identity of the player and that of the character also makes this process a very meaningful one. In a sense, the player is not just creating a character, they are creating themselves. Therefore, choices they make when creating a character can say a lot about the player doing the creating. In order to better understand those choices, we must look at what choices are available when creating a new character and the context within which they are made, as well as what players say about those choices, in their own words. All major MMOs are combat simulations. Almost every facet of the game revolves around warfare, combat, attacking and killing your enemies. Even characters that dont do any killing themselves (which is rare) perform jobs that enable other characters to kill faster or safer. The goal of the game is to make your character better. The player does this by gaining experience1 from killing opponents in the game. When

Experience is a number assigned to challenges based on their difficulty. The harder the challenge, the more experience gained by the character.

53 the players character has killed enough opponents and has reached a certain amount of experience they gain a level2. With that level the player receives new powers, abilities or strengths. These new abilities make the character better at killing opponents, and allow it to keep gaining levels and become stronger and stronger. It is a circular logic you must kill things in order to gain levels, so you can get stronger, so you can kill things more effectively. So, when a player creates a character in an MMO the basic purpose for that character is combat. The options afforded to the player when they create a character in an MMO are vast. The first thing a player does when they start playing an MMO is design the character they are going to play. It is typically done on what is called the character creation screen. The character in the process of creation floats on the screen and can be altered however the player chooses, within the constraints of the particular game. These alterations are made to both the characters surface appearance and its function within the game. There are multiple levels of creation in all MMOs. In most MMOs the player first chooses their profession, which can also be referred to as the characters class. This usually defines what the characters role will be in the game, and what abilities they will have access to. When a player chooses the characters profession the player is choosing the role the character will play in battle. To name a few examples, players can choose to be a warrior, archer, wizard, or healer. Each of these classes has different strengths, weaknesses and styles of play. For example, warriors are the first to enter combat; they get close to the enemy and attack them with handheld weapons. They are much tougher
Levels are a numerical means to reference a characters power in comparison to other characters in the game. Characters start off at level 1 and work their way up to the highest level in the game. The word level can also used as a verb as in I am about to level.
2

54 than other characters and can take much more punishment from the opponents. Wizards, on the other hand, are very weak physically and die very fast if an opponent is attacking them. The trade-off for this is that they are very potent offensively -- able to do huge amounts of damage to the enemies by casting magic spells from afar. Healers are usually relatively weak at both defense and offense, but are able to help the other players by healing them or making them stronger. What profession a player chooses, and why, can shed light on what the game means to them. The next element of creation the player chooses is usually race3. MMOs are often populated by an assortment of humanoid species such as ogres, orcs, dwarves, elves, lizardmen, and various others. Usually each race has inherent strengths and weaknesses that tend to correspond with professions. Two extremes of this concept are ogres and elves. Ogres are usually big, strong and dumb, which usually makes them good warriors, but bad wizards. Elves on the other hand are usually weak physically, intelligent and proficient with magic, making them good mages, but bad warriors. The next selection is gender. This choice does not impact your character like profession or race. In the world of MMOs male is just as good as female, and the choice will have no affect on your characters strengths, weaknesses or abilities. Although it is not crucial to the game dynamics, gender selection does have two impacts on a character. The first is purely aesthetic. Female characters look different, move differently, wear different clothing, and make different sounds than male characters. For instance, in most MMOs female characters have a very stereotypical, barbiesque body and facial features, run and walk in a seductive, hip-shaking manner, wear sexy, often revealing clothing
3

The word race in MMOs actually refers to species. Although you can often give your character different skin tones and facial features so you may be able to make a human that looks African-American, Asian or White, the difference would be purely aesthetic and has no impact on the game design.

55 (even when it is supposed to be armor), and make high pitched grunts when they exert themselves. Male characters, on the other hand, usually have more large and bulky bodies, lack the hip-shake of the women characters, wear the full, non-revealing version of clothing, and make very deep grunting noises when exerting themselves. The other impact gender selection has on a character is social how other players interact with that character based on the characters gender. How a player feels about these interactions has a lot to do with gender selection in character creation, and with continuation of play as that character, once created. The final level of character customization is purely cosmetic, and perhaps the most personal. After the selections of race, class and gender have been made, the player chooses the outward appearance of their character. The level of intricacy of choice in this level of creation is different in each game, but even the most basic offer thousands of different combinations of skin and hair color, hair style, facial features, height, weight and musculature. The most complicated character creator engines4 offer an infinite variety of individualization, and allow the player to generate a truly unique creation which players often develop an attachment to. IMMERSION One of the most important aspects of my interviews is the connection between my subjects and their characters. Identifying with their characters was something that my subjects seemed to take for granted. One moment they would speak of their avatar as their character, the next they would refer to it as themselves. It was as if the terms my character and me were interchangeable. When Clay spoke of the time he bought an in-game item on ebay.com for five hundred American dollars, he said he didnt feel bad
4

Character creation programs can be extremely complex, and are referred to as engines.

56 about the purchase because at the time he was playing a lot and it made his life easier. He said, For 6 hours a day I am Tirador. That sword made me stronger. When understood in this light, my subjects and their characters are one and the same. Many of the subjects spoke about this tie between them and their character, and statements like Clays are interspersed throughout this chapter. By playing MMOs, the player is inherently creating a new identity. Through the character design process and the act of immersion, players can become someone else. The question remains, is there evidence that players are actively manipulating those identities, and are there patterns to that behavior? Does the anonymity of MMOs allow players to test out and experience different identities? What identities are they creating, and how does that relate to their offline selves? Are players using the hypermasculine world of MMOs to conduct masculinity maintenance? Are players using MMOs to manipulate their moods and escape from their real lives? Are players using MMOs as a vehicle to inter-personal relationships, and how is that impacted by anonymity? Is there some relationship between older men and their play styles, preferences or experiences with MMOs? Answers to these questions may be found by turning to the words of the subjects. ANONYMITY: FREEDOM TO EXPLORE It appears that players immerse themselves over a wide variety of identities, and with the assistance of anonymity, they are able to experiment and explore these many identities. Ivan said he felt self-discovery was for him the most unique aspect of MMOs. He said that because of the anonymity that the internet provides, players can act however they want, without fear of the consequences.

57 There is this sense that you learn something. Its a protective situation, the anonymity of the internet lets you explore options with not the same degree of risk that you have in a face-to-face interaction. In real life there may be some physical consequence to the things you say, you know. People in a face-to-face interaction are much more driven by a mob mentality or a popular mentality so that you behave or perform in a certain way around these people according to whatever preconceptions people have. In an internet setting you are free to say or do what you want and see what the group reaction is to it. And then agree or disagree to it based on you emotional reaction to it, so its a powerful tool in that sense that you can explore things that you might not otherwise explore and to kind of build your own personality and self respect in a way. (Ivan) Steve also spoke about the value of exploring different identities in-game. I think there are people who do use it as a trial ground. How would I feel if I did this? MMOs tend to be engaging enough that I think you can have a legitimate emotional response for doing something you know is wrong if it happens to another person. If Im playing GTA5 and I shoot somebody in the face, theres no repercussion. But if nothing else, if I do that to somebody in an MMO, Im causing them some amount of grief. Even if its nothing more than they have to respawn6 and pay a little repair on their equipment, I have caused them a little bit of grief. So deep down, you can experiment with these emotions and feelings and you know that this is not right. But being told something is not right and experiencing that its not right are two different things. In a virtual world you are allowed to, with varying consequences, experiment with that. Ivan said his father was a psychologist, had been to therapy himself, and felt that MMOs provided a similar environment for self-discovery and improvement. How do you get to know yourself better? People go to see psychologists so that they get an outside perspective on their own thoughts so that they get sort of an outside-in view to see where there thoughts fit in, or if anyone else understands it. The virtual world almost provides the same mirror on human interaction. Even though most people dont want to admit it, its the same almost as talking to a psychologist. Its like, Im going to say some things that are personal, Im going to interact with people. Im going to act kind of recklessly as I might if I didnt have any

Grand Theft Auto is a famously violent video game which has no PvP content. Somebody here refers to an NPC (non player character). 6 When a character dies in a game there is usually some mechanism for resurrection of the character. In some games this is relatively simple, in others it can be a time consuming and difficult process. The resurrection is referred to as respawning.

