Relationships for All: A Comprehensive Perspective on Gaining and Maintaining Better Communication for Compatibility

© Copyright 2014 Lloyd E. McIlveen.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

isbn: 978-1-4907-3734-8 (sc)

isbn: 978-1-4907-3733-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014909741

Trafford rev. 04/11/2016

11604.png    www.trafford.com

North America & international

toll-free: 1 888 232 4444 (USA & Canada)

fax: 812 355 4082

Contents

Preface

Chapter 1:   The origination of relationships, how they developed and where they are now

Chapter 2:   Different kinds of relationships

Chapter 3:   The significance in relationships Do we need to understand them?

Chapter 4:   Deceptions in relationships

Chapter 5:   Knowing what one wants from relationships

Chapter 6:   Relationships that do not progress and why

Chapter 7:   Relationships. Real or fantasy?

Chapter 8:   That which keeps relationships together and why some do not survive in the long run

Chapter 9:   The future of relationships and where they are going

Chapter 10: Communicating in relationships

Chapter 11: Wonders, glories, possibilities and guidance

Summarizing guidance for better relationships

What constitutes the right—person?

Someone Close

A list of your author’s books

are attached in the back of this book

for your inspection.

Preface

How does one qualify to be an author and/or educator on the subject of relationships?

Requisites for this ambition may be college training in social and psychological sciences or working with emotional therapy research organizations. Another is being employed as a public relations officer in charge of keeping the peace among all employees of a large company.

One of the best qualifications is to have some formal training, experience many relationships and learn from all the mistakes, heartaches and glories.

Authors are, also, anyone with an ambition and gift to express something unique or needed.

Writing on relationship education has endless differentiations and different authors have an affinity to express many views. That means the field of writing on the subject of relationships is respectively open for anyone who has the desire, those mentioned experiences and a flair to share their gift with the world.

Your author of Relationships For All has had those educational experiences in psychology and draws on a lifetime of personal experiences in a wide variety of relationships, good, bad and indifferent with all the mistakes etc. and has also studied philosophy, health, religion, political science, music and several other crafts.

The cost of gaining those experiences has created a little embarrassment concerning mistakes made over that period of time. However, your author has gained humble confidence from experiencing frustrating and also rewarding relationships while observing, studying and researching other relationships to unload the results in these scripts.

The desire to read about relationships is an indication that something hasn’t been fulfilled or a curiosity of there being more options available for adding toward better relationships.

These scripts contain a perspective view of starting a new or maintaining an ongoing relationship of any kind.

Whatever reasons prevail, here is an opportunity to gain knowledge of experience from resources of successful and failing relationships.

While reading, stay focused on what you would like and where you would like to go with it. Doing this will allow a good chance for your focusing on change and be more favorable for your objectives. Be patient and allow your consciousness to observe and touch base with many interrelation concepts as possible in adding and adjusting that focus for fulfilling your desires or expectations.

What is this relationship business? Where has it been and where is it going?

The belief, in these scripts, is where the term relationship, generally, involves all living beings. That indicates a philosophy for all which states tendencies to succeed and fail are relatively the same in humans, animals and smaller life. If that can be viewed as true, then all the wonders and problems in relationships can be considered normal, status quo and nothing to be derailed about. Let us discover.

There are some differences as time has past, but they are basically the same as they have been for hundreds of thousands of years; at least they are as recorded history and research of living beings are concerned.

The only general differences are the names of the individuals, the era and the social structure which will be covered in the following chapters.

Variable concepts are submitted for what medium is used in communicating such as talking, laughing, crying, screaming, loving, hating or whatever sense to connect or disconnect with another living being.

Once a relationship has been established for short or long term duration, it passes through stages of enhancement and judgment whether it is beneficial to either party or not.

While being aware of those stages, attention is focused in a direction toward gaining perception concerning what the reader may desire in an exchange of objectives, ideas and/or feelings when relating with one or more living beings; animal, insect or human.

There are also views of people who are satisfied with little or no relationships of which can be a result of their internal make up, social background and mental programming. They are usually the nomads of self-sufficiency whether born into, influenced or developed who manage their lives in such a way the others are simply not needed as much as those who are dependent.

