AMAPIANO
INTRODUCTION
In the end l died for this beat! For the sgcobo that never disappoints the jive and the Khavela
that has covered my torn secret socks! I was the king of the savannah even if l prefered black
label to blend in! The brown bottleneck was affectionate to my sober touch so l engaged it with
a proposal of full-time commitment!
Emcimbini kulapho ongithola khona! This is the Africa that robbed me of my promising future
whilst it braaid my youth with ACHA! These are the DJs who mixed and minced me in the same
room with my foes and called the club liberation! I know this introduction is intense because you
are listening to them as we speak so LALELA..
CHAPTER ONE
They gave me names of the things they wished they could do every time l gobisad iqolo to their
amusement! It's true that if you listen closely enough to nonsense,it loses its breaks for there is
no stop sign once you by pass a beat created to crack your phone screen and scramble your
sanity for a bit!
I know l will be your enemy after l finish this chapter but these are the parting words from a
drunken master to a student who has his glass full,so pay attention to this kung fu!
It began like all stories with a sad ending!We listened to the beat and chose the one that made
us buy new earphones every time we opened the full volume!
We didnt care about time or understand those who couldn't appreciate them so we distanced
ourselves from them by calling them boring! I don't condemn the beats nor do l have anything
against the craft however you have to read this second chapter to understand why AMAPIANO
killed me...
CHAPTER TWO
Rikitii,Ruu shii! I don't know what l just wrote too but music has its own language so we twisted
and turned to rhythms that voetseked us with foreign dialects that only the singers understood!
We skipped many Sabbaths for the weekend chillas and when pastors told us about the PIANO
in church we asked them if they know aka Kabza?
Asisakhombisi, l don't know how this is interpreted in your french but in my biltong and Two
Keys spanish,it meant AMAPIANO was the new mode of fatal attraction!
We deshed ourselves to well make-uped strays that loved the shisha and poured ourselves to an
early morning of grief when the 'salukazi' asked for her wig and teeth back! So when they say
alcohol is the devil's juice and money is the root of all [Link] that AMAPIANO is the
bartender!
Ngiyadlala, c'mon we all needed this oversight after an intense introduction but what if l told you
that the following chapter is about a 2 sisters and their nyanga [Link] you then be
patient for this Chapter Three?
CHAPTER THREE
Third time is the final charm so let's give it a go! What do you call a shaman whose a chain
smoker? A traditional puffer or a spiritual chimney? You see these sisters were orphans of the
cold cots! They marveled the crispness of castle lagers and revealed their inner spirits to a
speaker that served them a facetime with Maphorisa!
So when our two footed cars raved out signals to go navigate a better parking area, the sisters
strapped on the seatbelts with pumps and tennis shoes!
Off we went, with a ridiculous speed of 2km per second as our intoxication veered us off and
onto the [Link] were our own robots and radio,so everything was a greenlight and loud
discord as we sang our different versions of AMAPIANO!
Finally,we made it where they stayed and they offered us food before we went our way! To say
hehe isn't elaborate enough for what was in store for us! We entered a house that told us to
leave our Bentleys on the door mat and applause for the elders that weren't even our kin! Akuna
jaive we thought as we rolled onto the sofas naive and drunk!
Now know this my friend,there are one pull and long pull smokers in this world but these ladies'
mother was in her own category!She finished a carton of cigarettes before we squezed our
sober minds out with regrets! So what are your intentions with my daughters she hammered
away?To nail them in we replied since we thought this was a weird hardware joke! Nc nc! The
Nyanga hetsimud to her "Makhosi" or whatever that means.
She asked to be excused for a second and the fake in-law fever had us saying yes mom even
before we caught the cold! However when she returned,we all understood the ndebele idiom of
'ukucela ezinyaweni'!
AMAPIANO had led us to a den of sticks but no one wanted to be the drum! So we ran for the
hills and stopped to catch a breath when our supercars had ran out of steam!
Yah ne, this is the slogan of legends who have made it out of the jaws of an alligator but yet
AMAPIANO killed me! When we got home early in the morning,work was waiting and the
hangover not contemplating so l struggled in silence like l am doing now with this Chapter four...
