Lessons from My Father: Reflections On What I Learned From My Father And How It Continues to Help Me Every Day

Dedication

To my children Leslie, James, and Daniel. Remember these lessons from your Opa and they will help you have an amazing life. I love you, and I am proud of you.

Table of Contents

Dedication

Table of Contents

Introduction

Lesson #1 - Be Thankful for Everything You Have Been Given

Lesson #2 - In the End, Our Time is So Short Don’t Waste Your Time Judging Others. It’s Not Worth Wasting Your Wit on Anger. Just Focus on What You Can Do, Yourself

Lesson #3 - Love Everyone for Who They Are Now,

Not Who They Can Be, and Not What They Should Be. This Includes Your Spouse, Your Children, Your Friends, and Total Strangers

Lesson #4  - We Are All Individuals, Each One of Us. We are God’s Unique Creation. You Can Never Be What Others Are, Be the Best You

Lesson #5 - Try to Understand What Other People Think, and Why They Think that Way. Even if You Are Convinced They Are Wrong, and They Very Well May Be

Lesson #6 - Listening is Loving, Be a Good Listener, and Hug People Too

Lesson #7 - Serve Others and You Will Find Happiness. If You Don’t Know Where to Start, Start by Listening to Them

Lesson #8 - It’s Okay to Change Your Opinions, Don’t be too Proud of Them. Change Them All the Time

Lesson #9 - You Can Learn to Enjoy Jazz. You Can Learn How to Do Anything

Lesson #10 - About Church; Don’t Go to Church to Get Something, Go to Church to Serve Other People

Lesson #11 - About Evil – Evil is a Real Thing, and There Are People Who Serve It. Most of Them Are Foolishly Unaware of the Evil They Do. Be Careful of Them, but Love Them Too, and Pray for Them. Remember that Even the Best People, with the Best Intentions Can Hurt You

Lesson #12 - It’s Hard to Take Your Own Advice. I Make Dumb Mistakes All the Time. So Do Others. It’s Okay

Lesson #13 - Don’t Wait to Go to the Doctor

Lesson #14 - Life Is a Gift. Walk More, Chop Wood, Don’t Give Up. Fight for the Life You Have Been Given

Lesson # 15 - I Don’t Need Anything. I Have Everything I Need. I Am So Thankful

The Final Lesson - It’s Our Turn

About the Author - Danny Kolke

A Very Special Thank You To

More Thoughts, More Music

Introduction

We all live. But do we?

I wrote the following statement to be read at my father’s memorial service March 19th, 2022. Today these words are the introduction to this book and an invitation for you to read, explore, and reflect.

I am the youngest of three sons. I am named after my father. My father was the most educated man I know, and I dropped out of high school. For years, I was afraid that he was disappointed in me for not following in his footsteps and not even finishing a degree. But my dad was proud of me, and he told me as much, over and over again. And he specifically shared what he was proud of.

Dad was proud of my family, my music, my work. He was proud of his grandchildren, all of them, and what they were doing. He was proud of my construction projects. He was proud of my writing, my blog posts. He was proud of my ideas. He was proud of Boxley’s, my jazz club. He told me that he felt welcome there, and accepted for who he was by his nonjudgmental jazz friends. If you came to Boxley’s, you probably got a hug from my dad. He hugged everyone. Honestly, it embarrassed me when he did it. But he did it anyway. He was proud of my friends; they were his friends too, automatically. He was so interested in what they were doing.

My Dad is my biggest hero, and he was my biggest fan. He taught me so much, both in words and deeds, all the way up until his last few days. I thought I would share with you a few of those lessons.

1- Be thankful for everything you have been given. And say thank you all the time.

2- In the end, our time is so short. Don’t waste your time judging others. It’s not worth wasting your wit on anger. Just focus on what you can do, yourself

3- Love everyone for who they are now, not who they can be, and not what they should be. This includes your spouse, your children, your friends, and total strangers.

4- We are all individuals, each one of us. We are God’s unique creation. You can never be what others are, be the best you.

5- Try to understand what other people think and why they think that way. Even if you are convinced they are wrong, and they very well may be.

6- Listening is Loving; be a good listener. And hug people too.

7- Serve others, and you will find happiness. If you don’t know where to start, start by listening to them.

8- It’s okay to change your opinions; don’t be too proud of them. Change them all the time.

9- You can learn to enjoy Jazz. You can learn how to do anything.

10- About Church – Don’t go to church to get something; go to church to serve other people.

11- About Evil – Evil is a real thing, and there are people who serve it. Most of them are foolishly unaware of the evil they do. Be careful of them, but love them too, and pray for them. Remember that even the best people, with the best intentions, can hurt you.

12- It’s hard to take your own advice. I make dumb mistakes all the time. So do others. It’s okay.

13- Don’t wait to go to the doctor.

14- Life is a gift. Walk more, Chop wood, Don’t give up. Fight for the life you have been given.

15- I don’t need anything. I have everything I need. I am so thankful.

There is more to my statement, but I will save it for