The Lupa Liturgy

By Lupa






































Shamelessly Self-Published For the Hell of It, 2007




The Lupa Liturgy
By Lupa
2007

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof,
in any form. General permission is given by the author to reproduce this document
in its entirety electronically, with credit given to her. Printouts for noncommercial
use may be created via standard home inkjet or laserjet printers. Professionally
bound printouts are prohibited except by express written consent of the author.
Excerpts may be used, properly cited, for review or research, as long as they are
within the guidelines of Fair Use as per U.S. copyright law.


The right of Lupa to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by
her in accordance with the Copyright, Design and Patents Act, 1988.


http://www.thegreenwolf.com


Typesetting: Lupa
Set in Garamond


Self published via Lulu.com, first edition, 2007.

Acknowledgements

To those crazy people who decided to perk up when I mentioned writing about my
spirituality (you know who you are!)thanks for inspiring this little side project. To
my lovely mate, Taylor, for infecting me with the writing bug, and to all the writers
Ive helped to incitethanks for being partners in creativity with me. And to all my
FFG, thank you for helping me get to where I am today. I couldnt have done it
alone.


About the Author


Lupa was born in the late 1970s and currently resides in the Pacific Northwest with
her husband and fellow author, Taylor Ellwood. She is an artist who creates
magical jewelry, ritual tools and sacred items out of fur, bone, leather, feathers,
beads and other such things. She is also a published author (you cant miss the
listing of books right below this bio) and has had articles featured in newWitch,
PanGaia, Sagewoman, Circle, If Journal, Witchvox, The Wiccan/Pagan Times,
Key23, Rending the Veil, and many other hardcopy magazines and ezines
(Googlemancy will help you find more information on any of these fine
publications). She, Taylor, and their respective creative pursuits may be found
online at http://www.thegreenwolf.com.


Other Books By Lupa Available from Immanion
Press/Megalithica Books (http://www.immanion-
press.com)

Fang and Fur, Blood and Bone: A Primal Guide to Animal Magic (2006)

Magick on the Edge: An Anthology of Experimental Magick (2007) contributed
Totems and Transformation and cowrote Evoking Lupa with Taylor Ellwood

A Field Guide to Otherkin (2007)

Kink Magic: Sex Magic Beyond Vanilla (November 2007, with Taylor Ellwood)





Table of Contents




Introduction 7

Chapter 1: Natural History 9
Chapter 2: Hail, Hail, the Gangs All Here 15
Chapter 3: Tools of My Trade 21
Chapter 4: Rituals and Other Workings 25
Chapter 5: So Whats That Whole Therianthropy Thing About? 31

Afterword 35
Bibliography and Other Influential Books 37






The Lupa Liturgy
Introduction




This is a little bit of an experiment. This book isnt meant to be particularly formal;
hence my decision to self-publish. My other books are all professionally published
through Immanion Press
1
, for whom I am an author, associate editor, and
nonfiction promo/publicity manager.
While I love working with Immanion, the focus there is primarily on
experimental magical texts. This book deals more with my spirituality, though there
is some magic mixed in with the rest. I was inspired to write this after discussing
some of my personal religion on my blog
2
. I made a post a few days later asking if
people would be interested in reading more about the spiritual aspects of my life
and got a pretty decent response!
The average self-published book sells only a couple of hundred copies at the
most. I figure this one will be the same, though the free ebook may get a decent bit
of circulation. I dont expect to make money on thisbut thats not the point. I
wanted to offer interested folks a chance to read the nitty-gritty on my personal
belief system. The printed version, offered at cost, is just an option for those of us
who find ebooks intolerably difficult to read because of the format (or who simply
prefer the aesthetic appeal of dead tree books). Think of it as a very long blog post,
with some added editing and formatting to clean it up. Im doing it for the fun, the
curiosity of others, and a chance to practice my layout skills.
So welcome to my path; walk with me a while. This isnt holy writ or an
uber-serious religious text. Its incredibly important to me on a personal level, but
youre free to take it as you will.


1
See http://www.immanion-press.com for more details.
2
http://lupabitch.livejournal.com
Lupa



8
The Lupa Liturgy
Chapter One: Natural History




Oh, goody! Heres where I get to talk about myself.
Actually, wait. Thats part of the point of this whole book, isnt it?
At any rate, let me give you some background as to where Im coming from;
itll provide some context for the rest of the material.
I was raised Catholic and did most of my growing up in semi-rural Missouri.
From a very young age I was fascinated by the natural world. I remember being a
toddler, hiding under the huge juniper tree in front of our house, and playing with
roly-polies and toads (about the only animals slow enough for me to catch!). As I
got older, I graduated to catching (and releasing) garter snakes, box turtles, and
various insects in the woods near my home. I even enjoyed fishing for a number of
years, until I figured out that having a hook stuck in your mouth probably isnt
much fun, and that I really didnt want to do such a thing unless I was specifically
out to get food.
What I remember the most, though, was being absolutely fascinated by
nature, animals in particular. The first time I saw a monarch butterfly chrysalis for
real, instead of in a book, it was a small miracle for me. I guarded that area of the
woods like my life depended on it, and was rewarded by getting to see the brand
new butterfly hanging off the branch, letting hir wings dry and fill with blood so
s/he could start hir newest stage of life.
This was my introduction to the cycles of nature which I hold sacred. My
fascination continued into my seventeenth year, when I was introduced to magic
and paganism through several friends of mine. I spent the first two years reading
and studying everything I could get my hands onI was interested in everything! I
wanted to learn about runes, and herbs, and totems, and Wicca, and Druidry, and
stones, and faeries, and all kinds of stuff. Unfortunately, I didnt have access to
many books, and the internet wasnt nearly as full of information as it is now
(though it did have some good resources nonetheless).
My two earliest influences were solitary Wicca/neo-Wicca/You cant call
that Wicca because you werent initiated! and neoshamanism/plastic
shamanism/white people pretending to be Indians. While I figured out the
background to my sources over the years, I did get some good material for my
personal practice out of them. Probably the two most influential authors for me
were Scott Cunningham and Ted Andrews, though miscellaneous other books in
the aforementioned genres made early appearances. While I realize that, for
example, I started calling the deities of the land and sky Earth Mother and Sky
Father because of plastic shamanism books I read, I have found that these names
for those deities are the ones that resonate with me. So I continue to use what
works for me, while acknowledging my source material.
Lupa



10
February 8 is a personal holiday for me, because on that night in 1998,
Artemis came and taught me to dance. I had just gotten home from seeing my
boyfriend, someone with whom I had a deteriorating relationship. It was just a
couple of days before the peak of the full moon, and the silver light shone into my
room. I had never danced before, being too shy and self-conscious. But at that
moment, illuminated by the face of the goddess above me, something moved me,
and I began to slowly sway, then danced faster and faster around the room. I let the
energy of the Huntress flow into me, and we danced together for what seemed like
hours. Finally, exhausted, I went to sleep. But from that night on, I considered
myself a pagan.
In the years since, Ive been in all sorts of interesting magical places. My
primary focus has always been animal magictotemism, familiars, shapeshifting,
etc. I also enjoy making magical pouches, and Ill give a couple of samples later on
in the book just for fun. I also read runes (handmade, elder futhark) early on, then
switched over to tarot (Shapeshifter Tarot, and later on the Thoth deck) and totem
cards (Animal-Wise deck, still use it to this day).
Ive always been primarily solitary. I had a brief time spent with an open
circle at one point, and a year and a day with a teacher that never really worked out.
But for the most part Ive been on my own in my path, and that suits me just fine.
What Ive developed is individualized enough that I would have trouble finding a
group I meshed with anyway. I did, however, do a partial novitiate with the
Illuminates of Thanateros, a Chaos magic organization, a few years back. That was
right about the time my life explodedbut Ill get to that in a moment.
Speaking of Chaos magic, I was mostly generically neopagan in my outlook
until 2003 when my friend, Nicholas Graham
3
, introduced me to Chaos magic via
Peter J. Carrolls Liber Null and Psychonaut. Id actually read the book in 2002 but it
hadnt really sunk in. Nick and I worked together during the third shift at a
microbiology lab for about a year and a half, and we spent a lot of time talking
shop. He explained the concepts Id missed, and I soon found myself fascinated by
this incredibly practical, versatile approach to magic. It left an indelible mark on
me, and has made my magical practice much more prominent and exploratory.
The summer of 2004 was a big one for me. I had really started to hit my
stride with Chaos magic, and was practicing more magic than I had ever done. My
personal life was pretty crazy at the time. I moved three times in eight months that
year, had two major relationship breakups, and had a number of other big changes
come through during that time. That summer saw more experiments out of me
than any other time in my life. I participated in my first Goetic evocation, worked
with Papa Legba a la Hyatt and Blacks Urban Voodoo
4
, and experimented with my