58 kind of pressures. When youre one on one with a psychologist theres the same protection of your privacy. This ability to experiment with different identities and find either acceptance or rejection, completely free from any long term public shame or real life consequences makes the voyage of self-discovery a fairly painless one, especially compared to the pitfalls and drama that can often be associated with normal, real world versions. It appears that for some players, the freedom from consequences or ridicule that anonymity provides does foster an environment suitable for identity exploration and discovery. What Ivan and Steve describe reflects Eriksons theory of psychosocial development and the concepts of identity confusion and exploration. It does seem that gamers in the midst of an identity moratorium are using the features of MMOs which encourage identity exploration to test out various roles and identities in an attempt to discover who they are. In this way, MMOs act as a psychosocial moratorium for individuals experiencing a crisis of identity versus identity confusion. PERFORMANCE: YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO Exploration is just one facet of players use of in-game identity creation. Exploration involves an element of the unknown. Players test out identities because they are unsure how they will feel. After the initial testing they then determine if they like the fit, and either stick with it or move on to another. It is possible that players may explore an identity for extended periods of time, but there seems to be a type of identity performance in which the player is fully aware of the intricacies of an identity, yet chooses to play that role anyway. There are players who find an identity that works for them and subsequently create the same identity over and over, and spend long periods of time, even years, in that identity. It is likely that this is explained by the principles of

59 symbolic interaction. When a player acts out a role in an MMO they are performing on stage much as described by Goffman. Their actions while playing that character are symbolic interactions which strengthen and reinforce the reality they are playing. When a player acts out an identity, and performs the symbolic interactions of that identity, they become that identity. So when a player chooses to play a particular identity out of the thousands that are available, over and over, there must be something about that identity that appeals to them. There appear to be two categories of this type of performance: performances that reinforce and perpetuate expectations, and those that defy them. Conformity Fulfilling Expectations The generalized other can be seen to have both constructive and restrictive influences on the individual. Societys expectations for individuals can give them purpose and meaning in their lives, but it can also be constrictive, limiting an individuals choices. How an individual reacts to these expectations is determined by countless factors. One common way people react is by attempting to live up to the standards laid out for them. People do this by performing symbolic interactions associated with the role expected of them, thereby becoming what is expected of them. Or, as Cooley states, what people think is expected of them. As with the looking-glass self, it is what we think others think and feel about us that drives us to mirror their expectations. Players can often be seen performing roles in MMOs that reinforce their real life role of choice, a role they may feel they are supposed to play. Mirror Images: Playing the Role of You Many of the subjects spoke of how the characters they created and played resembled themselves in some way. Bill said over the course of his gaming career he had

60 noticed he tended to play characters that were jack of all trades, characters that perform multiple roles, so that he was able to make impacts on several different levels. When asked how he compared himself to his characters he said that he felt his role was similar to his role as a game store owner. I guess its kind of like running the store, you know a lot about a lot of different things. We dont just carry one particular product line. Were not just miniatures, were not just role-playing, not just board games. I think you need to know a little about everything. Maybe thats part of it. Im not a great computer programmer, Im not an auto mechanic, but I know how to do things, and I try things. Sometimes I just get a professional to do it. Theres probably a little bit of a correlation there. So, in a way, Bill brings aspects of his life into the game with him, performing his real life identity in the game. Eddie connects with his characters on many different levels. He said he prefers to play magic casters7. When I asked him why, he said, I think its my personality. Im not the type of person thats going to charge into melee8 combat. I prefer ranged. I usually use intelligence or types of spells or magics to assist my group. I found this interesting as it seemed to fit Eddies real life self. Eddie did not seem like a very physical person; in fact he was the opposite. He curled his legs up under him during the interview and seemed to like to make himself as small as possible. Eddie said that he also shares core values and morals with his characters. The characters I tend to play usually have a sense of honor and they focus on spells and magic. So that goes into the fact that Ive always respected others and been honorable in games. There are cheap things you can do, dishonorable team killing or player killing or camping corpses9. I dont do that because I have a sense of honor. Other players may, and it can reflect
7 8

Performing magic is referred to as casting. Someone who casts magic spells is a caster. Combat in MMOs is separated into melee and ranged. Melee takes place at close range with hand held weapons, ranged combat happens at distances with projectiles or magic spells. 9 There are certain techniques used by players that are considered dishonest, usually because they exploit an unfair advantage.

61 on them that they dont have honor. I play as an intelligent, or attempt to be intelligent, character with a sense of trying to lead people. But I dont want glory, so usually I will promote other people or give other people options when I lead them so they get the glory. But I feel I have actually have made the difference. The line between Eddie and his characters seems to be very faint. What his character accomplishes is what he accomplishes, and he is the one who feels the glory. When the character being played is so similar to the person playing, perhaps the sense of empathy for what the character is experiencing in-game is more intense. Eddie spoke of a long, grueling process in the MMO Planetside which a player had to go through in order to reach a special rank in the game, Command Rank 5, or CR5. After 6 months of successfully leading teams against others in PvP10 battles, Eddie finally reached the highest level in the game and had access to the most crucial ability in the game. Once you got that ability, unlike most games where its just something that happens, all of a sudden youre an important person in the world. Everybody knows you, because there are very few CR5s. So getting CR5 is something that gave a lot of significance to myself and it made me feel important. [emphasis added] When his character reaches this level of importance, Eddie does as well, and the feelings that accompany that achievement are very real. Rob stated that he has noticed a correlation between the characters he creates and his real life identity both in appearance and personality. I think when I build a male, especially with my first character, Ive noticed Ive done this, Ill make the characters look like me, as much as possible. I did that in CoH11, my first person I created. I made it like I would be in that situation. My main characters are usually healers just because I dont really see myself as somebody who likes to go out and hurt things. Like I said, I like to help people so I usually take the healers and the support
10

The majority of time spent in MMOs is PvE, or player versus environment, where the opponents are computer controlled, non-player characters, also known as NPCs. PvP, or player versus player game play involves players playing both with and against other players. 11 City of Heroes is a super hero style MMO.

62 characters. Aggressive does not really describe me at all really. Im a lover not a fighter. Rob not only makes characters that are similar to himself, but ones that can do what he would like to do but cannot. Rob said he would like to be a doctor. I guess thats a personal trait I have, I like to help people. Although Rob is not a doctor in real life, he feels this is why he enjoys playing healers in MMOs. I would like to be a doctor or something like that, so I guess healing is kind of my way. Rob tends to make male characters that are idealized versions of him. Ideal You - Masculine You A crucial part of a mens identity is their masculinity. As discussed earlier, this aspect of mens lives is one that often requires frequent maintenance. Performing masculine roles in MMOs may provide that maintenance for players. All but two of the men said they preferred playing male characters. When I asked Ivan why he preferred playing males he said, I dont pick a whole lot and when I do its always just a male character to begin with. I dont know, I guess Ive always identified with characters that are more like me. Bud flatly said that he designs and plays as male characters in MMOs, [s]imply because I like to echo myself when I do it. It may be that identifying with their character is easier when it is similar to them. Bud also said he tended to play male characters that were like him, but an exaggeration of him, how he would like to be. Bud said he likes to play warriors, mash em up type guys. When I asked him why, he said: I dont knowI kind of wish that I had ayou know, muscular physique and had unmatched endurance and stamina and all that. For body type I usually try to make them look similar to me but much bigger, always go for much better. Primarily I think its just the ability to create what you want for yourself and just do it.

63

Bud clearly states that he wishes he had certain traits in the real world which he subsequently chooses to embody in his characters in MMOs. It is interesting to note that for Bud bigger seems to mean better, which is a very masculine attitude, and warrior mash em up type guys are very masculine characters. -Becoming a hero Most of the subjects shared a common definition of heroism. The main trend was self sacrifice. Bud said, For me, a hero is someone who is self sacrificing. Al said, A hero is somebody who lays their life on the line by choice, not expecting anything in return. That is a hero. Clay said, Anyone who is willing to do stuff for other people with no compensation for themselves. Thats a hero. Rob said: Somebody that does whatever they can for somebody else or a group of people or their environment, someone that goes out of their way to make things better around them, at the expense, that could possibly end their life. So people that risk their lives for other people, people that die for other people, people that disregard how. People dont really take into account how they are going to look after they do something, they just do it for the greater good. Eddie said in the back stories he writes the hero always has a similar tale: Generally my depiction of a hero is someone who relates to honor, courage, chivalry and everything. He is going to become a savior of a certain group, his honor, his race, someone who does something that no one else has the resolve to do, the guts to do. But he decided its the best course of action to sacrifice himself to accomplish the goal. The intersection of MMOs and heroism was discussed by many of my subjects. When talking about heroism Ivan mentions its connection with gaming: Where a person is going to sacrifice his own safety or value to give to someone else, selflessly. The person isnt looking for anything in return, he wants to perform on behalf of the needy person or whatnot. The other thing is a sense of honor. I think what is a central theme in the literature or the games or whatnot is theres a character that has a sense of honor.

