How to Cultivate Empathy and Active Listening Skills

As a recruiter, I am a firm believer in the extraordinary power of listening, considering it one of our most crucial abilities. In the rush of our busy lives, it's easy to underestimate the impact of truly hearing someone. But make no mistake, it can be a game-changer - both professionally and personally. » Listening Builds Trust: When we actively listen to our candidates and clients, we're not just hearing words; we're absorbing their stories, aspirations, and concerns. This builds a foundation of trust that is vital in our line of work. Trust opens doors, fosters collaboration, and paves the way for genuine relationships. » Meeting Needs: Every candidate and client has unique needs. By listening attentively, we gain the insight needed to tailor our services to precisely those needs. It's like having a map to navigate the often complex terrain of recruitment. » Valuing Perspectives: Listening also allows us to appreciate different perspectives. It reminds us that diversity isn't just about backgrounds and experiences; it's about the richness of ideas that emerge when we truly engage with others. » Resolving Issues: In the face of challenges or conflicts, listening can be the first step to resolution. It shows empathy and a willingness to understand, which can be the turning point in solving even the most intricate problems. So, how can we cultivate this superpower? ☆ Be Present: Put away distractions and give your full attention. Show that you value what the other person is saying. ☆ Empathize: Try to understand not just the words but the emotions behind them. This empathy is the bedrock of trust. ☆ Ask Questions: Encourage open dialogue. Sometimes, the most profound insights emerge from the questions we ask. ☆ Practice Patience: Listening takes time, but it's an investment that pays dividends in the form of strong, lasting relationships. ☆ Feedback Loop: Remember, listening isn't just about hearing; it's about responding. Show that you've listened by taking actions that reflect what you've heard. In the realm of recruitment, much like in life itself, I believe the art of listening serves as our covert advantage. It enables us to forge profound connections, deliver authentic value, and, ultimately, leave a positive imprint. #BuildingTrust #LoveWhatYouDo #YouMatter #EffectiveCommunication Next Level Career Partners, LLC

“I understand and feel your pain” The worst words that a manager can utter to an employee who is sharing something personal or a difficulty they are struggling with. Why? It does not engender trust. If someone is sharing something personal with you, they need you to honestly and completely listen. Unless you have experienced the exact same thing they are going through, it is unlikely that you can literally feel their pain. It is at this moment, that more than half of managers will lose their employees trust. Empathy is about staying present and actively listening to another person. Connecting to the emotion behind the situation. Gaining an understanding of their emotional state – is what they are sharing with you making them feel sad, anxious, scared, angry, etc. Connecting to their underlying emotional state and identifying what would be most helpful to them in that moment, is authentic empathy and when you are no longer “trying to be empathic” but “are empathic”. It takes practice. It is not good for you if you overidentify with someone’s emotional state to the point where their anxiety actuals makes you anxious or their anger makes you angry. That is not good for either of you. But being able to support them in their anxiety without taking it on yourself and without shielding yourself from it, is the balance of when you are actually empathic. Early in my career, I struggled to find that line. I got sucked into other people’s emotional state which caused me to react inappropriately. It took many years for me to know that I also needed to be in the right state of mind myself. I had to learn how to be connected and yet distinct from the person speaking to me. I think this skill is what great psychologists learn how to do and great managers as well. What do you think? How do you best connect with and find empathy with others? #leadership #empathy https://lnkd.in/gTJPA6hD

As professionals, we often find ourselves navigating between facts and feelings in the workplace. While facts provide a solid foundation for decision-making, it's essential to acknowledge that everyone has emotions that influence their experiences. Creating a space for feelings to be heard and validated is crucial for fostering a healthy work environment. As a leader, it's our responsibility to compassionately address both facts and feelings. Balancing the two allows for a more comprehensive understanding of the challenges and opportunities we face. As a Chief People Officer, I understand the power of emotions and the impact they can have on individuals and teams. By making room for open discussions and actively listening to the feelings of others, we can foster a culture of empathy, understanding, and collaboration. Let's remember that acknowledging and addressing feelings doesn't diminish the importance of facts. Instead, it enhances our ability to make informed decisions and cultivate a supportive workplace where everyone can thrive. As professionals, understanding that a person's feelings aren't facts can be a tricky task. Here are three tips for navigating this challenge: 1️⃣ Practice Active Listening: When someone shares their feelings, give them your full attention. Listen without judgment or interruption, allowing them to express themselves fully. Remember, their emotions are valid, even if they may not align with the facts of a situation. 2️⃣ Validate Emotions: Acknowledge and validate the emotions of others. Let them know that their feelings are important and that you understand their perspective. Validation doesn't mean agreeing with their emotions, but rather showing empathy and respect for their experiences. 3️⃣ Separate Facts from Feelings: Encourage individuals to identify and differentiate between facts and feelings. By helping them understand the distinction, you can guide them towards a more objective analysis of a situation. This empowers them to make informed decisions based on both facts and emotions. Remember, as a balanced leader, it's essential to create a safe space where feelings can be expressed and valued. By incorporating these tips into your leadership approach, you can foster a workplace culture that embraces both facts and emotions. #WorkplaceCulture #EmotionalIntelligence #Leadership #Empathy #ActiveListening