CHAPTER FOUR
So far so good ne? We are the creatures of the night and species of the day and yet we are
crybabies of the hunt that daunts us as bingas of our spots!
These are my tiger stripes,so l roar with my 2k pride and hope that my clan forgets that l shaved
my mane to stand with cats that are not my size!
ADIWELE, those were the days l felt invisible to say FERE to any plan that needed my veto with
quantities and quantum physics of Zambezi crates and carnivorous kilograms!
On paydays they loved me and treated my greed with tender love and care but on dry seasons l
was the poor cheese boy that all break-up songs talk about!
So as AMAPIANO evolved l diversified with them and bopped my head to 'ukuba-endoser' but
unfortunately l fell in love with a Delilah who mirrored the face of the purest form of Christianity
and modern maturity but was born out of the hottest consoles of AMAPIANO! I know these
subjects open old wounds so allow me to high five you to this chapter five as we take a much
needed water break!..
CHAPTER FIVE
Mansa Musa was the richest person to ever live with a net worth of 400 billion US dollars but
what if l told you that an average African says 'ayi' 27 trillion times a year and 10% of that is
when they are listening to Musa Keys!
It's a lie isn't it? But atleast l am woke to the infedility poke that 99.9% of affairs began with
heneiken's and amarulas on the car seats of a 'bhoza' that mixed his own car stereo like it was a
Daliwonga rodeo!
Delilah! Right l almost forgot to tune down this loud AMAPIANO session so pardon the mixtape
and allow me to introduce you to this Durban Gogo! On Saturdays it was choir commitments
and Sundays it was the praise and worship pianos with the anointing amounting on everyone
evenly! Wonderful l thought! This is imbokodo that l have been looking for all my life but
Whatsapp GB users are like the African weather, they are always hot!
So l calculated one and two and the sum standardized itself to an improper fraction and so l
took the Philistine's phone to check if they were any Goliaths enticing my Canaan! Some of
them called themselves Sir Trill because of the beard and some were 'abo Malume' ,the Tira's
with honda fits but who was l to judge this Afrotainment? After all AMAPIANO had killed me and
this is why l hanged myself with these six cots before l began this chapter six!...
CHAPTER SIX
You are broke ain't you? Poverty has made you a steward for its fruitless cause with no reward!
Yet you shrug us of in China shops when we spend our Vigro Deep tickets on a toy Jeep for our
kids! So when the grandparents receive their pension, they offer a double portion to our young
since we are the absent baby makers to unwanted responsibilities that are present because
mom and dad thought Las Vegas would end at Eyadini!
This is what l was told when l received the pregnancy test kit of a team l didnt score against! It
didn't matter that l was a substitute that didn't play the entire season but only that l won,drew
and lost for them together with the shareholders that enjoyed the after party!
Hayi, It's not mine l screamed! but the crowd ullulated to my lamentations and called the baby
bump a good hit and so l tried to add a little spice to it in my argument like Makhadzi but the
spectators congratulated me and said "izinto zomjolo zoku Ghanama"! Now you see how
AMAPIANO killed me but you still want me to share more on chapter seven when l am the one
left with a size seven waist of depression and stress!...
CHAPTER SEVEN
"I job yi job",we save the 10rands not for the bananas that our bodies need from time to time but
for the Nana's that prefer perishable understandings and fruity delicacies that end with rotten
goods!
We are those that support our own pockets and balance our pants with liquor belts of
'izipatalala' and then we call the exhilarating process winter because this Game of Thrones only
applauds the dragons that burn the liver and roast the lungs!
You see l am a child of the heads or tales? So when job vacancies open l put them on a playlist
like AMAPIANO and apply to them diligently like lotto! However this is why l am unemployed
because l spend the day rolling and blowing blunts with Major League DJ's in my minor league
of ambition, thinking of being ghetto fabulous!
