Couples Skills: How to Create Deeper Relationships For Couples and Strengthen Intimacy In Their Relationships. Advice About How To Make The Relationship And Communication More Effective

COUPLE SKILLS

A Quick Guide On How To Create Deeper Relationships For Couples With Concerns About How To Strengthen Intimacy In Their Relationships. Advice About How To Make The Relationship And Communication More Effective

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By

EMY SATIR

© Copyright 2020 By Emy Satir

All Rights Reserved.

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Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

IDENTIFYING YOUR COUPLE SYSTEM

DISCOVER WHY SEEMINGLY GOOD RELATIONSHIPS END UP IN CONFLICT

HOW COUPLES CAN PRACTICE CLEAN COMMUNICATION

HOW COUPLES CAN BREAK NEGATIVE PATTERN

HOW YOU CAN COPE WITH AN ANGRY PARTNER

DEALING WITH AN ANGRY PERSON WHO HAS AN ALCOHOL / DRUGS PROBLEM

HOW OFTEN DOES THE AVERAGE COUPLE FIGHT?

HOW TO CREATE GREATER INTIMACY

DEVELOP THE SKILLS YOU NEED TO LIVE HAPPY AND HARMONIOUS LIVES

DISCOVER TONS OF WAYS TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP FRESH AND FUN

IF YOU'RE THINKING OF BREAKING UP WITH YOUR PARTNER, ASK YOURSELF THESE 8 QUESTIONS FIRST

WHEN TO BREAK UP WITH YOUR PARTNER

LEARN NEW WAYS OF MAKING YOUR PARTNER FEEL VALUED AND APPRECIATED

FIND OUT HOW TO AVOID THE NO-NO’S THAT CAN KILL A RELATIONSHIP

WHY WILL YOU MARRY THE WRONG PERSON

GET THE BEST TRUST-BUILDING TIPS AVAILABLE THAT WORK!

DISCOVER HOW TO SAFEGUARD YOUR RELATIONSHIP FROM PROBLEMS BY SETTING THE RIGHT FOUNDATION

ONLY THE TWO OF US: PARTNERSHIP RULES FOR PARTNERS

THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAYS TO STOP CONFLICT RIGHT AWAY

101 COUPLE SKILLS YOU CAN START IMPLEMENTING RIGHT AWAY

INTRODUCTION

Love requires a lot of work, but when it comes to relationships, it pays to work smarter. This book is going to show you how to work smarter in your relationship. You will learn how to improve communication, better deal with problems, and resolve conflicts with the one you love healthily and creatively. Each chapter teaches you an essential skill that promotes greater satisfaction in relationships and deeper intimacy. Before we delve into the chapters, the following are the several summarized skills that are necessary for the success of any relationship:

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Couple Skill # 1 – LISTENING

Listening is the most essential of all communication skills that can establish and maintain intimacy – but it is usually the most robust skill to learn when it counts the most. When you listen exceptionally well, you comprehend your partner better, you stay in tune attentively, you enjoy a better relationship, and you know why your partner says and does things.

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Couple Skill # 2 – EXPRESSING FEELINGS AND STATING NEEDS

Some people fail to meet pressing needs by being too passive, while others fail to be too aggressive. You can gain knowledge on how to express your emotions and ask for what you want, assertively and appropriately. If you are weak in one of these abilities, your relationship will be impaired. If you lack both of them, it may be doomed.

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Couples Skill # 3 – RECIPROCAL REINFORCEMENT

Reciprocal reinforcement simply means that each person does more than the other person likes. If your relationship has become dull, irritating, and unsatisfactory, mutual reinforcement is the ideal starting point.

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Couple Skill # 4 – CLEAN COMMUNICATION

Pejorative communication between a couple undermines the self-esteem of each partner and makes it almost impossible to solve each other's problems. Clean communication, on the other hand, protects self-esteem and creates a safe place to work on problems. Stop harming your relationship and take part in the session of this book. Learn the Ten Commandments of Speech and Other Foundations so that you can eradicate pejorative speech and be heard by your partner.

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Couple Skills # 5 – IDENTIFY AND CHANGING COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS

Because cognitive distortions can be so damaging to your relationship, it is essential to learn to recognize them when they occur. There are eight common cognitive distortions: tunnel vision, assumed intent, magnification, global labeling, bad dichotomization, fractured logic, faulty control, and failure. Your job is to learn more about your thinking patterns; then do the exercises that will help you make the adjustments you need to bring more peace to your relationship.

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Couple Skills # 6-NEGOTIATION

Conflict is inevitable. All couples are fighting from time to time. Negotiation is a distinct and valuable communication skill that needs to be learned. If you follow the guidelines, you can be a fair and effective negotiator in your relationship. You'll be able to get what you want more often, without manipulating or alienating your partner. Take note of this session you will encounter in this book and learn how to negotiate in your relationship.

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Couple Skills # 7 – PROBLEM-SOLVING

You and your partner can learn how to solve a problem in a single session. However, problem-solving, as a couple, requires a collaborative set. If either of you harbors old resentments, private agendas, or looks more for someone to blame than for solutions, the process is doomed. Each partner must be open, cooperative and reasonably objective to solve a mutual problem to work. I'm going to be happy to teach you the skills you need in this book. Now let’s move on to the sequel of this book for more advanced skills.