64 And what I feel honor is, I guess in the clich terms is to do whats right, even though theres nothing, or no one to tell you that thats the right thing to do. Its an internal sense of morality I suppose. Of doing the right thing. And I guess thats all up to personal perspective, but it seems really, really prevalent in all sci-fi/fantasy that there are characters that, in the face of greed and self service, they always choose to do whats better for other people. I guess it ties into self sacrifice. The sense of honor, doing whats right, even in the face of injustice and all that kind of stuff. That has always been really appealing to me. Like Ivan, Bud also talked about the connection between gaming and heroism, In standard RPGs (role-playing games) you still see a lot of the hero stuff, you know the guy who will risk his entire life to go save the kingdom. Eddie, who writes backstories for games, discussed how he felt there is a trend in depictions of heroes in games: Usually the soldier type person or he wants to protect someone but in an aggressive way like he wants to take out everyone to protect this person. He will have feelings and personality, thats where all games are different. Feelings, personality of the character, but he still has to have the basic traits. He has to be an aggressive person, or a person that believes in a way that he is dominating. And it also has to be a person that has experienced trauma, has been in war and trauma, and is now hardened by it. And so he is now immune to trauma. So he doesnt think about other peoples feelings, so he focuses only on his own. Eddies hero is a hypermasculine ideal, aggressive, valiant, heroic, and stoic. When I asked him if he feels his characters in MMOs are heroes Clay told this detailed story about his participation in a player versus player battle: Ill go and deliberately sacrifice myself as a paladin12 on like a flag cap13, because I can sit there and blow consecrate, which is an area affect damage spell, I can keep healing myself, Im wearing plate armor so I can take a lot of damage, I have a crap load of hitpoints. I will sacrifice myself because I can spend a minute keeping myself alive on their flag post. And I know Im never gonna capture that flag. Because theres ten
A paladin is a holy knight which unites the themes of religious healing and armored melee combat. Capture the Flag is a popular PvP style of combat. Participants must cross into their enemys territory, grab their flag and bring it back to their territory, without being killed. The team that captures the predetermined number of flags first, or the most in a time period, wins.
13 12

65 of them beating on me. But theres five flags, and theres fifteen people per side. If Im on one of their flag posts and I have ten of their guys beating on me, that means I have tied up ten of their guys for a minute. That leaves only five of their guys to do something. While the other fourteen guys on my team are out capturing other flags, because theyre not defended. That would be a heroic thing. In other words, when playing MMOs Clay enjoys taking one for the team, sacrificing himself so his team can succeed. Most of my subjects said that at some point in their life they had thought about a career which would have allowed them to be a hero. Bud said, I used to want to join the army, a while back. That was a big thing for me for a while. I used to really want to do that, but physical situations came up that wouldnt allow it. I asked Rob if heroism had anything to do with him joining the military. He said, Yeah. Thats one of the reasons I do what I do now. I joined the military right after Sept 11th. So that was myIt wasnt necessarily to become a hero, it was more to help so it wouldnt come again. Maybe if I did my part I could help heroes continue to do what they do. I asked Phil if heroism was involved in his decision to join the military and he said it did: Yeah thats definitely a reason. Thats definitely something that influenced me to join. Phil also said he felt police officers and firefighters were heroic jobs and thought about doing them himself. I thought about trying to go to school, getting a degree in Criminal Justice or something, but I dont think Id want to do that, because its really dangerous you know? Leonard also felt that police and fire fighters were heroic, and had aspirations of becoming one. When I was little I wanted to be a police man or firefighter. When I got

66 older I almost joined the police academy, but I didnt. I also thought about joining the Peace Corp. Eddie said that he had given joining the military or police force serious consideration, but he turned to video games instead. I have thought about it a lot. A lot of family has been in the military and originally I wanted to be a police officer because I saw how they were. But eventually I lost that grasp and I got into games and everything. But I have always really thought about going into the Navy Air Force, because a lot of the tactics they use they go into the guts of places. They do missions that a lot of people cant do because they dont have those aircraft carriers that are so mobile. They are usually protecting the country and that would place me technically as a hero and Ive thought about that quite often. Seven of the ten subjects reported wanting to join either the military, the police force, or firefighting, and another said he thought about joining the Peace Corp. A common definition of heroism and a desire to be a hero appears to be a common trend among my subjects. It could be that men who are intrigued by the concept of heroism and desire to live out its ideals are drawn to MMOs. It is interesting to note that while both Rob and Phil said heroism played a large part in their choice to join the military, neither of them said they considered themselves heroes. This may be because the jobs they performed in the military were less hands-on type hero work, and more support centered roles. This could also explain why their play in MMOs did not stop or show signs of decrease with the advent of military membership. Even though the majority of my participants entertained the notion of heroic occupations, fewer acknowledged the heroic nature of their characters. When asked if they considered the characters they played in MMOs to be heroes the subjects responses were split down the middle. I found this to be confusing, as plot

67 lines of MMOs tend to focus around going on quests, battling various enemies of your people, and eventually saving the entire kingdom from a possible defeat, against incredible odds. MMOs are filled with images of heroism. Unfortunately, none of the subjects responses offered any meaning to this finding. It may be simply that for only half of the subjects playing a hero in MMOs is a goal. Perhaps the other half finds other aspects of game play more important to them. One could also hypothesize that there are aspects of MMOs that do not actually make it the ideal location for heroism. One possibility is that the never ending nature of MMOs does not fit with conventional definitions of heroism. In MMOs a character never dies completely. They are always able to come back to life for a small penalty. This makes self-sacrifice lose much of its meaning. Also, because of the social, persistent nature of MMOs, your enemy is never completely vanquished. If you eventually win and annihilate the highest level villain in the game, that villain dies for a short period of time, only to come back to life so the next player can defeat it. Another possibility lies in the plot and setting of the particular MMO. For instance, City of Heroes has the word right in its title. There is a very clear emphasis on good and bad, rescue of helpless and innocent citizens, defeat of villains which attempt to hatch evil plots, and other heroic deeds. In City of Heroes, bad guys are often in the act of mugging or harming people on the city streets. After beating up the offending bad guys, the citizens you rescued will then run up to the character and thank them profusely for saving them. World of Warcraft, on the other hand, has a much less clear delineation between good and evil. The races are split up into two opposing sides, the Alliance and the Horde, each playable by the gamers. On the surface the Horde appears to be the

68 standard bad guys: orcs, trolls, minotaurs and the undead (zombies). But once the plot reveals itself the war between the two sides is mostly just a mix-up, and the bad guys are really just misunderstood. This is most likely done intentionally by the writers of the game in order to allow players to empathize with both sides of the war, but they may have unintentionally made heroism less of a game play feature. Without an objectively evil enemy, combat is no longer as heroic; it begins to lean more towards senseless violence. Finally, perhaps the meanings of the games are not so easily reducible; In other words, like people, characters are complex. The importance of achievement in the constitution of characters also emerged in the interviews. -Achievement via character development As described, character development is a process that begins at the characters creation, and continues as the player levels the character, investing time into it, making it stronger, outfitting it with better gear14, earning more powerful abilities. In an MMO, a high level character with powerful, difficult-to-attain gear is the ultimate status symbol. For men in MMOs, it is the equivalent to a real world mansion, exotic sports car and trophy wife. As discussed by David and Brannon, success, status and the need to be looked up to are hallmarks of the masculine identity (1976:89). With the level system of MMOs the sense of achievement is built into the structure, the higher the level the more status you have, and a players level is visible for all other players to see. It is one of the major criteria for understanding another character. As a player builds a character,

14

Gear in MMOs refers to weapons, armor, clothing, jewelry, or any other items a character uses during the game.

69 making it better, more successful, and being seen by others as having a high status, the player feels a sense of achievement and self worth. Many subjects spoke about character development as a major factor in their enjoyment of MMOs. Rob spoke of character development as something that is outside of himself, like a pet. Its kind of like having your own pet. You raise it and you watch it grow. And you teach it new tricks and just enjoy it I guess. Later, when I asked him what his favorite memory from MMOs was he talked about it in reference to himself. I think my first level 50 in CoH, and my first level 70 in WoW. Just reaching that max level, and being up there. Thats probably the biggest I still remember the first time I turned 50 in CoH and 70 on WoW. In this statement Rob speaks as if he had reached the max level, not just his pet, or his character. Clay said, I believe that what draws people to MMOs is character development. He went on to describe how integral character development is to the MMO system. Everything in MMOs is based on getting something. If youre not trying to get something, then why are you playing? Thats why I say character progression. MMOs are really based on character development. When I say character development, I really mean getting loot. Either that or making levels, because making levels makes you more powerful. So you can tackle tougher stuff so you can get better loot. And better loot makes you more powerful so you can tackle tougher stuff and get better loot. Thats the whole point of MMOs, its a treadmill. There are various treadmills in MMOs. Theres the level grind, getting to max level. Theres the loot grind, getting better loot. Theres the reputation grind, because maybe said item you can only buy from the consortium faction, so you have to level the consortium up to whatever level you need to get that item. Theres trade skill grinds. Maybe you want to build the new gyrocopter thats coming out. You need 375 engineering, so you grind that up. MMOs are all about achievement. Its all about working to get what you want. Bill said he also felt this aspect of MMOs was important to him. I like building things. When I used to play computer games, I like games where you build civilization