3
Author of The Four Powers: Magical Practice for Beginners of All Ages (Immanion
Press/Megalithica Books, 2007). Hes also one of the folks heavily involved with Rending the Veil
(http://www.rendingtheveil.com) and is one of my very best friends. I owe him a lot for that.
4
New Falcon, 1993.
The Lupa Liturgy


11
personality by splitting myself into four personae (but not separate personalities)
using some of the material from Robert Anton Wilsons Prometheus Rising
5
.
But I lived to see the end of 2004, and continued to grow. The last big
influence on my path was back in 2005. I had just read the first issue of Konton
Magazine, a chaos magic periodical edited by D.J. Lawrence of
http://www.chaosmagic.com
6
. I decided to post a review of it on a chaos magic
community I was on at Livejournal. One of the points I made was that I had really
enjoyed all the articles except one, but didnt specify which it was. One of the
people who had written for that issue replied and asked (politely) if it had been his
article that was at fault. The answer was no, and that was how I met my fellow
author, Taylor Ellwood
7
.
To make a long story short, I first fell in love with his writing, and then I fell
in love with him. We shared a lot in common as far as our philosophies on magic
went. Both of us were interested in experimenting with magic, and both of us were
open to new ideas and angles. We got along in pretty much every other way, too,
and the rest was history. We were married on July 8, 2006 and handfasted a week
latera year and a day after we first met in person at Sirius Rising at Brushwood in
New York
8
. He is my magical mate and my companion, my editor and advisor, and
offers me both moral and immoral support. Weve influenced each other quite a bit
even though we maintain our own separate paths, and we couldnt be happier.
So thats the nickel tour of my life. Theres a lot more that I cant fit in here,
but I have better things to do than write out an autobiography based on 28 years.
Still, I hope this has given you at least some insight as to where Im coming from.
Of course, you can always ask me if theres something specific you want to know.
No guarantees on answers, of course, but email is free!

Reality According to Lupa

I am an animist and a panentheist. The former simply means I believe that all
things have spirits. The latter signifies that I believe that the Divine is embodied
within all things. The combination that makes up my understanding of reality can
basically be summed up as: the Divine is the spark of spirit that is within all
thingsand not just living ones. I extend spirit to everythinganimals, plants,
rocks, technological devices, etc. I believe that consciousness comes in more forms
than just the ones were familiar with, and that its partly our fault for not paying
enough attention. This is also why consciousness-based arguments for

5
New Falcon, 1992.
6
Chaosmagic.com is currently out of commission; however, at this time back issues of Konton
magazine are still available via Caf Press at http://www.cafepress.com/chaosmagick.
7
Author of Pop Culture Magick, Space/Time Magic and Inner Alchemy (all Immanion
Press/Megalithica Books, 2004, 2005 and 2007 respectively). Hes also the editor of the Magick on
the Edge anthology (Immanion/Megalithica 2007), and our cowritten essay in it goes into more
depth about the magic that went into our meeting.
8
See http://www.brushwood.com. To this day this is still one of our favorite pagan festivals. Highly
recommended.
Lupa



12
vegetarianism and veganism dont work on me. I see the uprooting and
decapitation of a carrot in much the same way as the slaughter of a chicken. My
question isnt Am I eating meat?, but rather How did my food live and die?
Organic produce and free range meat are what I consider humane eating, and I
eventually intend to raise my own meat and produce when time, space and
resources allow.
I see reality as a multilayered thing. While I think that linear time is
something that we all agree upon while in this particular slice of the Universe, I
think that space and time go far beyond the linear when you consider reality as a
whole. I observe both my personal microcosm and my place in the macrocosm as a
whole. There are many parallels between these two spheres of perception; they are
more interrelated than many people think. As Above, So Below equals As Within,
So Without. Magic is the art of manifesting Desire into Reality, and changes that we
cause outside of ourselves must begin inside us.
Oh, yes. Magic. Magic is a wonderful thing. Its realizing that reality is
incredibly subjective, and that my personal reality can be shaped by my desires and
actionseven seemingly acausal ones. Saying a prayer over a candle, visualizing
energy flowing into it, and then burning it may not seem to have anything to do
with the outcome of a job interview, but the connection is there nonetheless. I
combine the energetic and psychological models of magic; while internally I believe
that psychology is what flips the triggers of magic that works, I also believe that
energy is the external equivalent. Whether that energy can ultimately be measured
or not doesnt matter to me; what matters is that it works, and that I can trace my
techniques to refine them and get better results. As Taylor has often told me, you
have to know how you got a particular result to either modify it or pass it on to
someone else.
This probably isnt surprising to those who know me, but I dont believe in
black or white magic, though I do sometimes use the Chaos magic color
categories. I dont believe in the bastardized version of Karma found in New
Agery, or the Threefold Law, or any other across-the-board moral code. I do
believe that actions have consequences (even basic physics knows that) but that
theyre not as predictable as wed like to think (quantum physics, anyone?). To wit,
if youre an asshole to everyone you meet, it stands to reason that the only people
who may be your friends may be other assholes. On the other hand, what
constitutes an asshole is relative. I know people who I consider to be assholes who
have friends who think theyre pretty decent folks; they may even think Im an
asshole. Basically, I try to be nice to people, and I do my best to see things from
the other guys perspective when I can. Im not perfect, and I doubt Ill achieve that
any time soon. But I do my best, which is about all anyone can really shoot for.
I dont consider myself a member of any particular tradition or culture; I am
a modern American neopagan of European mutt descent, raised in a middle class
household, and that is the perspective that informs my path. I really have no
particular interest in any of the cultures my ancestors came from (a wide variety of
cultures across Europe, from England to Czechoslovakia). If anything, I resonate
The Lupa Liturgy


13
with the various subcultures Im a part ofthe pagan community, Otherkin, the
BDSM/fetish scene, etc. My interest lies in various techniques, not particular
cultures; rather than wanting to study, say, Lakhota spirituality, Im interested in
how people around the world, including modern pagans, work with totems and
other animal spirits.
Im also quite fond of Unverified Personal Gnosis (UPG). Im aware of the
differences between UPG and actual historical research, as well as the potential
pitfalls of not checking ones UPG against the common conception of reality.
However, a lot of my path is UPG based, both spiritually and magically.
I dont really have any problems with any other religion. I figure were all
headed in the same general direction, and its up to the individual to find hir own
path. I know there are a number of pagans who are rabidly anti-Christian. I dont
get that. Christianity is just a religion, a path. It can be abused by those who have
agendas, or it can be used to ascend in ones personal evolution. The same is true
of any religion. Theres no such thing as an evil religion, as far as Im concerned.
Thats my understanding of what is commonly referred to as reality. Its just
as subjective as anyone elses, and I make no claims about its truth, efficacy, or
ability to remove stains from your soul (or sole, if you have a habit of rehabilitating
secondhand fish).

