The Abuse That Did Not Stop

CHAPTER 1

The beginning years of my life

Born May 6th 1968, and grew up on a farm in a small valley, a very beautiful place.

We lived where the trees were green, the air was fresh, the rivers were clean and a very great neighborhood.

I was one of six girls and three boys, one adopted girl. We had a whole lot of fun together growing up. We attended the best kindergarten schools and the best primary schools in our community.

There were good and bad days that made my life very exciting and interesting. Being the fifth of the team, I enjoyed spending time with my brothers since they did lots of dangerous and sporty things.

Growing up mom and dad taught us a lot of responsibilities and also they taught us to become independent even though they did not know that’s what they were doing.

It was not easy being a part of a large family but yet sometimes it was fun. The fun did not last very long but it was enough to keep us going for a while. As I share these moments with you I know you will be surprise and amaze or may be a little bit empathetic. There are some journeys in life we each never want to face but we must in order to become who we are in life.

Destiny is never given it is always chosen

These moments are shared with you because in some way it will be an encouragement to you or even someone you know who is experiencing similar situations and who believe that their situation is the worse and may be you believe that there is no way out.

As the saying in life teaches when you think your situation is bad, wait till you hear someone else story

In the midst of all the fun in our growing years, mom and dad did not share a great life all together because mom always accused daddy of having other women, she knew but we did not.

There would be times she would start swearing at daddy and we would always think that was fun because, at that age we really did not understand what was in the dark. There were times when mom and dad would fight and she would throw every thing through the window and we would be right out side to catch every thing and bring it back inside the house. I guess you would say not a happy couple. Well they were very much in love because they had nine of us. Or so I thought.

I guess mom was pretty much insecure because of the life dad lived. Yeah! He had a lot of women in his life.

At that time my dad was cheating on my mom with another woman and his family would encourage him at their house, that’s what mom said to us, however we did not know at the time for sure. Mom’s reaction was out of hurt and so that was her way of venting her feelings.

We always knew our mother to be a very hard working and a good business woman. She can take a piece of paper and create something out of it and sell it for a dollar. That’s how creative and business minded she was. She was a seamstress, gardener, farmer and a whole lot more to us and much more to many others. She was very independent in many ways. She made a kitchen garden and the produce from it she would sell it and get enough money for it. She also had good typing skills and can do a good resume.

Dad worked at one of the top companies in the country at that time as a van sales man.

In our community at that time we did not have stores or large shopping malls as we do today so there was this little grocery store at the end of the corner from where we lived, in those days we called it a shop and opposite that was a club.

That’s where my dad would hang out and many times mom would leave home and she would find him there. Most times they would come back home fighting because mom embarrassed dad in front of his friends. If there was one thing I can remember is that I never in all my years as I was growing up and I had a good memory of things, saw my father laid his hands to hit or physically abuse my mother. He always said women were made to be loved. He never fussed for anything. All the while she would be yelling at him and he would be laughing.

Mom would always start fussing and quarreling, he would either begin singing in a different language which, most times it would be Hindi songs, while we would laugh and enjoy the fun because, as I have said before, we were too young at the time to understand any thing that was going on around us.

We saw dad leave very early in the morning, Monday through Friday to work, since he worked as a van sales man at one of the most leading companies in Trinidad. Dad had lots of friends because of the job he did.

He worked east, west, north and south of the country delivering products to different grocery shops.

Mom would work on her sewing machines and would supply uniforms to schools all over the country and to the stores also. When she was free she would be working in the garden. Her first fruits from the garden she would pack them in bags and give them free to the neighbors around.

She was always a believer in God’s word and she knew if she blessed others that she would be blessed also.

She was always a very ambitious woman… but also she was very aggressive. We would always see daddy as the good guy and we would always see mom as making dads life a living hell.

Children see every thing as fun and danger. They see fun when there is no understanding and danger when there are uncertainties.

CHAPTER 2

Beginning to understand

a little bit more about life

As we grew older and a little bit wiser, we would see our dad in some compromising places sometimes and it was only then we understood that he was cheating on my mom.

As the years went by if dad left home mom would have us follow him and he would tell us to go back to the house, if he ever catches us… very confusing for a little child isn’t it?

One day I remembered we followed dad to his mothers house and when they saw us coming to the door they slammed the door in our faces and someone beyond the door shouted go and find your father at that time we did not understand that statement but later on we realized that they were basically telling us that our father was not really our father.

There were times when dad would ask for us to spend the day at his mother’s house but mom would not agree, but we would still end up there.

One day I remembered my aunt combing my hair and she was pulling and togging my hair, when I screamed out, she would hit me with the comb in my head. A lot of things like that went on for a while.

Now you may ask what about my mom’s parents? Well! We did visit there too, not that it was any better there. My grandparents had their favorites.

There were a bunch of us, yes! With my aunts and uncles and the rest of the family!

My aunt’s six kids, sometimes my other aunt’s two boys, mainly their kids would hang with us.

Our grandparents would have my two elder sisters and my aunt’s two elder girls hang together. My aunt was not a Christian and she did not understand the different principles that my mother taught us so she would have them do every thing my mom was against.

She had them drink alcohol, (just wine sometimes, nothing much to talk about) and she would have house parties while we had to stay with grand ma and grand pa. They had us as strict as a pin.

At their age, they did not want miserable kids running around, screaming or having them busy… We had to sit on a chair until it was time to sleep. No television or nothing.

There would always be conflicts between mom and her sisters because their beliefs were very different from her. They had not much morals like my mom did and their kids could have done practically a whole lot more than we did. They never had quarrels or fights in their home because every thing was always so much fun and parties. So we thought.

I remembered when ever we go to our aunts house we would get to eat all the sweets we can and we were able to play outside for as long as it takes even dark night with out having any one scream at us or saying it’s time to come inside.

Yeah they came to our house to but it won’t be for very long because after a few minutes mom would mention something from the bible, they would end up in an argument and they would get up and say it’s time to leave.

Almost her entire family believed in Masonry and Lodges so that was not something my mom would entertain around her.

There were lots of sacrifices done, but, that’s another story in it’s self.

CHAPTER 3

The Night the House Rocked

We lived in a little board house on the farm as I mentioned before and the area was infested by snakes to. My dad most times answered to the screams of my mother and he would try to kill the snakes.

I remembered we were preparing for one Christmas season when… we felt the house rocking from side to side, no it was not an earth quake!!! It was a cow stuck its horn in the board under the