Interpersonal Communication

Week 5
 Learning Outcome
After completing the topics students should be able to:
• Explain the meaning of interpersonal communication
• Lists the elements of interpersonal communication
• Describe the axioms in interpersonal communication
• Describe the role of perceptions in interpersonal
communication
• Describe the skills of conversation in interpersonal
communication
Basic Model of Communication Process

3
 What is interpersonal communication
Definition
• Any interaction between two people
• Two persons interacting a dyad

Communication between two or more

connected individuals that involves:
• dyadic primacy (the two-person unit is of
central importance)
• dyadic coalitions (two-person groups form
even in larger groups)
• dyadic consciousness (the two
persons think of themselves as a
pair)
• interpersonal relationships can
develop from face-to-face
interactions as well as those you
have on the Internet.
• serves a variety of purposes: learn,
relate, influence, play, and help etc.
 Elements of interpersonal
communication
[Link]-receiver/communicator is the
person who sends and receives
interpersonal messages simultaneously.
[Link]-decoding refers to the act of
putting meaning into verbal and nonverbal
messages and deriving meaning from the
messages you receive from others.
[Link] is the knowledge of and ability
to use effectively your own communication
system.
4. Messages are the signals that serve as stimuli for a
receiver; metamessages are messages that refer to
other messages.
Feedback messages are messages that are sent
back by the receiver to the source in response to
other messages.
Feedforward messages are messages that preface
other messages and ask that the listener approach
future messages in a certain way.
Messages can quickly overload the channels,
making meaningful interaction impossible
[Link] are the media through which
messages pass and which act as a bridge
between source and receiver, for
example, the vocal-auditory channel
used in speaking or the coetaneous-
tactile channel used in touch.
6. Noise is the inevitable physical,
physiological, psychological, and
semantic interference that distorts a
message.
[Link] /situation is the physical,
social-psychological, temporal, and
cultural environment in which
communication takes place.
[Link] is the moral dimension of
communication, the study of what
makes behavior moral or good as
opposed to immoral and bad
 Axioms of interpersonal communication
AXIOMS: General principles that help explain what
interpersonal communication is and how it works
[Link] communication is grounded in theory
and research.
 The theories of interpersonal communication are
the organized generalizations about
interpersonal communication and the evidence
bearing on them.
Through theory and research you learn how
interpersonal communication works and from this,
you can derive principles for achieving more
effective interpersonal interaction
2. Interpersonal communication is a transactional process
– Interpersonal communication is a process, an
ongoing event, in which the elements are
interdependent; communication is constantly
occurring and changing.
– Don't expect clear-cut beginnings or endings or
sameness from one time to another.
3. Interpersonal communication is ambiguous.
– All messages are potentially ambiguous; different
people will derive different meanings from the
"same" message.
– There is ambiguity in all relationships.
Transactional Model
[Link] relationships may be symmetrical or
complementary.
Interpersonal interactions may stimulate similar
or different behavior patterns, and relationships
may be described as basically symmetrical or
complementary.
Develop an awareness of symmetrical and
complementary relationships. Avoid clinging rigidly
to behavioral patterns that are no longer useful
and mirroring another's destructive behaviors.
5. Interpersonal communication refers
to content and relationship.
– All communications refer both to
content and to the relationships
between the participants.
– Be aware of and respond to
relationship messages as well as
content messages.
6. Interpersonal communication is inevitable,
irreversible, and unrepeatable.
– When in an interactional situation, you
cannot not communicate; you cannot
uncommunicate; you cannot repeat
exactly a specific message.
– Seek to control as many aspects of your
behavior as possible. In listening, seek out
nonobvious messages. Beware of
messages you may later wish to take back,
for example, conflict and commitment
messages.
What is your perception about …..
• Mr. Bean ?
• I Malaysia ?
 Perceiving others
• Perception: The process of recognizing and
understanding others
• By understanding perception, engineers can
deal with others effectively
• Is the process by which you become aware of
objects, events and peoples through your
senses : sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing.
• Your perceptions result from what exists in the
outside world and from your experiences,
desires, needs, wants and loves.
• Stages of perception
– You sense, you pick up some kind of stimulation
– You organize the stimuli in some way
– You interpret and evaluate what you perceive
– You stored your perception in memory
– You retrieve when it needed (recall)
 Stimulation
• Stimulation: sense organs are stimulated
• Selective stimulation by selective exposure; choosing
preconceived views that satisfy personal needs
• Selective exposure: exposure to people or messages
that conforms to personal existing beliefs, contribute
to personal objectives, or prove satisfying in some
way
• Also a stimulus that is at a greater intensity than
surrounding stimuli is more likely to be perceived.
 Organization
• Organization organize information picked up by
the senses in three ways: rules, schemata, and
scripts
•  Organization by rules:
– Proximity: things close together are perceived as a
unit. Verbal and nonverbal signals are considered as
a unit.
– Temporal: things occurring together in time are a unit
– Similarity: things physically similar form a unit
– Contrast: things different from each other do not
belong together.
Organization by Schemata
• Mental templates or structures help
organize daily information; general ideas
about people or social roles. Re:
stereotypes.
Organization by Scripts
• Organized body of information about
some, action, event, or procedure; a
general idea of how these should play
out
 interpretation-evaluation
• Interpretation-evaluation Inevitably subjective
and greatly influenced by your experiences,
needs, wants, values, beliefs about the way
things are or should be, expectations, physical
and emotional state, and so on.
• Interpretation-evaluation influenced by
personal rules, schemata, and scripts as well as
gender
 Memory
• Perception, Interpretation, and evaluation are
stored in memory for later use.
• We can only perceive the world around us
through memory of names, understanding,
and recognition.
 Recall
• Recalling or accessing stored memory.
• Reconstructing everything in a manner
meaningful to myself, depending on schemata,
and scripts
INCREASING ACCURACY IN INTERPERSONAL PERCEPTION