So now, in theory, you know more about me than you ever cared to know,
and youre ready for a change of pace. Well, good newsso am I! Lets talk about
someone else for a changethe FFG.

Lupa



14
The Lupa Liturgy
Chapter Two: Hail, Hail the Gangs All Here




My Friends, Family and Guardians (FFG) is a term that I used to collectively
refer to all the spiritual beings who are a part of my life to one extent or another.
Who are the noncorporeal players in this drama? Many of them are animal totems,
though there are deities, ancestral spirits, and others. I cant list everyone whos
helped me become who I am today, but these are some of the most involved.

A Sampling of Deities

Artemis: This is the Lady Huntress I refer to in the prayers and rituals later in
this book. As I explained earlier, Artemis was the one who first helped me to a
decidedly pagan path. I honor her as the maiden huntress of Greek mythos, rather
than the Ephesian mother goddess, though I acknowledge that aspect as well. I
honor her more through emulation than worship. Im not sure Id go so far as to
label myself an avatar; that term always struck me as a little more self-important
than Im really comfortable with. However, I do feel that I resemble her in a
number of ways, and that internal connection is the way in which I give her her
due. She seems content with the arrangement, and I think she understands that Im
really not the regular worship kind of person.
Artemis is independence personified, which has really rubbed off on my
personal set of values. As Ive grown, our relationship and what we both bring to
the table has evolved. I believe that even if I wasnt aware of it at the time, she
watched over me as a child and helped me gain opportunities to appreciate both
the wilderness and my freedom, things that she admires about me. I grew to
understand her role as protector of women and the wild in my mid-teens when I
had several negative experiences, some involving boys, and some involving the
destruction of my sacred woods. Her active emergence in my life was part of the
healing process from those traumas. Rather than advising me to abandon
civilization and the male sex entirely, she simply cautioned me to be more aware of
the choices I made in regards to both of these, and to be mindful of my own needs
and independence when considering them. In hindsight, I can see where she quietly
facilitated some necessary changes in getting me out of unhealthy situations as I
went into my twenties and started out as a legally independent entity. Instead of
forcing me to the best conclusion, she gave me the room to learn for myselfthe
best way for me to absorb the lessons therein.

Earth Mother and Sky Father: Nothing can live without the Earth and Sky. I have
included these two in my evocations at pretty much every ritual from the
beginning. I wouldnt say my relationship is any more personal than anyone
elsesbut considering I depend on them both for my very existence, Id say thats
Lupa



16
pretty personal to begin with! I havent worked with them as independent entities
in the same way I work with, say, Artemis, but that doesnt make them any less
important.

Lupa: Lupa, to me, is more of a concept than a personal deity, though I also
acknowledge her existence as such. Part of why I accepted this name for myself
was because of the legend of this wolf of Rome. I have chosen not to have children
in this life, but I have other children (such as my creative projects) that, while not
made of my flesh and blood, do receive my nurturing. Ive also studied the word
lupa in a number of languages. In Latin, it means female wolf, but also whore.
The Spanish definition is magnifying glass, while in Filipino lupa means earth
or land. So depending on how you slice it, Im either the wolf who focuses on the
earth or the most magnified whore in the land!
But in all seriousness, I do have a reproduction of the famous Roman
bronze statue of Lupa on my altar. While my relationship with her isnt as personal
as it is with Artemis, I do respect this deity who has honored me with her name
and her more quiet presence.

San: There are going to be some folks who would burn me at the stake for this
(verbally, not literally). However, among my personal pantheon is San from
Mononoke Hime (The Princess Mononoke). This is an anime/manga featuring a girl
raised by wolves, named San. She is a pop culture deity, a member of modern
mythology. She is a huntress goddess, similar to Artemis in many ways, though
theyre independent of each other. (I dont go for that whole All god/desses are
one god/dess thing). She reminds me a lot of myself in a lot of ways, particularly
my strong connection to all things lupine. I also connect myself as a therianthrope
to her more strongly than most deities, because of what she representsa wolf in
human flesh. I havent worked with her as extensively as Artemis, but I intend to
do so in the future.

Bast: I have worked with Bast both as a feline deity and as the goddess of pleasure,
often in conjunction with the totem Cat. Shes not someone I have a lot of contact
with, but I do have a statue of her on my altar to honor our past workings. She
checks in every so often, but I cant say I have as strong a relationship with her as I
do with, say, Artemis.

Anubis: I primarily work with him in regards to the proper handling of animal
remains. While traditionally hes the overseer of mummification (which did include
nonhuman animals), its not too much of a stretch to also include the sacred care of
the skins and bones of various nonhuman animals I work with.

Yes, I realize theres a decided lack of male deities here, other than Anubis. Believe
me, Ive tried connecting with gods. There just hasnt been anyone that I really felt
comfortable with. Some of it, admittedly, is issues with male authority in general.
The Lupa Liturgy


17
However, in recent years my gender identity has shifted from masculine female to
spiritual androgyne in female flesh. As Ive become more comfortable in myself as
male as well as female, Ive lost a lot of that mistrust of male deity.
This was confirmed for me on February 8, 2007 when I had my yearly long
chat with Artemis. She said that she was planning on lessening her direct influence
on my life to make room for an as-of-yet unidentified feminine male deity. As of
late March the god hasnt shown up, though I can feel his approach on the edges of
my consciousness. These things happen when all parties are ready, and Im not
about to hurry the situation and potentially spoil it. I have my suspicions, but Im
keeping them to myself.
Im also curious about hermaphroditic/androgynous deities, of which there
are a few. Im particularly interested in the pop culture pantheon, the Dehara of
Storm Constantines Wraeththu mythos
9
. The two Wraeththu trilogies are dark
fantasy/sci fi written by Storm that center on a race of androgynous beings who
evolved from humanity in a postapocalyptic world. Storm, being a magician herself,
wove quite a bit of actual magical theory into her creation (channeling?) of this
world, and in recent years has produced a nonfiction, fully functional pop culture
magical system based on Wraeththu
10
. The pantheon of this system are the Dehara,
the gods of Wraeththu, and so far they are the deities that best represent what
androgyny is in my life.

What the Totems Have Taught Me

Okay, okayso I said that Id never write a totem animal dictionary. Well, this isnt
precisely a dictionary. Its more a record of what I have learned from various
totems, rather than This is what this totem means. Ive included these for
interests sake, and because an explanation of my spiritual beliefs wouldnt be
complete without them.

