From love bombing and gold-digging tactics to reputational risks, when the super-rich go dating, there’s rather a lot that can go wrong.
‘As well the risk of getting rejected or hurt, dating for the super-rich also involves financial and reputational risk,’ says Victoria Pigott, Partner and Specialist in civil fraud at Mishcon de Reya.
‘If you have a public profile and considerable wealth, you may well be a target for gold-diggers or fraudsters. Those keen to date the UHNW may have an alternative agenda beyond finding 'the one', seeing their date as a way to obtain expensive gifts and/or gain entry to previously unattainable social circles and lifestyles,’ Pigott adds.
Of course, dating can be hard work at the best of times but for UHNWs, there’s far more at stake.
‘New relationships can attract media scrutiny in public and blackmail and extortion in private,’ says Antonia Felix, Partner in Family at Mishcon de Reya. ‘We are regularly contacted by clients who are being blackmailed after entering into relationships they now regret. The worst-case scenarios involve false allegations of abuse – which on occasion have had life changing reputational impact,’ Felix adds.
For international UHNWs who may be dating while overseas or travelling, there is even greater risk of being specifically targeted. Natasha Faust, Co-founder and Director of private intelligence and security firm Kiris Group notes, ‘When it comes to dating via apps, be extra careful while travelling or abroad. In certain cities criminals and scammers specifically target visitors through these platforms. For the first few encounters, always meet in a public place, consider sharing your location with a friend, and keep a close eye on your food and drink.’
It’s also important to understand that so-called ‘exclusive’ dating agencies aimed at matchmaking successful, high-flying UHNWs don’t necessarily offer protection from this.
As Pigott warns, ‘It only takes a quick search online to see that there are videos, articles and companies offering tips on how to date an "UHNW" individual. Of course, some people will be genuine, and it is possible to find a meaningful relationship amongst all of this. However, some of the high-end dating agencies are eye-wateringly expensive yet do not vet the clients in the way they state or there are far less people to choose from than they advertise.’
Romance fraud is a big issue for the super-wealthy. ‘There are people out there planning to meet a wealthy partner in a short space of time. They push for quick short marriages, without pre-nuptial agreements, which can put your family trusts and estates at risk', says Felix.
‘Unsuspecting partners are persuaded to give money away or buy expensive gifts. Jewellery, such as rings, in almost all cases do not need to be returned if a relationship ends. Others have discovered after only a short time or a one night stand, that they are going to become a parent. This links them to the mother or father for the child's minority and they are financially responsible for the child. The "Tinder Swindlers" are out there and you cannot assume that someone is who they say they are. Anna Sorokin is one such example,’ Felix adds.
For those worried that there might be more risk involved than they can handle, our experts explain that it’s about being prepared.
What to consider before saying ‘I do’
‘Be wary of anyone who pressures you to make quick decisions, or who shares overly elaborate stories to gain trust. Don’t hesitate to seek professional advice, background checks or due diligence when entering new relationships. Trust your instincts – if something doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t,’ Faust tells Tatler.
‘Living a Secure Lifestyle is not about taking the romance out, it's about creating the right conditions for genuine connections to thrive. We've seen our clients meet and marry incredible life partners while maintaining their safety, privacy, and peace of mind', says Kate Bright, Founder of private security advisory firm UMBRA International.
Bright recommends five key points to consider before going on a date.
1. Know Who You're Meeting - due diligence and basic background checks can go a long way. If introduced through an app or even through a friend, verify their identity discreetly
2. Control the Environment - Choose the venue and transport method. Private dining, members-only clubs, or even having security nearby (discreetly) can provide peace of mind.
3. Manage Digital Exposure - Avoid sharing real-time location, using personal contact details too soon, or having photos taken without consent.
4. Guard Your Reputation - Assume that anything you say or do could be recorded or shared. Consider legal protections like NDAs if necessary.
5. Trust Your Instincts - If something isn't right, don't ignore it. Wealth attracts attention, but not all attention is well-intentioned. Prioritise your emotional security as much as physical protection.
Bright suggests that those seeking a relationship undertake advice from security experts ahead of dating to help uncover potential red flags early on and build resilience against similar situations in the future.
Pigott advises anyone dating to be realistic. ‘If there is a considerable age gap and wealth inequality, ask questions about them and their life and introduce your new relationship to trusted friends and family. Ask their opinions and be prepared for them to disapprove. If they are real friends, they will have your interests at heart and can see things more objectively on occasion. Crucially, don't become a parent unexpectedly as you will be financially responsible for the child for the next 18 years', Pigott warns.
For more gold-standard guidance on security, reputation and wealth management visit the Tatler Advisory.