70 or empires. So in a way, when you play MMOs you are, for me, building a character. Bill also spoke of the endless nature of MMOs. In most games there is an end, a point where you beat the game. MMOs do not have any such conclusion. Due to the monthly subscription fee nature of the game, developers are constantly upgrading the game, adding features and new content, raising the level cap to keep players coming back for more. Bill recognizes this constant treadmill of accomplishment as a major motivation for many players. Leveling your character to the max, or getting that next little item, or finishing that last quest, but theres always more. Thats why these games are there. They want to keep you going, because they want to keep you paying them your monthly fee. Its just like any service thats provided. A movie you see then its done, but then they have sequels. And in the game its just a continuous sequel. Another raid to go on, another quest to complete, another piece of equipment thats better than the one you have, and when they feel youve maxed that out they add more levels and more content. And people have to rush to go do it again. Clay feels that this ongoing aspiration of character development is the main source of players interest in MMOs, and without it, the game loses its meaning. Once you got everything, once you are at max level you have every piece of loot and you have done all the content, you have seen every instance in the game, youve killed the highest monster Why are you still playing the game, because youve beat all the content? So then the game is boring for you and it stagnates. For Clay it seems that it is the process, not the product that is the focusthe journey rather than the destination. Clearly achievement is a major draw for some players. By playing the game and making their character stronger and more powerful, they are becoming stronger and more powerful. The social nature of MMOs makes this sense of achievement visible to others,

71 and indeed, perhaps the draw is that others can see it. There may be an inherent quality of comparison that makes this achievement so special in MMOs. -Success via Competition Achievement, accomplishment, and success are all major components to many mens notion of masculinity. Men are expected to be successful, and it is closely linked to their status in our society. As noted by David and Brannon, Competition is the basic process by which men in America try to achieve the goal of status and success (1976:91). Mens self esteem, how they feel about themselves, can be directly related to their sense of personal achievement. Competition can be a major part of MMO game play, and many of my subjects discussed it at length. Its always a benefit to be able to prove yourself I guess. Its almost like a giant pissing contest, basically. Its a giant competitive contest of I can get to a higher level, I can get bigger weapons. And its continual. [Bud] Competition with other gamers was an aspect of MMOs that many of the subjects enjoyed. Ivan said that player versus player is his favorite style of game play The competitiveness and the challenge of trying to better yourself in the reflexes and the mental acuity aspect to it is challenging and fun at the same time. When I asked him why he played MMOs his reason was the competition. I play them because I enjoy the competition through the PvP aspect. Its mentally engaging, it makes you think about things on an organizational level and theres a trust angle to it15. Ivan also states that in MMOs he is able to be more competitive, and more successful than he is in real life. Its the competitive aspect. In physical sports Ive never been that coordinated and that excellent that I could achieve in something. But for some reason in games that are competitive online Ive always done very well, and I like to do well. I thrive a little bit off the relative standings of things. I like to perform better than the people that are around me, just out
15

In this context trust refers to good teamwork and relying on teammates to perform their role adequately.

72 of habit. Now, I guess that its an expectation. I like to engage in it as if I was going to try to do the best that I can. Its a competitive thing. In order to compensate for inability to compete to the level of success he would prefer in offline competition, Ivan seems to be seeking success online. This evokes the concepts of uses and gratifications theory. Ivan is achieving balance in his life by using media to replace what is missing in his real life. When I asked Bud if he compared his characters to other players characters he turned it from his character directly into himself and said: Do I measure myself against them? Yeah. Im generally better than the average person I think. I just am. Its not that I try to gauge myself against them, but I guess that is a bar, a standard almost, that you would find yourself, even subconsciously pushing towards to be the best. Just like you would in real life. Everyone wants to be the big executive guy whos making six figures and has the blond trophy wife. In the fantasy world, even subconsciously, you want to be the guy with the level 70 character. Bud is not the the big executive guy in real life, although it seems he would like to be. Perhaps this disparity between the success he wants and the success he has causes him to compete with others online for status. Bill said that he felt the level system in MMOs is often a source of competition among players, who use this competition to prove something to others and to themselves. For some people, its a race to be better than anyone else. If I can get done faster, better, more quickly than anyone else, then I must be better than everyone else. He went on to draw parallels between players preference for player versus player and their real lives: I think people that enjoy that [PvP] are people that enjoy being competitive, that enjoy being better than everyone else. Enjoy showing that they have powers. Maybe they dont in real life, maybe they do, I dont know. Maybe theyre lacking something and thats the way that they, at least in something, theyre there [where they want to be].

73 As Bill suggests, it is very possible that competition and achievement as sources of player enjoyment and motivation may be related in some way to aspects of their real lives. It is possible that players relationship with masculinity impacts both players style of play, and time spent playing. Players insecure with their masculinity may use MMOs as a means to act out masculine roles and interactions, thereby performing masculinity maintenance. Escape: Release from Expectations The most common motivation reported by my subjects for playing MMOs was relaxation and stress relief. A common form of stress release and relaxation is to take ones mind off of what is causing them stress. The body and mind needs to be able to forget about stressors in order to return to a balanced state of calm, whether that be through solution of the problem or its temporary avoidance. Eight of the ten subjects mentioned playing MMOs as a means to escape reality. Bud said he thinks most men play for [t]he escape. I think thats why pretty much most people like it. The escape from reality. When I asked him why he enjoyed MMOs Phil said, I guess its kind of like an escape from reality. Its always cool to see things that dont really exist. In order to escape there seems to be a need for the subjects to have something different to go to, something unlike reality. All of the subjects were interested in fantasy from an early age, and all popular MMOs in general, are fantasy based, with realities that are much different than our own. When I asked what subjects enjoy about fantasy and science fiction, and later when I asked them about MMOs, many of them said the dissimilarity to the real world was the appeal for them. Ivan said he enjoyed, [t]he possibility that there is more to life than whats just really out there. Al said he liked

74 [t]he fact that anything goes. Anything that you can think of thats whats can happen and thats whats beautiful about it. Bill said, Its something different, its a different reality. Rob stated, Its just the perception of things that arent everyday, like superpowers, and things that arent possible. People doing what no one else can. Steve said that he feels this is part of the appeal of MMOs. I think gaming in general as a medium allows people to behave in ways that are above and beyond. Because a game that doesnt allow you to do that islife. If Im not going to do this thing thats above the norm, then why do I want to play? I dont want to play a game where I bake bread all day. Bill said the main reason he plays is to relax. He also spoke about how escaping reality and escapism can be seen by others in a negative light. Bill said that although it can be bad when taken to extremes, he did not think it was inherently problematic. Just like when we read or watch movies, or things like that, its also a form of escapism. Life can be boring sometimes. Its long and drudging, and complicated. Wanting a break from that? I think its fine. I mean, whats wrong with that? Rob also reports that he uses MMOs as an escape. I like it because its my escape from reality. Like I can be playing for hours, its somewhere to go more than just something to do. You can actually submerge yourself in a whole different world and enjoy it. He feels it is connected to gender, and as a man he handles stress differently than women, or at least his wife. I think its the way women are built too. Ill use my wife as an example. Well fight, well argue, and shes always the one that wants to express herself either by writing or talking to somebody about it. But for me, I think thats [MMOs] more my get away. I guess some guys, we dont like to talk it through, the communication thing. When I have a bad day at work, I'll come home and thats the way I release. Ill just play. It's my escape from reality, is what I tell my wife. Women like reality, I prefer fantasy.

75 It is important to note that because I did not interview any women I am unable to assess Robs belief that men use escapism as a stress reliever more than women. However, Robs insight may relate to gendered personality differences that gender theorists like David and Brannon (1976) address, and to which I return below. Creating Difference: A Vacation from Normal As we have seen, many players choose to play characters that are similar to themselves, idealized versions of themselves, or characters that fit stereotypes society expects them to fulfill. There are also many players who choose to play characters that are not like them, in fact they sometimes choose characters that are the opposite of their everyday persona. Although Eddie said that he always plays characters that are like him, when I asked him why other men play MMOs his answer was very different. I think most men play MMOs because they can be something theyve always wanted to be. They can be younger, they can be older, they can be wise. If theyre a strict person they can be this humorous person online. And MMOs allow them to interact with other people, even family or friends or just random people and be something that theyre not. So yeah, a lot of people try to make characters based off themselves, but most of the MMO players that Ive met, and Ive met a lot of them, are always completely different than their character. They do that purposely because they want to try something different. So the rough masculine type people want to try something different, be humorous, be joyful, be tiny, be a young weak person that has some special skill or something, they want to try something different with their lives. Eddie is not so different from how he describes other players because, although he tends to share some key features with his characters, in other ways he is very dissimilar to them. Eddie likes playing female characters almost exclusively. When I asked him why, he said it was for aesthetic reasons, that he didnt like the way male characters were designed.