Wolf: Wolf has been my primary totem almost my entire life. Its sometimes hard
to say what Wolf has taught me, because in a sense (particularly when taking
therianthropy into consideration) Wolf taught me to be me. Theres been a lot of
influence from this particular totem on my life over the years, and its not always
stereotypically lupine. For example, I am not the most social of creatures; Wolf
people are often stereotyped as being very pack-based, and so its assumed that
they like being around their friends and family a lot. However, ones totem (or, for
that matter, therioside) does not solely define a person. Due to conditioning, I am

9
All of the Wraeththu books, including extensions written by other authors, may be found at the
Immanion Press website, http://www.immanion-press.com; Storm started Immanion Press in 2002 as
a way to keep her and other fantasy/sci fi authors books in print for more than the shelf life of a
magazine, as she puts it. The first trilogy is also available stateside through Orb books, and the
second through Tor. Amazon.com carries all of them.
10
At this time, the first of three nonfiction books is available via Immanion Press. Grimoire Dehara:
Kaimana came out in 2006 and lays out the groundwork of this system.
Lupa



18
not as social as I could be, and that simply comes from being human. On the other
hand, wolf packs often disband for part of the year when small game is more
plentifulthe pack is more necessary when going after larger, more dangerous
game. I do try to maintain a good balance of me time to social time, whether
with my mate or friends or family.
What I have gotten from Wolf is a lot of intensity. When Wolf interacts with
others like hir, theres always a lot of energy to it, even if the physical actions are
subtle. Whether its a pack coming together again at the start of the big game
season, or the confrontation between Alpha and Beta over the kill, or playing with
this years pups, wolves dont seem to do anything half-heartedly. (Theyre even
serious sleepers, and may sleep for several days after gorging on twenty pounds of
meat at one sitting!) Wolf is my North animal.

Fox: Wolfs intensity is one of the reasons Fox came into my life. Fox manifests to
me as male, but a very feminine male. This gentler approach to life is something
Fox has used to help me balance out Wolfs intensity. The Lakhota characterized
Fox as Wolfs smaller, gentler cousin, according to Joseph Epes Browns Animals of
the Soul, and it seems quite fitting in my experience. Rather than getting defensive,
Wolf allows Fox in at times when things are getting to be a little too much.
Fox is also the Magician. He has taught me an amount of flexibility through
the practice of magic, and the ability to see through many different viewpoints
the Shapeshifter. Magic is actively causing conscious change in your life, and this
totem has been an excellent guide not only in direct esoterica, but gender identity,
emotional healing, and other areas of my life that have required some alteration.
For this reason, Fox is one of my South animals, the fire of Change.

Deer: Deer is actually one of my older totems, though one that Ive all too often
taken for granted. He originally made himself known to me as the Dreamkeeper;
the first skull I ever painted for magical purposes was an eight point whitetail buck
skull that served to protect me in my dreams.
However, Ive recently started dancing Deer as well, and weve touched on
some new ideas. First, Deer is a survivor. Predators, even those that are hunted by
other animals (humans included) dont quite understand survival the way that a
prey animal does (its not more or less important, just different). Deer teaches a
new way to survive in this world, with its dangers and challenges. Deer also teaches
grace and decorumand this ties in nicely with survival. Often it is ones words
that make one a success in this world, and being able to speak well can be a major
asset.

Lynx: Choosing my words carefully is also a lesson from Lynx, one of the newest
totems Ive worked with. However, where Deer simply teaches how to be smooth
and confident in ones speech, Lynx is the teacher of when to speak, and when to
be silent. Thats as far as weve gotten thus far, though still waters run deep. Lynx is
also currently one of my South animals.
The Lupa Liturgy


19


Bear: This is another one whos been around pretty much from the beginning. I
actually acknowledge two bears, Grandfather Silvertip and Grandmother
Silverclaw. I asked them their names after reading Giving Voice to Bear by David
Rockwell
11
; in which he talked about how people around the world who revered
bears often spoke to them through nicknames rather than the word bear itself. I
asked the two bears what they thought, and they liked the honor.
Grandfather Silvertip is a black bear; he takes away the illnesses and negative
energy with his claws. Grandmother Silverclaw is a grizzly; she adds in the healing
energy once Grandfather is done. I also honor them in the West quarter. They tend
to be patient with me, though occasionally Ill get a particularly insistent nudge
from them if Im not paying enough attention.

Badger: This is another newer totem; hes helped me be successful in my job hunt.
I wanted to work with a totem who would help me utilize my stubborn streak for a
good cause, and Badger was the one who volunteered. Of course, there are other
areas of my life where persistence could be helpful, though I also need to balance
that with patience.

Cat: I started working with Cat a few years ago when I wanted to become more
comfortable with my sexual self. Being a very sensual creature herself, Cat came to
me with her brother Panther and helped me to become more accepting of pleasure
and pain. I also learned to be more comfortable in my own body and in my self-
image, and to be more confident. You know how some people can wear certain
colors, and others cant and often it has less to do with looks and more with the
way the person carries hirself? I could never wear red until I started working with
Catfirst just a little splash of it, and then more, usually accented with black.

Cougar: Cougar has actually had two separate and distinct manifestations in my life.
Back in 2004, in my totemic personality aspecting experiment, Cougar represented
Hostile Strengththe protector. He only came out every so often, and only when
he was needed for strength. Other than that he hung in the background, waiting
patiently.
More recently, though, hes shown more of his playful feline side, teaching
me to not take things so seriously, and that even the toughest person can still be a
kitten at times. Id been so stressed in the past few years that Id forgotten to take
time out to play and have fun, and Cougar has been helping me to rebuild this
need.

Horse: Ive always had somewhat of a Love/Hate relationship with Horse. Horse
was the second totem to ever work with me; he basically came in and took over for

11
Roberts Rinehardt, 1993.
Lupa



20
Wolf during my teenage years. He worked to help me deal with the anxieties of
adolescence, as well as the stress of the social fishbowl that is public high school.
Unfortunately, my focus on Horse led to a lot of teasing from my peers,
who just thought I was some horse crazy girl. I was already pretty unpopular, and
this didnt really help (since supposedly this was something that only children went
through, not grown-up 15 year olds who should be more interested in boys and
makeup). So I became ashamed of Horse, and was actually relieved when Wolf
came back in my senior year. Im still working to rebuild that relationship in a
healthy manner, both with Horse, and with that part of my life.

Hawk: My primary relationship with Hawk is as my East animal. Hawk represents
focus and mental clarity, as well as new beginnings and the promise of a new day.

Greybaby: Greybaby isnt really a totem, but he is an animal spirit. Specifically, hes
a wolf spirit who has taken up residence in a small stuffed toy wolf I bought not
long after I was first introduced to magic. Like most stuffed critters, hes a good
sleeping buddy, and is small enough I can comfortably cuddle him while I sleep, or
tote him around in a backpack or large pocket if I need support throughout the
day. Hes my version of a security blanket, and the first protective spirit I really
connected to. He doesnt look particularly ferocious, but he does his task well.

The Skin Spirits: This is a collective term I use to refer to the spirits of the animals
within the skins, bones and other animal parts in my home, especially those that are
in my personal collection rather than destined for new homes elsewhere as artwork.
The first one I really connected to was in the first full wolf pelt I ever brought
home. If any of you have ever seen me dancing around the fires at Brushwood,
youll know the one Im talking about. While a lot of the spirits are slumbering,
waiting for me to call them out so we can create new artwork, there are generally at
least a few wandering around my home at any given time (not physically, of
course!). The spirits of my various dancing skins are known for snagging me by a
sleeve as I walk by when they want to dance or otherwise need to talk to me about
something.

I realize that my listings here are primarily Big, Impressive North American Birds
and Mammals (BINABM). I have done some work with others, but Im saving the
meat of that discussion for my next book on animal magic. The above are the
totems that have most influenced my spiritual path over the years; theyre not the
limit of my totemic and spiritual allies.

The Lupa Liturgy
Chapter 3: Tools of My Trade




Like a lot of magicians and pagans, I have a set of ritual tools. I used to be bad
about collecting things and then never actually using them, but over the years Ive
pared down my collection to just the essentials. Heres a summary of the tools I use
the most, and what theyre for.