I once went for an interview that desired my DStv account but l told them l can't give them an
Explora preview with my Open View decorder so when they gave someone else the job,l knew
listening to AMAPIANO with the free view on Channel O isn't humanitarian as the freedom
entails! So the next time you use the remote, remember that AMAPIANO is a free kasi CV with
no grants for reluctant social rants!Now do you believe that AMAPIANO killed me or should we
sleep the standard eight hours for us to grow into the next Chapter eight?...
CHAPTER EIGHT
There are some people that you shouldn't miss in life! Not because you are bitter but because
these were the clowns that recorded you for Twitter when King Monada had you embarrassing
us with your vomiting 'Dibala'! However we must understand that there are no contenders after
the Russian Bear enters the ring and this is why they will selfie their fear whilst their gear you to
wear the attire that will make you fall like a frozen pear when you hear Reece Madlisa refree the
match with a 'Dankoe!'
Friendships today are like the leftover crumbs of Judas' plate after the Passover because if
there is no crossover of good intentions after betrayal then who will wash the dishes after we all
agree that it's all over? It's funny that you are bestie when they need you to take one for the
team but when AMAPIANO end,the void expands and the loneliness preaches it's own version
Revelations!
So if you ask me if AMAPIANO have gave me friends l will definitely say Yes! However if you ask
me if driving with a cooler box full of triple distilled beverages and a pool of icecubes is cool?
Then like a fool l will explain the spectacular function of this refreshing tool but l will leave the
wool out incase you believe that new mindset can be woven out of a lost cause who believes in
the 'Ziyawa' syndrome!
It's a weekend today but these days l know being bold is a hold that will fold you in your old age.
So for those that have nine lives, the bouncers are ready to high five you to your hangovers as
usual but for those that are waiting for this chapter nine, goodnight!...
CHAPTER NINE
Good day to the soar throats,red eyes and hoarse voices. These three musketeers are
diplomatic emissaries of the empty bottles you spined around to choose glossy lips that lied
about their curfew and the 'Uncle Waffles' downstairs!
Don't worry! What's done is done, "hape lihape"but we are tired of wasting the little that we have
because the Thisanyama owners now call you 'Mkhwenyana'! So when the family begs for a
little bit of proteins, you dissect the conversation with vegetarian theatrics as if too much
cabbage doesn't lead to malnutritional garbage!
This is what volume five of my family's AMAPIANO begins like! There is no chorus or auto
tune,we just shoot to kill with our high pitched efforts and hope that the vulgar is PG enough for
the message to really make sense! Unfortunately like the 'Qwabe twins',my strengths and
weaknesses are viewed on an equilibrium and this is why when l tell them that l will bring them '
impilo yase Sandton' like Mpura, they counter my standards by saying, "Sohlangane Meghalo"!
So as we anticipate what will happen or be said in chapter ten, please understand that this is
more dense and makes sense than a tense suicide note! I lived my life on the edge and shared
my last breath with you wearing a badge of failure so if you want to know what happens next
just count from one up to ten and then push me off to the next chapter!...
CHAPTER TEN
50 cent was shot 9 times and didn't flinch a muscle but AMAPIANO shot me with a bazooka and
when l asked why since l am not rich? They said everything was going to be fine as long as l
Costa Titch this legless stitch from a ditch that l got from the yard of a witch!
What will the avengers say of this injustice? Or does justice come to those that buy green
lanterns and crystal meth and call the whole alien fiasco "iLemonade?" I ask this because
people are consuming drugs that are turning them into street thugs who carry mugs and jugs
and yet want hugs from trees that carry thorns!
You see, there is unspoken stupidity in listening to songs that don't affect you or atleast change
your mood! However when l told these killer truths they mourned louder for Killer Kau! So l
avoided this debauchery by "Clapping my hands" and letting 'Zakes Bantwini' 'Osama' this
common sense into logic!
Raise your hands ten times if you are thankful for AMAPIANO! However if your hands are down
for the eleventh time,then you are ready for this chapter eleven!
CHAPTER ELEVEN
If you dance with another man's lady in a bar be ready for the eleven rounds because the 12th is
usually decided by death! However if he tolerates the flirtation then beware of the "Bela Ciao" in
your pockets because the twerking is wrecking a stiffer money heist on you than in your
underwear!