1. Analyze Perceptions
• Become aware of personal perceptions;
subject them to logical analysis, and critical
thinking.
– Recognize the personal role: emotional an
physiological state will influence the meaning
given to personal perceptions
• Be aware of personal bias
• Gender will influence personal perceptions
• Avoid early conclusions: on the basis of personal
observations of behaviors, formulate hypothesis to
test against additional information and evidence
rather than drawing conclusions and then looking to
confirm them.
– Delay conclusions till a wide variety of clues have been
processed.
– Avoid one-clue conclusions.
– Look for a variety of clues pointing in the same direction.
– Be alert to contrary clues that seem to refute the original
hypothesis
– Seek validation from others.
– Ask if personal perceptions may be distorted in some way.
2. Check Perceptions
• Make perceptions accurate.  
• Explore the thoughts and feelings of the other
person, not to prove that your initial
perception was correct.
• With this technique chances of
misinterpretation another’s feelings is
lessened.
• give the other person an opportunity to
elaborate on thoughts and feelings
Two steps:
• First: Describe what is seen or heard, descriptions
ore not really objective but influenced by
personal identity, emotional state.
– Describe thoughts about what is happening, offer
several possibilities.
• Second: seek confirmation.
– Ask the other if personal perception is accurate
– don’t read thoughts fro behavior
– Don’t phrase the request for confirmation defensively;
ask supportively
– Would you rather…
– Are you…
3. Reduce Uncertainty
 Helps achieve greater accuracy in perceptions

• Low-anxiety cultures: do not feel threatened

by uncertainty. It is expected in life.

• High-anxiety cultures: o much to avoid

uncertainty and have anxiety about what will
happen next
• Communication problems are great when
low-anxiety and high-anxiety cultures come
in contact.
– Work flow differences
– Different view of rules
– Assignments are vague or detailed
– Superior’s knowledge
Strategies to reduce uncertainty:
• Observe others while they are involved in an active task,
interaction with others in informal situation; true self is
more likely evident.
• Manipulate situations to observe in more revealing and
specific contexts: interviews, auditions, teaching
situations.
• Listening to a group as an observer before becoming
involved reduces uncertainty and appropriate
contributions as possible.
• Collect information by asking others.
• Interact by asking questions, disclose information about
self and create an environment that encourages
disclosures.
4. Increase Cultural Sensitivity

• Recognizing and sensitivity to cultural differences

helps increase accuracy in perception: customs vary
across cultures.

• Within cultures there are differences; do not make

assumptions or assign serotypes. Recognizing
differences will encourage accurate perceptions.

• Cultural sensitivity counteracts the difficulty in

understanding nonverbal messages.
Improve intercultural communication
through:
• Prepare yourself
• Reduce uncertainty
• Recognize differences
• Confront personal stereotypes
• Adjust communication
• Manage culture shock
Interpersonal Communication : Conversation

• When two people exchange message

• Whether face to face, telephone and varies
channels
• Five stages
– Opening
– Feedfoward
– Business
– Feedback
– Closing
 Conversation

Five Stages - The Opening

• Verbal or nonverbal greeting

• Reciprocated

Opening

Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 35

 Conversation

Five Stages - The Opening

• Verbal or nonverbal greeting

• Reciprocated

Opening

Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 36

 Conversation
Five Stages - Feedforward
• Focus of conversation
• Identify tone
• In e-mail the title is the feedforward