Athame: I admit that while I dont have the intense fascination with sharp, shiny
objects that some other pagans do, I am pretty fond of my athame. Its actually the
second one Ive used; the first one only last a couple of years, and I ended up
giving it to a friend. The one I have now is a handmade (not by me) deer antler
handled knife with a single edged blade and a brass pommel and hilt. I bought it at
the same shop where I got my first artwork supplies, and its been one of my
favorite tools ever since. I use it primarily for directing energy, usually when
creating sacred space. However, I have occasionally used it as a cutting tool in a
few rituals when a sharp edge was called for. This, more than just about any other
tool, has my energy invested in it.

Staff: Early in my practice I was driving down a back road and stopped at a creek
to sit and watch the water go by on a nice summer day. Spinning in an eddy was a
branch, just about my height and the perfect size for my hand. The water had
stripped it of its bark, and it grabbed my attention immediately. I fished it out and
put it in the back of my truck to dry. When I got home, I spent hours sanding it,
then let it sit for a few months to let the various bugs that had taken up residence
in it relocate.
One day I was holding the staff, trying to figure out what to do with it, when
I started seeing animals in the grain of the wood. Not insects, but the forms of
mammals and birds and reptiles and other creatures within the swirls and lines of
the wood grain. Inspired, I took out my box of acrylic paints and spent weeks
painting the animals to bring them out of the woodworkliterally!
Once I was done, I tried experimenting with the staff in ritual. I found that
it worked best as an evocation tool, acting as a channel for totems and other animal
spirits to enter into the ritual area. I also used it as a way of marking which totems
Id worked with; I made sure that each one was represented at least once in the
wood grain (sometimes having to hunt a little bit for the right spot), and I tied a
piece of fur, feather or bone from that species to the staff to help aid the
connection.

Bowl: This is an old hand carved wooden bowl I found in an antique shop, again
early in my practice. I primarily use it for offerings, and occasionally as a stand for
Lupa



22
candleholders. Its not particularly flashy, but its very attractive in an Earthy,
simple sort of way.

Candles: I admit that I really like candle magic. Its simple, efficient, but it gets the
job done. Ive used it for everything from offerings to casting sigils. Generally what
Ill do is use rituals to evoke or invoke the entities Id like to help me with whatever
my purpose is, and then well all work together to charge the candle with
appropriate energy. I light the candle, and then close down the ritual and let it burn
down. Im a big fan of those little four inch long candles that take about two hours
to burn for one-shot magical workings. They help me to continue the magic even
after the ritual itself is done and over with.

Dance Costumes: These are a collection of animal skins of various species that Ive
collected over the years. Some of them Ill dance with while theyre draped over my
entire body; others Ill simply hang over one shoulder as we dance.
Skindancing allows an easy invocation both of the spirit of the skin hirself,
and the corresponding totem. Not only do we get to create some really wild magic
together, but I also get a chance to see through the eyes of another animal.
Additionally, the spirits have the opportunity to wear a body again, something that
they really seem to appreciate. Along with my wolfskin, I also have a bear that used
to be an old rug, a deer (complete with antlers), a fox, a rabbit, and a number of
others.
Ive danced my wolf the most. The first time was at Brushwood during the
summer of 2002; I stripped down and wore nothing but the skin (its a clothing
optional pagan site), and danced for hours around the drum circle. Its always an
amazing experience, because not only am I invoking the spirit of the skin, but I also
go through a very intense mental/perception shift (in regards to my therianthropy,
which Ill explain in more detail later). While my body itself never changes, the way
I use it does. I move as close as I can to the way a wolf moves, and the energy is
just incredibly intense. Ive gotten a lot of feedback from people who witnessed the
wolf dancing in particular. It really seems to inspire folks, and Ive had plenty of
instances where I had the pleasure of people dancing with me as wolves, imitating
my moves and bringing that energy into themselves. Thats some of the most
amazing magic Ive ever been honored to participate in.

Art Supplies: Some of my best magic comes from artwork. Needles, thread, paint,
scissors and Exacto knives are the main players here, and its with these that I take
skins and bones, feathers and beads, and make them into magical creations. The act
of creation produces gnosis, the single-pointed focus necessary for magic to work.
Sometimes I use it for meditation, other times I simply allow myself to merge with
the animal spirits for a while.

Necklace: A lot of pagans have ritual jewelry, or sacred items they rarely remove.
Mine is a necklace I got the summer between high school and college, not long
The Lupa Liturgy


23
afteroh, you get the idea. Almost all the important things in my practice stem
from the first two or three years after my introduction to all things magical.
That summer I took my very first trip to Seattle, a graduation gift. While
visiting my family I stopped by a gift shop near the infamous Space Needle. They
had a wide selection of scrimshaw necklaces made from fossilized mammoth tusk,
and I found the perfect one for me. The pendant had (surprise, surprise) a wolf
face on it, and the necklace itself was made of bone and glass beads of various
types and colors. It quickly became my favorite necklace, and I rarely went without
it through most of the next decade.
A few years later, I received my very first wolf claw as a gift from the owner
of the Native supply shop. I tied it to the necklace so that it dangled down behind
the pendant, and its been there ever since. The only time I removed it was after I
moved to Seattle; I had felt called to move to the city ever since that first visit, and
for nearly a decade I waited. Once I got there, I took the necklace in to see if it
could be re-inked, as the design had faded somewhat. I left the wolf claw at home,
not wanting it to get lost. Sadly, the pendant couldnt be restored without being
entirely sanded down because so much of my skin oil had soaked into it that the
ink wouldnt absorb. I opted to keep it as-is, and while the design isnt as dark as it
used to be, I can still see the wolfs eyes watching the world as we walk through it
together. These days the only time I take it off is to shower, and I put it back on as
soon as I dry.

Altar: My altar has had the same basic setup throughout the years. I generally
construct it according to the four directions. I have a statue of each of the quarter
animals, and in the center or at the sides representations of other deities and
entities. Currently my bowl, athame and a couple of candle holders are the only
tools I have; I used to clutter it with a lot of tools I never actually used, just to try
to be traditional. I originally used my childhood toy box as my altar and storage
space, but now that I am owned by a cat I find that I need to keep it higher up on
top of the wood burning stove.

Those are pretty much my main magical tools. I have others, but they dont see
nearly as much use as the ones listed. Im perfectly capable of open-hand magic,
but theres something to be said for years of emotional and energetic attachment,
too.

Lupa



24
The Lupa Liturgy
Chapter 4: Rituals and Other Workings




I vary from year to year as to how much ritual work I do. Ive never been a daily
routine kind of person, preferring spontaneity. As of late Ive been wanting to do
more regular work, though not necessarily on a daily basis, so I figure sooner rather
than later therell be more experimentation going on.
My rituals tend to follow a pretty generic neopagan formatcreate sacred
space, invoke/evoke anyone else involved, do the magic, make the offerings if
applicable, say goodbye to everyone and close up shop. I dont always do the full
routine for every act of magic I create, but I use it for the majority of them. The
exception is most magic involving artworkIm so used to getting into an artistic
mindset that I automatically create sacred space and evoke as Im getting my tools
together and deciding who to work with. Its the same regardless of whether Im
making something to be sold or given away as a gift, or a magical pouch or poppet
for a specific purpose.

Daily Prayer

Something Ive been trying to do lately is to incorporate some form of daily
observance to reconnect with my FFG on a regular basis. Id been feeling pretty
spiritually disconnected, and it was having a definite adverse effect on me.
Sometimes everyday life gets in the way of more esoteric pursuits, and after a while
this can be a disaster!
This particular prayer gives me a chance to touch base with the
mostwellI dont want to say most important members of my FFG, because
theyre all important. Maybe most influential is a better description. While this is
how the prayer is structured as of this writing, I add or remove entities as
relationships change. Removal doesnt mean that I no longer have any interest in
working with them; however, the ones who are mentioned in this prayer tend to be
whoever Im most active with at the time. I try to pray once in the morning before
I go off to work (or whatever I have planned that day) and once in the evening as
Im falling asleep. I may also use it at various times throughout the day when I feel
the need for a little grounding and centering.