I once killed a thief because of AMAPIANO although l confess this because l have suffered the
same fate in my slumber! He had my ex's number and so when l verified what type of plumber
he was he acted dumber from the revelation and just as my rage was turning on to amber
someone knocked me out with a jazz inscripted tumbler! So when l woke up to the "Teka teka"
sounds of my belongings being gone,l didn't search for those Jazzie Q's although l did queue in
the police station to report the stolen goods!
As l consulted some apostles for spiritual GPS on my daidengs,they told me that l should ask
the Kings Of The Weekends but where do l begin when everyone is a bold Spectacular and
Naves? So l accepted the defeat but swore that l wouldn't forget the face!
But my soul was uneasy and so l asked Vilosoul why depression is so foul and he said its
because "Uyazula Zula" but l debated this since l have never been too forward! So he made his
final statement and asked if l knew Mandoza?The kwaito superstar whose a role model to
Abidoza? And l said yes thinking he was going to talk about his famous "Diamond Walk"! But
this wasn't a moonwalking conversation,so he taped into my consciousness and concluded with
how everyone's is so focused on a "soft life" that has no software of how to be aware and bare
the burdens of a civilization that doesn't care!
So l contemplated that AMAPIANO were the reason they stole from. But lapses in concentration
can happen to anybody and this is why l believe in the God of the twelve disciples because the
following CHAPTER TWELVE will need all of us to follow!....
CHAPTER TWELVE
If a man who has no shadow has sold his soul to the devil then how brave are those that dance
to a dark age and curse the hypocrisy with crocodile tears that don't even amuse the evil they
endorse? I ask you this because l understand that "Ama-hassman ayatshoroza" but we are the
generation that ask for porridge with a fork and knife and flavor it with stork margarine and
when the butter fattens us we call it a work of art!
Are we really naive or poverty has capitalized our pity into a real city? Let me repeat! How much
money have you blown over "Abo Mvelo" with Daliwonga's that only call you "Mlungu" because
you don't discriminate their poison nor call them son like all the "ntwana's" they govern in the
taverns? But when your own mother begs you for money you send her to an early grave with
excuses that she though died with your father!
So what is AMAPIANO they ask me daily? And l conveniently tell them to drink until they are pink
then l will link them with a wink and dink to a music sink that will make their wallets develop a
frisky kink with the bartender's hands! No one leaves with the same budget they had planned for
when its 12am and AMAPIANO are harassing your medulla oblongata!This is why l write this
chapter for you before midnight because l don't want you to fight off the urges "Long Tom's"
without understanding the foresight of tight days and light meals that give no height to the
might of overnight right!
AMAPIANO killed me!But before l hang and dangle myself to the next Chapter, understand that l
don't hate them! However if a typical human being tells thirteen big lies per week after listening
to AMAPIANO then make sure to wear a mask and sanitize because the next chapter is going to
be a global pandemic!....
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Before you passover to the afterlife, everyone gets a glimpse of who they were and how They
lived! So save your energy young blood and breath wisely because no one enters the next
chapter wearing nose rings nor eating KFC wings since these PIANOs are finger licking good! I
know some of you won't understand my last moments with you so don't worry "Leli sondo liyeza
nakuwe",ask Dj Bulo!
I used to cry and only say "till death do us part" to AMAPIANO with Bluetooth speakers that tore
the romance apart everytime we spent a few hours together! But divorce is brutal, not because
you get accustomed to the change and alter the common normal but because the All Stars and
Balaciaga will always remember the butterflies that you got from the sweet lies and strong ties
that made you buy pies after they had said sies to your efforts!
So when l tell you AMAPIANO killed me, take notes and leave the tots to the ancestors that drink
6 feet away from the cups that killed them! I was like you in every way mfana! When they said,
"silana l never replied with a "mana" to save myself from the ridiculous hangovers and this us
why l am in pampers with loose bowls that have made my nephews call me "sana" because l
couldn't "yala"!