76 I think I generally make female characters because they seem to always look better. The males are always fat people, well they are not always fat but they look like they have not gotten as much attention from the animators as females. I have never played an MMO where the male character actually looks realistic. They are always bulky. This may be Eddies covert explanation for playing female characters, as men who do are sometimes looked down on by other men. Some men can find it awkward dealing with female characters in-game and later finding out the person was actually a man in real life. After dealing with a female character in the usual gendered ways, perhaps even flirting or becoming aroused by that character, and later finding out it was a male player behind the keyboard, men can feel embarrassed and deceived. Clay was particularly put off by the practice and spoke of this phenomenon with disgust, calling them manginas. Although in-game players are protected from the scorn of other males due to anonymity, out of the game that ridicule can be very real. After talking about playing females characters more, and seeing that I was not judging him for it, Eddie said that he enjoyed relating with others as a female. Playing different sex characters isnt like Im choosing to be a girl. Its like I want to do that and get different interactions. Eddie spoke at length about how he was treated differently when he was perceived as a female by other players. If they dont know Im a boy in real life, if they just meet me, if they say something about the game they usually will say something like, well do it or theyll push me back and cast me in a support role. Or if they know that Im a boy then theyre like, you do this or you come up front. So its kind of like, even though youre still playing with them, they try to place you into a role that doesnt seem that important as the roles they play, even if theyre the same class, profession and everything. So I found that if youre a female character or female gamer and play a female character, if they dont know what you are, a girl or a boy, they will place you as a support role or a role thats not as important. You can still do something, but its not seen as a core element. But if they know youre a boy theyll say, Oh, come on up, do this, or something like that. So they kind of relay less important tasks to them.

77 Eddie said he felt this was because male gamers were threatened by female gamers, and couldnt handle the humiliation of being outplayed by a female. These types of observations and interactions may not have been possible for Eddie had he not been able to play as a female character. It is possible that Eddie enjoys experimenting with the role of a female, and coming to understand its subtleties. This reflects the findings of Hussain and Griffiths, who found that gamers engaged in gender swapping as an experiment. One of their interviewees said, It enables me to play around with aspects of my character that are not normally easy to experiment with in real life (2008:50) It is also probable though, that having played female characters so extensively, Eddie enjoys the performance of the female role as well. Bud, who earlier said he usually creates characters similar to him, said that he also occasionally likes to create ones that are different. When I asked Bud if there was a race he tended to play he said he liked to play dark elves16. Just the whole evil undertone behind it is something that is very not me. Its fun because you get to go around hurting people instead of helping them in lieu of what I normally do in real life. This is the opposite of Buds earlier statements regarding how he likes to play characters that are like him, or exaggerations of him. Later Bud echoed this idea. Sometimes I like being as annoying as can be because I usually try to not be annoying. Every once in a while Ill make an extra character or something and be an annoying little retard kind of thing. It seems that Bud likes to be both himself, and the opposite of himself when playing MMOs. It may be that in his earlier example Bud was performing the role of an expected identity in order to reinforce it, and in this example he is releasing himself from those expectations. In relation to Mead, Buds I is given more freedom, reining in the me
16

Dark Elves are the opposite of normal, light skinned elves. They are usually cruel, murderous and evil.

78 and the generalized other and allowing Bud less restrictions. As a helpful, pleasant person in real life, in MMOs Bud may want to escape from that role into something more sinister. It also may be that Bud is exploring what it feels like to be the opposite of his normal self. Designing and playing a character opposite of his real life self is not an occasional type thing for Al. When I asked Al how he compared himself to the characters he plays in MMOs he said: As opposite as possible. As a general rule Im generally about as opposite as you can get. I pick speed guys, ya know, fast guys, magic casters, things that Im definitely not, well put it that way. Al repeated this idea of opposites on several different occasions. Al said he likes to play magic casters, and if it shoots big fireballs Im all for it, essentially. When I asked him why, he said: Maybe because its the most opposite of whats physically capable of happening in real life? Its the most imaginative because its just completely asinine in general and thats whats awesome about it. When I asked him why he felt most men played MMOs he continued with this theme and echoed Eddies observations. You can be something youre not. Just in general, you can be someone completely youre not. No matter what you think, no matter what your wildest imagination is, thats what you can be. And thats what's cool about it. It appears escaping into difference is the major draw of MMOs for Al. Likewise, Steve said he had noticed this trend in gamers designing characters which are so dissimilar to themselves. He felt it had to do with both escape and discovery.

79 If its a bizarro world or if its just aIll be able to get in touch with things that are maybe more taboo and stuff youre not supposed to feel, I think its a great thing. I dont think it makes people fundamentally bad people if they play bad guys in game. I think theres a good population of people who play almost opposite characters. If you want to escape what you are in life, going in and playing who you are isnt what you want to do. So it appears that playing different characters may serve two functions for players, exploration of alternate identities and escape from the norms and expectations of their daily lives. Players are trying to create balance in their lives, as consistent with uses and gratifications theory. Social Interaction: Keyboard Courage Mens interactions with others can be influenced by their sense of masculinity. Part of the definition of masculinity is the discouragement of strong interpersonal relationships. Having many or strong social bonds is often seen as residing in the realm of women, and something, therefore, not for men. This fits into a combination of the masculine ideals of no Sissy Stuff and The Sturdy Oak as described by David and Brannon (1976). The former ideal refers to how all things feminine are incompatible with manhood and need to be avoided. This is consistent with psychoanalytic feminism which asserts masculinity is based on the opposite of femininity. The latter metaphor refers to the need for men to be tough and self-reliant. These two ideals illustrate the stigma for men against expressive social contact. This discouragement may make it less likely for men to engage in the inter-personal relationships that have been shown to have great benefits (Resnick 2001; Steinkuehler and Williams 2006; Putnam 2000). It is possible that men are escaping from this ideal into the safe and anonymous world of MMOs to reap the rewards of social contact.

80 Steve said that he feels MMOs and socializing is related to men and their masculinity, specifically the difficulty with opening up socially: Women tend to be able to sit down and talk about there feelings and emotions in person. You never see guys do that. Is an MMO a possible outlet where I can expose myself to a degree that I dont do in real life because I am anonymous? The term we use around here is keyboard courage. Once youre behind the keyboard and youre relatively anonymous you do things and behave in such a way thats different than what you are. Some of the most timid people in the world will be highly aggressive because they dont have that consequence. I dont know if this is true, but is the MMO a way for me to talk about things that I would never sit down and talk to my friends about? But because the worst thing that can happen is that I get exposed and Im not comfortable with it so I can leave my avatar and make a new one and start over. I dont know if thats a part of it but it kind of fits into the classic masculine role that in real life doesnt allow us as men to talk about that kind of thing. Steves comment reflects the masculine ideal of stoicism, and may explain many players choice of using MMOs as a social outlet. Many of my subjects discussed socializing with other players as one of the main appeals of MMOs. As Bud said, Theres a social aspect thats not usually what youd expect most people to want out of the games. When I asked Bud what he liked about MMOs he said: What gets me to play them is usually just for the playing with friends kind of thing, playing an RPG is fun, but when youre able to play with someone, with a whole lot of someones, it kind of adds to the experience. So I tend to go for the MMOs for the group, the partying17, the guilding, that kind of stuff, rather than just playing quake18. Al agreed with his brother, saying that the social aspect of MMOs was a major factor in his continued play. When I asked what his favorite memory from past play was, he mentioned a social event.

