If it happens to your child, it happens to you!: A Parent's Help-source on Sexual Assau

If It Happens To Your Child,

It Happens To You!

Copyright © 2021 by Christine A. Golder, M.S.W.

Originally Published in 1987 by R&E Publishers, California

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher or author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Although every precaution has been taken to verify the accuracy of the information contained herein, the author and publisher assume no responsibility for any errors or omissions. No liability is assumed for damages that may result from the use of information contained within.

ISBN-Epub: 978-1-64749-450-6

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Contents

Introduction

1. Child Sexual Assault –

An Overview of the problem

2. From Assault to Disclosure

3. Report and the Legal System: What to Expect

4. Parental Dilemmas

5. What Else Can Be Done

References

Appendix A

About the Author

I dedicate this book to the memory of Roslyn Reichler

Introduction

I chose to write this book on how sexual abuse impacts on the entire family. My concept is that the parents are as victimized by this crisis as is the child, although they are affected in different ways. The entire family system is thrown into a state of crisis or disequilibrium as they try to cope with the horror that their child was a victim of a sexual crime by an adult outside the family. ¹ The perpetrator could be a neighbor, friend, baby-sitter, school personnel, or, in rarer instances, a stranger. Sexual abuse, molestation and rape is to be distinguished from incest, which involves a relative or family member. The effects of incest have even more profound pathological implications from within the family structure that must be addressed. This is a different problem which will not be a focus of this book.

In researching available literature, I found most of the information on the topic of sexual molestation of children addressed preventative issues. The preponderance of literature on treatment issues focused on incest, which historically has been a topic of more in-depth research.

Child sexual abuse outside the family has been an area that in the early 1980’s gained national visibility since the uncovering of institutional abuse at day-care centers in California and in the Bronx, New York.

Exploiting children through pornography is a form of child abuse in which children are portrayed as sexual objects. Although research has not yet been able to correlate pornographic exploitation of women and children to increased incidence of rape and sexual crime, it is a form of social casting into the role of victim or sexual object. This is another vast related area that will not be covered in this book.

There are several different aspects of the problem. I intend to review what may occur from the time of the child’s disclosure to the termination of therapy. My main focus will be on the family’s role and reactions and its significance.

My interest developed while working with parent groups of sexually abused children. One agency in which I work specifically serves the needs of victims of domestic violence, rape, sexual assault and incest. Over the course of two years, I have co-led groups of parents whose children were victims of sexual assault. The parents are able to