It's sad that l write to you these things covered in sand and hand tied to a land that will glorify
the band that buried me with a Rand currency l never had! But this is the culture and so when l
speak like this they wish a vulture could rapture my words away since they have a confusing
gesture towards the future ! But l am not a storyteller. I am a simple martyr who wants to
"Delela" one last time and "Wela Wela" to the next Chapter!...
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Everyone will remember the war in Ukraine because even slay queens like Elaine and Diane
finally understood the economics of fuel and sex! And this is why when we tell them to wear
decently,they remind us of being dear hyenas who aren't worth any tear of money. But after the
coal has burned and the ice has evaporated, the blessers transpire and the photosynthesis isn't
green minded as the chlorophyll looks! So when they come back to us blaming AMAPIANO and
imaturity for their imperfections,we welcome them back to Africa, a land where dry thighs are
hotter than summer highs on death beds that sing about HIV!
This is our story mfana! We were the ankela's that spoke to Pamela's who didn't understand that
we are all young fellas who loved labela's! So when we wore the Levis on our pelvis and hit the
"mstebhara" as if we owned the Mara, we won the kasi Olympics that endorse uKleva but still kill
ngameva, uYeva? So when l tell you that AMAPIANO killed me, understand that l was only a
Gabhadiya until the lifestyle decided to thiya me with ama bhiya and abo Aaliyah who kicked
with a karate hiyaaa when l told them to call it a night!
So as we get to the end! I wish to tell you that there was another way, atleast someway l could
have sped off a little slower on these streets. But everyone is a race car owner with AMAPIANO
and this is why we dance in unison as if we are bison that want to stab Mike Tyson for no
reason!But these are my last moments with you so let me thank you for participating on this
short journey that didn't need a beat attorney! Chapter fifteen on the fifth floor of literally
rewinds and book binds is were these AMAPIANO will be shelved,..so Lalela!
CHAPTER FIFTEEN #CONCLUSION
In Africa we call the unemployed turf warriors,"Omavala" because their idea of security doesn't
cater for those that eat [Link] when the police handcuff them to make an example, the
pothole sealers clown them with AMAPIANO entics saying,"Nangu sikabopha nangu" whilst their
mothers plead for them using the same memoir, screaming,"uthu zovala,uthu zovula"!
At the sports bet they honor every religious donor with tickets of misguided crickets! So when
the bets disappoint the sets of those that believed in the Brooklyn Nets, they try to cheer you up
by saying you could win more on wickets with your terrifying rickets! And this is why we hit the
"Sguqa ngamadolo" when someone cokes "ivolovolo" in a party of Polo drivers that still believe
in YOLO!
We have adopted and aborted this evil world but like the two sides of dry toast ,the devil has
spread us allover with his jam! So when we ask where is Pam, they crucify us about how she
died alone in a dam after choking from the ham we ate with Sam as fam with no visual cam to
capture the kotas we ram onto our mouths without giving a damn!
In the beginning, l told you that AMAPIANO killed me even though that required me to be bold
and sold in my own opinion of musical Gold! But since this conclusion has held a hold on you for
the past hot and cold chapters, allow me then to set you free with these last words! AMAPIANO
will fold you on days you need God to mold you but because this story will Rest In Peace with
the live jive you have planned as a hive of five fools who want to drive and dive into a frenzy that
doesn't give anything else but recklessness this weekend! Please Remember that the next round
was on me when AMAPIANO killed me!
THABO CLIVE MATHONSI
is an author,script writer,development practictioner and content director who has
devoted all his passion and efforts to art,media and social work. He has extensive
experience in diverse and innovative writing and directing skills. His recent activities
include writing a true-life story about Cyclone Idai, working on the second volume of
his 1st Novel titled "Blessings(Remove The Jean)", writing a short novel named
AMAPIANO.
His novel titled "Blessings (Tears Of An African Child)" was recognized in the top 100
of the Journal of African Youth Literature in 2020. Thabo Clive Mathonsi has wrote 8
novels,with 4 published already! THE LEGEND OF THE NYAMINYAMI is his next book!
For More Details >> Email : mathonsithaboc@[Link]
Contact : +263772375447
