Building Strong and Healthy Relationships: The Essential Elements for Growing Deeper in Love and Nurturing Strong and Healthy Relationships

Copyright © 2012 by Denise P. Lafortune.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

iUniverse books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

iUniverse

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.iuniverse.com

1-800-Authors (1-800-288-4677)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4759-2318-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4759-2319-3 (ebk)

iUniverse rev. date: 06/04/2012

Contents

Acknowledgments

Preface

Introduction

PART 1

Starting Point

Chapter 1 Starting Point

Chapter 2 How To Start A Relationship

Chapter 3Stop The Bleeding

Chapter 4 The Twelve Essential Ingredients For Building A Healthy Relationship

PART 2

Be On Safe Ground

Chapter 5 Be On Safe Ground

Chapter 6 How To Bring Love Into A Relationship

PART 3

Singleness

Chapter 7 Singleness

Chapter 8 The Causes Of Singleness Problems

Chapter 9 Preventing Problems Of Singleness

Chapter 10 Causes Of Good And Poor Mate Selection

PART 4

How To Let Go Of Someone You Love

Who Doesn’t Treat You Right

Chapter 11 How To Let Go Of Someone You Love Who Doesn’t Treat You Right

Chapter 12 Conflict And Relationship

Chapter 13 Establishing Strong Security In Your Relationship: Advice To Married Couples

PART 5

Missing The Plan Of God For Sexuality

Chapter 14 Missing The Plan Of God For Sexuality

Chapter 15 Preventing The Next Generation: Sex Apart From Marriage

Chapter 16 Preventing Pregnancy Problems

PART 6

Building A Strong Family

Chapter 17 Building A Strong Family

Chapter 18 The Price Of Wisdom Is Beyond Rubies

PART 7

Family Manners For Kids Of All Ages

Chapter 19 Family Manners For Kids Of All Ages

Chapter 20 Babysitting

Chapter 21 Manners For Younger Kids

PART

Relationship And Friendship Marketplace Open 24/7

Chapter 22 Food For Souls

Bibliography

About The Author

To my late father, Lucien Paulin, who left behind an imperishable legacy, the Gospel of Jesus Christ, to me. You taught me the best things in life, how to become a vessel of honor that God can use. Thanks, Daddy, for teaching us what really matters in life and for showing us what faith really is. I will be eternally grateful for your example.

* * *

To my mother, Lorca Paulin, for your sacrificial, unconditional love expressed to me on a daily basis. My mom’s integrity, humility, love, and compassion for all people have made an indelible impression on my life.

* * *

To my husband, Jean C. Lafortune, whom I’ve learned a lot from. I’m ready to share a piece of it with the wide world. Our thirteen years of life experience are now becoming live in this book, and people will learn a lot and survive any storms. Love never fails. I will always love you!

Acknowledgments

I want to extend my personal and sincere thanks to the Holy Spirit. Without your expertise, this project wouldn’t have been possible. Thanks for encouraging me to put my heart on paper.

Dr. Jacqueline Narcisse, your godly wisdom and unique insights have made me stronger.

Galilee Ministries Bible College and Seminar Pastoral and Chaplaincy School is the great facilitator. Thanks for bringing us all together and helping us to see the world as our audience.

Reverend Risaldo and First Lady Marie Madeleine Lacombe, I’ve been blessed to work alongside you. You are the greatest people on the face of the earth. Thanks for believing so passionately in me. Reverend Seaton D. and First Lady Wilson, you have helped me take the message of hope and encouragement to the four corners of the world. To my immediate family, you know me the best, you love me the most, and you have supported me in all my endeavors. I love all of you very much!

Preface

Building relationships is of pivotal and fundamental importance in every sphere of life, whether spiritual, social, political, business, family, or ministerial. In her book, Building Strong and Healthy Relationships, Minister Lafortune imparts treasures of truths, which are indispensable in building a healthy marriage and family life.

Minister Lafortune shows from her experience and diligent research that building marital and family relationships is not by chance or wishful thinking but by hard work predicated on sound conceptual and pragmatic principles.

It is my privilege and pleasure, based on the facts stated above, to write the preface to this wonderful book. The book is replete with relevant principles and methods that can help to advance and to transform chaotic marital and family relationships. Its ability to guide and steer marriages and family relationships is unquestionable, as evidenced in its content.

I took note of some of the most relevant sections of Building Strong and Healthy Relationships. They are as follows:

 How to start a strong relationship. This appears in the introduction of the book. It gives bedrock ideas, beginning with God, on how to begin relationships of different types.

 Charming is deceitfully into wrong relationships.

 The twelve essential ingredients for building a healthy relationship. This aspect of the book lays down twelve basic principles that are prerequisites for a strong relationship from the author’s perspective.

 Maintaining a happy relationship. It should be obvious to all that it is not enough to start a relationship; it must also be maintained in an She shows you how to do both.

 Mate selection. I find this insightful, relevant, and interesting, and I am convinced it will be the same for you.

 In addition to the above, she gives guiding light in the areas of sex in marriage, dating, conflict resolution, singleness, sex education, masturbation, preventing pregnancy, how to raise children of destiny, and much more.

The book is also laced with biblical quotations that support her views and provide food for one’s soul. She also supplies romantic love quotes that should help to stimulate cold and lukewarm couples to feel the pulsating beat of romantic sentiment in their hearts and bodies and to express it to one another in practical ways. Minister Lafortune comes across in the book as a knowledgeable and persuasive teacher and concludes it as a passionate poet.

Well done, Minister Denise Lafortune. Building Strong and Healthy Relationships is destined for success. It is one of the treasured volumes in my library.

Rev. Seaton D. Wilson

Pastor, Speaker, and Author

Introduction

What Makes Relationships

Strong and Healthy

Having the thought to write a book about building strong and healthy relationships was not easy, nor my idea or intention. At a period of time, I was in the middle of a crisis where my marriage was falling apart. That’s when the Holy Spirit inspired me to write a book about relationships. I knew that if I was confused, others who needed and were looking for a solution to a similar situation were probably confused as well. Sometimes, the way God operates can get you confused if you’re in the flesh. See, if I had not experienced the pain and suffering, I would not have been capable of helping others to get the proper solution. But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; and base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in His presence (1 Cor. 1:27–29). When you need more attention, that’s when God will most likely bring hope and comfort to others.

It all started when I was away from home and needed some time to think about what the best thing to do in that particular situation was. As a minister and preacher’s wife, I felt I should be a role model. I wanted to respect my vow for better and worse and practice what I preached. It was a very delicate case, and I cannot explain to anyone exactly what that’s all about. And it took the wisdom of God to lead me in the right direction. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Ps. 11:10). Being in a relationship is not a game. Some people take it lightly, and the result is so painful. There are a lot of divorces and separations, and in certain cases, the children pay the consequences of immature and irresponsible partners. This book will help a lot of people at any age to survive in their relationships, friendships, and partnerships. All those are related in a certain way.

A relationship is defined as a connection with others or sharing with others. There are two kinds of connection: bad connection and good connection. As I go further and deeper into more details about relationships, you will be able to taste the ingredients and the seasonings and spices of the book. We are consecrated kings and queens of the Most High God. In order for