Communication: the Art of Resolving Problems and Removing Blocks

Copyright © 2019 Sheryl Gallo, PsyD & Elaine Billy, BS,CHHT,OB.

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ISBN: 978-1-9822-1318-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-1320-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-1319-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018911418

Balboa Press rev. date: 02/25/2019

Contents

Introduction

1     Communication Defined

2     How the Brain Processes Communication

3     How We Interpret Communication

4     Neuroplasticity and Epigenetics

5     The Nine Passions That Hinder Communication

6     Blocks, Judgement and Respect

7     Exercises for Removing Limiting Beliefs and

Understanding Communication Expectations

8     Illness, Injury and Healing

9     Forgiveness and Balance

10   Love

11   Negative Emotions

12   Communication and Fighting Fairly

13   Conclusion

References

Introduction

Where are our memories and thoughts stored and how do we gain access to them to communicate? Over time we have realized there may be another aspect. For purposes of this book, we will give you our thoughts. Please feel free to determine your definitions. This is only a guide, not an absolute. We all have different ways to digest information. Permit what works for you to override anything anyone else has ever told you including what is spoken, written or implied. You are the master of your destiny, the healer of your issues and the wizard of your world. Allow your magnificence to shine. We are here to assist you on your journey!

Chapter 1

COMMUNICATION DEFINED

Vocabulary and Communication

What is communication and how can we improve and benefit from effective communication? Communication is the method one uses to be understood. Animals give each other signals for anger, protection, mating and interaction. These can be through gestures or sounds.

Humans have the ability to comprehend each other through various means. Body language and speaking are among them. Unlike other species, we have developed a spoken language; we have the ability to comprehend each other’s words and meanings.

Vocabulary was developed to express numbers, symbols, ideas and concepts in order to communicate our needs and thoughts. Communication is the means by which we express these to others.

Exchanging Information

We exchange information through speaking, gestures, writing and reading in all different languages. We primarily learn to communicate through parents, family, school, peers and our employment environment. Problems occur when we have difficulties understanding others and communicating our wants and needs.

Effective communication depends on the speaker and the receiver. A lot of factors positively and negatively influence communication. Examples of these include the quality of the speakers’ content, quantity of the words, tone of voice, choice of words, body language, emotions, level of friendship and how one interprets the world.

Negative factors that influence communication include twisted thinking. There are some common twisted thinking that occurs in communication. Mindreading, assuming, predicting and taking comments to heart are among them. For example, when one mind reads they assume they know what the other person is thinking and feeling. This can negatively impact the communication if it is a negative or emotionally charged comment. Assuming the outcome of another’s response may change communication creating anger and/or arguments.

The choice of words is an important component to effective communication. The appropriate selection of words can either block or improve the feedback loop. A feedback loop is when there is a responder and receiver and the message is understood with no blocks. One doesn’t always know if a particular word resonates a positive or negative emotion for another individual. Also, past life experiences, past traumas, current relationships, life stressors and other stimuli, all play a role in how words resonate emotionally. Often negative or hurtful words influence the feelings of disrespect from the receiver.

Empathy

An empathic response, not sympathy, and timing the response are two basic skills. Empathy involves the ability to fully understand why and how the other person is feeling or thinking about the event or situation. Empathy can be expressed in many ways such as verbalization of understanding, reflective listening and physical gestures. Timing is having the ability to understand the right time to verbalize and/or address the issue at hand with the other person.

Skills

There are skills and strategies to improve communication. An easy way to use some of the positive skills when communicating is to use the acronym REMEMBER:

Reflective listening

Empathy- understanding where the speaker is coming from

Memory skills when communicating

Emotions of all involved

Manage your listening skills

Be open

Engage your body language openly

Respond in a loving or empathetic manner

Another skill is to use