Body Language: Read People Like a Book and Detect Their Thoughts (volume 1)

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: The Significance of Body Language

The topic of body language, or nonverbal communication, is an interesting one. Body language has always fascinated people. We have always wanted to understand the message behind the words; we have always would like to know what people really mean by a glance, a blush or a gesture.

Now we have realized not only that we can use body language to analyze other individuals' actions, but that we can also use it to give ourselves increased effectiveness in life. Now body talk can help us be successful in life, in love and at work.

Humans have probably always understood instinctively that our non-verbal communication is just as crucial as our verbal communication. How many of us were told when young to 'stand straight as our parents realized that would make us look more intelligent, attractive or excellent. Now research has shown that if we change the way we present ourselves to the world-with good friends, at work and in love we stand a much greater chance of success.

This book clarifies how to improve your nonverbal communication, and the specifically commissioned illustrations show you what works and what does not It motivates you to examine and interpret others' body language so that you can tell beforehand how to react to them, and then adapt your own body language for optimal effect.

Chapter 2: Reading Others’ Minds

If your aim is to get the most out of life, then what you need is 'body language.' The research study of body language-the art of non-verbal communication-- is perhaps the most amazing and helpful development in individual psychology today. It adds a whole new measurement to what you can understand about people and a whole new set of possibilities regarding what you can accomplish in the world.

Humans use various channels of communication. Yet, regardless of thousands of years of human development, we have related to only the verbal channels as essential-- what we say and what we write. It's only during the last forty years or so that we've realized that there's an entire channel-- non-verbal communication that is just as essential as words, because it gives us just as much, if not more, information about what people are thinking and feeling. Some estimates suggest that up to 93 percent of the information we receive about any circumstance comes non-verbally rather than verbally. So, whenever you chat with a friend, ask your boss for a raise or set out to seduce, what you do may be up to thirteen times as information-packed as what you say.

Mind-reading

Body language not only gives you extra information about other individuals and about yourself, it also gives you different info While individuals' words tell you only what they consciously want you to know, their nonverbal communication tells you a whole variety of other things, much of which they might not know they're exposing, or perhaps understand themselves. People's basic personality, the role they're playing the feelings they feel, the direction of their ideas, their relationships with others-- not to mention what they actually think about you-body language communicates it all. And whereas individuals' words can hide a plethora of tricks, their nonverbal communication is much more tough to fake.

Similarly, naturally, your own nonverbal communication will whether you like it or not-transmit information about yourself to others. And studies have shown that what you 'say' non-verbally is typically a lot more influential than what you say verbally, not only as it bypasses the mindful mind of a listener and speaks straight to his or her subconscious, but also since people rather rightly trust non-verbal messages more than they trust words. The bad news is that your nonverbal communication is making declarations about you all the time, and some of these might be things you are attempting to hide. The good thing is that properly and truly used, body language can state what you couldn't perhaps say aloud, in a way that truly reaches other people. I am proficient ... I really need your support ...! like you. I love you.'

Body movement isn't only about communication, though. What psychologists have realized over the past decade is that if you change your nonverbal communication, you can actually change all kinds of things about your technique to life. You can, for example, alter your mood before going to a celebration, develop a much better feeling toward your partner or feel more positive at work. And, obviously, if your nonverbal communication really moves, and you interact in a different way with people around you, then they in turn will respond in a different way to you-so that the way you forecast yourself to others will be shown back to you, in a neat circular process.

Words of warning

Since nonverbal communication is such an effective tool, you need to make sure when using it. So, before you start, several words of care!

First, it's a myth that body language enables you to read a person like a book. This theory. which was an effort to 'alphabetize' non-verbal communication by specifying a single gesture as having a single meaning, was initially fashionable in the sixties. If people scratched their noses, that meant they were lying. It didn't matter whether they were scratching because their nose itched, since they were anxious or since nose-scratching was an essential ritual in their subculture-they were still seen as lying. Nowadays, we know it's just not that basic. Body movement aspects vary in meaning, and can be understood only in the setting of an individual's life circumstance.

Second, using body language effectively isn't about ignoring the words. Though we human entities are apes-and a lot of the body language sequences we use come directly from those developed by apes-- we are nonetheless talking apes. Therefore, much of this book is about using nonverbal communication along with the words, to stress them, to elaborate on them, to manage them or even to oppose them. To be a very real body language specialist, use your non-verbal skills in addition to, not instead of, your verbal ones.

Finally, do not think you can use body language to get others to do what you want. People aren't fools. If you try applying non-verbal methods so as to control somebody into liking you then naturally they will react to what you do - but they're going to also respond far more strongly to those of your actions that reveal your control. They'll sign up, often automatically, your false smile, your moving eyes, your anxious stutter-- and will act accordingly. So if you're expecting to be able to rule the world through nonverbal communication, you are going to be disappointed.

Practice makes perfect

How can you best use nonverbal communication? The initial step is to develop your powers of observation, collecting as much knowledge as possible when you engage with others. Looking is the most apparent way and probably the channel through which you're going to acquire most information. Listen, too, not so much to individuals' real words but to the way those words are said, the way voices sound as people speak. Your other three senses, touch, smell and taste, can also tell you an unexpected amount: the heat and moisture of a coworker's handshake can give you important clues regarding how positive he is about the meeting, a good friend's body odor will actually move if she ends up being afraid throughout a scary movie; a lover's taste will change as he ends up being aroused.

As you be more expert, you will be able to notice not only the more apparent macro-clues, like individuals' gestures or facial expressions. You'll also be able to identify the much more subtle and a lot more fascinating 'micro clues.' So, though initially you may spot only the macro clue of someone's mad clenched fist, in time you are going to also register the micro-clue of their skin color change when they just begin feeling inflamed. With practice, your mastery of micro-clues will let you understand - and even anticipate - just how those around you are thinking and feeling, and so be one step ahead all the time.

Pay more attention to your own body language, too: you yourself are a major source of info, Monitor your external signs, seeing how, as you respond to what's going on, your body position changes, your motions adjust your voice alters, your breathing shifts. Screen, too, the internal signals that only you are well aware of the butterflies in your stomach that tell you are delighted, the tension headache that alerts you to stress, the internal picture of your lover's face when you think of him, the internal noise of a good friend's voice when you imagine talking with her. These are vital signs of what your body is telling you.

Chapter 3: Finding Clues

To know just what to keep an eye out for, you need a body movement vocabulary. The following are the vital elements of this, the ones on which this book is based:

APPEARANCE: Look at an individual's height, their natural skin, hair and eye color, their body shape. Within the limitations of plastic surgery and the