And you are here why?

Prepare 1 bunch dandelion leaves .   How?  Well, it depends on how tender they are, but basically Remove the bottom 2" or so of the stems Wash thoroughly.  Really.  Odds are that there is more dirt on them than you can shake a stick at Chop finely.  The finer you chop it, the more the flavors will integrate later. (And yeah, you're chopping the leaves and remaining stems...) Heat 1 tbsp oil in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Add 1 tsp cumin seeds and saute briefly till it crackles and sputters. Add in 1/2 tsp turmeric 1/2 tsp chilli powder 1/2 finely chopped jalapeno and saute for around 10 seconds till everything sizzles.   If the mix is a bit dry, you might want to add another teaspoon or two of oil.  Or not. Up to you. Add the chopped dandelion leaves from above, turn the heat up, and stir well till the leaves have completely wilted - around 15 seconds or so. Add 1 can black beans , drained and thoroughly rinsed....

Cube 1/4 cup mangoes into 1/2" chunks .  Place on aluminum foil, and broil for around 5 minutes till the tops are slightly charred (If you can't find fresh mangoes, get frozen ones.  They're already cubed!) (If you can't find that either, pineapple works just as well)   Dice 2 large tomtaos lengthwise into cubes, approximately the size of a black-bean - you want all the ingredients to be, roughly, the same size so that they mix up well - and place in a large bowl Add the following as a dressing 1/2 cup chopped cilantro 1 lemon juiced 1 medium  jalapeño diced fine 1" grated ginger 2 tbsp oil 1/4 tsp salt (or more, to taste)  and mix everything together. (This is a bit of a coarse salad, so don't worry about whisking the dressing or anything like that!)   Distribute into four bowls, and top with the broiled mangoes. If you can get your hands on perline (small fresh mozarella balls), use a slotted tablespoon to scatter 1tbsp on each...

Stephen Wildish brings it to Beans, with predictably hilarious results