I bet most of you haven't heard of this… What? “𝘓𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴.” I've been an executive coach and a marriage counselor for over 30 years. I've engaged with thousands of leaders and couples. And if I have to pinpoint one thing that most of them fail at, it'll be, 𝘓𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴. Not just hearing.  Not just listening. It doesn't matter how often your employees give you their feedback or how frequently your partner may say something. They can talk all they want, but if you fail to listen and comprehend—nothing is ever going to change. In fact, things will just go downhill. 𝘚𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴? Well, it requires intentionality, patience, an open mind, and a desire to truly understand. Here’s the roadmap laid out for you: 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐀𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 📌Focus completely on the speaker. Put away distractions like phones or other devices. 📌Maintain eye contact to show you're engaged and attentive. 📌Show genuine non-verbal cues like nodding or using facial expressions to indicate your interest. 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤. 📌Avoid interrupting or finishing the speaker's sentences. Let them express themselves fully. 📌Be patient, especially if the speaker is hesitant or takes time to articulate their thoughts. 📌Do not be thinking about your response, but remain in the moment. 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬. 📌Pay attention to the speaker's tone of voice, pitch, volume, and body language. Emotions often manifest in these aspects. 📌Look for signs of frustration, excitement, sadness, or other emotional cues. 𝐀𝐬𝐤 𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧-𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬. 📌Encourage the speaker to share more by asking questions that can't be answered with a simple "yes" or "no." 📌Examples include "𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭?" or "𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵?" 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭. 📌Show empathy by acknowledging the speaker's feelings and experiences. You can say, "𝘐 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶." or “𝘐 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦.” 📌Reflect back on what you've heard to confirm your understanding. For example, "𝘚𝘰, 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨..." 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫: Listen to understand–not just reply. #leadershipcoach #executivecoach #leadershipdevelopment

Active listening is one of the most critical skills a leader can possess. It's not just about hearing words; it's about truly understanding and engaging with what is being said. As Stephen R. Covey once said, "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." Active listening requires effort and intention. It involves paying attention not only to the words but also to the nonverbal cues and tone of the speaker. In fact, John Stoker reminds us that 93% of communication occurs through nonverbal behavior and tone. This means that what is said is often less important than how it is said. Personally, this has been one of the most challenging skills for me to master. As someone who is constantly focused on action and execution, I find it difficult to pause and simply listen. I had to learn that sometimes, the most effective way to lead is not by doing, but by understanding. So, what exactly is active listening? It's the process of fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and then remembering what is being said. It involves maintaining eye contact, nodding, using affirmative gestures, and providing feedback that shows you are engaged. Below are some of the things I am doing to Improve my active listening skills: 1. Be Present: Focus entirely on the speaker. Put away distractions and give my undivided attention. 2. Reflect and Clarify: Summarize what I have heard and ask questions to ensure understanding. 3. Empathize: Try to see things from the other persons perspective and validate their feelings. I hope that by improving my active listening skills, I not only become a better leader but also build stronger, more meaningful relationships. Remember, great leaders don't just speak well—they listen exceptionally well.

What if one small change to your way of thinking could change how much empathy you naturally show to those around you? It's all in the stories our brains tell about others. The ability to create a narrative based on almost no data is an incredible capability our brains have. The problem is that we get used to listening to it. When my son was struggling to get ready for school for the third day in a row, I wanted to scream at him. The story I told myself is that he should be better at this. He is doing this on purpose. When something I did in jest to lighten the mood caused him to break down into tears, I realized that I had the story all wrong. He wasn't causing the situation. It was happening to him. He was struggling in ways that I was missing because I was busy telling myself a different story. Instantly I felt the shift from frustration and anger to empathy and concern. If I had started from the story that he was doing his best and needed support, I could have skipped the misery in the middle. I have the power to make that story the one I listen to. To ignore the first drafts that my brain comes up with on its own. We all do. It takes training and self-awareness, but learning to focus on the most charitable story we can come up with will instantly increase our empathy. Assume positive intent until it is proven wrong beyond a shadow of a doubt. Forgiveness, empathy, and compassion will be readily available when you do. https://lnkd.in/e_WFABaz

The #1 communication skill isn’t talking. It’s empathic listening. Don’t just listen to understand. Listen until the other person feels understood. Early in my time at Microsoft, I was lucky enough to attend a session with Stephen Covey. His presence was unforgettable. But one idea changed everything for me: “Empathic listening is not listening until 𝘺𝘰𝘶 understand. It’s listening until the 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘥.” That one sentence rewired how I lead, coach, and connect. It’s not about proving you “got it.” It’s about making sure 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 feel heard. Such a simple shift.  Yet a total game changer: 1. It builds trust. 2. It transforms tension into connection. 3. It’s a leadership superpower. Try this today: When someone speaks, don’t jump to respond. Reflect back what they feel and say. Let them know you’re 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. That’s when the real conversation begins.