Yes, it does take all kinds. Let’s look into this indigenous society of relationships that seem to be more massively connected and wonderfully, but confusingly, dependent to see and understand just what can be done in some cases and what may be better left alone in others.

The following scripts contain, as mentioned, a lifetime of personal and other relationship experiences coupled with continued focus and study of living being compatibility and are applied to each chapter in an effort to characterize background, foreground and perception for one of life’s most sought after desires; fulfilling a reality or fantasy in a relationship. That desire can be an objective, emotional or physical achievement of joining two living beings or it can be an instrumental desire in forming community venture relationships.

A purpose may be served, while absorbing and utilizing relationship values from a book, in remembering it all after reading it. The content of a book read once leaves little allowance for complete retention. Because of that lack of complete retention, your author describes each situation in a manner which seems to repeat. Hopefully, this will help rather than hinder with the need to reread many times.

However, this is a textbook of study on living being relationship function and can be referred to and reread in a general sense. Each case scenario is quite typical in everyday relationships and is described for the benefit of comparing and evaluating the variations of quality in those relationships.

Emphasis is placed on similarities of human to animal and microscopic relationships. These are elaborated on to indicate all life on Earth enjoys, endures and suffers basically the same feelings in reference to interrelating with others however they may happen.

Those similarities are only similarities and not meant to be construed as the same kind.

Since most life on Earth is related in so many ways, we may discover extenuated insight in that elaboration displayed that stretches perception in understanding a little more how relationships begin, unfold, mature and/or end.

That understanding is the bases for securing desirable relationships, preventing unrewarding relationships and largely reducing anxiety before, during or after them.

Where relationships have been, where they are at present and where they may be going is what the following scripts are all about.

Chapter 1

The origination of relationships, how they developed and where they are now

Relationships, mostly pertaining to mankind at this point, are extremely complex in nature.

Progress in social coherency has become miraculous in mankind’s efforts to merge into civilized communities.

Mostly for the benefit of expanding our scope in preparation for an adventure in relationships, let us delve into these complexities prior to elaborating on them extensively by stretching our imagination.

Broad and imaginative perception is still somewhat limited to being hypothetical. Information and experience teaches what is real and valuable.

Getting a little technical and focusing in on basics for a moment, anything and everything in the universe has six dimensional sides as follows. They all have a back, two sides, a top and a bottom regardless of the disposition, shape or material makeup.

A relationship, generally, is conceived as being two entities. That results in two separate objects. Two separate objects have twelve sides. Twelve sides cannot possibly be a relationship. These are too many sides. Sure, it doesn’t make sense. That’s typical of so many relationships.

Furthermore, two humans can be glued together and have an illusion of being one. But they are still two people. There is nothing about them that realistically identifies them as one. The one relationship is nonexistent. Even those trickles of space between them do not qualify them as being one. The conclusion of this hypothetical analysis is simply all relationships suffer illusionary tendencies.

That is theory of course. However with that, it is no surprise at all to see so many folks struggling to acquire each other. That struggle can be an indication of why some relationships are difficult and complex to handle. Becoming more realistic would be helpful in saving time of life.

Fortunately for the normally accepted fact of there being two sides to every coin, one side can be viewed as adverse problems and the other side as factually normal.

This, at least, brings us back to dealing with relationships in a conventionally accepted fashion.

Keep in mind, though, believing a relationship is absolutely how one perceives it may result in a rude awakening. In many ways and fortunately, the gap between perception and what really is can be reduced through acquired knowledge and consciously being aware we can be mistaken so much of the time and not even know it.

Beside the three basic requirements to live such as eating, sleeping and visiting the bathroom, relationships have become a fourth necessity of maintaining life on Earth. In so many cases, if not the majority, they are what keep societies of the world in a state of social coherency.

So, to understand what they are, where they came from, what is presently happening in them and where they are going, one must understand the chronological position they are in for surviving to understand why they are here.

Yes, all this understanding the understanding is necessary to be comfortably successful in initiating or continuing with a mate, lover, companion, friend, associate or even a relative. After all, relationships are of many variations.