I thank all of those who have given me this day
Earth Mother, Sky Father, Lady Huntress,
Wolf Who Is Me and Who I Am
All My Friends, Family, Guardians
All those who have given of themselves to feed me, clothe me, shelter me,
Protect me, teach me and heal me
And all those who have allowed me this day.
Lupa



26
You honor me by your presence.
I thank Deer for the dreams, and I ask for good dreams tonight.
I thank Greybaby for the protection for me and my mate at night.
I thank all the guardians of the home for keeping it safe while we sleep and while were away.

As I mention each individual, I feel the internal connection I have to hir ping me,
letting me know that my prayer has been acknowledged. This reassures me, as well
as reminds me that the connection is always there when either one of us needs it.

Creating Sacred Space

I understand the concept that all space is sacred, and therefore open to magical
work. However, sometimes I need to get myself into the proper mindset for magic
and/or meditation, whether Im simply celebrating help with a successful
endeavour, or preparing to journey into the thick of my psyche. Im better with
more active forms of magic and meditation, and so having a rite to help me clear
out my head and get focused on the work at hand helps me more than sitting in
one place trying to let all the thoughts float away like little clouds (or whatever
simile you want to use).
Ive used this basic formula pretty much from the beginning of my practice.
While the details have changed, the primary inspiration came from a combination
of Scott Cunninghams Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner and Ted Andrews
Animal-Speak, which were two of my earliest books on magic.

Purify the ritual area by sweeping it three times widdershins with a broom. Start in
the center, and work your way outward, going out a little further with each time
around. As you sweep, visualize all the energetic clutter being swept out of the area.

Next, get the athame and hold it in the left hand (Im a southpaw). Stand in the
North quarter, facing outward. Say:

Great Black Wolf of the North Wind,
I greet thee, and I ask thee to watch over me this day/eve.

Visualize a large black wolf in a lush green forest before you. In my case, Wolf
usually uses my body as a conduit to enter the ritual area, as do all the spirits I work
with. I know hes here when I momentarily astrally shift to wolf form. Its the same
way with all of them. Feel the lean-muscled body coated in warm fur, dull claws
digging into soft, moist earth. Once Wolf has arrived, say,

You honor me by your presence.

Then trace a large green pentacle in the air before you with the athame, starting
from the top down to the lower right corner, and so forth, with a deosil circle.
The Lupa Liturgy


27
Reach up with the blade and draw down a quarter sphere of green Earth energy.
Obviously youll have to stop the blade when it hits the floor or ground, but it goes
all the way down. Within this quarter there are trees, and bushes, and dark green
moss, with vines trailing throughthe domain of Wolf.

Next, trace a line of energy from the very center of the North quarter to the very
center of the East quarter; your arm should extend from your shoulder at a 90
degree angle, with the tip of the athame at the very end. Stand facing outward in
the East quarter, and call on Hawk:

Great White Hawk of the East Wind,
I greet thee, and I ask thee to watch over me this day/eve.

Visualize a hawk with a white belly, such as a redtail, swooping through a bright
yellow sunlit sky and landing on a branch. Feel your astral form shift to a hawk, and
stretch your wings and spread your tail feathers. Then say,

You honor me by your presence.

Trace a large yellow pentacle in the air before you, and draw down a quarter sphere
of yellow Air energy. Feel the warm sunlight on your face, and the cool breeze
ruffling your feathers; take a deep breath.

Draw a line of energy from East to South, and then call on whatever animal(s) you
happen to be working with to create change in your life. Over the years I have
welcomed Bison, Horse, Stag, Coyote, Fox, Lynx, Cat and others in this quarter. As
of this writing I call on Fox for help rejuvenating my magical practice, and Lynx for
learning to choose my words more carefully. When calling Fox and Lynx together,
half of my body goes to each of them, split down the middle vertically, during the
shift.

Great Red (animal) of the South Wind,
I greet thee, and I ask thee to watch over me this day/eve.

See the animal come forth, surrounded by flames, and full of fiery power. Then say,

You honor my by your presence.

Draw a red pentacle in the air, and a quarter sphere of red Fire energy. Feel the
heat, not only of flames, but of the internal combustion of your body, your
metabolism, and the changes that are wrought in your microcosm every second.

Trace the line of energy from South to West; call on the Bears. There are two Bears
in my West. Grandfather Silvertip is a black bear; he pulls out the ill health and dis-
Lupa



28
ease during healing rituals. Grandmother Silverclaw is an Alaskan brown bear; she
adds in healthy energy.

Great Yellow Bears of the West Wind, Grandfather Silvertip, Grandmother Silverclaw,
I greet thee and I ask thee to watch over me this day/eve.

See the two bears before you, standing on rocks at the edge of a roaring river full of
fat, nourishing salmon. Say,

You honor me by your presence.

Create a blue pentacle in the air, and the quarter sphere of Water. Hear and feel
immense amounts of water splashing all around you like a waterfall, crashing into
that area of the ritual space.

Pull the energy around back to North to complete the circle. Then retrace the circle
deosil three times while saying:

I cast this circle in the name of the Earth Mother, the Sky Father, Lady Huntress, Wolf Who Is
Me and Who I Am, all my Friends, Family and Guardians, all those who have given of
themselves to feed me, clothe me, shelter me, protect me, teach me, and heal me, and all those who
have allowed this ritual this day/eve.

Feel the presence of all those you have invited enter into the ritual area through
your body, the sheer power almost too much to bear, and yet as welcome as a big
hug and hello. Then say,

You honor me greatly by your presence.

At this point you may proceed with whatever celebrations and magic you had
planned.

Holidays

As I noted earlier, February 8 is a special day for me, one that I mark each year by
having an in-depth conversation with Artemis, my matron goddess. I generally
dont do much celebrating of holidays these days, though Id like to change that at
some point soon. For the most part, when I do observe the Sabbats, I take time to
note what the natural world is like. The Sabbats are nicely spaced because theres
enough time in between them for something to have happened, but not so much
time that I totally lose track of the cycles. I also sometimes have celebrated
Lupercalia, though I do so to honor Lupa, my namesake, rather than taking a more
traditional reconstructed view of the holiday.

The Lupa Liturgy


29
Magical Pouches

One of the first forms of magic I worked with were magical pouches. Id start by
making a small pouch, maybe two inches by three inches, out of scrap leather. Id
then add in herbs and stones according to Cunninghams works
12
on the topic, and
paint the pouch with an appropriate totem based on my own UPG as well as
information picked up from various totem animal dictionaries that sounded like it
worked. Some of my earlier ones also reflected my interest in runes at the time.
For the most part, these were pretty simple creations made for common
purposes. Ive included the recipe for the healing pouch, the first one I ever
designed, just for interests sake. The correspondences are primarily out of
Cunninghams works, with some UPG thrown in.
Create a 2 x 3 drawstring pouch out of blue fabric or leather (if fabric,
make sure you can paint on it without it soaking through entirely), stitching it with
silver thread (no golden needles required). Add strings to wear it around your neck
if you like. On the front of the pouch, paint a bear holding the rune Berkana in her
front paws with silver paint. Bear is the totem of healing, and is a lunar animal,
hence the silver paint to also invoke the power of the moon. Both the moon and
Bear are sacred to Artemis, my matron goddess, who also aids me in my magic.
Once the paint is dry, put a few small pieces of amethyst and aventurine,
which both have healing properties, into the pouch. Add a pinch of mullein and
chamomile, as well as whatever other herbs are specifically associated with the
illness or injury being healed. Add in a leaf of sage (the type used for smudging, not
cooking) to help keep the energy of the pouch clean.
Finally, take a small stone bear pendant and tie a bit of brown bear hair and
a bit of black bear hair on its back, sort of like a Zuni fetish. The black hair draws
out the illness, while the brown hair invites healing energies. Tie the pouch firmly
shut. Charge a blue candle with healing energy and inscribe it with Berkana and the
patients name. Light the candle and hold the pouch over it (though not so close as
to set it on fire! Allow the energy of the candles heat to infuse the pouch. Hold the
pouch in your hands and seal that energy into it. Give or send it to the recipient
as soon as possible after this. S/he may wear the pouch, carry it in hir pocket, or
hang it near hir bed.
Most of my magical pouches follow the same basic formula, with
appropriate correspondences. While Ive done plenty of workings that are a lot
more complex, this is one of my favorite techniques, and its proven itself to be
quite effective.