Partying here refers to getting a group, or party, together and playing together. Quake is a First Person Shooter style game, which while social, is purely competitive and has very little social interaction other than combat.
18

17

81 There were a couple times where there was my older brother, younger brother, me, and two roommates on at the same time and we played for like three days straight. That was probably the most fantastic thing ever. Definitely. Its just because you dont ever get to spend that much time with all those specific people all at once. We teamed up and just got together and hammered out a bunch of dungeons. You know, I dont really care for so many people that you meet online, when you get someone you can actually know in real life to play with you, its a real treat. For me at least. Al seems to enjoy the social connection that was made possible through an MMO. Although he was interacting with his friends and family in the real world, much, if not most of the interaction took place in-game, and the MMO is what made that possible. It is likely that MMOs may facilitate social interaction in this manner for many players. Bill has been involved with fantasy and sci-fi gaming for decades, and I asked him if he had any insight into what he thinks is the motivation for the players that come into his store. He said: For a lot of people they just like playing a lot of different games to socialize. Whether theyre playing an MMO or a board game or a roleplaying game or a card game. You know they get involved in it and then they want to play it, but I sit back and I think a lot of them do it just because they get [socializing] out of it. I asked Rob if MMOs had changed him in any ways. He answered by citing the social connections he had made through MMOs. Changed? I think so. Just because Ive met a lot of people on line that have helped out or talked to me outside of that. People I work with, we talk about the game a lot. Its possible that if Id never played Id have never met them. Many men mentioned the social aspect of MMOs as an important factor in their MMO experience: It's fun. Theres no other game like it. You can play games that are single player and theyre fun, but when you have the human element to it its

82 basically just like playing with your friends online. You make friends and you run around and do things and its fun like that. (Phil) Most men play MMOs for the interaction with other people. Two of my roommates when I first moved here did nothing but play WoW. They were like crack heads for WoW. They went on two raids19 a day. Which, at 8 hours a raid, is 16 hours a day. They did nothing but order Chinese food and pizza for delivery and sit at their computer. When they come to school they didnt talk to anybody. That was their social outlet. I think that was the biggest reason. (Leonard) You know, oddly enough the experiences that I enjoyed the most were talking about some of the books that I had read that other people had also read that had the same profound life change, or it touched them or something. And you never would meet someone in the street or in a coffee shop or after school or something like that and have that same kind of connection. (Ivan) I asked Ivan if MMOs changed him in any way to which he replied that he felt it helped him find others like him: Its knowledge that there are other people out there that think like you do. In a population of a billion people theres a fraction of that population that has shared experiences with you. Which, in a setting that attracts the same minded people, you may be more inclined to interact with those people than you would in the natural or real world. I think these games tend to attract people that are a little more cloistered, a little bit more hesitant or shy of interactions with people that are considered to be more popular. So you get to interact with those types of people, and it lets you know that there are other people who think like you do, even if it isnt a wildly popular perspective. So, its a form of exchange among like-minded people. This insight into personality types of player is interesting. Perhaps, as Ivan suggests, individuals who are more introverted and hesitant to socialize in the real world are drawn to MMOs as a way to fulfill their desires for inter-personal contact. This would be consistent with the findings of Steinkuehler and Williams (2006) who suggested that MMOs may be a source of social capital for those that are wanting of it in real life.

19

Raiding is the term used to describe coordinated, cooperative quests completed by dozens of players at once, usually consisting of max level characters in search of the games most powerful gear.

83 Along these same lines, as a one-time instructor in game development at his school, Steve notices that some students are able to communicate better through the less personal setting the internet provides. Every class here has an online discussion page. There are people that will never say a word in the class itself, but are very articulate, smart, and communicative in the forums. Even though theyre not anonymous, we all know who they are, its just that that medium of communication works better for them. This relates to Ivans suggestion that the style of communications and socializing made available by MMOs attracts a certain type of person. Perhaps some of these people are shy and arent good with real world social skills, and MMOs enable them to open up. It is also possible that these people are more sensitive to the prohibitions that masculinity can inflict on communication and expression. Ivan went on to say that he found that for him there were different generations in MMOs that he found he could easily differentiate. Ivan, who as we say is 30-years-old, said he felt he got along with people in MMOs that were around his age, in his generation, much better than the younger players. Being able to socialize and discuss similar interests is very important to him. The thing that I identify most with in the generation that I grew up with is that you talk about the Tolkien books that you read or other books that you read. Theres a big reading component as well. That, or maybe board games, written games, pen and pencil games, those type of things. What other environment can you think of where you can identify with and meet people? I mean those are pretty fringe of society things that arent really respected or are kind of frowned upon by successful or mainstream society. Those are kind of fringe interests that arent really accepted. So video games at that point for me, and the internet, through this medium, throws you into an environment where youre more likely to meet people that were interested in those things. Youre not reading a book with a bunch of other people, youre reading that book by yourself, you like it, but youre never going to have cause to bring that up with someone else. Not very often. The video game medium allows you to, just by nature of

84 its content, provides you an avenue to interact with people who have done the same thing, by themselves. So its kind of a bridging of a personal world with that content, that interest. It seems that MMOs are not only capable of providing social connections, but actual real, bonding. Bud talked about how he was able to make deep personal connections with people: Because of the social aspect of all the online games you usually find yourself actually getting attached to the people you are playing with because you learn how they play, what they think. Bud said that he had played with people continuously for months on the same characters and developed a heightened sense of teamwork, where he and the other player shared a like mind. We can know what were thinking; we can know what tactics were choosing without even looking at each others faces or anything like that. Steve said socializing is the main factor in his MMO enjoyment: The number one aspect for me is the social aspect. Ive always been, and I think this is part of the reason why Ive gone into another psychology field for my masters. I like to try to understand why people are the way they are. And the number of people Ive been allowed to meet virtually through MMOs and even chat rooms back in the old days, has always fascinated me. Steve feels that MMOs are a place where people can interact on a social level that rivals real world connections. He claims that the anonymity provided by the internet allows people to be more open with their true feelings. I think there is the opportunity and potential to have a deeper relationship with somebody online assuming both people are open and honest and its a real relationship. Its easier to let your guard down and express yourself when youre anonymous. Your walls are up when youre in person.

85 It does appear that for many of my subjects MMOs offer some extent of social capital. Because I did not question subjects about their social lives, I have no way of determining whether this is at the expense of other social interactions, a supplement to an already healthy social life, or a response to a lack of inter-personal relationships. It could be that my subjects are exploring emotionally expressive communication styles, escaping from the constraints placed on them by masculine ideals, or simply performing the role of a social butterfly, and enjoying the benefits that provides. It seems that player may be able to do all three at once. THE IMPACT OF AGE ON IDENTITY WORK If MMOs are being used by players in response to certain needs and desires in their lives, one would expect to find changes in play styles and time investments as players needs and desires change. This would be consistent with the principles of uses and gratifications theory. Three of my subjects were significantly older than the others, Steve, Clay and Bill are thirty-five, thirty-nine and forty-six, respectively, with a mean age of 40. The other seven subjects were all between the ages of eighteen and thirty, with a mean age of 22.3. The three oldest subjects, whose needs are somewhat different than the younger subjects as a function of their age and maturity, share similar perspectives on many aspects of MMOs. These three had several things in common with each other: 1) they all reported playing much less than they used to and they all reported playing fewer hours per week than the younger players (ten to twenty hours on average for the older group versus eighteen to thirty hours on average for the younger); 2) they all reported getting a different kind of pleasure from MMOs than when they were younger; 3) they either outright called themselves heroes, or their personal definition of heroism matched

86 their description of themselves; 4) they all reported escape and character development as the current appeal of MMOs for them. Clay said multiple times that his connection to MMOs and gaming in general has changed as he has gotten older. He feels it used to serve a purpose for him, it satisfied a need, but now, either the need is gone, or MMOs dont fulfill the need like they used to for him. I like it, at least I used to when I was a kid, but theyve gotten less and less enjoyable as Ive gotten older because they do nothing for me. They fulfill no niche for me. Its just something to do. You know, it might have satisfied a certain need, what need I cant really tell you. It might have satisfied some need before, it satisfies no need now. Its just something to kill time. It appears that there is a difference in MMO play styles and preference for older men, but as Clay expressed, the source of this difference requires further exploration. Heroism: An Ideal Attained All of the younger subjects defined heroism similarly, as a self-sacrificing act that involved saving someones life. Most of them also reported having thought seriously about employment in a field that would allow them to fulfill their definition of heroism. The major difference between the younger subjects answers and the older group is that the older groups concepts of heroism were less rigidly defined, and did not require as severe a self sacrifice as expressed by their counterparts. When asked if they had ever thought about employment in a heroic field, all three older subjects included their current job as fulfilling the heroic criteria. In other words, all three men thought of themselves as heroes. Clay was the most vocal about his heroism. I give blood. Ive given over 3 gallons of blood. I started when I was age 16. Actually youre not supposed to be able to

87 till youre 17. But right there, people who give blood are heroes. Clay not only gave blood, he gave it before he should even have been able to. Clay reported being a cutter. He said the reason he cut himself was to have control over his pain. What I mean by control is that if there comes a day when I need to be willing to sacrifice my arm to save your lifeI can do that. Clay joined the military to fight evil. He said, To be honest, I joined the military to kill people. Not just any people, evil people. When Clay discovered that the military was not about good versus evil, he retired, because it didnt fit his definition of heroism. Now he is an RN, and feels this job suits him better. Im an emergency room nurse, Im instrumental in saving peoples lives, Im a hero. Bill defined a hero as, someone who takes the ordinary and gives an extraordinary effort towards it. To me the heroes are the teachers or, you know, people who are public servants. When I asked him if he felt there were any parts of his life where he felt that he was a hero, he said: The only thing I can hope is the way that we run our store [he and his wife], you know we try to help out these kids, and stuff like that, is a good thing. I dont see myself as a hero because of that. I think if people were to help each other, to the best of their abilities, and do that as an overall thing it would make this world a better place, but as far as being a hero, I dont see myself as being a hero for that. Its just something I think people need to do for the betterment of society as a whole. Although Bill says he doesnt think of himself as a hero, his description of himself closely matches his earlier definition, and later he said: I like to be positive things, to have a good influence on someones life. If you want to define that as a hero then yes. I think that as Ive gotten older Id like to do positive things in life, hopefully have a positive influence on at least one persons life. When I asked Steve how he defined heroism he said:

88 I guess for me, the being looked up to aspect becomes a big part of it. Youre doing something to help somebody else, is a general heroic style act. Im not necessarily talking about the whole self sacrifice Ill throw myself in front of a bullet and die for you but were all just little cartoons acting like people, so your behavior behind that toon20 has a lot to do with what I think is admirable in a character or not. I would say that same answer would have been different but my age and the fact that I have two kids, definitely changes what you see as important, and that kind of mentorship and modeling behavior that you think is important is what I tend to see now. Steve reports that his definition of heroism has changed and when I asked him if he ever thought about employment in a field which would allow him to be a hero he said: It does depend on how you define it. The classic fireman, policeman, something like that? No. In terms of helping somebody else to discover themselves, the teaching is definitely part of that. Although its interesting because Im gravitating away from the actual in the classroom type of thing and more towards the administrative curriculum development side of things with my current job. Part of it for me personally is I think that I can make better more things for more people if Im in that kind of a role. If Im an amazingly good instructor and I affect the lives of the kids in my classes Ive done one thing, but if I can make the entire program better and affect the kids that I dont ever have in class, thats a bigger impact. It interesting because I look at have you ever seen the movie Mr. Hollands Opus? Richard Dreyfuss, out of college wants to compose music, but he needs the money, so he gets a job teaching high school music. Basically it chronicles his career, he had a kid so he couldnt take the summers off and he teaches drivers Ed, all the way through to the point where he retires. Finally he got his one song done, that he composed. And it kind of looks at the way his life went, and the number of lives that he affected, in something that he never planned to do. Thats the kind of mentality I think Im at now. Because I never planned on doing this. I had selfish careers in mind. I wanted to make cars in VR21. I wanted to be an automotive designer and make cars in virtual reality, and this type technology stuff. And I fell into teaching and I realized this is kinda cool to help other people out. As far as your classical hero, no not necessarily, I havent looked for those. But from a can I affect the lives of others in a positive way? viewpoint, its become a pretty important part of my life. Steves account, and his filmic illustration, reveal how the meaning of self-sacrifice changes with aging: it is less about being elevated and more about elevating others.

20 21

Toon is short for cartoon, which is another word for character. Virtual reality

89 There are several explanations for this bold contrast in meanings of heroism between older and younger men. One is that similar to the descriptions of the Israeli combat masculinity, needs of society change over mens life course (Spector-Mersel 2006). Perhaps the definition of heroism and the desire to fulfill it expressed by my younger subjects is the socially constructed reality for young men at this place and time. Maybe as men get older and societys expectations change, their definition and relationship with heroism changes as well. Traditionally wars are fought by young men, so it would be opportune for societies waging war if young men held themselves up to the ideal of sacrificing their lives for others. Similarly, fatherhood and mentorship is traditionally performed by those at middle age and beyond, so it makes sense that the older subjects expressed these ideals, as a reflection of the generalized other. This would explain Clays change over time. He gave blood before he was legally allowed, and joined the military as soon as he was able. Later his views on heroism shifted to include a more supportive heroism, as a nurse. This change in values is consistent with Eriksons developmental stage of adulthood, when individuals struggle with the need to provide for the next generation. The older subjects definitions of heroism all involve a mentoring or supporting role, with an emphasis on helping others. Responding to the call to generativity as described in Eriksons model, it may be the older subjects have entered a new stage in their lives where the focus has shifted from the self to others, from individual goals and needs to the maintenance and perpetuation of society. Another related explanation is that these men have reformulated their personal relationship with masculinity in a way that is described in Gerschick and Millers (1995)

90 work with physically disabled men. It is conceivable that the subjects definition of masculinity and their relationship to it has evolved over time as a reaction to their losing their youthful embodiments, which enabled strength and stamina. They may have redefined their relationship with masculinity in order to fit themselves inside its constraints more comfortably. A third explanation is simply that Steve and Bill have had these definitions of heroism their whole lives, and have reached a point in their lives where they have lived up to their ideal. Unlike Clay, they never clarified a change in their views on heroism over time, so unfortunately I am not able to assess if this applies to them or not. Competition: Need Not Apply All three older men said they did not enjoy the competitive aspects of MMOs. I asked Steve if he compares his characters to other players characters in-game. His answer also indicates a change in his play style as he has gotten older. A direct comparison, any more, its not. It used to be, not necessarily skill wise, but definitely gear wise. If somebody had something that was better than me, Id figure out a way to get my own version of it. So it was really important to me. Any more? Not so much. I play just to have fun. Clay stated that he doesnt feel the need to compete in MMOs because he feels he has already proven himself. I dont have to kill anybody [in-game], I dont have to prove myself to anybody, I have proven myself to the only person that matters and thats me. When youve jumped out of a plane, when you stuck it out with four years of service, when youve worked as an emergency room nurse and saving peoples lives, when youve met all those criteria and come and talk to me and say Im one up on ya. But we live in this damn world where everythings got to be a competition. I gotta be better than you, I gotta one up you. Thats probably the thing that I am most sick of in this society, is this whole one-upmanship. Like I said, I feel like Ive accomplished a lot in life and Im proud of that, but Im not comparing

91 myself to anyone else. I take enjoyment in accomplishing things for the sake of accomplishing them. Bill stated he doesnt like player versus player, or competitive aspects of MMOs. He said he didnt feel the need to prove himself: Im not there to pick on other players. Im not there to show my prowess over other players, or my skill over other players. My skill is in accomplishing the goals set within the framework of the game, not beating up other people. Steve also has an aversion to PvP and competition. Personally I dont PvP, especially in combat. Im much more into [player versus environment] and [cooperative play]. Playing another person is not important to me. It may be that it is easier to resist and critique the cultural strictures of masculinity as one gets older. Another possible explanation for this is that as older men, they have more successful, fulfilling lives, are more secure with themselves, and have less need to compete to prove their worth. Steve later commented on how he felt that his real world success had an impact on his game play. I would play twenty to thirty hours a week versus now, barely. Its just not as big of a priority in my life. I think its a process you go through as well. I like my life. Not that I didnt like my life before, but what I had was a lot less. And so its like being able to escape was a more important aspect. Reflecting Steves insight, Eddie, at age nineteen, said that he felt his desire for fantasy was related to his lack of stake in the real world. When I asked Eddie if he preferred to live in the real world or a sci-fi or fantasy world of his choice he said he would choose a sci-fi world. Since my world is not really exciting I have family, but theres not really much for me except becoming successful. So I think that people that feel like the world hasnt done much for them would go into that type

92 of world. Thats what I would do. Id go into the sci-fi world, huge technologies and skills and be the type of person I would be, it would just be a different world. I'd have a lot more options. When I asked Steve the same question, whether he would choose the real world or a fantasy world he said: Based on now, Id pick the real world hands down. I would say largely attributed to my family. Having kids, that is a very grounding experience. Ask me that question 5 years ago? It probably would have been a harder answer. What I get from them now is probably a greater joy than what I would get from escaping to a world. It all comes back to my kids. It changes everything. I do things for them now. Im less selfish. Theres an unconditional love that is stronger that any other bond. Here is another example of a players real life circumstances impacting their experience with MMOs. It appears for Steve some of the draw to play MMOs that used to attract him has been replaced by his children. One aspect of MMOs which all three older men were in agreement over was character development. Each was vocal about this as a crucial aspect of MMOs which they found enjoyment in. Interestingly, they all embraced the reward of character advancement and achievement, but only as a personal reward. The aspects of character development as relating to others did not appeal to them. They said they enjoyed it irrespective of others comparable achievements. This may be linked with the fact that all three also said they used MMOs for escape and relaxation. Perhaps this less intense version of character development is the source of their relaxation. They can still enjoy the feelings of accomplishment, but without the potential stress of competition. All of the three older men were fairly successful in their lives, but none of them had reached the pinnacle of success. Perhaps this explains their continued enjoyment in online accomplishments. Success is a very subjective term, and unfortunately I did not ask the