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Couple Skills # 8 – ASSESSING AND CHANGING AVERSIVE STRATEGIES

Aversive strategies often produce excellent short-term outcomes: a partner is hurt or intimidated to give you what you want. But, over time, aversive strategies have ceased to work. People become numb and unaffected, rebellious or profoundly alienated. Intimacy and trust are replaced by anger, detachment or resistance. It's a very high price. In this book, you will learn how to identify and change the aversive strategies most commonly used to control others in relationships. You can evaluate which strategies you tend to use and become more aware of their impact on you and your partner. Finally, you will have the opportunity to explore and practice the two essential skills of healthy conflict resolution.

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Couple Skills # 9 – COPING WITH ANGER

Anger is causing a lot of damage to your relationship. Divorce statistics provide evidence of the role of anger in marriage breakdowns. Repeated episodes of anger have the same effect on the relationship that cuts the skin. Anger creates an emotional scar tissue that grows thicker with every new wound. Chronic anger makes people rigid and highly defensive, and the long-term effect is a loss of sympathy and intimacy. If you want to know how to deal with your anger issues properly, learning this pair of skills will be extremely beneficial to you. Once you've absorbed and integrated the lessons in this chapter and mastered the exercises, you'll feel empowered. Your relationship is going to improve considerably.

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Couple Skills # 10 – COPING WITH ANGRY PARTNER

Assertive behavior allows you to stand up for your rights, express personal likes and dislikes, comfortably accept compliments, openly disagree with someone, and say no. Here you will learn from mastering the exercises in this book all the effective ways to respond assertively and spread an angry partner and de-escalate a potential angry exchange.

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Couple Skills # 11 – TIME OUT

Time Out is a vital skill to keep fighting from escalating to verbal or physical abuse. It may be the single most useful strategy for stopping violence and battering syndrome.

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Couple Skills # 12 – IDENTIFYING SCHEMAS ABOUT YOUR PARTNER

Harmful schemes about your partner's motivations, intentions, feelings, and judgments about you can be enormously destructive. It begins with a certain ambiguity of behavior that you interpret negatively. Once you have interpreted them, all future related behavior tends to be labeled the same way. A schema is developing over time. And every bit becomes as real and believable as your knowledge that the sky is blue. The schema grows into a painful thorn; it explains more and more of your partner's behavior. And more and more of your behavior is determined by that. Take part in this book for the enormous benefit of your marriage.

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Couple Skills # 13 – OLD TAPES: SEPARATING YOUR PARTNER FROM YOUR PARENTS

You can treat your partner as if he or she were your parent or someone else in your past. This parataxic distortion can occur in intimate relationships when high-stress interactions that cause anxiety increase the likelihood. It's as if all the hurts you've experienced as a child are ready to be triggered by the slightest provocation. Any behavior, even slightly reminiscent of the person responsible for these injuries in the past, may reawaken a whole series of accompanying reactions. However, the recognition of this harmful association between your partner and your parent is not enough to break the link's influence. Only when you can separate the two people in your mind will you stop reacting to your partner as if he or she were your parent. The skill of this couple is going to help you recognize and break that association.

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Couple Skills # 14 – COPING WITH YOUR DEFENSES

The defenses most commonly used in intimate relationships are prevention, denial and action. Defenses do two things: first, they help you avoid or deal with pain, and second, they undermine your relationship. Since they temporarily decrease pain each time you use them, you use them more often. They are so natural that they appear unconsciously. Be mindful, however, that all defense comes with a price. Every time you defend yourself from pain, your relationship is further damaged. This book is an effective solution to the defenses you use in your relationship.

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Couple Skills # 15 – DISCOVERING YOUR COUPLE SYSTEM

As the system evolves, it seems that the more things that you seek to change, the more things remain constant. Couple systems are seen as a circular chain of stimulus and response in which each person's behavior is a response to the other, and each action is also a response. Each partner has characteristic behaviors that support and promote his or her particular role in the repetitive patterns of interaction between the spouses in a marriage. The only way to prevent deadly spirals like this is to learn how to identify your particular system, recognize patterns of behavior that don't work, and develop strategies for intervention.

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Couple Skills # 16 – INTERVENING IN YOUR SYSTEM

Identifying your system doesn't necessarily help you change the system. There's nothing automatic about the step from identification to intervention. It will take a dedicated effort to carry out the exercises in this book to bring about real systemic change.

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Couple Skills # 17 – STANDARDS, RULES, AND ACCEPTANCE

Couples continue to enter into relationships with varying standards. Your vision of an ideal relationship gives rise to the expectations you carry to your relationship. Such standards are codified in the unspeakable laws. This book will teach you what happens when the dream becomes a nightmare – when you and your partner have conflicting expectations and thus conflicting rules about issues like division of labor, how to raise children, how to spend money, and so on. During this chapter, you will do activities designed to help you recognize a dysfunctional vision, explore the ramifications of your secret rules, and learn how to make your desires and needs to be known more clearly and effectively.

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Couple Skills # 18 – Improve YOUR LOVE MAPS

Couples who have comprehensive love maps of each other's world are much more equipped to deal with stressful events and conflict. A successful marriage depends on continually increasing the comprehension of each other at a deeper level. You're doing so by improving your love charts.

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Couple Skills # 19 – NURTURE YOUR FONDNESS AND Respect

The foundation and respect, two of the essential elements of a satisfying and long-lasting relationship, can be fragile unless you remain mindful of how vital it is to a partnership that is at the heart of any successful marriage. Learn what keeps a couple from loving and admiring each other in