However, in this book, there is more attention directed toward complexities of romantic companion type relationships since they exist as the majority on this planet.

A relationship is of many mutuals such as a friendship, a family relative, spiritual, religious, political, scientific, business or educational affiliation. Some are intellectual and some are basically a symbiotic representation of needs which follow a path of least resistance where two living beings become attached in some manner for no calculable or obvious reason.

The term relationship is that of which is being related in some manner to another living being. It is a connection, in some way, that allows a low or high keyed intimate trust to occur between two or more living beings.

The term intimate is used here in a somewhat conservative context that represents a magnetism of one or more closely for the purpose of relating verbally, communally, emotionally or physically and does not necessarily point in the direction of sexuality or procreation. However, keep an open mind for all possibilities.

This trust occurs where, for instance, when two people meet and they discover their desires require somewhat of a continued exposure to one another for wherever it may go. At this point, there are indicators that a relationship of some kind is forming.

Wherever it goes can mean they may live a life of misery or one of endless wonders. Good or bad, it’s still a relationship.

An example of this is where a lady says, I have a relationship with this man that seems to go nowhere. I want him and I do show it in many ways, but he won’t reciprocate by sharing his feelings with me.

This relationship, generally, has appearances of a mismatch and may be considered a flop.

Good or not so good relationships are all viewed through understanding or misunderstanding in personal perception. That is, the man may think, at least until the lady gets tired of it, he has a good relationship because, without being aware of it, he is receiving more from her than she is from him. He thinks it’s great. She thinks it’s not. That’s what probably won’t work.

Chinese philosophy states everything takes a turn to the opposite eventually, so maybe we Americans jump to conclusions too hastily. If the Chinese are right, the man in question here may discover his self-centeredness and also his esteem or love for his lady and change his mannerism. That, along with her patience, could result in a meaningful relationship. They can make a turn for the better.

Now, let us delve into the ancient past a bit to tap in and add their experiences to what we have on relationships for a more comprehensive view.

Some of us may be bored with the question of what happened in relationships hundreds of thousands of years ago and maybe even say, Only now is what matters.

True, now is all we live with. Now is also a part of the past and a part of the future.

Maybe so many of us are preoccupied with our heads held high pursuing relationships for that future and while not peering back in perspective, we miss something from the mistakes of experience such as the ecstasy in pleasure and so many priceless interrelation experiences concerning relationships.

An analogy for maintaining a foreground of awareness is that of which occurs in the stock market. Most of what we know today about the market is based on almost everything that has happened throughout the history of the market. Polished investors depend on patterns of the past for success in the future.

So, it may just behoove us all to look behind while we are here as we plan and look ahead, especially with that of which most of us deal with almost everyday; a relationship of one kind or another.

Social activity in relationships, let us say, forty to one hundred thousand years ago are only estimated because of the lack of absolute historical recording on those activities.

Sure, there is scratching on the rocks and now they are interpreting DNA evidence concerning carcasses and other materials, but how do these bits and parts tell about the feelings they had toward one another? Those feelings are the most important factors in the good or not so good relationships between living beings.

Are they different now as compared to then? True, they are biologically and somewhat psychologically the same, but with all our accumulated intelligence, we’re still dabbling with the social problem of being compatible or not.

When mankind first evolved, they probably didn’t talk as we understand talking now; that is of course, if the theory of evolution is true and we came from polly wags or whatever. So, with that in mind, a reasonable assumption may be they had the sense of animals and quite possibly insects also, to either expand the species or become extinct. Also, commodities were nonexistent and weren’t important as compared to our valuation of them at present. Survival was probably an instinct of intense priority aside from food and sex in those days. Even the most successfully acquired span of life was short lived as compared to present day life span.

So, in view mankind did survive and expand, relationships became popular and have maintained that stance ever since.

Scientific studies support man evolved from a so called lower being such as a fish or monkey and religious historical recordings, such as they are discovering, suggest mankind was placed here, as they are today, by an omnipotent source at a more recent time than when mankind evolved.

Well, whenever and however it all started, there is one assumption that seems difficult to dispute. By virtue of the fact families have grown for a time longer than the majority of mankind’s historians have dealt with, indications exist where