12
Cunningham, Scott. Cunninghams Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs (1988) and Cunninghams
Encyclopedia of Crystal, Gem and Metal Magic (1987).
Lupa



30
Menstrual Magic

For whatever reason, I started keeping track of my menstrual periods in 1995,
when I was 16 years old. With few exceptions, I would mark on my calendar the
days I had my period from beginning to end. In more recent years Ive also kept
track of what time of day they start, what sorts of medications Im on that may
affect them, and the strength of the flow from day to day.
This serves a practical purpose. I can gauge my health by how regular my
cycles are, and how heavy the flow is. If its been a particularly stressful month, I
may start menstruating earlier, which is a sign for me to calm down. A lighter flow
generally means Im not eating enough, and so I bulk up especially on proteins as
well as drink extra fluids.
However, theres a spiritual aspect to it as well. Menstruation is a connection
to Artemis in her role as protector of women (while I identify as androgynous, I
still acknowledge that my body and genetics are female). Earlier in my magical
career, when I was more about feminist approaches to the Goddess, I would burn a
candle every month that had some of my menstrual blood on it. Sometimes it
would be for a specific purpose, but other times it was simply for the celebration of
being me, and that I was in good health and good hands.
And theres a hell of a lot of energy thats produced by menstruation. Cramps
are painful, but the focus on that pain can be diverted for magical purposes. Once I
started practicing Chaos magic, I sometimes used my cramps to cast sigils. I figured
that as long as I was required to suffer once a month, I might as well get what I
could out of it.
For years Ive worn a piece of fossilized coral in a small pouch around my
waist for the duration of my period. I dont remember quite what prompted me to
start this; call it random inspiration. Every month when my period starts, I put a
little of the blood around the hole in the center of the coral. This serves to collect
energy from that months cycle in the coral, which can be used in magic later on.
Over time Ive found that the memory of years of cycles has helped to regulate
my body more, too. Theres a definite difference when I forget to put on the pouch
at the beginning of menstruation!
One more personal celebration involved with menstruation is the fact that, if
Im menstruating, it means Im not pregnant. This may seem a little silly,
particularly to those of you who are actively creating families through biological
means. However, Ive never been a fan of personally having children. I have neither
the time nor the patience nor the desire to do so. Sex is wonderful, but I prefer to
not have any little nine-month accidents. And being childfree gives me an
additional amount of freedom, something that ties back in with my relationship
with Artemis. So sometimes we have a monthly celebration about the fact that I
am, once again, not pregnant.
You can see more of my writings on this topic in a Sagewoman article I wrote,
found at http://www.sagewoman.com/images/pdfs/sw67featurelupa.pdf.
The Lupa Liturgy
Chapter 5: So Whats That Whole Therianthropy
Thing About?




Ive dropped this word a few times in this study of my practices. Some of you are
probably familiar with the concept, but for those who arent, heres a very basic
understanding of it. Otherkin are people who, in some (generally nonphysical)
manner, believe that they are not entirely human. The most common explanation
people give is that they were a nonhuman being in a past/alternate life, and that life
imprinted on them enough to where they still identify as that being in this life
(some attribute it to actually having a nonhuman soul). Other folks may explain it
as being a human with nonhuman energy, having an odd quirk of psychology or
neurobiology, or (in rare cases) genetic anomalies that are consistent through
certain types of Otherkin (though this has never actually been tested).
Therianthropes are people who identify as nonhuman animals on a
(generally nonphysical) level
13
. For instance, I am a wolf therian. I believe that,
spiritually, energetically, and psychologically, there is part of me that is more wolf
than human. I dont turn furry and howl at the full moon, but there is part of me
that understands the world from a lupine point of view and for whom human
mannerisms and behaviors are a bit confusing.
This isnt something new; ever since I was very young Ive felt at times that I
was born into the wrong body, that I was supposed to be a wolf instead of a
human. Not that I dont enjoy being human; I dont have that bad a case of species
dysphoria. But I do also allow for the part of me that is wolf, and I have integrated
that aspect of myself into the rest of me well enough that I tend to simultaneously
experience life both with human-mind and wolf-mind. Occasionally Ill shift closer
to one end of the human-wolf continuum or the other, depending on my needs,
but for the most part Im pretty well settled in the middle.
It's entirely possible that I'm stark raving mad, or at least too escapist for my
own good. But this is something that has persisted for almost my entire life, the
feeling that I'm not in the body I was supposed to be in, and that I should have
been a wolf instead. I express the wolf parts of myself through the medium of a
human body and brain as best as I can, with all its limitations. Yes, most humans
could access the more primitive parts of themselves with enough effort and
breaking down of boundaries, and I know neoshamanic types who do it routinely
through ritual shapeshifting. But that doesn't make them therians; it's not
something that's a 100%, 24/7 part of who and what they are.

13
It should be mentioned here that not all therianthropes consider themselves Otherkin. In fact, some
therians think all Otherkin are absolute flakesapparently its okay to believe youre a nonhuman
animal, but not okay to identify as a dragon or elf.
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32
And yes, it's primarily experiential and very subjective. I acknowledge that. I
can't get you into my head so you can perceive for yourself. If you don't believe
me, that's fine--no skin off of my back. But this is a part of what explains "reality"
to me; therianthropy is part of what informs my perception of both my personal,
internal microcosm, and the macrocosm-at-large that I share with all other forms
of consciousness. I am functional, and beyond that I am content and satisfied with
this explanation and interpretation of myself. Maybe there are other ways to explain
me and the way I am, but this is the structure that I have had the best success with
for my own needs. Just as I work the type of magic I get the best results from, so
do I, engineer of my own consciousness and perception of reality, work with the
understanding of these things that works best for me.