93 subjects to rate their own level of success. However, as a family man with a very successful career, Steve arguably fits that mold most closely, and as one would suspect, had the lowest reported play time of all subjects at 1-5 hours per week. Within the constraints of the current methods it is not possible to determine cause and effect in this relationship; it may very well be that in fact Steve is successful because he plays so little. An area of limitation to analysis of age and MMOs is one of cohort effect. Video games, especially MMOs, are fairly recent phenomena. The older men in this study experienced MMOs and video games at a different stage in their developmental process than did the younger subjects. It is probable that their relationship with MMOs is significantly different because of this fact. Performances with Many Purposes MMOs are played for a huge variety of reasons, and although my subjects reported many different motivations, they all seem to be in some way a reaction to a particular facet of the players life. Players seem to be using MMOs as a means to deal with real world aspects of their lives. Whether it is stress release, role and identity exploration and performance, status assertion, masculinity performance and maintenance, or socializing, my subjects play MMOs in order to address some need or imbalance in their lives. It also seems to be that, as would be expected, the larger the need or imbalance, the more time spent playing MMOs. Although players do report that overdoing it or playing too much can have a negative effect rather than the intended one, when performed in moderation MMO playing may actually have therapeutic benefits related to the theory of uses and gratification - on many different levels. Whether or not MMO participation is actually a healthy and effective solution to a players real life

94 problems is dependent on many factors, but it does appear that for my subjects the intention is there. It appears that the anonymity of MMO allows players to engage in activities that they normally would not, and players do take advantage of that fact. There also seems to be notable interactions between age and use of MMOs.

95 Chapter 5: Conclusion Five features of MMOs come together to create a unique environment. These are: the range of possible identities that MMOs provide, the freedom from judgment and ridicule anonymity allows, the strength of connection between player and character due to immersion, an active audience in other players, and an idealized, hypermasculine environment. These features combine to create a perfect context for identity work. In MMOs, players can be and do almost anything. Their actions are performed in front of others, making those actions more real, yet they remain free from scorn and consequence should those actions not turn out to the audiences liking. A player can always leave the game and try again as a new character. All of this takes place within a virtual world filled with extremely gendered themes, from the submissive bikini clad women in need of rescue, to the hulking bare-chested warriors rescuing them. Coming to a better understanding of what players do within this unique environment was the purpose of this study. The relationships uncovered during the course of my research and analysis are complex and nuanced. To better illustrate these results, I have created a conceptual model which outlines the interactions between men and MMOs, which can be seen in Figure 1 (see page 110). I hypothesize four main potential conditions for relationships between men and MMOs: stress, identity crisis, social capital and masculine identity. These are traits of each individual gamers identity which require upkeep or maintenance in order to reach a state of balance and stability. For each of these four traits there is a mechanism or process which addresses the balance of that trait. These are: escapism, identity exploration, socializing and

96 masculinity performance. Through action of each mechanism, individuals are able to achieve stability in the corresponding unbalanced trait. Each of these mechanisms or processes is enabled by the unique features of MMOs: diversity of possible identities, anonymity, audience, immersion and hypermasculinity. These features combine to allow gamers to execute balancing mechanisms while playing. Such features permit players to sense the implications of identities via a virtual experience of the looking glass self. The type and degree of required balance influences the strength of the corresponding balancing mechanism, which in turn influences game play experience in the form of frequency and style of play. Each gamers unique need for balance determines how much an individual gamer plays, and what type of play they carry out, which feeds back to impact the type and degree of balance resulting from the process. Ultimately, men who perform this maintenance in-game accomplish the stabilization of the original trait which required balance. Subjects reported a strong tendency to play MMOs for stress relief through escape. The ability to choose roles in-game which differ significantly from their real world identities enhanced subjects sense of escape. The older subjects also reported escape from reality as important motivation for their game play. I am unable to determine how effective MMOs actually are at balancing levels of stress among the subjects due to a lack of methods which assess this relationship. The exploration that Erikson (1950, 1968) specifies as crucial to identity development is an important factor within my group of subjects, particularly among the younger gamers. Testing out different identities and experiencing how those identities

97 feel, and make others feel, appears to be based on the need of the subjects; furthermore, such testing occurs in MMOs as a result of the unique properties of MMOs. Older subjects did not report this as an important feature of their play styles, perhaps because they are no longer in the life stage during which most identity development occurs. The results suggest that MMOs provide players with an Eriksonian psychosocial moratorium. Subjects reported socializing with other players in-game as a major motivation of their play. Anonymity allowed the subjects to defy the conventions of masculinity and engage in inter-personal relationships, sometimes leading to meaningful and emotional bonds with others. What effect game play has on subjects social capital can not be determined within the current design, and warrants future research to investigate whether gamers play MMOs at a benefit or detriment to healthy human interactions. Performances of masculinity were prevalent among the subjects. Younger subjects had a common definition of what it means to be a self-sacrificing hero and the desire to become a hero. Half of the subjects considered their characters to be heroes, half did not. All three older men had different relationships with heroism and none thought of their characters as heroes, yet perceived heroic qualities in their everyday practices as fathers, mentors and workers. The difference in relationship to heroism between the age groups is likely due to changes in masculine ideals and expectations over the life course. As with the other relationships, I am unable to accurately say whether MMOs have any significant or long term effect on subjects masculinity. Although the older subjects had a more secure sense of masculinity than the younger players, this can of course not be attributed solely to MMO play. What degree of effect MMOs have, if any, would require methods that were not used for this research.

98 Younger subjects reported achievement in the forms of character development and competition to be significant features of their play. The older men did not currently enjoy in-game competition, but reported that at one point they did. Instead, character development was a major motivation for the older men. These disparities by age are possibly due to differences in real life fulfillment. The older men are more successful and have more investment in the real world, so their need for achievement may be less than for the younger players. Subjects were found to frequently create characters which were similar to themselves. It is possible that players do this purposely and unconsciously so they can identify more easily and more strongly with their character. With greater immersion, it is possible that actions performed by those characters have a stronger impact on the player. Playing as a character which is very similar to the player may enhance or strengthen the reality constructed by the symbolic interactions of the character, enabling those realities to more easily transfer to real life identities. FUTURE RESEARCH Although this study contributes to the knowledge of masculinity and MMOs, this research has brought to light a need for more research in this area. Future research should include women gamers. Without their insight, only half the picture is available for inspection. Womens responses may create meaning in mens responses that was not discernible without a corresponding view. Contrary to my hypothesis, it may be that the unbalanced population of men in MMOs has less to do with what attracts men and more to do with what repels women (Hartmann and Klimmt 2006; Bryce and Rutter 2003).

99 This study focused on players active manipulation of their MMO environment in order to construct reality to suit their needs. An examination of more subtle effects of MMOs may prove fruitful. MMOs are filled with images and themes which may have socializing effects on players, especially younger players who are more easily influenced. In particular, MMOs represent a very gendered world: extreme male and female body images, hypermasculinity and violence, a meritocratic leveling system and many other polarizing concepts. With greater understanding of the socializing factors of MMOs may come more egalitarian trends in game design. In this research, age was determined to be related to subjects relationships with MMOs. More comparisons between even younger and even older men are warranted. It is possible that success, instead of age, is actually the mediating variable. Perhaps subjects relationships with MMOs seem to be related to age because chances of success increase with age. It may be that the more successful one perceives themselves to be, the less they will feel compulsion to play MMOs. In order to better examine these relationships more focus could be spent on separating age from success. In order to determine causal effects longitudinal analysis could be performed to examine mens relationships with MMOs over time, men before and after having children, men before and after success, men before and after finding employment in a heroic field. Examining levels of stress among subjects and its relationship to their MMO play is merited. Do men play more MMOs when they are going through a stressful time in their life? Going through divorce, chronic illness, death of a parent, etc., could lead to a change in MMO participation. The effectiveness of game play as a means of stress reduction could also be researched.

100 Because the current research focused solely on MMO gamers, understanding these subjects in comparison to non-gamers is not possible. Comparative studies could investigate the areas of similarity and difference between gamers and the rest of the population, particularly other modes of doing masculinity, experiencing anonymity, or modes of competitive achievement. This study contributes to the understanding of men, masculinity, MMOs and the interactions between them. To my knowledge it is the first detailed qualitative examination of the interplay between these three variables. The findings of this study may be helpful to further research in this area in that it lays the theoretical groundwork for understanding issues of identity and masculinity, and outlines many key concepts which govern the interaction of men and MMOs. It also extends the line of research focusing on MMOs and video games as neither good nor bad, but as an emerging trend in an increasingly technical world, that has incredible influence on millions of lives. There is a tendency in our culture to look at video games as childs play, and gamers as social outcasts. This study illustrates that MMOs are much more intricate and involved than just simple games. They are reflections of our real world, and may hold just as many secrets. The stories of the men in this study are fascinating, and defied stereotype. Perhaps this research, and more like it in the future, will help bring more of these stories out into the open.