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Building Healthy Relationships Handout

This document outlines a wellness workshop on building healthy relationships at home and at work. The presentation discusses the challenges of relationships and ways to improve them, including balancing closeness and distance, communicating expectations, responding supportively to relationship bids, managing triangles, resolving conflicts constructively, and cultivating forgiveness. Relationship-building strategies involve understanding expectations, emotional bids, triangles, and conflict styles as well as grace, forgiveness and emotional intelligence.

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172 views4 pages

Building Healthy Relationships Handout

This document outlines a wellness workshop on building healthy relationships at home and at work. The presentation discusses the challenges of relationships and ways to improve them, including balancing closeness and distance, communicating expectations, responding supportively to relationship bids, managing triangles, resolving conflicts constructively, and cultivating forgiveness. Relationship-building strategies involve understanding expectations, emotional bids, triangles, and conflict styles as well as grace, forgiveness and emotional intelligence.

Uploaded by

nicoletagr2744
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOC, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Building Healthy Relationships at Home and Work

A Wellness Workshop Brought to You by


Your Employee Assistance Program
Presenter:

Alan Korinek, Ph.D, LMFT

Notes

I. The Reality about Relationships


A. Relationships are Necessary
B. Relationships are Challenging

II. Ways to Build Healthy Relationships


A. Balance Closeness and Distance
1. Relationships require closeness and distance
2. Balance is necessary
a. Sometimes needs can be out of sync
b. The pursuer-distancer dance
B. Talk about Your Expectations
1. Importance of meeting expectations
2. Expectations arent always communicated
a. Categories of expectations
b. Changing expectations over time
3. Expectation-to-Alienation Progression (see Fig. 1)
C. Be Mindful of Your Bids
1. Bidding in relationships

2. Three responses to bids and their effects


a. Turning toward
Notes
b. Turning against
c. Turning away from
D. Create Healthy Emotional Triangles
1. Relationship triangles
a. Thinking in Threes
b. Examples of triangles
2. The outside position in a triangle
a. A matter of perception
b. Various reactions
3. Keeping triangles healthy
E. Manage Conflict with Care
1. Interpreting conflict
2. Metaphors for conflict
3. The Four Horsemen and how to avoid them
4. Emotional intelligence in conflict situations
5. Options for managing conflict (see Fig. 2)
F. Be Gracious and Work at Forgiveness
1. Necessity of grace and forgiveness
2. Genuine forgiveness
3. Healing deep emotional pain

Figure 1: Expectation to Alienation Progression

Notes

Figure 2: Options for Managing Conflict

Books on Building Healthy Relationships


Gottman, J., & Gottman, J. (2006). 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage. New York: Three
Rivers.
Gottman, J. & DeClaire, J. (2001). The Relationship Cure: A 5-Step Guide for Building Better
Connections with Family, Friends, and Lovers. New York: Crown.

Gottman, J. & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical
Guide. New York: Three Rivers.
Gottman, J. (1997). Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting. New York:
Simon & Schuster.

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