Feedforward
Opening

Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 37

 Conversation
Five Stages - Business
• Substance of conversation
• Exchange of roles
• No permanent record
Business
Feedforward
Opening

Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 38

 Conversation
Five Stages - Feedback
• Signal end of business
• May backup to business if other not finished

Business
Feedforward Feedback
Opening

Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 39

 Conversation
Five Stages - Closing
• Signals end of conversation
• Express pleasure in interaction
• Leave-Taking cues

Business
Feedforward Feedback
Opening Closing

Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 40

 Conversation

Conversation Skills
 Dialogue  Empathy
 Mindfulness  Positiveness
 Flexibility  Immediacy
 Cultural sensitivity  Interaction management
 Metacommunication  Expressiveness
 Openness  Other-Orientation

Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 41

 Mindfulness
• Is a state of awareness in which you are
conscious of your reasons for thinking or
behaving.
• Increasing mindfulness
– Create and recreate categories
– Be open to new information
– Beware of relying too heavily on first impressions

Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 42

 Dialogue/Monologue
Increasing dialogue
– Demonstrate respect for the other person. Allow that
person the right to make his or her own choices
– Avoid negative criticism

Microsoft Image
• Example : I didn’t like that ideas
– Avoid negative judgment
• Example : you’re not a very good listener
– Keep channels of communication open by displaying
a willingness to listen.
– Avoid manipulating the conversation to try to get
person to say something positive about you or force
the other person to think.
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 43
 Flexibility—Realize...
• Is the ability to adjust communication
strategies on the basis of the unique situation
• Increasing flexibility
– No two situations or people are the same
– Communication takes place in context
– Everything is in a state of flux
– Every situation offers different option
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 44
 Cultural sensitivity
•Is an attitude and way of behaving in which you are
aware of and acknowledge cultural differences
•Increasing cultural sensitivity
• Prepare yourself – read about and listen carefully
for culturally influenced behaviors
• Recognize and face your own fears of acting in
appropriately with members of different cultures
• Recognize differences
• Become conscious of the cultural rules and
customs of others.
 Metacommunication
• Is communication that refer to other communicaton
• Examples :
– verbally – do you understand what I’m trying to say
– Non verbal – you can hug someone you are consoling
• Increasing metacommunication
– Explain feelings along with your thoughts
– Give clear feedforward to help other person get a general picture
of the messages
– Paraphrase
– Use to talk about communication patterns – example “ I‘d like to
talk about the way you talk about me to our friend
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 46
 Openness
• Openness has to do with you willingness to
selfdisclose
• To reveal information about yourself that you
might normally keep hidden
• Increasing openness
– Self disclose when appropriate
– Respond to those with whom you are interacting
– Own your own feelings and thoughts – take
responsibility what are you saying
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 47
 Empathy
• Is an ability to feel what others feels from that
person’s point of view without losing your own
identity
• Increasing Empathy
– Avoid evaluating, judging, or criticizing the other
person’s behaviours
– Focus your concentration
– Reflect back to the speaker
– When appropriate, use your own self disclosures
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 48
 Positiveness
• Involve the use of positive rather than negative
• For examples:
– Negative: I wish you would not ignore my opinions
– Positive : I feel good when you ask my opinions
• Increasing positiveness
– Look for and compliment the positive in the person or
in the person’s work
– Express satisfaction
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 49
 Immediacy
• Is a quality of interpersonal effectiveness that
creates a sense of togertherness
• Show interest and attention
• Increasing immediacy
– Express psychological closeness and openness
– Use the other person’s name – say name
– Focus on the other person’s remark – listen carefully
– Be culturally sensitive
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2009 50
 Interaction Management
• Techniques and strategies by which you regulate and carry on
• Increasing interaction management
– Maintain conversational turns, passing the opportunity to
speak back and forth through appropriate eye movement,
vocal expressions.
– keep the conversation fluent, avoiding long and awkward
pauses.
– Communicate with consistent verbal and Non Verbal
messages
– Avoiding sending contradictory signals
 Expressiveness
• Is the skill of communicating genuine involvement
• It includes abilities such as taking responsibility for
your thoughts and feelings
• Providing appropriate feedback
• Increasing expressiveness
– Use appropriate variations in vocal rate, pitch
– Use appropriate gestures
– Culturally aware
– Give verbal and non verbal feedback to show that you
are listening
 Other- Orientation
• Is the ability to adapt your messages to the
other person
• Increasing other orientation
– Show consideration and respect
– Acknowledge the other person’s felling as
legitimate
– Focus your messages on the other person