Skitsblitz

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© Copyright 2014 Cormac G. McDermott BA MEconSc.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

ISBN:

978-1-4907-2156-9 (sc)

ISBN:

978-1-4907-2157-6 (e)

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Trafford rev. 01/06/2014

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CONTENTS

CHAPTER 1: Comedy Sketches

CHAPTER 1:

Comedy Sketches

SCENE FROM A BAR ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF DUBLIN—SHAUNA SEES A GUY SHE LIKES AND DECIDES TO FLIRT WITH HIM.

SHAUNA:   ‘Hi. I’m Shauna. What’s your name?’

GUY:   ‘Hi. My name is Jamie’.

SHAUNA:   ‘Where are you from and what do you work at?’

JAMIE:   ‘I live in Blackrock and work for a conservatory conversions company. Where are you from?’

SHAUNA:   ‘Donnybrook. Conservatory conversions, ey? Does that mean I have to take up rugby if I would like you to do a job for me then?’

JAMIE:   ‘Donnybrook. Very nice. What do you mean about taking up rugby?’

SHAUNA:   ‘Well, if I don’t score a try, I have no chance of getting an attempt at a ‘conversion’, do I?’!

JAMIE:   ‘Oh right, I see what you mean. That’s very clever. You seem to be bright. Are you a university student or something?’

SHAUNA:   ‘I actually just graduated with a master’s degree in law from University College, Dublin only a few months back. Why don’t you give me your number and I’ll give you a call some time’.

JAMIE:   ‘Sure. That sounds cool. Can I buy you a cocktail?’

SHAUNA:   ‘No, please let me buy you one’!

THE YOUNG COUPLE CONTINUE TO TALK AND LEARN MORE ABOUT EACH OTHER.

SCENE FROM A BAR ON THE NORTH SIDE OF DUBLIN—A GROUP OF MEN IN THEIR FORTIES ARE WATCHING THE REPUBLIC OF IRELAND PLAY AN INTERNATIONAL SOCCER GAME.

JACKO:   ‘That was a bad result for us, ey?’

NEZ:   ‘Yeah. With that group of players it looks like we may not qualify for a major tournament for quite some time’.

WALSHER:   ‘So much for that ‘You’ll Never Beat The Irish’ nonsense’.

CHARLIE:   ‘The only way you wouldn’t ‘beat’ the Irish these days is if you sent eleven boiled eggs in green jerseys out onto that pitch’!

IT TAKES A WHILE FOR THE QUIP TO REGISTER WITH THE LADS BUT THEY ALL CHUCKLE AND AGREE WHEN IT DOES.

SCENE FROM AN INTERNET FORUM—A BIT OF BANTER IS FLOWING BETWEEN SOME FOOTBALL FANS.

BILLY BOY:   ‘Enjoy winning the league while you can, Tim. We’ll be back before long’.

TIM:   ‘Enjoying winning