Many may not be listening to what you are really saying? 20 years ago, I was completing modules for my initial coach training. Our assignment was to coach a surrogate student for one hour. Module was Practice Active Listening One hour ONLY asking various types of powerful questions. At first, this was very awkward listening then only asking questions. I distinctly remember that moment shifting from my head to the heart. Discoveries from my first Coachee: * Being in the Moment * The Power in the Pause * Trusting Them Without an Agenda * Being Present With Their Experience The Coachee said, wow, that was an extraordinary experience! What value would you place on a greater connection with your clients, colleagues and family? In the Coaching Context, What Active Listening is Not: - About You - Interrogation - Agenda Driven - Coach Making Statements Desire to be heard? Practice the Art and Skill of Active Listening. Active Listening: * Fosters Empathy * Grows Connection * Expands Capacity * Opens Powerful Discovery * Uncovers the Root of the Situation * Being Fully Present Builds Trust * Creates a Space for Transformation Tips for Effective Active Listening: 1. Discovery to Action 2. Questions from honor 3. Ask Curiosity Questions 4. Avoid Making Statements 5. Call to Actions with Clarity 6. Create Judgement Free Space 7. Listen to Understand not to Agree/Disagree Active listening is a transformative skill that can be learned. Empowering actions can take place through active listening. Active listening will fuel innovation. >> How do you feel when someone is actively listening to you? << + My Purpose is Your Growth! DM me or schedule a 20 minute free coaching consultation to explore your coaching possibilities. > I have had the honor of coaching leaders for 20 years. > I have had over 25 years of being in business. Or visit: www[dot]TRUFORTH[dot]co

Empathic listening is my barometer for how I am doing  Some people are naturally good listeners. My wife, for example. She seems to listen intently to whomever she is speaking with. I think I am naturally more of a talker. I have a lot to say and I look forward to throwing in my two cents. Training was a perfect fit. Coaching requires something from me that is not as natural: deep, empathic listening. Listening can be done at three different levels: Level 1: Selective listening. How does this affect me? Is it even relevant to me? If yes, I will tune in. If not, I can continue to be focused on my inner talk track. Level 2: Active listening. I am listening to you, and I really want to understand the content of what you are saying. So I am an active participant. I ask clarifying questions and summarize or paraphrase to make sure I really get what you are saying. Level 3: Empathic listening. This includes Level 2 but goes further. I am listening for content and for meaning. I key in on things like tone, facial expressions, eye movements, pauses and especially emotions. What are they feeling? Why are they feeling that? What has not been said that is wanting to be expressed? As a coach, if I am listening at Level 3, great things always happen. I ask just the right question at the right time. Or I share an insight or observation that is spot on. It is not because I am smart. It is simply because I am listening to my client in a deep way. They are getting all my attention because I want to understand them as fully as possible. Guess what? This same principle applies in my personal life. When I am selectively listening to my friends or loved ones, they sense it and there is a distance between us. When I choose to listen to them with all of me, something changes, and we really connect. They sense it and appreciate it. Empathic listening is my barometer for how I am doing in business and life. When I am failing to do it, it usually means that I am stressed or tired or insecure and I need to take action to build up my reserves in these areas. And I know how to recharge myself in these areas. But the goal is to be as fully present as possible for each person I interact with. 

A personal share... My mother had Covid in 2020, and since that time, has been experiencing cognitive decline, along with a host of other medical, financial and wellness challenges. The past 3 and half weeks have been incredibly stressful, with many tears. And, I am an only child. What it reminds me of, and what I want to share, is the importance of empathy, both in personal and professional settings. Navigating these complexities has reinforced my belief in the power of creating space for understanding, listening, and offering support in all aspects of life. A special thank you to the heroes and sheroes in my life over the last few weeks that have truly lifted me... In the spirit of this, I want to share three tips to help foster empathy in the workplace, even during remote calls: 🙊 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: Take the time to truly listen to your colleagues, not just to their words - to the 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘶𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 behind them. On remote calls, this means being present, minimizing distractions, and practicing empathy through attentive listening. 👀 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐮𝐞𝐬: Pay attention to non-verbal cues such as tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions. These subtle signals can often reveal 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯'𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦. Being attuned to these cues demonstrates empathy and allows for a deeper understanding of your colleagues' experiences. ✅ 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤-𝐈𝐧𝐬: Make a conscious effort to check in with each other on a regular basis, even 𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨. In a remote work environment, it's easy for individuals to feel isolated or disconnected. By reaching out proactively, you show that you care about their well-being and create opportunities for open communication. By incorporating these practices into our daily interactions, we can create a workplace culture that values empathy, understanding, and support for the diverse experiences of our colleagues. Remember, behind every screen and every meeting agenda, there are people with their own stories and struggles. My ask today? Let's make space for empathy in all that we do. I am sharing in the comments my favorite video describing the difference between sympathy and empathy - it's perfect. Brené Brown #empathy #culture #remotework #connection 🤝 Bruce Montgomery Anca Castillo Cary Lopez, PhD