Therianthropy and Spirituality

Therianthropy isnt a religion or a type of magic; for some people its a form of
psychological quirk, and for others its simply a way to explain the parts of
themselves that humanity doesnt cover. It varies from person to person. That
being said, it can be a very spiritual experience for some therians.
In my own case, therianthropy ties in closely with totemism. I view totems
as external, archetypal beings; having a totem does not make one a therian. My
primary totem is Wolf, though, and therianthropy is part of how I relate to hir. I
also have found that because I can shift at will from human mindset to wolf
mindset, that this makes it easy for me to invoke other entities and allow my own
consciousness to slide to the side to allow whoevers being invoked in.
Theres no such thing as a physical shapeshift, at least nothing dramatic. The
most Ive gotten was a fairly consistent change in eye color. I have hazel eyes, and
theres a ring of amber around the pupil that sometimes expands during shifts. Its
been witnessed by other people who have seen me shift, but I doubt itll convince
anyone (me included) that physical shifting is possible. I shift npnphysically quite a
lot in magic, particularly energetically, perceptionally, and spiritually. Whenever I
evoke one of the animals of the quarters, or any totem, I feel myself briefly
energetically shift to that animal; its how I know that the evocation was a success. I
have an internal connection to each entity I work with, and while these are not
therianthropic in nature, they do have a similar effect, though not as intense. (Of
course, its possible that Im only splitting hairsor hares--in differentiating
between my internal connections to Wolf and, say, Rabbit.) I also deliberately use
shifting as a form of invocation (or vice versa, if you prefer). And its entirely
possible to invoke parts of yourself as well as external independent beings. So the
lines are actually pretty blurry there.
Speaking of shifting, Ive found that standard neoshamanic shapeshifting
rituals, the kind that can be found in any of a number of totemism 101 books
(including Andrews Animal-Speak), can be used to induce therianthropic shifts.
This was a very useful in the years after my initial Awakening to that aspect of
myself, when the Wolf aspect fought for more balance with the Human aspect,
The Lupa Liturgy


33
which resulted in involuntary shifts any time I wasnt giving my Wolf self enough
attention. The neoshamanic rituals were excellent for taking the wolf for a walk,
as it were. These days Im balanced enough between Wolf and Human that I very
rarely ever involuntarily shift. However, if I feel like being more Wolf than Human
for a while, a little drumming and dancing is all it takes to get a really deep shift
going.
In fact, some totemic magic can be altered to aid newly Awakened therians
(or more experienced ones) who want to have a better connection to that which is
not human in them. Just as its possible to evoke (not invoke) aspects of yourself to
have a conversation with them in a neutral, detached manner, so its possible to
evoke your therioside in the same manner as a totem. Why would you want to do
this? Well, I know that when I was younger and didnt have as much control over
myself, sometimes it helped me to have an imaginary conversation between my
Human and Wolf selves. Since the Human self was the one I understood better, I
took on that role while speaking to the Wolf self as if it were a separate being
(temporarily). This allowed me to step back a bit from that part of me and look at it
more objectively to figure out what was needed aot make both sides more
harmonious. The important thing to keep in mind, of course, is that a therioside is
NOT a separate, external being; the division between Human and Wolf was
artificially and temporarily created for the purpose of self-examination.
14

However, its the natural world where my therianthropy and my spirituality
most mix. Whether the therianthropy contributed (along with many other factors)
to my love of nature or not, Im not sure, though I suspect it had at least some paw
in it. Through the wolf aspect of myself Ive learned to appreciate details in nature I
might otherwise miss if I were only perceiving things as human. That doesnt mean
that non-therians cant appreciate nature, of course; it simply means that for me,
personally, seeing the world through the eyes of a wolf aids in that appreciation.
Nothing quite matches a full mental, energetic and spiritual shift while
running full-tilt through the woods, though. That, to me, is the closest I get to
Heaven on Earth. In that moment, everything falls away but me, feeling for all
the world that I run on all fours, wind in my fur and carrying scents to my nose,
every little sounds around me telling me about the life that abounds. I connect with
my environment to a degree never experienced elsewhere; pure instinct kicks in,
and I am able to navigate even the tightest gaps in the trees with ease. It is a time of
pure Flow and Grace, and nothing can stop me. The only thing that reminds me
that I am still in human flesh is the eventual winding down of this experiencebut
in the meantime, its the best shamanic journey I could ever go on, even though the
purpose is for the experience itself.

14
Im tempted to do some more writing on therianthropy and magic and where they intersect in my
life. This isnt the place for that, but perhaps in the future something will manifest.
Lupa



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The Lupa Liturgy


35
Afterword




This is the first time Ive really sat down and thought about my spirituality; its
always been something I mostly kept to myself. I feel comfortable talking about
itI just never thought anyone would be interested. But here you are, reading it, so
I assume you must have some interest in it, and I thank you for that.
It amazes me that, no matter how my magical practice has delved into
experimental regions, my spirituality remains, at its core, the same as it was when I
first got started. I take that as a good sign. Early on I was a little worried that
maybe I was just fooling myself, that perhaps I should just go back to the flock.
However, the basics of my beliefs have withstood the test of time, and while some
of the details have evolved along with me, a lot of my early beliefs and spiritual
practices remain an important part of my life today.
I find this comforting, especially now that Im beginning to head back into
the spiritual side of things and really exploring that part of who and what I am.
When I first started studying paganism, I wanted to find the beliefs that really
explained Life, the Universe and Everything to me. I had to find them on my own,
despite being raised with the idea that Truth had to be conveyed by someone else.
My early insecurities have been long since overturned by the proof that it is quite
possible for me to make my own path up the mountain and make my connection
to the Divine.

May you find the same peace in yourself.




The author may be contacted at [email protected],
http://www.thegreenwolf.com, http://lupabitch.livejournal.com, and
http://lupabitch.wordpress.com, as well as at http://www.kinkmagic.com.

Lupa



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The Lupa Liturgy


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Bibliography and Other Influential Books

This is a listing of some of the more influential books on my path, though certainly
not the sun total of my reading over the years. Ive left out the utter drek, such as
the really bad plastic shamanism books, as well as some of the early Wiccan
material that really wasnt all that great to begin with.

Andrews, Ted (1993). Animal-Speak. Minneapolis: Llewellyn Publications.
-- (1999) The Animal-Wise Tarot. Dragonhawk Publishing.
Brown, Joseph Epes (1997). Animals of the Soul: Sacred Animals of the Oglala Sioux.
Element Books.
Constantine, Storm (2006). Grimoire Dehara: Kaimana. Stafford: Immanion Press.
Carroll, Peter J. (1992). Liber Kaos. York Beach, Maine: Weiser Books.
-- (1987). Liber Null & Psychonaut. York Beach, Maine: Weiser Books.
Conway, D.J. and Sirona Knight (1998). The Shapeshifter Tarot. Minneapolis:
Llewellyn Publications.
Crowley, Aleister (1976). Thoth: Tarot Deck. York Beach, Maine: Weiser Books.
Cunningham, Scott (1993). Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner. Minneapolis:
Llewellyn Publications.
-- (1988). Cunninghams Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs. Minneapolis: Llewellyn
Publications.
-- (1987). Cunninghams Encyclopedia of Crystal, Gem and Metal Magic. Minneapolis:
Llewellyn Publications.
Ellwood, Taylor (2004). Pop Culture Magick. Stafford: Immanion Press.
Ellwood, Taylor (2005). Space/Time Magic. Stafford: Immanion Press.
Ellwood, Taylor (2007). Inner Alchemy. Stafford: Immanion Press/Megalithica
Books.
Graham, Nicholas (2007). The Four Powers: Magical Practice For Beginners of All Ages.
Stafford: Immanion Press/Megalithica Books.
Harvey, Graham (1997). Contemporary Paganism: Listening People, Speaking Earth. New
York: New York University Press.
Gray, William G. (1980). Magical Ritual Methods. York Beach, Maine: Weiser Books.
Leonard, George (2006). The Silent Pulse: A Search For the Perfect Rhythm That Exists in
Each of Us. Gibbs Smith, Publisher.
Pike, Sarah M. (2001). Earthly Bodies, Magical Selves: Contemporary Pagans and the Search
for Community. University of California Press.
Rockwell, David (1993). Giving Voice to Bear: North American Indian Rituals, Myths and
Images of Bear. Roberts Rinehardt Publishers.
Wetzel, Joshua (2006). The Paradigmal Pirate. Stafford: Immanion Press/Megalithica
Books.
Wilson, Robert Anton (1983). Prometheus Rising. Tempe, AZ: Falcon.